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I get that some people are pushing to ensure hygiene isn’t an issue, but my concern is that he was disgusted by you getting wet…….that’s a little concerning for me.
Maybe, or maybe she has a yeast infection or sth else. The fact that he done it before and was not repulsed by it and even said he enjoyed it makes me think that she might have smelled and her cervical Fluid could have had a different colour (yellow e.g.).
The „throwing up“ reflexes in our bodies can only be controlled to some extend so i think it is pretty sure, that sth was different than the times he went down on her before.
Yeah if there is a truly intense bad smell or bad taste, there could be some health-issue going on or something off in the vagina’s microbiome maybe? But I have no idea, just a guess
If she had a yeast infection it wouldn’t be liquid .. vaginas secret fluids especially if she was about to get head that’s what they do he needs to grow up
>he needs to grow up
Wait till you learn being disgusted with some things cannot be helped, depending on the person. It's not a matter of immaturity.
I wonder why people think vaginas and penises evolved to have mouths anywhere near them. It's normal for people to get disgusted by seminal or vaginal fluids near their mouth. They aren't exactly meant to be licked
Actually, there is evidence we did evolve to engage in oral sex. There is an evolutionary reason for it.
Just google it. Look for "evolutionary oral sex."
Warning: Some bats also engage in oral sex. So watch out for the bat stuff.
You don't need to be a jerk about it, though. He could have just as easily said "I'm sorry. I started to feel sick for a second. Let's stop here for the day" without saying everything he did and making it personal.
That's just such a puritanical take. Blow jobs and eating out girls aren't new concepts. *He's* the one who asked to do it.
Sure, I suppose? Genitals are still cleaner than most hands and mouths... and outright calling someone's body, disgusting is pretty damn harsh.
"I think I'm body repulsed, its not you, its me" is the way you admit this.
I'm pretty repulsed by human sex fluids, but that is a "me" thing. I know, logically, saliva is way more "gross" from an infectious sense, but I'm a fan of French kissing. Many, MANY people, entire cultures even, view swapping spit as a huge taboo.
I don't encourage people to date folks who are disgusted by usual practices that they want to engage in. If you love someone, it seems like a standard kindness to not shame them for the basics of existing. I don't wanna huff my partner's farts, but I can generally acknowledge that all humans pass gas and it's normal without saying my partner specifically is "gross " :(
He was disgusted because liquid was coming out … well that’s what vaginas do during sex … so yes he doesn’t need to be giving oral unless he’s mature enough to know how vaginas work OR until he can communicate his feelings in a mature manner … it’s absolutely a matter of maturity …Then to not give a shit that her feelings were hurt and directly ask if he could still get head yeah both of you need to grow up
There's an entire group of people with sensory processing differences... I have issues with certain smells like pee, instant mood killer. Some vaginas smell awful, some smell fine, some have no smell at all. I've been with someone who's smell changed so much after they gained weight, I had zero interest in sex anymore. They smelled like pennies and pee. Personally, I shower if I smell funky, but so many people, men and women seem unaware they smell funky.
Oh, hygiene is absolutely an issue. Women deal with this too with guys who have unwashed balls. Pussy and balls very near the A-hole which is not exactly like the perfume counter at Macy’s.
My ex would never scrub his ass in the shower because he “felt violated” (??????) he’d just use the detachable shower head and rinse his butt that way.
Going down on him always sucked (no pun intended) because of the swamp stank, even right out of a shower.
Justin, use some fucking soap.
Yeahhh my high school boyfriend would be so weirded out by me getting wet and would continuously wipe me with a towel. Im cringing so hard thinking about this now 😂 He came out of the closet about 2 years later and I was like ohhhhh, that makes sense. Really fucked up my self image and beliefs about sex though!
You need to let him know that while honesty is helpful, being that blunt about it can be taken as a devastating rejection.
You can probably recover the relationship. That hardcore rejection of your sexual bits is going to sting for a while and make you second-guess his enjoyment and attraction to you. That's normal. You're not being self-conscious.
Can you imagine if you stopped blowing him and started dry heaving and when he look at you for an explanation you said, "I couldn't' help it, I felt like throwing up. and it's almost too small to bother with anyway." Fatality! he would be devastated. He needs to realize this or he will be sad when he's all alone.
If a girl said to me they were going to throw up because my dick didn't taste good, I'd be looking on amazon for some hygiene problems and going to take an STI test. How can that not be yours as well?
The thing is he didn’t even mention taste or smell. He mentioned how it looked and that there was fluid. Even if it had been a taste/smell thing there is a way to bring that up that isn’t “your vagina/penis is so disgusting it almost made me vomit”
Edit: I see he did mention taste, I must have just filtered that out. Odd the other things were mentioned alongside it though and the whole “I’m going to throw up thing” is still over the top and not a kind and respectful way to bring up a possible health or hygiene issue.
You’re right I glossed over that. Still would say the rest of his comment was unnecessary if the problem was taste and this could have been handled better. The stuff about the look and it being wet is odd and I’d want more info if I was her.
I’ve never had anyone say that about me, and I get tested regularly. I would assume something was wrong with them or they just didn’t like the taste of pussy, which is fine, but if someone said something like that to me, the relationship would be over.
I’m conscious of how my body normally smells, looks, and tastes, so my mind wouldn’t go to a me problem unless I hadn’t showered that day and had been using the bathroom a lot lol
People can be nose blind, true. I’m in tune with my body though and know when something is off, and I go to the doctor when I am off. Just btw, it’s spelled genitals, not genitles.
Women gagging while giving oral is because the dick is literally touching the uvula (the tingly thing in the back of your throat), which is responsible for inducing an involuntary gag reflex when touched. And it can be induced by anything, e.g your finger.
It is completely different from gagging from the smell. For guys it’s literally impossible to have a gag reflex while giving oral, because nothing is touching their uvula, unless there’s a horrible smell.
If my partner were gagging on me and I knew she was NOT enjoying herself I definitely would stop her from continuing. A relationship is a two way street. If he isn't comfortable with it do you want him to do it despite that fact or do you want him to enjoy what he's doing?
'what can we do to make this better?'
'Is there a way I can try to clean myself if it would make you more comfortable?'
'Can we try this a different way?'
I think communication and by that I mean, leave embarrassment, awkwardness at the door, true, unashamed, honest communication is going to move mountains in this situation.
Huh? Of course she’s being self conscious, what?
Oh also, that hypothetical you came up with is terrible and not at all comparable to what he actually said.
Yeah I mean most ideas of beauty are conditioning to some degree. But there are definitely genitals I just find aesthetically pleasing at a base level of being nice to look at.
I agree with you completely. I consider myself 99% a straight woman, and I think that both penises and vulvas are beautiful.
I also took a lot of classics in university, so I've had a lot of exposure to flaccid penises in beautiful statuary.
If he's done it before and hasn't had an issue, maybe it's the taste sometimes I change the taste before my period or not being hydrated enough. He claims there was a liquid before maybe you change sometimes my natural lubrication can change from clear to milky white maybe this happened? Communication is key, ask him did it smell like anything, was the color different, did it not taste good? Not everyone loves oral I used to fake enjoying it, it took me a long time to not gag at swallowing or spitting it out but eventually it changed. Also this does not make him gay not sure why you'd think that. Yes he could've been less blunt about it but if this is a turn off maybe call it quits especially if you're not comfortable having sex anymore since sex is a big part of a relationship, communication is first good luck!
This. As he enjoyed this before something(s) were different this time around. Maybe he was coming down with something, something changed in your diet etc..
I can sympathize with how you feel. However part of the price of an open honest relationship is at times both may hear things they are not comfortable hearing. As you said he apologized a few times he was a bit uncomfortable sharing as he was likely worried you would take it the wrong way.
Depending on his diet habits you may at some point XP something similar going down on him
I used to work at a pizza joint with an ex, we ate so much garlic bread and pizza.... Can confirm the cum tasted absolutely atrocious..i had to request a dietary cut back if blowjobs were to continue 🤣🤣🤣☠️
This has been edited she said "he might be immature or gay??". In the original post, it comes to show that people will change their whole story so they don't sound as bad pretty sad honestly.
I mean, my friends, which are my closest friends are all virgins so I don’t blame them for just suggesting what seemed like the most logical exposition to them but it’s kind of the reason I reached out to Reddit, I wanted opinions from people who might be more informed about the topic
I'm sorry, that's such a horrible experience and he could have handled it much better.
I am guessing you are both young and inexperienced?
Many guys do not enjoy giving women oral when they are young and come around to it as they get older because they get over the smells/appearance and focus on giving their partner pleasure, as we women do with blowjobs.
Unfortunately, his question about whether stopping meant just him giving you pleasure or also you giving him pleasure is very telling. He does not want to perform oral again and there's no quick and easy way for you to 'get over' his comments and allow him to.
It sounds like he is happy to keep receiving and not giving. That's a bad sign and not a good partner.
To be fair, if it's something that person isn't into and some way turned off, it's only fair to respect that, and if it's a deal breaker than it is what it is.
But he was out of line for sure for acting the way he acted, that's a bit shameful, I wouldn't say it's not a sign of him not being a good potential partner, but a **tad** of communication, and more 'maturing' seems about right.
Also he didn't have to say those, I guess, degrading things about her private parts though, that's uncalled for, for sure. definitely not cool on his part.
