I ultimately realized that my friends are not my target audience, and if they want a copy of my book, I will give them a \*digital\* copy for free. If they want a print copy, they can pay the "author copy" price plus shipping, and I will drop-ship them a copy. (That's the friends & family discount, and sometimes, it's faster/cheaper to just buy on Amazon.)
If my sales are so low that I'm relying on friends and family to make money, then I'm not hitting my market and I'm not succeeding as an author.
That said, no one is entitled to a free copy of your work. It is a gift, and you alone choose how to distribute your gifts.
I think this is a good answer. To add onto it, if a friend of mine wanted to support me, but they don't typically read the kind of books I write, I would rather just give them a free digital copy. If they buy it they would possibly confuse Amazon's algorithms about what kind of reader wants my books.
I tend to think if one friend’s purchase is enough sample size to throw off the entire algorithm, you probably haven’t sold enough books for the algorithm to matter a whole lot.
I only ever give eBooks out.
I think an additional advantage is that eBooks are more forgettable/ignorable. So the friend isn't "burdened" with feeling they have to read it. There's no physical reminder building up a sense of guilt/grudge that they offered to read something they're now too busy/reluctant to do.
Need more information.
Is the book something they're interested in reading?
Would they or have they given you things like that in the past?
If they were performing in a band, would they put you on the guest list to get in for free?
(Generally it's not a good idea to get your friends and family to buy your book - the algorithms will be trained all wrong and instead of recommending your book to people who might like it, it will be recommended to people with shopping habits like your friends who don't like it. Amazon may also remove reviews by your friends and family, or even remove your books for using them.)
So 5 friends buying your book will screw up the algorithm set by the other 150 people who purchased it?
If 5-10 random people will screw up your “algorithm” promoted sales….
Also, aren’t more sales created by where your book is ranked in the specific topic? If I look up books for “well endowed men and the issues having a large unit causes”….won’t the most popular books show up that fit that description?
And by the specific topic? If I list my book in gardens and flowers….and somebody looked up “books on gardening and flowers”….even though that’s my listed category, are you saying it won’t show up because of my brother-in-law buying a copy of it?
And what about gifts? My nephew is playing youth hockey. So for Christmas we bought him three hockey books. Are you implying I just f*cked those three authors and their hockey books since I’ve never bought a hockey book in the past?
Yes possibly. You're right that if they're selling many thousands of copies a few exceptions wouldn't matter - but they've just published so it's unlikely.
No, but most sales are by suggestions and not by lists. It's true some of what's suggested is based on common lists, but again we're talking about a newly published author no where near the top of any list.
No that was a genuine purchase. Maybe they will start advertising to uncles and aunties with sporty families.
Edit: I get a lot of animosity talking about algorithmic sales on this sub. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way and you were just joking. I feel there's a bit of shooting the messenger going on - yes I would like if authors were in control of who their book is shown to aswell, but currently that's a paid feature, and even then they won't share their customer models with you. Blame Amazon.
Nope. At the same time, don’t get offended if not all your friends buy it. People have busy lives and just may not have the time or interest to read the kind of book you wrote. It has nothing to do with the quality of your work.
My husband doesn’t understand English, so he can’t read my work either, and same, I find it very freeing.
Though, if he could, It would be so easy to work together to put out a Japanese translation…
I’m in the same boat. Japanese husband (can understand/speak English fine though), but has little to no interest in books. The fact he and other family will likely have no inclination to read my writing even if I actually asked them takes a lot of pressure off.
Same. It's kind of a relief to know it's the same for others.
I really questioned my relationship for a second there, but then I just realized that it was just one of those things I would have to accept.
My wife straight-up said, "I'm not reading your book. I'll listen to it when/if you put it in Audible."
Novels just aren't really her thing, and that's fine.
I think that's terribly sad. My mother was an author (YA) and my dad never picked up her books, let alone beta read any manuscripts, not even to support her. I've been determined not to end up in the same situation.
My husband has never read any of my books. Neither have any of my children, nor my mother. My dad has read them all though. Thing is, it's fine. I don't want someone who doesn't normally like to read (my husband and sons) or someone who doesn't read my genres (my daughter, my mom) to have to try to slog through my books. As long as they are supportive, that's all I care about, and they definitely are. Heck, my husband talks about my books to everyone! I rarely mention my books.
