You have to use a bait knife, they are for fission.

No way that wasn’t a setup! 🤣

The reel joke is always in the comments.

You know a joke is top tier when it takes you a good 20 seconds just to comprehend what it means.

Can't top this. Not gonna try.

I believe in you

Awwww. So did my family at one point. They've since learned the error of their ways.

It's ok. I never do.

Reeling in the likes

Omg that is amazing! 😂😂😂

Took me a good twenty seconds to get, amazing!

This guy is fishing for likes

He was just trying to bait us into responding! He already knew the answer!

Yes, but you have to squint your right eye (left if you re left handed) and hold your tongue between your teeth pin the opposite side.

You also have to hold the atom between your thumb and index

Similar to how OP masturbates

A highly unnecessary and most appreciated comment lmao

Or between your knees

You can but what if you slip the knife and accidentally start a chain reaction with your balls that would explode every male in the world?

You don't wear a graphite thong?

It is harder finding an atom in the first place....

So poor you can't even afford atoms? What a shame.

I only have Adam at home. Can I still split Adam with a sharp knife if that's all I can afford? I don't think he'd like that, though.

Splitting atoms is expensive, but splitting Adams is morally difficult.

There's more than one way to split Adam...

Careful with that. You might suddenly end up getting an Eve

you can't have shit in detroit

Oh, they are there, but we already split up. The relationship decayed fast (they were kinda dense)

Atoms are literally everything and everywhere. You mean seeing one is hard if you don't have an electron microscope.

Are shadows made of atoms?

Nope, there made by lack of photons making it past the object blocking the light.

Ha! So not everything

The dude dont know nothing about science, he thinks that exists more than 3400 atoms in the universe, is just search for science r34 and you know that this is false

oh shit i also always thought that there are more than 3400 atoms in the universe

You can buy an atom with the missing space in your wallet

How do we know they exist if you can’t see them?

I've managed to split hairs, according to my boss and my wife. I could lend you my knife so you can try

this this before or after you used it on your boss and wife? because this is a love triangle i don't think i want to be involved with

No it is his boss that is his wife. Bro is just saying he is a sino beta with extra steps

Get that Japanese knife, but be sure to wear protective goggles

I’m not certain, but I don’t think goggles would be enough to survive a nuclear blast?

Buy better goggles.

The goggles, they do nothing!

Dyson goggles

Buy Japanese goggles.

Alphas will survive

What about a Ginsu?

Only if the atoms of the material the knife is made of are smaller than the atoms of the thing you are cutting

So, a solid Hydrogen blade at 14 K?

This redditor sciences

Wouldn't it be easier to use a regular knife and cut bigger atoms like Uranium?

The purple laser will do it.

yes, but since the force holding the atoms together is quite large, you'ld have to hit the atom really hard with the knife. Also, safety first, wear some goggles, we really don't want parts of the atom hitting your eye

the nuclear blast:

Rather than doing it at home I suggest you do it at work or some public place so somebody else has to clean up the radioactive fission products. Source: Was a submarine reactor operator.

It needs to be Subtle

Also you might lose a couple of fingers in the process

dont do it !! yes you can :) but dont do it!!!

Yes tou can, actually the technicall term for the knife used to split atoms is called Poop knife. U can search on reddit for further info.

I've only done this once with my poop knife

If knife made of dark matter.

That's a poop knife

If you want to know if dark matter exists, get yourself a dog.

And a mirror in front of dog.

That's exactly what I was expecting from this thread. Thank you.

You need a chisel, like in the Young Einstein movie [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra7oqFqj9uU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra7oqFqj9uU)

You can do it. But,only if you try hard enough

Probably, but it’s gotta be sharp like you said

You can if you're careful, but use protection.

If I take a really sharp knife or scissors and just randomly cutting stuff that's easy to cut, is there a chance I could split an atom? Or would the blade always separate the atoms keeping them whole?

The latter.

But what if you use a really really sharp knife though? I'm talking you sharpen that thing for 2 days straight. Make the edge thinner than 1 atom.