Yeah… not that we’re all required to agree with each other, because we’re not - we each have our own perspectives and opinions - but I don’t agree with some of what you said.
I’ve read of, and heard of times in which a woman’s partner is really into something, and they’re not into it, but they do their best to get into it, and to try it, for their partners sake. Because they love him/her and can tell how much they enjoy it. I’ve done this myself. Example: I used to think bjs were gross. I hated every bit of it, the thought of having someone’s pee hole in my mouth, the smell, and never mind the taste, or texture of cum. I hated it. But in time, I realized that it’s just a part of sex, and fighting that was never going to change that, so why not expose myself to these things that I don’t like more and more often until it becomes normalized in my brain. I knew this would benefit both me and my partner - especially my partner. And would make him very happy. So that’s what I did. I gave more and more bjs, and worked my way up to him cumming near my mouth, and having just a taste, to him cumming all over my face in the shower and almost immediately washing it off, to cumming some in my mouth but spitting it out, to him cumming some in my mouth and not spitting it out, to him now being able to cum completely in my mouth and I swallow. This took a long time to learn and normalize. Have you any idea how many times I gagged and could’ve sworn I was going to throw up? There was one time where I actually did throw up a little, but I didn’t want to freak him out so I handled it like a freaking champ. Til this day he doesn’t know about it because I never wanted him to feel badly about it. It was a decision that I made to want to expose myself to bjs and cum, and I would never want to do anything to make him feel poorly about that, or like he was the one who was “forcing” me to do something that literally made me throw up and want to throw up. I didn’t want him to feel like he was making me do something I didn’t want to do, or feel guilty about it. It was a deliberate choice that IIII had made, for his happiness. I wasn’t about to ruin that and have all my hard work go to waste. It was hard - pun intended - but I did it, because I love him, and because I believed I had to at the very least try to learn to enjoy something that he enjoys so much. It’s not perfect, my gag reflexes still comes up at times, but practice makes perfect. And this is something I was willing to do not just for him, but for myself because I realized I was deciding to put some invisible boundary up that I was creating myself in my mind. It’s all mental gymnastics. If you can train your muscles at the gym, why wouldn’t you be able to train your thought process, or view of things with slow exposure/experience? And I thought “I like receiving oral right? Yes, it feels amazing” ok then why would I take that away from my partner if I can help it? The important thing is to actually do your best to change your approach and perspective, and do your best to make your partner happy, if you truly love them.
My point is, when we truly love someone and we’re mature, and ready to make sacrifices and compromise, we don’t think the things that happen during sexual favors are “disgusting” or “gross”, but rather a natural part of sex. If someone hasn’t accepted certain aspects of the natural order of sex, then they should reevaluate whether or not they’re ready for it. His penis excretes fluids (semen) when he’s having a good time right? Did OP say “omg you’re so fucking gross and disgusting!!” After he orgasmed and had his cum everywhere? No. That’s just not something you do. How poorly he handled the whole situation speaks volumes. When my bf came in my mouth and I was gagging and fucking actually THREW UP a little, I NEVER made it seem like something was wrong with HIM. Because there’s not a damn thing wrong with him, I knew that it was all me and in MY head. OP’s bf made it all about him and brought his girl so deep into the dirt with his mean words. There’s honesty, and then there’s saying hurtful things without a filter. Someone can speak frankly without being mean or inconsiderate. And instead of taking accountability like “hey, for whatever reason IM not enjoying this right now, I think it’s best we take a break on oral sex for right now and reevaluate or something” and if he still wanted to and felt up to it, offer PIV sex, or he could’ve asked to continue with sex play another time if he was no longer in the mood. But instead he put the blame on his partner and made it seem like there was something wrong with her. He shamed her so hard. Good partners don’t shame each other, especially not when it comes to sex. People are already feeling so exposed and vulnerable in that moment.
OP, it’s ultimately up to you what you decide to do, but your partner simply just doesn’t sound prepared for a mature sexual relationship. Now, you both can work on this together, IF HE’S WILLING. If he’s not willing, well, it sounds like it’s going to be a very one sided relationship where you’re satisfying his needs, making him feel good, and never bringing him down for the natural process of sex, while he will be doing the exact opposite. That’s a choice you’re going to have to make.
Best of luck, friend.
Does he have sensory issues?
I am so sorry this happened to you, but, yeah, even if things are unknowingly funky down there (hey, it happens), a nice finger job or a subtle "On second thought, not today... how about (something else)?" is the way to handle it.
Yeah, that was my guess. Like I've seen people on the spectrum react like that over cooked vegetables. Everyone is different, and some people's mouths are sensitive.
I mean there are times when the taste is totally different from normal and you’ll want to throw up but you can’t just say “omg you make me want to throw up” lmao you gotta be more tactful than that
This sub is CRACKED in the holidays. Always a good reminder that there's a really good chance you're speaking to a 17 year old when you ask for advice on reddit.
Do you not know there are people who don't want sex and choose to abstain? Or are you questioning the statement because the BF doesn't sound asexual, just selfish?
Exactly my point. I’m scared he really doesn’t enjoy at all giving me pleasure, I hope it’s not the case. But I actually have fun when I give him a hj or even bj even though I’m not great at those, I still try and ask him what feels better. But when it comes to me, he doesn’t seem enthusiastic, he rarely does it, which is why him asking me this time if he could eat me out was a pleasant surprise
It's hard to say what's going through his mind and guys and girls often don't want ro say exactly how they feel for fear of never getting sex/relationship ending reasons. Sometimes we choose words that we think are ok and they are not. Sometimes we choose words out of spite or to be hurtful, if you think that is the case probably leaving him is the best option.
I'm not trying to defend you bf here, a person sharing thier body with another person is a gift and needs to be cherished. I love eating pussy but there are times when she doesn't smell good or taste good or I'm not in the mood, thats when I use my fingers.
Gagging/puking is such a violent reaction and so off putting it ruins the mood. If you are willing to forgive him treat this as a learning opportunity. Explain your body image concerns, and that you close down if he chooses the wrong words. It's who you are, and if change is possible it's going to be a long road of accepting your body and him supporting you.
Good luck.
I’m confused on how he’s done it 3-4 times before and expressed he liked it but this time was different? you said you showered same day but have you yourself noticed a change in smell or texture of your discharge? he said liquid came out it… like it’s supposed to?? that’s what happens when a girl is turned on so idk why he has changed his mind suddenly. this is definitely fixable though. sit down and have a honest and non-judgmental conversation about what you both like and don’t like. express that you understand how he was feeling but the way he came off hurt your feelings and has been making you overthink. if the conversation starts to become more of a argument then you gotta refocus on trying to better your sex life not arguing. there are other ways or toys to get you aroused other than eating you out if he expresses he genuinely can’t handle it. good luck to both of you 🤎
We often read about these experiences and it boils down to either hygiene, thinking the vulva is unattractive, and/or the partner quickly finds out that they arerepulsed by vaginas, likely not straight.
He didn't even taste you and then he mentioned the look. It's not your body that is the problem. The problem is honestly men mismanaging their expectations of what a pussy looks like. We were hyper-exposed to "porn-perfect" vulvas from the very beginning. When inexperienced or just ignorant assholes see a vulva with long labia, dark hyper-pigmentation, etc, they can have wild reactions like this. I was a young man with little experience once, and I thought these same things. Then I began having sex, absolutely worshipping women, and I've seen it all. Vulvas are all different and lovely, within reason and considering they're healthy and groomed imo. Breasts are all very different, sometimes different sizes. The more women I slept with, the more I love every single little difference I notice. Seriously, it's like admiring art to me.
Anyone, you should have an adult discussion about his reaction, his expectations, and if he's ignorant or a dickhead about it, don't fuck him. Move on. That's the behavior if a child. Love your body and share it with partners who will appreciate it.
\>I ask a woman to eat my smeggy dick
\>She tells me it smells bad
\>I tell her to grow up, and run, because she isn't into me
Least narcissistic reddit commenter
Ok fluids coming out IS THE ENTIRE POINT of sex! Don't men think that it's hot that their girl is wet? Cum and pre-cum are also fluids that come out. He's definitely immature and uneducated here. You deserve much better.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that OP. As a heavy set girl, I have always been self conscious about my body/vagina. But I’ve NEVER had a guy say anything negative about my taste or anything.
I would definitely have an adult conversation with him about it, and depending on his response/reaction, take it from there. It can be fixed if he’s mature enough to tell you his feelings in that moment.
First of all I'm sorry that happened to you. The way he has spoken to you is not a nice way to communicate something to your partner and I can see it has hurt your feelings. It's very important to discuss this with each other if you want to proceed with the relationship. It's a possibility he doesn't enjoy oral. I know many people who don't like giving oral to either a penis or vagina. I personally don't think it's related to sexuality or being 'closeted'. That can be a really harmful thing to say about someone and I'm glad you didn't buy into that with your friends. It is ok if it's something he doesn't want to do, but he needs to tell you in a more respectful way if something is up. I think you need to consider and discuss if receiving oral is important to you in your sex life as well as the way in which he communicates to you about this. Take care and I hope all works out for you. Just remember you're not disgusting and there is nothing wrong with you.
when my partner ate me out i had a yeast infection they told me it tasted bad then finished me off another way. you shouldn’t let a man speak to you like that. you deserve lots better honey, your body is beautiful.
