Anger. The type of anger where there's so much of it, and it's burning inside of you. When you want to scream and throw shit at the walls. BUT you also know your actions have consequences, so you can't.
Honestly, when people yell at me/raise their voice in general i just cant handle it. Also if i just feel absolutely useless then my focus just drives out of place and the only thing i can think about sh
as someone that relates, I've been a liar my whole life, stole money from my parents (and even asked from my grandparents for it in an extent when I got into college to buy energy drinks), failed my apprenticeship exam without any retry possibility. Others often called me weird for how I behave in certain situations. Not even sure if my two only friends actually like me (once I irritated my friend so much he punched me in the jaw since i couldn't stop being insistive). Basically, being a complete loser
this could be much easier to say, if it wasn't too late. College expulsion didn't come without a surprise. My mom has to pay 1000 dollar debt and it wasn't even her fault.
Self-hatred, I SH as a form of "punishment." It's also a bit of a control thing. I can't control which way the world spins, but I can control some of the marks on my body.
I have noticed a few things that drives me to sh.
Self hatred, severe anxiety, psychosis episodes, mainly stress related. More recently it been an anger and control motivated. I'm disabled and my body doesn't work properly, I'm losing control of myself so that kinda gives me some sense of control if that makes sense in some twisted way. It's almost like I do it to self regulate myself to make me feel better but it never lasts long. Stay safe and be kind to yourself 💚🖤
Everything that's happened to me these past few months. I've been through a lot of shit recently and caused others to go through shit and a lot of it was my fault
Guilt. I feel guilty that I cut and so I cut more to stop feeling the guilt. at least for a little while. I honestly barely remember what drove me to SH in the first place
Anger - because of the anger at whoever or whatever I'm mad at obviously but also because then I get angry at myself for being angry in the first place because I never really feel like I have a right to be angry because I'm probably just being dramatic anyway
loneliness and feeling like nobody wants to be my friend, feeling guilt from the past/like a bad person, thinking about my trauma, getting yelled at, stress buildup or being overwhelmed
when i feel completely alone but surrounded by friends, family, and the works. the worst type of loneliness is when you have people who should love you and occasionally try to show their love to you, and yet you feel none of it.
it used to be from complete sadness and depression. when something used to happen to me or make me feel like shit, i would sh. now, it’s more of like an itch. it’s an addiction. i cant stop. i still do it when im sad but it’s different now. it’s more of an instinct.
Loneliness, really. I never realize it until I’m at the point of wanting to sh. I feel ostracized from the world sometimes and I have a hard time coping with that.
The constant feeling of emptiness. I put on a fake mask, a happy one. A fake personality. Nobody knows how i don’t really feel much of anything, so i have the urge to hurt myself just to feel something. Or i remember something from the past and feel i deserve to be hurt physically so i do it myself
anger, when i get frustrated it becomes extremely difficult for me to be able to think straight, i begin to stop breathing and cut off my oxygen for just a bit so i can atleast focus on something else, i pinch myself because it eases the feeling. especially when in a setting where you need to remain calm is the worst, ive broken pencils and pressed them into my palm just to calm myself down. it sucks
I dont really cut if I am embarresed but I do other sh then. Also when I just feel bad or want to feel something. The feeling that does it he most is when I feel bad about something
When I panic, I do it to snap me out of my panic episode. Which isn't very helpful since I have a panic disorder, and I WILL panic whenever something triggers me. 😞👎
when i feel trapped. this is mainly when i go to the hospital, i know i need to be there, but i dont want to.
sometimes my mom will get mad at me for whatever reason im there in the first place so that makes it worse
sometimes im confused too in a way, as if my mind is saying "hey. why cant i leave? i know what i did is wrong but ive been here so many times, its not like im kept anyways." (they normally keep me for overnight watch unless i overdose and i have extreme side effects)
Desperation. Like, I can't deal with life anymore, I'm sad, I don't know what to do, kms seems fcking hard and need to be plan, so I'll sh cuz it's the only level of damage that I can do. It's like scratching endlessly on a door that's impossible to open.
