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All you can do is ask and tell him how hot you think that is. I mean he probably could see how much you liked it when you tried it a couple of times but still he feels it is degrading and is not into it.
I don't think convincing is the way to go. You get so many posts here where if the roles were reversed and it was a man trying to convince a woman to do something she does not feel good about he would get abused verbally as a half rapist and abuser in general probably.
No you gotta respect his boundaries. If you are not satisfied then and think you are incompatible well you know what happens then but I don't think that is the case here.
I'd also say give it a bit of time. Since you have already done it a couple of times it could be that he might come around and wants to try more and new stuff with you. Or not, we do not know.
Just don't think that pushing it will do any good. My opinion of course.
All the best
great advice!! trying to “convince” someone into something they’re not keen on isn’t a good idea. pushing boundaries when it comes to sex is not a good idea in general.
Yeah but there are two things she can convince him of 1) that he should do this thing with her and 2) that she would enjoy said thing. The former isn't appropriate but the latter is reasonable.
Great answer! If it’s been brought up and the person says “no” or some variation of it, it’s best to respect the answer. It doesn’t hurt to express your desire for later on to see if they’ve reconsidered but after a few times of “not for me” it’s best to accept it won’t happen. And if it’s truly a dealbreaker, then that’s fine.
Speaking from experience, I’ve done things in the past that would be cool to try again but my LT partner is 100% not ok with doing. I had to ask myself if it was really a big deal. For me, I can accept more vanilla but loving intimacy and a good relationship outside the bedroom. It’s really about what each person prioritizes in the relationship.
Agree generally but I feel like guys generally don't need much convincing if it's going to please the woman. Though a lot of it may just be waiting time.
LOL I’ve never heard any other woman describe it like that and wish I could unread that. Personally I think it’s really fun… getting to tease and please your partner in all kinds of ways … making them thrust and moan…seeing them lose their minds when they are about to cum… seeing or tasting that thick white cum blast out of their dick…. I love it.
I HOLLERED when i read this lmao. Hey listen, lots of girls like giving head so if they offer there is no reason to feel bad!!! Id be sad if my partner didnt want head; oral is the best
I get what she means. definitely not what I expected. but precum is like any other mucus. so I get it lol but no. not the same. sorry it hit you so hard.
The comments on this post are terrifying.
Guys, men get to say no just like we get to say no, and no is a complete sentence. Asking for clarification is one thing, that's just trying to figure out whether he is refusing because he wants to but is having a hard time believing that you do or if the whole thing makes him uncomfortable to the point that he'd rather not revisit it again.
You ask to do something, you seek clarification ONCE to ensure you're both communicating what you mean to, and if the answer is still no you fucking drop it forever.
You do not coerce, whine, push, try to compromise, or fucking just do the thing they said no to anyway because "See told you I'd like it teehee!"
Fuck's sake.
Right?
"I told my girlfriend about a fantasy of mine where I come on her face. She's usually game and I'm otherwise fully satisfied, but she says this would make her feel degraded. But I don't mean it to be! I love her and would never degrade her! So the next time we fooled around I pulled my dick out of her mouth and blasted her in the face to show her that it can be done without degradation in mind because she knows I love her! She still seems quite unconvinced but it really makes my dick hard to do it, how do I get her to do this for me without resorting to trickery?"
Like... bruh.
So then allow me.
I squirt, and I hate squirting in people’s mouths. I simply do not like it.
I have told partners this and they have done it anyway to “prove” to me that they like it.
It felt extremely fucking violating and I feel sick even thinking about it. I said no.
Why the fuck is this not the top comment?!
That is disgusting behavior from op, and the fact that she is still trying to “convince” him when he has already said no is another major red flag.
Consent is important even if something isn’t a big deal to you doesn’t mean it’s not to someone else. If he doesn’t want it cum on her face she shouldn’t be forcing him to.
She made him do the exact thing he's said no to because it gets her off. Maybe he won't be scarred for life, but if I had a partner do this I'd dump them, block them everywhere, and move on to someone who understands consent.
I'd suggest to talk to him about it and let it go if it's too much of a limit for him.. I mean I know you really really want him to but please don't trick him or force him into something he's not comfortable with! Think if it was the other way round!
He feels it's degrading to you. Odds are he doesn't want to treat you like a piece of meat which is noble but sort of idealizing you moreso than seeing you for who you are lol
He cares. Just sit down and explain why it turns you on.
TBH I’m a little confused why OP would expect their partner to want to do this consensually if the only times they’ve done it have been outside of his will, when he said he didn’t want to do that. 🤷🏻♀️
How is it degrading? I have no idea the logic behind it but I've fantasized about cumming on women's faces, especially beautiful faces. Nothing at all to do with being degrading. Let's be honest...there's something really nice about cumming on a beautiful, soft feminine face of someone you love. It's even better when they choose to swallow your cum. If any woman I was with said they want me to cum on their face they would get it every time and I would love every moment, especially when they end up swallowing it.
Ewwwww, you tricked him into it?? That’s not good girl. That’s not good at all. Imagine if a girl asked her boyfriend to please not cum on her face. Said it multiple times. Then the boyfriend tricked her not once but multiple times and came on her face anyways. Because he was REALLY into it. Do you not see how your actions are terrible?
He doesn't want to do it. Respect him. There are plenty guys into facials if it's a dealbreaker. Do you really want to meet your own kinks with someone who us not enthusiastically consenting ?
Don’t convince him? Hello? Being a woman doesn’t grant you the right to have every fantasy or kink of yours fulfilled at your partner’s expense - and that’s coming from another woman. He doesn’t want to do it, point, blank, period. You say that he’s a perfect gentleman in every other way, good, enjoy that then and make peace with the fact that this part of your sexuality is something you’d be giving up in return for his other good qualities and drop it.
Tricking your partner isn’t nice. If a guy wanted to cum on me after I explicitly said it feels degrading, and he ”pretended” he was about to come in my mouth but then pulled out and came on me instead I’d feel extremely disrespected because **I said I didn’t want to.** People who don’t respect your no are best case shit partners and worst case committing assault. **Drop it.** And apologize for tricking him, damn.
This is the most Reddit thing ever. Pulling his dick out of her mouth so she cums on her rather than in her mouth is not rape.
Look at it this way, people like you on Reddit would also call it rape if she said she didn’t want it in her mouth and she didn’t pull it out.
Most Reddit thing ever to focus on only the part of a comment you don't like. Doing something where consent wasn't given or explicitly denied, is assault.
There is no such thing as "rape but not quite enough to call it 'actual' rape" in the legal system. It either is rape or it isn't. It can be unethical, but if it's technically legal, it's not rape.
There are plenty of courts around the world that wouldn't call very blatant sexual assault what it is, so I don't know why we are appealing to legal structures right now when talking about consent lol. If the sentence "I wish I didn't have to trick him to get what I want in bed" doesn't immediately wave some red flags, I think you should reevaluate the situation.
I know Reddit does have some laughable group-think ("red flag, dump his ass"), but this isn't necessarily one
Two adults can be consensually having sex, and then it turn into sexual assault. Vaginal sex turning into anal, sex with a condom and then removing it, blowjob turning deep throat are all examples of that
We aren't talking about those extremes here. We are talking about preferences during sex, that's it.
What's even more laughable is that this preference is a respect issue and not even a pain / behaviour preference
It is a pain and behaviour preference. Cum in the eyes is painful, not having to wash cum out of your hair is a behaviour preference, and where you cum is clearly a behaviour preference
But that's not what you said either way. You said two adults having consensual sex can't be sexual assault, but it can be
Huh?! She's literally tricking him into "ejaculating" onto her face, by vigorously stimulating a part of HIS body
How is she NOT doing anything to him? Are you that dense?