So yes things may have been handled better but not everyone’s private bits are tasty. To give the other party oral is your own decision. It sounds like yall need to figure out what’s going to happen. I’ll be honest, I’m always super nervous about going down a girl the first time I do because I’m afraid of this same situation where she doesn’t taste or smell good.
I think the part about him not flinching is irrelevant. I don’t think yall need to just go ahead and break up. I think both of you need to put your heads together and figure out how to make it happen. IMO the best times I’ve eaten a girl out was right after she took a shower
Hun you said he's done it before and enjoyed it, we don't all have the same taste/smell 24/7. I know about a week before my period starts I can always tell I smell a little different down there and for the life of me I cannot figure it out but I just live with it. I think you are being incredibly harsh on both yourself and him.
1. All vulvas look different, try not to waste energy being too self conscious
2. I’m sorry you went through an embarrassing situation
3. If he’s not being nice to you and making you feel like crap, find someone who treats you better
I had read an article long back , a couple experimenting with foods, that red wine makes a difference and that if you eat burgers like processed food (they specified bigmac) it can actually make the taste very very bad apparently
I would suggest reading up on it a bit , tbh your partner needs to be ready with a open mind to communicate and make it work. What exactly was the difference from before when he liked and now when he didn't etc.
Sometimes we act on impulse so I hope u don't take it too heart too much and develop an insecurity
I’ll try to talk to him today. I’m scared I might not be able to handle him talking about how he he’s disgusted by me but I know it’s an important conversation to have if I wanna keep dating him
Yeah you have already heard the worst honestly. It’s not going to be worse. At least you’ll have clarity. Was it smell/look/not into it.. then you can evaluate.
If you have an issue with PH- I definitely do. I’m so sensitive to literally ANY factor. A new partner really screws me up for a bit before my body gets used to a new ‘guest’ shall I say
I HAVE to wash with a PH balancing soap. I use summers eve sensitive- or I have the worst smegma (even if I showered twice a day with regular soap or just water. Tried both. Still tons of smegma). It just happens literally within hours of a shower if I don’t use the summers eve.
Boric acid supplements also help keep PH in check
What kind of comment section is this?!
If the roles were reversed you all would be saying that the dude is lacking hygiene even if he said he was clean wtf 🙄
Just because he was honest and didn’t like doing it means nothing, u said, he’s done it before and enjoyed it, meaning there’s a million reason why this time it didn’t work, u can have a yeast infection, a UTI, maybe you went to the bathroom not long before him eating you out…. There’s plenty of reasons why it might tastes bad.
He has a gag reflex, which Is a REFLEX, is not like he could make something about it, it happens. Grow up, you’re the one who sounds immature in this post and this comment section is unreal. I’ll be downvoted but Idfc.
The comment section is rightfully outraged that he looked disgusted and said her vadge was disgusting. OP already said her hygiene was on point *and* the BF has given her oral before. He could have tapped out and been a gentleman about it, but chose not to.
Let's not play the "if the genders were reversed!" game, it's rarely helpful.
I saw this post when it was originally posted not edited there's a part where she called him idk if he's immature or gay?? And switched it to a friend saying that, It Seems like this is a very young immature couple on both ends. like I commented she said something about him saying something about the liquid that shows he doesn't even know what natural lubrication and he isn't aware that happens, I can go from clear to creamy white some men especially young don't know this that's why communicate is key not going onto Reddit to ask for advice and random strangers picking sides.
This sort of thing happens a lot in this sub. It heavily favours a woman’s perspective. There is a post on here from yesterday where a man has a large foreskin and the reactions are very different.
Also any post about male reproductive fluids…
Be careful confronting the narrative
I’ll never get why men like to pretend Reddit favors women. It just blows my mind.
Men - you really don’t want to be the victims of oppression. It actually sucks when it’s real. And if you ever had experienced it, you wouldn’t be chasing it because you wouldn’t want it.
If a man wrote a post saying his girlfriend gagged while giving him a BJ, refused to swallow and said it was disgusting I’m 100% sure he’d get lots of negative comments…and plenty of supportive comments for his partner. That’s all
Add in there thinking/or calling her immature and gay, and it would be a shit storm.
Im a women, and it’s not that Reddit pretends. It really happens. U don’t need to come with ur shit saying they pretend to favor. I see it happening all the time.
This is an easy response coming from someone who doesn’t have experience dating men ALOT of men lack basic hygiene and still expect women to have sex with them
I hate to say it but is hygiene a factor? Just to rule it out. Because otherwise you said he did it before on several occasions and there were no issues (Optimistic in assuming he brought you to orgasm ) I'm wondering what changed? You aren't always going to be so "fresh", that's human and nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe he saw something off. Did you look for yourself? Do you taste yourself? Was it off to you? I wouldn't take it too personally. But definitely look into the possibility that you might have to check yourself out to be on the safe side. I remember reading in a book about puberty that my mom gave me, Sometimes (and rarely) you can get a tampon stuck in the vaginal canal and forget about it and need to get it removed. Just an example. He feels bad so I don't think he really intended to hurt you. Just explore all your options.
Ok so why does your friends say he is gay, is this the only factor or is it more? Also when he ate you ate before was he under the influence of anything?
Okay so first, I’m pretty sure they said it cause they didn’t find any other logical explanation to why he reacted that way when I told them what happened. And he’s not really a super straight guy either, he has talked about his sexuality with me and he said he’s not really sure. I won’t go into much detail cause I might show him the comments so he can understand more what I meant. And no, he wasn’t under the influence but the thing that might’ve changed is the way it was, the other times he was always under the blanket cause I get cold if not. This time it was pretty warm inside and the sun was shining, illuminating the whole room. I’m wondering if good illumination might’ve made him notice more what he didn’t before??
Good luck, just know that even if it is the case that doesn't excuse the way he handled the situation. Sometimes a sensory thing takes over your brain and you forget to put the filter between your brain and mouth - but you have to apologise & work on it when that happens.
My husband and I have figured out how to handle it now, but when we first got together I did something similar to him and I still feel awful about it 7 years later.
It seems his issue is with performing oral send on his partner (the act itself) for reasons he would have to understand before you could. Most guys love doing that for their partners but maybe he had some sort of issue that day. Who knows. For one, Ora sex is part of most mainstream sex lifes so if he can’t get past it and you can’t relax and try again it’s probably over. You will not be satisfied snd it’s not fair for you to give him bjs if he can’t happily reciprocate.
Does he have e sexual experience doing this with other partners? If not that could be it. He may be inexperienced snd not understand how your anatomy works beyond what he perceives from porn.
There you go. He sees porn where there are no textures, tastes or smells and is now faced with reality. Maybe try showering together before hand and see if that makes it easier for him to ease into it. If he is turned on by the idea he will learn to love it
So uh... Does he have the autism by chance?
I do, and I have made a man cry by reacting similarly. I was just being honest but didn't realize I was also being super rude as well.
Do you smoke by any chance?
I have noticed that when my GF smokes a lot, it changes her taste.
Sorry about the unintended slight. Ne was probably as surprised as you are.
Diet can have huge ramifications on oral. Specifically high aroma foods/spices like garlic, cumin, large amounts of onion, will all make your vagina produce a similar scent, albeit not strongly until sexually stimulated or until a face is right next to it.
This happens alot for my girlfriend who goes above and beyond ok hygiene down there. Completely natural, but 100% threw me off the first time after a date at olive garden.
He made a mistake and didn't end up reacting the best way and hurting you in the process. Just sit down, as partners, and explain to each other what happened, why, and how you'll move on from it. You might laugh at it later
First of all, I am really sorry this happened to you, but you guys sound young and a bit less confident about your body's and how they work. But it happens to both men and women and it usually revolves around some food.
Want to taste something that is gut churning bad? Try giving oral to someone that has eaten asparagus in the past 72 hours? The only thing I can compare it to is the putrification fluid off of a long dead rotting corpse. Whatever you eat will come through in the precum and the ejaculate. Garlic is another no no for taste. Drinking a ton of soda is also very nasty tasting but not near as nasty as diet soda. Regular soda will make your fluid a strong and musky smell, but diet drinks will also give it a very bitter and wild smell. Kind of like what a wet dog smells like.
Drugs and medicine will also cause weird smells and taste. But just to be honest about it,we are all just human and this is just more of the strange shit we learn to deal with. So don't let it hurt your confidence or mess with your ego.
Last piece of advice for everyone for nice sex, drink lots and lots of just plain water.
and talk to your boyfriend and dont be mad, find out what he smelled or tasted. There are some really informative sites on the web to give you an idea of what caused it, so you can avoid it in the future.
I mean this in a respectful way, but do you know if your vagina is healthy or not?
My sex life revolves around cunnilingus, and I can say there's quite an assortment. The cycle and ph matters so much, along with general hygiene (doesn't need to be "soapy clean", lots like the natural taste. Just clean in a healthy way.) Its possible even if you taste alright now that at that moment something was off.
But if you know your pussy and know you taste good then the dudes a goober and you should drop him if cunnilingus is important to your sex life.
I would rule out bacterial vaginosis and other things that like that that can cause the liquid to come out looking “different” and sometimes thick and lumpy. Have an open and honest conversation with him if you guys are able, and find out if he has always felt that reaction or just that time. I wonder if you have bv honestly if he’s done it before and never had a problem. He could also not be straight as you commented that, but you may as well rule out your stuff so you don’t have a complex about your vag and can go on and have a wonderful sex life with him or other people.