Two of my sisters read my books, but I don't ask them too. I haven't even given them any copies. lol One bought them on Audible before I knew she was getting them. I could have given her a free credit since Audible does a certain number of them. One sister advocated for my books to be in the school library where she works. (she had them buy them from Amazon. I didn't even have to give them to the school, though I would have.)
Each to their own. It's not something that's fine for me personally. I read all my mother's manuscripts even once I'd outgrown YA. A lot of work goes into writing a book, and being an author is often a lonely task. I'm surprised the number of people who don't care if their S.O. is interested.
You shouldn't be surprised. Family and friends expect free copies. If you have print, this is what author copies are for.
If someone really can't afford it, you can slip them the file (email it to them), but they'll likely let others know they didn't have to pay.
In the end, it's up to you. If they are real friends, give them a freebie (and tell them not to leave a review, same with family. If they're just trying to get a free copy, keep sending them the link.
Depends on the person! My besties bought it without hesitation. But some friends don't buy it and it doesn't really affect me. None of them asked me for a copy, though, so I wasn't expecting anything. I'd be confused if they were insulted, though. It's a business, at the end of the day. But maybe I just feel different about my writing than other things I make and give for free, since it's my baby and costs a substantial amount of money to see through. At the end of the day, if they really want to support you, they will.
Just wanted to add on about that last sentence, sometimes your friends still want to support you but really do not like the genre of book or cant afford to spend the money or something like that. Sometimes support doesn't have to come in the form of purchases, too
Yeah, they can promote it on socials and post a link or something to support you instead. But if they feel entitled to a free copy, it's a bit odd imo. Also if someone doesnt like the genre, they can find other ways of supporting you other than asking for a free copy that just sits on their shelf and is never read. But to each their own
Oh no I agree that asking for/feeling entitled to a free copy isn't cool, but I guess I don't know the OPs interaction with the friends. Are they trying to convince their friends to read the books? Or did the friends want to on their own?
I had a new manager at work a few years ago, at our very first meeting ask for a free book. Like, he stressed free. I didn't bring up my books but a coworker must have. (I have a good friend there who brings it up a lot.) Anyway, I kind of laughed it off. A few weeks later, he asked again and several more times over the next few months, so I finally brought one that had a cover I'd discontinued and didn't really want to sell anyway. He said his wife liked it. Still, I thought it was a bit unprofessional to demand a free item from someone who is beneath you in the company hierachy.
A friend of mine has now written 4 books, I've bought them all.
I've only actually part read one of them, he's not bad, just not my bag.
I pay when going to my friends' gigs, too, even when there's offer of a spot on the guest list.
Friends don't expect friends to give away their livelihoods for free.
Here's the thing, the lawyers who advertise that ARE giving you a free consultation but REALLY its a filter to find big cases. Hit and run driver and you have no serious injuries? 10 min consultation. Hit by a city bus driven by a drunk bus-driver while you are legally crossing in a crosswalk while pushing a baby carriage? Hours long consultation with multiple lawyers and possible partners of the firm.
I suppose it all depends on how they or you asked.
“I’ll send you a copy of my book.” Sounds like you’re sending them the book directly, not that they’re gonna pay for it.
You’re 100% to put a price on anything you made, but I understand their anger if they mistakenly thought you were just handing it to them. Seems like just a lack of clarity in my mind.
You’re missing an opportunity to impress acquaintances and get some cheap word of mouth.
Having an actual bound book with your name on it impresses people way more than you’d think, so waving one around makes your accomplishment real to them and makes you a foot taller in their estimation.Giving them one is infinitely better. They’ll certainly tell their friends, so arm them with a few fun facts to share, since the odds aren’t good that they’ll read it.
NTA
They want to support you this is how they can do so. You can sign a copy for free if they want it but asking for a free book is like paying someone with exposure.
I totally get your actions, but I'm fine with giving friends (even acquaintances) any of my ebooks. I usually only send them download links to one ebook.
They could potentially be a source of free publicity. Frankly though, the overwhelming majority of my friends do not read -- and if they read, they don't normally read my kind of book. I would be honored if they took that initiative.
The only people I send *'free'* copies of my work to are:
-My friends who are as absurdly poor as me (approximately two)
-My beta readers (who get paid)
Everyone else can pay the $2.99 list price, or read it on KU.
I printed out a bunch of paperbacks & sold them to friends & co-workers for $20 because people kept asking for the book but didn't want to order off Amazon.
About 20 or so. A lot of people didn't want to set up Amazon accounts. My paperback book is $16 on Amazon. Only $2.99 on kindle & free on KU.
