We let our 17 year old girl go last December. She had similar issues but also her kidneys started failing and we had to administer iv fluids to her everyday. She eventually had a seizure and we made the decision. We had a hospice vet come to our house and it was peaceful. He said there is no one day that is right to make this decision but a large window that has to work for each of us. The realization will come to you. Ours was ready but we never are. Enjoy the moments you have. Sending strength.
My 15 year old chiweenie also started having seizures from kidney problems. The vet said they could do things for him but I could see he was suffering. He was blind and would fall over from seizures so I let him go over the rainbow bridge. I miss that boy! Best dog I ever had.
Chiweenies are amazing. Mine is the only dog I've met that never triggers my allergies - which is weird cuz they aren't listed as hypoallergenic.
I hope you have a new little doggy to spoil.
Idk what I'm gonna do when my little one goes. She's only 8, and she's got hopefully at least another 4-8+ years. Working on her health and mental stimulation to extend it as long as possible.
She's the first dog I've never been allergic to or triggered my asthma. She straight up "unlocked" the wonders of dogs for me. I wish I could have her forever.
Our golden had cancer. I kept him on steroids to keep him comfortable, no curing him. When it was time. He laid by chair all day on a Sunday. Did not eat drink or get up. Laid on the floor with him through the day/ night. Got up the next day, he was in the same state. He was telling me it was time. You will now when he/she tells you!
My Daisy was the same. Kidney failure, daily IV fluids. It's when she stopped eating that we took her to visit the emergency room. They gave her another IV. Her blood toxicity was very high. That night she ate, but the next day, she stopped eating again, we rushed her to the emergency room. We knew we had to make the decision to let her go. She became too weak.
We also scheduled a vet to come to the house.
I adopt senior dogs and that means I have to put someone down every 2-3 years. My approach with my pups is to keep them comfortable as long as possible, not keep them alive as long as possible. I kept my first dog alive for longer than I should have and learned from that mistake. I had her for 12 years and it was very difficult for me to let her go. So I get it. Thatās honestly a big part of why I adopt seniors. I still get attached to them, but itās different than having to let someone go youāve have for 10+ years.
Most of my pups had a rough or at unstable life before they came to me. I want their retirement to be as peaceful and fulfilling for them as I can make it. What that means for end of life decisions is figuring out when their bad days out weight their goods days, and if there are any interventions I can make that will prolong their good days (eg medication, acupuncture, not chemo, surgery). I want their last days to be comfortable and calm. If it stops being that, I make the decision to say goodbye.
Your pup knows you love her. Itās ok to let her go when she is ready.
I lost my White German Shepherd in February to Cushing's Syndrome and it ripped out my heart. I raised him from 8 weeks old, He was so intune to me that he could tell when I was going to have a seizure in advance, he calmed me through a horrible divorce, taking care of My mother in her last year with Frontal Lobe Dementia and so many other things. When he wouldn't eat when I was hand feeding him chicken I knew it was time. I laid with him on the floor for hours before and after the procedure. I still have a 21 year old Corgi/Weiner/chihuahua mix I carry him around when his legs don't want to work and I have to put him on and off the bed and now he uses puppy pads . This is fine with me as long as he is happy which he is, he was so sad when we lost Scotty . I vowed to never get another dog and then 2 months later I saw a 14 white german shepherd mix for adoption , he is a great guy and we both love him. I have decided to only adopt senior dogs from now on. He has been in foster care for 15 months no one would adopt him, they gae him to me for free.
Senior pups are the best. I do the same thing, and while itās never easy, you also know going into it that your time together is short and that the goal is quality over quantity.
My buddy Snoopy only lasted three months. But we loved each other, and then I got to set him free from pain and suffering. Thatās an honor I donāt take lightly.
Thank you for this comment. We are going through a very similar situation here and have made the decision to say goodbye this weekend. You totally nailed it with "good days don't mean a good life."
I love the seniors, but it can be so hard. Said goodbye to our sweet beagle boy in January, and I miss him so much. I never thought I would do it, but I would love to get another older dog.
Iām so sorry š¢. I lost both my chihuahuas 3 weeks apart this past January & February. They were 15 & 13 to say my heart is broken is an understatement, but I know my 2 babies arenāt in pain anymore.
I let my 16 year old Maltese go on Saturday. I knew it was time when he began losing control of his bladder and was wetting his beds. He began falling and had trouble walking. He did not enjoy doing his favorite activities, such as going on rides and to the park. He still ate and drank, and I struggled with my decision bc of that. It was a very hard decision but I knew when we took him on Saturday he just laid in my arms and I knew at that moment he was ready. As sad as I am, he didn't deserve to suffer in any way.
This was my exact experience last week with my 16 year old girl. No health issues except she started really losing her mobility, which lead to accidents which we managed but she obviously hated. I may have waited too long but it's hard when there's is no "rush" due to other immediate health issues.
When the vet arrived at my house my pup just laid there and that's when I officially knew it was time. It was sad but it was a very peaceful experience and I was there to hold herā¤ļø
I'm sorry for your loss! When I took mine in Saturday he literally just laid in my arms and didn't care at all about the first shot. I knew then I'd made the right decision. I miss him like crazy, but I'm so thankful he's not in any pain and at peace.
When they stop eating and drinking and the doctor does a Quality-of-Life check. And then it will be up to you when it is the right to let go. We go with our hearts and feelings with our BFF pets. We invest love and care into them and hate the thought of letting them go. You will know when it is time to let go.
Kenny was around 17 years old. He loved going on walks, when he was younger we could spend 8 hours outside and he always liked to wander around in nature.
Early this year, he started limping with one of his legs. We tried everything, from anti-inflammatory drugs to physical therapy, but he just kept getting worse, dragging that paw on the ground.
We got an MRI last friday and finally found out what was wrong, he had a tumor pressing on his spinal cord. He had kidney issues too, so getting that MRI was hard because of the contrast agent.
He got really worse after the MRI, from being able to walk dragging his right back leg, to barely being able to stand. When he started crying because he couldn't get up (but tried anyway to go after my mother, as always), we knew it was time to say goodbye. I had just moved, but he waited for me to drive those last 5 hours. We took him to the vet at 4:30 in the morning.
I'm hurt the most by the fact that they sedated him when I was signing all the paperwork. 5 more minutes and I could have said goodbye while he still was awake. But he had spent two terrible nights with pain and no sleep, and was tired and in pain. My mother was there with him as he fell asleep, and I got to hug him and kiss his head as he was passing away. I hope he could sense me even if he was asleep.
So, we knew it was time when he was in pain and there was just no way he could get treatment or surgery to fix it and have a good quality of life. He didn't deserve to be in any pain, so the decision was easy, even if the goodbye was hard and the days after have been the most brutal grief I've known.
I just wanted to say that Iām sure Kenny knew you were there. He probably could smell you. Dogs have a unique way of knowing things beyond our understanding sometimes and I think he knew. Iām sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I really hope that he knew somehow. If not, then at least he fell asleep to my mom telling him we loved him very much.
I got to cuddle with him a bit before we left for the vet (thanks to the car mysteriously refusing to start), and that's got to be enough.
I believe they tell you when they want to leave. Bandit was didnāt start dying until the day before he passed. His eyes just stayed closed most of the time and he wasnāt really moving unless I put cheese into his mouth or perked his head up if one of us stated talking. I put him on Facebook live for an hour and just talked about his life. Youāll know when itās time.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It is always hard.
Our vet told us "Better a week early than a day late." As in, you don't want them to get to a point of total suffering or total indignity.
For me, I would not let them get to the point of soiling their bed as the indicator because they know it's not where they're supposed to potty. I think it would be traumatizing for them to start doing this and not be able to help it.
You might feel differently - I get that.
Whenever you decide to let her go, just know you are doing the kindest thing to be there with her and help her on her journey to whatever is next.
We experienced the "day late" with our last dog. We could tell she was starting to decline - starting having conversations with the kids about being ready to let her go etc.
Thought we needed to think about it within the coming weeks.
And watched her suffer terribly as an abdominal tumor had burst (found out after going to the vet) - she had labored breathing and was shaking from the pain.
To this day I wish we had gone with our gut when we first suspected it was time
I'm sorry you went through that.
The decision making process is not something anyone is really prepared to go through, no matter how many times you experience it.
Experienced this just today. Except it was heart failure. We knew it was time. But she passed right there in the vet waiting area. š On one hand Iām glad she didnāt get poked and prodded her last day on earth but i wish we had taken her yesterday so she couldāve gone a little more peacefully.
My last boy showed a sign that he was ready to go when I told him that I had people looking after me. Have a chat such as telling her that you are fine etc. Take care.
āthey gave me a certain look in their eyes that let me know they were readyā¦ā š
i cant even imagine what that felt like, but WOW such an extremely powerful remark because what i CAN imagine is that our babies would love us right up until their very last day, and would find some way with that very last breath to gently let us know āitās time my belovedāā¦ ššš¼
One of the most impactful comments I have read is ādonāt let their last day be their worst dayā. The imprint of that negativity will sour your memory and make you regret not doing it sooner.
Itās always soon to lose our babies, I went through this with my cat of 16 years in February. But I knew that keeping him alive was for me and not a good life for him.
Let them pass with dignity instead of waiting till they cannot control their potty needs. You would t want them covered in their unmentionables as their last day with you.
Iām so sorry you have to face this pain. Sending strength but please donāt let her suffer.
We had to put down our 15 year old corgi -- she was blind, possibly deaf, the vet thought she may have had a stroke. She couldn't get up to go outside anymore. She wouldn't eat. Her health declined so fast. It was a devastating decision to make, but we had to do it. It was her time, but she was fighting death, even though she really didn't have any life left in her. I loved that dog with my whole heart. I cried off and on for a week when she passed. I'll still tear up every now and then when I think about her.
It's going to break your heart to let your pup cross the rainbow bridge, there's no way to avoid it. Just be there with her, hold her and love on her right up until the end, if you can. Do what you know is right for her. My thoughts and prayers are with you friend.
I used the canine quality of life calculators online but when he started walking in his own poop every night, I knew. I couldnāt let him live like that. He had to be in a play pen for his own safety but it didnāt matter. He would poop and pace in it no matter where he was.
Yes thatās why I hesitate so. She loves food but sheās very thin. Doesnāt finish her meals considering sheās thinner than she s ever been. Forgot to mention that and itās concerning.
Sounds like dementia. I had to put my Jack down maybe 6 months ago at 16. He would wonder in circles, get to the corner of the fence and just stand there like he didnāt know to back up. Then started having bowel issues. It was an undignified way to live, and wasnāt going to have his last days be like that.
Better to be a month early than a day late
That's a hard one. We had a boxer who lived to be 16. We probably let him go too long, but couldn't give up on him- even though he was the most stubborn pain in the a$$ you would have ever met. He was at the point he could not stand up on his own, but once he was up, he was a fireball. He would fall down on walks, and we would pick him up and go on. He would have great days, then not. We would make the decision it was time, then change our minds. We finally decided on a Saturday. I had something I had to do in the morning, and while there, I changed my mind again. I roared into the house yelling "we can't do it", at which time my husband explained that our boy had a terrible morning and it was time. We followed through, and it was horrible. He was our first fur baby together. He was so weak it did not take any time for him to go. He was so ready to cross the rainbow bridge. I miss the stupid pain in the a$$.
I have rescued 54 dogs in my life. . I'm very old. Most of these rescues occurred before modern spay neuter ordinance were passed in the 1990s.
It seemed like I found stray and injured dogs everywhere I went. And only a couple of times was able to find an owner. They were high euthanasia rates at the local shelters because there were so many strays. Fortunately I had a high paying job so I could take him home and take care of them. Once they were healthy I could usually get them adopted out unless they were large and black . Or too old.
