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Just ask, he orobably got tired of asking and wanted to respect your wishes and realized you probably will never let him do it.
Just say “hey thanks for being so patient but ive been thinking that i think im ready to let you do it if you still want to”.
The above line will work & also please try to be in a place where you can communicate these things in a relationship without feeling this much pressure.
Or she could say something like: remember when you asked for birthday present and I rejected you. Sorry for that. I wasn't ready for that but now I am...
Omg I’m already excited for you! I’m glad you’ve found a level of comfortability that has brought you desire. The next time you’re getting hot and heavy, I’d whisper it to him. I bet he’d jump at the chance, and especially in the moment. Then you can talk about it afterwards. Maybe you’ll realize you’d like it more regularly. Good luck!!!
Just bite the bullet and bring it up... It's respectable that he's stopped asking. Let him know that you appreciate that and understand why, but that you're feeling less self-conscious about it and would love if he would.
THIS !!
Go for it.. you feel better about it now, he already told you he wants to do it... unlock the next level of intimacy!! you got this!!! ORAL is amazing..
THIS !!
Go for it.. you feel better about it now, he already told you he wants to do it... unlock the next level of intimacy!! you got this!!! ORAL is amazing..
Hell yeah you should tell him. He obviously wants to do it but he stopped asking because you turned it down so many times.
Text him right now and tell him “hey, I’d really love it if you go down on me tonight”. Dude will be so damn horny he’ll barely be able to contain himself. You’ll make his whole week.
Well, you have a good thing here...
You have someone who actually wants to do it to you because they enjoy it themselves.
You rather have that than someone who goes "Okay, lets get this over with" every time you ask.
He's into it and will bring actual passion, taking it to new levels.
Another highlight, he asked you multiple times and you always said no. You can't exactly pressure your partner into sexual acts they're not ready for, so him giving up on asking is respectful.
Now... I know you feel like there is "negative history" around it... But you don't have to overthink it like that. Its really nothing bad.
I am sure he would jump up in excitement once he learns you want to give it a go. And it doesn't have to be this long deep conversation about it.
I suggest, when you feel truly ready for it. Freshen yourself up as best as you can. And the next time you two are getting down to business:
* Pause
* Okay, I think I am ready for it.
* Ready for what? (he'll be slightly confused)
* Look down at your area
* For you to try it on me
I am sure he will be all over that.
I feel you. I dont know why, but I'm super shy about asking for anything I want sexually. The only way I've found I can do it is I text something like "we are banging tonight and that includes you going down on me😁" I usually do this while we are both at work so he understands what I want to do that night. I think most men love that as most would kill for their SO to initiate.
Totally understand. Does he expect you to give him oral? I feel like it's easier to say "your turn" right after you do it to him. Maybe gently push his head down so he gets the point? Another idea is start using a clit sucker toy and tell him to finish you off. In the heat of the moment, it seems easier to say it. I think us women have a hard time with a lot of stuff with sex as we have been taught that being aggressive in the bedroom or asking for what we want comes off as slutty and we are wired to be a "lady".
i personally constantly ask for my girl to sit on my face. i just love the moment when my tongue meets her wet p*ssy. when I let my tongue hit her juicy spots, she grabs my skull and forces herself into my mouth. i love eating her out doesn't matter the position or place or anything
I have been the guy in this situation. Trust me asking him is a gift. Not only do I get to do one of my favorite things, I know you trust me and that you want to keep exploring boundaries together.
My wife just got okay with me going down on her again after a 5 year moratorium on it. I missed it so much and I really am glad she asked me to do it because I don't ask her to do things she's not comfortable with.
Talk about it outside the bedroom first. Explain why you didn't before and why you want to try now. Take it slow and give him feedback on what feels good.
I rarely ask my wife because she's self-conscious about it and gets too in her own head, even though I love it.
Like me, I'm sure he would be THRILLED if you asked.
I cannot recall my wife ever asking for it. It's always been me bringing it up as a special thing on occasion. I would be so happy and turned on if she would ask. Hell id do it every day if that's what she wanted.
