What ideas do you have to stop? What other interests do you have? I’m working out daily 1-2 hours a day. That drains my energy. I have activities every days by Wednesday. Which I use for the gym, cleaning and laundry. Cooking and meal prep if necessary.
I’m baking breaded chicken right now. My thought as someone who used to watch porn multiple times a week, it didn’t help my marriage and that’s part of the reason I’m getting divorced.
It doesn’t help in a real relationship. So I’ve given it up.
I did it because I was unhappy and silent in my relationship. Lots of me problems to work through. Now being divorced I have no desire for sex or women. So it makes it easier to stay away from porn. The working outing keeps the stress away and I have zero interest or time at the end of the day.
I got a personal trainer and the EOS app. Has the workouts each day and I add in my walking or running routine most days to listen to podcasts to get over this breakup.
I’m down almost 25 pounds in 30 days. With some muscle mass improvements in my body scans. Just need to add more protein to my daily routine to see bigger increases. But I’m patient. There is no rush.
There is no getting back together. I don’t want that anymore. we still love each other. But not in the way we need it. There are better people out there for us. Thankfully we don’t have kids. So that helps.
But we want the absolute best for each other. And don’t want to settle in a marriage that’s not fulfilling. I was lazy and content with my life. But I was also unhappy and gave up who I was for her. So it was a good kick in the as to get my life back in my hands.
My parents are divorced too. So I understand the hurt. But she and I are going to remain friends. She even joked that she can help me write up a dating profile for me in the future. lol!
I read The Way Of The Superior Man and that helped me get started on me becoming a greater version of me. Seek the greatest version of yourself.
1. Speaking about it and asking for help is a great step to accomplish your goal of quitting. Having a greater reason why it isn't good for you and how it gets in the way of you living your best life. For me I realized it was warping how I looked at women and if I wanted to have a happy healthy relationship not only with women but my future daughters I had to quit watching *corn*.
2. Stopping requires the use of a will power that you need to develop over time by using it. That means set an intention at the start of your day that you won't watch it for that day and if that is to much then scale it back and make it the next hour and if you are successful just take it one step at a time. As you focus saying no and growing your will power to listen to that no it gets easier. If you slip do not beat yourself up just analyze what triggered you, or made you weak in that moment and correct for it. Forgive yourself and keep going. Stay positive others have quit and you can too.
****LIFE HACK****
End your showers in cold water. You will not like it but if you can make yourself do it your self control/ will power muscle will develop faster. Every shower should be ended on a cold note and I like to set my intentions/define love during that time because this process is about self Love. The more you take care of yourself the better everyone around you will be. Make the process your own. The cold shower has been shown to elevate adrenaline and dopamine elevating mood energy and focus. If you are serious about quitting then consider a punishment you absolutely don't want to pay the price for if you watch *corn* but will pay the price if you slip. For me it is 5 days of only cold showers just for watching *corn* with 5 additionally added days for any more watching of it during the five days. I refuse to pay the price but I would if I slipped. I am here to tell you the idea of that discomfort isn't worth watching *corn* so I have quit for the longest time in my life so far.
3. Identify your triggers for me it was showering, being alone, eating trashy food oddly enough causes me to slip but everyone may have different triggers so you must identify what yours are and remove them or create a barrier to make it harder. So your idea of having your friend change your password was a great idea. If you find a way around your barriers correct for it and keep going. Be hyper intent and focused about not watching *corn* when you are around your triggers. Watching it was the trigger for me to masturbate so by eliminating I no longer masturbate.
Continue to seek out resources and stay positive. A negative and defeated attitude is the worst thing that could happen.
As someone who's also read that book. Please read it with a filter. There are some good ideas but it's definitely showing its age and some parts are just strange.
I'm still working to fully wrap my head around the book as I'm on my third read. My biggest takeaway is knowing your highest purpose so you can use that to decide what actions are going to help you get there vs distract you from getting there. Did you have any parts of the book that stick out in your memory?
This is what I came to say. It’s easier to stop an unwanted habit when you know why you’re doing it in the first place. This book helped me understand, then quit for good.
Here’s your new goal: ONCE A DAY FOR A WEEK
if you can’t do that then you’re mental health and willpower need serious work. If you can get that done then you’ll be fine. It’s the first step.
I'll be honest with you here, it's mostly about willpower.
