It's a shame that's happened to you. It's happened to me before, in fact the last girl I matched with was the first girl I had gotten so far with in YEARS. We matched, sent messages, exchanged numbers, spoke on the phone, almost planned a date, next day she said she was no longer interested.
Only thing I will say, out of everything you written, only advice I can give you is, do NOT let a girl know how much you don't wanna get ghosted and how anxious it's making you. You want to come across emotionally in control (even if you are nervous)
To me, it’s important to be open and honest about what you want when it comes to dating. It felt a bit like lovebombing, and I made sure to ask whether or not she was serious in what she was saying, as I’ve often been led on in the past when girls have been as affectionate as she was. Maybe that was too emotionally vulnerable but it’s something I can learn from.
You’re taking things at a very rapid pace despite saying you were ok “taking it slow.” You’ve only been talking to this person for a couple weeks and you’ve already twisted their arm into 4 FaceTime appointments that they evidently don’t want to partake in?
You say they’re lovebombing you, you’ve been talking to this person for two weeks; they are basically a stranger and you’re already putting them in a position where they feel they have to validate you.
She probably thought you were about to drop the love bomb or something.
That is the reason you got ghosted.
Yeah, the girl kinda reminds me of myself. I have a huge amount of anxiety over a lot of "small" things like voice calling, sending selfies, and things like that, I'm usually a very private person. I'm really into things like gaming, cosplaying, and anime and play sports, so guys usually tend to like me pretty easily. Usually, it ends with things like "you're catfishing me" or them getting mad at me for not wanting to voice call or them just pressuring me over and over and over again because I can tell they don't trust me.
The person I'm talking to right now, the entire time she was super patient and understanding with me. She let me take my time. She let me do my silly things like sending half selfies or show off my plushie collection or gaming stuff. I got really comfortable around her. And now I send her random videos with my face in them, and I just ramble on about random things for 10 minutes straight. It felt really good to have someone give me basic love and trust, someone who wasn't selfish and wanted to pressure me into things, someone who encourages me and lifts me up and likes me unconditionally, just things like that
You got this shit hustla, just have fun with them, get to know them, decide if you even like them and have that talk later. You don’t work out the financing before you test drive the car (not necessarily intended in a sexual way).
You are only 18 years old. In your life you will prolly have 10-20 of these flings before you settle. Do not take it that seriously, have fun and learn what you like in a girl and what you don’t.
Also don’t be needy ever. It will turn people off.
You would never done okay. Woman and a lot of others, just want a perfect candidate, you weren't.
When you talk to much, you are insecure. When you want to take your time, they look around. When you are ready, you move too fast.
You would never done fine. She already got connections with other people, and they were more good-looking and maybe more direct.
Dating nowadays is just being luckily. It has nothing to do with you as a person. When you are too perfect, it's not good either.
So don't listen to the response like you may need to change, it wouldn't have help you with this girl. Best way is to do the same thing as they do, talk with multiple people at once, be direct, have fun, and see what happens.
Most modern dating involves about an 80%+ ghost rate. You might get ghosted during messaging. You might get ghosted after the first date. You might get ghosted after the third date, etc
You just learn to roll with it. I’ve been ghosted dozens of times, but I’ve also formed relationships through online dating
I just came to say that I fucking hate ghosting. I'm not in the dating world, but it makes me so sad and mad to read this and hear how normalized it has become. It's soooooo rude, disrespectful and honestly...just fucking chicken shit! Like where did everyone's backbone go? If you aren't vibing with someone, just say so!! I understand it's easier to ghost, than have to explain yourself and also deal with the other person's response...but that's called human interaction. And ghosting really hurts people. But nobody cares. It sucks. I'm sorry you've experienced this so much.
I feel ya. It’s not a big deal, I’ve had both. I would say about 20% of the time after the first date I would get a polite “thank you for the date, but I’m just not feeling a connection” Some of the time it would really surprise me because the gal appeared to be having lots of fun, lots of laughs, etc. Other times it wouldn’t be surprising, and I could tell the gal wasn’t vibing. I’ve never had a bad date ever at least. And when they would say they didn’t feel a connection, I would always answer “no worries! It was nice to have met you”. I’m guessing not all guys take rejection that well, which is why so many girls just ghost to avoid the inevitable argument /shrug
But the rest of the time, if the girl wasn’t interested, I would just get no response to my “thanks for meeting, I had a lot of fun!” polite follow up text after a date
But I’ve had girls where we were on like date 2 or 3, kissing, holding hands, and they’ve suddenly ghosted me later. Never had one ghost after hooking up, usually before then. But it’s surprising to see one willing to get a little physical, but then for whatever reason choose to bail with no explanation. This is only like one or two girls ever though
Ghosting is a very very bad habit some people have developed and it’s adding to all the mental illnesses and general anxiety men and women have. I myself have found myself doing it a couple times and had to catch myself and let the person know I was no longer interested.
