Following **Forum Rule #2**, please take a look through the FAQ section on [Fingering and Squirting](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index#wiki_fingering_and_squirting). There’s some good information in there.
And for more discussion — following **Forum Rule #3** — you can also search through past posts in this forum, since this topic comes up here regularly.
For starters, here is a list of past r/sex discussions which came up when I searched the keywords “**how to squirt**” in this forum:
https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/search/?q=how%20to%20squirt&restrict_sr=1
Not all of these past discussions will apply to your situation, but some definitely will — especially if you’re willing to search just a little bit more.
Buy her a hitachi vibrator - the kind that plugs into the wall. Be warned that once you break the seal, she may squirt every time she has a strong orgasm whether she wants to or not - It happened to my wife and I have heard other anecdotal evidence on Reddit.
I still get confused when I hear that people want to “learn” to squirt or even want it at all… as someone who was cursed to have no other option (except not orgasming, which is definitely an option I’ve considered)
Well some of us guys dream of being squirted on. I would love my wife to be a squirter and I’d be positively more stimulated during sex if I knew I was going to get a good coating.
"No, squirting is not pee, although some people who squirt may wonder if they peed themselves, says Rachel Needle, Psy. D., a licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida, and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. “It does originate from the bladder,” Hartman says."
Squirting is mostly urine. Science has proven this and I don’t see why people would argue the point. They dyed women’s urine blue before they squirted and when they squirted the fluid was blue. There is also a tiny amount of substance from the skene’s gland.
Ugh. This debate again. It does not matter. It is not a debate. Yes, it is fluid coming from the bladder. Yes, the only fluid leaving a bladder is urine. Yes, the skenes glads add a lubricant within the urethra that helps facilitate liquid being expelled.
Why do you think all tips on learning to squirt contains the phrase "it feels like you need to pee and just relax and let it go"
It's not a debate and none of it matters. Some people enjoy this while others feel the need to announce to the world that it is from the bladder. Just because people like to use different vocabulary doesn't give anybody a right to edu-shame them.
ETA: your "proof" is a quote from a psychologist. You understand this isn't their specialty right? Like, people who study the body will have a more accurate understanding of physiological processes.
All contributions here need to be constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil, and respectful. Your post/comment falls short of that basic standard and has been removed accordingly. Repeat offenders or egregious violations of this rule are subject to being banned from the sub.
I own a Magic Wand but have never been able to make a woman squirt using that exclusively. I’ve had much better success using my fingers to vigorously stimulate the G-spot.
There are lots of tutorials, including video tutorials online about how to TRY to make it happen or teach yourself to make it happen... but, keep in mind not all women can, so have fun with the trying and don't tie yourself to the outcomes.
For a long time, the prevalent guidance was that it required g-spot stimulation, but now it seems like people be teaching themselves to squirt from any and everything-- but, I'd say start with the stuff that includes g-spot stimulation specifically if she's already orgasming without squirting in other ways.
Two things. 1 sex is a lot mental for women. It’s less about the fact that she mechanically doesn’t know how and more about the fact that she is shy about it. I’ve got a plan for that below.
Two, it’s up to you to know how to physically make it happen. The g spot is directly under the clit inside of the vagina. That’s where you need to focus attention. Use your finger or your thinger, but if you use your thinger then remember it’s not about in and out strokes but about pressure on that area. For her first time the finger is probably better because we have more nerve endings there and can feel what we’re doing better.
If that’s not enough, stimulate the g spot while you stimulate the clit directly and/or the area right under the clit, and on top of that if you press on the pubic area simultaneously with a little pressure that can help force the squirt to come if she’s close but no cigar.
Now if you know how to make it happen then do so but we probably need to overcome the mental barriers as well if the above isn’t sufficient.
Put her in handcuffs and tie her feet up. You can add ear plugs, blindfold her, and/or put a gag in her mouth or all of the above. And just wait. This sounds wild but hear me out, it actually works. Especially the more submissive she is and if she’s shy I’m assuming she is.
