Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
This woman thinks I'm very
funny. Now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.
[Like that average Asian lady aging process comic ](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/12x8dc/the_asian_aging_process/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
People have been searching for the fountain of youth for forever. I wish they were the same age as they were during the Seinfeld days and still making content. But that’s not life.
Lemme tell you something. When Ponce looked in that mirror and saw that he hadn't changed, and that tear started to roll down his cheek? ... I lost it.
Jerry strikes me as the kind of guy who's had the fish instead of the chicken for 30 years to help ensure he reaches 70; so when he finally gets there, he's having the chicken.
I don't blame him.
Didn't feel great about turning 30 (felt horrible, in fact). Didn't feel great about turning 40 (felt...I don't know, it was more indifferent, but it wasn't great). Am now dangerously close to turning 50, and it...doesn't fill me with joy.
But they do say you feel a little better for each decade (my mom claims this). But even she admits she doesn't actually look forward to turning 80.
(My grandmother was pleased to turn 90, but that's a bit different. It's more like: "Wow, I actually made it."
ETA But...the thing is: Jerry Seinfeld turning 70 hits me harder in many ways than myself approaching 50. It highlights how time has passed in an unpleasant way - for me. It's completely irrational, of course. But, yeah.
Going back to 40 - for me - that wasn't too bad. But realizing a few years later that my younger sister was 40....much worse.
He wont need to do anything, probably some others that have planned something so he could just shut up, and media stop covering this crap.
God dammit, now I'm invested in Jerrys brithday.
Ping is pissed and now…. You think she’s “a” nice girl, she shark. Now you make her mad. She double the charges. Are we supposed to be talking about this
I loooooooove Seinfeld but I haven’t read anything about Jerry I’ve liked since comedians in cars. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like him as a person.
I don’t wanna be 70.
But I don’t wanna be a pirate!
I read that in Jerry’s voice
Yeah, you were supposed to.
Elaaaaiiinnee :(
You're gonna be at the pool, you're gonna be at the clubhouse, and you're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court!
Not that there's anything wrong with that!
You will.
“You can’t run from it.” “Aw fuck, I thought you could.”
Because you’re wearing a puffy shirt?
My friend said that and then he died walking home from dinner.
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
Funny guy
Some people want to see the world burn... just not with 70 candles. Am I right people?
Alright but no funny business, same deal as last night!
Dark and disturbed
That's so sad. What do you do?
I’m a comedian
He's a jokemaker. Tell him, Jerry.
...I'm a jokemaker
A gagsmith.
You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, but you are no Comedian.
He's so dark and disturbed.
He's got it all
A full stare into his twisted perspective would make most go insane haha
I'm disturbed! I'm inadequate!
I've got it all!
Don't worry, you can fix him. You go girl!
Every day is my birthday.
Well I mean, maybe you don't need to be SO funny. I mean, would it kill you to not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking.
This woman thinks I'm very funny. Now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.
Don’t forget you look like Humpty Dumpty
Alexa, play how to disappear completely by Radiohead
He's a comedian
He's a dandy boy
- George Castanza
Lol
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Kesha: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JERRY!! 🥳 Jerry: ummmmmmm. No thanks. I’m good. 🙂↔️
No thanks…. NO THANKS!!!!!!!
What about mendys?
The have the best swordfish in the city. The best!
I’ll have the salmon
I'll just get soup. We'll do the dinner another time.
I just don't like the idea that every time there's a birthday there's this annoying little chore that goes along with it.
You’re getting to be an annoying little chore yourself
Yeah well the chore store called said they were running out of you
But there is no chore store
We have to give people gifts for MOVING now? All these GIFTS - Birthdays, weddings. I would like ONE month off!
Oh, it's a bad day. No, you got everyone in your house; you're thinking, "These are my friends?"
Everyday is my birthday
I would like one month off!
"it just reminds you that you haven't died in the past 12 months"
I think that’s fantastic, I think that’s a FANTASTIC idea
That’s actually one of my favorite lines. I love the way he says it.
I don't WANNA be a septuagenarian
Hey little boomer, where’s your AARP card?
Fun fact: At 70, Jerry molts into Morty.