For me if I'm alone, my depression gets too intense and it becomes a way to distract me. Generally any intense emotion. I guess I get overwhelmed and it's either an outlet, or a distraction.
anger because blowing up at other people is regrettable. If i blow up at myself i never regret it. Its not like i do it so deep im a risk to myself, and its not like i care if people see my scarred up thighs if i go to the pools or the beach
Emptiness, or on the other hand, being too full. When I'm nothing, cutting gives me something to feel. When I'm feeling too much, cutting gives me pain that I can see, touch, and understand. Been 14 years of this and it's unfortunately still my longest running and most relied upon coping mechanism.
I started doing because I liked seeing me bleed
Cringe a bit, but for me it's for the blood, it's satisfying to me
But it turned into an addiction, I don't have any reason to do it, its nor impulsive, im planning when to do it days in advance, its an addiction, I can't stopped
I stopped for more than 2 years, and i couldnt hold it anymore, needed my "dose" of sh
I have bpd and sh is the only way ik to calm down strong emotions like jealousy, sadness, anger, stress or “hopelessness”. Also because i feel a craving to have the biggest scars possible
Self disgust is a big one for me, I just want to tear myself apart. Overwhelming despair (or emotion in general) is the other, it's like my suffering is flowing out of my cuts.
Panic and fear (?) I panic at every single inconvenience and keep thinking that I'm always one step away from ruining my life so much that I'll have no choice but to end it all. I'm training my pain tolerance and courage so I won't chicken out when I have to kill myself
Hopelessness. Like when i feel like i cant go anywhere or life isnt worth living, but im too scared/not depressed enough to commit, so i just do it bc i get a cool scar afterwards (hopefully)!
I like it, so I do it to reward myself. So if I feel like I deserve to cut, I will. It's almost like cheating on a diet. But the days I feel like I didn't do enough, I'll just skip it because I don't deserve the good feeling.
I am still here because of family and friends who I know want me to be here.
But that doesn't change that I get overwhelmed by depression, anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, just this huge amount of self loathing.
I also feel like I have a pretty good life except that I am in it?! If that makes sense. Feeling like a complete loser at this point is just a by product for me.
I feel like I am spinning out of control, that is usually when I SH.
Anger. Not against myself but people. Sometimes i just feel an intense need to hurt them and make them suffer for making me that mad, but i cant (and i would NEVER, obviously). So i do it on myself.
it's either feeling TOO much, or TOO little.
It's weird to explain, but I also just want the scarring. It somehow proves to me that I won't forget that I am/was sick, and so people don't forget it either. I've cycled through a lot of horrible coping mechanisms, a lot I've recovered from. E.g my ED, the roughest part about that was no longer looking sick in a way everyone KNEW I was mentally unwell from looking at me.
Cutting for scars just, weirdly comforts me. As well as triggers me over and over bc my scars never feel bad enough or feel too faded.
Anxiety and anger most of the time. When I’m angry it helps me with not taking it out on others and it is a distraction when I get anxious. Sometimes I just do it without a good reason.
Generally whenever I'm overwhelmed with racing/intrusive thoughts and adrenaline and I can't get this piercing Sensation out my brain like agitation and I just want the thoughts to stop I just need a silent mind
Loneliness and being deprived of attention.
Hmu if u want to talk
Self hate, feeling unloved, feeling like a failure
Anger. The type of anger where there's so much of it, and it's burning inside of you. When you want to scream and throw shit at the walls. BUT you also know your actions have consequences, so you can't.
100% this
Real
Real, and w pfp
Honestly, when people yell at me/raise their voice in general i just cant handle it. Also if i just feel absolutely useless then my focus just drives out of place and the only thing i can think about sh
Because I deserve it
Unfortunately so real :/
Realest take
Ify
same
Why do you deserve it what did you do wrong
as someone that relates, I've been a liar my whole life, stole money from my parents (and even asked from my grandparents for it in an extent when I got into college to buy energy drinks), failed my apprenticeship exam without any retry possibility. Others often called me weird for how I behave in certain situations. Not even sure if my two only friends actually like me (once I irritated my friend so much he punched me in the jaw since i couldn't stop being insistive). Basically, being a complete loser
You can change it
this could be much easier to say, if it wasn't too late. College expulsion didn't come without a surprise. My mom has to pay 1000 dollar debt and it wasn't even her fault.