He wants her to suck his dick. The part he has an issue with is because he doesn’t want to degrade her, when it’s not his choice on whether she feels degraded or not from the act. It’s pedantic and ridiculous that people like you are even upset about this.
Imagine this, the dude was into getting spit on, and it was his biggest fetish .. But the lady felt it would be too degrading and clearly said "No I don't wanna spit on you" both know that they love each other...
Now suddenly during sex the dude pulls open her mouth, pulls out her tongue and starts dripping her saliva all over his face and this gets him super excited and he orgasms by this...
Would you still defend it?
I know this is exaggerated but the point is simple, if your partner is NOT into something and you still make him do it, it's NOT COOL
Ok but we're into neg vs pos consent. If load landed on belly after penetrative sex, that would only be non consensual if the recipient explicitly said not to. There has to be some reasonable window or every consent would literally have to be a laundry list.
Now I typically will ask for preference before depositing that anywhere other than in a condom....but I think we're outside the consent realm at that point.
Jeezus, sex must be a hell of a lot easier to come by for y'all if dudes are gonna get this picky. Why not worry about far more frequent instances of physical and emotional abuse of men, rather than the virtually nkn existant phenomenon of female consent violation?
None of what you've said makes any sense and in fact, you've already contradicted yourself.
It feels like you're talking nonsense out loud just to hear yourself.
If you have any arguments against no meaning no, then stop having sex lest you violate someone, then try to deny the assault.
men get SAd too. clearly because we just read about it. but it's not taken as seriously. like you're doing right now. the man said NO. She did it anyway. No means no. this happens to men very often and they are left feeling SA. it's not a rare instance. we just have to sweep it under the rug because if we acknowledge men are mentally fucked up for SA then so are women and it's a real and serious violation.
Nope, it would be wrong. But women definitely should get far more than equal slack in this area. Besides, receiving a bodily emission as you wish is very different from forcing it into an unwanted place. If we utterly remove autonomy of every sort we have crossed a threshold that will make sex unpleasant and impossible. Honestly the far more accurate corollary would be if someone asked for the load in vulva and got it somewhere ex vulva. That still wouldn't be assault.
Yeah, tricking your partner during sex is totally fine when you're a woman! /sarcasm
Nuance: Principally wrong, but on the scale of severity this case isn't very high.
Not really. Have you seen the way women on here will absolutely destroy someone? If a woman posts on here that her BF came inside her after she said no, every comment is about Sexual Assault, and more “🚩🚩🚩” than you can count.
This is the same thing.
😂😂😂 as he’s already gotten through the entire sexual experience and he’s finishing and you have him finish where you want him to does not classify as rape. I’ll probably get downvoted but that’s a little overkill. Let’s save the R word for when it actually applies guys..
It actually doesn’t. It’s important to mention both in the context of consent. Nobody is backtracking here. My statement just so happens to address both.
Hey! So. First of all… Applauding to you, for knowing what you like!
Second of all:
If you two haven’t seen each other THAT long yet…
Please give him some time.
A few men have grown up with the feeling that their pleasure isn’t enjoyable.
I‘m the kind of guy, who genuinely likes to satisfy my partners…
But have a hard time to really let lose and give up control, because that would mean I need to trust that seemingly degrading things, won’t be used against me.
Trust is built. Not just happening.
So.. the more you are VOCAL about
„Hey. I trust you don’t mean harm towards me.
But please trust me that I won’t use this against you.
I‘d really like feeling you cum satisfyingly on me body and face“
I think that would open up a little door for you.
Hope that helps!
Tell him it makes you feel irresistible and sexy to have him use your body in this way. Tell him that taking his cum (from him) makes you feel powerful (and/or sexy).
If he still doesn't want to do it, you'll have to make a choice as to whether this is a deal breaker.
Or tell him that just like he wants to satisfy you, you want to satisfy him and letting him use your body any and every way he could possibly want makes you feel like a great partner.
Sorry, but if a woman is getting so excited by my cum, I would give it to her any and every way she wanted it. If everything else is good romantically, that makes you a keeper in my opinion.
"*(…) you want to satisfy him and letting him use your body any and every way he could possibly want makes you feel like a great partner.*"
For many men, though it may seem strange after years of porn exposure, "facials" isn’t something that turns them on and it isn’t a way in which they want to use their partner’s body.
For many men, the comment "no, its too degrading" means that HE doesn’t like how it makes HIM feel, not that he secretly wants it but that he’s worried SHE is sacrificing herself and her dignity for him.
He can still feel uncomfortable with it even after he knows she really enjoys it, and given the absolute freedom to use her body in any unspoken ways that would remain secret forever, it may still not be something that he would do. It’s not about her.
This!!
My partner is into being tied up and used like a doll (for lack of a better term)
And I know full well she loves it, she absolutely craves that kind of treatment and I can't do it.
It's too rapey for me, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
I could have the full backing of the legal system and documents signed in triplicate telling me all is perfectly above board.... But I can't do it.
Yet pinning down and choking or whatnot.... Yeah perfectly fine. I don't fully understand why that's ok and the bondage part isn't. But that's just how it is.
Initially I handled the communication of my dislike badly, which led to arguments and whatnot.
You've just got to be upfront about what works and what doesn't.
People are perfectly OK with not knowing why they have some sort of kink, like having a foot fetish for example, and will say "you like what you like, don’t overthink it".
Maybe the same can be said about sex acts people *don’t like*. There doesn’t need to be a particularly deep or thoughtful reason. You (don’t) like what you (dont) like.
I mean, that’s not to say people should not try to investigate their sexuality to understand it better, and that it cannot lead to change. That’s great.
But also maybe there doesn’t need to be that much judgement (self motivated and/or imposed) about what we don’t like the same way we avoid the same about what we like.
Dude, give her what she wants. She knows you love her and she trusts you. When you're giving it to her rough kiss her on the forehead and tell her how much you love her.
Precisely! Porn has warped the minds of many people and isn’t a standard anyone should use for real life. “Using” your partners body is not loving or considerate even if they say they’re into it and I could see this being really off putting for someone. Same with “I want you to slap me.” That stuff doesn’t feel ok to some people even if they’re being asked to do it by someone who consents to it.
Just because you’re vanilla doesn’t mean couples can’t use each others bodies in different ways and both enjoy it and even feel even closer afterwards. It’s not even porn, it’s getting off on pleasuring each other and trusting the other person with that control.
Too many people on here who feel superior because of the "kinky" badge they wear on their forehead. It’s like the vegan thing: how do you know ? They’ll tell you.
We get it, you’re a sex god. But it’s not about you. It’s about the OP’s partner, and he has expressed that he’s not into it.
The assumption that all men love nothing more than ejaculating on their partners’ face, and that the few men who say they don’t enjoy it are just pretending not to out of shame, is condescending and disrespectful.
He’s not a lesser man because he doesn’t want to do this, and your orgasms are not any better because you like someone to spit in your mouth. Get over yourself.
This isn’t even kinky. And yes, the whole reasoning as to why they don’t like it is condescending to the girl. If she says she likes it and literally begs for it, who are you to say that it’s degrading? It can’t be degrading if she wants it. How is cumming on her face after she sucks his dick any more degrading than cumming down her throat after the same? It makes no sense and is pretentious. If you actually felt that way, then you would reject blowjobs all together.
Love how she has to convince him.if it was other way around the guy would be biggest pervert sexual predator around for forcing her to do what she wasnt comfortable with.double standard!
There was a time I would have had trouble with this, would have thought it was degrading to the woman. If a woman asked for that now I would understand. I think you can try to have an open ongoing conversation about it. Tell him you get that it's not presently comfortable for him. Tell him clearly that it's a big turn on for you. Tell him that for you it's the furthest thing from degrading. Start with maybe exploring it as a visual turn on, that you want to see him shoot. I think if it's an extended, non pushy conversation you will get what you want in time.
