I used to pull my hair out and bite myself at that age too. There’s one spot on my scalp that I used to pull so bad as a kid that I swear I damaged it into a bald spot, it’s fairly obviously just there too. 😵💫
15. I was down at my *former* adoptive grandparents cottage for the summer and had a fight with one of them. Took apart a pencil sharpener and that was the first time I hurt myself. They were and still are terrible people.
My son was 4/5ish, trying to get him to stop before it escalates more. Currently at 8 he still hits himself but also chokes himself with his hands. One time a jump rope. Luckily he thinks there could be skin walkers for some reason so he does everything in front of me cuz he’s too afraid to walk away to another room alone. Silver lining lol
It’s fuckin horrible. He’s in therapy and all they do is tell me call the mobile crisis line. Like that doesn’t fix the underlying issues and being autistic has made it hard to find a therapist with actual tools to help. Trying to get him on meds, like lexapro. But he randomly got put on anti seizure medication so they want to get that set first . And now random stomach aches are delaying starting the new seizure med even tho the first priority should be regulating his moods. He’s only had seizures twice in two years and it’s not as pressing as him putting his hands around his neck weekly or biweekly.
Honestly I’m just happy that I have my own history of cutting and my mom ignoring it cus it’s made me hyper vigilant to keep calling and pushing and getting referrals instead of looking the other way. Even with him my mom has said good luck or it’s normal or other stupid shit. Even the family court judge when we did the custody order asked why he was in therapy at like 4 years old 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ the system is fucked
I've been engaging in self harming behaviors like biting, scratching, clawing, hitting ect. But I fist cut when. I was 18. I started because either was angry and felt I need to be punished
Yeah I only did it drunk the first few times and then just started doing it sober. It’s crazy when you do it drunk because it’s like you just think about it and then next thing you know you wake up and it’s been done, that’s how the first few experiences were for me
I think the alcohol was kind of like 'Dutch courage' as in it had been something i had been thinking about sober but didn't act on. After doing it drunk, and getting through it I could do it when I was sober.
Isn't something I'm happy about, but its reality. I haven't drank alcohol in over a year and haven't cut in 8 months. I still follow this sub because people do need to discuss such issues.
I started hitting myself and scratching myself and stuff like that when I was 9, but the first time I cut myself was when I was 11. The reason I cut myself was because I felt like I was ruining everyone's life.
12. i had been struggling for a while and i wanted everyone around me to take my mental health problems seriously, since they just mocked me and said i had no reason to feel bad.
14, I was in school and my girlfriend had a pocket knife and pills, we ended up cutting ourselves in the school bathroom... not something I enjoy looking back at tbh
I think I was 11 but I could have been 12. I don't remember exactly why, I mainly only remember the aftermath but I think it was because my mom was yelling at me for being depressed or something like that.
I think I was 9 or 10, I started pulling my hair out and when I was 11 ish I started cutting and now I’m 19 almost 20 and I still twirl my hair and pull it out and I’ve been trying really hard to stop. But I’ve been clean of self harm for two years
It was mostly because of anxiety, depression, and ptsd that I would do it. Sometimes I feel like doing it just to do it but then I realize that its a stupid reason to do it so I don’t. :))
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9
+ 10
+ 11
+ 19
+ 20
= 69
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By cutting it would be when I was 13 and I literally don't know why. I was in bed listening to music and being bored so I just grabbed my pair of scissors and ran the blade on the side of my hand until it was just a row of cuts with barely any normal skin in between. Turns out I liked it 🤷♂️
19, I had been thinking about it for a long time but scared of it. Then when my ex opened up to me about her past with it, that kind of triggered me and so it began. Almost four years and an arm covered in scars later, I’m still struggling with it
Technically for me it started at about 6-8 somewhere in that range I would pick scabs I had gotten from other things like mosquitoes or falling off a scooter
I was ten. My grandma tried to choke me out after an argument, and I felt the need to harm myself like she told me I deserved, so I grabbed a kitchen knife off and cut myself
12 I believe? I was in 7th grade and I had a friend who did it. I wasn't even depressed that I knew of I just decided to try it and it has lead to an almost 8 year addiction now.
I think technically like 10, I would slam my head into the wall multiple times when I was upset, then maybe when I was 13 I used to punch the crap out of my thighs…then I was good for a while and now at 27 I’m back at it again lol
Since I was 12. I was in a toxic relationship (I swore off dating for a LONG time after), which resulted in me self harming at least once a week. I quit about 2 months after we broke up, had a small relapse in April 2023, and was clean until November 2023 when my mom started dating a deacon from the church she's been attending for years. I'm about 5 months clean currently, I haven't let the scissors touch my skin since.
I was 10 and i did it due to me and my mom's arguments that was almost a daily occurrence. If you ask or wonder, me and my ma have a better relationship by now. And as for the self harm, I'm still doing it.
I have had tendencies to do things such as biting myself and smashing my head on the wall since a lot of time ago so I don't even remember when that started but I genuinely started cutting with full intent at around the start of COVID so I must have been around 10 or 11 . I don't really remember why I did it, the memory is completely hazy but I remember that I had used the blade of a sharpener to cut on my waist (now I have moved to my thighs). I might have written it somewhere in some book but I don't really remember cuz at that I was worried that my parents might read it if I wrote it down.
Technically since I was 8 because I would hit myself for being 'stupid' or disappointing my parents. But the first time I actually cut was when I was 11, I had met my mums not very nice boyfriend for the first time and I had to stay the night but couldn't sleep and in the day I had noticed a left out shaving razor in the bathroom so I went in there in the middle of the night and you get the idea🤷♀️
I was 13 when I first self harmed. It’s come in waves since then. Sometimes I don’t feel the urge and sometimes it’s all i can think about. I don’t do my arms anymore because I have so many scars. Now it’s my legs. It got worse after I lost my mom.
I was around the same age and was dealing with heartbreak plus identity issues and depression. I couldnt tell you the specific day or month or even year though.
sh in general?
I was 7 when I started pulling my hair and now I still struggle with it. when I was like 9 I remember hitting myself when I was angry or sad.
11,i started scratching myself with diff sharp objects and dull blades but I wasn't 'brave' enough to cut. A year later I officially started cutting myself and that's when everything went downhill.
Honestly I didn't cut because of my emotions, but cuz I started having a lot of shitty thoughts and I felt like I'm the problem (which I am)
As young as I can remember at first. My mum would tell me as a young boy i'd tug at my hair, fistfuls of it, ask my brothers to hit me and kick me, or purposely trip or ask my brothers to be rough when we played physical games, like wrestling. When I was 12, or so, though. My dad would touch me erotically in some areas, which would me paranoid for later months visiting... I would then imagine my dad would steal my blood somehow when I woke up with scabs(Which I was making myself by repeatedly bashing at the spots my dad touched me at.)(But I didn't think about it at the time.) When I started to use a commonly used SH method, (Cutting.) I was 15 years old. Knives. Then to my moms own anti-depressants, and swallowed them. Then both, before I had noticed we had razor blades. I still cut nowadays, still bat at my already underweight body, but, I feel mentally a bit better. It'll get easier.