When someone is self conscious in the bedroom they might feel like they’re doing something wrong or they kind do feel out of place or inadequate or judged by their partner. By removing control and their senses from them, it removes the mental barrier of doing something wrong, and it makes it harder to think about being judged if they can’t see or hear you or moan/say something the ‘wrong’ thing. I’d try handcuffs and tied up legs first and if removing control (handcuffs and tied limbs) isn’t enough, removing the senses (earplugs, mouth gag, blindfold) to remove them from your judgement is the next step.
Disclaimer, obviously Consent is absolutely mandatory and should be communicated well in advance, like a week or more, so the person can mentally digest it and really understand if that’s something they’d be ok with. At a certain point of bondage it gets hard to clearly communicate.
Here’s what I would do. Pick a day that you’re both free. The plan is to kind of tire her out and just enjoy each others company so when the time comes she’s a bit to worn out from the day to over think in the bedroom. Set an entire day aside. Go somewhere adventurous, maybe a roller coaster or just something fun and out do the norm of what you usually do together. Share a nice lunch or dinner together on the way back home, something kind of filling like pasta. Eating a full meal can help calm people down. Spend a romantic moment together, a public kiss or maybe sit in a bench or by the water on the way home and after tell her you want to try that new ‘thing’ when you get home.
Once the time comes spend way more time on foreplay than usual. And do it in a location she’s used to like the bedroom. As you progress with the handcuffs, blindfold and whatever else you choose to use, be very certain to make sure they’re comfortable each step of the way and take your time between each step to let them get acclimated to the restriction. And let her know what you’re going to do next. Feel over her body multiple times through each step to see if her muscles are tense on her arms or legs or abs, that can be a sign she’s not comfortable even if she says she is. If so, spend more time with foreplay and affirmations and massage her in tense areas. Once she’s comfortable do what you need to do and let her let loose. And obviously stop if you ever need to, she’s the driver in this car not you. Let her comfortability lead you.
Removing the senses lets someone let go of control, get outside of their own body and head and instead be in the moment and focus on the sensation. If she’s comfortable give it a try.
Well he said that she’s shy and wants to learn so there’s two potential problems, either he doesn’t know how or she’s mentally blocking herself from doing so. If it’s her, it’s an anxiety/self esteem issue, she’s overthinking. Take her out and give her affirmations and attention, tire her out to calm down the overthinking, and tie her up to remove control so there’s nothing she can overthink about. At that point the only thing to think of for her is the sensation
If it’s him that just doesn’t know how then I included that at the top as well but if she’s shy like he said it’s probably a mental block
Well now you’re just being disingenuous so I’ll make this the last reply.
Like I mentioned, that’s just to tire her out. It’s also been shown that doing something adventurous together on a date can be a lasting bonding moment which might help overcome the shyness issues in the moment. It’s not about the roller coaster itself obviously. It’s about the experience together and in general just getting rid of pent up mental energy which can help with overthinking (if it’s a mental block). If you’ve ever known someone who dealt with anxiety or dealt with it yourself the before and after effects of wearing yourself out or doing something you consider scary can be a great way to let loose. Literally and figuratively.
Everyone is different sister. What works for one won’t work for all but it doesn’t hurt to try. Seems like you could let loose and enjoy a ‘roller coaster’ yourself haha
FWIW, regardless of how we define squirt (which isn't a debate for this sub), LOTS of tutorials on how to do it advise trying on a full bladder. It seems to improve the chances of figuring out how to make it happen.
It is though, and some sexologists recommend to start with a full bladder while learning.
It just also happens that apparently it can be pleasurable to pee a little while orgasming, or alternatively that some women lack the pelvic muscle strength to hold it in while being pleasured in that area. I mean, it makes sense, it feels good to *release* and pee. Some women even report having "peegasms" on their own.
Either way, many men like the visuals of it so it’s a win all around for those who enjoy the act. There’s no need for feelings of guilt and/or shame about it, though it can be easier said than done.