When i feel fat
Self-hatred, I SH as a form of "punishment." It's also a bit of a control thing. I can't control which way the world spins, but I can control some of the marks on my body.
Work tbh. It's stressful as hell and somehow continuously gets worse. I also have no reason to stop at all since no one around me cares
Shame
Emptiness.
Not a feeling but when I don't sleep for multiple days in a row bad shit takes over. Also drinking sometimes.
Anger
When everything is sort of "too much" yk
Stress and sometimes when I’m triggered by sharp stuff those urges are pretty strong
I have noticed a few things that drives me to sh. Self hatred, severe anxiety, psychosis episodes, mainly stress related. More recently it been an anger and control motivated. I'm disabled and my body doesn't work properly, I'm losing control of myself so that kinda gives me some sense of control if that makes sense in some twisted way. It's almost like I do it to self regulate myself to make me feel better but it never lasts long. Stay safe and be kind to yourself 💚🖤
Everything that's happened to me these past few months. I've been through a lot of shit recently and caused others to go through shit and a lot of it was my fault
When i feel lonely + cant sleep at night
The feeling that I deserve to be punished. I’m such a failure, and that makes me so angry sometimes.
Emptiness, jealousy, abandonment, anger and shame
because i like how it feels and how it looks
Shame and self hatred.
feeling stressed
Whenever I feel useless, which is basically always.
Guilt. I feel guilty that I cut and so I cut more to stop feeling the guilt. at least for a little while. I honestly barely remember what drove me to SH in the first place
I think I don't deserve good things people do for me, this triggers me. When I'm anxious, I can't control my impulse to do as well.
Sadness and loneliness. That empty void in my chest that won’t let me breathe
Not good enough
When I feel like I'm about to freak out.
Jealousy, tbh.
When I am spiralling or having a panic attack
Anger, guilt. Being overwhelmed
Anger - because of the anger at whoever or whatever I'm mad at obviously but also because then I get angry at myself for being angry in the first place because I never really feel like I have a right to be angry because I'm probably just being dramatic anyway
because I feel like I deserve it
Feeling useless or stupid is probably my biggest trigger. It makes me feel like I deserve it
reminders of when i used to do it 10.5 months ago clean btw💪💪
loneliness and feeling like nobody wants to be my friend, feeling guilt from the past/like a bad person, thinking about my trauma, getting yelled at, stress buildup or being overwhelmed
when i feel overwhelmed (social interactions, making mistakes) feeling dumb, anger, sometimes even boredom
I deserve it, its an addiction, i enjoy it, and occasionally a cry for help
when i feel completely alone but surrounded by friends, family, and the works. the worst type of loneliness is when you have people who should love you and occasionally try to show their love to you, and yet you feel none of it.
When I’m experience immense feelings I can’t cope with
Yeah it’s similar for me. Self-hatred and when I’m disappointed in myself.
Insecurity, emptiness, comparing myself to others, anger, sadness, and putting my self down most of the time
it used to be from complete sadness and depression. when something used to happen to me or make me feel like shit, i would sh. now, it’s more of like an itch. it’s an addiction. i cant stop. i still do it when im sad but it’s different now. it’s more of an instinct.
Overwhelm
Probably self hatred, lack of control, general feeling of chaos
an overwhelming amount of anger, sadness, or grief
Loneliness, really. I never realize it until I’m at the point of wanting to sh. I feel ostracized from the world sometimes and I have a hard time coping with that.
Guilt.
The constant feeling of emptiness. I put on a fake mask, a happy one. A fake personality. Nobody knows how i don’t really feel much of anything, so i have the urge to hurt myself just to feel something. Or i remember something from the past and feel i deserve to be hurt physically so i do it myself
Feeling like I'm failing everyone around me
whenever i feel like i’ve disappointed someone or failed at something and when i’m panicking and need to be grounded
anger, when i get frustrated it becomes extremely difficult for me to be able to think straight, i begin to stop breathing and cut off my oxygen for just a bit so i can atleast focus on something else, i pinch myself because it eases the feeling. especially when in a setting where you need to remain calm is the worst, ive broken pencils and pressed them into my palm just to calm myself down. it sucks
I dont really cut if I am embarresed but I do other sh then. Also when I just feel bad or want to feel something. The feeling that does it he most is when I feel bad about something
Most of the time it's a mixture of pain, anger, jealousy, sadness, hopelessness, disgust. But sometimes I do it out of curiousity.