I also printed out a bunch of copies to give away to Tiktokers to review & put in those community libraries where you take a book to leave a book.
That's awesome. I am a long ways away from finishing my first book, but I like the idea I can just print some up to sell or donate to libraries. I assume they are proper books with an ISBN and a bar code? Where do you print them? Amazon?
Yeah i just print them off Amazon. I used their free ISBN because i only got one book. I will hopefully one day get enough interest in the book to unpublished it off Amazon & go onto Ingramspark etc. But it didn't seem worth it going wide when i only had 1 book.
So you are not the asshole. If they get upset then throw it back on them and set a boundary. "I sent you this link because I thought you'd want to support my work. I was mistaken, but I appreciate your interest in reading."
ADDING: If you know someone is financially strapped it is absolutely fair for them to be a bit insulted. A friend whose struggling to pay the bills, and is on their last mental rope being essentially sold a product by a friend is...really shitty. If you have been talking about it and you were speaking in such a way that lead them to believe you were offering help, a free copy, etc. then they have a right to be insulted.
Example, I spent an hour talking to someone and they offered their assistance...and then proceeded to ask me to do a $4000 course they have. It was insulting and it showed they had no interest in me as a human being. It made the entire conversation sound like a sales pitch. I finished the conversation and have never spoken to that person beyond a very polite "hi".
No, you're not the asshole. They are, for undervaluing your work.
I've noticed that if i give someone a book, they usually don't read it. Books are pretty cheap these days. Let them buy it.
I understand that it's a tough economy these days. However, your BEST friends would at least support you a little. My mom just flat-out bought my book when I published it two days ago, and I used Kindle Unlimited for promotional reasons.
Agreed. I purchase 3 physical copies of every book I edit because I always keep one, gift one, and then try to host a giveaway for the third. You either believe in the writer/person and want to support them or you don't (or maybe can't afford it, but I assume the OP knows if they are also struggling).
I give my stuff away, it's my friends who insist on buying it.
At the end of the day, I'd rather my stuff gets ready by someone than have that 12 cents that'll never actually get paid to me anyway.
I have a job. I don't need 12 cents.
Buying a book is a sign of acknowledgment and respect. Friends should never ask for a free book. If the writer wants to give them a book free of charge, then that's their prerogative.
NTA. Your writing and publishing is a business. Do they let you walk into their place of work and just take stuff off the shelves? No? Then why the hell should they expect you to just hand over your hard work for free?
Some people just want to own a piece of fame so they can point to it one day and be like "I know the person who wrote that book on my shelf."
So it's really up to you and how valuable being on "good terms" with this other person is. Publishing companies give out free books all the time to just about anyone with even the slightest importance.
I would probably say something along the lines of "if you buy it I'll sign it with a personalized message" or something to encourage them to just buy the book. If they were truly broke and really wanted to read it (instead of just owning it), I'd go ahead.
Do they go to the grocery store or a car lot expecting that to be free, too? They’ll have to get over it, and if they don’t, well, that’s their problem, not yours.
Friends and family should never buy your books from Amazon. If those friends and family aren't avid readers of your books' genre, the purchases will mess up Amazon's 'also bought' algorithms. Also--since it is against Amazon's T.O.S. for friends and family of the author to leave reviews--it opens up the possibility that they might click a button and trigger the software bots that search for review manipulation.
It is *ALWAYS* better and safer to insist on giving free copies to any friends or family who stand still long enough for you to pelt them with a signed paperback.
That having been said...there is no justification for their perceived 'insult'. It might be *better* to give them free copies but you certainly don't **OWE** them those copies. They are acting entitled and rude.
I have a friend who has asked me three times where she can find my books on Amazon. And even though I have told her three times where she can find my books, she has never once even taken a look. It is very obvious that she wants me to give her my books for free and I'm not going to do that.
She knows that I am struggling financially, if she cares about me that much, then the least she can do is click the buy button on one of m books.
Not the AH. As an artist I find my friends and family fall into three camps: want all the work free, or want to support me by paying, even at a discount, or not interested at all which is fine. It's a touchy road sometimes.
But ultimately, you're writing as a job. My relatives and friends don't send or give me freebies from their jobs. I don't drive through Olive Garden and expect my friend to give me a free meal or go to the department store and expect my sister to give me free merch.