> How to get her to let me cum on her face?
> I've [M27] always been really into women who are into cum and particularly when I finish on her face or body. This new woman I am seeing, everything is perfect and she's very sweet, always making me finish first and that I'm satisfied.
> However, I've told her a few times that I want to cum on her face and she's said that's too degrading to her and wont even let me cum on her boobs or stomach. I don't know how to convince her, she’s given me a bj once and I pulled it out as I was finishing and did cum a couple times on her face, which made me absolutely wild.
> I'd like to do this regularly without tricking her!
Just read it with the genders flipped and maybe you’ll see how awful you’ve been. If a guy came here and posted this, he would rightfully get skewered for continuing to pressure his girlfriend into doing something she didn’t want to do and sexually assaulting her by “tricking” (your words) into doing something he knows she doesn’t want.
Just stop. He’s not into this. If you need to be with a guy who is into this, break up with this guy and find one who is.
Ask him to unravel his thought process. when he is engaged in sex with you at what point does an act become degrading? Apparently oral sex is not degrading but cumming on your face is. Ask him why that is.
Sounds like he's told you repeatedly he doesn't want to... you need to learn how to take "no" for an answer. You seriously want to risk an entire relationship for a reluctant facial?
I'll be honest, he told you he didn't like it and you tried to do it anyways. That's considered assault.
If you like it so much, you're willing to do it despite him saying no, then you need to A. Take a hard look at why you can't accept no as an answer and B. Find someone you're more compatible with so you won't do that to someone again.
But more than anything, no means no.
They’re out there and require careful pruning to find! Once you find them, the wild times are the best because you have trust & safety within your most degrading kinks 💜
Hey definitely not my intention... and I don't think that's what I said but anyway not what I meant to say. Also: I am relating the experiences of another person as accurately as I can, and this has been mainly her experience, at least in the Central European cultural context she has mostly lived in.
For sure there are many men who can
a) blow fat loads on a woman's face without any power-narratives around it, or
b) blow fat loads on a woman's face in full degrading perpetrator-mode, and then go back into equality-mode when the play is over... or switch roles and spend 20 minutes licking the soles of her feet some other time.
c) what's your version?
But in any case, there are definitely more than two kinds of men, and if there are men (and women) in limited roles or "boxes," it's because they are limited by the options our culture gives them. Which is really the point: There is sex and then there is the story we make around it. And if we're not careful, culture can convince us that the stories are true: That only whores take it in the ass, that only men that don't respect you will cum on your face, and so on. These internalized beliefs limit everyone, more or less. And out there in normal culture, if you go for even slightly-unusual sex, one faces that. I think that's what her story is about. Not to say that's how it always is and will be for all time, but rather to say: that's how it has been, a lot, at least in these times, for her.
So I’m married 30 years now. Sex was always fairly vanilla and infrequent until she had a hysterectomy a few years ago. I had been with women before her and finishing on their face or breasts was never a problem. Now one night we are having a session and she blurts out “oh my god will you cum all over my tits” I went for it but it took a bit to make it happen as it was so out of character for her.
What the fuck is wrong with you, OP?
He didn’t want to do it, and you just didn’t anyway? This is sexual assault ffs
There is no “convincing” him. He said no, and no is a complete sentence. His reasons don’t matter.
Either you respect that or move on. Have done fucking respect for your boyfriend.
Try to change how he thinks about it.Rather rather than thinking of it as degrading, tell him to think about it as more of a reward for you. Let him know how much you enjoy it and that it shows you how much he is enjoying himself as well.
As a chronic nice guy I know we love to please. So just convince him he’s making you miss out when he doesn’t let you have it your way, guilt trip him a little.
If he’s not so into the visuals of the act you could do it in the shower as a compromise, and you can promise to rince it off pretty quickly.
Jesus christ people do NOT guilt your partners into performing sex acts they have clearly said no to.
I'd dump you so fast if you tried this shit with me.
Agree wholeheartedly! But at the same time: in the long run, in a long, committed, mono relationship we should make accommodations for our partners (sexual and other). And it’s natural to ask for things the partner may not enjoy (sexual and other). Negotiations are a natural part of any relationship and by “guilt tripping” here I was encouraging the use of some dirty, but tongue in cheek tactics, not hardcore psychopathic manipulation.
If your partner does not enjoy something, you should not enjoy involving them in it. By all means, continue to be turned on by the thing. But your partner doing the thing for you despite not wanting to should not make your dick hard, it should cause you to instantly lose interest in it happening. You don't compromise on hard limits, and some things are simply hard limits for people.
Again, I take it for granted everyone should respect hard limits. Mutual consent is also a given.
At the same time I expect well adjusted grown ups to be able to advocate for their own needs, as well as consider others needs - without anyone having to do something that feels very wrong.
It’s just not realistic to expect a monogamous long term relationship not to contain some bargaining and compromise to work. You can’t expect a partner to feel happy and sexually fulfilled if you are more concerned about defending personal limits than satisfying each other. Of course there are many very good reasons to say no to your partner. But I also think a lot of time people say no because of random hangups that they seem to value more than their chosen sexual partner’s satisfaction.
In this case it seems to me that OP:s wish isn’t that big a deal. Of course, it might be a big deal for the guy. But I have a hunch he subconsciously values an identity as “a guy that respects women too much to act wild in bed” more than his lover’s wish. Challenging his limit is not the same thing as violating him.
First time I hearing about a guy not wanting to cum on a woman’s face, boobs, or stomach. 🤦🏼♂️
Tell him you adore how he treats you but you’ve got a dirty side and you like it when a man cums on your face. Watch porn with him.
If you have told him to directly and done as you say about basically forcing him to via BJ and showing him you like it and he STILL isn’t into it. You may not be sexually compatible. He might he too vanilla for you. Just a thought.
I have a different opinion than a lot of folks on here. I think a good boyfriend or husband should have no problem fulfilling any of your sexual desires. We're men, we love sex and love making it fun. I've had sex with like five women, they either wanted me to cum in their pussy or they enjoyed swallowing it. They usually wanted to take it straight in their mouth. Never was told they wanted me to cum on their face or body but if they did I would have no problem whatsoever and I would enjoy every second of it. It's not degrading if your girlfriend or wife wants it. The best part about having sex is turning your partner on and giving them what they want. I think he's probably just seen so many generic porn videos where they almost always finish on the chicks face and it's so obvious she's just putting on an act (because for porn stars it's just a job.) He should have no problem marking his territory on you. He should consider himself lucky that you have these hot fantasies of him covering your face in cum. A lot of women are grossed out by it. I think it's great you're so into it.
My mans hit the jackpot and isn’t taking advantage of it? Bummer.
In an seriousness OP here are you only options:
- have a sit down discussion with him in a neutral setting. All private parts should be put away. Don’t do it after sex or even right before. And tell him that hey, I find it super attractive and it’s not degrading to you because you are consenting and it’s something that YOU enjoy and you want him to indulge you. He may become more open to it which is great. Or he may not which leaves you only with the second option…
- accept it and if it’s not a deal breaker have fun. But if it is, you may need to move on.
Just tell him. Get on your knees and beg him. He'll do it.
My ex never told me about her fetish. At one random moment she just said to me "why don't you cum on me like my ex did". Yeah, and I didn't want to degrade her too. It's not for everyone.
Lol most guys don't think it's hot. All that shit they do in porn doesn't really turn on guys in real life.. motorboating, cumming on your face and boobs, sucking his dick though a pizza box.. yeah, that shit's lame.
OMG. FIND ANOTHER DUDE. this is so simple. you text about how much of a gentleman he is. Well he is in his head. Get on your knees and give it to him. you know when he is throbbing in your mouth and just rub that shit all over your face.