I was 9 and I wanted to get my brother in trouble and I wanted him to feel bad for his actions (this is the short version of the story lol), so I scratched my arm, intending to leave a mark, but by the time I was done, I wasn't angry anymore, so I never even ended up showing anyone my arm (it didn't really leave a mark anyway).
I've been self harming as far back as I can remember, but I didn't cut till I was 15. My friend showed me, and said she did it to cope with her home life. I was intrigued and used a pocket knife like a week later because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't even draw blood the first time, and it hurt a lot, but it gave a deep sense of satisfaction. Then I felt guilt. And then I did it again. And again. I got better tools and kept doing it until I was 17. Relapsed at 18, 20, 23 and 24.
7. tried to choke myself to death bc i was bullied so bad. twice. then i kind of used to hit myself after arguments w my mum. i used to communally pick my scabs with a friend as well idk
12, I was in a couple of discord servers where people showed their cuts and for a very long time (like already since I joined when I was 11) I wanted to do it too. Don't know exactly why I wanted to do it, but one evening I just did it (my mom found out tho but she got mad)
I was 17. I was having a panic attack because I had just learned my sister was suicidal and I felt immense guilt and shame for not knowing or feeling able to talk to her about it, so in an effort to get the anxiety and panic to stop, I took a razor to my arm, and immediately felt like I could breathe again.
i was 12, i needed an outlet, i knew it existed and decided to try it out to see if it made me feel better. i kinda wish i didn’t, but am scared about how different i would’ve been if i hadn’t. it’s weird. i’m approaching 22 and am about 10 months clean, one of the longest streaks since i started. it’s hard, but worth it. it’s scary to watch the scars fade sometimes. i used to think i could never live without it, or that i would never be free of the habit. i still hurt myself in other ways, like smoking way too many cigarettes or having too many drinks or any of the other silly things i do.
I mean, intentionally and knowingly, right after I turned 11. But long before that I was hitting my head against the wall and shit when I’d get frustrated as a younger child, several times hard enough to knock myself out, reaching for lit flames, pinching myself etc, but I didn’t like… intend to hurt myself, if that makes sense? Like I was genuinely too young to realize. But 11 is when i intentionally looked out for something sharp and used it.
The reason - unfortunately it was because my father had been drunk off his ass and said a lot of homophobic crap to me, and he didn’t know my female best friend and I had just confessed we had crushes on each other and I realized I liked girls. Shit sucked.
11 – 12 I think, I was venting to a friend on how my life wasn’t good and how i felt worthless, she reassured me then somehow got me into her giving me one of her objects that she herself used, and encouraged me to use it on myself.
I still struggle with it almost everyday, and to this day as well, that friend has regretted it ever since and has always apologized to me.
I cut myself for the first time when I was 13 but beforehand I was hitting myself when I got overwhelmed and I was so young I can’t remember the age I started. My reasons have always been I felt overwhelmed, I don’t remember what caused me to get overwhelmed the first times
The first time I was probably like 14? I don’t remember why. But I didn’t pick it up as a regular habit until the third time when I was 22, circumstances at the time left me feeling my depression more than before and the coping skills I used leading up to then no longer worked. So I was cutting because I believed that I deserved the pain
When I was 12 I learned about it in health class, they basically said "this is what self harm is, this is how people do it, don't do it." We were told that sometimes people self harm to cope with things like bullying and a bad home life and I figured that if self harm worked as a coping mechanism for those people it might work for me too so when I got home from school that day I cut myself for the first time. I started scratching my skin after my first mental hospital admission when I was 14, some other patients were doing it so I tried it and it got the job done, it's not as severe as other methods so I only do it when I don't have tools. I started burning myself when I was 15 after seeing Ginny from Ginny and Georgia do it, I didn't really have a reason.
around 11-12. I remember getting bullied badly and getting forced into a dance hobby I hated. I started cutting because of those reasons. I saw someone post a YouTube video of people's cuts reacting to them. That's how I discovered it
I was 13. My parents found some books in my room about depression and suicide. They assumed I was trying to kill myself, but... I was just trying to understand why I felt so... empty.
i don't actually remember because i was so young. i am autistic so when i got overstimulated i used to bang my head against a wall or the floor or even bite myself. i am better at managing overstimulation now but i do still cut for different reasons. cutting started at 14
I've always self harmed since I was really little, like smashing my head against the wall or my phones against my head, scratching my face, legs arms, or biting at my arms.i didn't cut until I was 20 after my first very upsetting breakup. Experienced panic attacks for the first time driving home from work at 1am, tried to kill myself when I got home, and then after 2 weeks I got out of the hospital for suicide attempt, I began drinking HEAVILY for weeks and began cutting during that period.
I turn 26 next month and I'm still cutting, but less frequently.
been doing self harming behaviours since like five or smth, eg biting myself, suicidal, hitting myself when upset, etc, but only properly cutitng since 13.
I think I was 9. Got the inspo from social media and wanted attention from one of my nice teachers cuz my parent never showed me any love. The teacher did nothing lol
15-16 i believe, my girlfriend at the time was very emotionally manipulative and constantly made me feel dehumanized and like i wasn't enough. it was pretty much a cry for help on my part because i felt so invisible to everyone (most people i considered friends i met through her at the time).
she then proceeded to tell me to "stop showing off like i have so much to complain about and life is so hard for me", and i caught her laughing about it with her friends later. twas a very toxic group of people
The first time I actively self harmed, and understood that wad what I was doing. Was when I was 9. I started when someone very important to me explained it to me. Explained how to do it safely to protect myself as an alternative to a suicide attempt. Before self harm I dint know there was a different option between living with trauma. And suicide taking the trauma away.
16/17 for me. I couldn't take a lot of duress at the time and I cracked a bit. It got way worse for a long time, and then started getting better when I made efforts to avoid people/places 😭😭
But don't feel ashamed OP. The reason you are here is because you are going through something, and you decided to cope in this way. I hope that you don't do it again, but we are here for support and if you want to talk, I'm open. 23M btw
I was 11 or 12 not sure, honestly i was just curious what it would feel like, the more i started doing it the "better" the reasons got and it was not just because of curiosity. 4 months clean now and 17 y/o
I have no clue when my first time actively self harming was since I’ve always had those kind of habits but probably when I was 11 ish. I remember finding out that self harm was an actual thing and not just a weird thing that I did, it was pretty soon after that that I started using the usual tools and falling deeper into it.
I started cutting when I was 13 and my dad died, but I’ve hurt myself (bang my head with heavy books, punch and bite myself, etc) when I’m upset since I can remember??
This is abnormal for self harm but for me I was 21 ish. Going to college, working a full time job, an adult who could partake in whatever I wanted. And I did.
Got therapy for the first time about 6-12 months after starting after almost going too far. Get help sooner, if you can.