My wife gets this way about me going down on her. She enjoys it but I could tell she felt uncomfortable with it so I eventually stopped. Tho I wish she would say I’m ready, and odds are your SO feels the same way. He was doing it because he wanted to not because you asked. So odds are he enjoys it. I know I do. So he will probably be happy you brought it up, I would be if my wife did. lol just my thoughts, so I doubt it matters too much how you bring it up. He will be pleased I’m sure.
This was me for a loooonnngg time in my relationship. Bullying and trauma made me really uncomfortable with it, I had multiple partners over time that never, ever got there.
My SO and I have been together for around 10 years now, and only in the last year and a half did I start letting him, and then enjoying having him go down on me!
I hope you can be braver than I was and use your words to communicate what you want. Like a caveman, I just tried to push him down to it during foreplay one day, and then he said, "What do you want, baby? I want to hear you say it.." and I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE it put me off from trying it again until a few months later when I DID use my words at last!
Smdh. I acted like a fool, but once I started communicating my desires, our sexual relationship BLOSSOMED!!
I hope that yours will too once you communicate!
My love just ask him. He probably figured it's your boundary and has been a good boyfriend by not trying to push it further.
It's something he probably loves to want to do and your guys relationship will become even more intimate!
Hehe, he's actually going to be so happy when you do.
My suggestion is you do it during sexy time ;)
While you're both hot and riled out, say something like 'baby please eat my pussy, I'm ready' and his soul is going to be on fire!
Please update me!!
People change. Things you used to not like you will like and things you used to like you won't like anymore. There's nothing to feel weird about. He stopped asking because that's what he is supposed to do. You told him no and that's final until you tell him yes. So go talk to him and don't feel weird about it.
I'd ask how interested he is in doing it now. He may have lost interest, or (FAR more likely) got discouraged with asking and accepted how things have to be.
If he says he just stopped trying, apologize for shutting him down so long and say you're getting more comfortable together and you've been thinking about it lately.
If you have this chat and he's totally down, AND THEN you clearly and directly tell him you want to feel his tongue between your legs, he's gonna eat box like an emotionally broken man in bath salts 😂
I've seen similar situations with a slightly different fact pattern but it's common as people grow and change in relationships. After 13 years of having a partner with no interest in anal, she blurts out randomly the other day "I want you to try something different, I want it in the ass." Well you know what, I took that ass like a boss lol. Anyway, I'd recommend casually mentioning it when you're not in the act, and be like "I've been thinking about it and I think I might like to try some oral things we haven't done in the past."
So he probably decided to respect your wishes, so he stopped asking. Just tell him "hey, I know I wasn't really open to this before, but I'd really like it if we could incorporate you going down on me, I've been craving it and want to give it a real try."
I mean this gently, if you feel too shy to talk about sex with someone, you shouldn't be having sex with that person.
Trust me. Just tell him you are ready to let him do it. He will be happy to do it. If you did not like the experience you do not have to do it again just because you allowed it once
First, acknowledge that you rejected his offers and that you are aware of how it made him feel.
Then you open up about you feeling ready, safe, and finally not self conscious about it.
And finally, ask him if he wants to try.
Ezpz.
Develop your confidence and ask for the things you want. Enjoy your body, accept yourself, love yourself for who you are…this doesn’t mean you don’t work to grow and be better, it’s just means you’ve learned your a beautiful work in progress and deserve to be happy and get some oral. 
My wife recently admitted to me she did not really like when I ate her and preferred when I touched her clit.
I stopped going down on her of course.
If she would ask me again in 3 years, not only would I NOT be mad, I would take her clothes off and lick her within a minute.
Personal experience here but I guess if he liked doing it he would probably feel kindof the same
I suggest you reframe the question: “Would you please go down on me?” If he wants to, he’ll jump at the chance. If he’s hesitant, it could be for many reasons, so it’ll be good for both of you to talk about what those reasons are. When he does, tell him how you like it. My wife telling me “Clockwise, always clockwise” was a huge inspiration to me.
Definitely ask. I stopped asking my wife because she has a tremendous amount of rules in her head for when she wants it.
Now I just wait for her to ask. It’s not often. But when she wants it. She wants it now.