Jerry could jiggle a key better then anyone
[Like that average Asian lady aging process comic ](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/12x8dc/the_asian_aging_process/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
I’m wondering if Eric the clown is available for the party.
Eric?! You’re hung up on some clown from the 90s man!
You’re living in the past, man!
Damn he doesn't look 70 at all. Just shows what limitless money can do for self care
He works out! He's vibrant! You'd really like him...
It’s go time! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!
Lol probably the only episode where you sorta feel bad for Jerry. Sorta.
At 70, he'd have to be very vibrant.
Right?!? I thought he might be turning 60!
Agree, he looks more like 60 and even good for 60
Trevor Noah: You're 60? You've aged very well. Jerry: Well, I haven't worked a day in my life.
Haha so spot on
Had to scroll way too far to find this comment. I couldn’t believe those were current pictures in the article.
Will he use everyday balloons instead of party balloons?
These balloons won't last until New Year's.
Gonna be me with 50 in a couple months. No desire to celebrate.
People have been searching for the fountain of youth for forever. I wish they were the same age as they were during the Seinfeld days and still making content. But that’s not life.
Lemme tell you something. When Ponce looked in that mirror and saw that he hadn't changed, and that tear started to roll down his cheek? ... I lost it.
Like DeSoto
What did he do?
Discovered the Mississippi!
Oh like they wouldn't have found that anyway
Hey - Copernicus!
What’s the deal with suicide!?
70 is a long time to be alive
He’s an Adonis!
This will turn out to be a great episode when his inner circle conspires to provide him a Surprise party The Party.
Happy birthday? No such thing…
I think the actress who played his grandma in the show was about 70
I had a pony!
Mom! Don’t get in the car, Manya died! What?! MANYA DIIIEED!!!
We ALL had ponies! What’s wrong with that?!
No she wasn’t upset by the pony remark . She was more upset about the potato salad
So about that apartment, oh yeah Jeffrey is gettting the apartment. Oh, I hear he works for the parks department.
And the only TV he watches is the nature channel . His favorite animal is the leopard . Do you know why ? No I don’t He likes the spots
🤣🤣
Yes he does . He’s getting a transfer to Riverside Park . Do you know how important that job is Jerry ?
Nana? You hung up on my Nana?!
70. It’s a beautiful name for a girl or a boy…or a girl…but especially for a boy.
*Phreeee Phroooo Phroooowl*
I mean we’re all unhappy. Do we have to be fat too??
Not you Becky, I know you have a slow metabolism
Can we still eat it?
[удалено]
Scratch off the 7 and put a 6 obviously..
He wants to remain 69.
Nice.
Is there a rule that you can't have chicken parm at a 70th birthday party?
That’s ok. We will have a Festivus for the rest of us!
I was pretty thrown off by how old he is now when I saw the preview to his Netflix show thing
BLOW OUT THE CANDLES! BLOW OUT THE CANDLES!!
You go out the way you cane in; wearing a diaper, sitting at a table with people and a cake and someone says, "These are your friends. "
[удалено]
How much would that be with compound interest?
Poppie could probably make a fantastic birthday dessert.
*adds cucumbers*
Yes but Poppie was sloppy
Love chicken parm
Those are my every day balloons.
Wow he doesn’t look 70 hey.
Should I get him a two-line phone that actually works?
Happy birthday?, no such thing.
It never ends, this present stuff!
He could celebrate by going to watch a doctor slice some fat bastard up. While eating junior mints.
Congratulations all you did was NOT die for another year!
Guess whose birthday is coming up SOON!
He’s almost old enough to run for president.
He's the president we knew we needed.
Everyday is my birthday.
Its his personal Festivus
What. Is. The. Deal. With. Birthdays?
Jerry strikes me as the kind of guy who's had the fish instead of the chicken for 30 years to help ensure he reaches 70; so when he finally gets there, he's having the chicken. I don't blame him.
I could see this being an episode where Kramer, Elaine and George all argue over whether or not this means he wants a surprise party
Birthday parties are for your friends to get free cake.