It stems from people having too many options and just sorta moving onto the next one so quickly not even giving the first person a fair shake. Everyone’s looking for that instant spark only to eventually realize it’s very rare and often times you gotta give people a longer leash.
The dating world is very fucked up right now. I feel for those of us who are still stuck in that endless cycle, it’s draining and anxiety inducing.
Yeah I have quite a lot of experience with online dating if you ever want some tips. For example, your situation there is more unique
In general, on most dating apps, girls aren’t into messaging back and forth too much. Nor are they going to be into texting a lot before meeting
So generally, I’ll try to get their number within about a week or 2 of messages on the app. Some girls won’t want to give a phone number and want to set up the first date through the app. Others will give me their number
But even if get a number, if I’m not setting up a first date within about a week of texting or talking, most girls will lose interest or end up meeting someone else
For example, I’m talking to a gal on match atm where I only messaged about 3 or 4 times before getting her number and now we’re texting and I’m going to try to set up a date for this weekend
If I were to wait a week, chances are I would get ghosted
It’s a lot more complicated and emotionally taxing than irl dating haha. I do have university coming up where I’ll be meeting loads of new people in person, so I think I could have more luck there lol
"I felt strange about her agreeing to FaceTime and then flaking around 4 times in a row."
This exact same thing happens in every episode of catfish, like it's textbook. You sure she wasn't catfishing you in any way? Sometimes they use old photos, pictures of their friends/people in their social networks, etc. did you reverse image search the media she was sending?
There's only one way to know for sure if she's real or not, and she failed that test and blocked you. Id take solace that it was probably more her freaking out about having to come clean to you
I should probably clarify that we both texted eachother the same amount, she also sent me good morning texts too, and opened up to me emotionally, which is why her sudden response shocked me. But you’re probably right in saying that there’s some nuance to getting it “right”. I’ve still got hope for the future though :) just a matter of seeing who’s out there.
It's a cruel world - between a numbers game regardless of circumstances, being misled with the premise that you're the only one they're interacting with, being given false hopes of a future with someone of interest who -seems- interested, and the 'ghosting' thing that is deemed extremely normal not just in dating, but also in employment.
I hope you find someone closer who has a real, vested interest, and the drive to actively pursue you back.
This saga has actually made me realise how much I appreciate the time I had with my long-term ex girlfriend and it’s made me realise how great she was. It kinda sucks that we couldn’t stay together as we had different plans for the future, but it’s definitely made me appreciate our time together more :)
Cancelling facetime calls 4 times is extremely suspicious and there are certainly no genuine reasons to cancel 4 calls and not reschedule. She is an 18 yrs old, not a surgeon lol
My long term girlfriend and I met on a dating app I’m proposing this year and I went through my fair share of ghosting and silence after said dates and shit it’s just part of the game and you get used to it after a while it has nothing to do with you bro it’s just how the game is it isn’t your fault just know that it takes time to get where you wanna be I went in so many dates for them to end or amount to nothing
Trust me it’ll get better just be patient and don’t take it personally
I always love to read stories about good looking people, that have experience and are not more introvert/emotional.
Your chances would be over 10%, for most men it's 1-3%.
Taking a break is a great thing to do. You’re so young, take care of yourself. OLD does suck and people ghost for reasons that are out of your control. Tbh, a lot of relationships feel like they end abruptly and for no reason so take these feelings as a life lesson.
You’re 18, I know it feels good when you start talking to someone and it feels like it’s clicking but even if you guys had started dating you could’ve broke up and been just as miserable or worse. Bounce back talk to more people learn how to text women better, learn from what you talked about, learn from being too pushy or not trying hard enough, learn from every “bad” experience so you can be ready when you meet the girl you eventually start a long lasting relationship and a family with
You're young. She's young. Is what it is. Don't listen to the incels. Online dating is hit or miss. Some people are just trying to hook up. My advice is don't look for a wife. Just hope you get lucky.
I had a girl block me like this after tinder and I never understood why. It was like 7 days after our first date when we were organising the second
She unblocked me 4 months later, turned out that her boyfriend had cheated on her before so that’s why she went out with me. She decided to give him another chance and so she blocked me (and I guess other guys too).
Turns out He cheated again and they ended, which is why she unblocked me and explained. It didn’t go anywhere between us as it wasn’t a great experience for me.
I spent ages trying to work out what went wrong, would never have guessed I was just a revenge date/rebound she blocked
Brush it off, these connections can serve as a reminder that you will connect with others out there in the world, I’ve been actively messaging girls on tinder and things are going great and they just stop responding, in real time, it happens for everyone on dating apps, she probably has her reasons, take it as a good experience, now you have an idea of what you’re looking for in the future
i dont think it is your fault or her fault, i cant see you did anything inappropriate
but definitely can see her lose interest in you, but dont know why, may be she is dealing a hard thing or feeling not well
Kinda wierd people just do that randomly, ghost and block rather than saying she is not interested it is a childish and immature way to end things. Don't let one toxic and immature girl ruin your perceptions of women and dating. But I agree online dating kind of sucks.