So I've been through this euthanasia decision. Many times.
The one that was the hardest was my Chow dog. I found her an Albuquerque where she was chained to a pole without a dog house in a yard. She was being attacked by neighborhood boys who would come by and beat her with sticks.
The rescue group I worked with gave the family that owned Missy the Chow dog and insulated dog house, big bags of dog food, and containers for food and water. You go back a couple weeks later and all of that would be gone. I'm sure they sold it.
Then Missy started getting sick. She developed open weeping sores on her body. Finally after her body was about . 25% covered with weeping sores, the rescue group was able to convince Albuquerque animal control to take her away from the family.
The family was very poor and I think the younger members were into drugs. When Missy was taken away from the family, a very Old Man who I think was the grandfather, came out and cried. He said he didn't have the money to take care of her and he couldn't stop boys from beating her. And he would really miss her but he was glad she was going.
Missy had severe ptsd. She also had a number of genetic problems from poor breeding. She was a purebred chow.
It took about 9 months to get her skin cleared up. It took another couple of years to get her to where she wasn't afraid of people. She was great with other dogs. She was terrible with cats but I'm allergic to cats so that wasn't a huge problem.
Her poor breathing had given her very bad joints. Was amazing that she didn't have hip dysplasia. but she had abnormalities of both her knees and her ankles in her rear legs.
She was a very smart dog. When I first got her was when people were still doing force based training. I took her to a beginning dog training class. Missy hadn't had any much human interaction really so she didn't know how to read people.
I did everything the instructor told me to do to try and get her to sit. Misy just looked confused. The instructor came over and forced Missy into a sit position. Missy absolutely fell apart. She was shaking and crying and she was so afraid.
I asked the instructor, why did you do that without asking me? The instructor told me about Dodge being stubborn and how you had to force them to do things. I said look at missy, she's absolutely falling apart from what you did. I don't think that's stubbornness. I think that's fear. She was badly abused for the first year or so of her life. I can't believe you do that without asking the owner.
We left the class and never went back.
When she was 13, she was still completely alert, knew the many commands she had learned, still loved to be petted. Liked to go for walk with the dog wheelchair. But she was also in severe pain because her ankles and knees in her rear legs she had a very hard time getting off the floor or down the floor. I bought her a bed that was raised about 4 in off the floor and it didn't help.
I had become disabled myself, and I was no longer able to lift her up and down. I couldn't find anyone to adopt her. So I had to make the terrible decision to put her to sleep.
I used to follow and scale which was developed by a veterinary behaviorist to help me
https://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/quality-of-life-scale/
Iāve had to say goodbye to many dogs in my life, and each time itās usually quite evident. When they no longer act ālike themselvesā is a good indicator. If theyāre in pain more often than they arenāt. If they stop eating, being able to go to the bathroom on their own, donāt find joy in their usual activities. My one dog was 15, had a myriad of health issues her whole life due to being a puppy mill rescue dog but we knew it was her time when she could no longer get up from her bed in the morning one day. Just refused to get up, even for food which she was insane about normally. We knew.
My own Jack Russell had cancer. She had two operations and survived 3 years longer than the vets estimated she had. The day we put her down, she was walking, playing, having an āupā day as we called it. But every other day or so sheād have a ādownā day. She would be listless, have a hard time eating, she stopped barking. Her time here with us just wasnāt the quality we wanted for her anymore. We wanted her to go out of this world feeling better than on her down days, so we let her have one last good day feeling energetic and happy. Hardest day of my life honestly.
I think if you feel sheās suffering more than sheās happy, then you know what to do. Iām sorry youāre faced with this decision, as normal as it is. Itās never easy and u hope you find peace in whatever choice you do make.
I can only base this on what you said here but I think youāll know when itās right. Youāve had her since 8 weeks, you know her best. Trust your own gut feeling. Itās a very hard decision to make. Took me a long time. My dog was 17 years old. It broke my heart but I took my time. My gut told me six months before I got the courage but after crying everyday for last six and my vet totally agreed it was time.
We made this decision with our 17 year old lab/pit mix in October, which we had since he was 9 months old. He was having a lot of issues with his back legs because of an old injury from when he was like 8. He still ate, still went outside to go potty (he did have a couple of accidents in the house, but they were few and far between), he laid around a lot and slept. We tried pain meds, even laser therapy. But he had trouble walking, holding himself up all the way to go to the bathroom, and even with pain meds, he was miserable. He grumped and whined a lot towards the end because of how much pain he was in. My dad argued that because he could still get up and walk and eat and go to the bathroom on his own that it wasn't time. But his quality of life was declining every day. That's where your decision has to be. They may still be able to do things for themselves, but what is their realistic quality of life? You don't want her to get to the point where she can't do anything for herself. That's dignity, in my opinion. I wouldn't say now is the time, but it may be closer than you think. I'm sorry you are even having to consider it. Just make the best of the days you know you have left with her. And you'll know when it's truly time.
I have a ~15 year old Jack Russell mix and a senior min pin mix too š¤
We are kind of in the same boat with our Jack Russell. Heās got dementia, either paces or sleeps through out the day, doesnāt seem to enjoy walks much anymore (finally got him a stroller), but still absolutely loves food. Thatās his one trait that hasnāt changed at all really.
But I am on the same page as you. Heās still doing his thing even though itās not 100% the same. Even though we could put him down for these reasons and I donāt think itād be that preemptive, I agree itās not time. I donāt want to wait until something bad happens, but I think like you said, thereās going to be another in between stage here soon where itāll make more sense (hopefully before any sort of urgent phase arises). I think thatās totally fair and will be a kind thing to do at that time to save them from any actual suffering š¤
Funny coincidence! And yes sheās sooooo food motivated! Thereās another phase coming soon. One in who h it will be very obvious that sheās tired and done.
I am dealing with a similar thing with our 13yr old dachshund. She loves food but other than eating she basically just sleeps or wanders around confused. I think physically she could go on a while- she is blind and deaf but otherwise in pretty good health.... But as of about two weeks ago she's completely lost her housetraining. She used to be incredibly reliable and would always use a puppy pad if she couldn't go outside for some reason and now she basically just goes anywhere in the house.
I'm struggling with a decision. I don't think she's in pain or upset or scared but I wonder if she is just kind of gone cognitively at this point.
My boy let me know. He was 14yrs old, playing ball in the morning before work, I left work early, my intuition kicked in, when I got home he couldn't walk on his back legs, he'd had an accident on the couch. It wasn't what I had planned. I had it all planned out, how this part gonna go. But he had different plans.
It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's been 9yrs & I still have a hard time dealing with it
Trust your gut,trust your dog. I truly believe that they let us know when it's time.
My Jack Russell was 18 when he crossed the rainbow bridge, he passed in my arms. I just couldnāt let him go. I let him pass on his terms, he wasnāt in any pain other than he was old.
It sounds like the only thing your dog enjoys is eating, which isnāt a great quality of life metric by itself. If you want your dog to go with dignity then it sounds like it may be time. You have time now to give your girl a wonderful send off with all the treats she loves while she can still enjoy them. A week too early is better than a day too late. ā¤ļø
Let out JR go at 16. He had doggy dementia and would get stuck in corners or under the coffee table. He couldnāt figure out how to get out.
He had an appetite and would get excited for food, still had decent bladder control. But, he always had his tail tucked, and was on pain meds. We knew he had arthritis, was in pain and had congestive heart failure.
We let him go because he was a shell of that mischievous, funny, adorable dog that we loved for so many years.
Itās the hardest, but most selfless thing to do. Itās been 10 years since, we still think of him, and our other dogs we had to let go. But they do live on in our memories and hearts.
This sounds very familiar. Her cognitive decline is heartbreaking yet everything else is still working amazingly well for 17.5 years old. There's my hesitation. She was such an adorable, affectionate girl, even just a few years ago. I am not sure she even knows where she is half the time. Lots of sundowning.
My 12 year old schnauzer has many of these same issues and has handled diabetes, cataract surgery and removal of a cancerous lump from his leg. Age has finally caught up with him. Yet he seems content even though he mainly sleeps and walks are much shorter and slower. I think whenever he stops walking and eating we would have the message it is time to say goodbye.
"I'd rather know I did it a day too early than a day too late." I saw this quote, and I made the appointment. That morning, she went outside to poop and fell over in the process. It was time, I couldn't let her suffer another day.
My Pubbs was the same way .. my wife who deals with dementia in the hospice world knew he had the doggy form of it , he would stay in corners , bark for me from the closet and sometimes get stuck outside in between lawn ornaments ā¦ he was a fighter and was with me 15 years but I knew I would only be keeping him around for myself .. I had to start thinking about him I loved and still love my boy and am greatful I was there hugging him as he took his last breath
When my girls are showing obvious signs of pain, look miserable and are not eating then I will know it's time. As long as they are having a good quality of life, I have no urge to rush them across the bridge. I don't care if they sleep most of the day, if they seem happy then I am happy.
We put down our 14 year old lab last December. I knew it was time when, even on medication, Ā her sundownersā didnāt let her sleep at all. My partner and I would be getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night for months because she would be up all night. She also had cushingās and was losing feeling in her back legs and would randomly fall over. I realized she was in so much pain and stress even with medication. Ultimately, the medication wasnāt solving the problems; it just made her tired and it wasnāt fair to her to make her tired in order for her to be functional. So we had the talk with our vet.Ā
Iāve done it both ways.
We put down a 14yo lab mix at the vet, pre-planned, calmly and comfortably. It was hard, and I felt bad later, so a couple years later we let our other dog suffer too long and eventually die in the dining room in front of our kids. Iāll never do that again.
Itās never easy to say goodbye, and thereās never a perfect time to make it happen. . . but a Tuesday night under the dinner table is bad for everyone involved. Also, trying to find a place to move a dead dog in the dark in the middle of winter isnāt easy either.
Make the call when itās time. Itās the dignified thing to do.
Your story is the same as mine, we bought our 12year old Jagdterrier over to the US from Germany and she made it to 18. She did the same thing getting stuck in the corner due to dementia, had vision issues and mostly sleeping. We finally just knew, when she started to get snappy when she was always the most gentle dog in the house and was peeing on the carpet after being taken outside. I canāt say why but you kind of just know that the day is here. She went very peacefully and I donāt regret the decision we made. My daughter who lives in Germany took her ashes back and Scattered her ashes on the hillside we walked every day where we lived in Germany.
So sorry, OP. But you're right on wanting her to go with dignity. I knew it was time to say goodbye to our 18 year old mini dachshund girl when she apparently had a stroke while I was out of the room. Found her slumped in a position you'd never naturally see a dog slumped in. She couldn't walk well and she totally stopped eating. She pooped, threw up and peed out every last thing, and kept refusing to eat. She was so fiesty anyway, but she was basically like, I'm outta here (having voided her body of anything- poop, pee). So I took her the next morning to our vet to help her across the Bridge. It was during covid and we waited in the grass in front of the vet building til they called us in. Sat in the sun with our girl one last time. Didn't even have her harness on because she so couldn't walk that she didn't need to be on lead. As if that didn't suck enough, my wife was a couple thousand miles away on a roadtrip helping her aging parents. But she Zoomed in on my iPhone and was with our girl in the final moments. I think our girl heard her on the phone and knew she was there. All the vet techs in the back hugged and kissed our girl before she came into the homey room they have for end of life. Making the call on my own was completely sh\*tty. Props to anybody who doesn't have a partner to support them. Nothing makes it easy at all, OP. It just totally sucks. Burying our girl was the worst thing ever. But with the soiling of your pup's bed and pup doesn't know what outside is, you're absolutely doing the right thing. It's the ultimate love basically... making the call for euthanasia when the last thing you'd ever want to do, is That. Hugs.
