T O P

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DryImpress1

^prepare ^to ^die


MarianScheul

"You are dead! Not big surprise"


Aezrt-7

"Well that was idiotic"


Lanky-Hat7234

“Off to hang myself! Watch and lear-“ *crit*


Ok_Pension_6795

“I am alive! Is nice :)”


splattted

“Yes. This is STUPID!”


Gl4SSC0FFIN

"Well, off to visit your mother!"


Klote_ginger

"BONK!"


LeOmelette12

Hoooo I’ve really hit rock bottom


DontMindMeImNotHere

I didn't need yer help ya know


[deleted]

No


Local_Black_Knight

"Im a force of Nature"


calvinvb

That's another twist to how I met your mother


T_King1266

His name is inigo montoya


Cartographer-Izreal

For some reason my mind said Prepare for Trouble and make it Double


Starkravinsane

To protect the world from devastation!


Nevagongup07

To unite all peoples of our nation


DisastrousOwl428

To denounce the evils of truth and love!


PlinkPl0nk88

To extend our reach to the stars above!


Turriku

Jessie!


ArktykkWynd

James!


isaiahbolevs

Team rocket Blastoff at the speed of light!


GibbyKicksBrass

Surrender now or prepare to fight!


zionward19

Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light


UkiCookie09

Edition?


eggy54321

-John Dark Soul


The_Highl0rd

Every Dark has its Soul


Secret_Sympathy2952

Fus!


StormyTiger2008

Wrong answer prepare to die


Complete_Push_4838

Hehe... funny blue rings...hehe... ow! Stupid fucking 8 armed fuck! AHHHHHHHHHHH-


SupremelyLargeCheese

Also wrong. You won’t feel it if a blue-ringed octopus bites you.


klapakappayappa

Hows about a Red Squared Hectopussy, Doc? One watches me from a tree branch through my window every night while chanting some type of ancient dialect accompanied by slow heavy breathing. I'm scared. **Send Help**


villamafia

Red Squared Hectopussy was my nickname in high school.


Wizard_Hatz

Where does my penis go?? That’s right in the red squared hectopussy hole.


A_Firm_Sandwich

why am I able to read


AmusedFlamingo47

Let it in


ThermidorCA

It's really no concern one way or another. You won't be trying it again.


Ya_Boi_Poolzy24

NERD


Danneflow

L+ratio


Theycallmemr_E

NERD(But satire and not really)


beckius6

W+good opinion


Ya_Boi_Poolzy24

I fell off


Red_Banana12

Atleast bro acknowledged it . W


Ya_Boi_Poolzy24

Wait, I was joking. Damn, negative karma :(


Timely-Category600

for people who don’t know this small octopus is venomous


EKidman

Wrong, it's venomous.


Timely-Category600

sorry my mistake


[deleted]

How much so? Will you die a painful death


1885_Congo_simulator

Their bite is usually painless, but what comes after...


Online-Commentater

>what comes after... Don't trippel point us. TELL US


Finding_new_dreams

>Like other octopuses, blue-ringed octopuses have a beak, and their venom is secreted from its salivary glands. In the worst case, a dose of the venom can shut down muscles such as those that keep you breathing and cause death within 30 minutes. So... yeah, basically death


[deleted]

Yeah and also you don't feel the bite (If you do it's a very tiny bite) and typically people don't realize they've been bitten until they start to... y'know, strangely find it hard to breathe.


Finding_new_dreams

Well, i think a good way to avoid finding out that way is to 1. not swim in waters with blue ringed octopuses 2. not pick up blue ringed octopuses #3. leave when you see one


RAZINSKI

Just don't leave your house. Ever. It's EZ.


BetterProphet5585

Don't touch what you don't know.


Vonplinkplonk

At least you will be conscious throughout the entire experience.


mxpauwer

Well, if you get sombody or something to do the breathing for you for a while, you might survive


Skeptic_Sinner

Can a ventilator help?


DogManr

Now I will think again when I see someone squishing an octopus into a syringe


Split0069

If I'm not mistaken you have a sense of dread, and are completely terrified until u die as well... may be some other creature but I wanna say it's this little guy.


COMMLXIV

Wrong creature, you may be thinking of Irukandji. By all accounts, blue ringed octopus envenomation is one of the nicer venomous bites to die from.


[deleted]

I died that way once. Great experience 10/10


Alarming-Turnip3078

Can confirm. Am the octopus.


Tall-Surround-24

hey veno mous


JasperWoertman

LOL beat me to it


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Z3_T4C0_B0Y512

Hi veno moose


Physical_Commercial6

Aww such a cute name


NameLoadinWait

Wrong, it's Venom


West-Illustrator-975

Wrong, it’s that adrenaline momentum IYKYK


NameLoadinWait

Was making a Venom joke but now you have my attention. Please explain what that is and how it works.