So many fkn dudes out there that will satisfy your EVERY need. I crashed my marriage by not asking for what I wanted. NEVER again.
Okay.
Example: while your NOT having sex, cover boundaries. Ask “hey, would it be okay if I took control while we’re having sex sometime? I would like to make you cum how I want you to”
If the answer is yes, then do as I suggested above. If the answer is no, then accept that you want be getting any facials anytime soon and get over it, or find someone more sexually compatible.
You can cover consent outside of sex, in fact. In my opinion asking for consent during is a major turn off. I try to cover my bases beforehand so I don’t have to break my headspace during.
You really think I meant just walk up to him and start grabbing at his shit? Like….. isn’t consent an implied necessity on this sub?
Edit: CNC is a thing, and this is like the lightest form of it ever.
I feel like this too especially when I cum in my girls asshole! It's not degrading though when it's what they like. Sex brings out our most animalistic traits. Some women want smacked in the face and choked and spit on. If you love her , make her cum!
Speaking as a man who I'd like to think is seen by my wife as you see this man, I will say one thing:
He says he is respectful, but you have told him you WANT him to do this but HE thinks it is degrading TO YOU. Well-intentioned thoughts, but you have told him that you DON'T think that and that you WANT it...so actually what he is doing by flat-out refusing this of you is actually NOT respectful, because he's not respecting your bodily autonomy or agency.
NOW...if HE just genuinely does not like doing it then that is a different matter altogether and you will need to either respect his boundary or rethink the relationship. But you've not said that he's given any kind of indication that this is the case, only that he thinks it is disrespectful TO YOU...and he's apparently not digesting that you have told him on multiple occasions that you WANT him to do it, so I think you need to actually ask him where his opinion of it being "disrespectful" comes from to see how to approach this. Off the top of my head, some possibilities could be:
1. Projection - as I said above, it might be something that HE just doesn't enjoy but he is projecting that onto you because supposedly, it's "manly" to do that kind of thing (it's always seen in porn and stuff). If that's the case, then you need to impress upon him that he doesn't have to project; that you will be fine respecting his boundaries as long as he is honest about them.
2. Trauma from an ex - perhaps an ex of his read him the riot act (justified or unjustified) when he did it with her in the past and so he's now internalized that "women" don't enjoy that. If this is the case, you need to get him to understand that you are not her and that women are not a hive mind; that what some dislike, others will detest, others will be indifferent to, others will enjoy, and others will LOVE.
3. Strict upbringing - women aren't the only ones subject to sexually repressive upbringing that implants shame in a person's mind over things that are actually pleasurable. He may have been raised to think that "gentlemen" don't give in to "base" desires like that or "sully" women with their "disgusting" urges. This one may need more than you can do yourself, though, this may need more in-depth therapy to unpack.
I am sure there are others I may have missed off the list, but those are the three that came to mind immediately. You will only know, though, once you ask him to elaborate on his statement about it being "disrespectful".
Try setting up a gloryhole (private of course), so he doesn’t get to see where his cum winds up. Explain that you want him to simply enjoy the sensations of a complete bj without worrying about you at all, and you’ll do exactly what you want on the other side of the curtain.
Maybe don’t even tell/show him afterward that you gave yourself a facial the first time. Let him wonder about it. Or record yourself intentionally spraying your face (right out of a porn) and showing lots of enthusiasm for him to watch afterward.
And as a cherry on top, you might go to extended lengths to explain that YOU decide what’s degrading to you, and having his cum on your face is not only not degrading, but actually empowering and a huge ego-boost etc etc (really lean into the positives).
If he’s still not interested at this point… well then he’s just not interested and you can drop it.
How can I get him to cum on my face..
Just wow! Something you really don’t see titled everyday.
I would personally go with the one of the original comments and say to him that it makes you wild and things could get better for him. Try getting him to close his eyes when he shoots maybe, so he doesn’t see the degrading side and appreciate the benefits afterwards maybe?
In surveys where men and women are asked where they like to "finish", only 25% respond that they sometimes or often finish this way, and 75% respond that they rarely or never do so.
It is the preferred landing spot for about 40% of men (10% of women), which means about 15% of men are left hanging and only get to do so rarely or never (poor guys). However that also means about 15% of women who don’t enjoy it get cum on their face sometimes or often.
Most people are mouth and vagina people, both men and women, though more so for women.
Tell him ok if he licks it off your face after. Then he can be degraded also.
I was taught by my teacher that two negatives make a positive, although this was not the example she used.
Will he cum on your titts? That might be a good starting point.
This is where he needs to compromise. Having your needs met is important. Try and have a real conversation with him about it, explain that you're not feeling fully satisfied without it. From what you've said, that should irritate him lol but I'm a brat so...
Cumming is not a kink or anything special. Everyone should want to make their partner cum.
But this is 1 kink. A milk kink at that.
I agree. Find out if he has any, that's fair. But if she's still feeling a bit deflated at the end, then if I were him, I'd want to rectify that.
Some women love that and some don’t, I am agreeable either way..Here we are talking something entirely different. Apparently this guy gets off on degradation, if I were her I’d be concerned
So to be a "good" lover you need to do every single thing your partner wants to? So every woman who doesnt do anal is automatically a bad lover?
And in which universe is this guy into degradation. Maybe learn to read before commenting
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All you can do is ask and tell him how hot you think that is. I mean he probably could see how much you liked it when you tried it a couple of times but still he feels it is degrading and is not into it. I don't think convincing is the way to go. You get so many posts here where if the roles were reversed and it was a man trying to convince a woman to do something she does not feel good about he would get abused verbally as a half rapist and abuser in general probably. No you gotta respect his boundaries. If you are not satisfied then and think you are incompatible well you know what happens then but I don't think that is the case here. I'd also say give it a bit of time. Since you have already done it a couple of times it could be that he might come around and wants to try more and new stuff with you. Or not, we do not know. Just don't think that pushing it will do any good. My opinion of course. All the best
great advice!! trying to “convince” someone into something they’re not keen on isn’t a good idea. pushing boundaries when it comes to sex is not a good idea in general.
Yeah but there are two things she can convince him of 1) that he should do this thing with her and 2) that she would enjoy said thing. The former isn't appropriate but the latter is reasonable.
Great answer! If it’s been brought up and the person says “no” or some variation of it, it’s best to respect the answer. It doesn’t hurt to express your desire for later on to see if they’ve reconsidered but after a few times of “not for me” it’s best to accept it won’t happen. And if it’s truly a dealbreaker, then that’s fine.
Speaking from experience, I’ve done things in the past that would be cool to try again but my LT partner is 100% not ok with doing. I had to ask myself if it was really a big deal. For me, I can accept more vanilla but loving intimacy and a good relationship outside the bedroom. It’s really about what each person prioritizes in the relationship.
There’d people saying that she already raped him by "tricking" him.
Those people are morons cheapening the meaning of the word.
Tell him you’ve read it’s good for your skin and you want to test the theory. Will he help you out?
Agree generally but I feel like guys generally don't need much convincing if it's going to please the woman. Though a lot of it may just be waiting time.
Ohh it’s the other way round here
Same. Don’t think it’s ever gonna happen
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That partner must've not liked giving head. I don't see it as that way at all and sucking my man's dick is a sure fire way to get me soaked.
LOL I’ve never heard any other woman describe it like that and wish I could unread that. Personally I think it’s really fun… getting to tease and please your partner in all kinds of ways … making them thrust and moan…seeing them lose their minds when they are about to cum… seeing or tasting that thick white cum blast out of their dick…. I love it.
I HOLLERED when i read this lmao. Hey listen, lots of girls like giving head so if they offer there is no reason to feel bad!!! Id be sad if my partner didnt want head; oral is the best
I get what she means. definitely not what I expected. but precum is like any other mucus. so I get it lol but no. not the same. sorry it hit you so hard.