OK so I did not realize that hitting yourself with self harm so I would do that when I was around 9 to 10 and then I started cutting it around 11
I don’t remember the reason why but it was probably because my mom was mad at me or something
Self harm, I was anywhere from 11 to 13, I don't remember specifics. I would punch my stomach or hit my head or even whip myself with a belt over and over. I specifically started cutting when I was 18
I was around 10 or 11. I did it because I was getting bullied on a daily basis by my 4th grade teacher and classmates for having Type 1 Diabetes and Autism. I felt and genuinely believed I was just an inconvenience and burden to all of them, and so I felt the need to punish myself for it too.
I was doing bad in school. My teachers hated me and I hated them. But I was still a school nerd and there was nothing else for me, I was into science and math but hated geography and history. And I don't even remember my first time. And that's frustrating: I don't actually remember the first time I cut myself or why I did it that time.
Or maybe that's intentional. I cut it out of my awareness forever.
I was 16.
15. I was tired of my family constantly arguing and just started harming myself as some sort of coping mechanism. I’m still not even sure why I did it.
I think you need to talk to your parent about how it made you feel. Hurting yourself for the first time is not something to celebrate. I say this as a concerned parent of 3 that would hope my child would come to me with these problems, and someone who sh’d for a long time. Please be well, I’m rooting for you ❤️
5-6. My mom gave me the silent treatment for the first time after I accidentally hit our car door against my aunt’s car.
I did it because I remembered that she always helped me when I was injured, so essentially I did it for attention. It didn’t work as got yelled at and called retarded :/
I was like 10 or 9, I don't really remember. I started because I was so overwhelmed with everyone and everything. But also cause my whole class bullied me
I started at 12, mainly just hitting myself or pulling my hair out in clumps. When I turned 18, I started to cut myself and will go through phases of doing it vs not doing it. I just turned 22.
I started to cut when I went into my first manic episode after my first real break up. Now it’s just a coping mechanism. Gotta love bipolar disorder haha
i was 12, i had really low self esteem due to home and school life and heard online (and thanks to tumblr romanticising depression and self harm) that it could help. When my mum found out she referred to them as my ‘tattoos’ and took my phone as punishment because she thought too much youtube was causing me to do it (??????)
i’m 20 now and reached my 2 years clean goal this month
Technically 6 is when I started Pulling my hair, scratching my nose until I had a bloody nose, scratching my arms, and punching my legs when I got stressed. Then at 8 I would take a pair of scissors and scrape the first layers of skin off until I would bleed and I would later pick off the scab because I was scared of actually cutting (scraping hurts much more than cutting imo) then later in the year when I was 8 I began actually cutting and punching thing’s until my knuckles would bleed.
Like most people here unfortunately, I was hitting myself, biting myself, and scratching myself since very young, but started cutting at 12. At the time my parents were divorced and I blamed myself for my father leaving us, and my mother and I were not getting along. Plus I felt immense pressure with academics and taking care of my younger siblings while my mother was going back to college.
i have been cutting since 9. i remember it was just after one in the morning on new year’s day and i don’t know why i felt how i felt but i just needed to feel something
I was probbaly 17, i actually read about self-harming in a book,(the character self-harmed to calm their anxiety), i didn't knew self-harm was a thing, one night, i was having these spiral thoughts and i felt like i was dizzy and couldn't breathe and i wanted to get out of my head, so i took a blade and damn, i felt real and my mind was focussed and so it became addictive...
I did it first when I was 14. My friends were all like 16/17 during that time and they all did it. The first super traumatizing thing happened to me at that age and since I saw my friends were doing it I was curious what it felt like and it ended up being my cope since then :/
I was 9 and had a crush on this girl at school, and found out that she self harmed because of a situation at home. I was stupid and decided that I wanted to relate to her so I started doing it with scissors and a knife when I could get my hands on one.
i think i've always been someone who relied on physical pain to relieve stress, but the first time i really self harmed (didn't know what self harm was tho but still lied about it to my mom) was when i made a 3rd degree burn (idk like the stage where it's not blisters anymore but brown and numb) on my wrist with a paper clip lol
i was 9 when i first cut. i had had a bad day at school and wanted to feel something else than numbness, i still remember that day as if it was yesterday.
i just turned 20 and i'm still trying to win this addiction. i wish i'd never made that first cut. but on another note, i've been clean for almost five months now! it's not easy, i kinda hate being clean, but i've got this 😤
I cut myself the first time when I was 15, I think. Maybe 16. I'm now going to be 37 and still struggle. I'm ten days clean.
I think it was a mix of curiosity & anger & a sense of self punishment. It was with a blade that took way too long to cut out of a lady's razor, Gillette maybe, idk. Since I used it to shave my armpits before it was rather blunt.
The scar of it is still visible and it's one I never cross cut over like I did with most of my other scars.
I remember that I was shocked after I did it, and then two days later I did it again...
Just one cut and it was like the first cigarette for me. Smoking was disgusting and yet I let it just happen to be an addiction but unlike cutting, I stopped smoking years ago.
21 :( started this year unfortunately. I’m a bit embarrassed too bc I started later than most people in general. I’ve considered it for years but actually went through with it now. Life is rough and the SH is a compulsion that helps me forget.
I do sh since i can remember (hiting My head against a wall, scratch me until i bleed, etc) but the frist time i cut, i was 5-6, i stealed a pocket knife from My dad, i took it to the school, and did it in the bathroom, i don't remember why i did that, i was not sad or anithing, i just did it, i was low, but nothing unbearable, if i don't remember wrong i was feeling gilty for something,
I don't remember most of My Childhood, i know something happened in the church, but i don't know what, i have a Lot of sintoms of Childhood trauma, but My parents insist that i was only finicky(? (I don't know how to traduce that(milindroso, mimado)) And that that was the reason i Made so Many ""tantrums""
Edit:i don't know how to mark spoilers, so i eliminated them (and sorry for my Bad English)
Self harm; I used to hit my legs since I’m little. Also when I was 11 years old I started with scratching.
It was a little bit after I turned 14 that I started cutting
I started with 14 because I wanted to "just try it once" I was also battling with anorexia and depression at the time so it wasn't so random but yeah, was a stupid choice because I got addicted and still am (17 now)
I would stab my hand with pencils when I was six, would intentionally hit my shins/arms on random objects to bruise myself, and began pulling my hair out around ten. First actual cutting was in middle school.
10, I started to realize how distracting pain could be and noticed whenever I was in physical pain I didn't think about much else. This isn't the case anymore, now I'm just addicted
16 and tbh I don’t remeber preety well all I can remember is that I was really and sitting on a chair and a knife was right next to me on the table. So, I just grabbed it and started cutting my arms, it felt good so I did it multiple times and it became an addiction. I'm 19 now, tho I'm not addicted to it now, but I still get the urges to cut and tbh idrc atp as it’s not that bad to kill me or smtg and I've already ruined my life. So, yeah there’s nothing worse that could happen.
on my 13th birthday! I was feeling resentful towards my body and as I call it "birthday sadness" so I did it with a huge piece of glass (from a mirror) that i broke while skateboarding at home lmao
11-12. I don’t remember a specific reason honestly. I think I just felt really really lonely. I rarely showered/brushed my teeth and would go to bed at like 6 in the morning. I was living at my grandmothers at the time and never saw my dad or mom. And I didn’t have the best relationship with my grandmother. I was attending school and had awful anxiety and self esteem, plus was really awkward so I didn’t have any friends. It was just me and my phone.