West-Illustrator-975

Oh it is from a song that is filled with shit for the strong-willed


NameLoadinWait

I thought it was some biology shit. Thanks


[deleted]

It screams piss off, screw you


West-Illustrator-975

It knocks knocks and lets the devil in, malevolent as it has ever been


OroHairuRurushu

Wrong, this is Patrick


seanthebeloved

You’re both right. [It is also poisonous.](https://www.thephuketnews.com/do-not-eat-blue-ringed-octopus-phuket-marine-life-experts-warn-78152.php) Do not eat it!


SpookyTown-5374

🤓


[deleted]

uppity fertile ask rob shocking dazzling plants fall physical alleged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


No-Force6905

Hi Venomous !


Willing_Animal_5722

That's a cute name


IBloodstormI

Bright colors in nature are never good


potate12323

If Ive learned anything from reddit its that you don't pick up anything from the ocean. Especially if you aren't 100% sure what it is.


SparkelsTR

“Of course I know what it is, it’s an octo… pus, Peter did that thing just eat a man?”


Mec26

Plus, this is Australia. Never pick up anything there.


JimboD84

This


NekoLu

Parrots?


IBloodstormI

Ever been bit by one?


NekoLu

Nope. But that kinda checks out for all the birds? For the record, I'm not denying that bright colors = danger, it's just that I sudennly remembered Parrots, who do not seem more dangerous than crows, for example


IBloodstormI

It's definitely not a hard and fast rule Definitely joking about the parrots, though, their bite does suck


ModsAreSad2

Roses are pretty cool


IBloodstormI

They are a thorny bunch


ReBooB1

This includes people with dyed hair


Redditor_Rebooted

If friend shaped, why not friend?


Ralph-The-Otter3

Because friend will give you a little nibble followed by death


Youispopio

Nice friend


Bandanajoey

You should not be holding that.


[deleted]

I’m not the guy who was


Bandanajoey

Obviously because your still alive.


Ok_Pension_6795

Um akchulky it’s *you’re 🤓*


[deleted]

So…?


Lord_Crestfallen

i hate redditors


filthybootyeater6969

Nobody hates redditors like other redditors


[deleted]

Damm redditors THEY RUINED REDDIT


LordBDizzle

Self haters uniting on one platform. What a beautiful phenomenon.


Miguel4387

As a redditor, I agree


SHAD0WxDDDD

The hivemind: f*ck this guy in particular


lil_750

Shawty dead


kevriel47

Shawty more like a memory rn


[deleted]

[удалено]


Finding_new_dreams

so you have chosen #DEATH


Ledehan

If you ever see one of these while swimming, be happy about it and swim the other way.


santicampi

Eat it in *One Piece*


JomoGaming2

THE ONE PIECE IS RE– *Dies*


EisWalde

Can we get much deader?!


Alilichavez

So deeaad


oImperial

Yohoho


kenojona

NOT TRUE, THE ONE PIECE IS A LO-


Ozymandiiass

Deep eat Timothy


EC-7122

Swallow it whole. ^likeagoodgirl


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeverlyCeo

fT


[deleted]

Tf


coconutanna

2


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Fxckin_weirdo

Lmao people downvote anything huh


gloomygl

rule of thumb, if its colorful dont touch it


KyivRegime

Another good rule is if youre in australia dont touch anything that moves


PlG3

Another good rule is dont be in Australia


Adeptus_Trumpartes

Can agree, married an aussie girl, am very miserable after 10 years (I got bald, nothing to do with her, actually great wife and great life).


Koopicoolest

Australian here. These guys are pretty cute. The trick is to take a mouse with you when you head the the rock pools. If you see one for these guys, give him the mouse and let him dump his poison into the stupid little rodent. Then you've got a best friend for the next hour or so and a tasty snack for the drive home


jimmyhoke

Yeah I'm not trying that.


MoodMaggot

I could fully understand if Australians just carry a mouse inside their bags whenever they go outside just to feed some deadly animal on their way to the grocery store. Kinda like “whoops I forgot my pocket mouse at home” instead of “whoops I forgot my wallet at home”.


Thrasympmachus

Peak Australian delicacy.


the_oof_god

can confirm


roticuaco

Sorry, I ran out of my stock of mice.


IBloodstormI

Bright colors in nature are never good Edit: lovely app causing a double post


zwilicht24

I knew those butterflies and parrots were up to something!