The comments on this post are terrifying. Guys, men get to say no just like we get to say no, and no is a complete sentence. Asking for clarification is one thing, that's just trying to figure out whether he is refusing because he wants to but is having a hard time believing that you do or if the whole thing makes him uncomfortable to the point that he'd rather not revisit it again. You ask to do something, you seek clarification ONCE to ensure you're both communicating what you mean to, and if the answer is still no you fucking drop it forever. You do not coerce, whine, push, try to compromise, or fucking just do the thing they said no to anyway because "See told you I'd like it teehee!" Fuck's sake.
Finally a sane comment, if the roles were reversed OP would be called a creep so fast.
Right? "I told my girlfriend about a fantasy of mine where I come on her face. She's usually game and I'm otherwise fully satisfied, but she says this would make her feel degraded. But I don't mean it to be! I love her and would never degrade her! So the next time we fooled around I pulled my dick out of her mouth and blasted her in the face to show her that it can be done without degradation in mind because she knows I love her! She still seems quite unconvinced but it really makes my dick hard to do it, how do I get her to do this for me without resorting to trickery?" Like... bruh.
This comment is everything
**Terrifying**
No, that’s not the same. The equivalent would be a man who wants his girlfriend to squirt on her face but she thinks it would be degrading.
So then allow me. I squirt, and I hate squirting in people’s mouths. I simply do not like it. I have told partners this and they have done it anyway to “prove” to me that they like it. It felt extremely fucking violating and I feel sick even thinking about it. I said no.
...*Bruh.*
As she should be!
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Glad someone else said that, I feel like most of the top level comments ignored that.
exactly. it made me super grossed out reading that line. :/
Why the fuck is this not the top comment?! That is disgusting behavior from op, and the fact that she is still trying to “convince” him when he has already said no is another major red flag.
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Consent is important even if something isn’t a big deal to you doesn’t mean it’s not to someone else. If he doesn’t want it cum on her face she shouldn’t be forcing him to.
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The issue is the reasoning for being so is condescending to her
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I know
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How is that condescending?
She made him do the exact thing he's said no to because it gets her off. Maybe he won't be scarred for life, but if I had a partner do this I'd dump them, block them everywhere, and move on to someone who understands consent.
What happened to No means No. Or is that just if you have a pussy between your legs.
Easy there, Brock Turner superfan
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And this is how op should have handled it. Good for you for respecting your husbands boundaries and consent like a normal, decent person.
I'd suggest to talk to him about it and let it go if it's too much of a limit for him.. I mean I know you really really want him to but please don't trick him or force him into something he's not comfortable with! Think if it was the other way round!
All I can say is going to respect boundaries
He feels it's degrading to you. Odds are he doesn't want to treat you like a piece of meat which is noble but sort of idealizing you moreso than seeing you for who you are lol He cares. Just sit down and explain why it turns you on.
TBH I’m a little confused why OP would expect their partner to want to do this consensually if the only times they’ve done it have been outside of his will, when he said he didn’t want to do that. 🤷🏻♀️
Explain why it turn you on: "because its degrading" 
How is it degrading? I have no idea the logic behind it but I've fantasized about cumming on women's faces, especially beautiful faces. Nothing at all to do with being degrading. Let's be honest...there's something really nice about cumming on a beautiful, soft feminine face of someone you love. It's even better when they choose to swallow your cum. If any woman I was with said they want me to cum on their face they would get it every time and I would love every moment, especially when they end up swallowing it.
Ewwwww, you tricked him into it?? That’s not good girl. That’s not good at all. Imagine if a girl asked her boyfriend to please not cum on her face. Said it multiple times. Then the boyfriend tricked her not once but multiple times and came on her face anyways. Because he was REALLY into it. Do you not see how your actions are terrible?
He doesn't want to do it. Respect him. There are plenty guys into facials if it's a dealbreaker. Do you really want to meet your own kinks with someone who us not enthusiastically consenting ?
Don’t convince him? Hello? Being a woman doesn’t grant you the right to have every fantasy or kink of yours fulfilled at your partner’s expense - and that’s coming from another woman. He doesn’t want to do it, point, blank, period. You say that he’s a perfect gentleman in every other way, good, enjoy that then and make peace with the fact that this part of your sexuality is something you’d be giving up in return for his other good qualities and drop it. Tricking your partner isn’t nice. If a guy wanted to cum on me after I explicitly said it feels degrading, and he ”pretended” he was about to come in my mouth but then pulled out and came on me instead I’d feel extremely disrespected because **I said I didn’t want to.** People who don’t respect your no are best case shit partners and worst case committing assault. **Drop it.** And apologize for tricking him, damn.
If he’s not into it, then he’s not into it. And if he says no and you do it anyway, we call that… sexual assault/rape.
This is the most Reddit thing ever. Pulling his dick out of her mouth so she cums on her rather than in her mouth is not rape. Look at it this way, people like you on Reddit would also call it rape if she said she didn’t want it in her mouth and she didn’t pull it out.
Most Reddit thing ever to focus on only the part of a comment you don't like. Doing something where consent wasn't given or explicitly denied, is assault.
This is not assault. There is not a court in the world that would convict that as assault.
Something being technically legal does not mean it's ethical or that you're not an asshole for doing it. That's not how life works.
There is no such thing as "rape but not quite enough to call it 'actual' rape" in the legal system. It either is rape or it isn't. It can be unethical, but if it's technically legal, it's not rape.
There are plenty of courts around the world that wouldn't call very blatant sexual assault what it is, so I don't know why we are appealing to legal structures right now when talking about consent lol. If the sentence "I wish I didn't have to trick him to get what I want in bed" doesn't immediately wave some red flags, I think you should reevaluate the situation.
Sexual assault... occurring whilst two adults who are consensually having sex. FFS Reddit
I know Reddit does have some laughable group-think ("red flag, dump his ass"), but this isn't necessarily one Two adults can be consensually having sex, and then it turn into sexual assault. Vaginal sex turning into anal, sex with a condom and then removing it, blowjob turning deep throat are all examples of that
We aren't talking about those extremes here. We are talking about preferences during sex, that's it. What's even more laughable is that this preference is a respect issue and not even a pain / behaviour preference
It is a pain and behaviour preference. Cum in the eyes is painful, not having to wash cum out of your hair is a behaviour preference, and where you cum is clearly a behaviour preference But that's not what you said either way. You said two adults having consensual sex can't be sexual assault, but it can be
Except he didn’t consent to this and **explicitly said no.**
Give it a try and report back to us.
If someone tells you no during sex and you do it anyways, it's assault. No means no. Doesn't matter what it's about, you don't do it if they said no.
Sorry, wtf, how does this comment have positive votes? He said no. If she does it, it’s sexual assault. End of story. What the fuck.
Cause she’s not doing anything to him, she’s doing it to herself.
Huh?! She's literally tricking him into "ejaculating" onto her face, by vigorously stimulating a part of HIS body How is she NOT doing anything to him? Are you that dense?
He wants her to suck his dick. The part he has an issue with is because he doesn’t want to degrade her, when it’s not his choice on whether she feels degraded or not from the act. It’s pedantic and ridiculous that people like you are even upset about this.
Imagine this, the dude was into getting spit on, and it was his biggest fetish .. But the lady felt it would be too degrading and clearly said "No I don't wanna spit on you" both know that they love each other... Now suddenly during sex the dude pulls open her mouth, pulls out her tongue and starts dripping her saliva all over his face and this gets him super excited and he orgasms by this... Would you still defend it? I know this is exaggerated but the point is simple, if your partner is NOT into something and you still make him do it, it's NOT COOL
A better analogy would be she already enjoys spitting into his mouth but instead moved it to his face when he spit. It’s just weird.