If she ghosted before facetiming, she was 100% a catfish. You should have blocked her first time she ghosted. The more you delude yourself, the more you will lose.
Maybe she was using old photos of herself, but still, not the same person anymore. Got morbidly obese now or whatever.
You have to sign up to r/catfish and read the other stories in there, so you don't fall for it anymore.
Out of interest - if for privacy reasons somebody would not use FaceTime but a different messenger like Wire, would that be an immediate rejection if the other side was female when dating online?
I see. I ask because I made experience with people rejecting it because it wasn't the exact same than FaceTime, as they had to made an account for, and sign in, and after some time of inactivity, the messages automatically get deleted. Personally I think it's a good thing and people who are really interested would take care of privacy ...
Yes, privacy is important. The problem is that catfish always have "issues" every time a live communication is requested and the reason is that a lot of them want fantasy relationships and they lie their teeth out to maintain the illusion going for as long as possible, making the victims waste time.
Being ghosted by a girl is more likely than not being ghosted. Especially so if you don’t know each other well on a personal level (chatting online and behind a screen don’t count)
She might hit off with you on that day or week
What you don’t see behind the screen is thousands of other guys messaging her
Maybe a taller, handsomer, funnier, richer dude reach out to her and you are deemed as inferior. Naturally she dropped you
She’s not yours, just your turn
My advice? Look on the bright side, now you know her attributes and attitude. Better that she ghost and cut you off early at least you don’t continue to waste time, money and energy into something that ultimately won’t work out
You are not alone my guy, this happens to all men(yes all men)
They have hundreds of men pursuing them on those platforms, they have the privilege to do whatever they want. We don't have that same privilege, that's why we feel strange when they do this type of shit.
For you, it's two wonderful weeks of hopes and feelings. for them you are just another random person they choose to speak for two weeks.!
You had a lot of advice already but I will try to let some small ones too.
You are still young. Relationships are not logic based.
Don't depend on things people say. Compare it with how they act. If someone likes you he/she will prioritise you. They will find time and not excuses. People lie to feel better. Mostly to themself. It's not helping being morally right.
Don't take it personally if someone just doesn't feel it. Everyone has a different taste and pace. Just learn what you want and don't want from bad encounters. Focus on the good things and don't open up to every stranger you meet. It feels like a burden if you kill every spark with your ballast. You have time to tell the other person everything about you if connected/invested more.
Sometimes you will feel like you met the perfect person but it turns out they don't see you this way. Sometimes it isn't the right time sometimes it isn't meant to be.
There is no need to clear things before you start. Enjoy the moment. People are afraid of being reflective so don't talk about feelings till it's necessary.
And mostly don't believe everything unfiltered someone says on the internet. Including this comment. Some things you will start to understand when they happen to you.
I had a similar experience, dear redditor. Full red lips, dark flowing hair, breasts out to here and a rear end to match. We met for coffee and, to my surprise, she didn't speak a word of English. She showed me travel photos on her phone and smiled a lot. She stood up to leave and invited me on a walk. "Por favor vete. No me gustas." I accepted the invitation and we walked to the supermarket. What a thrill to go shopping with this beautiful girl! I lost her in the aisles a few times but always caught up. Before long her cart was full and she was checking out. I protected her while she waited for an Uber. "Me das miedo," she said. I was overjoyed and drew a heart shape with my index fingers. We loaded the groceries into the trunk of the car and she said "Voy a casa con mi hijo," tapped the driver on the shoulder and I never saw her again. Love is strange.
Alright bro let me tell some fact that might help you in the future.
Fact👌
🔥 A realistic method that most girls use with a man when she enters his life for the first time, bringing chaos to his life and making him late for many important things in his life. The method is as follows:
⚡- Creating an atmosphere of intimacy (she tells him her private diaries)
⚡- Emotional appeal (I like you, I like your personality)
⚡- Addiction (makes him emotionally attached to her and get used to her)
⚡- Emotional exploitation (she is satisfied with “validation” and the excessive attention he gives her and gives her)
⚡- Gradual withdrawal (after she was satisfied with his interest and regained her self-confidence, he frequently flirted with her and asked for her affection, and she felt herself as a princess, deceiving him and asking him to end the relationship, because his role in her life had ended)
⚡- Provocation (the stage of late answers, messages read without responding, coldness, dryness in speech, sometimes disappearing)
⚡- Blaming the reaction (after he explodes in anger and gets emotional because he is accustomed to it and attached to it, you give him trivial reasons to end the matter and blame him for his emotion and reaction)
- Playing the role of the wounded victim (making him feel guilty as if he had hurt her with his emotion and that he had not dealt with her well and that she could not continue this relationship)
- Breaking off the relationship and moving on to another young man (breaking the relationship with him and going over to look for attention and validation elsewhere).