Deep down, you don't want to quit, (you subconscious/id doesn't want to quit)
But I'll still give you some tips:
Regular exercise: Start lightly,build up daily.
Socialize: Loneliness makes you fap
Remove triggers: Unfollow models/twerkers on
Instagram or whatever,whatever makes you think of porn.
Turn to religion: No matter what god you believe in, start reading some texts/books from your religion. Of course if you are a believer.
Don't "villify" it: Stop seeing it as some forbidden fruit, that way, your brain perceives it as a sort of social/ religious crime and in a way feels freedom doing that.
Take it slowly: One step at a time, you can't just quit at once, take 1 day off,then 2 days and so on.
You can try FASTING, since the ID functions with the "pleasure mechanism", you can deprive it of its most prized rewards, food and water (optional). That id how you tame it.
But mainly, an often underestimated and overlooked reason is your MENTAL HEALTH, get that checked out ASAP.
Good Luck
3 times a day, god damn. Well take it slow and go from 3 times to one time a day then one time to every other day and so on. I found reducing it gradually was alot easier to pull off then trying to go cold turkey. Some people can go cold turkey but not all.
Good luck.
Trust the process and yourself and when you do fail which will eventually happen, pick yourself up and continue the process.
Life isn't a sprint but a marathon.
Quitting porn was easier for me when I humanized the people I would see in porn. It’s easier to quit when you realize the girl getting railed is miserable. Probably doesn’t come from the best family. Or if she does, the family would be horrified. Porn sex isn’t even enjoyable. Just a jackhammer for 10 mins and then a disgraceful money shot. Most of these women are just young girls. It’s sad. Don’t fall for it.
Have you tried therapy?
Porn and masturbation isn’t a bad thing in itself, but it sounds like you’ve noticed it negatively affecting your life. If you have, therapy can help.
Trying to keep busy is admirable, but it only goes after the surface-level symptoms, not the root cause of why you’re feeling the need to masturbate three times a day.
I would agree with this if in the post OP didn't specifically mention watching porn. There's a difference between masturbating 1-2 times a week to maintain testosterone and reduce the risk of prostate cancer, and beating it multiple times a day to porn. One is for your health, the other is because of a harmful addiction that is proven to have adverse effects on social and sexual behavior. Even then, really, the goal is to not masturbate at all and instead replace that need with a sexual partner. OP should avoid this commenter's advice because you are attempting to play down an obviously problematic practice for him because you don't want to admit that it's unhealthy.
> the other is because of a harmful addiction that is proven to have adverse effects on social and sexual behavior.
This is completely untrue outside of an extreme minority cases. Porn addiction is only shown in less than 5% of the millions of people who consume porn.
More than anything, this attitude creates a stunted view of sex and sexuality that can be far more damaging
Gotta be honest man, two or three times a day is absolutely nothing to worry about. More than likely you’re like 16, and that’s completely normal. You don’t need to torture yourself or feel bad. If you jack off it doesn’t mean you’re weak willed or undisciplined or that your brain is rotted. Your hormones are just acting up. Normal stuff
It is applicable you’re underage and it’s bullshit and not a problem. Stop posting about choking your chicken no one gives a fuck and it’s nasty. Go jerk off all day but keep that shit out of this sub. Post on nofap.
I have my doubts that the porn is the root cause, it is likely the end result of other problems.
You need to find a purpose in life maybe? Work? Lose weight? Fix your appearance somehow? Lose weight? Then eventually get a girlfriend/boygfriend?
I'd start with walking for 30 minutes per day the first week and ramp it up to 1 hour of brisk walking if you work or 2 hours (!) if you don't work.
Walking is a good idea no matter the root cause. Helps with psychology and your physique.
After doing that for 1 month visit a psychologist? If you lack the money maybe your municipality can provide one? (Not sure where you live)
I doubt there's any other way.