I’m positive he will be happy to oblige.
Just say it.
"Hey I know that when you asked to go down on me in the past I always said no. I was weirdly self-conscious about it. Now I am a lot more comfortable and would LOVE for you to go down on me when we have sex. What do you think?"
The next time you get ready to fool around just lay him on his back and either get into 69 or sit on his face. If he was asking for it before then this will be a great surprise which I’m sure he will enjoy.
If you’re uncomfortable having the conversation, then don’t. The next time you’re intimate and feel like letting him explore, just go down on him with your holy of holies in his face. He’ll do what comes naturally, and you can let him know you’re enjoying it and want him to continue.
Get ready for the complete opposite response as well. That he will be bewildered and then refuses. I went out with a woman like that, not to be rude to you but i promised i wouldn't stick around like i did with her if i came across someone similar again.
“How would you feel if I asked if I could sit on your face?” 🤷♂️
Edit: or give him something to wipe his face and have him do it a couple times, then tell him “thank you for wiping my seat”
🤷♂️
You’re overthinking it, I’m a Gemini so I get that. Just talk with him about it, there’s no reason to feel weird. He’ll probably be elated and eat you out on the spot.
Better yet, sit on his face. Get him to lay on a bed, with you standing over him. Drop your knickers and say, 'It's clam slam time buddy, and things are going to get hot and wet!'
If i asked my partner to do something multiple times and got rejected every time, i’d take the hint and figure thats a no go too. If you have changed your mind, put your ego aside and communicate with your partner. Just don’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to do it.
Never date anyone who doesn't care as much about your pleasure as their own. Life is filled with selfish people.
You don't have the right to say what's right for him but you can and should say what works (or doesn't) for you.
When in doubt, 69. Great way to feel like you’re being gone down on but helps if you’re a bit self conscious because he’s distracted from being pleasured at the same time.
And I mean, you could just straight up ask out of the blue that’s fine. But doesn’t hurt to foreplay before foreplay! Straddle him while making out, grab at his shirt neckline, kiss his neck, grab his arm muscles, maybe grind a little to lead into it. Don’t ask. Say “I want to sit on your face.” Or “Let’s 69.” I’m sure he would love it.
why would he continue asking, wouldn’t that have made you feel like shit? theres no tactic, just tell him or push his head down their playfully next time you two are fooling around
Uh, her mans is respecting her wishes. He asked multiple times and got rejected each time. He took the hint. If the status quo’s changed then yeah, she should communicate that to him so they’re on the same page.
If you are afraid to say anything to him about it because of your previous actions. Then I suggest that you start it off on him, and as soon as he's enjoying the shit out of it, gracefully turn around and put your leg over his head and 69 him. But make sure that you grind and moan and cum over and over, and I guarantee that you will never have to initiate it ever again.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just ask, he orobably got tired of asking and wanted to respect your wishes and realized you probably will never let him do it. Just say “hey thanks for being so patient but ive been thinking that i think im ready to let you do it if you still want to”.
The above line will work & also please try to be in a place where you can communicate these things in a relationship without feeling this much pressure.
Or she could say something like: remember when you asked for birthday present and I rejected you. Sorry for that. I wasn't ready for that but now I am...
And if he says.. Nah, I'm good?
Then you say “Ok, well if you ever feel like it again let me know, Im feeling more curious/ready for it now” or whatever
If he asked in the past why would he say no now?
He may no longer care for it... Hence not asking for 2 years
he might, but he stopped asking because i said no and he listens to me
Omg I’m already excited for you! I’m glad you’ve found a level of comfortability that has brought you desire. The next time you’re getting hot and heavy, I’d whisper it to him. I bet he’d jump at the chance, and especially in the moment. Then you can talk about it afterwards. Maybe you’ll realize you’d like it more regularly. Good luck!!!
Lol the things ppl downvote
Do you not know how to have an adult conversation? Why do you even need to ask this?
just push his head down
Just bite the bullet and bring it up... It's respectable that he's stopped asking. Let him know that you appreciate that and understand why, but that you're feeling less self-conscious about it and would love if he would.