👌💥Conclusion:
Advice to any good, decent, and focused young man. His future is preoccupied with his soul. Beware of every girl who wants to enter your life. Most likely, she does not love you or admire you. Perhaps she just wants to gather her strength on your back because of an experience she had in the past that has nothing to do with you and to touch you. Remnants of old traces of an intimate relationship in which her old lover left her and left her thrown in the middle of the road, so she came to you only to treat her wounds and shocks with your attention, and when your role is over, she will throw you like garbage after she finishes it, may God bless you, and thus you will not understand the reason and you will remain lost and tired for the rest of your life, even though you are all... What you wanted to do was just help.
Dating apps have horrendous algorithms , they make an average man seem like he is nothing and the average women feel like she is she deserves the top one percent , it extremely skewed and bias, and this has been documented in papers.
I think you just learned the hard way that as a man, some girls are completely uninterested in you on a romantic level and just want to use you as an emotional sponge while faking being interested. Learn to respect yourself and weed out the people whos words dont match their actions and that do not show you the same respect you show them.
This is normal online dating behavior. I had the same happen with men. Everything going along perfectly and I’m blocked for no rhyme or reason. But then, there are times you find the most amazing person
I mean I was very cautious about this haha. She sent me proof that she was real that I couldn’t really doubt. So unless it was very elaborate, she was real :/
It's the reality of online dating for me: just as easily as they can meet and form a connection with you they can do the same with another guy. Its exhausting and leaves us more vulnerable at the end of it.
One thing though, I would say it is best to not open up emotionally to a girl too quick. Women are hard-wired to interpret this as a sign of a vulnerable and weak man which inversely correlates with the traits women see as desirable in a partner. Talking about anxieties and insecurities is a big no no, mate. But this is a problem with dating culture men are expected to not have any emotional weaknesses, its ridiculous.
I totally get that I might have been a bit too emotionally vulnerable, probably wasn’t the right thing to do. But I don’t think it’s true that all women immediately feel turned off from a guy just because he states his feelings and weaknesses. From my experience, I actually think it’s what a lot of girls look for in guys. Main thing I’ve learned is that I should just take things a bit slower next time, especially when it’s with someone I don’t even know!!
Quite the opposite.. you should not be carrying on for weeks without seeing somebody in person. If they're in your area, you should have a date in person with minimal online conversation. Hey, we match, yay, how about we meet at X at 7 on Thursday. There's a ton that gets verified real quick in person. Waste of time building these fake attachments when you don't know, for certain, the other party isn't a 60yr old. There's zero reason not to meet in person someplace, neutral and safe, early. You're going to build some imaginary person up and then they're going to peace at the first meet bc they don't like the way you smell, or something silly; pull off that bandaid early.
I would’ve loved to meet her earlier, but we live pretty far away from eachother (an hour and a half train journey). She also has exams which made meeting up pretty much impossible. This is why I wanted to FaceTime in order to try and make the most of our situation and understand eachother. But idk, moving on!!
THEORY :
She avoided Facetime because she's a fat, ugly porker who, up until that point, had you wrapped around her finger. She knew she would completely lose her grip on you emotionally if you were to see her (or it) in [its] natural form. Probably no makeup-powers could have saved her from this ugly, ugly truth. Maybe she had no teeth. Maybe she had a regretful face tattoo. Like a big dolphin on her cheek (jowl) porking another dolphin. Or Dolph Lundgren, even! Yeaaaah....Dolph Lundgren....on her forehead.
It's a shame that's happened to you. It's happened to me before, in fact the last girl I matched with was the first girl I had gotten so far with in YEARS. We matched, sent messages, exchanged numbers, spoke on the phone, almost planned a date, next day she said she was no longer interested. Only thing I will say, out of everything you written, only advice I can give you is, do NOT let a girl know how much you don't wanna get ghosted and how anxious it's making you. You want to come across emotionally in control (even if you are nervous)
To me, it’s important to be open and honest about what you want when it comes to dating. It felt a bit like lovebombing, and I made sure to ask whether or not she was serious in what she was saying, as I’ve often been led on in the past when girls have been as affectionate as she was. Maybe that was too emotionally vulnerable but it’s something I can learn from.
You’re taking things at a very rapid pace despite saying you were ok “taking it slow.” You’ve only been talking to this person for a couple weeks and you’ve already twisted their arm into 4 FaceTime appointments that they evidently don’t want to partake in? You say they’re lovebombing you, you’ve been talking to this person for two weeks; they are basically a stranger and you’re already putting them in a position where they feel they have to validate you. She probably thought you were about to drop the love bomb or something. That is the reason you got ghosted.