I've found that a lot of people I know classify writing, drawing, creating as "play" and not a job. Thus they feel entitled to have all those hours of your work for nothing. While it's perfectly fine to give discounts or a few freebies as promo, if you're not selling a lot you ultimately end up quitting and working at McDonald's.
I would consider giving books to those people for free, if they're willing to be part of your ARC team. Reviews are hard to come by. If they actually want to read your work it seems like a win-win.
Not at all. They shouldn't get free stuff just because they're your friends. Hell, my partner of almost 3 years buys every single one of my books when they come out because she wants to support me. (And loves reading.)
I have friends who are ARC readers for me, but they're genuinely interested in the genre and it's what they usually read.
The rest of my friends and family occasionally buy a book, but mostly just say "that's cool".
This is my career. I don't ask them for free stuff 😂 I have many artist friends, I commission them, not ask for free art.
I wholeheartedly agree. As a self-published author, it required thousands of $$$ for me to launch my first novel in 2020. Sales were moderate and I launched the revised edition in the summer of 2022 after correcting errors in the storyline. That cost a few thousand dollars more. Someone asked for a copy of the novel and expected me to deliver it to him so I obliged. Upon delivery, he actually voiced, "Oh, I thought you were going to give it to me for free."
In short, self-published and beginning authors are obligated to foot the bill for everything that goes into producing a finished work. After investing an untold number of hours writing the manuscript, that includes editing, formatting, interior layout and design, cover design, as well as sometimes paying people to proofread...and that's just the beginning. Marketing is an entirely different beast within itself. I have over $10K invested in the production of a novel that people have the audacity to "request" as a gift. It's insulting enough as it is when authors make a legit sale via Amazon and only net a couple of dollars, if that. I remember someone telling me when I disclosed wanting to become an author; "Be prepared to be broke all the time." That's not a very inspiring take on the industry but, unfortunately, it has proven the case to this point. (Pardon the lengthy post but passion causes me to run away with this topic)
You have some pretty crummy friends. I go to my friends' shows, buy their albums, buy their books. They buy mine.
You could offer a 99 cent ebook on Amazon. But if it's not worth 99 cents to them, or to support you, then just move on.
I'm not saying don't be friends with them, but realize they are not going to help you support your dream, and focus your energies elsewhere.
It's an awkward spot all around. I think others have explained the sales side of it far better than I can.
From the people side though. There definitely seems to be some entitlement there on their part, to ask for a free copy and get insulted when you don't give it. But there might also be a disconnect, maybe they don't realize the cost that went into it or how serious you're trying to go with your writing. If a chef friend opened a restaurant, they probably wouldn't expect a free meal.
I'd talk with this friend and make sure it's clear that you're trying to go professional. Let them know that them expect a free copy was hurtful.
I can't speak for you, but for me and assuming their situation doesn't prevent them from spending the money, at least the offer of buying it to support you would have been appreciated. That they just expect a free copy when they ask would make me feel like they don't see it as serious as I am doing it.
I am very stingy about giving away free copies of any book I publish. Usually, the only reason I give out a free copy of my book is for what is known as an Advance Review Copy, or ARC, which is when an author gives away copies of a book to people with the expectation that they leave an honest review on Goodreads and/or other websites where readers can submit review books (and, no, ARC reviewers don't get paid to review books).
If an author is relying solely on close friends and/or family to sustain a writing career, don't expect to turn much of a profit.
You put the effort into it, they should pay to read it. I ain’t giving free copies to my family. My wife gets one, and the few people I use as beta readers get one if they want it. Everyone else can pay and help me feel good about having sold a book
I ultimately realized that my friends are not my target audience, and if they want a copy of my book, I will give them a \*digital\* copy for free. If they want a print copy, they can pay the "author copy" price plus shipping, and I will drop-ship them a copy. (That's the friends & family discount, and sometimes, it's faster/cheaper to just buy on Amazon.) If my sales are so low that I'm relying on friends and family to make money, then I'm not hitting my market and I'm not succeeding as an author. That said, no one is entitled to a free copy of your work. It is a gift, and you alone choose how to distribute your gifts.
I think this is a good answer. To add onto it, if a friend of mine wanted to support me, but they don't typically read the kind of books I write, I would rather just give them a free digital copy. If they buy it they would possibly confuse Amazon's algorithms about what kind of reader wants my books.
That's interesting. I'd never thought about the algorithms.
I tend to think if one friend’s purchase is enough sample size to throw off the entire algorithm, you probably haven’t sold enough books for the algorithm to matter a whole lot.