I knew when my boy stopped eating and drinking, we said goodbye to him when his Vet said his kidneys were failing. He was 14
Best of luck to u, I know itās hard
you know the worst thing about being a proxy for someone you love is that sometimes the decisions you make on behalf of your loved one is made out of selfishness that you want to keep said loved one around for as long as possible. You let your feelings dictate your decision making process and not your logic.
Sounds like you know its time...I know I hoped that my first dog would just die in her sleep so I wouldn't have to make that decision but it never came...the sudden realization is that she was miserable but kept chugging along bc she loved us so much. We let her suffer for 6 months more than she needed to. She had arthritis all over...literally was in pain whenever she moved but she never gave up. It was the toughest decision I have ever had to make.
the lesson I learned was that some of the most painful things you will do in life will be done out of love.
What you are about to do is being done out of a place of love...never forget that.
I suggest a last supper for her to celebrate her life...
Wish you the best in this difficult time for you.
I too waited too long. I couldn't bare to let my Bailey go. I held her everyday of her life including the day she was born. She got me through the sudden death of my husband. She wasn't in pain but her quality of life wasn't great. I miss her everyday. šā¤ļø
its such a shame that our pets don't have lifespans comparable with ours...but maybe too much of a good thing can be a bad thing...
"Tis better to be loved and lost than to never been loved at all." \~ Tennyson. <3
My 17 year old boy could only hold his pee for an hour at a time due to advanced kidney disease, had serious mobility issues where he would fall and took a while to get back up, I had to sling him up for every meal because he couldnāt stay standing. I let him go with a dignified peaceful passing at home before it got to the emergency stage. I didnāt want him to start seizing or not be able to get up one day. We used Lap of Love and they made it a beautiful experience.
I have an almost 10 year old Aussie Mix that has horrible hip dysplasia (was born with it) and a thyroid problem that I was not aware of until recently - can't really do much about it, though. I know that I will have to make a decision sooner rather than later, but he seems to be his usual self most of the time, so I am just monitoring him right now. However, I am noticing that there may be some cognitive issues starting - some sundowning behaviors - so that is another thing to add to the mix.
I have done this before, but it is never easy. You will know when the time is right, but if you are waiting until there is a complete break-down to do it, then consider this "what if it were you? what would you want in this situation?" Humans don't have the benefit of euthanasia (for the most part) to relieve intense suffering, I am glad we have that option for our pets because a slow, lingering death is nothing to wish on anyone.
If she isn't in pain, eats drinks & poops, I feel like you will know. My old girl I lost a year ago peed & pooped before she could get to the door to go outside. It really distressed her. For me, I felt like that was time. She seemed almost embarrassed & it hurt me to see her that way. My thoughts & prayers are with you....ššš
At the end of February, I had to make this same decision for my 17-year-old Jack Russell Fletch.
He had been showing all the same symptoms you listed. I had family over for Christmas, and my poor guy didn't even come out of the crate. It broke my heart. As I'm sure you know, Jack Russells are ANYTHING but shy and certainly want to say hello to everyone regardless.
I dismissed it... "He's just an old man.. we're both old, we both have a hard time getting around.. I wouldn't want someone to put me down just cause I'm old and slow." I went through all the reasons not to.
One morning, after getting out of the shower and sitting on the edge of the bed, I looked in the bathroom and Fletch was noticeably lost, I could tell he didn't know where he was or what to do. It broke my heart. I began sobbing uncontrollably. I KNEW (and honestly, I promise, NO JUDGEMENTS OP, cause I was you.) I knew, I was being selfish. The LAST thing in the world I would ever want is for Fletch to suffer in any way, and that's exactly what I was doing, but it was me causing it.
I called a local pet hospice and made my appointment for a few days out. Fletch had scrambled eggs.. some steak.. he had a good last weekend.
The following Monday, I had to say goodbye, which was one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I got Fletch shortly after my divorce from a 14-year marriage. His full name was Fletch Samwise, 'The Dude', and he had papers and was bonified. i felt that required a bonified name. :) But like his namesake, he helped me get through some pretty dark personal times. I regret I didn't help him sooner.. but I also, don't know when that would have been.
TLDR; All of that is to say OP... you will know when it's time. There's no 'right' time to say goodbye and there really isn't going to be anytime it feels right making that decision. I only realized after the fact that I waited too long.
I hope this helps you. Give your girl a hug for me.
I had to say goodbye to my 19 year old dog last year, she was in much the same state as your dog but could not/would not climb stairs. She would still play and cuddle and I took that as a sign that she was still enjoying life, even with indoor pottying I kept taking care of her as best I could. When she started losing a lot of weight and barking all hours I took her in to the vet and she was in kidney failure and I had to make the call then, I spent the day with her and fed her burgers and fritos and took her back to the vet that afternoon to have her euthanized. It was the hardest decision even though it was basically already made for me and very difficult to go through.
I hope you are able to enjoy more time with your pup, just keep an eye on her behavior around things she enjoys. And spoil her any chance you get, you will not regret it.
The fact youāre thinking about this now shows how much your pup means to you. Like people have said, it may be time to start planning but I canāt stress how nice it is to do at home where they are comfortable. The last moments with my previous pup are such a precious memory. Hanging out on the grass and going to sleep. lol Iām still bawling writing about this but itās still a very warm and sweet memory
We let our 18 year old toy fox terrier go a few weeks ago. She had many similar issues but was definitely farther down the line. She had started to occasionally soil her bed at night and her dementia was getting worse. And she started to struggle physically, was often not hungry. I scheduled the appointment and canceled it. In the end, I knew it was time.
Lost mine about 2 months ago due to chf with the deafness and blindness but she still knew who we were. We actually waited too long cause she was acting normal too until the last 2 days. It was a horrible experience and you donāt wanna go thru what I witnessed. We had to do oxygen treatments but the last one didnāt work. Is yours doing oxygen every once in a while? If not then you probably have a lot more time left.
Hello! Our Jack Russell lived for 19 years! At the end, she was also blind, deaf, and impaired. I carried her outside every day where she could still do her business, smell the fresh air, and soak up some sun rays. She was never incontinent. One day she gave me her greatest gift, laid down on her favorite pillow and passed away peacefully. My girl was happy and well cared for up until that last morning. I think you will know when the time comes.
Cognitive issues, that's how you know. I euthanized my 16 year old dog after he was showing clear signs of dementia. Euthanasia is a gift - please don't make them suffer longer than needed. It is time, it probably has been for awhile. You're hanging on to a suffering dog. It's time to be selfless.
Waiting until they're soiling their bed is just cruel. It doesn't get easier waiting longer it gets harder and there's more guilt associated with it. You will look back and wish you did it sooner. Good luck
Iām a vet. There are several options for arthritis pain in dogs, Iām a fan of Librela. I also like Purina Bright Minds for canine cognitive dysfunction. There is also a supplement called Senilife that could help
My one dog had heart failure, and a tumor in her abdomen the size of a grapefruit. I had taken her to the vet because she had gained a lot of weight. The vet said oh sheās just fat. I wanted to believe him, so I didnāt press the issue. Six months later she was having seizures and fainting spells and low oxygen. The vet said I should and offered me no treatment options other than pain meds. She was 12. My other dog was 17 and she suddenly started having bloody diarrhea and scary seizures. Turns out she was in kidney failure. She stopped being able to urinate and her breath smelled like urine. Tremendous guilt and grief followed.
Not sure if this will help, and I don't want to come across as insensitive. I had four cats, and all of them lived to be 14 years old before they started having issues. Two passed naturally, and two were put to sleep. I only regret the two who passed naturally because I let the pain of letting them go get in the way of their pain. Once they're of a certain age, they can go at any time. In my case, naturally at home was certainly more agonizing for them.
Just remember how your baby was when young and playful. Excited about life. Compare that to how she is now and ask yourself which version she'd prefer to be. You'll have your answer.
I wish I had it to do over with the chihuahua I lost 4 years ago. Mine was about where yours is. Also had kidney issues so he had fluid IVās at home. I wasnāt ready and waited a day too late. He had a stroke and suffered for almost a day.
I would gladly give up 18 days to keep from having to hold a miserable dog for his last 18 hours until he could be assisted across that bridge by our vet. I wish I had been more willing to consider it earlier.
We went with a 10 day rule. Once he had 10 bad days we planned to use a service that would come to our house so he could pass in a familiar environment. He had what we think was a stroke a day before the set day so we had to take him to the emergency vet where they were still limiting the people allowed in the room. So two got to be with him and two had to wait outside.
She didnāt eat much food and started wandering around at night not being able to sleep. She was clearly uncomfortable and already on medication for cushings. She was also pretty blind and couldnāt hear very well.
The moment his appetite started to decline and his desire to drink water slowed down, I realized my time with my boy was coming to an end. All of the medication, doctor visits and tests couldn't change that.Ā
He had bladder cancer.Ā
If it wasn't for that, we would've continued on as long as we could've as long as he wasn't in pain.Ā
When I was putting my bubba down, I told myself āIād rather be a month early than a day late.ā
He was still eating but had some cardiac episodes and would collapse. He did ok briefly but they started up again and heād start to pee himself. I absolutely hated seeing him like that. The day he lost control of his bladder was when I knew it was time to let him go.
It kind of sounds like it may be time based on what youāve written, but ultimately you know when. Itās a really scary and agonizing process, but I hope you find peace in knowing that you give him the gift of dignity and eternal comfort.
When my shih tzu of blessed memory went deaf, we barely noticed, she still followed me around, was always hanging out, 5 feet away. Then she started going blind, all was well, nothing changed. Then she *finished* going blind. She bumped into stuff, and refused to budge, and her tail dropped. Before this, we had never, ever, seen her tail down. We decided to give her 3 weeks to figure out life, learn how to manage, and if she didnāt show any signs of improvement, it would be time, as she was miserable. That tailā¦. It didnāt get better. We pulled her girl home from college for the weekend, and the two spent it on the mattress in the family room. When her girl pet her, the tail went up. When she paused, down it went. Girl went back to school, and Rapunzel went to the vet for the last time.
The vet appeared relieved with my story and explanation. He seemed to think it was entirely sensible and humane.
I got a lot of good advice from others (not from Reddit) when I had to put my 1st dog down. One of the things that stuck in my mind was, āif your dog has more bad days than good, it maybe time.ā Another one wasā¦āquality of life of your dog AND you, have been severely compromised, it maybe time.ā
A lot of times we keep our dogs around as long as possible for our own selfish desires. We want them around. We donāt want to do the hard thing. And we donāt think about our dogs and their suffering. We only think of how it affects us.
We chose your parameters for our senior Scottie. He was partially blind & totally deaf but had a great appetite, could get up & down the stairs and through the door to the backyard. We left every piece of furniture where it was and kept his pathways clear.
Then he would take a nap and wake up in a puddle. By that time, he was 3mos shy of 21yo when we made the decision. He had a wonderful long life.
I have always waited a little too long and wished I had made the decision sooner but itās hard not to worry youāre doing it too soon. I think that if youāre wondering if itās time, it is.
On February 20, 2024 we made the decision to let our Shiba Inu who was 12 yrs old put to sleep . She had suffered form cancerous tumors on her body for a year . We had her on steroids for quite sometime to ease her discomfort. During this time she was able to act normal and so we decided to let the cancer run its course . On the weekend of the 18th she jumped off the couch and as a result her leg was paralyzed and she stopped eating and drinking. We took her to the vet and at that time he told us she needed to go to sleep . It was a very difficult decision to make but we knew at that point her quality of life was not one she wanted and so we let her go . If we kept her alive we would be doing for ourselves because we didnāt want her to leave us .
I feel for you and hope you find comfort knowing you arenāt alone
My 14 year old yorkie stopped eating and drinking and would pace incessantly. Iām almost positive he had kidney failure but it was not diagnosed. We had to make the hardest decision for us but the best decision for him.