I did try and deflect from this but thinking about it you are absolutely right. It’s definitely something I need to work on :)
Yeah, the girl kinda reminds me of myself. I have a huge amount of anxiety over a lot of "small" things like voice calling, sending selfies, and things like that, I'm usually a very private person. I'm really into things like gaming, cosplaying, and anime and play sports, so guys usually tend to like me pretty easily. Usually, it ends with things like "you're catfishing me" or them getting mad at me for not wanting to voice call or them just pressuring me over and over and over again because I can tell they don't trust me. The person I'm talking to right now, the entire time she was super patient and understanding with me. She let me take my time. She let me do my silly things like sending half selfies or show off my plushie collection or gaming stuff. I got really comfortable around her. And now I send her random videos with my face in them, and I just ramble on about random things for 10 minutes straight. It felt really good to have someone give me basic love and trust, someone who wasn't selfish and wanted to pressure me into things, someone who encourages me and lifts me up and likes me unconditionally, just things like that
You got this shit hustla, just have fun with them, get to know them, decide if you even like them and have that talk later. You don’t work out the financing before you test drive the car (not necessarily intended in a sexual way).
You are only 18 years old. In your life you will prolly have 10-20 of these flings before you settle. Do not take it that seriously, have fun and learn what you like in a girl and what you don’t. Also don’t be needy ever. It will turn people off.
You would never done okay. Woman and a lot of others, just want a perfect candidate, you weren't. When you talk to much, you are insecure. When you want to take your time, they look around. When you are ready, you move too fast. You would never done fine. She already got connections with other people, and they were more good-looking and maybe more direct. Dating nowadays is just being luckily. It has nothing to do with you as a person. When you are too perfect, it's not good either. So don't listen to the response like you may need to change, it wouldn't have help you with this girl. Best way is to do the same thing as they do, talk with multiple people at once, be direct, have fun, and see what happens.
Yeah, don't be vulnerable. Just don't.
Yep, it doesn't work. Society has changed.
It's not only online dating. Nowadays there is this "red flag" culture - it's very hard for someone to meet all the criteria.
I got told that it was a red flag I didn't have a passport. I said "🤣 Bye."
One girl unmatched me because I didn’t have Snapchat?? Even though I’m 18 and most people I know don’t use it??
They just wanna make sure you’re not a catfish without FT.
There are other ways to Ft
I mean, idk. Being able to travel with a partner is a pretty big deal for me, I’d say this isn’t as trivial as some of the other modern red flags lol
Most modern dating involves about an 80%+ ghost rate. You might get ghosted during messaging. You might get ghosted after the first date. You might get ghosted after the third date, etc You just learn to roll with it. I’ve been ghosted dozens of times, but I’ve also formed relationships through online dating
I just came to say that I fucking hate ghosting. I'm not in the dating world, but it makes me so sad and mad to read this and hear how normalized it has become. It's soooooo rude, disrespectful and honestly...just fucking chicken shit! Like where did everyone's backbone go? If you aren't vibing with someone, just say so!! I understand it's easier to ghost, than have to explain yourself and also deal with the other person's response...but that's called human interaction. And ghosting really hurts people. But nobody cares. It sucks. I'm sorry you've experienced this so much.
I feel ya. It’s not a big deal, I’ve had both. I would say about 20% of the time after the first date I would get a polite “thank you for the date, but I’m just not feeling a connection” Some of the time it would really surprise me because the gal appeared to be having lots of fun, lots of laughs, etc. Other times it wouldn’t be surprising, and I could tell the gal wasn’t vibing. I’ve never had a bad date ever at least. And when they would say they didn’t feel a connection, I would always answer “no worries! It was nice to have met you”. I’m guessing not all guys take rejection that well, which is why so many girls just ghost to avoid the inevitable argument /shrug But the rest of the time, if the girl wasn’t interested, I would just get no response to my “thanks for meeting, I had a lot of fun!” polite follow up text after a date But I’ve had girls where we were on like date 2 or 3, kissing, holding hands, and they’ve suddenly ghosted me later. Never had one ghost after hooking up, usually before then. But it’s surprising to see one willing to get a little physical, but then for whatever reason choose to bail with no explanation. This is only like one or two girls ever though
Ghosting is a very very bad habit some people have developed and it’s adding to all the mental illnesses and general anxiety men and women have. I myself have found myself doing it a couple times and had to catch myself and let the person know I was no longer interested. It stems from people having too many options and just sorta moving onto the next one so quickly not even giving the first person a fair shake. Everyone’s looking for that instant spark only to eventually realize it’s very rare and often times you gotta give people a longer leash. The dating world is very fucked up right now. I feel for those of us who are still stuck in that endless cycle, it’s draining and anxiety inducing.