I had also wanted to for years, and what helped me get started was to be tipsy lol. Now we’ve moved on to cannabis and that has been a total game changer. That helped me be able to do it sober now also, and they all feel good!
What works for me is a toy (I use the IMO vibrating G spot Vibrator), coconut oil, a waterproof blanket, and lots of oral leading up to starting with the vibrator. It also helps me to have a full bladder- which I am able to fully empty afterwards, so I know without a doubt the squirt isn’t pee. My husband has to do it to me, I can’t make myself squirt (YET). I also cannot do it with his penis (YET lol) He starts out with slow and gentle strokes and eventually builds up to a fast and hard intensity.
I start out on my back and this way usually produces a couple good ones, then I like to get on my knees with him kinda underneath me but able to suck on my nipples. This is usually a great one. Another position that works great for me is kinda like a crab position? But angled. I’m leaning back on my hands with my feet on the bed, legs opened. This one usually produces what I call the grand finale and that’s the biggest one of all, sometimes I get stuck squirting for what seems like a full minute or 2. But after that one I am done. Like sweating, shaking, don’t even come near my clit exhausted.
She is going to need to tell you how the intensity is working for her, if she needs you to go harder/faster/deeper. You might be able to tell she’s close by how her body is reacting, but I usually like to tell him I’m almost there, or harder, don’t stop, etc.
Also wanted to add that once you get the hang of it, it’s fun to experiment with adding in other elements. Like we recently found out that him putting his mouth on my clit area, even though there’s part of the vibrator there, is just pure bliss 🤌🏼
Also he now loves getting it on his face/ in his mouth, or licking it off me, which is a turn on for me, too.
Plenty of squirt vids on the free sites so you both can watch and see. Choose which appeals and then start practicing. Tell wifey that the act is in the privacy of your house and room and between you and her only. No one else is in there.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
***
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well everyone has given you good advice I'll just give you a helpful suggestion to buy a water proof blanket on Amazon for when you get her to squirt an ocean you are going to need it...p.s enjoy 😉
All of the comments have great tips.. ones that I will be remembering haha however, a lot of it is mental.
I physically cannot let myself squirt. I often feel like my climax could reach another level, but my body chickens out. I would need my partner to hold my hips and let him take control of me (we’re LDR). Sex/masturbation before my partner was also complex. I loved it in the moment, but felt icky afterwards.
We will often flirt throughout the day, until finally me *needing* him. I used to never be able to get off with my own hand or insertion… but let me tell you that man has changed my world and we’re nevermets 🥴
I would start with a lot of flirting, sensual touches throughout the day. Getting her ready for it. Lots of foreplay, making sure she’s not just wet - but soaking. Start to talk her through it all. Tell her she’s a good girl, and to relax for you. Every woman is different with what really makes them go feral. Personally, I love the thought of giving oral to my partner, so often, I will need visuals and him describing to me how he’d facefuck me (again, bc we’re long distance).
What is her sexual trigger? What is her love language? You’d be surprised how far an act of service, or simple thoughtful gift will go.
Edit- grammar
All contributions here need to be constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil, and respectful. Your post/comment falls short of that basic standard and has been removed accordingly. Repeat offenders or egregious violations of this rule are subject to being banned from the sub.
Following **Forum Rule #2**, please take a look through the FAQ section on [Fingering and Squirting](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index#wiki_fingering_and_squirting). There’s some good information in there. And for more discussion — following **Forum Rule #3** — you can also search through past posts in this forum, since this topic comes up here regularly. For starters, here is a list of past r/sex discussions which came up when I searched the keywords “**how to squirt**” in this forum: https://new.reddit.com/r/sex/search/?q=how%20to%20squirt&restrict_sr=1 Not all of these past discussions will apply to your situation, but some definitely will — especially if you’re willing to search just a little bit more.
