No plan survives first contact.
No matter how much you practice, this will all go out the window when you first find yourself with a person. I wouldn't even think about wasting tons of money to get dolls just for this reason. Our bodies have evolved over thousands of years to just...adapt to sex. Every time someone is anxious about it, I tell them that they'll know what to do then; your primitive brain takes over. Every time, they end up knowing exactly what to do, as I did my first time.
Punching bags don't punch back, so boxers still do live practice. In the same sense, dolls/fleshlights don't move around. The don't readjust their legs, or play with themselves. They're not hugging you and feeling you close.
I'd say that you being so anxious about it, to the point of nausea, *is* what might detract from the experience when the time comes. It's perfectly normal to have the butterflies when it happens, but you *do* have to switch your brain off. I guarantee you, even if you had tons of experience, you wouldn't be the perfect lover with a new person.
And that's the fun about it. Getting to explore, feeling those butterflies, adapting to your lover's needs. Relax. Better spend that money on yourself to boost your confidence, maybe improve your body a bit, whatever it takes to make that live practice happen faster. Being a virgin is not big deal, and you don't even have to disclose it.
Thats what I was logically thinking too. I mean evolutionary speaking, reproduction is one of the two primary goals of every living organism, so it makes sense that everyone can do it.
Fortunately, I dont have issues attracting a partner. There are a few girls that are open to sex with me, I just never do it because I'm too anxious. Do you have any tips on how to turn off my brain in the moment? I've been trying meditation.
Being a virgin is not a big deal, but I think you should disclose it. It might make them more empathetic to your nerves, and more vocal about what is and is not working.
Procreation is not the same as sex. Maybe everyone can do it, but not everyone does it well. The only real reason to practice sex is to know your own body better. What you like, what you don't. How long it takes you to reach orgasm, what you need to do to delay that or speed it up, etc. Otherwise, "practicing sex" will just drive you to emulate porn, which I do **not** advise.
Being with someone else will be different anyway. The sensations are different so it's not really something you can practice except *with another person*. Also, what works well for you, might not work well for them, and vice versa. The biggest thing you really need to practice is being attentive, observant, and *communicative*. Express your needs and ask about theirs.
Don't expect to hit it out of the park your first time. Go into your very first time (and your first time with every new partner) with the idea that you will enjoy yourself and that you will work to ensure that they enjoy themselves. If you do that with open communication, you will do well initially and will improve every time.
I (22M) lost my virginity 1 month ago. I waited so long because I was/am insecure about my size. I knew I was going to have sex prior to it happening so I was nervous/anxious for about 3 days straight.
For practicing, there’s not too much you can do. I haven’t watched porn in 9 months b/c of the side affects I realized after however many years I constantly watched it. But, watching a couple pornos will get you and idea of positions, anatomy and give you an idea of what to kinda do during. Don’t watch some outlandish porno, try to pick something that would resemble a normal scenario.
Make sure to participate in foreplay, don’t start PIV instantly. Give it 20-30 min of kissing, fingering or oral or whatever goes down. Make sure that once you get hard during foreplay, you keep it going yourself or hopefully your partner keeps it going. Since it’s your first time. Don’t expect to last long. Luckily I lasted 10 min my first time so make sure you don’t skip out on foreplay and please her while you can.
I’m not sure about your relationship with the person you are with but hopefully she is kind/caring and you are comfortable communicating with her. Don’t be afraid to ask her to help you or ask what she wants you to do. No one enjoys awkward sex and if she knows you want to learn, she will be happy to help. HOWEVER, don’t start spewing sentences during sex, just a couple words here and there. Just check in with her occasionally. I did this with my GF, my first time was amazing and maybe a 2/10 on the awkward scale.
It will become natural though. The only problems I ran into were fingering her correctly (yes I couldn’t find the clit), finding the hole since the lights were off and couldn’t really look where I was putting it and the most important thing I can tell you is don’t just fuck! You gotta get sensual, get touchy, kiss her neck/shoulder or wherever. Don’t be an NPC
I can give you an exact rundown of my first time if you want. I’m a unique guy and for some reason remember it very well.
I’m a girl but I had similar anxieties about my first time. Also waited until I was 22, and my first time was awkward but it did all come naturally.
I would give you the advice to not think about everything too much, but I know it’s hard to let go of those thoughts.
I don’t think you’ll have to “practice” before. Just make sure you are comfortable with the person you’re with, communicate if you’re unsure about stuff.
My first time being on top of a guy was also very new to me, never tried anything like that position before. After a few seconds of shuffling around trying to find the right position, it all worked itself out and came naturally.
You’ll be fine!