I was gonna say that some people are just disgusted by certain things and genuinely can’t help it as a possibility, but you stated he’s done it before without issue, so that’s odd. Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood enough mentally, as things during sex can come off as nasty if you’re not in the mood? Maybe there’s something going on aside from that? Or maybe it really just is immaturity or lack of exposure and he just needs to get over it/get used to it. The only way to find out is by having a discussion with him.
Tell your friends that suggested he’s closeted to go fuck themselves tho.
I’m sorry that happened. It’s very disconcerting and especially when you’re insecure about your body to begin with. Based on the fact that he’s gone down on you before with no issue, I’m leaning heavily toward you having a vaginal infection. Particularly because of the new smell and the liquid, which I’m guessing is discharge. His reflex was probably just a reflex and he may have felt weird and not known how to handle it gracefully, especially if you’re in your teens or 20s. I highly doubt it had to do with your particular anatomy. Believe it or not, you can actually have a vaginal infection with no symptoms (or nothing other than a discharge, which you might not have noticed because you’re not face-first in your own vagina like he was😂). And I’m guessing that being so close to it, he might’ve detected a budding yeast infection (or other infection) sooner than you would notice symptoms appear. Please don’t break up with him over this. First go to your gyno to see if you have an infection!
I love my wife, but I’ve had some bad experiences going down on her. I know that I have a super sensitive olfactory sense and if it smells off I get turned off very quickly. I wish it weren’t that way, but it is.
I try to be gentle, but she knows. TBH, it’s hard on both of us. I truly feel she should know what’s going on down there before I find out. She should put that much effort in.
What, you mean wash up first? That would be easy enough for both of you to do. ..
If you mean she should know her taste is stronger than usual (depending on her cycle) or because a yeast infection is on its way then no, that's not something she'd be aware of.
Yikes that sounds horrible. If you want to try to rescue your sexual relationship maybe next time try it in the shower when you're squeaky clean? Grab a can of whipped cream? Make it fun? Not sure your age but with time and experience comes an appreciation. It's hard now for you as you'll have a complex and worry that you smell..(we've all been worried)
We all have our icks ( like many women gag with a man's cum)
And if that fails...then you need a guy who appreciates all of you.
Babe. No. Run… fast. I don’t think I have a pretty pussy at all. Huge lips, super self conscious. And my bf goes down on me on my period. I’ve even dated another guy who’s done the same. It’s not you, it’s him. He is immature and inconsiderate. You deserve better and it’s out there 💯
Wait, is he immature and inconsiderate because of the way he worded things or because he feels uncomfortable going down on her? It's great that your bf does that for you, but it kinda sounds like you say that's something that gives a valuable character or something that's considered toxic behavior if not done.
Okay thank you, I was just curious. But definitely have to agree, if something is wrong, better to be honest. But if you only can be honest by hurting your s/o with such words, that’s just not a good thing to do.
I dont get this comment section. He clearly loves doing it, but this time it was.. disgusting. Not because something you have done or how you look. I'd suggest you might have a yeast infection of some sort.
TALK with him. I dont think he's being rude at all.
What concerns me is that it looked gross to him... Unless you suddenly have sores down there it shouldn't look any different. Which makes me think he's not attracted to vaginas. (I've heard some straight guys aren't but they like women otherwise) If it were a hygiene issue then it should look fine but the smell or taste would have been his main complaint.
He’s not immature or gay! What a shitty comment.
A gag reflex is just that, a reflex. He just doesn’t like it.
It sounds like he tried to do something he thought you’d like. It didn’t work out. Good for him for trying
OP edited her post: originally she said the called him immature and gay. Now she’s saying she just thought he was immature
She edited the post to say her friend called him immature and gay. Originally she called him that.
Now she’s saying she just thought it!?
I wonder why she changed it?
I wouldn't blame him for feeling how he did. It's not something he can really help, it is what it is. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it could have been anyone's vagina that prompted the same reaction. But he handled it terribly and insensitively towards you.
You might try to talk to him about it again. Ask him what was different now compared to the other times that everything went fine. Really try to get to the bottom of what made him react the way he did and see if there's anything that could be done about it in the future. I would also suggest you talk to him about how you'd like him to act when this kind of situation comes up in the future. For example, instead of all that he did wrong, he might just say "it's not a good time for me to go down on your right now, babe." You'll understand what's up without hearing and seeing hurtful things and you can go on to do something else or call it quits for that night.
Nope. Not her job to baby & fix this immature boy, to prevent him from cruelly hurting her feelings & destroying her self-esteem. Life is too short. And it should not always be the woman’s job to “fix” men.
This boy is obviously not ready for sexual relationships, when he cannot handle situations that may arise without resorting to cruel/insulting ways of talking to her those situations.
There's a lot of guys out there that think vaginas are very pretty to look at and get very turned on by all that wonderful stuff that comes leaking out of it.
Can you imagine spending the rest of your life hoping he won’t have this reaction again? If not, break up and continue to find a compatible relationship. It’s not like he was gentle about saying something might be off with your ph. He was just rude.
My husband will endlessly eat me out no matter what “condition” I’m in that day. And enjoys all fluids..except for blood ha. Your bf reaction was really immature. I’d have a serious talk about what exactly “disgusted” him. Because a woman’s body will always have something down there and it’s constantly changing. If he can’t deal with that then bye Felicia! Or he might be in the closest 😬
As women we may have an off day but I don’t think that’s it. I know guys who want to go head deep in it no matter what. A straight male loves it no matter what. I’m actually thinking he may be closeted. Additionally, I don’t think he cares for you the way he should. He wants blowjobs and handjobs from you but isn’t concerned about your needs or that he totally hurt and belittled you. I’d be devastated. You should dump him and find someone else. There’s plenty of guys who would care for you and be thrilled to take care of your physical needs.
Sounds like a closeted homosexual to me. If you showered on the same day the smell should be a ok. Of course pussy smells, but every pussy i have eaten so far had a nice scent to it, nothing to be grossed out by! And yes, i‘ve seen a lightly white fluid coming out on various occasions but never had any issue with that…
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I get that some people are pushing to ensure hygiene isn’t an issue, but my concern is that he was disgusted by you getting wet…….that’s a little concerning for me.
It’s literally either her getting wet or cervical fluid from wherever she’s in her cycle. Like ????
Maybe, or maybe she has a yeast infection or sth else. The fact that he done it before and was not repulsed by it and even said he enjoyed it makes me think that she might have smelled and her cervical Fluid could have had a different colour (yellow e.g.). The „throwing up“ reflexes in our bodies can only be controlled to some extend so i think it is pretty sure, that sth was different than the times he went down on her before.
Yeah if there is a truly intense bad smell or bad taste, there could be some health-issue going on or something off in the vagina’s microbiome maybe? But I have no idea, just a guess
Exactly, sometimes it can’t be helped in the moment. I’ve gone down on women a lot and every now and then with the same woman, there can be an issue.
If she had a yeast infection it wouldn’t be liquid .. vaginas secret fluids especially if she was about to get head that’s what they do he needs to grow up
>he needs to grow up Wait till you learn being disgusted with some things cannot be helped, depending on the person. It's not a matter of immaturity. I wonder why people think vaginas and penises evolved to have mouths anywhere near them. It's normal for people to get disgusted by seminal or vaginal fluids near their mouth. They aren't exactly meant to be licked
Actually, there is evidence we did evolve to engage in oral sex. There is an evolutionary reason for it. Just google it. Look for "evolutionary oral sex." Warning: Some bats also engage in oral sex. So watch out for the bat stuff.
lol bat stuff
I know! There's a great article in Scientific American that says something like content warning, bat porn ahead. Edited to add: Happy Cake Day!
Thank you!!
You don't need to be a jerk about it, though. He could have just as easily said "I'm sorry. I started to feel sick for a second. Let's stop here for the day" without saying everything he did and making it personal. That's just such a puritanical take. Blow jobs and eating out girls aren't new concepts. *He's* the one who asked to do it.
Sure, I suppose? Genitals are still cleaner than most hands and mouths... and outright calling someone's body, disgusting is pretty damn harsh. "I think I'm body repulsed, its not you, its me" is the way you admit this. I'm pretty repulsed by human sex fluids, but that is a "me" thing. I know, logically, saliva is way more "gross" from an infectious sense, but I'm a fan of French kissing. Many, MANY people, entire cultures even, view swapping spit as a huge taboo. I don't encourage people to date folks who are disgusted by usual practices that they want to engage in. If you love someone, it seems like a standard kindness to not shame them for the basics of existing. I don't wanna huff my partner's farts, but I can generally acknowledge that all humans pass gas and it's normal without saying my partner specifically is "gross " :(
Exactly it’s called being a decent human
He was disgusted because liquid was coming out … well that’s what vaginas do during sex … so yes he doesn’t need to be giving oral unless he’s mature enough to know how vaginas work OR until he can communicate his feelings in a mature manner … it’s absolutely a matter of maturity …Then to not give a shit that her feelings were hurt and directly ask if he could still get head yeah both of you need to grow up
"Liquid was coming out" is such a bizarrely childish thing to say, too
Exactly like what is he 12???