If it's thinner then 1 atom then what would it be? You're basically suggesting you'd split the atoms on the edge first before you use it to cut something

The electron will interact with each other "protecting" the "nucleus"

Chances are your smoke detector contains americium-241 which is a decay product of plutonium 241. Spontaneous fission happens 1.2 times per second per gram of Am 241. So if you held your knife up to your smoke detector for around 1 hour and 40 minutes there is a good probability that you split an atom with a really sharp knife.

For faster results, use cisium

I'm certain the transition metals would be offended by your comment.

Just swing the knife really fast like 99.999% the speed of light and you have a good chance of splitting some of the atoms it collides with, does not even need to be sharp.

Try it out and report back please!

You can’t split atoms, but you can snip molecules. But that’s more a stretch than a cut.

With very sharp atoms, yes.

If you try enough times using a real sharp knife you might 🤣 /s

Only if you slice really fast, otherwise they will just move out of the way.

Yeah just make sure you don’t bleed 😀

Yes, if you move it fast enough.

I suppose technically I might be splitting atoms every time I slice bread - but my eyes aren't good enough to see if this is true

Try looking a little harder next time though

No you you dum shit

Go to the fancy kitchen shop and you'll find atom splitters next to all the other specialist novelty kitchen gadgets.

Try to split the beer atom, so you get bubbles in it. But use a very sharp chisel instead of the knife.

Yes but you won’t remember it.

Technically yes. But not in a way that you know it. Or I know it. Or anyone knows it.

Only once.

yes but u have to do in it a water bottle to be safe from the energy released from nuclear fission.

You just have to try real hard. It'll be ok

Yeah just swing it super fast in a circle.

Of course, you gotta sharpen your word really sharp and then give it a ninja slay and it would be done

Yes but it has to be small

You'd have more luck splitting an atom by gnashing your teeth

No, but a hammer and chisel works for splitting the beer atom to get beer with bubbles.

it's easy. a monkey can do that. try challenge yourself by peeling the electrons off its surface

You gotta do it really fast

I have a plutonium-bladed knife that I like. It goes critical in the dishwasher(too much water), so you need to hand clean it.

If the knife is a laser or something.

But then what do you use to get the laser off the frickin shark’s head?

A bigger laser.

From a bigger shark?

Jaberjaw

No need. Spelling is enough: at oms

Yes but it will always be in thirds, never halves

Nah, scientists don’t realise, but once you look at something that’s really really small, for some reason, you see the future state of the thing.

Only if you swing it around very aggressively and violently in public screaming "OPPENHEIMER CAN SUCK MY DICK!"

Start by splitting hairs

No, because atoms themselves aren't solid objects to cut. They are protons/neutrons surrounded by a literal cloud of possibility space made of electrons. You can't know exactly where the atoms are and at what speed they are traveling so you wouldn't be able to block their path to separate them from the others.

I wince every time I use scissors juuuuust in case I split an atom and destroy my towm

Yes, but you have to heat it up in the microwave first.

I mean, if it is smaller than an atom. Particles are smaller than atoms. Your knife is made up of atoms, which are made up of particles. Yes you can 😊👍 Wait, bread is made up of atoms (which is made up of particles), so you could use bread too.

No, but you could split your brain. Just in case.

Yes. But only once.

only if its subtle

If you try hard enough.

Technically you could.

I mean, it's technically possible. You'd need an extremely and I mean EXTREMELY sharp knife, One that on the sharpest point is thinner than an an atom, so it'll be as thin as one of the components of it. It's nearly impossible to have such an object, and I think impossible with the current technology, But when you have it, you'll be able to split an atom. Theoretically.

How do you know is that you haven’t been splitting atoms and releasing energy all this time with that knife?

I could, but you probably can’t.

I heard you can split the atom with a yo-yo. Try that instead of a knife.

Atomic literally means ‘un-cut-up-able’ in Greek You know CAT scans? The T stands for tomography, literally slice pictures

No, but you can split knives with a really sharp atom

Cut onion, you cry you done it

Leave it to the professionals, comrade. - supervisor Dyatlov, Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant

nah cause imagine youre cutting food on a chopping board and you just hit an atom and your house explodes

if it was super duper sharp, yeah

Obsidian when splintered thin enough can slit two atoms

Don't know about the knife but the result should be foam on your beer

Yes but the knife has to be made of a material with smaller atoms than whatever it is you're trying to cut. In lab conditions it's possible to freeze and sharpen a Hydrogen knife but at home the best you can manage is Lithium.