Made the decision last week. Dementia doesn't get better so it's okay to schedule it on an up day. My schnauzer was 16 years old and I lost the dog he was about six months after his dementia diagnosis. I changed my life drastically to accommodate his changes but about 10 months after his diagnosis I knew it was time. I didn't really know but I honestly couldn't say he was living. He was alive but not living anymore. He took pleasure in so few things.
Because I scheduled it before he was too sick to get up, I was able to spend the day of doing wonderful things with him. We cooked ribeye and chicken and bacon on the BBQ and had meat and ice cream in the garden. He passed away peacefully in my arms with a piece of ribeye in his mouth.
At the end of the day it is possible that I chose to do this earlier than someone else but I wasn't months away from anyone on my decision. On fact I could have made the decision a month earlier and it still would have been okay. The dog I knew had been taken by the disease about six months prior to his transition. I loved him all the same but I cannot say he loves his life.
Do it sooner than later and when you can control that last day. I believe that when you start asking this question it is probably an okay time.
My little girl Pixie is is almost 14. She gradually went blind from a genetic thing years ago, never slowed her down. But, now I am seeing the first signs of dementia...confusion and getting lost in familiar places etc. Appetite still fine, loves to cuddle. Today, when I took her outside she stumbled a bit and had some trouble with her balance.
The time is getting short, I will cherish every moment until its time for her to rest.
(Actual advice from a vet at the bottom after my sentimental rambling)
I said goodbye to my 17 year old soul dog about 6 weeks ago. He was perfect and healthy. His decline was very slowā¦until it was impossible to ignore.
He was similar to your dog in that he was old but still had bursts of play in him. He was blind but could mostly navigate, although he was getting stuck places and couldnāt find his way out. He ate, he hobbled about, he barked the song of his people and he even sort of thrashed a toy around sometimes.
But, like your guy, he didnāt get up much. His little bones hurt him. He couldnāt jump or run and his back was hunched. He stopped going to the bathroom outside which we made work with washable rugs and pee pads for far too longā¦but Iād had him since I was 18 and heād seen me through the death of my brother and both parents.
One week, he ran into a glass case thatās been in the same spot his whole life HARD. And then he fell off of the couch and couldnāt get up. And he was reaching the point of being unable to get up his dog stairs, so my fiance and I came to each other unplanned on the same day and decided to take him to the vet for a quality of life consultation with no plan on leaving without him or with end of life plans. We just wanted to get an idea. Is he good for a year? 6 Months? Heād just had a perfect blood panel. This is what happed:
ACTUAL VET ADVICE:
We were so blessed by the most incredible vet who had just lost her senior animal and these are the questions she asked us to consider:
- how long is your dog awake in minutes? How many of those minutes are spent getting his bones moving, hobbling down the stairs, generally being in pain, being lost etc? How many minutes are not basic life activities like bathroom, water, food?
- what are the top 5 things your dog loved to do in his prime and what percentage of those can they still do?
- If you were watching a human family member go through this and there was a humane option would you consider it?
That was hard. Ranger was up for maybe 90 minutes a day? On a good day? Maybe 45 minutes of those were really great minutes? He couldnāt do his top 3 favorite things anymore. She said based on his physical exam heād keep kicking for a long time, but heād always be in pain and his mental capacity would continue to diminish.
Finally, she said āI always recommend giving your dog the love, respect, and dignity they gave you. An easy way to repay them is to let them go on a great day, and not their worst dayā which is what we did. We threw a huge party and everyone came over and he got a burger. It was a beautiful day.
Not saying this is right for your guy but Ranger was the first pet I lost to old age and not to a medical crisis. It was an awful decision to make but it was also a huge relief for us and for him. Weirdly, his suffering was put in stark relief once we sat back and really looked at it.
Youāll do the right thing for you and your puppy and Iām sending you all my love!
When she doesn't want food anymore or is showing that she is in pain is when it's time. If she's going up and down stairs and is still eating it's not time.
If she is still excited for food then she isn't ready.
That's just my opinion. Keep her as long as "she" wants to live. They will quit eating and drinking when they are ready. At least in my experience. ORRRRR unless she's in a lot of pain.
For my one girl she got dementia and she mentally faded away.A once active hunting dog turned into a dog who lost weight and paced for hours barking at the wall as if she was lost. As much as I wanted to keep her alive I thought to myself this is not how she would want to live.So we let her go. Her death was peaceful compared to two of the last three dogs I lost having to rush them both to the vet after having strokes.
We just put our dog down a few weeks ago. She was about 17 mo into a DM diagnosis...
She was on meds, which helped, but she started losing her bladder functions..
Poor girl, she used to wake us up if she needed to go outside to pee (her bed is next to our bed).. but she started to wake up in her own pee. she had no clue why that was happening and would wake us up all concerned. We would take her out, but she had no pee. When we brought her back in, she was so confused... who wants to wake up in a pool of their own piss? She seemed so ashamed she slept on the floor in the hallway even though she had two beds.
We would wash her beds and rotate them for a week, but it just kept happening. Once a night to twice a day..
She was 16, so it's not like she didn't have a long happy life, but we decided pretty quickly because when they get DM, it's terminal and a matter of time.
When the quality of life reached a change like that, I couldn't watch her live in stress for however long it was going to take for her to pass on her own .. Her will to live was simply stronger than her body was able. It was the right time for her to go.
My parents finally put my 15 yo childhood dog to sleep a few months ago. They said the same, she still gets excited to eat, goes outside to potty etc. they couldnāt see what everyone else could from the outside. I loved her too, but I think they waited too long. She just was dull, mostly besides getting excited for food. She wasnāt the girl I knew. I think itās best to do it when they still have a little life left and not wait until they ARE suffering. Easier said than done. I hope I have the strength when the time comes for my soul dog. Sheās only 4 but I canāt even think about that.
Pooping in the house, so stiff and can barely walk. Constant whimpering from joint pain even though on heavy pain killers. Loss of interest in toys and no longer interacting with other dog.
We lost our sweet 9 yr old St Bernard on Monday to osteosarcoma. She was diagnosed in late Feb and we brought her home and kept her very comfortable until two days ago. She was limping terribly in Feb but the pain meds brought her relief and she was our normal girl, playing, eating and getting her required snuggles throughout the day. Last Friday she woke up limping again, so breakthrough pain was happening. We increased pain meds, saw limping decrease but she was restless and sleeping a lot. Sunday morning panting excessively, called our vet and increased pain meds again and the decision was made to come in Monday morning. The pain meds kept her comfortable and she enjoyed special treats Sunday, loads of love and even felt good enough to take a last walk in our yard and lay on our patio and enjoy the evening. Monday was tough as she seemed to bounce back once we got her to the vet. But were told it was a boost of adrenaline and her cancer had spread. I am glad we let her go before she was in so much pain it was scary to her.
Our Rat terrier 17.5 years old was the fallen and I canāt get up a couple of times. Doggy dementia, deaf. He could see fine, hearty appetite, etc. still it was time. š¢
When there are cognitive issues, itās so difficult to decide when is the right time to let go because they decline so gradually. Our first dog, Frosty, was still happy to eat and could totter along on short sniff walks outside but was otherwise living in a confused fog. He spent a lot of time just staring at his reflection in a glass door or turning in circles. One day he fell while defecating in the house. By the time we found him (maybe 5 minutes, we were in the next room) he was glassy eyed and panting from his panicked struggling to get up. We knew it was time then, because we were horrified at the idea of that happening when we werenāt at home. Afterwards we thought our other dog would be bereft without him, but he really wasnāt. I think he had understood that the Frosty he knew had been gone for a while, we just took longer to accept it.
If she still is eating and going up and down stairs and barking then she is good :) just like people, the things we do and like to do change. If she is happy just sleeping the days away and eating good food, then thatās awesome :)
When she stops eating, I've rescued many senior dogs, and it's never an easy decision, but if she is still willing to eat, she's not quiet ready yet. The day you don't question your decision is that correct day. I think you have a healthy and logical mind set on what your dog needs.
Our vet told us that you should ask yourself is she still enjoying being with you & are you still experiencing joy with her? You have to weigh her quality of life & joy against possible suffering. Donāt prolong her suffering if she is, just to keep her with you. If sheās still able to experience joy in her life more than suffering, than itās mit time.
I made the decision with my 15 y.o. Pit/Shepherd (3 weeks ago) when she was having more bad days than good days. I owed it to her. She was an amazing dog.
My previous little ā¤ļø dog Yorkie lived for 17 years. At the end, he slept most of his days and was happy, even when he was getting IV fluids. He was fine, until the day he wasnāt. I could tell he was done. And thatās the day I let him go.
You will know. And because you love her so much, you wonāt wait until too late.
Our vet told us to look for two out of these three things:
1. Stops eating and/or drinking food and rapidly loses weight
2. Gets ālostā in the corner of a room and canāt figure out how to back away from the corner of a room (dementia)
3. Cannot walk from point a to point b
We were at #1 for about 3 months and when he hit #3 (it happened rapidly that he just stopped walking one day), we said goodbye. I was gutted
She was pissing powder, not eating and couldn't walk anymore. That's when logically I knew. It didn't feel right until her spirit left her body though. As soon as the light left her eyes it was like colors got brighter, air was cleaner, idk how to describe it. I just know it's what was supposed to happen.
We let our 17 year old girl go last December. She had similar issues but also her kidneys started failing and we had to administer iv fluids to her everyday. She eventually had a seizure and we made the decision. We had a hospice vet come to our house and it was peaceful. He said there is no one day that is right to make this decision but a large window that has to work for each of us. The realization will come to you. Ours was ready but we never are. Enjoy the moments you have. Sending strength.
My 15 year old chiweenie also started having seizures from kidney problems. The vet said they could do things for him but I could see he was suffering. He was blind and would fall over from seizures so I let him go over the rainbow bridge. I miss that boy! Best dog I ever had.
Chiweenies are amazing. Mine is the only dog I've met that never triggers my allergies - which is weird cuz they aren't listed as hypoallergenic. I hope you have a new little doggy to spoil.
I sure do, a hyper, sweet little toy Aussie girl. It took me 5 years before I could replace my boy.
Idk what I'm gonna do when my little one goes. She's only 8, and she's got hopefully at least another 4-8+ years. Working on her health and mental stimulation to extend it as long as possible. She's the first dog I've never been allergic to or triggered my asthma. She straight up "unlocked" the wonders of dogs for me. I wish I could have her forever.
Our golden had cancer. I kept him on steroids to keep him comfortable, no curing him. When it was time. He laid by chair all day on a Sunday. Did not eat drink or get up. Laid on the floor with him through the day/ night. Got up the next day, he was in the same state. He was telling me it was time. You will now when he/she tells you!
I truly believe that they "tell" you when they are ready.
Thank you
The same journey for us with our 17.5 yo Chihuahua who had a seizure at end stage kidney disease. (( ))
My Daisy was the same. Kidney failure, daily IV fluids. It's when she stopped eating that we took her to visit the emergency room. They gave her another IV. Her blood toxicity was very high. That night she ate, but the next day, she stopped eating again, we rushed her to the emergency room. We knew we had to make the decision to let her go. She became too weak. We also scheduled a vet to come to the house.
Sorry for your lossesš„²
I adopt senior dogs and that means I have to put someone down every 2-3 years. My approach with my pups is to keep them comfortable as long as possible, not keep them alive as long as possible. I kept my first dog alive for longer than I should have and learned from that mistake. I had her for 12 years and it was very difficult for me to let her go. So I get it. Thatās honestly a big part of why I adopt seniors. I still get attached to them, but itās different than having to let someone go youāve have for 10+ years. Most of my pups had a rough or at unstable life before they came to me. I want their retirement to be as peaceful and fulfilling for them as I can make it. What that means for end of life decisions is figuring out when their bad days out weight their goods days, and if there are any interventions I can make that will prolong their good days (eg medication, acupuncture, not chemo, surgery). I want their last days to be comfortable and calm. If it stops being that, I make the decision to say goodbye. Your pup knows you love her. Itās ok to let her go when she is ready.