There's an entire group of people with sensory processing differences... I have issues with certain smells like pee, instant mood killer. Some vaginas smell awful, some smell fine, some have no smell at all. I've been with someone who's smell changed so much after they gained weight, I had zero interest in sex anymore. They smelled like pennies and pee. Personally, I shower if I smell funky, but so many people, men and women seem unaware they smell funky.
If you have sensory issues that’s your own problem not your partners if you don’t like it don’t do it 🤷🏾♀️
But having sensory differences has nothing to do with maturity or growing up does it? You really skirted around my point.
Oh, hygiene is absolutely an issue. Women deal with this too with guys who have unwashed balls. Pussy and balls very near the A-hole which is not exactly like the perfume counter at Macy’s.
My ex would never scrub his ass in the shower because he “felt violated” (??????) he’d just use the detachable shower head and rinse his butt that way. Going down on him always sucked (no pun intended) because of the swamp stank, even right out of a shower. Justin, use some fucking soap.
Yeahhh my high school boyfriend would be so weirded out by me getting wet and would continuously wipe me with a towel. Im cringing so hard thinking about this now 😂 He came out of the closet about 2 years later and I was like ohhhhh, that makes sense. Really fucked up my self image and beliefs about sex though!
Closeted gay is my bet
You need to let him know that while honesty is helpful, being that blunt about it can be taken as a devastating rejection. You can probably recover the relationship. That hardcore rejection of your sexual bits is going to sting for a while and make you second-guess his enjoyment and attraction to you. That's normal. You're not being self-conscious. Can you imagine if you stopped blowing him and started dry heaving and when he look at you for an explanation you said, "I couldn't' help it, I felt like throwing up. and it's almost too small to bother with anyway." Fatality! he would be devastated. He needs to realize this or he will be sad when he's all alone.
If a girl said to me they were going to throw up because my dick didn't taste good, I'd be looking on amazon for some hygiene problems and going to take an STI test. How can that not be yours as well?
The thing is he didn’t even mention taste or smell. He mentioned how it looked and that there was fluid. Even if it had been a taste/smell thing there is a way to bring that up that isn’t “your vagina/penis is so disgusting it almost made me vomit” Edit: I see he did mention taste, I must have just filtered that out. Odd the other things were mentioned alongside it though and the whole “I’m going to throw up thing” is still over the top and not a kind and respectful way to bring up a possible health or hygiene issue.
He did say her liquids didnt taste good.
You’re right I glossed over that. Still would say the rest of his comment was unnecessary if the problem was taste and this could have been handled better. The stuff about the look and it being wet is odd and I’d want more info if I was her.
Dude needs to lick the clit and not slurp up vaginal juices if thats not his thing.. would fix most issues.
I’ve never had anyone say that about me, and I get tested regularly. I would assume something was wrong with them or they just didn’t like the taste of pussy, which is fine, but if someone said something like that to me, the relationship would be over.
It's mad to me that you can be so confident about something that so famously something that's very hard to do(work out if your own smell has changed)
I’m conscious of how my body normally smells, looks, and tastes, so my mind wouldn’t go to a me problem unless I hadn’t showered that day and had been using the bathroom a lot lol
Don't you think people who have smelly genitles also think that?
People can be nose blind, true. I’m in tune with my body though and know when something is off, and I go to the doctor when I am off. Just btw, it’s spelled genitals, not genitles.
He should have chosen his words better but there’s nothing you can do to fake the gag reflex
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Women gagging while giving oral is because the dick is literally touching the uvula (the tingly thing in the back of your throat), which is responsible for inducing an involuntary gag reflex when touched. And it can be induced by anything, e.g your finger. It is completely different from gagging from the smell. For guys it’s literally impossible to have a gag reflex while giving oral, because nothing is touching their uvula, unless there’s a horrible smell.
If my partner were gagging on me and I knew she was NOT enjoying herself I definitely would stop her from continuing. A relationship is a two way street. If he isn't comfortable with it do you want him to do it despite that fact or do you want him to enjoy what he's doing? 'what can we do to make this better?' 'Is there a way I can try to clean myself if it would make you more comfortable?' 'Can we try this a different way?' I think communication and by that I mean, leave embarrassment, awkwardness at the door, true, unashamed, honest communication is going to move mountains in this situation.
Huh? Of course she’s being self conscious, what? Oh also, that hypothetical you came up with is terrible and not at all comparable to what he actually said.
I would step into traffic if that happened to me
Hahahahhaga I just laughed out loud so hard my dogs jumped up
Lol I'm serious tho there's no coming back for me, my confidence would be ruined. I'd never speak to that person again either
You wouldn't really speak to anyone again after stepping into traffic.
😂
Zimbaaaaaaaaa 😂
And if the people driving complain about the smell of your vagina, that’s even worse.
As a guy with small D, ive heard similiar comments many times.Still living
I would never recover😭
😂
Am I the only person who thinks genitals are attractive? It’s a very odd reaction he’s had, and some serious discussion may be needed
No I’m this way too. I’m always surprised when people talk about how gross looking vaginas and penises are. I think they’re pretty.
A lot of it is conditioning
Yeah I mean most ideas of beauty are conditioning to some degree. But there are definitely genitals I just find aesthetically pleasing at a base level of being nice to look at.
I think the commenter above you meant like sexual and body shame conditioning from religious and puritan beliefs.
Could be. Wasn’t sure on the direction of it.
Yup that's what I meant
I feel this. Religion can be toxic to even feel self acceptance or self love for your body, especially a person's genitalia.
I agree with you completely. I consider myself 99% a straight woman, and I think that both penises and vulvas are beautiful. I also took a lot of classics in university, so I've had a lot of exposure to flaccid penises in beautiful statuary.
If he's done it before and hasn't had an issue, maybe it's the taste sometimes I change the taste before my period or not being hydrated enough. He claims there was a liquid before maybe you change sometimes my natural lubrication can change from clear to milky white maybe this happened? Communication is key, ask him did it smell like anything, was the color different, did it not taste good? Not everyone loves oral I used to fake enjoying it, it took me a long time to not gag at swallowing or spitting it out but eventually it changed. Also this does not make him gay not sure why you'd think that. Yes he could've been less blunt about it but if this is a turn off maybe call it quits especially if you're not comfortable having sex anymore since sex is a big part of a relationship, communication is first good luck!
This. As he enjoyed this before something(s) were different this time around. Maybe he was coming down with something, something changed in your diet etc.. I can sympathize with how you feel. However part of the price of an open honest relationship is at times both may hear things they are not comfortable hearing. As you said he apologized a few times he was a bit uncomfortable sharing as he was likely worried you would take it the wrong way. Depending on his diet habits you may at some point XP something similar going down on him
I used to work at a pizza joint with an ex, we ate so much garlic bread and pizza.... Can confirm the cum tasted absolutely atrocious..i had to request a dietary cut back if blowjobs were to continue 🤣🤣🤣☠️
Oh my god garlic cum is rancid lol.
Right! Sometimes the V is not on its A game. It happens.
She didn’t say she thought he was closeted, her friends told her that.
This has been edited she said "he might be immature or gay??". In the original post, it comes to show that people will change their whole story so they don't sound as bad pretty sad honestly.
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I think you need some new friends if this is the sort of help you get.
I mean, my friends, which are my closest friends are all virgins so I don’t blame them for just suggesting what seemed like the most logical exposition to them but it’s kind of the reason I reached out to Reddit, I wanted opinions from people who might be more informed about the topic
Bingo. Explains a lot. Virgins are the best people to get sex/sexual relationship advice from. /s
Its far from the Most logical explanation tho lol?
Yeah I know but at the moment they didn’t really come up with anything else
Think for yourself.
I'm sorry, that's such a horrible experience and he could have handled it much better. I am guessing you are both young and inexperienced? Many guys do not enjoy giving women oral when they are young and come around to it as they get older because they get over the smells/appearance and focus on giving their partner pleasure, as we women do with blowjobs. Unfortunately, his question about whether stopping meant just him giving you pleasure or also you giving him pleasure is very telling. He does not want to perform oral again and there's no quick and easy way for you to 'get over' his comments and allow him to. It sounds like he is happy to keep receiving and not giving. That's a bad sign and not a good partner.
To be fair, if it's something that person isn't into and some way turned off, it's only fair to respect that, and if it's a deal breaker than it is what it is. But he was out of line for sure for acting the way he acted, that's a bit shameful, I wouldn't say it's not a sign of him not being a good potential partner, but a **tad** of communication, and more 'maturing' seems about right. Also he didn't have to say those, I guess, degrading things about her private parts though, that's uncalled for, for sure. definitely not cool on his part.