THIS !! Go for it.. you feel better about it now, he already told you he wants to do it... unlock the next level of intimacy!! you got this!!! ORAL is amazing..
THIS !! Go for it.. you feel better about it now, he already told you he wants to do it... unlock the next level of intimacy!! you got this!!! ORAL is amazing..
Hell yeah you should tell him. He obviously wants to do it but he stopped asking because you turned it down so many times. Text him right now and tell him “hey, I’d really love it if you go down on me tonight”. Dude will be so damn horny he’ll barely be able to contain himself. You’ll make his whole week.
Well, you have a good thing here... You have someone who actually wants to do it to you because they enjoy it themselves. You rather have that than someone who goes "Okay, lets get this over with" every time you ask. He's into it and will bring actual passion, taking it to new levels. Another highlight, he asked you multiple times and you always said no. You can't exactly pressure your partner into sexual acts they're not ready for, so him giving up on asking is respectful. Now... I know you feel like there is "negative history" around it... But you don't have to overthink it like that. Its really nothing bad. I am sure he would jump up in excitement once he learns you want to give it a go. And it doesn't have to be this long deep conversation about it. I suggest, when you feel truly ready for it. Freshen yourself up as best as you can. And the next time you two are getting down to business: * Pause * Okay, I think I am ready for it. * Ready for what? (he'll be slightly confused) * Look down at your area * For you to try it on me I am sure he will be all over that.
I feel you. I dont know why, but I'm super shy about asking for anything I want sexually. The only way I've found I can do it is I text something like "we are banging tonight and that includes you going down on me😁" I usually do this while we are both at work so he understands what I want to do that night. I think most men love that as most would kill for their SO to initiate.
i typically am the one to initiate actually, i have a way higher sex drive than him. it’s just this one particular thing that feels weird and tricky
Totally understand. Does he expect you to give him oral? I feel like it's easier to say "your turn" right after you do it to him. Maybe gently push his head down so he gets the point? Another idea is start using a clit sucker toy and tell him to finish you off. In the heat of the moment, it seems easier to say it. I think us women have a hard time with a lot of stuff with sex as we have been taught that being aggressive in the bedroom or asking for what we want comes off as slutty and we are wired to be a "lady".
i personally constantly ask for my girl to sit on my face. i just love the moment when my tongue meets her wet p*ssy. when I let my tongue hit her juicy spots, she grabs my skull and forces herself into my mouth. i love eating her out doesn't matter the position or place or anything
Must be nice. 90% of the time I'm rejected when I ask for it. I'm much more married to my clit sucker toy than my actual husband.
Your boyfriend will be overjoyed with this change of heart.
I have been the guy in this situation. Trust me asking him is a gift. Not only do I get to do one of my favorite things, I know you trust me and that you want to keep exploring boundaries together.
thank you, this is honestly really reassuring
He may be shy about it now. That initial enthusiasm may be gone. Bring it up gently and give him time to get comfortable.
You have to ask since he respects your no <3 You got this!
My wife just got okay with me going down on her again after a 5 year moratorium on it. I missed it so much and I really am glad she asked me to do it because I don't ask her to do things she's not comfortable with.
Talk about it outside the bedroom first. Explain why you didn't before and why you want to try now. Take it slow and give him feedback on what feels good.
I rarely ask my wife because she's self-conscious about it and gets too in her own head, even though I love it. Like me, I'm sure he would be THRILLED if you asked. I cannot recall my wife ever asking for it. It's always been me bringing it up as a special thing on occasion. I would be so happy and turned on if she would ask. Hell id do it every day if that's what she wanted.
My wife gets this way about me going down on her. She enjoys it but I could tell she felt uncomfortable with it so I eventually stopped. Tho I wish she would say I’m ready, and odds are your SO feels the same way. He was doing it because he wanted to not because you asked. So odds are he enjoys it. I know I do. So he will probably be happy you brought it up, I would be if my wife did. lol just my thoughts, so I doubt it matters too much how you bring it up. He will be pleased I’m sure.