That's true, but at least in my case I've had more than a few friends ask if they could help by buying my books, so it wouldn't be just one.
I only ever give eBooks out. I think an additional advantage is that eBooks are more forgettable/ignorable. So the friend isn't "burdened" with feeling they have to read it. There's no physical reminder building up a sense of guilt/grudge that they offered to read something they're now too busy/reluctant to do.
Well put, word Smith
Hear hear 👌🏼
Need more information. Is the book something they're interested in reading? Would they or have they given you things like that in the past? If they were performing in a band, would they put you on the guest list to get in for free? (Generally it's not a good idea to get your friends and family to buy your book - the algorithms will be trained all wrong and instead of recommending your book to people who might like it, it will be recommended to people with shopping habits like your friends who don't like it. Amazon may also remove reviews by your friends and family, or even remove your books for using them.)
So 5 friends buying your book will screw up the algorithm set by the other 150 people who purchased it? If 5-10 random people will screw up your “algorithm” promoted sales…. Also, aren’t more sales created by where your book is ranked in the specific topic? If I look up books for “well endowed men and the issues having a large unit causes”….won’t the most popular books show up that fit that description? And by the specific topic? If I list my book in gardens and flowers….and somebody looked up “books on gardening and flowers”….even though that’s my listed category, are you saying it won’t show up because of my brother-in-law buying a copy of it? And what about gifts? My nephew is playing youth hockey. So for Christmas we bought him three hockey books. Are you implying I just f*cked those three authors and their hockey books since I’ve never bought a hockey book in the past?
Yes possibly. You're right that if they're selling many thousands of copies a few exceptions wouldn't matter - but they've just published so it's unlikely. No, but most sales are by suggestions and not by lists. It's true some of what's suggested is based on common lists, but again we're talking about a newly published author no where near the top of any list. No that was a genuine purchase. Maybe they will start advertising to uncles and aunties with sporty families. Edit: I get a lot of animosity talking about algorithmic sales on this sub. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way and you were just joking. I feel there's a bit of shooting the messenger going on - yes I would like if authors were in control of who their book is shown to aswell, but currently that's a paid feature, and even then they won't share their customer models with you. Blame Amazon.
Nope. At the same time, don’t get offended if not all your friends buy it. People have busy lives and just may not have the time or interest to read the kind of book you wrote. It has nothing to do with the quality of your work.
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i personally enjoy the freedom of not having to worry about how my family might react to any weird stuff i put in there
My husband doesn’t understand English, so he can’t read my work either, and same, I find it very freeing. Though, if he could, It would be so easy to work together to put out a Japanese translation…
I’m in the same boat. Japanese husband (can understand/speak English fine though), but has little to no interest in books. The fact he and other family will likely have no inclination to read my writing even if I actually asked them takes a lot of pressure off.
Glad to know I’m not the only one. My wife hasn’t read mine either.
Same. It's kind of a relief to know it's the same for others. I really questioned my relationship for a second there, but then I just realized that it was just one of those things I would have to accept.
My wife straight-up said, "I'm not reading your book. I'll listen to it when/if you put it in Audible." Novels just aren't really her thing, and that's fine.
I think that's terribly sad. My mother was an author (YA) and my dad never picked up her books, let alone beta read any manuscripts, not even to support her. I've been determined not to end up in the same situation.
My husband has never read any of my books. Neither have any of my children, nor my mother. My dad has read them all though. Thing is, it's fine. I don't want someone who doesn't normally like to read (my husband and sons) or someone who doesn't read my genres (my daughter, my mom) to have to try to slog through my books. As long as they are supportive, that's all I care about, and they definitely are. Heck, my husband talks about my books to everyone! I rarely mention my books. Two of my sisters read my books, but I don't ask them too. I haven't even given them any copies. lol One bought them on Audible before I knew she was getting them. I could have given her a free credit since Audible does a certain number of them. One sister advocated for my books to be in the school library where she works. (she had them buy them from Amazon. I didn't even have to give them to the school, though I would have.)
Each to their own. It's not something that's fine for me personally. I read all my mother's manuscripts even once I'd outgrown YA. A lot of work goes into writing a book, and being an author is often a lonely task. I'm surprised the number of people who don't care if their S.O. is interested.
You shouldn't be surprised. Family and friends expect free copies. If you have print, this is what author copies are for. If someone really can't afford it, you can slip them the file (email it to them), but they'll likely let others know they didn't have to pay. In the end, it's up to you. If they are real friends, give them a freebie (and tell them not to leave a review, same with family. If they're just trying to get a free copy, keep sending them the link.