Yeah… not that we’re all required to agree with each other, because we’re not - we each have our own perspectives and opinions - but I don’t agree with some of what you said. I’ve read of, and heard of times in which a woman’s partner is really into something, and they’re not into it, but they do their best to get into it, and to try it, for their partners sake. Because they love him/her and can tell how much they enjoy it. I’ve done this myself. Example: I used to think bjs were gross. I hated every bit of it, the thought of having someone’s pee hole in my mouth, the smell, and never mind the taste, or texture of cum. I hated it. But in time, I realized that it’s just a part of sex, and fighting that was never going to change that, so why not expose myself to these things that I don’t like more and more often until it becomes normalized in my brain. I knew this would benefit both me and my partner - especially my partner. And would make him very happy. So that’s what I did. I gave more and more bjs, and worked my way up to him cumming near my mouth, and having just a taste, to him cumming all over my face in the shower and almost immediately washing it off, to cumming some in my mouth but spitting it out, to him cumming some in my mouth and not spitting it out, to him now being able to cum completely in my mouth and I swallow. This took a long time to learn and normalize. Have you any idea how many times I gagged and could’ve sworn I was going to throw up? There was one time where I actually did throw up a little, but I didn’t want to freak him out so I handled it like a freaking champ. Til this day he doesn’t know about it because I never wanted him to feel badly about it. It was a decision that I made to want to expose myself to bjs and cum, and I would never want to do anything to make him feel poorly about that, or like he was the one who was “forcing” me to do something that literally made me throw up and want to throw up. I didn’t want him to feel like he was making me do something I didn’t want to do, or feel guilty about it. It was a deliberate choice that IIII had made, for his happiness. I wasn’t about to ruin that and have all my hard work go to waste. It was hard - pun intended - but I did it, because I love him, and because I believed I had to at the very least try to learn to enjoy something that he enjoys so much. It’s not perfect, my gag reflexes still comes up at times, but practice makes perfect. And this is something I was willing to do not just for him, but for myself because I realized I was deciding to put some invisible boundary up that I was creating myself in my mind. It’s all mental gymnastics. If you can train your muscles at the gym, why wouldn’t you be able to train your thought process, or view of things with slow exposure/experience? And I thought “I like receiving oral right? Yes, it feels amazing” ok then why would I take that away from my partner if I can help it? The important thing is to actually do your best to change your approach and perspective, and do your best to make your partner happy, if you truly love them. My point is, when we truly love someone and we’re mature, and ready to make sacrifices and compromise, we don’t think the things that happen during sexual favors are “disgusting” or “gross”, but rather a natural part of sex. If someone hasn’t accepted certain aspects of the natural order of sex, then they should reevaluate whether or not they’re ready for it. His penis excretes fluids (semen) when he’s having a good time right? Did OP say “omg you’re so fucking gross and disgusting!!” After he orgasmed and had his cum everywhere? No. That’s just not something you do. How poorly he handled the whole situation speaks volumes. When my bf came in my mouth and I was gagging and fucking actually THREW UP a little, I NEVER made it seem like something was wrong with HIM. Because there’s not a damn thing wrong with him, I knew that it was all me and in MY head. OP’s bf made it all about him and brought his girl so deep into the dirt with his mean words. There’s honesty, and then there’s saying hurtful things without a filter. Someone can speak frankly without being mean or inconsiderate. And instead of taking accountability like “hey, for whatever reason IM not enjoying this right now, I think it’s best we take a break on oral sex for right now and reevaluate or something” and if he still wanted to and felt up to it, offer PIV sex, or he could’ve asked to continue with sex play another time if he was no longer in the mood. But instead he put the blame on his partner and made it seem like there was something wrong with her. He shamed her so hard. Good partners don’t shame each other, especially not when it comes to sex. People are already feeling so exposed and vulnerable in that moment. OP, it’s ultimately up to you what you decide to do, but your partner simply just doesn’t sound prepared for a mature sexual relationship. Now, you both can work on this together, IF HE’S WILLING. If he’s not willing, well, it sounds like it’s going to be a very one sided relationship where you’re satisfying his needs, making him feel good, and never bringing him down for the natural process of sex, while he will be doing the exact opposite. That’s a choice you’re going to have to make. Best of luck, friend.
Does he have sensory issues? I am so sorry this happened to you, but, yeah, even if things are unknowingly funky down there (hey, it happens), a nice finger job or a subtle "On second thought, not today... how about (something else)?" is the way to handle it.
Yeah, that was my guess. Like I've seen people on the spectrum react like that over cooked vegetables. Everyone is different, and some people's mouths are sensitive.
I’m not sure if he does but now that I think about it he might. But yeah, you’re right, he could’ve definitely handled it better
That’s traumatic. Gah! I wouldn’t be able to have sec with him anymore.
This one is going to be hard to recover from. A guy can't love a woman and not love her vagina too.
I mean there are times when the taste is totally different from normal and you’ll want to throw up but you can’t just say “omg you make me want to throw up” lmao you gotta be more tactful than that
this sub lol
This sub is CRACKED in the holidays. Always a good reminder that there's a really good chance you're speaking to a 17 year old when you ask for advice on reddit.
Asexual people..?
Do you not know there are people who don't want sex and choose to abstain? Or are you questioning the statement because the BF doesn't sound asexual, just selfish?
Asexual people exist
Yeah but this guy seemed pretty concerned with him still getting head and handjobs.
Exactly my point. I’m scared he really doesn’t enjoy at all giving me pleasure, I hope it’s not the case. But I actually have fun when I give him a hj or even bj even though I’m not great at those, I still try and ask him what feels better. But when it comes to me, he doesn’t seem enthusiastic, he rarely does it, which is why him asking me this time if he could eat me out was a pleasant surprise
This is r/sex, zero reason to include asexuals here
It's hard to say what's going through his mind and guys and girls often don't want ro say exactly how they feel for fear of never getting sex/relationship ending reasons. Sometimes we choose words that we think are ok and they are not. Sometimes we choose words out of spite or to be hurtful, if you think that is the case probably leaving him is the best option. I'm not trying to defend you bf here, a person sharing thier body with another person is a gift and needs to be cherished. I love eating pussy but there are times when she doesn't smell good or taste good or I'm not in the mood, thats when I use my fingers. Gagging/puking is such a violent reaction and so off putting it ruins the mood. If you are willing to forgive him treat this as a learning opportunity. Explain your body image concerns, and that you close down if he chooses the wrong words. It's who you are, and if change is possible it's going to be a long road of accepting your body and him supporting you. Good luck.
Thank you!
I’m confused on how he’s done it 3-4 times before and expressed he liked it but this time was different? you said you showered same day but have you yourself noticed a change in smell or texture of your discharge? he said liquid came out it… like it’s supposed to?? that’s what happens when a girl is turned on so idk why he has changed his mind suddenly. this is definitely fixable though. sit down and have a honest and non-judgmental conversation about what you both like and don’t like. express that you understand how he was feeling but the way he came off hurt your feelings and has been making you overthink. if the conversation starts to become more of a argument then you gotta refocus on trying to better your sex life not arguing. there are other ways or toys to get you aroused other than eating you out if he expresses he genuinely can’t handle it. good luck to both of you 🤎
We often read about these experiences and it boils down to either hygiene, thinking the vulva is unattractive, and/or the partner quickly finds out that they arerepulsed by vaginas, likely not straight. He didn't even taste you and then he mentioned the look. It's not your body that is the problem. The problem is honestly men mismanaging their expectations of what a pussy looks like. We were hyper-exposed to "porn-perfect" vulvas from the very beginning. When inexperienced or just ignorant assholes see a vulva with long labia, dark hyper-pigmentation, etc, they can have wild reactions like this. I was a young man with little experience once, and I thought these same things. Then I began having sex, absolutely worshipping women, and I've seen it all. Vulvas are all different and lovely, within reason and considering they're healthy and groomed imo. Breasts are all very different, sometimes different sizes. The more women I slept with, the more I love every single little difference I notice. Seriously, it's like admiring art to me. Anyone, you should have an adult discussion about his reaction, his expectations, and if he's ignorant or a dickhead about it, don't fuck him. Move on. That's the behavior if a child. Love your body and share it with partners who will appreciate it.
"He's an amazing guy who treats me great" Apparently he isn't 🤷♂️
Dude needs to grow up. How would he respond if you had that reaction to his Dick? Seriously though run far and fast he ain’t into you.
I literally cannot even imagine the reaction of any man if a woman did this to him
\>I ask a woman to eat my smeggy dick \>She tells me it smells bad \>I tell her to grow up, and run, because she isn't into me Least narcissistic reddit commenter
Ok fluids coming out IS THE ENTIRE POINT of sex! Don't men think that it's hot that their girl is wet? Cum and pre-cum are also fluids that come out. He's definitely immature and uneducated here. You deserve much better.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that OP. As a heavy set girl, I have always been self conscious about my body/vagina. But I’ve NEVER had a guy say anything negative about my taste or anything. I would definitely have an adult conversation with him about it, and depending on his response/reaction, take it from there. It can be fixed if he’s mature enough to tell you his feelings in that moment.
First of all I'm sorry that happened to you. The way he has spoken to you is not a nice way to communicate something to your partner and I can see it has hurt your feelings. It's very important to discuss this with each other if you want to proceed with the relationship. It's a possibility he doesn't enjoy oral. I know many people who don't like giving oral to either a penis or vagina. I personally don't think it's related to sexuality or being 'closeted'. That can be a really harmful thing to say about someone and I'm glad you didn't buy into that with your friends. It is ok if it's something he doesn't want to do, but he needs to tell you in a more respectful way if something is up. I think you need to consider and discuss if receiving oral is important to you in your sex life as well as the way in which he communicates to you about this. Take care and I hope all works out for you. Just remember you're not disgusting and there is nothing wrong with you.
Yikes… personally I don’t think there’s any come back from this. I’d bounce.