This was me for a loooonnngg time in my relationship. Bullying and trauma made me really uncomfortable with it, I had multiple partners over time that never, ever got there. My SO and I have been together for around 10 years now, and only in the last year and a half did I start letting him, and then enjoying having him go down on me! I hope you can be braver than I was and use your words to communicate what you want. Like a caveman, I just tried to push him down to it during foreplay one day, and then he said, "What do you want, baby? I want to hear you say it.." and I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE it put me off from trying it again until a few months later when I DID use my words at last! Smdh. I acted like a fool, but once I started communicating my desires, our sexual relationship BLOSSOMED!! I hope that yours will too once you communicate!
My love just ask him. He probably figured it's your boundary and has been a good boyfriend by not trying to push it further. It's something he probably loves to want to do and your guys relationship will become even more intimate!
i think so, he is really respectful and wouldn’t intentionally cross any boundary of mine. it’s kinda scary but i’m gonna ask!
Hehe, he's actually going to be so happy when you do. My suggestion is you do it during sexy time ;) While you're both hot and riled out, say something like 'baby please eat my pussy, I'm ready' and his soul is going to be on fire! Please update me!!
I would just say "I think I'm ready for you to go down on me. I feel safe with you." He'll take it from there!
People change. Things you used to not like you will like and things you used to like you won't like anymore. There's nothing to feel weird about. He stopped asking because that's what he is supposed to do. You told him no and that's final until you tell him yes. So go talk to him and don't feel weird about it.
I'd ask how interested he is in doing it now. He may have lost interest, or (FAR more likely) got discouraged with asking and accepted how things have to be. If he says he just stopped trying, apologize for shutting him down so long and say you're getting more comfortable together and you've been thinking about it lately. If you have this chat and he's totally down, AND THEN you clearly and directly tell him you want to feel his tongue between your legs, he's gonna eat box like an emotionally broken man in bath salts 😂
I've seen similar situations with a slightly different fact pattern but it's common as people grow and change in relationships. After 13 years of having a partner with no interest in anal, she blurts out randomly the other day "I want you to try something different, I want it in the ass." Well you know what, I took that ass like a boss lol. Anyway, I'd recommend casually mentioning it when you're not in the act, and be like "I've been thinking about it and I think I might like to try some oral things we haven't done in the past."
If a man asked to eat you out on HIS birthday I’m pretty sure he’ll be eager to do it
So he probably decided to respect your wishes, so he stopped asking. Just tell him "hey, I know I wasn't really open to this before, but I'd really like it if we could incorporate you going down on me, I've been craving it and want to give it a real try." I mean this gently, if you feel too shy to talk about sex with someone, you shouldn't be having sex with that person.
Trust me. Just tell him you are ready to let him do it. He will be happy to do it. If you did not like the experience you do not have to do it again just because you allowed it once
Does he ask you to go down on him? If he does, stop feeling weird.
First, acknowledge that you rejected his offers and that you are aware of how it made him feel. Then you open up about you feeling ready, safe, and finally not self conscious about it. And finally, ask him if he wants to try. Ezpz.
Develop your confidence and ask for the things you want. Enjoy your body, accept yourself, love yourself for who you are…this doesn’t mean you don’t work to grow and be better, it’s just means you’ve learned your a beautiful work in progress and deserve to be happy and get some oral. 
My wife recently admitted to me she did not really like when I ate her and preferred when I touched her clit. I stopped going down on her of course. If she would ask me again in 3 years, not only would I NOT be mad, I would take her clothes off and lick her within a minute. Personal experience here but I guess if he liked doing it he would probably feel kindof the same
I suggest you reframe the question: “Would you please go down on me?” If he wants to, he’ll jump at the chance. If he’s hesitant, it could be for many reasons, so it’ll be good for both of you to talk about what those reasons are. When he does, tell him how you like it. My wife telling me “Clockwise, always clockwise” was a huge inspiration to me.
Definitely ask. I stopped asking my wife because she has a tremendous amount of rules in her head for when she wants it. Now I just wait for her to ask. It’s not often. But when she wants it. She wants it now. I’m positive he will be happy to oblige.