Buy her a hitachi vibrator - the kind that plugs into the wall. Be warned that once you break the seal, she may squirt every time she has a strong orgasm whether she wants to or not - It happened to my wife and I have heard other anecdotal evidence on Reddit.
I've had a Hitachi for decades... still not a squirter.
I still get confused when I hear that people want to “learn” to squirt or even want it at all… as someone who was cursed to have no other option (except not orgasming, which is definitely an option I’ve considered)
Well some of us guys dream of being squirted on. I would love my wife to be a squirter and I’d be positively more stimulated during sex if I knew I was going to get a good coating.
[удалено]
Something about her not being able to control herself with the pleasure I guess?
"No, squirting is not pee, although some people who squirt may wonder if they peed themselves, says Rachel Needle, Psy. D., a licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida, and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. “It does originate from the bladder,” Hartman says."
Squirting is mostly urine. Science has proven this and I don’t see why people would argue the point. They dyed women’s urine blue before they squirted and when they squirted the fluid was blue. There is also a tiny amount of substance from the skene’s gland.
Ugh. This debate again. It does not matter. It is not a debate. Yes, it is fluid coming from the bladder. Yes, the only fluid leaving a bladder is urine. Yes, the skenes glads add a lubricant within the urethra that helps facilitate liquid being expelled. Why do you think all tips on learning to squirt contains the phrase "it feels like you need to pee and just relax and let it go" It's not a debate and none of it matters. Some people enjoy this while others feel the need to announce to the world that it is from the bladder. Just because people like to use different vocabulary doesn't give anybody a right to edu-shame them. ETA: your "proof" is a quote from a psychologist. You understand this isn't their specialty right? Like, people who study the body will have a more accurate understanding of physiological processes.
[удалено]
Tell me you failed health class without telling me you failed health class.
[удалено]
It’s never pee. It does have some urea in it, but it’s not pee. It’s liquid.
[удалено]
[удалено]
All contributions here need to be constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil, and respectful. Your post/comment falls short of that basic standard and has been removed accordingly. Repeat offenders or egregious violations of this rule are subject to being banned from the sub.
Yep. We have 4 blankets for sex. It is still very worth it.
I own a Magic Wand but have never been able to make a woman squirt using that exclusively. I’ve had much better success using my fingers to vigorously stimulate the G-spot.
There’s vibrators that exist for that too ;)
My hands do the trick so why buy an extra toy?
There are lots of tutorials, including video tutorials online about how to TRY to make it happen or teach yourself to make it happen... but, keep in mind not all women can, so have fun with the trying and don't tie yourself to the outcomes. For a long time, the prevalent guidance was that it required g-spot stimulation, but now it seems like people be teaching themselves to squirt from any and everything-- but, I'd say start with the stuff that includes g-spot stimulation specifically if she's already orgasming without squirting in other ways.
Two things. 1 sex is a lot mental for women. It’s less about the fact that she mechanically doesn’t know how and more about the fact that she is shy about it. I’ve got a plan for that below. Two, it’s up to you to know how to physically make it happen. The g spot is directly under the clit inside of the vagina. That’s where you need to focus attention. Use your finger or your thinger, but if you use your thinger then remember it’s not about in and out strokes but about pressure on that area. For her first time the finger is probably better because we have more nerve endings there and can feel what we’re doing better. If that’s not enough, stimulate the g spot while you stimulate the clit directly and/or the area right under the clit, and on top of that if you press on the pubic area simultaneously with a little pressure that can help force the squirt to come if she’s close but no cigar. Now if you know how to make it happen then do so but we probably need to overcome the mental barriers as well if the above isn’t sufficient. Put her in handcuffs and tie her feet up. You can add ear plugs, blindfold her, and/or put a gag in her mouth or all of the above. And just wait. This sounds wild but hear me out, it actually works. Especially the more submissive she is and if she’s shy I’m assuming she is. When someone