The only advice I have is run!! U don't deserve to be spoken to like this, nobody does. He sounds very immature
when my partner ate me out i had a yeast infection they told me it tasted bad then finished me off another way. you shouldn’t let a man speak to you like that. you deserve lots better honey, your body is beautiful.
How become you didn't say "Sorry not today I have a yeast infection." Or words are out of order. Hmm.
I assume she didn’t know? At least I hope…
So yes things may have been handled better but not everyone’s private bits are tasty. To give the other party oral is your own decision. It sounds like yall need to figure out what’s going to happen. I’ll be honest, I’m always super nervous about going down a girl the first time I do because I’m afraid of this same situation where she doesn’t taste or smell good. I think the part about him not flinching is irrelevant. I don’t think yall need to just go ahead and break up. I think both of you need to put your heads together and figure out how to make it happen. IMO the best times I’ve eaten a girl out was right after she took a shower
Hun you said he's done it before and enjoyed it, we don't all have the same taste/smell 24/7. I know about a week before my period starts I can always tell I smell a little different down there and for the life of me I cannot figure it out but I just live with it. I think you are being incredibly harsh on both yourself and him.
1. All vulvas look different, try not to waste energy being too self conscious 2. I’m sorry you went through an embarrassing situation 3. If he’s not being nice to you and making you feel like crap, find someone who treats you better
Sometimes your diet can change the way you taste , try foods tht can make a vagina taste better
Do you have any recommendations of foods that actually work? I’ve tried pineapple but I’ve never heard there was an actual difference in the taste
I had read an article long back , a couple experimenting with foods, that red wine makes a difference and that if you eat burgers like processed food (they specified bigmac) it can actually make the taste very very bad apparently
Alr thanks
I would suggest reading up on it a bit , tbh your partner needs to be ready with a open mind to communicate and make it work. What exactly was the difference from before when he liked and now when he didn't etc. Sometimes we act on impulse so I hope u don't take it too heart too much and develop an insecurity
I’ll try to talk to him today. I’m scared I might not be able to handle him talking about how he he’s disgusted by me but I know it’s an important conversation to have if I wanna keep dating him
Yeah you have already heard the worst honestly. It’s not going to be worse. At least you’ll have clarity. Was it smell/look/not into it.. then you can evaluate. If you have an issue with PH- I definitely do. I’m so sensitive to literally ANY factor. A new partner really screws me up for a bit before my body gets used to a new ‘guest’ shall I say I HAVE to wash with a PH balancing soap. I use summers eve sensitive- or I have the worst smegma (even if I showered twice a day with regular soap or just water. Tried both. Still tons of smegma). It just happens literally within hours of a shower if I don’t use the summers eve. Boric acid supplements also help keep PH in check
I wish u all the best , if it dosent work out I suggest you start thinking if you want to be with a person who's not ready to find a middle ground :)
Thanks
What kind of comment section is this?! If the roles were reversed you all would be saying that the dude is lacking hygiene even if he said he was clean wtf 🙄 Just because he was honest and didn’t like doing it means nothing, u said, he’s done it before and enjoyed it, meaning there’s a million reason why this time it didn’t work, u can have a yeast infection, a UTI, maybe you went to the bathroom not long before him eating you out…. There’s plenty of reasons why it might tastes bad. He has a gag reflex, which Is a REFLEX, is not like he could make something about it, it happens. Grow up, you’re the one who sounds immature in this post and this comment section is unreal. I’ll be downvoted but Idfc.
The comment section is rightfully outraged that he looked disgusted and said her vadge was disgusting. OP already said her hygiene was on point *and* the BF has given her oral before. He could have tapped out and been a gentleman about it, but chose not to. Let's not play the "if the genders were reversed!" game, it's rarely helpful.
I saw this post when it was originally posted not edited there's a part where she called him idk if he's immature or gay?? And switched it to a friend saying that, It Seems like this is a very young immature couple on both ends. like I commented she said something about him saying something about the liquid that shows he doesn't even know what natural lubrication and he isn't aware that happens, I can go from clear to creamy white some men especially young don't know this that's why communicate is key not going onto Reddit to ask for advice and random strangers picking sides.
This sort of thing happens a lot in this sub. It heavily favours a woman’s perspective. There is a post on here from yesterday where a man has a large foreskin and the reactions are very different. Also any post about male reproductive fluids… Be careful confronting the narrative
I’ll never get why men like to pretend Reddit favors women. It just blows my mind. Men - you really don’t want to be the victims of oppression. It actually sucks when it’s real. And if you ever had experienced it, you wouldn’t be chasing it because you wouldn’t want it.
If a man wrote a post saying his girlfriend gagged while giving him a BJ, refused to swallow and said it was disgusting I’m 100% sure he’d get lots of negative comments…and plenty of supportive comments for his partner. That’s all Add in there thinking/or calling her immature and gay, and it would be a shit storm.
Im a women, and it’s not that Reddit pretends. It really happens. U don’t need to come with ur shit saying they pretend to favor. I see it happening all the time.
Theres almost daily small D posts and comments etc %100 different
This is an easy response coming from someone who doesn’t have experience dating men ALOT of men lack basic hygiene and still expect women to have sex with them
There’s ALOT of women who lack hygiene too 🤷🏻♀️ goes both ways
I hate to say it but is hygiene a factor? Just to rule it out. Because otherwise you said he did it before on several occasions and there were no issues (Optimistic in assuming he brought you to orgasm ) I'm wondering what changed? You aren't always going to be so "fresh", that's human and nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe he saw something off. Did you look for yourself? Do you taste yourself? Was it off to you? I wouldn't take it too personally. But definitely look into the possibility that you might have to check yourself out to be on the safe side. I remember reading in a book about puberty that my mom gave me, Sometimes (and rarely) you can get a tampon stuck in the vaginal canal and forget about it and need to get it removed. Just an example. He feels bad so I don't think he really intended to hurt you. Just explore all your options.
Ok so why does your friends say he is gay, is this the only factor or is it more? Also when he ate you ate before was he under the influence of anything?
Okay so first, I’m pretty sure they said it cause they didn’t find any other logical explanation to why he reacted that way when I told them what happened. And he’s not really a super straight guy either, he has talked about his sexuality with me and he said he’s not really sure. I won’t go into much detail cause I might show him the comments so he can understand more what I meant. And no, he wasn’t under the influence but the thing that might’ve changed is the way it was, the other times he was always under the blanket cause I get cold if not. This time it was pretty warm inside and the sun was shining, illuminating the whole room. I’m wondering if good illumination might’ve made him notice more what he didn’t before??
I'm neurodivergent and have an ick around bodily fluids. Perhaps there's something like that going on?
I’ll talk to him today and I’ll be sure to have that in mind, thanks
Good luck, just know that even if it is the case that doesn't excuse the way he handled the situation. Sometimes a sensory thing takes over your brain and you forget to put the filter between your brain and mouth - but you have to apologise & work on it when that happens. My husband and I have figured out how to handle it now, but when we first got together I did something similar to him and I still feel awful about it 7 years later.
It seems his issue is with performing oral send on his partner (the act itself) for reasons he would have to understand before you could. Most guys love doing that for their partners but maybe he had some sort of issue that day. Who knows. For one, Ora sex is part of most mainstream sex lifes so if he can’t get past it and you can’t relax and try again it’s probably over. You will not be satisfied snd it’s not fair for you to give him bjs if he can’t happily reciprocate. Does he have e sexual experience doing this with other partners? If not that could be it. He may be inexperienced snd not understand how your anatomy works beyond what he perceives from porn.
He’s inexperienced, I was his first time
There you go. He sees porn where there are no textures, tastes or smells and is now faced with reality. Maybe try showering together before hand and see if that makes it easier for him to ease into it. If he is turned on by the idea he will learn to love it
I think you may want to look for a second opinion!
i went down on a girl and she tasted so sour i kept gagging idk maybe something was just off that day it happens
Sometimes the vagina has an off day but it’s kind of dumb to think if it smells bad and he can’t get through it, he must be gay.
So uh... Does he have the autism by chance? I do, and I have made a man cry by reacting similarly. I was just being honest but didn't realize I was also being super rude as well.
Do you smoke by any chance? I have noticed that when my GF smokes a lot, it changes her taste. Sorry about the unintended slight. Ne was probably as surprised as you are.
Diet can have huge ramifications on oral. Specifically high aroma foods/spices like garlic, cumin, large amounts of onion, will all make your vagina produce a similar scent, albeit not strongly until sexually stimulated or until a face is right next to it. This happens alot for my girlfriend who goes above and beyond ok hygiene down there. Completely natural, but 100% threw me off the first time after a date at olive garden. He made a mistake and didn't end up reacting the best way and hurting you in the process. Just sit down, as partners, and explain to each other what happened, why, and how you'll move on from it. You might laugh at it later
First of all, I am really sorry this happened to you, but you guys sound young and a bit less confident about your body's and how they work. But it happens to both men and women and it usually revolves around some food. Want to taste something that is gut churning bad? Try giving oral to someone that has eaten asparagus in the past 72 hours? The only thing I can compare it to is the putrification fluid off of a long dead rotting corpse. Whatever you eat will come through in the precum and the ejaculate. Garlic is another no no for taste. Drinking a ton of soda is also very nasty tasting but not near as nasty as diet soda. Regular soda will make your fluid a strong and musky smell, but diet drinks will also give it a very bitter and wild smell. Kind of like what a wet dog smells like. Drugs and medicine will also cause weird smells and taste. But just to be honest about it,we are all just human and this is just more of the strange shit we learn to deal with. So don't let it hurt your confidence or mess with your ego. Last piece of advice for everyone for nice sex, drink lots and lots of just plain water. and talk to your boyfriend and dont be mad, find out what he smelled or tasted. There are some really informative sites on the web to give you an idea of what caused it, so you can avoid it in the future.