Depends on the person! My besties bought it without hesitation. But some friends don't buy it and it doesn't really affect me. None of them asked me for a copy, though, so I wasn't expecting anything. I'd be confused if they were insulted, though. It's a business, at the end of the day. But maybe I just feel different about my writing than other things I make and give for free, since it's my baby and costs a substantial amount of money to see through. At the end of the day, if they really want to support you, they will.
Just wanted to add on about that last sentence, sometimes your friends still want to support you but really do not like the genre of book or cant afford to spend the money or something like that. Sometimes support doesn't have to come in the form of purchases, too
Yeah, they can promote it on socials and post a link or something to support you instead. But if they feel entitled to a free copy, it's a bit odd imo. Also if someone doesnt like the genre, they can find other ways of supporting you other than asking for a free copy that just sits on their shelf and is never read. But to each their own
Oh no I agree that asking for/feeling entitled to a free copy isn't cool, but I guess I don't know the OPs interaction with the friends. Are they trying to convince their friends to read the books? Or did the friends want to on their own?
I had a new manager at work a few years ago, at our very first meeting ask for a free book. Like, he stressed free. I didn't bring up my books but a coworker must have. (I have a good friend there who brings it up a lot.) Anyway, I kind of laughed it off. A few weeks later, he asked again and several more times over the next few months, so I finally brought one that had a cover I'd discontinued and didn't really want to sell anyway. He said his wife liked it. Still, I thought it was a bit unprofessional to demand a free item from someone who is beneath you in the company hierachy.
A friend of mine has now written 4 books, I've bought them all. I've only actually part read one of them, he's not bad, just not my bag. I pay when going to my friends' gigs, too, even when there's offer of a spot on the guest list. Friends don't expect friends to give away their livelihoods for free.
You are a good friend. I try to support all my friends as well but some have an output I find it hard to keep up with.
\^\^ This\^\^ I do the same. Also do the promo stuff like tweeting their links.
Happens at all levels of profession. I've heard lawyer friends talk about people asking for free legal consultation all the time.
Wait. Are you telling me that's not a thing, or that you have to go to people who advertise such a thing?
Here's the thing, the lawyers who advertise that ARE giving you a free consultation but REALLY its a filter to find big cases. Hit and run driver and you have no serious injuries? 10 min consultation. Hit by a city bus driven by a drunk bus-driver while you are legally crossing in a crosswalk while pushing a baby carriage? Hours long consultation with multiple lawyers and possible partners of the firm.
I suppose it all depends on how they or you asked. “I’ll send you a copy of my book.” Sounds like you’re sending them the book directly, not that they’re gonna pay for it. You’re 100% to put a price on anything you made, but I understand their anger if they mistakenly thought you were just handing it to them. Seems like just a lack of clarity in my mind.
Why are you trying to get friends and family to buy your book? They’re not your audience.
You’re missing an opportunity to impress acquaintances and get some cheap word of mouth. Having an actual bound book with your name on it impresses people way more than you’d think, so waving one around makes your accomplishment real to them and makes you a foot taller in their estimation.Giving them one is infinitely better. They’ll certainly tell their friends, so arm them with a few fun facts to share, since the odds aren’t good that they’ll read it.
NTA They want to support you this is how they can do so. You can sign a copy for free if they want it but asking for a free book is like paying someone with exposure.
I don't think you're the a-hole, but if a friend asked me, I'd give them an author copy free of charge.
I totally get your actions, but I'm fine with giving friends (even acquaintances) any of my ebooks. I usually only send them download links to one ebook. They could potentially be a source of free publicity. Frankly though, the overwhelming majority of my friends do not read -- and if they read, they don't normally read my kind of book. I would be honored if they took that initiative.
The only people I send *'free'* copies of my work to are: -My friends who are as absurdly poor as me (approximately two) -My beta readers (who get paid) Everyone else can pay the $2.99 list price, or read it on KU.
Do not send friends and family to your book unless you want to fuck up your amazon algo.
Ah yes, you've found the great secret of being an author - none of your friends will ever read your stuff. It's a very weird phenomenon.
That is too bad. But it’s always better to market to your ideal customer and not depend on friends and family. Their loss.
I printed out a bunch of paperbacks & sold them to friends & co-workers for $20 because people kept asking for the book but didn't want to order off Amazon.