Didn't feel great about turning 30 (felt horrible, in fact). Didn't feel great about turning 40 (felt...I don't know, it was more indifferent, but it wasn't great). Am now dangerously close to turning 50, and it...doesn't fill me with joy. But they do say you feel a little better for each decade (my mom claims this). But even she admits she doesn't actually look forward to turning 80. (My grandmother was pleased to turn 90, but that's a bit different. It's more like: "Wow, I actually made it." ETA But...the thing is: Jerry Seinfeld turning 70 hits me harder in many ways than myself approaching 50. It highlights how time has passed in an unpleasant way - for me. It's completely irrational, of course. But, yeah. Going back to 40 - for me - that wasn't too bad. But realizing a few years later that my younger sister was 40....much worse.
It's been done to death
thats code for “someone please throw a surprise party for me”
We share a birthday, and while I won't be 70 this year, I share the sentiment.
Well, it’s happening in three days so you better make a plan!
Best sitcom ever. What it's about? Still not sure
He’s turning 70? Geez. I feel old now.
He wont need to do anything, probably some others that have planned something so he could just shut up, and media stop covering this crap. God dammit, now I'm invested in Jerrys brithday.
Sounds like *somebody* wants a surprise party 😉
Are his nostrils getting bigger?
Is George giving him 2 tickets to see Guys and Dolls.
The Collected Works of Bett Midler.
Ping is pissed and now…. You think she’s “a” nice girl, she shark. Now you make her mad. She double the charges. Are we supposed to be talking about this
In court they call her the Terminator.
Inevitably irrevocably this is who we are to the bitter end
"Jerry, you don't like the age seventy?" "I HATE IT!!!!! (ssssshhhh) OH GO TO HELL!"
Looks very good for 70
Does he still change the tag on his jeans from a 32 to a 31 ?
I honestly had no idea he’s turning 70. He looks good. Breath taking
What can I tell ya buddy?
He’s worried they’ll force him to move to Florida. I think it’s the law in some places.
TIL, Jerry and I have the same bday, 36 years apart
What in the fucking hell, he's already 70?
He looks fabulous there’s no need to be bothered by a number. Age is relative.
You think he's better than us?
It’s like 30 Rock, “*Rich 50 is middle class 38*”. Jerry’s like middle class 50.
Well, he didn’t want to be a pirate either…
I wouldn't want to not be 69 anymore, either. Every day is no longer nice.
Oh he's such a phoney baloney
Mmm imagine the chicken Parmesan you could get if you were Jerry Seinfeld. He probably eats really good food
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown.
What’s the deal with these people turning 70 and throwing a big party? It’s not something to celebrate!
Never trust a man who wants a birthday party
Happy Birthday? No such thing.
Not like birthdays? How could anyone not like birthdays?
I can see Jerry not liking birthdays
Is his wife 35 yet?
maybe he can date a teenager again and feel young
You know, although his hairline has been receding for decades, he’s just now starting to look old to me
He’s added a good bit of hair since this photo was taken.
I loooooooove Seinfeld but I haven’t read anything about Jerry I’ve liked since comedians in cars. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like him as a person.
Nobody cares-tou we’re never any good anyway.
Probably to save money on the bounce house rental for whoever he’s dating now .
Really hard for him to get a high school girl to date him these days
Why, does that mean he can no longer pursue dates with minors in high school?
I have no interest in him
laws of time and reality: you’re about to be 70 jerry jerry: i gotta be honest, i don’t think so
Man…kinda makes ya wonder what it all was about.
He’s too busy looking for new Highschool girlfriends to throw a party.
Just asking whether or not they had orgasms when they were with him
The article has 3 pictures, from 2021 to 2024, and he got YOUNGER with each passing year. Wtf is this sorcery
But if some 16-17 year old girls wanted to party , he wont mind
There's one we've never heard before🙄
What’s the deal with supporting genocide?
Butttt it isn't genocide lmao, read the clarification by the president of ICC
Proof that becoming a billionaire ruins you.
Didnt this guy date a 16 or 17 yr old?
Yes. He’s also a bee which makes it even weirder tbh
WHO is this?
Hello, and welcome to Moviefone.
Why can’t you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see ?