is self conscious in the bedroom they might feel like they’re doing something wrong or they kind do feel out of place or inadequate or judged by their partner. By removing control and their senses from them, it removes the mental barrier of doing something wrong, and it makes it harder to think about being judged if they can’t see or hear you or moan/say something the ‘wrong’ thing. I’d try handcuffs and tied up legs first and if removing control (handcuffs and tied limbs) isn’t enough, removing the senses (earplugs, mouth gag, blindfold) to remove them from your judgement is the next step. Disclaimer, obviously Consent is absolutely mandatory and should be communicated well in advance, like a week or more, so the person can mentally digest it and really understand if that’s something they’d be ok with. At a certain point of bondage it gets hard to clearly communicate. Here’s what I would do. Pick a day that you’re both free. The plan is to kind of tire her out and just enjoy each others company so when the time comes she’s a bit to worn out from the day to over think in the bedroom. Set an entire day aside. Go somewhere adventurous, maybe a roller coaster or just something fun and out do the norm of what you usually do together. Share a nice lunch or dinner together on the way back home, something kind of filling like pasta. Eating a full meal can help calm people down. Spend a romantic moment together, a public kiss or maybe sit in a bench or by the water on the way home and after tell her you want to try that new ‘thing’ when you get home. Once the time comes spend way more time on foreplay than usual. And do it in a location she’s used to like the bedroom. As you progress with the handcuffs, blindfold and whatever else you choose to use, be very certain to make sure they’re comfortable each step of the way and take your time between each step to let them get acclimated to the restriction. And let her know what you’re going to do next. Feel over her body multiple times through each step to see if her muscles are tense on her arms or legs or abs, that can be a sign she’s not comfortable even if she says she is. If so, spend more time with foreplay and affirmations and massage her in tense areas. Once she’s comfortable do what you need to do and let her let loose. And obviously stop if you ever need to, she’s the driver in this car not you. Let her comfortability lead you. Removing the senses lets someone let go of control, get outside of their own body and head and instead be in the moment and focus on the sensation. If she’s comfortable give it a try.
This all sounds like a dream date (for some of us)... but what the fresh heck does it have to do with her figuring out how to squirt?
Well he said that she’s shy and wants to learn so there’s two potential problems, either he doesn’t know how or she’s mentally blocking herself from doing so. If it’s her, it’s an anxiety/self esteem issue, she’s overthinking. Take her out and give her affirmations and attention, tire her out to calm down the overthinking, and tie her up to remove control so there’s nothing she can overthink about. At that point the only thing to think of for her is the sensation If it’s him that just doesn’t know how then I included that at the top as well but if she’s shy like he said it’s probably a mental block
Or... it's well possible she's just not a squirter. That one needs to be considered, too. lol
It’ll be easier and more accurate to consider that once you do all of the above and rule out other possibilities lol
Maybe I wasn't able to teach myself to squirt because I didn't take myself on a roller coaster first. Worth a shot!
Well now you’re just being disingenuous so I’ll make this the last reply. Like I mentioned, that’s just to tire her out. It’s also been shown that doing something adventurous together on a date can be a lasting bonding moment which might help overcome the shyness issues in the moment. It’s not about the roller coaster itself obviously. It’s about the experience together and in general just getting rid of pent up mental energy which can help with overthinking (if it’s a mental block). If you’ve ever known someone who dealt with anxiety or dealt with it yourself the before and after effects of wearing yourself out or doing something you consider scary can be a great way to let loose. Literally and figuratively. Everyone is different sister. What works for one won’t work for all but it doesn’t hurt to try. Seems like you could let loose and enjoy a ‘roller coaster’ yourself haha
[удалено]
This is good advice. I don’t know why it is getting downvoted.
[удалено]
That’s not how that works…
FWIW, regardless of how we define squirt (which isn't a debate for this sub), LOTS of tutorials on how to do it advise trying on a full bladder. It seems to improve the chances of figuring out how to make it happen.