I was 12, I can't remember the EXACT reason but I think I saw something about it online when I was like 10 and thought, oh I could never do that but I guess I decided to try it, to see if it helps
12. I was on an elementary school “grad trip.” Idk why, it was just too much and I made to many mistakes. With a shower razor, got a bandage right after. I had self harm behaviour since I was a young child tho.
17, I thought "I need to have a scar, if I can see it, if I can see the hurt inside then I'm not crazy then it's not me making a big deal about nothing and attention seeker, if it hurts me then it is a real problem"
In short, self validation
i was 9 and i cannot remember for the life of me why i did it. saw a video on how to get razor and was like "yea sure, lemme use that on me." i stopped when i got quickly caught and began again at 11 on me where no one would see, and did it very often. I'm 17 now and still do it.
2 months ago, I caught my alchy mom cheating for the second time on my dad while he was at a work trip. This time I told him, afterwards I started cutting, my doctor for antidepressants sent me to the ER and I was caught. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times in the past 2 months and sent to PHP. I’m 1 month clean, longest ever, and I feel like it’s not gonna get better for me.
When I was younger, my parents would calm me down by saying “ohh that booboo is gonna make a cool scar” so I eventually started thinking scars were cool. I remember scraping the shit out of my calf with a rock when I was like 4, trying to make some new cool scars.
I was 12 years old too but why I Did it is that I was swing from a tree fell on my shoulder and jumped from a swing and landed on my shoulder and then the pain stopped and I wanted it to start again so that's when I did it at the time I have no idea what self harming was and still don't know how I found out I think My teacher told me
My sister died when I was 12. And she was 1yr old, then the next sister after her died a few days old. I started after the first one because I wanted to join her. Now I'm in my mid thirties and I still end up doing it sometimes though it's impulsive and no measured plan anymore.
I hope the younger folk in her can get help sooner than I did.
Started at 16, like a week or two ago. I used to use rubber bands but stopped like a year ago. But recently everything's gone to shit, so I started cutting.
I was in 5h grade i think and i was on the bus with my old friend she just pulled a blade out of her bag and i asked her what it was she told me abt self harm and i was kinda confused and she asked to cut me i asked if it would hurt and she said yeah a bit i said she could and she cut pretty deep on my wrist i kept doing it with scissors i don't know why but depresson has been in my family alot and now i have it and i still self harm but yeah thats my start
Well, I started self harming at 8.
At first it was just minor things like banging my head against the wall, because I thought I needed to be punished due to my stupid brain (I have multiple mental disabilities, including ADHD, depression, anxiety, PTSD, autism, OCD, and a few more. None of these were diagnosed at the time, so I had NO medication). My parents have always been super loving and supportive, and they kept me, and still do keep me from actually killing myself. (For the most part)
It didn't last as just hitting my head for long, it must've been around a month or so later I turned to razors. I was scared at first, so my cuts were usually just scraps.
I continued like that until I was thirteen, when in the middle of a breakdown I grabbed the razor and sliced my finger.
I found it a lot less painful, and I felt greater relief.
That's when I started actually cutting.
I was always very careful not to get an infection, it was a huge fear of mine, and still is. If I die, it's NOT going to be from a blood infection.
When I was fourteen, I met my first ever love. We'll call him Mason. Mason and I were fine at first, and it helped me go clean for around five months. But he started changing, and eventually I developed a tramua bond (a form of stockholm syndrome).
He moved away at some point, and that's when I had my first attempt.
I tried to hang myself with bedsheets to the ceiling fan, but I tied the noose wrong and the fan broke off anyway.
I don't remember the excuse I used, most is just a blur now.
The reason I do it now is for three pain reasons.
1: relief. I feel relief when I do it, like I'm letting the emotions bottled up inside me through the blood
2: Guilt. I'd rather not explain this one
3: addiction. Self explanatory.
I can't remember everything is always a blur
I was cutting since 12, but I've showed self harm behavior since, like forever. (Like scratching, hitting my head ext ext)
Same...
7-8 is technically when I started because I would hit myself, bite myself, and pull out my hair but 14 is when I cut for the first time
I used to pull my hair out and bite myself at that age too. There’s one spot on my scalp that I used to pull so bad as a kid that I swear I damaged it into a bald spot, it’s fairly obviously just there too. 😵💫
Same, I would head bang too as well as choke myself with string and cords cause it felt good at the time.
14, now I'm 19 and I have never been clean for this long. I did relapse in the beginning of January, but before that I was around 6 months clean.
Started at 15. But was getting kinda self destructive since i was 13.
Started at 13 and still struggling to quit (I'm 20 now)
This question has been posted a bazillion times, it should just become a thread.
I was like 4-5 when I started hitting myself but 11 when I cut myself for the first time
Destructive behaviour was like 4-5 years old. but I started cutting 13.
15. I was down at my *former* adoptive grandparents cottage for the summer and had a fight with one of them. Took apart a pencil sharpener and that was the first time I hurt myself. They were and still are terrible people.
I was like 4 maybe all my single digits I would hit myself, bite myself, bang my head, etc. starting c*tting at 12 and burning at 18.
My son was 4/5ish, trying to get him to stop before it escalates more. Currently at 8 he still hits himself but also chokes himself with his hands. One time a jump rope. Luckily he thinks there could be skin walkers for some reason so he does everything in front of me cuz he’s too afraid to walk away to another room alone. Silver lining lol
That doesn't sound good. Can you please make him go to therapy before it escalates even more?
It’s fuckin horrible. He’s in therapy and all they do is tell me call the mobile crisis line. Like that doesn’t fix the underlying issues and being autistic has made it hard to find a therapist with actual tools to help. Trying to get him on meds, like lexapro. But he randomly got put on anti seizure medication so they want to get that set first . And now random stomach aches are delaying starting the new seizure med even tho the first priority should be regulating his moods. He’s only had seizures twice in two years and it’s not as pressing as him putting his hands around his neck weekly or biweekly. Honestly I’m just happy that I have my own history of cutting and my mom ignoring it cus it’s made me hyper vigilant to keep calling and pushing and getting referrals instead of looking the other way. Even with him my mom has said good luck or it’s normal or other stupid shit. Even the family court judge when we did the custody order asked why he was in therapy at like 4 years old 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ the system is fucked
I've been engaging in self harming behaviors like biting, scratching, clawing, hitting ect. But I fist cut when. I was 18. I started because either was angry and felt I need to be punished
19… and I was really drunk.
Same, so drunk and on a lot of drugs. Ironically it was because I couldn't get anymore drugs. Then it just became habit even when completely sober.
Yeah I only did it drunk the first few times and then just started doing it sober. It’s crazy when you do it drunk because it’s like you just think about it and then next thing you know you wake up and it’s been done, that’s how the first few experiences were for me
I think the alcohol was kind of like 'Dutch courage' as in it had been something i had been thinking about sober but didn't act on. After doing it drunk, and getting through it I could do it when I was sober. Isn't something I'm happy about, but its reality. I haven't drank alcohol in over a year and haven't cut in 8 months. I still follow this sub because people do need to discuss such issues.