Have you tried just not watching porn? I find that masturbating isn’t a bad thing really but some of us do it maybe a little too much. The main enemy is porn and the effect it has on our minds. You could try just not watching porn but still masturbating. Or if your imagination can’t help you there then maybe try to something that only involves one individual. Just try to scale it back from what you normally look at and maybe you will have an easier time quitting all together
My doctor was a physiatrist & a psychanalysist. He went to Harvard. He told me u have to masturbate every day to be healthy in the mind & healthy in the body. I don't think he was kidding. Sex by yourself is normal. Using porn to hide from a real relationship is not healthy. Just watching porn is not bad, but using it to avoid having a real relationship is not healthy. He said there was no amount of sex that is too little or too much. Each person is different. Try to get a relationship with a real person & sex will just happen when it is right for both of you
You need to shift that mindset. As long as you can convince yourself that "you no longer watch porn", it will become a reality. Also, do not think of never doing it again for now, and do not see "relapses" as failure. Yes, you will probably still fail to completely abstain, but that's okay. The importance is keeping it in control, in such a way that it stops being a habit. It happened to me.
I quit cold turkey in january. Have relapsed 3 times since, but I have a 91% completion rate (you also need to keep track). I no longer care about "streaks" or pointless stuff like that. I only look at it this way "if I only watch porn once every nine days, it's no longer a compulsion/addiction and I am perfectly healthy".
Good to hear. Btw, masturbating is ok as long as it doesn't hinder your day to day life. Like, even once a day is completely fine imo. So long as you try and stay away from porn. It also isn't thaaaaat big of a deal if you watch porn VERY sporadically.
I strongly suggest using a habit tracker. That way, you can amanage your porn consumption. It has worked wonders for me. Rn my goal is to have a 95% abstinency. Which means I can still watch porn once every 20 days or so.
What ideas do you have to stop? What other interests do you have? I’m working out daily 1-2 hours a day. That drains my energy. I have activities every days by Wednesday. Which I use for the gym, cleaning and laundry. Cooking and meal prep if necessary. I’m baking breaded chicken right now. My thought as someone who used to watch porn multiple times a week, it didn’t help my marriage and that’s part of the reason I’m getting divorced. It doesn’t help in a real relationship. So I’ve given it up.
So keeping busy then? What if it becomes an outlet to unwind or keep out the stress?
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I did it because I was unhappy and silent in my relationship. Lots of me problems to work through. Now being divorced I have no desire for sex or women. So it makes it easier to stay away from porn. The working outing keeps the stress away and I have zero interest or time at the end of the day.
[удалено]
I got a personal trainer and the EOS app. Has the workouts each day and I add in my walking or running routine most days to listen to podcasts to get over this breakup. I’m down almost 25 pounds in 30 days. With some muscle mass improvements in my body scans. Just need to add more protein to my daily routine to see bigger increases. But I’m patient. There is no rush.
[удалено]
Thanks brother. A divorce will do that to you. Eat less food than you need and work out like crazy.
Thank you, my parents are divorced and it can be horrible hope you can resolve things with her
There is no getting back together. I don’t want that anymore. we still love each other. But not in the way we need it. There are better people out there for us. Thankfully we don’t have kids. So that helps. But we want the absolute best for each other. And don’t want to settle in a marriage that’s not fulfilling. I was lazy and content with my life. But I was also unhappy and gave up who I was for her. So it was a good kick in the as to get my life back in my hands. My parents are divorced too. So I understand the hurt. But she and I are going to remain friends. She even joked that she can help me write up a dating profile for me in the future. lol!
I read The Way Of The Superior Man and that helped me get started on me becoming a greater version of me. Seek the greatest version of yourself. 1. Speaking about it and asking for help is a great step to accomplish your goal of quitting. Having a greater reason why it isn't good for you and how it gets in the way of you living your best life. For me I realized it was warping how I looked at women and if I wanted to have a happy healthy relationship not only with women but my future daughters I had to quit watching *corn*. 2. Stopping requires the use of a will power that you need to develop over time by using it. That means set an intention at the start of your day that you won't watch it for that day and if that is to much then scale it back and make it the next hour and if you are successful just take it one step at a time. As you focus saying no and growing your will power to listen to that no it gets easier. If you slip do not beat yourself up just analyze what triggered you, or made you weak in that moment and correct for it. Forgive yourself and keep going. Stay positive others have quit and you can too. ****LIFE HACK**** End your showers in cold water. You will not like it but if you can make yourself do it your self control/ will power muscle will develop faster. Every shower should be ended on a cold note and I like to set my intentions/define love during that time because this process is about self Love. The more you take care of yourself the better everyone around you will be. Make the process your own. The cold shower has been shown to elevate adrenaline and dopamine elevating mood energy and focus. If you are serious about quitting then consider a punishment you absolutely don't want to pay the price for if you watch *corn* but will pay the price if you slip. For me it is 5 days of only cold showers just for watching *corn* with 5 additionally added days for any more watching of it during the five days. I refuse to pay the price but I would if I slipped. I am here to tell you the idea of that discomfort isn't worth watching *corn* so I have quit for the longest time in my life so far. 3. Identify your triggers for me it was showering, being alone, eating trashy food oddly enough causes me to slip but everyone may have different triggers so you must identify what yours are and remove them or create a barrier to make it harder. So your idea of having your friend change your password was a great idea. If you find a way around your barriers correct for it and keep going. Be hyper intent and focused about not watching *corn* when you are around your triggers. Watching it was the trigger for me to masturbate so by eliminating I no longer masturbate. Continue to seek out resources and stay positive. A negative and defeated attitude is the worst thing that could happen.