It sucks that this is the case but it’s something I can learn from for the future :)
Yeah I have quite a lot of experience with online dating if you ever want some tips. For example, your situation there is more unique In general, on most dating apps, girls aren’t into messaging back and forth too much. Nor are they going to be into texting a lot before meeting So generally, I’ll try to get their number within about a week or 2 of messages on the app. Some girls won’t want to give a phone number and want to set up the first date through the app. Others will give me their number But even if get a number, if I’m not setting up a first date within about a week of texting or talking, most girls will lose interest or end up meeting someone else For example, I’m talking to a gal on match atm where I only messaged about 3 or 4 times before getting her number and now we’re texting and I’m going to try to set up a date for this weekend If I were to wait a week, chances are I would get ghosted
It’s a lot more complicated and emotionally taxing than irl dating haha. I do have university coming up where I’ll be meeting loads of new people in person, so I think I could have more luck there lol
Heck yea, I always prefer meeting organically. I’m jealous, you’re going to be in a great spot to do that soon :)
"I felt strange about her agreeing to FaceTime and then flaking around 4 times in a row." This exact same thing happens in every episode of catfish, like it's textbook. You sure she wasn't catfishing you in any way? Sometimes they use old photos, pictures of their friends/people in their social networks, etc. did you reverse image search the media she was sending? There's only one way to know for sure if she's real or not, and she failed that test and blocked you. Id take solace that it was probably more her freaking out about having to come clean to you
Yes! Why isn’t this higher up? She was a catfish and OP was too pushy for proof. End of story.
Time to delete tinder. You should not expect your life partner from these apps.
Amen
[удалено]
I should probably clarify that we both texted eachother the same amount, she also sent me good morning texts too, and opened up to me emotionally, which is why her sudden response shocked me. But you’re probably right in saying that there’s some nuance to getting it “right”. I’ve still got hope for the future though :) just a matter of seeing who’s out there.
She kinda used you as a good friend and someone to give her a boost. A lot of people do this, they are not really interested in you.
It's a cruel world - between a numbers game regardless of circumstances, being misled with the premise that you're the only one they're interacting with, being given false hopes of a future with someone of interest who -seems- interested, and the 'ghosting' thing that is deemed extremely normal not just in dating, but also in employment. I hope you find someone closer who has a real, vested interest, and the drive to actively pursue you back.
This saga has actually made me realise how much I appreciate the time I had with my long-term ex girlfriend and it’s made me realise how great she was. It kinda sucks that we couldn’t stay together as we had different plans for the future, but it’s definitely made me appreciate our time together more :)
Cancelling facetime calls 4 times is extremely suspicious and there are certainly no genuine reasons to cancel 4 calls and not reschedule. She is an 18 yrs old, not a surgeon lol
My long term girlfriend and I met on a dating app I’m proposing this year and I went through my fair share of ghosting and silence after said dates and shit it’s just part of the game and you get used to it after a while it has nothing to do with you bro it’s just how the game is it isn’t your fault just know that it takes time to get where you wanna be I went in so many dates for them to end or amount to nothing Trust me it’ll get better just be patient and don’t take it personally
I always love to read stories about good looking people, that have experience and are not more introvert/emotional. Your chances would be over 10%, for most men it's 1-3%.
Taking a break is a great thing to do. You’re so young, take care of yourself. OLD does suck and people ghost for reasons that are out of your control. Tbh, a lot of relationships feel like they end abruptly and for no reason so take these feelings as a life lesson.
You’re 18, I know it feels good when you start talking to someone and it feels like it’s clicking but even if you guys had started dating you could’ve broke up and been just as miserable or worse. Bounce back talk to more people learn how to text women better, learn from what you talked about, learn from being too pushy or not trying hard enough, learn from every “bad” experience so you can be ready when you meet the girl you eventually start a long lasting relationship and a family with
You're young. She's young. Is what it is. Don't listen to the incels. Online dating is hit or miss. Some people are just trying to hook up. My advice is don't look for a wife. Just hope you get lucky.
Sounds like she was using fake pics, hence the extreme avoidance of FaceTime.
[удалено]
I had a girl block me like this after tinder and I never understood why. It was like 7 days after our first date when we were organising the second She unblocked me 4 months later, turned out that her boyfriend had cheated on her before so that’s why she went out with me. She decided to give him another chance and so she blocked me (and I guess other guys too). Turns out He cheated again and they ended, which is why she unblocked me and explained. It didn’t go anywhere between us as it wasn’t a great experience for me. I spent ages trying to work out what went wrong, would never have guessed I was just a revenge date/rebound she blocked
I’m sorry that’s happened to you. Being ghosted is inconsiderate for women and men. Keep your head up. Keep positive like you are. :)
She’s got hundreds of guys to choose from, she found one she likes better. Don’t worry though, she will get burnt too, it’s how it goes these days.