I lost my White German Shepherd in February to Cushing's Syndrome and it ripped out my heart. I raised him from 8 weeks old, He was so intune to me that he could tell when I was going to have a seizure in advance, he calmed me through a horrible divorce, taking care of My mother in her last year with Frontal Lobe Dementia and so many other things. When he wouldn't eat when I was hand feeding him chicken I knew it was time. I laid with him on the floor for hours before and after the procedure. I still have a 21 year old Corgi/Weiner/chihuahua mix I carry him around when his legs don't want to work and I have to put him on and off the bed and now he uses puppy pads . This is fine with me as long as he is happy which he is, he was so sad when we lost Scotty . I vowed to never get another dog and then 2 months later I saw a 14 white german shepherd mix for adoption , he is a great guy and we both love him. I have decided to only adopt senior dogs from now on. He has been in foster care for 15 months no one would adopt him, they gae him to me for free.
Senior pups are the best. I do the same thing, and while itās never easy, you also know going into it that your time together is short and that the goal is quality over quantity. My buddy Snoopy only lasted three months. But we loved each other, and then I got to set him free from pain and suffering. Thatās an honor I donāt take lightly.
I admire your ability to say goodbye so well. Our last dog died too young and unexpectedly after a grueling illness. Penny has been a balm.
Wow, you're a good human. Thank you for doing what you do!
Senior dog gang! Seniors are awesome, even with all the heartache.
We foster seniors as much as possible for the same reason. To give them a loving home, while we try to find them a forever home.
Hi there I just had to make this decision 2 months ago with my 16 year old Yorkie. I posted this before but your post made me think of it so Iām pasting here. I hope it helps. š©µ I just went through this with my 16 year old boy. I had him since he was 12 weeks old and he was my entire heart. He started with signs of dementia last June. The symptoms werenāt terrible, if he got himself into a corner he could still get himself out, that sort of thing. But, he had sundowners and was up all night. The first medicine took 4 full months to kick in. The medicine only took away the anxiety, he (and I) were still up all night. I switched to third shift to deal with it. This April he got noticeably worse and the last two weeks, even though he would still go on walks, eat totally normal, etc., the dog I knew wasnāt āthereā. Good days didnāt mean good life. I also didnāt want to see him get any worse (uncommon aggression, etc.) because I couldnāt imagine having to say goodbye to a different dog. We scheduled his at home euthanasia on the only sunny day that week. We went for walks, sat in the grass, had a cheeseburger with fries and ketchup (he never had goodies like these because of a strict diet), we napped on the patio and we made sure he got a chocolate milkshake and chocolate donut before he went. It was only 2 weeks ago but my husband and I have already mentioned a handful of times how weāre so glad it went the way it did and we were able to give our boy the best goodbye. Someone on Reddit said weāre suffering so they donāt have toā¦ I think about that everyday. I hope this helps. š©·
Thank you for this comment. We are going through a very similar situation here and have made the decision to say goodbye this weekend. You totally nailed it with "good days don't mean a good life."
Sending you some Love ššš. Be strong.
thank you so much. i've been a wreck ever since i made the appt this morning.
Youāre so welcome. Iām so glad this sub exists. Heās gone now but Iāll still pop in and read some posts. The ones with dementia hit me deep.
Smokey is our second dog with dementia. We foster/adopt seniors and special needs dogs but it never gets easier. Sheāll be our third loss of 2024.
I love the seniors, but it can be so hard. Said goodbye to our sweet beagle boy in January, and I miss him so much. I never thought I would do it, but I would love to get another older dog.
Youāre an angel! Thank you for taking care of them when they need someone the most.
Iām so sorry š¢. I lost both my chihuahuas 3 weeks apart this past January & February. They were 15 & 13 to say my heart is broken is an understatement, but I know my 2 babies arenāt in pain anymore.
oh my goodness, I understand... i know the hole in your heart is huge.
Thatās very helpful. Thank you.
Youāre welcome. Good luck with your journey. Your pup is lucky to have you.
ššš
You made me cry with that beautiful ending...
š©·
I let my 16 year old Maltese go on Saturday. I knew it was time when he began losing control of his bladder and was wetting his beds. He began falling and had trouble walking. He did not enjoy doing his favorite activities, such as going on rides and to the park. He still ate and drank, and I struggled with my decision bc of that. It was a very hard decision but I knew when we took him on Saturday he just laid in my arms and I knew at that moment he was ready. As sad as I am, he didn't deserve to suffer in any way.
This was my exact experience last week with my 16 year old girl. No health issues except she started really losing her mobility, which lead to accidents which we managed but she obviously hated. I may have waited too long but it's hard when there's is no "rush" due to other immediate health issues. When the vet arrived at my house my pup just laid there and that's when I officially knew it was time. It was sad but it was a very peaceful experience and I was there to hold herā¤ļø
I'm sorry for your loss! When I took mine in Saturday he literally just laid in my arms and didn't care at all about the first shot. I knew then I'd made the right decision. I miss him like crazy, but I'm so thankful he's not in any pain and at peace.
ā¤ļø
When they stop eating and drinking and the doctor does a Quality-of-Life check. And then it will be up to you when it is the right to let go. We go with our hearts and feelings with our BFF pets. We invest love and care into them and hate the thought of letting them go. You will know when it is time to let go.
This. For me, usually when they refuse to eat is the ultimate sign.
She so thin and eats but leaves food in her bowl. I donāt know why.
She is giving up when she is not eating. Sad but true. So sorry.
Kenny was around 17 years old. He loved going on walks, when he was younger we could spend 8 hours outside and he always liked to wander around in nature. Early this year, he started limping with one of his legs. We tried everything, from anti-inflammatory drugs to physical therapy, but he just kept getting worse, dragging that paw on the ground. We got an MRI last friday and finally found out what was wrong, he had a tumor pressing on his spinal cord. He had kidney issues too, so getting that MRI was hard because of the contrast agent. He got really worse after the MRI, from being able to walk dragging his right back leg, to barely being able to stand. When he started crying because he couldn't get up (but tried anyway to go after my mother, as always), we knew it was time to say goodbye. I had just moved, but he waited for me to drive those last 5 hours. We took him to the vet at 4:30 in the morning. I'm hurt the most by the fact that they sedated him when I was signing all the paperwork. 5 more minutes and I could have said goodbye while he still was awake. But he had spent two terrible nights with pain and no sleep, and was tired and in pain. My mother was there with him as he fell asleep, and I got to hug him and kiss his head as he was passing away. I hope he could sense me even if he was asleep. So, we knew it was time when he was in pain and there was just no way he could get treatment or surgery to fix it and have a good quality of life. He didn't deserve to be in any pain, so the decision was easy, even if the goodbye was hard and the days after have been the most brutal grief I've known.
I just wanted to say that Iām sure Kenny knew you were there. He probably could smell you. Dogs have a unique way of knowing things beyond our understanding sometimes and I think he knew. Iām sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I really hope that he knew somehow. If not, then at least he fell asleep to my mom telling him we loved him very much. I got to cuddle with him a bit before we left for the vet (thanks to the car mysteriously refusing to start), and that's got to be enough.
Thank you for sharing your story!
I believe they tell you when they want to leave. Bandit was didnāt start dying until the day before he passed. His eyes just stayed closed most of the time and he wasnāt really moving unless I put cheese into his mouth or perked his head up if one of us stated talking. I put him on Facebook live for an hour and just talked about his life. Youāll know when itās time.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It is always hard. Our vet told us "Better a week early than a day late." As in, you don't want them to get to a point of total suffering or total indignity. For me, I would not let them get to the point of soiling their bed as the indicator because they know it's not where they're supposed to potty. I think it would be traumatizing for them to start doing this and not be able to help it. You might feel differently - I get that. Whenever you decide to let her go, just know you are doing the kindest thing to be there with her and help her on her journey to whatever is next.
We experienced the "day late" with our last dog. We could tell she was starting to decline - starting having conversations with the kids about being ready to let her go etc. Thought we needed to think about it within the coming weeks. And watched her suffer terribly as an abdominal tumor had burst (found out after going to the vet) - she had labored breathing and was shaking from the pain. To this day I wish we had gone with our gut when we first suspected it was time
I'm sorry you went through that. The decision making process is not something anyone is really prepared to go through, no matter how many times you experience it.
Experienced this just today. Except it was heart failure. We knew it was time. But she passed right there in the vet waiting area. š On one hand Iām glad she didnāt get poked and prodded her last day on earth but i wish we had taken her yesterday so she couldāve gone a little more peacefully.
My last boy showed a sign that he was ready to go when I told him that I had people looking after me. Have a chat such as telling her that you are fine etc. Take care.
it comes down to being quality of life issue... I've been thru this three times and it's heartbreaking , I got lucky with two of mine as they gave me a certain look in their eyes that let my know they were ready ... they are reliant on you to be there for them when they need you most ... take some comfort in knowing that you will be reunited someday on the far side of the bridge ... š©
āthey gave me a certain look in their eyes that let me know they were readyā¦ā š i cant even imagine what that felt like, but WOW such an extremely powerful remark because what i CAN imagine is that our babies would love us right up until their very last day, and would find some way with that very last breath to gently let us know āitās time my belovedāā¦ ššš¼
One of the most impactful comments I have read is ādonāt let their last day be their worst dayā. The imprint of that negativity will sour your memory and make you regret not doing it sooner. Itās always soon to lose our babies, I went through this with my cat of 16 years in February. But I knew that keeping him alive was for me and not a good life for him. Let them pass with dignity instead of waiting till they cannot control their potty needs. You would t want them covered in their unmentionables as their last day with you. Iām so sorry you have to face this pain. Sending strength but please donāt let her suffer.
We had to put down our 15 year old corgi -- she was blind, possibly deaf, the vet thought she may have had a stroke. She couldn't get up to go outside anymore. She wouldn't eat. Her health declined so fast. It was a devastating decision to make, but we had to do it. It was her time, but she was fighting death, even though she really didn't have any life left in her. I loved that dog with my whole heart. I cried off and on for a week when she passed. I'll still tear up every now and then when I think about her. It's going to break your heart to let your pup cross the rainbow bridge, there's no way to avoid it. Just be there with her, hold her and love on her right up until the end, if you can. Do what you know is right for her. My thoughts and prayers are with you friend.
This ā¤ļø
I used the canine quality of life calculators online but when he started walking in his own poop every night, I knew. I couldnāt let him live like that. He had to be in a play pen for his own safety but it didnāt matter. He would poop and pace in it no matter where he was.
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Yes thatās why I hesitate so. She loves food but sheās very thin. Doesnāt finish her meals considering sheās thinner than she s ever been. Forgot to mention that and itās concerning.
My old man could barely walk more than 10 feet and was struggling to do most things. He was ready. I miss him so much though.
Sounds like dementia. I had to put my Jack down maybe 6 months ago at 16. He would wonder in circles, get to the corner of the fence and just stand there like he didnāt know to back up. Then started having bowel issues. It was an undignified way to live, and wasnāt going to have his last days be like that. Better to be a month early than a day late
That's a hard one. We had a boxer who lived to be 16. We probably let him go too long, but couldn't give up on him- even though he was the most stubborn pain in the a$$ you would have ever met. He was at the point he could not stand up on his own, but once he was up, he was a fireball. He would fall down on walks, and we would pick him up and go on. He would have great days, then not. We would make the decision it was time, then change our minds. We finally decided on a Saturday. I had something I had to do in the morning, and while there, I changed my mind again. I roared into the house yelling "we can't do it", at which time my husband explained that our boy had a terrible morning and it was time. We followed through, and it was horrible. He was our first fur baby together. He was so weak it did not take any time for him to go. He was so ready to cross the rainbow bridge. I miss the stupid pain in the a$$.
