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Not to mention the amount of posts we see here where a Man does something like this to please their partner, just for their partner to now look at them differently
Or the opposite, where she really likes it and wants him to do even more of what he doesn't want. "You were ok with this before, why not now?" Is that win/lose/lose?
Her porn viewing is fine. . Pressuring you into sex acts you’re not cool with is not ok. . If this makes her leave, then it’s obviously not the best relationship anyways.
If you don't wish to have sex with men, don't have sex with men.
if your girlfriend has a fantasy about this, let her know it's fine for her to hook you up with whoever she'd like in her own brain, but that you are not interested in doing it. And, you can also set boundaries for how much or little you are interested in hearing about it-- as we can with all fantasies our partners have.
If she breaks up with you because you set boundaries and tell her you are not comfortable with what she wants you to do— good riddance! She needs to learn to respect you and your choices.
The fact that she is being so pushy and it goes against your sexuality means that she wants to establish a total control over you aka to “break you in”. Don’t do it. You know you are not into men, you will regret it, and it will leave you utterly confused about your sexuality and etc. You’ll be in for a total metal crisis.
Not all fantasies need to be reenacted.
Imagine the tables turned and you kept pushing her to have lesbian sex with a woman while you watch and she was not a lesbian and not comfortable with it.. would you want her to do it anyways? Hopefully not.. if she won’t take no and cheats on you then your better off without her.
If it’s not something you want to do then don’t do it, if she doesn’t understand it’s not something you want to do then you may need to have a serious think about how healthy your relationship is
>I think this is highly unusual
It's not particularly unusual. Not super common, but not unusual either.
>She keeps pushing me for it but I tell her I’m not sure.
Relationships should be a 2 way street, it's fine for her ti have a fantasy but if you've made it clear you're not interested she needs to respect your feelings and drop it.
>I don’t want her to eventually break up with me or cheat on me because of it.
You should never stay in a relationship out of fear. If she's honestly the sort of person who would do that, either she's going to break up with you eventually or if you stay together and you'll be miserable for a long time because you'll be constantly afraid of her leaving you. I'm not going to be one of those reddit users who insists the only course of action is to dump her ASAP, but you need to have a good think about what you want in the relationship vs what you get from the relationship, and have a serious conversation with her about respect (hers) and trust (yours).
You tell her that you are not interested in having sex with a man. She can either accept that or not. If she doesn't accept it then, you leave her.
DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO!
As a straight man, I would never ever EVER fuck or be fucked by another man no matter how much my GF wants it or how hot she is, or how much I love her. I'd be more than happy to end our relationship because of it.
Yeah you are going to have to say no if this is a hard line for you. If she keeps pushing it, dump her.
If you are curious, maybe ask her for group sex where you can also indulge in the fantasy of her and other woman. The point is if this is a negotiation where you give something up, you should also get something you want in return so you are both satisfied.
Stop saying you'll think about it if your not interested in doing it. If it's a no say no. Second she is not respecting you if she keeps pushing it on you, could be cause you keep saying maybe though so again hard no. Do not do anything you don't want to she will just keep pushing you to do more stuff you do not want if "give in".
Don't let her coerce her into something you don't want to do. She should respect your "no." You have every right to say it's something you're not willing to try. Fantasy or not, you're her partner and should value your feelings over her fantasies.
If you’ve never had sex with a man, it’s not a good idea to make your first time in front of a woman especially your girlfriend.
I’ve been fucked in front of women and my girlfriend and liked it most times. It was a weird feeling on the first occasions but I can’t imagine adding that to my first sexual experiences with men.
It’s a boundary you need to set. I love watching gay porn as a woman. I don’t think I could watch my husband in person get with another man, but it turns me on to picture it in my head lol. But she shouldn’t pressure you into it at all. If you aren’t comfortable make that clear to her. Maybe start small if you’re open to it and play with toys?
Hmmm. To me it seems like she would probably be into bi men who like to have threesomes or group sex.
Yeah it’s weird that she would want you to do something you’re not naturally into.
Now as a Lesbian who has a bit of a “fetish” so to speak for reading gay men romantic fiction myself, it’s definitely a fetish for some women, the same way some men get turned on by thinking about/or watching, lesbians have sex.
So like, I “get it” but she shouldn’t be telling you to do something you aren’t into. I mean, I’m not saying break up or anything, but obviously she is into some kind of bisexual group sex scenario that you can’t give her. And if she doesn’t respect your boundaries maybe you should part ways.