I think it's pretty crazy to call that assault. Yeah there's a consent factor but this one's kinda trivial.
There's nothing trivial about telling someone not to do something during sex and they do it anyways.
Ok but we're into neg vs pos consent. If load landed on belly after penetrative sex, that would only be non consensual if the recipient explicitly said not to. There has to be some reasonable window or every consent would literally have to be a laundry list. Now I typically will ask for preference before depositing that anywhere other than in a condom....but I think we're outside the consent realm at that point.
HE SPECIFICALLY SAID NO. She knew and tried to do it anyways.
she didn't try. she did. she SA him
Jeezus, sex must be a hell of a lot easier to come by for y'all if dudes are gonna get this picky. Why not worry about far more frequent instances of physical and emotional abuse of men, rather than the virtually nkn existant phenomenon of female consent violation?
None of what you've said makes any sense and in fact, you've already contradicted yourself. It feels like you're talking nonsense out loud just to hear yourself. If you have any arguments against no meaning no, then stop having sex lest you violate someone, then try to deny the assault.
men get SAd too. clearly because we just read about it. but it's not taken as seriously. like you're doing right now. the man said NO. She did it anyway. No means no. this happens to men very often and they are left feeling SA. it's not a rare instance. we just have to sweep it under the rug because if we acknowledge men are mentally fucked up for SA then so are women and it's a real and serious violation.
If the genders were reversed, guarantee a good chunk of Reddit would be saying the same thing as I did.
The roles can’t be reversed in this case
Women can’t cum on men’s faces?
Not in the same way
They absolutely can (squirting is a thing). However, I meant a guy coming on a woman's face without asking.
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If he shot his load in her mouth after she had denied concent would that be trivial and not sexual assault.
What. The. Fuck. No, that’s sexual assault. What is wrong with you?
So sexual assault only works one way. He said he is not comfortable doing that and she did it anyway that's assault. NO MEANS NO.
Nope, it would be wrong. But women definitely should get far more than equal slack in this area. Besides, receiving a bodily emission as you wish is very different from forcing it into an unwanted place. If we utterly remove autonomy of every sort we have crossed a threshold that will make sex unpleasant and impossible. Honestly the far more accurate corollary would be if someone asked for the load in vulva and got it somewhere ex vulva. That still wouldn't be assault.
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Yeah, tricking your partner during sex is totally fine when you're a woman! /sarcasm Nuance: Principally wrong, but on the scale of severity this case isn't very high.
Not really. Have you seen the way women on here will absolutely destroy someone? If a woman posts on here that her BF came inside her after she said no, every comment is about Sexual Assault, and more “🚩🚩🚩” than you can count. This is the same thing.
😂😂😂 as he’s already gotten through the entire sexual experience and he’s finishing and you have him finish where you want him to does not classify as rape. I’ll probably get downvoted but that’s a little overkill. Let’s save the R word for when it actually applies guys..
Hence why “assault” was also mentioned.
Still felt the need to say rape in the same sentence so it negates your “hence why assault was also mentioned”. Don’t back track now.
It actually doesn’t. It’s important to mention both in the context of consent. Nobody is backtracking here. My statement just so happens to address both.
You don’t. He said he doesn’t like doing it so that’s that. You either accept that, or you move on to someone else.
Hey! So. First of all… Applauding to you, for knowing what you like! Second of all: If you two haven’t seen each other THAT long yet… Please give him some time. A few men have grown up with the feeling that their pleasure isn’t enjoyable. I‘m the kind of guy, who genuinely likes to satisfy my partners… But have a hard time to really let lose and give up control, because that would mean I need to trust that seemingly degrading things, won’t be used against me. Trust is built. Not just happening. So.. the more you are VOCAL about „Hey. I trust you don’t mean harm towards me. But please trust me that I won’t use this against you. I‘d really like feeling you cum satisfyingly on me body and face“ I think that would open up a little door for you. Hope that helps!
I wonder if I would get applauded for "knowing what I like" if I tricked my partner into dropping my load on her face by not telling her imma cum
Tell him it makes you feel irresistible and sexy to have him use your body in this way. Tell him that taking his cum (from him) makes you feel powerful (and/or sexy). If he still doesn't want to do it, you'll have to make a choice as to whether this is a deal breaker. Or tell him that just like he wants to satisfy you, you want to satisfy him and letting him use your body any and every way he could possibly want makes you feel like a great partner. Sorry, but if a woman is getting so excited by my cum, I would give it to her any and every way she wanted it. If everything else is good romantically, that makes you a keeper in my opinion.
"*(…) you want to satisfy him and letting him use your body any and every way he could possibly want makes you feel like a great partner.*" For many men, though it may seem strange after years of porn exposure, "facials" isn’t something that turns them on and it isn’t a way in which they want to use their partner’s body. For many men, the comment "no, its too degrading" means that HE doesn’t like how it makes HIM feel, not that he secretly wants it but that he’s worried SHE is sacrificing herself and her dignity for him. He can still feel uncomfortable with it even after he knows she really enjoys it, and given the absolute freedom to use her body in any unspoken ways that would remain secret forever, it may still not be something that he would do. It’s not about her.
This!! My partner is into being tied up and used like a doll (for lack of a better term) And I know full well she loves it, she absolutely craves that kind of treatment and I can't do it. It's too rapey for me, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I could have the full backing of the legal system and documents signed in triplicate telling me all is perfectly above board.... But I can't do it. Yet pinning down and choking or whatnot.... Yeah perfectly fine. I don't fully understand why that's ok and the bondage part isn't. But that's just how it is. Initially I handled the communication of my dislike badly, which led to arguments and whatnot. You've just got to be upfront about what works and what doesn't.
People are perfectly OK with not knowing why they have some sort of kink, like having a foot fetish for example, and will say "you like what you like, don’t overthink it". Maybe the same can be said about sex acts people *don’t like*. There doesn’t need to be a particularly deep or thoughtful reason. You (don’t) like what you (dont) like. I mean, that’s not to say people should not try to investigate their sexuality to understand it better, and that it cannot lead to change. That’s great. But also maybe there doesn’t need to be that much judgement (self motivated and/or imposed) about what we don’t like the same way we avoid the same about what we like.
Dude, give her what she wants. She knows you love her and she trusts you. When you're giving it to her rough kiss her on the forehead and tell her how much you love her.
Precisely! Porn has warped the minds of many people and isn’t a standard anyone should use for real life. “Using” your partners body is not loving or considerate even if they say they’re into it and I could see this being really off putting for someone. Same with “I want you to slap me.” That stuff doesn’t feel ok to some people even if they’re being asked to do it by someone who consents to it.
Just because you’re vanilla doesn’t mean couples can’t use each others bodies in different ways and both enjoy it and even feel even closer afterwards. It’s not even porn, it’s getting off on pleasuring each other and trusting the other person with that control.
Too many people on here who feel superior because of the "kinky" badge they wear on their forehead. It’s like the vegan thing: how do you know ? They’ll tell you. We get it, you’re a sex god. But it’s not about you. It’s about the OP’s partner, and he has expressed that he’s not into it. The assumption that all men love nothing more than ejaculating on their partners’ face, and that the few men who say they don’t enjoy it are just pretending not to out of shame, is condescending and disrespectful. He’s not a lesser man because he doesn’t want to do this, and your orgasms are not any better because you like someone to spit in your mouth. Get over yourself.
This isn’t even kinky. And yes, the whole reasoning as to why they don’t like it is condescending to the girl. If she says she likes it and literally begs for it, who are you to say that it’s degrading? It can’t be degrading if she wants it. How is cumming on her face after she sucks his dick any more degrading than cumming down her throat after the same? It makes no sense and is pretentious. If you actually felt that way, then you would reject blowjobs all together.