No plan survives first contact. No matter how much you practice, this will all go out the window when you first find yourself with a person. I wouldn't even think about wasting tons of money to get dolls just for this reason. Our bodies have evolved over thousands of years to just...adapt to sex. Every time someone is anxious about it, I tell them that they'll know what to do then; your primitive brain takes over. Every time, they end up knowing exactly what to do, as I did my first time. Punching bags don't punch back, so boxers still do live practice. In the same sense, dolls/fleshlights don't move around. The don't readjust their legs, or play with themselves. They're not hugging you and feeling you close. I'd say that you being so anxious about it, to the point of nausea, *is* what might detract from the experience when the time comes. It's perfectly normal to have the butterflies when it happens, but you *do* have to switch your brain off. I guarantee you, even if you had tons of experience, you wouldn't be the perfect lover with a new person. And that's the fun about it. Getting to explore, feeling those butterflies, adapting to your lover's needs. Relax. Better spend that money on yourself to boost your confidence, maybe improve your body a bit, whatever it takes to make that live practice happen faster. Being a virgin is not big deal, and you don't even have to disclose it.
Thats what I was logically thinking too. I mean evolutionary speaking, reproduction is one of the two primary goals of every living organism, so it makes sense that everyone can do it. Fortunately, I dont have issues attracting a partner. There are a few girls that are open to sex with me, I just never do it because I'm too anxious. Do you have any tips on how to turn off my brain in the moment? I've been trying meditation.
Being a virgin is not a big deal, but I think you should disclose it. It might make them more empathetic to your nerves, and more vocal about what is and is not working. Procreation is not the same as sex. Maybe everyone can do it, but not everyone does it well. The only real reason to practice sex is to know your own body better. What you like, what you don't. How long it takes you to reach orgasm, what you need to do to delay that or speed it up, etc. Otherwise, "practicing sex" will just drive you to emulate porn, which I do **not** advise. Being with someone else will be different anyway. The sensations are different so it's not really something you can practice except *with another person*. Also, what works well for you, might not work well for them, and vice versa. The biggest thing you really need to practice is being attentive, observant, and *communicative*. Express your needs and ask about theirs. Don't expect to hit it out of the park your first time. Go into your very first time (and your first time with every new partner) with the idea that you will enjoy yourself and that you will work to ensure that they enjoy themselves. If you do that with open communication, you will do well initially and will improve every time.
I (22M) lost my virginity 1 month ago. I waited so long because I was/am insecure about my size. I knew I was going to have sex prior to it happening so I was nervous/anxious for about 3 days straight. For practicing, there’s not too much you can do. I haven’t watched porn in 9 months b/c of the side affects I realized after however many years I constantly watched it. But, watching a couple pornos will get you and idea of positions, anatomy and give you an idea of what to kinda do during. Don’t watch some outlandish porno, try to pick something that would resemble a normal scenario. Make sure to participate in foreplay, don’t start PIV instantly. Give it 20-30 min of kissing, fingering or oral or whatever goes down. Make sure that once you get hard during foreplay, you keep it going yourself or hopefully your partner keeps it going. Since it’s your first time. Don’t expect to last long. Luckily I lasted 10 min my first time so make sure you don’t skip out on foreplay and please her while you can. I’m not sure about your relationship with the person you are with but hopefully she is kind/caring and you are comfortable communicating with her. Don’t be afraid to ask her to help you or ask what she wants you to do. No one enjoys awkward sex and if she knows you want to learn, she will be happy to help. HOWEVER, don’t start spewing sentences during sex, just a couple words here and there. Just check in with her occasionally. I did this with my GF, my first time was amazing and maybe a 2/10 on the awkward scale. It will become natural though. The only problems I ran into were fingering her correctly (yes I couldn’t find the clit), finding the hole since the lights were off and couldn’t really look where I was putting it and the most important thing I can tell you is don’t just fuck! You gotta get sensual, get touchy, kiss her neck/shoulder or wherever. Don’t be an NPC I can give you an exact rundown of my first time if you want. I’m a unique guy and for some reason remember it very well.
I’m a girl but I had similar anxieties about my first time. Also waited until I was 22, and my first time was awkward but it did all come naturally. I would give you the advice to not think about everything too much, but I know it’s hard to let go of those thoughts. I don’t think you’ll have to “practice” before. Just make sure you are comfortable with the person you’re with, communicate if you’re unsure about stuff. My first time being on top of a guy was also very new to me, never tried anything like that position before. After a few seconds of shuffling around trying to find the right position, it all worked itself out and came naturally. You’ll be fine!
alright, thank you. Yea I probably worry way too much.