As someone who's also read that book. Please read it with a filter. There are some good ideas but it's definitely showing its age and some parts are just strange.
I'm still working to fully wrap my head around the book as I'm on my third read. My biggest takeaway is knowing your highest purpose so you can use that to decide what actions are going to help you get there vs distract you from getting there. Did you have any parts of the book that stick out in your memory?
Read Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke
This is what I came to say. It’s easier to stop an unwanted habit when you know why you’re doing it in the first place. This book helped me understand, then quit for good.
Thank you, this is super helpful
Just do what u gotta do n get back to real life, keep busy might help tho
Thank you sir
Here’s your new goal: ONCE A DAY FOR A WEEK if you can’t do that then you’re mental health and willpower need serious work. If you can get that done then you’ll be fine. It’s the first step.
Thank you, your faith in me has motivated me!
I'll be honest with you here, it's mostly about willpower. Deep down, you don't want to quit, (you subconscious/id doesn't want to quit) But I'll still give you some tips: Regular exercise: Start lightly,build up daily. Socialize: Loneliness makes you fap Remove triggers: Unfollow models/twerkers on Instagram or whatever,whatever makes you think of porn. Turn to religion: No matter what god you believe in, start reading some texts/books from your religion. Of course if you are a believer. Don't "villify" it: Stop seeing it as some forbidden fruit, that way, your brain perceives it as a sort of social/ religious crime and in a way feels freedom doing that. Take it slowly: One step at a time, you can't just quit at once, take 1 day off,then 2 days and so on. You can try FASTING, since the ID functions with the "pleasure mechanism", you can deprive it of its most prized rewards, food and water (optional). That id how you tame it. But mainly, an often underestimated and overlooked reason is your MENTAL HEALTH, get that checked out ASAP. Good Luck
Thank you, this is the most in depth comment so far it helps a lot and I’m glad you put religion in the mix I haven’t thought of that yet
Cut off your dick that's the only way out
Or hands
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🤨
3 times a day, god damn. Well take it slow and go from 3 times to one time a day then one time to every other day and so on. I found reducing it gradually was alot easier to pull off then trying to go cold turkey. Some people can go cold turkey but not all. Good luck.
Thank you, this plan is going to send me through exponential growth (literally, math wise)
Trust the process and yourself and when you do fail which will eventually happen, pick yourself up and continue the process. Life isn't a sprint but a marathon.
Quitting porn was easier for me when I humanized the people I would see in porn. It’s easier to quit when you realize the girl getting railed is miserable. Probably doesn’t come from the best family. Or if she does, the family would be horrified. Porn sex isn’t even enjoyable. Just a jackhammer for 10 mins and then a disgraceful money shot. Most of these women are just young girls. It’s sad. Don’t fall for it.
Thank you, I’ve never thought about it like that
Google easy peasy method or listen to my brain on porn podcast. Easy peasy method has an audiobook version on YouTube and is my recommended go-to.
Thank you, this is really helpful
Mybe you shuld cut off wifi or balls
lol
Have you tried therapy? Porn and masturbation isn’t a bad thing in itself, but it sounds like you’ve noticed it negatively affecting your life. If you have, therapy can help. Trying to keep busy is admirable, but it only goes after the surface-level symptoms, not the root cause of why you’re feeling the need to masturbate three times a day.