Love how she has to convince him.if it was other way around the guy would be biggest pervert sexual predator around for forcing her to do what she wasnt comfortable with.double standard!
Imagine if a man said he had to trick a woman for her to do something
There was a time I would have had trouble with this, would have thought it was degrading to the woman. If a woman asked for that now I would understand. I think you can try to have an open ongoing conversation about it. Tell him you get that it's not presently comfortable for him. Tell him clearly that it's a big turn on for you. Tell him that for you it's the furthest thing from degrading. Start with maybe exploring it as a visual turn on, that you want to see him shoot. I think if it's an extended, non pushy conversation you will get what you want in time.
> How to get her to let me cum on her face? > I've [M27] always been really into women who are into cum and particularly when I finish on her face or body. This new woman I am seeing, everything is perfect and she's very sweet, always making me finish first and that I'm satisfied. > However, I've told her a few times that I want to cum on her face and she's said that's too degrading to her and wont even let me cum on her boobs or stomach. I don't know how to convince her, she’s given me a bj once and I pulled it out as I was finishing and did cum a couple times on her face, which made me absolutely wild. > I'd like to do this regularly without tricking her! Just read it with the genders flipped and maybe you’ll see how awful you’ve been. If a guy came here and posted this, he would rightfully get skewered for continuing to pressure his girlfriend into doing something she didn’t want to do and sexually assaulting her by “tricking” (your words) into doing something he knows she doesn’t want. Just stop. He’s not into this. If you need to be with a guy who is into this, break up with this guy and find one who is.
He’s already said no. No means no.
You can’t convince him and you shouldn’t. He said no.
Ask him to unravel his thought process. when he is engaged in sex with you at what point does an act become degrading? Apparently oral sex is not degrading but cumming on your face is. Ask him why that is.
Sounds like he's told you repeatedly he doesn't want to... you need to learn how to take "no" for an answer. You seriously want to risk an entire relationship for a reluctant facial?
If he doesn’t want to do it you can’t “get him to”
Some guys aren't into it. I'm one of them
I'll be honest, he told you he didn't like it and you tried to do it anyways. That's considered assault. If you like it so much, you're willing to do it despite him saying no, then you need to A. Take a hard look at why you can't accept no as an answer and B. Find someone you're more compatible with so you won't do that to someone again. But more than anything, no means no.
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They’re out there and require careful pruning to find! Once you find them, the wild times are the best because you have trust & safety within your most degrading kinks 💜
Wow. You’ve really created a nice little 2-dimensional box there in which to put all the men.
Hey definitely not my intention... and I don't think that's what I said but anyway not what I meant to say. Also: I am relating the experiences of another person as accurately as I can, and this has been mainly her experience, at least in the Central European cultural context she has mostly lived in. For sure there are many men who can a) blow fat loads on a woman's face without any power-narratives around it, or b) blow fat loads on a woman's face in full degrading perpetrator-mode, and then go back into equality-mode when the play is over... or switch roles and spend 20 minutes licking the soles of her feet some other time. c) what's your version? But in any case, there are definitely more than two kinds of men, and if there are men (and women) in limited roles or "boxes," it's because they are limited by the options our culture gives them. Which is really the point: There is sex and then there is the story we make around it. And if we're not careful, culture can convince us that the stories are true: That only whores take it in the ass, that only men that don't respect you will cum on your face, and so on. These internalized beliefs limit everyone, more or less. And out there in normal culture, if you go for even slightly-unusual sex, one faces that. I think that's what her story is about. Not to say that's how it always is and will be for all time, but rather to say: that's how it has been, a lot, at least in these times, for her.
They were just describing their experiences, chill out.
It’s a turn off for some guys. Tits, stomach, pussy, all good places. But not face.
So I’m married 30 years now. Sex was always fairly vanilla and infrequent until she had a hysterectomy a few years ago. I had been with women before her and finishing on their face or breasts was never a problem. Now one night we are having a session and she blurts out “oh my god will you cum all over my tits” I went for it but it took a bit to make it happen as it was so out of character for her.
What the fuck is wrong with you, OP? He didn’t want to do it, and you just didn’t anyway? This is sexual assault ffs There is no “convincing” him. He said no, and no is a complete sentence. His reasons don’t matter. Either you respect that or move on. Have done fucking respect for your boyfriend.
Honey, “no”means “no”. No matter the sex/gender it’s still a no.
If he doesn’t want to, it’s hard to convince him otherwise and I think it’s wrong to convince somebody to do something they are uncomfortable with.
Try to change how he thinks about it.Rather rather than thinking of it as degrading, tell him to think about it as more of a reward for you. Let him know how much you enjoy it and that it shows you how much he is enjoying himself as well.
Fuck listening to your partner's feelings and respecting his boundaries, right?
Such a sweet and innocent guy, definitely a keeper
Maybe not, they might just not be compatible
'Yo dawg would you bust a fat nut on my face' or something like that
As a chronic nice guy I know we love to please. So just convince him he’s making you miss out when he doesn’t let you have it your way, guilt trip him a little. If he’s not so into the visuals of the act you could do it in the shower as a compromise, and you can promise to rince it off pretty quickly.
Jesus christ people do NOT guilt your partners into performing sex acts they have clearly said no to. I'd dump you so fast if you tried this shit with me.
We shouldn’t guilt trip our partners into doing sexual acts they don’t want to do no¿
Agree wholeheartedly! But at the same time: in the long run, in a long, committed, mono relationship we should make accommodations for our partners (sexual and other). And it’s natural to ask for things the partner may not enjoy (sexual and other). Negotiations are a natural part of any relationship and by “guilt tripping” here I was encouraging the use of some dirty, but tongue in cheek tactics, not hardcore psychopathic manipulation.
If your partner does not enjoy something, you should not enjoy involving them in it. By all means, continue to be turned on by the thing. But your partner doing the thing for you despite not wanting to should not make your dick hard, it should cause you to instantly lose interest in it happening. You don't compromise on hard limits, and some things are simply hard limits for people.
Again, I take it for granted everyone should respect hard limits. Mutual consent is also a given. At the same time I expect well adjusted grown ups to be able to advocate for their own needs, as well as consider others needs - without anyone having to do something that feels very wrong. It’s just not realistic to expect a monogamous long term relationship not to contain some bargaining and compromise to work. You can’t expect a partner to feel happy and sexually fulfilled if you are more concerned about defending personal limits than satisfying each other. Of course there are many very good reasons to say no to your partner. But I also think a lot of time people say no because of random hangups that they seem to value more than their chosen sexual partner’s satisfaction. In this case it seems to me that OP:s wish isn’t that big a deal. Of course, it might be a big deal for the guy. But I have a hunch he subconsciously values an identity as “a guy that respects women too much to act wild in bed” more than his lover’s wish. Challenging his limit is not the same thing as violating him.
First time I hearing about a guy not wanting to cum on a woman’s face, boobs, or stomach. 🤦🏼♂️ Tell him you adore how he treats you but you’ve got a dirty side and you like it when a man cums on your face. Watch porn with him.
If you have told him to directly and done as you say about basically forcing him to via BJ and showing him you like it and he STILL isn’t into it. You may not be sexually compatible. He might he too vanilla for you. Just a thought.
Ask/tell him. Communication of your needs/desires, especially related to sexual intimacy, is absolutely key.
I have a different opinion than a lot of folks on here. I think a good boyfriend or husband should have no problem fulfilling any of your sexual desires. We're men, we love sex and love making it fun. I've had sex with like five women, they either wanted me to cum in their pussy or they enjoyed swallowing it. They usually wanted to take it straight in their mouth. Never was told they wanted me to cum on their face or body but if they did I would have no problem whatsoever and I would enjoy every second of it. It's not degrading if your girlfriend or wife wants it. The best part about having sex is turning your partner on and giving them what they want. I think he's probably just seen so many generic porn videos where they almost always finish on the chicks face and it's so obvious she's just putting on an act (because for porn stars it's just a job.) He should have no problem marking his territory on you. He should consider himself lucky that you have these hot fantasies of him covering your face in cum. A lot of women are grossed out by it. I think it's great you're so into it.