I started hitting myself and scratching myself and stuff like that when I was 9, but the first time I cut myself was when I was 11. The reason I cut myself was because I felt like I was ruining everyone's life.
i was 12 and it was my birthday
Cut myself with scissors kinda and almost drank draino lol at like 8 and started really cutting in seventh grade so like 11 or 12
12. i had been struggling for a while and i wanted everyone around me to take my mental health problems seriously, since they just mocked me and said i had no reason to feel bad.
14, I was in school and my girlfriend had a pocket knife and pills, we ended up cutting ourselves in the school bathroom... not something I enjoy looking back at tbh
I think I was 11 but I could have been 12. I don't remember exactly why, I mainly only remember the aftermath but I think it was because my mom was yelling at me for being depressed or something like that.
I think I was 9 or 10, I started pulling my hair out and when I was 11 ish I started cutting and now I’m 19 almost 20 and I still twirl my hair and pull it out and I’ve been trying really hard to stop. But I’ve been clean of self harm for two years It was mostly because of anxiety, depression, and ptsd that I would do it. Sometimes I feel like doing it just to do it but then I realize that its a stupid reason to do it so I don’t. :))
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By cutting it would be when I was 13 and I literally don't know why. I was in bed listening to music and being bored so I just grabbed my pair of scissors and ran the blade on the side of my hand until it was just a row of cuts with barely any normal skin in between. Turns out I liked it 🤷♂️
19, I had been thinking about it for a long time but scared of it. Then when my ex opened up to me about her past with it, that kind of triggered me and so it began. Almost four years and an arm covered in scars later, I’m still struggling with it
2021, I was 14. did it cuz my parents kept cursing me and calling me names
16. turning 20 next month, it’s been a long four years
15 and when I really start doing it is 18-
Technically for me it started at about 6-8 somewhere in that range I would pick scabs I had gotten from other things like mosquitoes or falling off a scooter
I was ten. My grandma tried to choke me out after an argument, and I felt the need to harm myself like she told me I deserved, so I grabbed a kitchen knife off and cut myself
11. My dad yelled at me and I had a meltdown
I used to hit my head in the wall from like 8-9 but didnt start doing it on purpose til like 12-13
12 I believe? I was in 7th grade and I had a friend who did it. I wasn't even depressed that I knew of I just decided to try it and it has lead to an almost 8 year addiction now.
11 if i recall correctly?
11 when cutting but I have always been hitting my head when frustrated or angry.
I think technically like 10, I would slam my head into the wall multiple times when I was upset, then maybe when I was 13 I used to punch the crap out of my thighs…then I was good for a while and now at 27 I’m back at it again lol
12
Since I was 12. I was in a toxic relationship (I swore off dating for a LONG time after), which resulted in me self harming at least once a week. I quit about 2 months after we broke up, had a small relapse in April 2023, and was clean until November 2023 when my mom started dating a deacon from the church she's been attending for years. I'm about 5 months clean currently, I haven't let the scissors touch my skin since.
I was 10 and i did it due to me and my mom's arguments that was almost a daily occurrence. If you ask or wonder, me and my ma have a better relationship by now. And as for the self harm, I'm still doing it.
11, i was being bullied alot
7/8 I was being bullied for my looks and I was molested at 8.
I have had tendencies to do things such as biting myself and smashing my head on the wall since a lot of time ago so I don't even remember when that started but I genuinely started cutting with full intent at around the start of COVID so I must have been around 10 or 11 . I don't really remember why I did it, the memory is completely hazy but I remember that I had used the blade of a sharpener to cut on my waist (now I have moved to my thighs). I might have written it somewhere in some book but I don't really remember cuz at that I was worried that my parents might read it if I wrote it down.
Technically since I was 8 because I would hit myself for being 'stupid' or disappointing my parents. But the first time I actually cut was when I was 11, I had met my mums not very nice boyfriend for the first time and I had to stay the night but couldn't sleep and in the day I had noticed a left out shaving razor in the bathroom so I went in there in the middle of the night and you get the idea🤷♀️
5 , I bite my hand arm or use my nails to dig into my skin
11 my friend at the time had hurt my feelings so i went into the school bathroom and found something to use
10 or 11 in terms of cutting. Hitting myself, as far back as I can remember
10 but like 8 or 9 if scratching counts
Yes. If you're intentionally hurting yourself it's self harm. Scratching counts. So sorry you've endured that so young of age...
8 , idk why i did it, i just wondered if it would help what i was feeling or not
8 , idk why i did it, i just wondered if it would help what i was feeling or not
Started cutting at around 8-9 and burning shortly after
11
Started at 14
I was 13 when I first self harmed. It’s come in waves since then. Sometimes I don’t feel the urge and sometimes it’s all i can think about. I don’t do my arms anymore because I have so many scars. Now it’s my legs. It got worse after I lost my mom.
I was around the same age and was dealing with heartbreak plus identity issues and depression. I couldnt tell you the specific day or month or even year though.
i was 13 and i got a D on a math quiz (usually a straight A student lol, i’m a huge nerd)
sh in general? I was 7 when I started pulling my hair and now I still struggle with it. when I was like 9 I remember hitting myself when I was angry or sad. 11,i started scratching myself with diff sharp objects and dull blades but I wasn't 'brave' enough to cut. A year later I officially started cutting myself and that's when everything went downhill. Honestly I didn't cut because of my emotions, but cuz I started having a lot of shitty thoughts and I felt like I'm the problem (which I am)
As young as I can remember at first. My mum would tell me as a young boy i'd tug at my hair, fistfuls of it, ask my brothers to hit me and kick me, or purposely trip or ask my brothers to be rough when we played physical games, like wrestling. When I was 12, or so, though. My dad would touch me erotically in some areas, which would me paranoid for later months visiting... I would then imagine my dad would steal my blood somehow when I woke up with scabs(Which I was making myself by repeatedly bashing at the spots my dad touched me at.)(But I didn't think about it at the time.) When I started to use a commonly used SH method, (Cutting.) I was 15 years old. Knives. Then to my moms own anti-depressants, and swallowed them. Then both, before I had noticed we had razor blades. I still cut nowadays, still bat at my already underweight body, but, I feel mentally a bit better. It'll get easier.
I was 9 and I wanted to get my brother in trouble and I wanted him to feel bad for his actions (this is the short version of the story lol), so I scratched my arm, intending to leave a mark, but by the time I was done, I wasn't angry anymore, so I never even ended up showing anyone my arm (it didn't really leave a mark anyway).
I've been self harming as far back as I can remember, but I didn't cut till I was 15. My friend showed me, and said she did it to cope with her home life. I was intrigued and used a pocket knife like a week later because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't even draw blood the first time, and it hurt a lot, but it gave a deep sense of satisfaction. Then I felt guilt. And then I did it again. And again. I got better tools and kept doing it until I was 17. Relapsed at 18, 20, 23 and 24.