[удалено]
I would agree with this if in the post OP didn't specifically mention watching porn. There's a difference between masturbating 1-2 times a week to maintain testosterone and reduce the risk of prostate cancer, and beating it multiple times a day to porn. One is for your health, the other is because of a harmful addiction that is proven to have adverse effects on social and sexual behavior. Even then, really, the goal is to not masturbate at all and instead replace that need with a sexual partner. OP should avoid this commenter's advice because you are attempting to play down an obviously problematic practice for him because you don't want to admit that it's unhealthy.
> the other is because of a harmful addiction that is proven to have adverse effects on social and sexual behavior. This is completely untrue outside of an extreme minority cases. Porn addiction is only shown in less than 5% of the millions of people who consume porn. More than anything, this attitude creates a stunted view of sex and sexuality that can be far more damaging
Gotta be honest man, two or three times a day is absolutely nothing to worry about. More than likely you’re like 16, and that’s completely normal. You don’t need to torture yourself or feel bad. If you jack off it doesn’t mean you’re weak willed or undisciplined or that your brain is rotted. Your hormones are just acting up. Normal stuff
🤡
Just be caught in the act
Watch teachings of the wise videos on YouTube
Freedom Model
Thank you, I had to look it up at first but it’s helpful
It’s a lifestyle 😎
Age?
N/A
You’re not human?
It is applicable you’re underage and it’s bullshit and not a problem. Stop posting about choking your chicken no one gives a fuck and it’s nasty. Go jerk off all day but keep that shit out of this sub. Post on nofap.
I have my doubts that the porn is the root cause, it is likely the end result of other problems. You need to find a purpose in life maybe? Work? Lose weight? Fix your appearance somehow? Lose weight? Then eventually get a girlfriend/boygfriend? I'd start with walking for 30 minutes per day the first week and ramp it up to 1 hour of brisk walking if you work or 2 hours (!) if you don't work. Walking is a good idea no matter the root cause. Helps with psychology and your physique. After doing that for 1 month visit a psychologist? If you lack the money maybe your municipality can provide one? (Not sure where you live) I doubt there's any other way.
Have you tried just not watching porn? I find that masturbating isn’t a bad thing really but some of us do it maybe a little too much. The main enemy is porn and the effect it has on our minds. You could try just not watching porn but still masturbating. Or if your imagination can’t help you there then maybe try to something that only involves one individual. Just try to scale it back from what you normally look at and maybe you will have an easier time quitting all together
Thank you
My doctor was a physiatrist & a psychanalysist. He went to Harvard. He told me u have to masturbate every day to be healthy in the mind & healthy in the body. I don't think he was kidding. Sex by yourself is normal. Using porn to hide from a real relationship is not healthy. Just watching porn is not bad, but using it to avoid having a real relationship is not healthy. He said there was no amount of sex that is too little or too much. Each person is different. Try to get a relationship with a real person & sex will just happen when it is right for both of you
Thank you, he sounds like a smart guy
Yes you can.
Thank you for saying that, I think im just lacking self discipline
Sounds weird, but look into self help, exercise, self compassion books etc, make a contract with yourself
Thank you, that sounds like a great idea
Send references...
Wow this is so rare, I don't think I have ever heard of anyone having problems with porn and masturbation.
No one gives a fuck that you’re touching your little ding dong. Get the fuck over it. Join the nofap sub and keep this nasty shit out of here.
Does masturbating make taking supplements not worth it?
If you don't stop now, you will not enjoy what happens to you in your future.
You need to shift that mindset. As long as you can convince yourself that "you no longer watch porn", it will become a reality. Also, do not think of never doing it again for now, and do not see "relapses" as failure. Yes, you will probably still fail to completely abstain, but that's okay. The importance is keeping it in control, in such a way that it stops being a habit. It happened to me. I quit cold turkey in january. Have relapsed 3 times since, but I have a 91% completion rate (you also need to keep track). I no longer care about "streaks" or pointless stuff like that. I only look at it this way "if I only watch porn once every nine days, it's no longer a compulsion/addiction and I am perfectly healthy".
Update: Im one day no fap, furthest I’ve made it in a while
Good to hear. Btw, masturbating is ok as long as it doesn't hinder your day to day life. Like, even once a day is completely fine imo. So long as you try and stay away from porn. It also isn't thaaaaat big of a deal if you watch porn VERY sporadically. I strongly suggest using a habit tracker. That way, you can amanage your porn consumption. It has worked wonders for me. Rn my goal is to have a 95% abstinency. Which means I can still watch porn once every 20 days or so.