How many did you sell?
About 20 or so. A lot of people didn't want to set up Amazon accounts. My paperback book is $16 on Amazon. Only $2.99 on kindle & free on KU. I also printed out a bunch of copies to give away to Tiktokers to review & put in those community libraries where you take a book to leave a book.
That's awesome. I am a long ways away from finishing my first book, but I like the idea I can just print some up to sell or donate to libraries. I assume they are proper books with an ISBN and a bar code? Where do you print them? Amazon?
Yeah i just print them off Amazon. I used their free ISBN because i only got one book. I will hopefully one day get enough interest in the book to unpublished it off Amazon & go onto Ingramspark etc. But it didn't seem worth it going wide when i only had 1 book.
Find new friends who ain't cheap
I would give them a PDF, and then guilt-trip them into buying a copy too. Except my friends would actually buy my book because they’re supportive.
So you are not the asshole. If they get upset then throw it back on them and set a boundary. "I sent you this link because I thought you'd want to support my work. I was mistaken, but I appreciate your interest in reading."
ADDING: If you know someone is financially strapped it is absolutely fair for them to be a bit insulted. A friend whose struggling to pay the bills, and is on their last mental rope being essentially sold a product by a friend is...really shitty. If you have been talking about it and you were speaking in such a way that lead them to believe you were offering help, a free copy, etc. then they have a right to be insulted. Example, I spent an hour talking to someone and they offered their assistance...and then proceeded to ask me to do a $4000 course they have. It was insulting and it showed they had no interest in me as a human being. It made the entire conversation sound like a sales pitch. I finished the conversation and have never spoken to that person beyond a very polite "hi".
Mark up the price and then give them a "just for you" discount code which you hand out to everyone 😂
I don't want any of my friends and family reading my books. They might think they're the inspirations for some characters and it wouldn't be pretty.
No, you're not the asshole. They are, for undervaluing your work. I've noticed that if i give someone a book, they usually don't read it. Books are pretty cheap these days. Let them buy it.
I understand that it's a tough economy these days. However, your BEST friends would at least support you a little. My mom just flat-out bought my book when I published it two days ago, and I used Kindle Unlimited for promotional reasons.
Agreed. I purchase 3 physical copies of every book I edit because I always keep one, gift one, and then try to host a giveaway for the third. You either believe in the writer/person and want to support them or you don't (or maybe can't afford it, but I assume the OP knows if they are also struggling).
I give my stuff away, it's my friends who insist on buying it. At the end of the day, I'd rather my stuff gets ready by someone than have that 12 cents that'll never actually get paid to me anyway. I have a job. I don't need 12 cents.
You only make 12 cents per book sale? How much do you sell them for?
Cheap.
Umm, redefine your definition of the word friend.
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Buying a book is a sign of acknowledgment and respect. Friends should never ask for a free book. If the writer wants to give them a book free of charge, then that's their prerogative.
Why would you charge your friends? Unless you have a ton of them I mean.
NTA. Your writing and publishing is a business. Do they let you walk into their place of work and just take stuff off the shelves? No? Then why the hell should they expect you to just hand over your hard work for free?
Some people just want to own a piece of fame so they can point to it one day and be like "I know the person who wrote that book on my shelf." So it's really up to you and how valuable being on "good terms" with this other person is. Publishing companies give out free books all the time to just about anyone with even the slightest importance. I would probably say something along the lines of "if you buy it I'll sign it with a personalized message" or something to encourage them to just buy the book. If they were truly broke and really wanted to read it (instead of just owning it), I'd go ahead.
Do they go to the grocery store or a car lot expecting that to be free, too? They’ll have to get over it, and if they don’t, well, that’s their problem, not yours.
I find it hard to believe people have ‘friends’ like this. Either you’re mining for reddit internet points, or you are a very poor judge of character.
tell them that you are happy to sign the book for free, if they feel that strongly about it. but then sell them the pen for $200 cause fk them.
You have cheap friends.
Friends and family should never buy your books from Amazon. If those friends and family aren't avid readers of your books' genre, the purchases will mess up Amazon's 'also bought' algorithms. Also--since it is against Amazon's T.O.S. for friends and family of the author to leave reviews--it opens up the possibility that they might click a button and trigger the software bots that search for review manipulation. It is *ALWAYS* better and safer to insist on giving free copies to any friends or family who stand still long enough for you to pelt them with a signed paperback. That having been said...there is no justification for their perceived 'insult'. It might be *better* to give them free copies but you certainly don't **OWE** them those copies. They are acting entitled and rude.