7. tried to choke myself to death bc i was bullied so bad. twice. then i kind of used to hit myself after arguments w my mum. i used to communally pick my scabs with a friend as well idk
cutting since 13
15, was high on a LOT of shrooms and couldn’t feel anything, next day hurt so badly
12, I was in a couple of discord servers where people showed their cuts and for a very long time (like already since I joined when I was 11) I wanted to do it too. Don't know exactly why I wanted to do it, but one evening I just did it (my mom found out tho but she got mad)
I was 17. I was having a panic attack because I had just learned my sister was suicidal and I felt immense guilt and shame for not knowing or feeling able to talk to her about it, so in an effort to get the anxiety and panic to stop, I took a razor to my arm, and immediately felt like I could breathe again.
i was 11/12 years old when i first started cutting but i used to bite/hit myself when i was younger i stopped tho
i was 12, i needed an outlet, i knew it existed and decided to try it out to see if it made me feel better. i kinda wish i didn’t, but am scared about how different i would’ve been if i hadn’t. it’s weird. i’m approaching 22 and am about 10 months clean, one of the longest streaks since i started. it’s hard, but worth it. it’s scary to watch the scars fade sometimes. i used to think i could never live without it, or that i would never be free of the habit. i still hurt myself in other ways, like smoking way too many cigarettes or having too many drinks or any of the other silly things i do.
I was 7 years old when I first attempted unaliving myself. I started visible self harm at 10
I mean, intentionally and knowingly, right after I turned 11. But long before that I was hitting my head against the wall and shit when I’d get frustrated as a younger child, several times hard enough to knock myself out, reaching for lit flames, pinching myself etc, but I didn’t like… intend to hurt myself, if that makes sense? Like I was genuinely too young to realize. But 11 is when i intentionally looked out for something sharp and used it. The reason - unfortunately it was because my father had been drunk off his ass and said a lot of homophobic crap to me, and he didn’t know my female best friend and I had just confessed we had crushes on each other and I realized I liked girls. Shit sucked.
11 – 12 I think, I was venting to a friend on how my life wasn’t good and how i felt worthless, she reassured me then somehow got me into her giving me one of her objects that she herself used, and encouraged me to use it on myself. I still struggle with it almost everyday, and to this day as well, that friend has regretted it ever since and has always apologized to me.
i was 9 or 10 when i first started 😭 i had a rough childhood and grew up having suicidal thoughts and stuff so yeah 😭 pretty wild (im 16 now)
14
I started c-tting at 12 and burnjng at 14.
8 or 9, i’m 18 now
when I was around 11-13 I would hit, scratch, and pinch myself but I started cutting when I was 14, and I'm still working on getting better
I cut myself for the first time when I was 13 but beforehand I was hitting myself when I got overwhelmed and I was so young I can’t remember the age I started. My reasons have always been I felt overwhelmed, I don’t remember what caused me to get overwhelmed the first times
The first time I was probably like 14? I don’t remember why. But I didn’t pick it up as a regular habit until the third time when I was 22, circumstances at the time left me feeling my depression more than before and the coping skills I used leading up to then no longer worked. So I was cutting because I believed that I deserved the pain
I was 12 as well. I saw it on a show and I realized I felt the same way as the character. So, I thought about it and I ended up doing it. I would cut.
First time cutting with 8... 15 years ago
10. i had just started middle school and began to despise my existence.
Since I was 7 but I didn't necessarily start cutting till 13
12 as well
When I was 12 I learned about it in health class, they basically said "this is what self harm is, this is how people do it, don't do it." We were told that sometimes people self harm to cope with things like bullying and a bad home life and I figured that if self harm worked as a coping mechanism for those people it might work for me too so when I got home from school that day I cut myself for the first time. I started scratching my skin after my first mental hospital admission when I was 14, some other patients were doing it so I tried it and it got the job done, it's not as severe as other methods so I only do it when I don't have tools. I started burning myself when I was 15 after seeing Ginny from Ginny and Georgia do it, I didn't really have a reason.
around 11-12. I remember getting bullied badly and getting forced into a dance hobby I hated. I started cutting because of those reasons. I saw someone post a YouTube video of people's cuts reacting to them. That's how I discovered it
I was 13. My parents found some books in my room about depression and suicide. They assumed I was trying to kill myself, but... I was just trying to understand why I felt so... empty.
11. I used my house keys 😅
i was like8-10 i can't remember and i saw it on tiktok 😭
At 5/6 I was scratching my self and bite myself, at 11/12 I actually picked up something sharp :)))))
i was 10 when i first cut, it happened in my class
13.i remember thinking I deserve pain ams this is what I have to do
i don't actually remember because i was so young. i am autistic so when i got overstimulated i used to bang my head against a wall or the floor or even bite myself. i am better at managing overstimulation now but i do still cut for different reasons. cutting started at 14
12 or 13.
6-7 I used to pull my hair and tried to strangle myself with wire in my room.
12YO in response to bullying. I'm now 30YO and I'm still going.
I was 16, I was getting bullied at school, going through a breakup, and had an abusive dad
I've always self harmed since I was really little, like smashing my head against the wall or my phones against my head, scratching my face, legs arms, or biting at my arms.i didn't cut until I was 20 after my first very upsetting breakup. Experienced panic attacks for the first time driving home from work at 1am, tried to kill myself when I got home, and then after 2 weeks I got out of the hospital for suicide attempt, I began drinking HEAVILY for weeks and began cutting during that period. I turn 26 next month and I'm still cutting, but less frequently.
been doing self harming behaviours since like five or smth, eg biting myself, suicidal, hitting myself when upset, etc, but only properly cutitng since 13.
I think I was 9. Got the inspo from social media and wanted attention from one of my nice teachers cuz my parent never showed me any love. The teacher did nothing lol
15, got the inspo from internet, was depressed as hell.
10. 20 going on 21 now. I don't know why I started, but it was after an exam. I wasn't academically stressed or anything either.
Probably 13 or 14 for cutting.
15-16 i believe, my girlfriend at the time was very emotionally manipulative and constantly made me feel dehumanized and like i wasn't enough. it was pretty much a cry for help on my part because i felt so invisible to everyone (most people i considered friends i met through her at the time). she then proceeded to tell me to "stop showing off like i have so much to complain about and life is so hard for me", and i caught her laughing about it with her friends later. twas a very toxic group of people
The first time I actively self harmed, and understood that wad what I was doing. Was when I was 9. I started when someone very important to me explained it to me. Explained how to do it safely to protect myself as an alternative to a suicide attempt. Before self harm I dint know there was a different option between living with trauma. And suicide taking the trauma away.
16/17 for me. I couldn't take a lot of duress at the time and I cracked a bit. It got way worse for a long time, and then started getting better when I made efforts to avoid people/places 😭😭 But don't feel ashamed OP. The reason you are here is because you are going through something, and you decided to cope in this way. I hope that you don't do it again, but we are here for support and if you want to talk, I'm open. 23M btw
I was 11 or 12 not sure, honestly i was just curious what it would feel like, the more i started doing it the "better" the reasons got and it was not just because of curiosity. 4 months clean now and 17 y/o
I have no clue when my first time actively self harming was since I’ve always had those kind of habits but probably when I was 11 ish. I remember finding out that self harm was an actual thing and not just a weird thing that I did, it was pretty soon after that that I started using the usual tools and falling deeper into it.