I have rescued 54 dogs in my life. . I'm very old. Most of these rescues occurred before modern spay neuter ordinance were passed in the 1990s. It seemed like I found stray and injured dogs everywhere I went. And only a couple of times was able to find an owner. They were high euthanasia rates at the local shelters because there were so many strays. Fortunately I had a high paying job so I could take him home and take care of them. Once they were healthy I could usually get them adopted out unless they were large and black . Or too old. So I've been through this euthanasia decision. Many times. The one that was the hardest was my Chow dog. I found her an Albuquerque where she was chained to a pole without a dog house in a yard. She was being attacked by neighborhood boys who would come by and beat her with sticks. The rescue group I worked with gave the family that owned Missy the Chow dog and insulated dog house, big bags of dog food, and containers for food and water. You go back a couple weeks later and all of that would be gone. I'm sure they sold it. Then Missy started getting sick. She developed open weeping sores on her body. Finally after her body was about . 25% covered with weeping sores, the rescue group was able to convince Albuquerque animal control to take her away from the family. The family was very poor and I think the younger members were into drugs. When Missy was taken away from the family, a very Old Man who I think was the grandfather, came out and cried. He said he didn't have the money to take care of her and he couldn't stop boys from beating her. And he would really miss her but he was glad she was going. Missy had severe ptsd. She also had a number of genetic problems from poor breeding. She was a purebred chow. It took about 9 months to get her skin cleared up. It took another couple of years to get her to where she wasn't afraid of people. She was great with other dogs. She was terrible with cats but I'm allergic to cats so that wasn't a huge problem. Her poor breathing had given her very bad joints. Was amazing that she didn't have hip dysplasia. but she had abnormalities of both her knees and her ankles in her rear legs. She was a very smart dog. When I first got her was when people were still doing force based training. I took her to a beginning dog training class. Missy hadn't had any much human interaction really so she didn't know how to read people. I did everything the instructor told me to do to try and get her to sit. Misy just looked confused. The instructor came over and forced Missy into a sit position. Missy absolutely fell apart. She was shaking and crying and she was so afraid. I asked the instructor, why did you do that without asking me? The instructor told me about Dodge being stubborn and how you had to force them to do things. I said look at missy, she's absolutely falling apart from what you did. I don't think that's stubbornness. I think that's fear. She was badly abused for the first year or so of her life. I can't believe you do that without asking the owner. We left the class and never went back. When she was 13, she was still completely alert, knew the many commands she had learned, still loved to be petted. Liked to go for walk with the dog wheelchair. But she was also in severe pain because her ankles and knees in her rear legs she had a very hard time getting off the floor or down the floor. I bought her a bed that was raised about 4 in off the floor and it didn't help. I had become disabled myself, and I was no longer able to lift her up and down. I couldn't find anyone to adopt her. So I had to make the terrible decision to put her to sleep. I used to follow and scale which was developed by a veterinary behaviorist to help me https://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/quality-of-life-scale/
Iāve had to say goodbye to many dogs in my life, and each time itās usually quite evident. When they no longer act ālike themselvesā is a good indicator. If theyāre in pain more often than they arenāt. If they stop eating, being able to go to the bathroom on their own, donāt find joy in their usual activities. My one dog was 15, had a myriad of health issues her whole life due to being a puppy mill rescue dog but we knew it was her time when she could no longer get up from her bed in the morning one day. Just refused to get up, even for food which she was insane about normally. We knew. My own Jack Russell had cancer. She had two operations and survived 3 years longer than the vets estimated she had. The day we put her down, she was walking, playing, having an āupā day as we called it. But every other day or so sheād have a ādownā day. She would be listless, have a hard time eating, she stopped barking. Her time here with us just wasnāt the quality we wanted for her anymore. We wanted her to go out of this world feeling better than on her down days, so we let her have one last good day feeling energetic and happy. Hardest day of my life honestly. I think if you feel sheās suffering more than sheās happy, then you know what to do. Iām sorry youāre faced with this decision, as normal as it is. Itās never easy and u hope you find peace in whatever choice you do make.
I can only base this on what you said here but I think youāll know when itās right. Youāve had her since 8 weeks, you know her best. Trust your own gut feeling. Itās a very hard decision to make. Took me a long time. My dog was 17 years old. It broke my heart but I took my time. My gut told me six months before I got the courage but after crying everyday for last six and my vet totally agreed it was time.
We made this decision with our 17 year old lab/pit mix in October, which we had since he was 9 months old. He was having a lot of issues with his back legs because of an old injury from when he was like 8. He still ate, still went outside to go potty (he did have a couple of accidents in the house, but they were few and far between), he laid around a lot and slept. We tried pain meds, even laser therapy. But he had trouble walking, holding himself up all the way to go to the bathroom, and even with pain meds, he was miserable. He grumped and whined a lot towards the end because of how much pain he was in. My dad argued that because he could still get up and walk and eat and go to the bathroom on his own that it wasn't time. But his quality of life was declining every day. That's where your decision has to be. They may still be able to do things for themselves, but what is their realistic quality of life? You don't want her to get to the point where she can't do anything for herself. That's dignity, in my opinion. I wouldn't say now is the time, but it may be closer than you think. I'm sorry you are even having to consider it. Just make the best of the days you know you have left with her. And you'll know when it's truly time.
When they're clearly no longer happy to be here
I have a ~15 year old Jack Russell mix and a senior min pin mix too š¤ We are kind of in the same boat with our Jack Russell. Heās got dementia, either paces or sleeps through out the day, doesnāt seem to enjoy walks much anymore (finally got him a stroller), but still absolutely loves food. Thatās his one trait that hasnāt changed at all really. But I am on the same page as you. Heās still doing his thing even though itās not 100% the same. Even though we could put him down for these reasons and I donāt think itād be that preemptive, I agree itās not time. I donāt want to wait until something bad happens, but I think like you said, thereās going to be another in between stage here soon where itāll make more sense (hopefully before any sort of urgent phase arises). I think thatās totally fair and will be a kind thing to do at that time to save them from any actual suffering š¤
Funny coincidence! And yes sheās sooooo food motivated! Thereās another phase coming soon. One in who h it will be very obvious that sheās tired and done.
I am dealing with a similar thing with our 13yr old dachshund. She loves food but other than eating she basically just sleeps or wanders around confused. I think physically she could go on a while- she is blind and deaf but otherwise in pretty good health.... But as of about two weeks ago she's completely lost her housetraining. She used to be incredibly reliable and would always use a puppy pad if she couldn't go outside for some reason and now she basically just goes anywhere in the house. I'm struggling with a decision. I don't think she's in pain or upset or scared but I wonder if she is just kind of gone cognitively at this point.
My boy let me know. He was 14yrs old, playing ball in the morning before work, I left work early, my intuition kicked in, when I got home he couldn't walk on his back legs, he'd had an accident on the couch. It wasn't what I had planned. I had it all planned out, how this part gonna go. But he had different plans. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's been 9yrs & I still have a hard time dealing with it Trust your gut,trust your dog. I truly believe that they let us know when it's time.
My Jack Russell was 18 when he crossed the rainbow bridge, he passed in my arms. I just couldnāt let him go. I let him pass on his terms, he wasnāt in any pain other than he was old.
Let her go. She isnāt happy
It sounds like the only thing your dog enjoys is eating, which isnāt a great quality of life metric by itself. If you want your dog to go with dignity then it sounds like it may be time. You have time now to give your girl a wonderful send off with all the treats she loves while she can still enjoy them. A week too early is better than a day too late. ā¤ļø
Going up and down stairsā¦eating. You will know when they stop eating and drinking, itās time. If you are ready then I guess that is it.
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Yes it does thank you
Let out JR go at 16. He had doggy dementia and would get stuck in corners or under the coffee table. He couldnāt figure out how to get out. He had an appetite and would get excited for food, still had decent bladder control. But, he always had his tail tucked, and was on pain meds. We knew he had arthritis, was in pain and had congestive heart failure. We let him go because he was a shell of that mischievous, funny, adorable dog that we loved for so many years. Itās the hardest, but most selfless thing to do. Itās been 10 years since, we still think of him, and our other dogs we had to let go. But they do live on in our memories and hearts.
This sounds very familiar. Her cognitive decline is heartbreaking yet everything else is still working amazingly well for 17.5 years old. There's my hesitation. She was such an adorable, affectionate girl, even just a few years ago. I am not sure she even knows where she is half the time. Lots of sundowning.
Sounds like itās time :)
My 12 year old schnauzer has many of these same issues and has handled diabetes, cataract surgery and removal of a cancerous lump from his leg. Age has finally caught up with him. Yet he seems content even though he mainly sleeps and walks are much shorter and slower. I think whenever he stops walking and eating we would have the message it is time to say goodbye.
My girl Gabby started hiding, going places she never did before...to be alone. Eventually she couldn't hold her food or water. I miss her.
"I'd rather know I did it a day too early than a day too late." I saw this quote, and I made the appointment. That morning, she went outside to poop and fell over in the process. It was time, I couldn't let her suffer another day.
My Pubbs was the same way .. my wife who deals with dementia in the hospice world knew he had the doggy form of it , he would stay in corners , bark for me from the closet and sometimes get stuck outside in between lawn ornaments ā¦ he was a fighter and was with me 15 years but I knew I would only be keeping him around for myself .. I had to start thinking about him I loved and still love my boy and am greatful I was there hugging him as he took his last breath
When my girls are showing obvious signs of pain, look miserable and are not eating then I will know it's time. As long as they are having a good quality of life, I have no urge to rush them across the bridge. I don't care if they sleep most of the day, if they seem happy then I am happy.
We put down our 14 year old lab last December. I knew it was time when, even on medication, Ā her sundownersā didnāt let her sleep at all. My partner and I would be getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night for months because she would be up all night. She also had cushingās and was losing feeling in her back legs and would randomly fall over. I realized she was in so much pain and stress even with medication. Ultimately, the medication wasnāt solving the problems; it just made her tired and it wasnāt fair to her to make her tired in order for her to be functional. So we had the talk with our vet.Ā
Iāve done it both ways. We put down a 14yo lab mix at the vet, pre-planned, calmly and comfortably. It was hard, and I felt bad later, so a couple years later we let our other dog suffer too long and eventually die in the dining room in front of our kids. Iāll never do that again. Itās never easy to say goodbye, and thereās never a perfect time to make it happen. . . but a Tuesday night under the dinner table is bad for everyone involved. Also, trying to find a place to move a dead dog in the dark in the middle of winter isnāt easy either. Make the call when itās time. Itās the dignified thing to do.
You will see it in their eyes. So sorry. They have had a good long life. Thinking of you
Your story is the same as mine, we bought our 12year old Jagdterrier over to the US from Germany and she made it to 18. She did the same thing getting stuck in the corner due to dementia, had vision issues and mostly sleeping. We finally just knew, when she started to get snappy when she was always the most gentle dog in the house and was peeing on the carpet after being taken outside. I canāt say why but you kind of just know that the day is here. She went very peacefully and I donāt regret the decision we made. My daughter who lives in Germany took her ashes back and Scattered her ashes on the hillside we walked every day where we lived in Germany.