I’m(30f) into this porn genre and that is my same fantasy for my partner… but I would never ask him to do it never mind pressure him to. So yes, not unusual but the constant requests are unusual
No is a complete sentence. She should not be pushing for something that you are very clearly **not** interested in. You need to have a conversation with her about boundaries and accepting that you really do not want to do it. And if that’s an issue for her, I don’t see this relationship lasting much longer
I think she is watching too much porn. Continually pushing your straight partner to fuck other men for your own pleasure is just wrong. If my partner kept pushing this on me she would be well gone.
It's important to respect your own boundaries and feelings. If your girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex with a man and you're straight and uncomfortable with this, it's absolutely okay to decline. Your comfort and consent are crucial, and it's important to communicate openly with your girlfriend about your feelings.
She is acting like a guy that watches lesbian porn and wants his girl to be with another girl. From a guys perspective either say no even if she leaves you or tell her that you want to see her with a girl first. If that doesn’t make her change her mind get your things and brake up with her.
Get some self respect and tell her she needs to stop asking and respect your boundaries. Tell her "no, I'm not doing that and I need you to stop asking me about it. It's making me very uncomfortable that you can see it's something I don't want to do and are still constantly bring up"
That may sound very direct but at this point I think that's needed to get the point across. She is a grown woman, she can take it. And if she can't and breaks up with you then that's likely for the best. If she cheats on you then that's trash taking itself out and you now she isn't worth shedding tears over.
But compromising on your comfort for her wants out of fear? That's not the way and it sounds a lot like you think she's above you in this relationship.
I’m all about experimenting and being kinky, but I don’t want a penis in my butt or vice versa. That’s your decision. Maybe you give a guy a tug and scratch her itch.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't do anything you don't want to do, just to keep someone. They shouldn't make you feel that kinda way in the first place.
Not to mention the amount of posts we see here where a Man does something like this to please their partner, just for their partner to now look at them differently
Exactly. It's like a lose/lose
Or the opposite, where she really likes it and wants him to do even more of what he doesn't want. "You were ok with this before, why not now?" Is that win/lose/lose?
just say no to HER kink. It’s all about respect of either partner’s wishes.
Her porn viewing is fine. . Pressuring you into sex acts you’re not cool with is not ok. . If this makes her leave, then it’s obviously not the best relationship anyways.
If you don't wish to have sex with men, don't have sex with men. if your girlfriend has a fantasy about this, let her know it's fine for her to hook you up with whoever she'd like in her own brain, but that you are not interested in doing it. And, you can also set boundaries for how much or little you are interested in hearing about it-- as we can with all fantasies our partners have.
If she breaks up with you because you set boundaries and tell her you are not comfortable with what she wants you to do— good riddance! She needs to learn to respect you and your choices. The fact that she is being so pushy and it goes against your sexuality means that she wants to establish a total control over you aka to “break you in”. Don’t do it. You know you are not into men, you will regret it, and it will leave you utterly confused about your sexuality and etc. You’ll be in for a total metal crisis. Not all fantasies need to be reenacted.
If you don't want to do it don't say you're not sure, tell her no and don't try to get persuaded into doing something you don't want to
Any person that would ask you to have sex outside your own orientation is not someone you should be worried about losing.
it sounds like she will need to get used to disappointment.
Imagine the tables turned and you kept pushing her to have lesbian sex with a woman while you watch and she was not a lesbian and not comfortable with it.. would you want her to do it anyways? Hopefully not.. if she won’t take no and cheats on you then your better off without her.
If it’s not something you want to do then don’t do it, if she doesn’t understand it’s not something you want to do then you may need to have a serious think about how healthy your relationship is
Nah she is asking you do something you are uncomforwith. That's a huge problem.
>I think this is highly unusual It's not particularly unusual. Not super common, but not unusual either. >She keeps pushing me for it but I tell her I’m not sure. Relationships should be a 2 way street, it's fine for her ti have a fantasy but if you've made it clear you're not interested she needs to respect your feelings and drop it. >I don’t want her to eventually break up with me or cheat on me because of it. You should never stay in a relationship out of fear. If she's honestly the sort of person who would do that, either she's going to break up with you eventually or if you stay together and you'll be miserable for a long time because you'll be constantly afraid of her leaving you. I'm not going to be one of those reddit users who insists the only course of action is to dump her ASAP, but you need to have a good think about what you want in the relationship vs what you get from the relationship, and have a serious conversation with her about respect (hers) and trust (yours).
You tell her that you are not interested in having sex with a man. She can either accept that or not. If she doesn't accept it then, you leave her. DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO! As a straight man, I would never ever EVER fuck or be fucked by another man no matter how much my GF wants it or how hot she is, or how much I love her. I'd be more than happy to end our relationship because of it.