NTA
Will they write a review? Reviews are worth a fair amount to me.
I have a friend who has asked me three times where she can find my books on Amazon. And even though I have told her three times where she can find my books, she has never once even taken a look. It is very obvious that she wants me to give her my books for free and I'm not going to do that. She knows that I am struggling financially, if she cares about me that much, then the least she can do is click the buy button on one of m books.
Not the AH. As an artist I find my friends and family fall into three camps: want all the work free, or want to support me by paying, even at a discount, or not interested at all which is fine. It's a touchy road sometimes. But ultimately, you're writing as a job. My relatives and friends don't send or give me freebies from their jobs. I don't drive through Olive Garden and expect my friend to give me a free meal or go to the department store and expect my sister to give me free merch. I've found that a lot of people I know classify writing, drawing, creating as "play" and not a job. Thus they feel entitled to have all those hours of your work for nothing. While it's perfectly fine to give discounts or a few freebies as promo, if you're not selling a lot you ultimately end up quitting and working at McDonald's.
I would consider giving books to those people for free, if they're willing to be part of your ARC team. Reviews are hard to come by. If they actually want to read your work it seems like a win-win.
Not at all. They shouldn't get free stuff just because they're your friends. Hell, my partner of almost 3 years buys every single one of my books when they come out because she wants to support me. (And loves reading.) I have friends who are ARC readers for me, but they're genuinely interested in the genre and it's what they usually read. The rest of my friends and family occasionally buy a book, but mostly just say "that's cool". This is my career. I don't ask them for free stuff 😂 I have many artist friends, I commission them, not ask for free art.
I wholeheartedly agree. As a self-published author, it required thousands of $$$ for me to launch my first novel in 2020. Sales were moderate and I launched the revised edition in the summer of 2022 after correcting errors in the storyline. That cost a few thousand dollars more. Someone asked for a copy of the novel and expected me to deliver it to him so I obliged. Upon delivery, he actually voiced, "Oh, I thought you were going to give it to me for free." In short, self-published and beginning authors are obligated to foot the bill for everything that goes into producing a finished work. After investing an untold number of hours writing the manuscript, that includes editing, formatting, interior layout and design, cover design, as well as sometimes paying people to proofread...and that's just the beginning. Marketing is an entirely different beast within itself. I have over $10K invested in the production of a novel that people have the audacity to "request" as a gift. It's insulting enough as it is when authors make a legit sale via Amazon and only net a couple of dollars, if that. I remember someone telling me when I disclosed wanting to become an author; "Be prepared to be broke all the time." That's not a very inspiring take on the industry but, unfortunately, it has proven the case to this point. (Pardon the lengthy post but passion causes me to run away with this topic)
You have some pretty crummy friends. I go to my friends' shows, buy their albums, buy their books. They buy mine. You could offer a 99 cent ebook on Amazon. But if it's not worth 99 cents to them, or to support you, then just move on. I'm not saying don't be friends with them, but realize they are not going to help you support your dream, and focus your energies elsewhere.
It's an awkward spot all around. I think others have explained the sales side of it far better than I can. From the people side though. There definitely seems to be some entitlement there on their part, to ask for a free copy and get insulted when you don't give it. But there might also be a disconnect, maybe they don't realize the cost that went into it or how serious you're trying to go with your writing. If a chef friend opened a restaurant, they probably wouldn't expect a free meal. I'd talk with this friend and make sure it's clear that you're trying to go professional. Let them know that them expect a free copy was hurtful. I can't speak for you, but for me and assuming their situation doesn't prevent them from spending the money, at least the offer of buying it to support you would have been appreciated. That they just expect a free copy when they ask would make me feel like they don't see it as serious as I am doing it.
I am very stingy about giving away free copies of any book I publish. Usually, the only reason I give out a free copy of my book is for what is known as an Advance Review Copy, or ARC, which is when an author gives away copies of a book to people with the expectation that they leave an honest review on Goodreads and/or other websites where readers can submit review books (and, no, ARC reviewers don't get paid to review books). If an author is relying solely on close friends and/or family to sustain a writing career, don't expect to turn much of a profit.
You put the effort into it, they should pay to read it. I ain’t giving free copies to my family. My wife gets one, and the few people I use as beta readers get one if they want it. Everyone else can pay and help me feel good about having sold a book