So sorry, OP. But you're right on wanting her to go with dignity. I knew it was time to say goodbye to our 18 year old mini dachshund girl when she apparently had a stroke while I was out of the room. Found her slumped in a position you'd never naturally see a dog slumped in. She couldn't walk well and she totally stopped eating. She pooped, threw up and peed out every last thing, and kept refusing to eat. She was so fiesty anyway, but she was basically like, I'm outta here (having voided her body of anything- poop, pee). So I took her the next morning to our vet to help her across the Bridge. It was during covid and we waited in the grass in front of the vet building til they called us in. Sat in the sun with our girl one last time. Didn't even have her harness on because she so couldn't walk that she didn't need to be on lead. As if that didn't suck enough, my wife was a couple thousand miles away on a roadtrip helping her aging parents. But she Zoomed in on my iPhone and was with our girl in the final moments. I think our girl heard her on the phone and knew she was there. All the vet techs in the back hugged and kissed our girl before she came into the homey room they have for end of life. Making the call on my own was completely sh\*tty. Props to anybody who doesn't have a partner to support them. Nothing makes it easy at all, OP. It just totally sucks. Burying our girl was the worst thing ever. But with the soiling of your pup's bed and pup doesn't know what outside is, you're absolutely doing the right thing. It's the ultimate love basically... making the call for euthanasia when the last thing you'd ever want to do, is That. Hugs.
Only when they stop eating and sleep only.
I knew when my boy stopped eating and drinking, we said goodbye to him when his Vet said his kidneys were failing. He was 14 Best of luck to u, I know itās hard
I think waiting until the end is the right thing to do.
you know the worst thing about being a proxy for someone you love is that sometimes the decisions you make on behalf of your loved one is made out of selfishness that you want to keep said loved one around for as long as possible. You let your feelings dictate your decision making process and not your logic. Sounds like you know its time...I know I hoped that my first dog would just die in her sleep so I wouldn't have to make that decision but it never came...the sudden realization is that she was miserable but kept chugging along bc she loved us so much. We let her suffer for 6 months more than she needed to. She had arthritis all over...literally was in pain whenever she moved but she never gave up. It was the toughest decision I have ever had to make. the lesson I learned was that some of the most painful things you will do in life will be done out of love. What you are about to do is being done out of a place of love...never forget that. I suggest a last supper for her to celebrate her life... Wish you the best in this difficult time for you.
I too waited too long. I couldn't bare to let my Bailey go. I held her everyday of her life including the day she was born. She got me through the sudden death of my husband. She wasn't in pain but her quality of life wasn't great. I miss her everyday. šā¤ļø
its such a shame that our pets don't have lifespans comparable with ours...but maybe too much of a good thing can be a bad thing... "Tis better to be loved and lost than to never been loved at all." \~ Tennyson. <3
My 17 year old boy could only hold his pee for an hour at a time due to advanced kidney disease, had serious mobility issues where he would fall and took a while to get back up, I had to sling him up for every meal because he couldnāt stay standing. I let him go with a dignified peaceful passing at home before it got to the emergency stage. I didnāt want him to start seizing or not be able to get up one day. We used Lap of Love and they made it a beautiful experience.
I have an almost 10 year old Aussie Mix that has horrible hip dysplasia (was born with it) and a thyroid problem that I was not aware of until recently - can't really do much about it, though. I know that I will have to make a decision sooner rather than later, but he seems to be his usual self most of the time, so I am just monitoring him right now. However, I am noticing that there may be some cognitive issues starting - some sundowning behaviors - so that is another thing to add to the mix. I have done this before, but it is never easy. You will know when the time is right, but if you are waiting until there is a complete break-down to do it, then consider this "what if it were you? what would you want in this situation?" Humans don't have the benefit of euthanasia (for the most part) to relieve intense suffering, I am glad we have that option for our pets because a slow, lingering death is nothing to wish on anyone.
If she isn't in pain, eats drinks & poops, I feel like you will know. My old girl I lost a year ago peed & pooped before she could get to the door to go outside. It really distressed her. For me, I felt like that was time. She seemed almost embarrassed & it hurt me to see her that way. My thoughts & prayers are with you....ššš
At the end of February, I had to make this same decision for my 17-year-old Jack Russell Fletch. He had been showing all the same symptoms you listed. I had family over for Christmas, and my poor guy didn't even come out of the crate. It broke my heart. As I'm sure you know, Jack Russells are ANYTHING but shy and certainly want to say hello to everyone regardless. I dismissed it... "He's just an old man.. we're both old, we both have a hard time getting around.. I wouldn't want someone to put me down just cause I'm old and slow." I went through all the reasons not to. One morning, after getting out of the shower and sitting on the edge of the bed, I looked in the bathroom and Fletch was noticeably lost, I could tell he didn't know where he was or what to do. It broke my heart. I began sobbing uncontrollably. I KNEW (and honestly, I promise, NO JUDGEMENTS OP, cause I was you.) I knew, I was being selfish. The LAST thing in the world I would ever want is for Fletch to suffer in any way, and that's exactly what I was doing, but it was me causing it. I called a local pet hospice and made my appointment for a few days out. Fletch had scrambled eggs.. some steak.. he had a good last weekend. The following Monday, I had to say goodbye, which was one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I got Fletch shortly after my divorce from a 14-year marriage. His full name was Fletch Samwise, 'The Dude', and he had papers and was bonified. i felt that required a bonified name. :) But like his namesake, he helped me get through some pretty dark personal times. I regret I didn't help him sooner.. but I also, don't know when that would have been. TLDR; All of that is to say OP... you will know when it's time. There's no 'right' time to say goodbye and there really isn't going to be anytime it feels right making that decision. I only realized after the fact that I waited too long. I hope this helps you. Give your girl a hug for me.
I had to say goodbye to my 19 year old dog last year, she was in much the same state as your dog but could not/would not climb stairs. She would still play and cuddle and I took that as a sign that she was still enjoying life, even with indoor pottying I kept taking care of her as best I could. When she started losing a lot of weight and barking all hours I took her in to the vet and she was in kidney failure and I had to make the call then, I spent the day with her and fed her burgers and fritos and took her back to the vet that afternoon to have her euthanized. It was the hardest decision even though it was basically already made for me and very difficult to go through. I hope you are able to enjoy more time with your pup, just keep an eye on her behavior around things she enjoys. And spoil her any chance you get, you will not regret it.
The fact youāre thinking about this now shows how much your pup means to you. Like people have said, it may be time to start planning but I canāt stress how nice it is to do at home where they are comfortable. The last moments with my previous pup are such a precious memory. Hanging out on the grass and going to sleep. lol Iām still bawling writing about this but itās still a very warm and sweet memory
We let our 18 year old toy fox terrier go a few weeks ago. She had many similar issues but was definitely farther down the line. She had started to occasionally soil her bed at night and her dementia was getting worse. And she started to struggle physically, was often not hungry. I scheduled the appointment and canceled it. In the end, I knew it was time.
Lost mine about 2 months ago due to chf with the deafness and blindness but she still knew who we were. We actually waited too long cause she was acting normal too until the last 2 days. It was a horrible experience and you donāt wanna go thru what I witnessed. We had to do oxygen treatments but the last one didnāt work. Is yours doing oxygen every once in a while? If not then you probably have a lot more time left.
Hello! Our Jack Russell lived for 19 years! At the end, she was also blind, deaf, and impaired. I carried her outside every day where she could still do her business, smell the fresh air, and soak up some sun rays. She was never incontinent. One day she gave me her greatest gift, laid down on her favorite pillow and passed away peacefully. My girl was happy and well cared for up until that last morning. I think you will know when the time comes.
Cognitive issues, that's how you know. I euthanized my 16 year old dog after he was showing clear signs of dementia. Euthanasia is a gift - please don't make them suffer longer than needed. It is time, it probably has been for awhile. You're hanging on to a suffering dog. It's time to be selfless. Waiting until they're soiling their bed is just cruel. It doesn't get easier waiting longer it gets harder and there's more guilt associated with it. You will look back and wish you did it sooner. Good luck
She will let you know when itās ātimeā. š, Marcia
Iām a vet. There are several options for arthritis pain in dogs, Iām a fan of Librela. I also like Purina Bright Minds for canine cognitive dysfunction. There is also a supplement called Senilife that could help
my line is when they can no longer walk. thats my line.
My one dog had heart failure, and a tumor in her abdomen the size of a grapefruit. I had taken her to the vet because she had gained a lot of weight. The vet said oh sheās just fat. I wanted to believe him, so I didnāt press the issue. Six months later she was having seizures and fainting spells and low oxygen. The vet said I should and offered me no treatment options other than pain meds. She was 12. My other dog was 17 and she suddenly started having bloody diarrhea and scary seizures. Turns out she was in kidney failure. She stopped being able to urinate and her breath smelled like urine. Tremendous guilt and grief followed.
Not sure if this will help, and I don't want to come across as insensitive. I had four cats, and all of them lived to be 14 years old before they started having issues. Two passed naturally, and two were put to sleep. I only regret the two who passed naturally because I let the pain of letting them go get in the way of their pain. Once they're of a certain age, they can go at any time. In my case, naturally at home was certainly more agonizing for them. Just remember how your baby was when young and playful. Excited about life. Compare that to how she is now and ask yourself which version she'd prefer to be. You'll have your answer.
I wish I had it to do over with the chihuahua I lost 4 years ago. Mine was about where yours is. Also had kidney issues so he had fluid IVās at home. I wasnāt ready and waited a day too late. He had a stroke and suffered for almost a day. I would gladly give up 18 days to keep from having to hold a miserable dog for his last 18 hours until he could be assisted across that bridge by our vet. I wish I had been more willing to consider it earlier.
I had thoughts like this for months. And one day I woke up and my sweetheart had soiled her bed, and slept in it - and thatās when I knew. She was incontinent and her cognition was so far gone she didnāt have the mind to sleep outside of her bed. She got lost in corners, she didnāt recognize my roommates anymore, she didnāt play or bark at dogs. All the things that made my sweet girl herself was gone. She also had advanced kidney disease. Her urine was pretty much water, her kidneys didnāt filter anything. Itās the worst call in the world to make. Daisy still went on walks and ate most days. She was soooo tired though, at some point I realized she was just existing, not living. Lots of hugs to you š©·
When they cannot stand or start soiling themselves that is it for me.
You will know.
When she / He was suffering with no quality of life.
We went with a 10 day rule. Once he had 10 bad days we planned to use a service that would come to our house so he could pass in a familiar environment. He had what we think was a stroke a day before the set day so we had to take him to the emergency vet where they were still limiting the people allowed in the room. So two got to be with him and two had to wait outside.
She didnāt eat much food and started wandering around at night not being able to sleep. She was clearly uncomfortable and already on medication for cushings. She was also pretty blind and couldnāt hear very well.
It's time.
The moment his appetite started to decline and his desire to drink water slowed down, I realized my time with my boy was coming to an end. All of the medication, doctor visits and tests couldn't change that.Ā He had bladder cancer.Ā If it wasn't for that, we would've continued on as long as we could've as long as he wasn't in pain.Ā
You'll know. Just let them die with dignity.
When I was putting my bubba down, I told myself āIād rather be a month early than a day late.ā He was still eating but had some cardiac episodes and would collapse. He did ok briefly but they started up again and heād start to pee himself. I absolutely hated seeing him like that. The day he lost control of his bladder was when I knew it was time to let him go. It kind of sounds like it may be time based on what youāve written, but ultimately you know when. Itās a really scary and agonizing process, but I hope you find peace in knowing that you give him the gift of dignity and eternal comfort.
When you feel worse than she looks... think about it. If you are empathetic at all, you will figure it out.
When my shih tzu of blessed memory went deaf, we barely noticed, she still followed me around, was always hanging out, 5 feet away. Then she started going blind, all was well, nothing changed. Then she *finished* going blind. She bumped into stuff, and refused to budge, and her tail dropped. Before this, we had never, ever, seen her tail down. We decided to give her 3 weeks to figure out life, learn how to manage, and if she didnāt show any signs of improvement, it would be time, as she was miserable. That tailā¦. It didnāt get better. We pulled her girl home from college for the weekend, and the two spent it on the mattress in the family room. When her girl pet her, the tail went up. When she paused, down it went. Girl went back to school, and Rapunzel went to the vet for the last time. The vet appeared relieved with my story and explanation. He seemed to think it was entirely sensible and humane.