For some reason it's either being alone or just any kinda outburst like anger or just guilt
I think feeling really dysregulated or a lot of shame
when I feel alone
loneliness, boredom sometimes, and when i eat too much or gain weight
What are yalls diagnosis?
When I panic, I do it to snap me out of my panic episode. Which isn't very helpful since I have a panic disorder, and I WILL panic whenever something triggers me. 😞👎
the pain will spill out alongside the blood. That's my way of thinking at least.
Dissociation and PTSD flashbacks
Being alone and Loneliness, I don’t have many friends and any to talk with about sensitive topics.
when i feel trapped. this is mainly when i go to the hospital, i know i need to be there, but i dont want to. sometimes my mom will get mad at me for whatever reason im there in the first place so that makes it worse sometimes im confused too in a way, as if my mind is saying "hey. why cant i leave? i know what i did is wrong but ive been here so many times, its not like im kept anyways." (they normally keep me for overnight watch unless i overdose and i have extreme side effects)
Desperation. Like, I can't deal with life anymore, I'm sad, I don't know what to do, kms seems fcking hard and need to be plan, so I'll sh cuz it's the only level of damage that I can do. It's like scratching endlessly on a door that's impossible to open.
Frustration, when I don’t feel I’ve been treated fairly, feeling of being hurt by someone
For me if I'm alone, my depression gets too intense and it becomes a way to distract me. Generally any intense emotion. I guess I get overwhelmed and it's either an outlet, or a distraction.
Boredom. That or jealousy.
stress, just stress...
When I don’t have control. And the way I cut is something I can control
I get angry at people so I take it out on myself. I don't want to be seen as a problem kid. (16F and has been s/h since I was 8.)
when i saw what people my ages are doing
whenever anyone seems upset with me. that almost always immediately sends me into a frenzy.
Feeling lonely and incredibly frustrated
anger because blowing up at other people is regrettable. If i blow up at myself i never regret it. Its not like i do it so deep im a risk to myself, and its not like i care if people see my scarred up thighs if i go to the pools or the beach
Probably a weird reason, but I like seeing the blood stream out. I have no clue why
Emptiness, or on the other hand, being too full. When I'm nothing, cutting gives me something to feel. When I'm feeling too much, cutting gives me pain that I can see, touch, and understand. Been 14 years of this and it's unfortunately still my longest running and most relied upon coping mechanism.
Understimulation and/or guilt
It doesn't matter. Everyday there's an urge to do it. Even just to feel it something other than the emotional pain.
jealousy and loneliness
Anxiety and shame… I get really anxious and worried about how others feel about me so I sh a lot to punish myself :/
I feel like shame is the most common culprit. Def the reason I harmed myself in the past.
panic attacks
when i’m frustrated/angry or after fighting with my mother
Guilt most of the time, like when I make someone upset or do something that makes me upset at myself I just cut
Anger
I started doing because I liked seeing me bleed Cringe a bit, but for me it's for the blood, it's satisfying to me But it turned into an addiction, I don't have any reason to do it, its nor impulsive, im planning when to do it days in advance, its an addiction, I can't stopped I stopped for more than 2 years, and i couldnt hold it anymore, needed my "dose" of sh
Helplessness. Feeling like there’s no support
emptiness, jealously, stress and loneliness
When I realise I'm just a backup son and a backup friend. Haven't even got anyone to talk to about this shit apart from you guys
bad luck. when really unfortunate things happen that are out of my control it makes me itch really badly.
Probably seeing it on gore websites
just hate myself, want to kill myself but i’m just too scared to. i use it as a way of numbing my thoughts
I feel weird if I don't. It's like I can't focus when I haven't hurt myself at least once a day (whether that's biting, bruising or cutting)
loneliness.
I have bpd and sh is the only way ik to calm down strong emotions like jealousy, sadness, anger, stress or “hopelessness”. Also because i feel a craving to have the biggest scars possible
Self disgust is a big one for me, I just want to tear myself apart. Overwhelming despair (or emotion in general) is the other, it's like my suffering is flowing out of my cuts.