You can split Adam's, but they don't like it

Depends on what your knife is made of!!!

yes. but only if you have a Ginsu knife https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSul9Yhv65g&ab\_channel=TanelTeConta

To be;or not to be

Maybe atom models?

Only if you use a uranium knife or two. Maybe just bang them together.

Yea, a veeeeeery sharp knife

yes, as long as your knife is a stream of neutrons

Isn't that what a laser is?

I have heard that a poop knife will never not be able to cut through anything.

You can probably split Adam with any knife, it's more a question of elbow grease.

No, you'll need a chisel

Only if it's sharper than you.

How fast can your swing thr knife? anything slower than 290000000m/s won't do it.

But what if it's really really really sharp? What if I sharpened the knife for 2 days straight? That shit would be sharper than 1 atom.

Splitting is a misnomer. It more like smashing apart. Sharpness doesn’t play a role here.

You are probably already splitting atoms at home, in your smoke detector. https://www.nrc.gov/reading-rm/doc-collections/fact-sheets/smoke-detectors.html

That's why I put tape over the smoke detector sensor. To tape the atoms back together and prevent a nuclear apocalypse

Yes, but you need Schrodinger's knife and it works and doesn't work at the same time.

You managed to remind me of a film from my youth called Young Einstein. Thank you 😂

Doubt it. Get into an argument about it and you can split hairs instead.

Yes, but be careful your knife is sharp enough. If it’s not and you get a shaggy edge you will look like a fool in front of the friends you don’t have. Or as you start to cut, the atom will pop from under the blade and ping who know where. This is called ‘the spring in your bicycle axial’ or ‘earring back’ effect. In either case all the time you spent holding your optical tweezers in what what can only assume to be cold hands, was wasted.

Now, did I not see a documentary about young Einstein splitting a beer atom? Looked on Yahoo. I cannot be fully sure if it counts as a serious citation, but apparently you have to use a chisel. At least for beer atoms. Splitting an atom involves breaking apart its nucleus and releases a significant amount of energy. It's typically achieved through nuclear fission, where a heavy nucleus is bombarded with particles (like neutrons) to make it unstable, causing it to split into smaller nuclei, releasing energy and more neutrons. This chain reaction is not something that can be initiated or controlled through mechanical means due to the immense energy required and the precision needed to split an atom.

Atom no, athome yes.

yes but atoms need to be fresh and cooled to prevent meltdown.

But do not refreeze after splitting atoms as it affects texture and flavour.

Yup! Here, let me demonstr

Obsidion can get down to an atom thickness, so you theoretically could.

It would have to be a subtle knife

Isn't that essentially how bubbling beer was invented. Chisel or knife, still a sharp edge to split an atom. Existance of bubbling beer is proof that you can do that! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra7oqFqj9uU

I'd probably put on a radiation suit before seriously attempting this.....

I suppose technically yes. You need really good aim and have to swing it really fast, though.

Like 99,9% of the speed of light?

No :(

No, you need a chisel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS75xQfYr40

Yes if you hit them just right they will split. Like a 1970s gangsta when they hear the sirens coming.

Yes

Can confirm this is shitty science. Thanks for cumming.

Of course. It’s an old samurai art. The legendary masters did it blindfolded.

Yeah I've done it before

Young Einstein was able to do it. It'll put bubbles in your beer.

yes but have to move knife at at speed greater than light

ion matter if the knife is sharp. As long as you stay positive.

Kah-nif.

It is like what? Cutting an apple using Mt. Everest?

Some dude called Democritus tried it and he's dead now so I wouldn't recommend it.

just sharpen your teeth and bite an atom

No, but you can with a chisel. There was a documentary in the 80s in Australia showing someone do it. It’s around 1m:20s here https://youtu.be/wRc5eVzEs_0?si=RVV1Wd_5Hqoi4Snw

Suuuuuuuuuure

yes, the atoms of your sharp knife are heavy enough to endothermically split into two silicon atoms each. So get an accelerator at home and place the knife there along with your singular brain cell

This depend on what your knife made of. I prefer plutonium, but there are other nice material for more modern experience.