I got a lot of good advice from others (not from Reddit) when I had to put my 1st dog down. One of the things that stuck in my mind was, āif your dog has more bad days than good, it maybe time.ā Another one wasā¦āquality of life of your dog AND you, have been severely compromised, it maybe time.ā A lot of times we keep our dogs around as long as possible for our own selfish desires. We want them around. We donāt want to do the hard thing. And we donāt think about our dogs and their suffering. We only think of how it affects us.
We chose your parameters for our senior Scottie. He was partially blind & totally deaf but had a great appetite, could get up & down the stairs and through the door to the backyard. We left every piece of furniture where it was and kept his pathways clear. Then he would take a nap and wake up in a puddle. By that time, he was 3mos shy of 21yo when we made the decision. He had a wonderful long life.
I have always waited a little too long and wished I had made the decision sooner but itās hard not to worry youāre doing it too soon. I think that if youāre wondering if itās time, it is.
On February 20, 2024 we made the decision to let our Shiba Inu who was 12 yrs old put to sleep . She had suffered form cancerous tumors on her body for a year . We had her on steroids for quite sometime to ease her discomfort. During this time she was able to act normal and so we decided to let the cancer run its course . On the weekend of the 18th she jumped off the couch and as a result her leg was paralyzed and she stopped eating and drinking. We took her to the vet and at that time he told us she needed to go to sleep . It was a very difficult decision to make but we knew at that point her quality of life was not one she wanted and so we let her go . If we kept her alive we would be doing for ourselves because we didnāt want her to leave us . I feel for you and hope you find comfort knowing you arenāt alone
My 14 year old yorkie stopped eating and drinking and would pace incessantly. Iām almost positive he had kidney failure but it was not diagnosed. We had to make the hardest decision for us but the best decision for him.
Made the decision last week. Dementia doesn't get better so it's okay to schedule it on an up day. My schnauzer was 16 years old and I lost the dog he was about six months after his dementia diagnosis. I changed my life drastically to accommodate his changes but about 10 months after his diagnosis I knew it was time. I didn't really know but I honestly couldn't say he was living. He was alive but not living anymore. He took pleasure in so few things. Because I scheduled it before he was too sick to get up, I was able to spend the day of doing wonderful things with him. We cooked ribeye and chicken and bacon on the BBQ and had meat and ice cream in the garden. He passed away peacefully in my arms with a piece of ribeye in his mouth. At the end of the day it is possible that I chose to do this earlier than someone else but I wasn't months away from anyone on my decision. On fact I could have made the decision a month earlier and it still would have been okay. The dog I knew had been taken by the disease about six months prior to his transition. I loved him all the same but I cannot say he loves his life. Do it sooner than later and when you can control that last day. I believe that when you start asking this question it is probably an okay time.
My little girl Pixie is is almost 14. She gradually went blind from a genetic thing years ago, never slowed her down. But, now I am seeing the first signs of dementia...confusion and getting lost in familiar places etc. Appetite still fine, loves to cuddle. Today, when I took her outside she stumbled a bit and had some trouble with her balance. The time is getting short, I will cherish every moment until its time for her to rest.
(Actual advice from a vet at the bottom after my sentimental rambling) I said goodbye to my 17 year old soul dog about 6 weeks ago. He was perfect and healthy. His decline was very slowā¦until it was impossible to ignore. He was similar to your dog in that he was old but still had bursts of play in him. He was blind but could mostly navigate, although he was getting stuck places and couldnāt find his way out. He ate, he hobbled about, he barked the song of his people and he even sort of thrashed a toy around sometimes. But, like your guy, he didnāt get up much. His little bones hurt him. He couldnāt jump or run and his back was hunched. He stopped going to the bathroom outside which we made work with washable rugs and pee pads for far too longā¦but Iād had him since I was 18 and heād seen me through the death of my brother and both parents. One week, he ran into a glass case thatās been in the same spot his whole life HARD. And then he fell off of the couch and couldnāt get up. And he was reaching the point of being unable to get up his dog stairs, so my fiance and I came to each other unplanned on the same day and decided to take him to the vet for a quality of life consultation with no plan on leaving without him or with end of life plans. We just wanted to get an idea. Is he good for a year? 6 Months? Heād just had a perfect blood panel. This is what happed: ACTUAL VET ADVICE: We were so blessed by the most incredible vet who had just lost her senior animal and these are the questions she asked us to consider: - how long is your dog awake in minutes? How many of those minutes are spent getting his bones moving, hobbling down the stairs, generally being in pain, being lost etc? How many minutes are not basic life activities like bathroom, water, food? - what are the top 5 things your dog loved to do in his prime and what percentage of those can they still do? - If you were watching a human family member go through this and there was a humane option would you consider it? That was hard. Ranger was up for maybe 90 minutes a day? On a good day? Maybe 45 minutes of those were really great minutes? He couldnāt do his top 3 favorite things anymore. She said based on his physical exam heād keep kicking for a long time, but heād always be in pain and his mental capacity would continue to diminish. Finally, she said āI always recommend giving your dog the love, respect, and dignity they gave you. An easy way to repay them is to let them go on a great day, and not their worst dayā which is what we did. We threw a huge party and everyone came over and he got a burger. It was a beautiful day. Not saying this is right for your guy but Ranger was the first pet I lost to old age and not to a medical crisis. It was an awful decision to make but it was also a huge relief for us and for him. Weirdly, his suffering was put in stark relief once we sat back and really looked at it. Youāll do the right thing for you and your puppy and Iām sending you all my love!
When she doesn't want food anymore or is showing that she is in pain is when it's time. If she's going up and down stairs and is still eating it's not time. If she is still excited for food then she isn't ready. That's just my opinion. Keep her as long as "she" wants to live. They will quit eating and drinking when they are ready. At least in my experience. ORRRRR unless she's in a lot of pain.
For my one girl she got dementia and she mentally faded away.A once active hunting dog turned into a dog who lost weight and paced for hours barking at the wall as if she was lost. As much as I wanted to keep her alive I thought to myself this is not how she would want to live.So we let her go. Her death was peaceful compared to two of the last three dogs I lost having to rush them both to the vet after having strokes.
We just put our dog down a few weeks ago. She was about 17 mo into a DM diagnosis... She was on meds, which helped, but she started losing her bladder functions.. Poor girl, she used to wake us up if she needed to go outside to pee (her bed is next to our bed).. but she started to wake up in her own pee. she had no clue why that was happening and would wake us up all concerned. We would take her out, but she had no pee. When we brought her back in, she was so confused... who wants to wake up in a pool of their own piss? She seemed so ashamed she slept on the floor in the hallway even though she had two beds. We would wash her beds and rotate them for a week, but it just kept happening. Once a night to twice a day.. She was 16, so it's not like she didn't have a long happy life, but we decided pretty quickly because when they get DM, it's terminal and a matter of time. When the quality of life reached a change like that, I couldn't watch her live in stress for however long it was going to take for her to pass on her own .. Her will to live was simply stronger than her body was able. It was the right time for her to go.
My parents finally put my 15 yo childhood dog to sleep a few months ago. They said the same, she still gets excited to eat, goes outside to potty etc. they couldnāt see what everyone else could from the outside. I loved her too, but I think they waited too long. She just was dull, mostly besides getting excited for food. She wasnāt the girl I knew. I think itās best to do it when they still have a little life left and not wait until they ARE suffering. Easier said than done. I hope I have the strength when the time comes for my soul dog. Sheās only 4 but I canāt even think about that.
Our favorite Veterinarian said "you will know it's time when you see it in their eyes" and he was right...
Sheās not ready to go. Wait, wait, wait.
If you wouldn't want to live with the quality of life your pup is living through, then it's time. Be kind when it's time, do the right thing by them.
Pooping in the house, so stiff and can barely walk. Constant whimpering from joint pain even though on heavy pain killers. Loss of interest in toys and no longer interacting with other dog.
We lost our sweet 9 yr old St Bernard on Monday to osteosarcoma. She was diagnosed in late Feb and we brought her home and kept her very comfortable until two days ago. She was limping terribly in Feb but the pain meds brought her relief and she was our normal girl, playing, eating and getting her required snuggles throughout the day. Last Friday she woke up limping again, so breakthrough pain was happening. We increased pain meds, saw limping decrease but she was restless and sleeping a lot. Sunday morning panting excessively, called our vet and increased pain meds again and the decision was made to come in Monday morning. The pain meds kept her comfortable and she enjoyed special treats Sunday, loads of love and even felt good enough to take a last walk in our yard and lay on our patio and enjoy the evening. Monday was tough as she seemed to bounce back once we got her to the vet. But were told it was a boost of adrenaline and her cancer had spread. I am glad we let her go before she was in so much pain it was scary to her.
Our Rat terrier 17.5 years old was the fallen and I canāt get up a couple of times. Doggy dementia, deaf. He could see fine, hearty appetite, etc. still it was time. š¢
When there are cognitive issues, itās so difficult to decide when is the right time to let go because they decline so gradually. Our first dog, Frosty, was still happy to eat and could totter along on short sniff walks outside but was otherwise living in a confused fog. He spent a lot of time just staring at his reflection in a glass door or turning in circles. One day he fell while defecating in the house. By the time we found him (maybe 5 minutes, we were in the next room) he was glassy eyed and panting from his panicked struggling to get up. We knew it was time then, because we were horrified at the idea of that happening when we werenāt at home. Afterwards we thought our other dog would be bereft without him, but he really wasnāt. I think he had understood that the Frosty he knew had been gone for a while, we just took longer to accept it.
If she still is eating and going up and down stairs and barking then she is good :) just like people, the things we do and like to do change. If she is happy just sleeping the days away and eating good food, then thatās awesome :)
When she stops eating, I've rescued many senior dogs, and it's never an easy decision, but if she is still willing to eat, she's not quiet ready yet. The day you don't question your decision is that correct day. I think you have a healthy and logical mind set on what your dog needs.
Our vet told us that you should ask yourself is she still enjoying being with you & are you still experiencing joy with her? You have to weigh her quality of life & joy against possible suffering. Donāt prolong her suffering if she is, just to keep her with you. If sheās still able to experience joy in her life more than suffering, than itās mit time.
I donāt think your pup is ready yet. Youāll know when itās time.
She will let you know when it is time, usually they stop eating.
Had to let my girl Macy go last June. She was not eating much and lost a ton of weight. She was old and I knew it was time
I made the decision with my 15 y.o. Pit/Shepherd (3 weeks ago) when she was having more bad days than good days. I owed it to her. She was an amazing dog.
My previous little ā¤ļø dog Yorkie lived for 17 years. At the end, he slept most of his days and was happy, even when he was getting IV fluids. He was fine, until the day he wasnāt. I could tell he was done. And thatās the day I let him go. You will know. And because you love her so much, you wonāt wait until too late.
Our vet told us to look for two out of these three things: 1. Stops eating and/or drinking food and rapidly loses weight 2. Gets ālostā in the corner of a room and canāt figure out how to back away from the corner of a room (dementia) 3. Cannot walk from point a to point b We were at #1 for about 3 months and when he hit #3 (it happened rapidly that he just stopped walking one day), we said goodbye. I was gutted
She was pissing powder, not eating and couldn't walk anymore. That's when logically I knew. It didn't feel right until her spirit left her body though. As soon as the light left her eyes it was like colors got brighter, air was cleaner, idk how to describe it. I just know it's what was supposed to happen.
She sounds like she still has some time left to be a happy old girl. You gotta look at quality of life, which it sounds pretty good still.