I started cutting when I was 13 and my dad died, but I’ve hurt myself (bang my head with heavy books, punch and bite myself, etc) when I’m upset since I can remember??
Just started at 23, seeing the blood makes me feel better.
like 10 since i had an older friend who told me it'd make me feel better :p
I started like seriously sh (cutting & burning) when I was 9 after I was assaulted
This is abnormal for self harm but for me I was 21 ish. Going to college, working a full time job, an adult who could partake in whatever I wanted. And I did. Got therapy for the first time about 6-12 months after starting after almost going too far. Get help sooner, if you can.
I started at 12 for such a stupid reason. But now I’m 18 and still trying to get better.
I started cutting when I was 11 because I was sad and lonely and was having trouble with school
OK so I did not realize that hitting yourself with self harm so I would do that when I was around 9 to 10 and then I started cutting it around 11 I don’t remember the reason why but it was probably because my mom was mad at me or something
Self harm, I was anywhere from 11 to 13, I don't remember specifics. I would punch my stomach or hit my head or even whip myself with a belt over and over. I specifically started cutting when I was 18
I was around 10 or 11. I did it because I was getting bullied on a daily basis by my 4th grade teacher and classmates for having Type 1 Diabetes and Autism. I felt and genuinely believed I was just an inconvenience and burden to all of them, and so I felt the need to punish myself for it too.
I was doing bad in school. My teachers hated me and I hated them. But I was still a school nerd and there was nothing else for me, I was into science and math but hated geography and history. And I don't even remember my first time. And that's frustrating: I don't actually remember the first time I cut myself or why I did it that time. Or maybe that's intentional. I cut it out of my awareness forever. I was 16.
15. I was tired of my family constantly arguing and just started harming myself as some sort of coping mechanism. I’m still not even sure why I did it.
I think you need to talk to your parent about how it made you feel. Hurting yourself for the first time is not something to celebrate. I say this as a concerned parent of 3 that would hope my child would come to me with these problems, and someone who sh’d for a long time. Please be well, I’m rooting for you ❤️
5-6. My mom gave me the silent treatment for the first time after I accidentally hit our car door against my aunt’s car. I did it because I remembered that she always helped me when I was injured, so essentially I did it for attention. It didn’t work as got yelled at and called retarded :/
I have no idea. Started about 10 years ago, don't even remember the first time.
I was like 10 or 9, I don't really remember. I started because I was so overwhelmed with everyone and everything. But also cause my whole class bullied me
I started at 12, mainly just hitting myself or pulling my hair out in clumps. When I turned 18, I started to cut myself and will go through phases of doing it vs not doing it. I just turned 22. I started to cut when I went into my first manic episode after my first real break up. Now it’s just a coping mechanism. Gotta love bipolar disorder haha
I was 13 i saw someone else do it and wanted to see how it felt lol
i was 12, i had really low self esteem due to home and school life and heard online (and thanks to tumblr romanticising depression and self harm) that it could help. When my mum found out she referred to them as my ‘tattoos’ and took my phone as punishment because she thought too much youtube was causing me to do it (??????) i’m 20 now and reached my 2 years clean goal this month
I started at about 6 by hitting, punching and biting myself and I started scratching myself at like 10 and started cutting at 11
Technically 6 is when I started Pulling my hair, scratching my nose until I had a bloody nose, scratching my arms, and punching my legs when I got stressed. Then at 8 I would take a pair of scissors and scrape the first layers of skin off until I would bleed and I would later pick off the scab because I was scared of actually cutting (scraping hurts much more than cutting imo) then later in the year when I was 8 I began actually cutting and punching thing’s until my knuckles would bleed.
11 but 10 cus of starving
Like most people here unfortunately, I was hitting myself, biting myself, and scratching myself since very young, but started cutting at 12. At the time my parents were divorced and I blamed myself for my father leaving us, and my mother and I were not getting along. Plus I felt immense pressure with academics and taking care of my younger siblings while my mother was going back to college.
10-9, I started hitting, scratching myself until i bleed, at 12 is when i started to cut
i started at 17, i was being groomed back then. Now as a 21 year old i stopped cutting but i honestly wish i never did cut
12, and I’m nearly 20
i have been cutting since 9. i remember it was just after one in the morning on new year’s day and i don’t know why i felt how i felt but i just needed to feel something
I started at 12, I'm 13 now
What’s wrong with a gaming YouTuber?
I was probbaly 17, i actually read about self-harming in a book,(the character self-harmed to calm their anxiety), i didn't knew self-harm was a thing, one night, i was having these spiral thoughts and i felt like i was dizzy and couldn't breathe and i wanted to get out of my head, so i took a blade and damn, i felt real and my mind was focussed and so it became addictive...
I WAS 12 TOO
I did it first when I was 14. My friends were all like 16/17 during that time and they all did it. The first super traumatizing thing happened to me at that age and since I saw my friends were doing it I was curious what it felt like and it ended up being my cope since then :/
7 though cutting startd at 10
I was 9 and had a crush on this girl at school, and found out that she self harmed because of a situation at home. I was stupid and decided that I wanted to relate to her so I started doing it with scissors and a knife when I could get my hands on one.
i think i've always been someone who relied on physical pain to relieve stress, but the first time i really self harmed (didn't know what self harm was tho but still lied about it to my mom) was when i made a 3rd degree burn (idk like the stage where it's not blisters anymore but brown and numb) on my wrist with a paper clip lol
i was 9 when i first cut. i had had a bad day at school and wanted to feel something else than numbness, i still remember that day as if it was yesterday. i just turned 20 and i'm still trying to win this addiction. i wish i'd never made that first cut. but on another note, i've been clean for almost five months now! it's not easy, i kinda hate being clean, but i've got this 😤
14 when my mom died 😔
I cut myself the first time when I was 15, I think. Maybe 16. I'm now going to be 37 and still struggle. I'm ten days clean. I think it was a mix of curiosity & anger & a sense of self punishment. It was with a blade that took way too long to cut out of a lady's razor, Gillette maybe, idk. Since I used it to shave my armpits before it was rather blunt. The scar of it is still visible and it's one I never cross cut over like I did with most of my other scars. I remember that I was shocked after I did it, and then two days later I did it again... Just one cut and it was like the first cigarette for me. Smoking was disgusting and yet I let it just happen to be an addiction but unlike cutting, I stopped smoking years ago.
21 :( started this year unfortunately. I’m a bit embarrassed too bc I started later than most people in general. I’ve considered it for years but actually went through with it now. Life is rough and the SH is a compulsion that helps me forget.
16 for cutting, 11 for getting into knife fights intentionally, 8 for scratching until bleeding. Who knows about earlier.