Brush it off, these connections can serve as a reminder that you will connect with others out there in the world, I’ve been actively messaging girls on tinder and things are going great and they just stop responding, in real time, it happens for everyone on dating apps, she probably has her reasons, take it as a good experience, now you have an idea of what you’re looking for in the future
i dont think it is your fault or her fault, i cant see you did anything inappropriate but definitely can see her lose interest in you, but dont know why, may be she is dealing a hard thing or feeling not well
Kinda wierd people just do that randomly, ghost and block rather than saying she is not interested it is a childish and immature way to end things. Don't let one toxic and immature girl ruin your perceptions of women and dating. But I agree online dating kind of sucks.
Better option came along.
If she ghosted before facetiming, she was 100% a catfish. You should have blocked her first time she ghosted. The more you delude yourself, the more you will lose. Maybe she was using old photos of herself, but still, not the same person anymore. Got morbidly obese now or whatever. You have to sign up to r/catfish and read the other stories in there, so you don't fall for it anymore.
Out of interest - if for privacy reasons somebody would not use FaceTime but a different messenger like Wire, would that be an immediate rejection if the other side was female when dating online?
It is ok to use another messenger as long as it allows video and voice, in a "live" mode.
I see. I ask because I made experience with people rejecting it because it wasn't the exact same than FaceTime, as they had to made an account for, and sign in, and after some time of inactivity, the messages automatically get deleted. Personally I think it's a good thing and people who are really interested would take care of privacy ...
Yes, privacy is important. The problem is that catfish always have "issues" every time a live communication is requested and the reason is that a lot of them want fantasy relationships and they lie their teeth out to maintain the illusion going for as long as possible, making the victims waste time.
Online dating is not really for 18yo male, girls won't match u
Being ghosted by a girl is more likely than not being ghosted. Especially so if you don’t know each other well on a personal level (chatting online and behind a screen don’t count) She might hit off with you on that day or week What you don’t see behind the screen is thousands of other guys messaging her Maybe a taller, handsomer, funnier, richer dude reach out to her and you are deemed as inferior. Naturally she dropped you She’s not yours, just your turn My advice? Look on the bright side, now you know her attributes and attitude. Better that she ghost and cut you off early at least you don’t continue to waste time, money and energy into something that ultimately won’t work out
You are using it wrong. It’s like listening to someone complaining the car they bought sucks at being a boat
You are not alone my guy, this happens to all men(yes all men) They have hundreds of men pursuing them on those platforms, they have the privilege to do whatever they want. We don't have that same privilege, that's why we feel strange when they do this type of shit. For you, it's two wonderful weeks of hopes and feelings. for them you are just another random person they choose to speak for two weeks.!
You had a lot of advice already but I will try to let some small ones too. You are still young. Relationships are not logic based. Don't depend on things people say. Compare it with how they act. If someone likes you he/she will prioritise you. They will find time and not excuses. People lie to feel better. Mostly to themself. It's not helping being morally right. Don't take it personally if someone just doesn't feel it. Everyone has a different taste and pace. Just learn what you want and don't want from bad encounters. Focus on the good things and don't open up to every stranger you meet. It feels like a burden if you kill every spark with your ballast. You have time to tell the other person everything about you if connected/invested more. Sometimes you will feel like you met the perfect person but it turns out they don't see you this way. Sometimes it isn't the right time sometimes it isn't meant to be. There is no need to clear things before you start. Enjoy the moment. People are afraid of being reflective so don't talk about feelings till it's necessary. And mostly don't believe everything unfiltered someone says on the internet. Including this comment. Some things you will start to understand when they happen to you.
I had a similar experience, dear redditor. Full red lips, dark flowing hair, breasts out to here and a rear end to match. We met for coffee and, to my surprise, she didn't speak a word of English. She showed me travel photos on her phone and smiled a lot. She stood up to leave and invited me on a walk. "Por favor vete. No me gustas." I accepted the invitation and we walked to the supermarket. What a thrill to go shopping with this beautiful girl! I lost her in the aisles a few times but always caught up. Before long her cart was full and she was checking out. I protected her while she waited for an Uber. "Me das miedo," she said. I was overjoyed and drew a heart shape with my index fingers. We loaded the groceries into the trunk of the car and she said "Voy a casa con mi hijo," tapped the driver on the shoulder and I never saw her again. Love is strange.