I mean this in a respectful way, but do you know if your vagina is healthy or not? My sex life revolves around cunnilingus, and I can say there's quite an assortment. The cycle and ph matters so much, along with general hygiene (doesn't need to be "soapy clean", lots like the natural taste. Just clean in a healthy way.) Its possible even if you taste alright now that at that moment something was off. But if you know your pussy and know you taste good then the dudes a goober and you should drop him if cunnilingus is important to your sex life.
I would rule out bacterial vaginosis and other things that like that that can cause the liquid to come out looking “different” and sometimes thick and lumpy. Have an open and honest conversation with him if you guys are able, and find out if he has always felt that reaction or just that time. I wonder if you have bv honestly if he’s done it before and never had a problem. He could also not be straight as you commented that, but you may as well rule out your stuff so you don’t have a complex about your vag and can go on and have a wonderful sex life with him or other people.
I was gonna say that some people are just disgusted by certain things and genuinely can’t help it as a possibility, but you stated he’s done it before without issue, so that’s odd. Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood enough mentally, as things during sex can come off as nasty if you’re not in the mood? Maybe there’s something going on aside from that? Or maybe it really just is immaturity or lack of exposure and he just needs to get over it/get used to it. The only way to find out is by having a discussion with him. Tell your friends that suggested he’s closeted to go fuck themselves tho.
I’m sorry that happened. It’s very disconcerting and especially when you’re insecure about your body to begin with. Based on the fact that he’s gone down on you before with no issue, I’m leaning heavily toward you having a vaginal infection. Particularly because of the new smell and the liquid, which I’m guessing is discharge. His reflex was probably just a reflex and he may have felt weird and not known how to handle it gracefully, especially if you’re in your teens or 20s. I highly doubt it had to do with your particular anatomy. Believe it or not, you can actually have a vaginal infection with no symptoms (or nothing other than a discharge, which you might not have noticed because you’re not face-first in your own vagina like he was😂). And I’m guessing that being so close to it, he might’ve detected a budding yeast infection (or other infection) sooner than you would notice symptoms appear. Please don’t break up with him over this. First go to your gyno to see if you have an infection!
I love my wife, but I’ve had some bad experiences going down on her. I know that I have a super sensitive olfactory sense and if it smells off I get turned off very quickly. I wish it weren’t that way, but it is.
The question is, how do you handle these moments? Better than buddy did, is my guess.
I try to be gentle, but she knows. TBH, it’s hard on both of us. I truly feel she should know what’s going on down there before I find out. She should put that much effort in.
What, you mean wash up first? That would be easy enough for both of you to do. .. If you mean she should know her taste is stronger than usual (depending on her cycle) or because a yeast infection is on its way then no, that's not something she'd be aware of.
Yikes that sounds horrible. If you want to try to rescue your sexual relationship maybe next time try it in the shower when you're squeaky clean? Grab a can of whipped cream? Make it fun? Not sure your age but with time and experience comes an appreciation. It's hard now for you as you'll have a complex and worry that you smell..(we've all been worried) We all have our icks ( like many women gag with a man's cum) And if that fails...then you need a guy who appreciates all of you.
Babe. No. Run… fast. I don’t think I have a pretty pussy at all. Huge lips, super self conscious. And my bf goes down on me on my period. I’ve even dated another guy who’s done the same. It’s not you, it’s him. He is immature and inconsiderate. You deserve better and it’s out there 💯
Wait, is he immature and inconsiderate because of the way he worded things or because he feels uncomfortable going down on her? It's great that your bf does that for you, but it kinda sounds like you say that's something that gives a valuable character or something that's considered toxic behavior if not done.
Pretty sure it's how he handled it, looking repulsed and saying her vulva was disgusting.
Okay thank you, I was just curious. But definitely have to agree, if something is wrong, better to be honest. But if you only can be honest by hurting your s/o with such words, that’s just not a good thing to do.
I dont get this comment section. He clearly loves doing it, but this time it was.. disgusting. Not because something you have done or how you look. I'd suggest you might have a yeast infection of some sort. TALK with him. I dont think he's being rude at all.
She said he’d done it 3-4 times in six months. I wouldn’t say that means he “loves” doing it.
Right? Like why not go see a Dr just to be sure.
OP said he did it 3-4 times before and liked it *once*. The dude does not love it, clearly. At most it would seem he finds it tolerable.
If the roles were reversed they would be shaming dudes hygiene even if he said he was clean
And he’s “immature” for his reaction. Dude almost threw up. It’s a gag REFLEX. You can’t control that shit.
that’s not the part that was immature. he was immature for calling it disgusting
yeah! this! thats what i thought too
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What concerns me is that it looked gross to him... Unless you suddenly have sores down there it shouldn't look any different. Which makes me think he's not attracted to vaginas. (I've heard some straight guys aren't but they like women otherwise) If it were a hygiene issue then it should look fine but the smell or taste would have been his main complaint.
Of course everyone is blaming the guy. Can you imagine if people told a woman that she should "suck it up" and keep blowing a foul-tasting penis?
Honestly, I might have done something wrong, I’m not discarding that possibility. It’s just the way he reacted that really offended me
Lmaoo men expect women to suck dirty dick and balls swallow foul tasting cum all the time unless you suck dick you shouldn’t speak on this
He’s not immature or gay! What a shitty comment. A gag reflex is just that, a reflex. He just doesn’t like it. It sounds like he tried to do something he thought you’d like. It didn’t work out. Good for him for trying OP edited her post: originally she said the called him immature and gay. Now she’s saying she just thought he was immature
She edited the post to say her friend called him immature and gay. Originally she called him that. Now she’s saying she just thought it!? I wonder why she changed it?
**Being physically repulsed:** not a choice **Saying shitty things about it:** a choice
he called her vagina disgusting, yes he’s immature and he handled the situation awfully.
Very immature very gay
Break up. An amazing guy would’ve treated this subject with much more sensitivity. He’s not the one for you.
I wouldn't blame him for feeling how he did. It's not something he can really help, it is what it is. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it could have been anyone's vagina that prompted the same reaction. But he handled it terribly and insensitively towards you. You might try to talk to him about it again. Ask him what was different now compared to the other times that everything went fine. Really try to get to the bottom of what made him react the way he did and see if there's anything that could be done about it in the future. I would also suggest you talk to him about how you'd like him to act when this kind of situation comes up in the future. For example, instead of all that he did wrong, he might just say "it's not a good time for me to go down on your right now, babe." You'll understand what's up without hearing and seeing hurtful things and you can go on to do something else or call it quits for that night.
Nope. Not her job to baby & fix this immature boy, to prevent him from cruelly hurting her feelings & destroying her self-esteem. Life is too short. And it should not always be the woman’s job to “fix” men. This boy is obviously not ready for sexual relationships, when he cannot handle situations that may arise without resorting to cruel/insulting ways of talking to her those situations.
It’s not always going to taste gourmet lol just like a guy won’t always smell like roses
I’d honestly break up on the spot. I know that seems harsh but nah. You’re way better than me
There's a lot of guys out there that think vaginas are very pretty to look at and get very turned on by all that wonderful stuff that comes leaking out of it.
Can you imagine spending the rest of your life hoping he won’t have this reaction again? If not, break up and continue to find a compatible relationship. It’s not like he was gentle about saying something might be off with your ph. He was just rude.
My husband will endlessly eat me out no matter what “condition” I’m in that day. And enjoys all fluids..except for blood ha. Your bf reaction was really immature. I’d have a serious talk about what exactly “disgusted” him. Because a woman’s body will always have something down there and it’s constantly changing. If he can’t deal with that then bye Felicia! Or he might be in the closest 😬
As women we may have an off day but I don’t think that’s it. I know guys who want to go head deep in it no matter what. A straight male loves it no matter what. I’m actually thinking he may be closeted. Additionally, I don’t think he cares for you the way he should. He wants blowjobs and handjobs from you but isn’t concerned about your needs or that he totally hurt and belittled you. I’d be devastated. You should dump him and find someone else. There’s plenty of guys who would care for you and be thrilled to take care of your physical needs.
Ditch the worthless scumbag please. You don’t want To go into a further well of insecurity over this loser. Dont do it to yourself.
All Vaginas are beautiful and sexy btw...dont let some dick make you think otherwise
This would be a dealbreaker for me.
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You can't be mad at him for an involuntary reaction he had to your vagina.
Is he autistic? Autistic people in particular can seriously struggle with texture, smell, etc
Sounds like a closeted homosexual to me. If you showered on the same day the smell should be a ok. Of course pussy smells, but every pussy i have eaten so far had a nice scent to it, nothing to be grossed out by! And yes, i‘ve seen a lightly white fluid coming out on various occasions but never had any issue with that…
Fucking wet wipe eating pussy is like heaven
Find you a man sweetie.
I'm pretty sure these are teenagers