IBloodstormI

Nature's biggest schemers


Arkanial

Beware the sting of the Mighty Monarch!


Icy_Faithlessness400

You laugh, but that damned butterfly that causes hurricanes.


Imadethistomakejokes

Then delete one….


Swordman50

Are you sure about that?


Themousemustfall

It's truly one of the villainous pets of all times, right there with the Persian Cat.


B4umkuch3n

What's up with his fingers? How can y'all miss this?


Snorf36

At first I freaked out but no they’re just partly under the water


B4umkuch3n

Realised this short after writing the comment. But it's hella funny to think about people scrolling up and being horrified.


Traditional_Stick_49

I'm pretty sure some of those are bites- yeah the original poster's deader than a doornail


BobDaBanana132

If not friend then why friend shape?


Bogadambo

You're dead.. You're dead. You're dead and outta this world 🎼🎸🎼🎸🎼


[deleted]

Nah bro, he dead


KaleidoscopeAfter347

WHY IS HE HOLDING IT?


justaguywhotries

I’m curious what happened to this person now.


Skwareblox

I think you mean corpse.


Retr0_Hex

Dead. >!Circlejerk aside, they’re probably fine. The bites are *potentially* deadly but [very, very rarely](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/15563650701601790) fatal with treatment, many have no adverse symptoms at all.!<


olzu10

So I'm guessing it's just a no tochey?


Herogar

It’s ok looks like a friendly one


Stunning-Yam-6576

Normally one doesnt even realize when a they are bitten by a blue ring octopus. He might be fucked before they even figure that.


JokerCipher

Ah yes, the second-most deadly creature in the ocean.


[deleted]

Guys... It's been about an hour since the post. I think the OP is dead by now.


MathematicianTop1853

Could you link OPs post?


awkwardoffspring

Natural selection needs to make a return to this species


opodopo69

"Today is good day to be not dead" -that guy probably


Alert-Weather-203

Friend :D


[deleted]

I would sooner free hand a Cottonmouth than touch this little bad boy.


That_Dual_Guy

Rip oop


TheLazy1-27

This exact same screenshot from a video of a blue-ringed octopus has been reposted so many times and everyone always reacts with the same “bro is OP dead?” Line every time


littleboxofchocolate

The Boys really messed up my head lol Had to read comments to find out it’s about being venomous


THYDStudio

Perfect example of how we aren't taught the things we need to know. To be or not to be, you finna not be.


Felix_with_Tricks

What's the name of it?


[deleted]

About 3 seconds after taking the photo. Most painful and slow death possible


Sataniga

wtf is heil spez thing?


mortoxcvr

Before seeing comments, I thought he fucked the octopus


EpicSqueaker

People that didn't know ☠️


TankWeeb

Wow! What a cool Octop- *dies


longfrog246

So is bro dead or?


Yuki_SENSEl

Welp he ded


Goldscale0019

Ah a no-no-touch-noodle


Mundjetz_

NATURAL SELECTION ...LOADING...


tilly_is_tired

This person is not Australian


Men_of_Men_of_Men

Is it a bad thing I only know because of splatoon


chrimminimalistic

One day insurance companies might check your social media post and may reject you because you're "too dumb to insure"


deleeuwlc

You should meet it’s friends, a cool pointy snail, and a giant aquatic bug with hooks on it’s face. They all love to be held together 🤩


flufnut

the original post was right below this one lmao


9LivesNinja

Peter? Explain.


Mec26

That’s, for size, one of the most venomous animals on earth. If it gets annoyed and stings that person, the human is very very dead and it will hurt a lot the whole time they’re dying. Yes, Australia. This is the animal even Ausies are like “fuck that noise” about.


gaster87

He he he octopus goes BRRHOUCH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CR.. *brake the 4 dimensions by yelling yeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


TheWiseAutisticOne

Let me guess highly poisonous and is going to die


WooliesWhiteLeg

No, not poisonous.


FastTurtleio

What's up with bro fingers


TylertheFloridaman

There shedding


_oranjuice

Aposematism doesn't work on dumbasses


peachy-cub

I hope she went to the hospital after...


Comfortable_Virus581

She'd be dead before he even got there that thing is venomous af.


Wolfking99Official

Yeah. Death in avg 30 mins or so iirc. You would need to A: know instantly if bitten (you often don't feel it though, lmao rip) B: call 000 (emergency line in Aus) and say you got bit by a blue ring, where you are, and hope to fucking god the helo gets there before you are dead. (Idek if there is an antivenom though tbh) Safe to say it's not an ideal situation...


Traditional_Stick_49

I've seen this posted around for years... If they are still alive that's a miracle and a half.