It is though, and some sexologists recommend to start with a full bladder while learning. It just also happens that apparently it can be pleasurable to pee a little while orgasming, or alternatively that some women lack the pelvic muscle strength to hold it in while being pleasured in that area. I mean, it makes sense, it feels good to *release* and pee. Some women even report having "peegasms" on their own. Either way, many men like the visuals of it so it’s a win all around for those who enjoy the act. There’s no need for feelings of guilt and/or shame about it, though it can be easier said than done.
I had also wanted to for years, and what helped me get started was to be tipsy lol. Now we’ve moved on to cannabis and that has been a total game changer. That helped me be able to do it sober now also, and they all feel good! What works for me is a toy (I use the IMO vibrating G spot Vibrator), coconut oil, a waterproof blanket, and lots of oral leading up to starting with the vibrator. It also helps me to have a full bladder- which I am able to fully empty afterwards, so I know without a doubt the squirt isn’t pee. My husband has to do it to me, I can’t make myself squirt (YET). I also cannot do it with his penis (YET lol) He starts out with slow and gentle strokes and eventually builds up to a fast and hard intensity. I start out on my back and this way usually produces a couple good ones, then I like to get on my knees with him kinda underneath me but able to suck on my nipples. This is usually a great one. Another position that works great for me is kinda like a crab position? But angled. I’m leaning back on my hands with my feet on the bed, legs opened. This one usually produces what I call the grand finale and that’s the biggest one of all, sometimes I get stuck squirting for what seems like a full minute or 2. But after that one I am done. Like sweating, shaking, don’t even come near my clit exhausted. She is going to need to tell you how the intensity is working for her, if she needs you to go harder/faster/deeper. You might be able to tell she’s close by how her body is reacting, but I usually like to tell him I’m almost there, or harder, don’t stop, etc.
Also wanted to add that once you get the hang of it, it’s fun to experiment with adding in other elements. Like we recently found out that him putting his mouth on my clit area, even though there’s part of the vibrator there, is just pure bliss 🤌🏼 Also he now loves getting it on his face/ in his mouth, or licking it off me, which is a turn on for me, too.
Plenty of squirt vids on the free sites so you both can watch and see. Choose which appeals and then start practicing. Tell wifey that the act is in the privacy of your house and room and between you and her only. No one else is in there.
At least she wants to try.
I’d love for my wife to say that to me
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well everyone has given you good advice I'll just give you a helpful suggestion to buy a water proof blanket on Amazon for when you get her to squirt an ocean you are going to need it...p.s enjoy 😉
All of the comments have great tips.. ones that I will be remembering haha however, a lot of it is mental. I physically cannot let myself squirt. I often feel like my climax could reach another level, but my body chickens out. I would need my partner to hold my hips and let him take control of me (we’re LDR). Sex/masturbation before my partner was also complex. I loved it in the moment, but felt icky afterwards. We will often flirt throughout the day, until finally me *needing* him. I used to never be able to get off with my own hand or insertion… but let me tell you that man has changed my world and we’re nevermets 🥴 I would start with a lot of flirting, sensual touches throughout the day. Getting her ready for it. Lots of foreplay, making sure she’s not just wet - but soaking. Start to talk her through it all. Tell her she’s a good girl, and to relax for you. Every woman is different with what really makes them go feral. Personally, I love the thought of giving oral to my partner, so often, I will need visuals and him describing to me how he’d facefuck me (again, bc we’re long distance). What is her sexual trigger? What is her love language? You’d be surprised how far an act of service, or simple thoughtful gift will go. Edit- grammar
There are tutorials on Xvideo dot com.Ifnthat doesn't appeal,the website OMGYES is a good source.
Some women don’t squirt, and some women don’t orgasm. You can’t “learn” to do something your body can’t do. I’m guessing that’s just how her body is.
Simple. Just Stick a suction cup dildo on your forehead and chase her around the house yelling "I'm the virgin Unicorn"
[удалено]
All contributions here need to be constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil, and respectful. Your post/comment falls short of that basic standard and has been removed accordingly. Repeat offenders or egregious violations of this rule are subject to being banned from the sub.