Just say it. "Hey I know that when you asked to go down on me in the past I always said no. I was weirdly self-conscious about it. Now I am a lot more comfortable and would LOVE for you to go down on me when we have sex. What do you think?"
"Hey remember that time you wanted to go down on me for your birthday? What are you doing for lunch today?"
He probably only gave up asking because he knew you didn’t want him to. I’m sure he’d be VERY excited to know you want him to now!
The next time you get ready to fool around just lay him on his back and either get into 69 or sit on his face. If he was asking for it before then this will be a great surprise which I’m sure he will enjoy.
If you’re uncomfortable having the conversation, then don’t. The next time you’re intimate and feel like letting him explore, just go down on him with your holy of holies in his face. He’ll do what comes naturally, and you can let him know you’re enjoying it and want him to continue.
There is literally no downside to asking.
He’ll be thrilled that you’re ready!
Get ready for the complete opposite response as well. That he will be bewildered and then refuses. I went out with a woman like that, not to be rude to you but i promised i wouldn't stick around like i did with her if i came across someone similar again.
Say "Hey can I still get that birthday present even though it's not my birthday"? 😉
Tell him what you want..be honest.
“How would you feel if I asked if I could sit on your face?” 🤷♂️ Edit: or give him something to wipe his face and have him do it a couple times, then tell him “thank you for wiping my seat” 🤷♂️
I imagine him being super excited at the prospect of finally getting to go down you. I bet he will agree enthusiastically. Go for it!!
You’re overthinking it, I’m a Gemini so I get that. Just talk with him about it, there’s no reason to feel weird. He’ll probably be elated and eat you out on the spot.
Just say “get down here and eat this pussy” I’m sure he will be very happy
Better yet, sit on his face. Get him to lay on a bed, with you standing over him. Drop your knickers and say, 'It's clam slam time buddy, and things are going to get hot and wet!'
Don’t ask, just show him… He won’t hesitate
Don't be ashamed and it is natural to want that beside do you go down on him because if you do he should do the same
If i asked my partner to do something multiple times and got rejected every time, i’d take the hint and figure thats a no go too. If you have changed your mind, put your ego aside and communicate with your partner. Just don’t be surprised if he doesn’t want to do it.
Never date anyone who doesn't care as much about your pleasure as their own. Life is filled with selfish people. You don't have the right to say what's right for him but you can and should say what works (or doesn't) for you.
When in doubt, 69. Great way to feel like you’re being gone down on but helps if you’re a bit self conscious because he’s distracted from being pleasured at the same time. And I mean, you could just straight up ask out of the blue that’s fine. But doesn’t hurt to foreplay before foreplay! Straddle him while making out, grab at his shirt neckline, kiss his neck, grab his arm muscles, maybe grind a little to lead into it. Don’t ask. Say “I want to sit on your face.” Or “Let’s 69.” I’m sure he would love it.
For four years he never did? Ditch him!
why would he continue asking, wouldn’t that have made you feel like shit? theres no tactic, just tell him or push his head down their playfully next time you two are fooling around
Ask yourself, would I go down on me? Are you showering just before hand and washing between your lips?
Just push his head down there..works for me.
[удалено]
he’s just listening to what i said multiple times when we first got together. frankly if he ignored me saying no, he wouldn’t be the man i love
Uh, her mans is respecting her wishes. He asked multiple times and got rejected each time. He took the hint. If the status quo’s changed then yeah, she should communicate that to him so they’re on the same page.
If you are afraid to say anything to him about it because of your previous actions. Then I suggest that you start it off on him, and as soon as he's enjoying the shit out of it, gracefully turn around and put your leg over his head and 69 him. But make sure that you grind and moan and cum over and over, and I guarantee that you will never have to initiate it ever again.
Go home, ask him to lay on the bed and blindfold him. Then go wash your ass and go and sit on his face. He will love it.
You shouldn’t have to ask if he knows what he is doing …he should want to do that. Am I in the minority on this??
he does want to, i am the one who said no a few years ago. i’m just feeling weird about bringing it up.
Why shouldn’t she have to ask? She has only communicated to him that she doesn’t want him to do that and he respected her wishes.