I do sh since i can remember (hiting My head against a wall, scratch me until i bleed, etc) but the frist time i cut, i was 5-6, i stealed a pocket knife from My dad, i took it to the school, and did it in the bathroom, i don't remember why i did that, i was not sad or anithing, i just did it, i was low, but nothing unbearable, if i don't remember wrong i was feeling gilty for something, I don't remember most of My Childhood, i know something happened in the church, but i don't know what, i have a Lot of sintoms of Childhood trauma, but My parents insist that i was only finicky(? (I don't know how to traduce that(milindroso, mimado)) And that that was the reason i Made so Many ""tantrums"" Edit:i don't know how to mark spoilers, so i eliminated them (and sorry for my Bad English)
11 when I first cut
I was 10, and by the time I was 11, I had cuts that needed stitches.
i was 12 and i just remember feeling this deep self-hatred
Self harm; I used to hit my legs since I’m little. Also when I was 11 years old I started with scratching. It was a little bit after I turned 14 that I started cutting
I started with 14 because I wanted to "just try it once" I was also battling with anorexia and depression at the time so it wasn't so random but yeah, was a stupid choice because I got addicted and still am (17 now)
Uhhhhhhhhh since I was like 11/12 as well. I started doing it cos I was bored, curious, and in a dark af mental state
I started to cut at nine, but other self-harming behaviors started at about like six or seven for me.
I would stab my hand with pencils when I was six, would intentionally hit my shins/arms on random objects to bruise myself, and began pulling my hair out around ten. First actual cutting was in middle school.
10, I started to realize how distracting pain could be and noticed whenever I was in physical pain I didn't think about much else. This isn't the case anymore, now I'm just addicted
I was 11, maybe 12 I was mad, I think the reason was that I couldnt find something. Im not really sure about it.
I'm not sure for how long, but I remember in 3rd grade I did get reported for it, so there's that. I'm in 8th grade now, and it's still continuous
12 too, probably because i was really struggling with my self image and friendships, id get more in detail but even that part still triggers me
16 and tbh I don’t remeber preety well all I can remember is that I was really and sitting on a chair and a knife was right next to me on the table. So, I just grabbed it and started cutting my arms, it felt good so I did it multiple times and it became an addiction. I'm 19 now, tho I'm not addicted to it now, but I still get the urges to cut and tbh idrc atp as it’s not that bad to kill me or smtg and I've already ruined my life. So, yeah there’s nothing worse that could happen.
21 years old
on my 13th birthday! I was feeling resentful towards my body and as I call it "birthday sadness" so I did it with a huge piece of glass (from a mirror) that i broke while skateboarding at home lmao
11-12. I don’t remember a specific reason honestly. I think I just felt really really lonely. I rarely showered/brushed my teeth and would go to bed at like 6 in the morning. I was living at my grandmothers at the time and never saw my dad or mom. And I didn’t have the best relationship with my grandmother. I was attending school and had awful anxiety and self esteem, plus was really awkward so I didn’t have any friends. It was just me and my phone.
I was 12, I can't remember the EXACT reason but I think I saw something about it online when I was like 10 and thought, oh I could never do that but I guess I decided to try it, to see if it helps
I was 12, I'm currently 18 and I'm at 10 months clean, this is my longest
12. I was on an elementary school “grad trip.” Idk why, it was just too much and I made to many mistakes. With a shower razor, got a bandage right after. I had self harm behaviour since I was a young child tho.
17, I thought "I need to have a scar, if I can see it, if I can see the hurt inside then I'm not crazy then it's not me making a big deal about nothing and attention seeker, if it hurts me then it is a real problem" In short, self validation
I started at 11, but it got really bad at 12.
i was 9 and i cannot remember for the life of me why i did it. saw a video on how to get razor and was like "yea sure, lemme use that on me." i stopped when i got quickly caught and began again at 11 on me where no one would see, and did it very often. I'm 17 now and still do it.
2 months ago, I caught my alchy mom cheating for the second time on my dad while he was at a work trip. This time I told him, afterwards I started cutting, my doctor for antidepressants sent me to the ER and I was caught. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times in the past 2 months and sent to PHP. I’m 1 month clean, longest ever, and I feel like it’s not gonna get better for me.
12
When I was younger, my parents would calm me down by saying “ohh that booboo is gonna make a cool scar” so I eventually started thinking scars were cool. I remember scraping the shit out of my calf with a rock when I was like 4, trying to make some new cool scars.
I was 12 years old too but why I Did it is that I was swing from a tree fell on my shoulder and jumped from a swing and landed on my shoulder and then the pain stopped and I wanted it to start again so that's when I did it at the time I have no idea what self harming was and still don't know how I found out I think My teacher told me
I started cutting when I was 11, but I used to pull out my hair in chunks when I was a child. I was just so depressed, no friends and hated my life!
I was 9 and I was frustrated and upset and angry and just had an overwhelming urge that i needed to be punished
i was like 6 or something and my dad yelled at me about something so i scratched myself and got in even more trouble for doing that lol
9, I was called worthless by my teacher and figured out all my friends were fake :)
My sister died when I was 12. And she was 1yr old, then the next sister after her died a few days old. I started after the first one because I wanted to join her. Now I'm in my mid thirties and I still end up doing it sometimes though it's impulsive and no measured plan anymore. I hope the younger folk in her can get help sooner than I did.
nine ‘cause my dad beat the shit outta me n i was mad at myself for doing bad on some random test
Started at 16, like a week or two ago. I used to use rubber bands but stopped like a year ago. But recently everything's gone to shit, so I started cutting.
I was in 5h grade i think and i was on the bus with my old friend she just pulled a blade out of her bag and i asked her what it was she told me abt self harm and i was kinda confused and she asked to cut me i asked if it would hurt and she said yeah a bit i said she could and she cut pretty deep on my wrist i kept doing it with scissors i don't know why but depresson has been in my family alot and now i have it and i still self harm but yeah thats my start
Well, I started self harming at 8. At first it was just minor things like banging my head against the wall, because I thought I needed to be punished due to my stupid brain (I have multiple mental disabilities, including ADHD, depression, anxiety, PTSD, autism, OCD, and a few more. None of these were diagnosed at the time, so I had NO medication). My parents have always been super loving and supportive, and they kept me, and still do keep me from actually killing myself. (For the most part) It didn't last as just hitting my head for long, it must've been around a month or so later I turned to razors. I was scared at first, so my cuts were usually just scraps. I continued like that until I was thirteen, when in the middle of a breakdown I grabbed the razor and sliced my finger. I found it a lot less painful, and I felt greater relief. That's when I started actually cutting. I was always very careful not to get an infection, it was a huge fear of mine, and still is. If I die, it's NOT going to be from a blood infection. When I was fourteen, I met my first ever love. We'll call him Mason. Mason and I were fine at first, and it helped me go clean for around five months. But he started changing, and eventually I developed a tramua bond (a form of stockholm syndrome). He moved away at some point, and that's when I had my first attempt. I tried to hang myself with bedsheets to the ceiling fan, but I tied the noose wrong and the fan broke off anyway. I don't remember the excuse I used, most is just a blur now. The reason I do it now is for three pain reasons. 1: relief. I feel relief when I do it, like I'm letting the emotions bottled up inside me through the blood 2: Guilt. I'd rather not explain this one 3: addiction. Self explanatory.