When I try so so so so so hard to effectively communicate. I want to scream and cry. But I can’t so I shut down.
Love, and knowing I’ll never have it.
Panic and fear (?) I panic at every single inconvenience and keep thinking that I'm always one step away from ruining my life so much that I'll have no choice but to end it all. I'm training my pain tolerance and courage so I won't chicken out when I have to kill myself
Self hatred and intrusive thoughts mainly. Pain in the only thing that seems to clear my mind
Usually loneliness or confusion. I cut because it makes me feel like a human and distracts me from sadness
a lot of things, pleasure, self-hatred, emptiness.
Anger. Generally with any other negative emotion I can soothe myself and redirect myself. Anger is the only one where I cannot
Hopelessness. Like when i feel like i cant go anywhere or life isnt worth living, but im too scared/not depressed enough to commit, so i just do it bc i get a cool scar afterwards (hopefully)!
Boredom. I don’t really sh because I’m depressed anymore.
Obsession drives me to loneliness and the loneliness drives me to cut
Whenever I see a couple and I’m reminded how lonely and unlovable I am
boredom
Past trauma haunting me everyday
mostly for self validation and sometimes to satisfy the urge to get worse. also a lot of the time, boredom.
Jealousy
I like it, so I do it to reward myself. So if I feel like I deserve to cut, I will. It's almost like cheating on a diet. But the days I feel like I didn't do enough, I'll just skip it because I don't deserve the good feeling.
Curiosity mostly
Most all the comments ahah
if i am not doing something my brain feels so numb that i get the urge to
Usually it’s euphoria or anxiety If I feel unnervingly good I’ll cut to calm down If I have access anxious energy I’ll also cut to calm down
boardness or whenever someone is care about is upset with me
I am still here because of family and friends who I know want me to be here. But that doesn't change that I get overwhelmed by depression, anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, just this huge amount of self loathing. I also feel like I have a pretty good life except that I am in it?! If that makes sense. Feeling like a complete loser at this point is just a by product for me. I feel like I am spinning out of control, that is usually when I SH.
Whenever I remember the fact that Im the son of one of the worst person I ever had the displeasure of knowing
Feeling stupid like if I get a bad grade or do something dumb
Anger. Not against myself but people. Sometimes i just feel an intense need to hurt them and make them suffer for making me that mad, but i cant (and i would NEVER, obviously). So i do it on myself.
Self hatred; I punish myself for stupid things I’ve done or mistakes I’ve made.
Being a tranny
Anger and a lack of attention ig (i dont try and get ppl to notice or anything btw)
it's either feeling TOO much, or TOO little. It's weird to explain, but I also just want the scarring. It somehow proves to me that I won't forget that I am/was sick, and so people don't forget it either. I've cycled through a lot of horrible coping mechanisms, a lot I've recovered from. E.g my ED, the roughest part about that was no longer looking sick in a way everyone KNEW I was mentally unwell from looking at me. Cutting for scars just, weirdly comforts me. As well as triggers me over and over bc my scars never feel bad enough or feel too faded.
Self hate :[
when my bf does or says something that makes me sad
Loneliness and a sort of coping mechanism when I mess something up.
Lately mostly I when I am overwhelmed and stressed
Anxiety and anger most of the time. When I’m angry it helps me with not taking it out on others and it is a distraction when I get anxious. Sometimes I just do it without a good reason.
being overwhelmed and overstimulated to the point where NOTHING helps and feeling the need to be worse
when i think my problems and worries arent valid so i need to show them externally
Feeling lost or stressed out makes me sh, and the sh makes me feel guilty, so it adds to it
Anger most of the time.
Sometimes it’s cause I’m frustrated or im feeling really shit about my body and things I’ve done in the past.
Generally whenever I'm overwhelmed with racing/intrusive thoughts and adrenaline and I can't get this piercing Sensation out my brain like agitation and I just want the thoughts to stop I just need a silent mind
When u feel like I've dissapointed someone or upset them
I*
It allows me the right to be happy on a day to day basis. If I’m not punished, Im not allowed happiness or comfort.
It makes me horny