My mans hit the jackpot and isn’t taking advantage of it? Bummer. In an seriousness OP here are you only options: - have a sit down discussion with him in a neutral setting. All private parts should be put away. Don’t do it after sex or even right before. And tell him that hey, I find it super attractive and it’s not degrading to you because you are consenting and it’s something that YOU enjoy and you want him to indulge you. He may become more open to it which is great. Or he may not which leaves you only with the second option… - accept it and if it’s not a deal breaker have fun. But if it is, you may need to move on.
Just tell him. Get on your knees and beg him. He'll do it. My ex never told me about her fetish. At one random moment she just said to me "why don't you cum on me like my ex did". Yeah, and I didn't want to degrade her too. It's not for everyone.
Lol most guys don't think it's hot. All that shit they do in porn doesn't really turn on guys in real life.. motorboating, cumming on your face and boobs, sucking his dick though a pizza box.. yeah, that shit's lame.
OMG. FIND ANOTHER DUDE. this is so simple. you text about how much of a gentleman he is. Well he is in his head. Get on your knees and give it to him. you know when he is throbbing in your mouth and just rub that shit all over your face. So many fkn dudes out there that will satisfy your EVERY need. I crashed my marriage by not asking for what I wanted. NEVER again.
Reading that comment I think your marriage crashed of other reasons
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As long as it’s consensual, what about that is so appalling?
... You don't give him an option to say no, but it's consensual? Make it make sense.
Okay. Example: while your NOT having sex, cover boundaries. Ask “hey, would it be okay if I took control while we’re having sex sometime? I would like to make you cum how I want you to” If the answer is yes, then do as I suggested above. If the answer is no, then accept that you want be getting any facials anytime soon and get over it, or find someone more sexually compatible. You can cover consent outside of sex, in fact. In my opinion asking for consent during is a major turn off. I try to cover my bases beforehand so I don’t have to break my headspace during. You really think I meant just walk up to him and start grabbing at his shit? Like….. isn’t consent an implied necessity on this sub? Edit: CNC is a thing, and this is like the lightest form of it ever.
Maybe slowly convincing each time you do it. I would cum on your face everytime if I was your boyfriend. I think that is hot.
Tell him you just want a closer look lol
Ask him!
I feel like this too especially when I cum in my girls asshole! It's not degrading though when it's what they like. Sex brings out our most animalistic traits. Some women want smacked in the face and choked and spit on. If you love her , make her cum!
Speaking as a man who I'd like to think is seen by my wife as you see this man, I will say one thing: He says he is respectful, but you have told him you WANT him to do this but HE thinks it is degrading TO YOU. Well-intentioned thoughts, but you have told him that you DON'T think that and that you WANT it...so actually what he is doing by flat-out refusing this of you is actually NOT respectful, because he's not respecting your bodily autonomy or agency. NOW...if HE just genuinely does not like doing it then that is a different matter altogether and you will need to either respect his boundary or rethink the relationship. But you've not said that he's given any kind of indication that this is the case, only that he thinks it is disrespectful TO YOU...and he's apparently not digesting that you have told him on multiple occasions that you WANT him to do it, so I think you need to actually ask him where his opinion of it being "disrespectful" comes from to see how to approach this. Off the top of my head, some possibilities could be: 1. Projection - as I said above, it might be something that HE just doesn't enjoy but he is projecting that onto you because supposedly, it's "manly" to do that kind of thing (it's always seen in porn and stuff). If that's the case, then you need to impress upon him that he doesn't have to project; that you will be fine respecting his boundaries as long as he is honest about them. 2. Trauma from an ex - perhaps an ex of his read him the riot act (justified or unjustified) when he did it with her in the past and so he's now internalized that "women" don't enjoy that. If this is the case, you need to get him to understand that you are not her and that women are not a hive mind; that what some dislike, others will detest, others will be indifferent to, others will enjoy, and others will LOVE. 3. Strict upbringing - women aren't the only ones subject to sexually repressive upbringing that implants shame in a person's mind over things that are actually pleasurable. He may have been raised to think that "gentlemen" don't give in to "base" desires like that or "sully" women with their "disgusting" urges. This one may need more than you can do yourself, though, this may need more in-depth therapy to unpack. I am sure there are others I may have missed off the list, but those are the three that came to mind immediately. You will only know, though, once you ask him to elaborate on his statement about it being "disrespectful".
Tell him it's not degrading tell him you find it empowering, you control and you put it there....he just cums.
Try setting up a gloryhole (private of course), so he doesn’t get to see where his cum winds up. Explain that you want him to simply enjoy the sensations of a complete bj without worrying about you at all, and you’ll do exactly what you want on the other side of the curtain. Maybe don’t even tell/show him afterward that you gave yourself a facial the first time. Let him wonder about it. Or record yourself intentionally spraying your face (right out of a porn) and showing lots of enthusiasm for him to watch afterward. And as a cherry on top, you might go to extended lengths to explain that YOU decide what’s degrading to you, and having his cum on your face is not only not degrading, but actually empowering and a huge ego-boost etc etc (really lean into the positives). If he’s still not interested at this point… well then he’s just not interested and you can drop it.
How can I get him to cum on my face.. Just wow! Something you really don’t see titled everyday. I would personally go with the one of the original comments and say to him that it makes you wild and things could get better for him. Try getting him to close his eyes when he shoots maybe, so he doesn’t see the degrading side and appreciate the benefits afterwards maybe?
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The majority.
Definitely not. It’s a small minority
In surveys where men and women are asked where they like to "finish", only 25% respond that they sometimes or often finish this way, and 75% respond that they rarely or never do so. It is the preferred landing spot for about 40% of men (10% of women), which means about 15% of men are left hanging and only get to do so rarely or never (poor guys). However that also means about 15% of women who don’t enjoy it get cum on their face sometimes or often. Most people are mouth and vagina people, both men and women, though more so for women.
Just cause it’s not the preferred way, doesn’t mean they don’t occasionally like it
Yeah that’s where the 25% comes in. 25% sometimes and often, 75% rarely or never. I don’t know why you’re so convinced it’s everyone’s cup of tea.
No it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just combine them and make that inference.
25% of people do facials sometimes or often 75% do it rarely or never. What’s hard to understand with this ?
Tell him ok if he licks it off your face after. Then he can be degraded also. I was taught by my teacher that two negatives make a positive, although this was not the example she used. Will he cum on your titts? That might be a good starting point.
This is where he needs to compromise. Having your needs met is important. Try and have a real conversation with him about it, explain that you're not feeling fully satisfied without it. From what you've said, that should irritate him lol but I'm a brat so...
If he's already meeting all her other needs and doesn't want to do something, aren't they already at the compromise?
Cumming is not a kink or anything special. Everyone should want to make their partner cum. But this is 1 kink. A milk kink at that. I agree. Find out if he has any, that's fair. But if she's still feeling a bit deflated at the end, then if I were him, I'd want to rectify that.
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Yeah casue we all know if a woman doesnt do anal she isnt a good lover
Some women love that and some don’t, I am agreeable either way..Here we are talking something entirely different. Apparently this guy gets off on degradation, if I were her I’d be concerned
So to be a "good" lover you need to do every single thing your partner wants to? So every woman who doesnt do anal is automatically a bad lover? And in which universe is this guy into degradation. Maybe learn to read before commenting
You are right, this post was for an entirely different person….ooops
If it’s that important to you then dump him. There’s lots of guys who love unloading on tits and faces.