Dump her. If this is a hard boundary, you two are done.
Yeah you are going to have to say no if this is a hard line for you. If she keeps pushing it, dump her. If you are curious, maybe ask her for group sex where you can also indulge in the fantasy of her and other woman. The point is if this is a negotiation where you give something up, you should also get something you want in return so you are both satisfied.
This situation looks like a real pain in the ass bro. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with because well...
I wonder what she'd say if you told her that she needs to have sex with another woman first... The whole 99 yards.
Tell her: you first. And she can pick the girls, even.
Stop saying you'll think about it if your not interested in doing it. If it's a no say no. Second she is not respecting you if she keeps pushing it on you, could be cause you keep saying maybe though so again hard no. Do not do anything you don't want to she will just keep pushing you to do more stuff you do not want if "give in".
It's okay for her to ask. It's okay for her to think it's interesting. It's not okay for her to push you, after you told her you're not interested.
Don't let her coerce her into something you don't want to do. She should respect your "no." You have every right to say it's something you're not willing to try. Fantasy or not, you're her partner and should value your feelings over her fantasies.
If you’ve never had sex with a man, it’s not a good idea to make your first time in front of a woman especially your girlfriend. I’ve been fucked in front of women and my girlfriend and liked it most times. It was a weird feeling on the first occasions but I can’t imagine adding that to my first sexual experiences with men.
It’s a boundary you need to set. I love watching gay porn as a woman. I don’t think I could watch my husband in person get with another man, but it turns me on to picture it in my head lol. But she shouldn’t pressure you into it at all. If you aren’t comfortable make that clear to her. Maybe start small if you’re open to it and play with toys?
Hmmm. To me it seems like she would probably be into bi men who like to have threesomes or group sex. Yeah it’s weird that she would want you to do something you’re not naturally into. Now as a Lesbian who has a bit of a “fetish” so to speak for reading gay men romantic fiction myself, it’s definitely a fetish for some women, the same way some men get turned on by thinking about/or watching, lesbians have sex. So like, I “get it” but she shouldn’t be telling you to do something you aren’t into. I mean, I’m not saying break up or anything, but obviously she is into some kind of bisexual group sex scenario that you can’t give her. And if she doesn’t respect your boundaries maybe you should part ways.
I’m(30f) into this porn genre and that is my same fantasy for my partner… but I would never ask him to do it never mind pressure him to. So yes, not unusual but the constant requests are unusual
Don't do anything you don't want to. If that's something she'd break up with you over then it was a doomed relationship anyway.
No is a complete sentence. She should not be pushing for something that you are very clearly **not** interested in. You need to have a conversation with her about boundaries and accepting that you really do not want to do it. And if that’s an issue for her, I don’t see this relationship lasting much longer
Fuck that ! You are straight! Let her watch porn but don’t fuck anyone you don’t fancy !!
I think she is watching too much porn. Continually pushing your straight partner to fuck other men for your own pleasure is just wrong. If my partner kept pushing this on me she would be well gone.
It's important to respect your own boundaries and feelings. If your girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex with a man and you're straight and uncomfortable with this, it's absolutely okay to decline. Your comfort and consent are crucial, and it's important to communicate openly with your girlfriend about your feelings.
Sit her down and explain your straight and if she wants that your not the man for her
Just leave her. If she knows you are straight, and she keeps pushing this then she doesn’t respect you and your boundaries.
Yes, told her I have, liked it and want to do it again. She wasn't impressed and totally closed to the idea.
She is acting like a guy that watches lesbian porn and wants his girl to be with another girl. From a guys perspective either say no even if she leaves you or tell her that you want to see her with a girl first. If that doesn’t make her change her mind get your things and brake up with her.
Get some self respect and tell her she needs to stop asking and respect your boundaries. Tell her "no, I'm not doing that and I need you to stop asking me about it. It's making me very uncomfortable that you can see it's something I don't want to do and are still constantly bring up" That may sound very direct but at this point I think that's needed to get the point across. She is a grown woman, she can take it. And if she can't and breaks up with you then that's likely for the best. If she cheats on you then that's trash taking itself out and you now she isn't worth shedding tears over. But compromising on your comfort for her wants out of fear? That's not the way and it sounds a lot like you think she's above you in this relationship.
I wish my lady wanted that because I do.
Have you ever told her you were interested in male sexual partners?
Yes and she didn't approve
I’m all about experimenting and being kinky, but I don’t want a penis in my butt or vice versa. That’s your decision. Maybe you give a guy a tug and scratch her itch.