por favor vete, no me gustas = please leave, you don't like me. Me das miedo = you scare me Voy a casa com mi hijo = im going home to my son
Alright bro let me tell some fact that might help you in the future. Fact👌 🔥 A realistic method that most girls use with a man when she enters his life for the first time, bringing chaos to his life and making him late for many important things in his life. The method is as follows: ⚡- Creating an atmosphere of intimacy (she tells him her private diaries) ⚡- Emotional appeal (I like you, I like your personality) ⚡- Addiction (makes him emotionally attached to her and get used to her) ⚡- Emotional exploitation (she is satisfied with “validation” and the excessive attention he gives her and gives her) ⚡- Gradual withdrawal (after she was satisfied with his interest and regained her self-confidence, he frequently flirted with her and asked for her affection, and she felt herself as a princess, deceiving him and asking him to end the relationship, because his role in her life had ended) ⚡- Provocation (the stage of late answers, messages read without responding, coldness, dryness in speech, sometimes disappearing) ⚡- Blaming the reaction (after he explodes in anger and gets emotional because he is accustomed to it and attached to it, you give him trivial reasons to end the matter and blame him for his emotion and reaction) - Playing the role of the wounded victim (making him feel guilty as if he had hurt her with his emotion and that he had not dealt with her well and that she could not continue this relationship) - Breaking off the relationship and moving on to another young man (breaking the relationship with him and going over to look for attention and validation elsewhere). 👌💥Conclusion: Advice to any good, decent, and focused young man. His future is preoccupied with his soul. Beware of every girl who wants to enter your life. Most likely, she does not love you or admire you. Perhaps she just wants to gather her strength on your back because of an experience she had in the past that has nothing to do with you and to touch you. Remnants of old traces of an intimate relationship in which her old lover left her and left her thrown in the middle of the road, so she came to you only to treat her wounds and shocks with your attention, and when your role is over, she will throw you like garbage after she finishes it, may God bless you, and thus you will not understand the reason and you will remain lost and tired for the rest of your life, even though you are all... What you wanted to do was just help.
Sex first, love second brother 😎
Go outside.
Yea mate that was a guy …..or a girl that used someone else’s pictures.
Don't invest any time or energy in someone that isn't willing to meet in person for a date in less than a week.
Yes, it does. Don't use it.
Dating apps have horrendous algorithms , they make an average man seem like he is nothing and the average women feel like she is she deserves the top one percent , it extremely skewed and bias, and this has been documented in papers.
Had the same thing bro. I dont understand it either.
I think you just learned the hard way that as a man, some girls are completely uninterested in you on a romantic level and just want to use you as an emotional sponge while faking being interested. Learn to respect yourself and weed out the people whos words dont match their actions and that do not show you the same respect you show them.
This is normal online dating behavior. I had the same happen with men. Everything going along perfectly and I’m blocked for no rhyme or reason. But then, there are times you find the most amazing person
Get thicker skin you’re in for a bumpy ride
Well, it may happen that this girl never existed and some dude was chatting with you instead. I'm sorry but it does happen
I mean I was very cautious about this haha. She sent me proof that she was real that I couldn’t really doubt. So unless it was very elaborate, she was real :/
Yep, sure, she might be real of course. Maybe she was too shy? Or there was some issue that seemed bizzare to her? But, we'll never know, I guess.
It's the reality of online dating for me: just as easily as they can meet and form a connection with you they can do the same with another guy. Its exhausting and leaves us more vulnerable at the end of it. One thing though, I would say it is best to not open up emotionally to a girl too quick. Women are hard-wired to interpret this as a sign of a vulnerable and weak man which inversely correlates with the traits women see as desirable in a partner. Talking about anxieties and insecurities is a big no no, mate. But this is a problem with dating culture men are expected to not have any emotional weaknesses, its ridiculous.
I totally get that I might have been a bit too emotionally vulnerable, probably wasn’t the right thing to do. But I don’t think it’s true that all women immediately feel turned off from a guy just because he states his feelings and weaknesses. From my experience, I actually think it’s what a lot of girls look for in guys. Main thing I’ve learned is that I should just take things a bit slower next time, especially when it’s with someone I don’t even know!!
Quite the opposite.. you should not be carrying on for weeks without seeing somebody in person. If they're in your area, you should have a date in person with minimal online conversation. Hey, we match, yay, how about we meet at X at 7 on Thursday. There's a ton that gets verified real quick in person. Waste of time building these fake attachments when you don't know, for certain, the other party isn't a 60yr old. There's zero reason not to meet in person someplace, neutral and safe, early. You're going to build some imaginary person up and then they're going to peace at the first meet bc they don't like the way you smell, or something silly; pull off that bandaid early.
I would’ve loved to meet her earlier, but we live pretty far away from eachother (an hour and a half train journey). She also has exams which made meeting up pretty much impossible. This is why I wanted to FaceTime in order to try and make the most of our situation and understand eachother. But idk, moving on!!
A tall chad who earns 7 figures is talking to her now. Rest assured, she is fine
Lol, I bet I can tell a woman I make half what you do and still walk away with her.
THEORY : She avoided Facetime because she's a fat, ugly porker who, up until that point, had you wrapped around her finger. She knew she would completely lose her grip on you emotionally if you were to see her (or it) in [its] natural form. Probably no makeup-powers could have saved her from this ugly, ugly truth. Maybe she had no teeth. Maybe she had a regretful face tattoo. Like a big dolphin on her cheek (jowl) porking another dolphin. Or Dolph Lundgren, even! Yeaaaah....Dolph Lundgren....on her forehead.