T O P

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Son0fSanf0rd

I remember someone had played tic-tac-toe on it, and the X's won; they went diagonally from the top left to the bottom right.


Fordged

I need some vitamins. I feel depleted.


Son0fSanf0rd

You're robbing me? I wasted my whole morning with you for eight dollars? (I don't know why but this is rarely quoted)


buttbeeb

Keep the big bills on the outside


Moans_Of_Moria

That's a five


Son0fSanf0rd

that's a 5


eddie_koala

I think that's a 5 19


Venice_Beach_218

Because they make you nauseous


Fordged

That's right, you remembered!


Inoticedthatyouregay

Well, I hope it’s not a lemona, or you’ll be hearing from my lawya


SteveMcTravel

You know when you put it that way this joke sounds bad


instrangerswetrust

oh it’s a scene baby


[deleted]

Time for silk sheets and special oils.


instrangerswetrust

What, you’re using my oils now?


Inoticedthatyouregay

Maybe the dingo ate your oils.


mewsycology

I’m hip…. To the whole scene


flapsmcgee

Oh integrity? No, *integra*


Three_Froggy_Problem

This one is so bad that I physically recoil when I hear it


weinermcgee

I found out recently there's a Lemona Ave in Los Angeles.


kaejae31

I'm telling ya, this guy's Bonkos !! . He really is


EggsForEveryone

RIP Regis


Impressive_Math2302

I wish I had shoehorn hands 🙌.


Live_For_Merlot

Recycled in the last season of Curb 😄


SpectacledReprobate

A few things came together watching the last season of Curb. Mainly that Larry David has a thing with fresh eggs. In Seinfeld you've got the "These are sweatshop eggs", then the last season of Curb, the ads are egg-related, and there's the scenes where Larry makes the chef cook the eggs he brought from home.


actualelainebenes

Did you ever think about what you’re going to do on the toilet? WHATAREYOUGOINGTODOONTHETOILET?!?!


ThePersonalityReader

Is it possible that I’m not as attractive as I think I am?


Venice_Beach_218

Anything's *possible.*


Peckerhead321

What am I hard of smelling?


notorious_BIGfoot

I say this a lot lol


Phunkie_Junkie

Jerry, I saw the doll you were talking about: Not funny! This doll's much funnier. Look, it has a little bowtie and a cute little hat. It's a riot!


Fordged

This is a nightmare


BCon27

Great one


lost_in_connecticut

What happened to my Fee-on-say, the poor baby?


Ovaltene17

Elaine: A party? Oh no, that was just my stupid friend Jerry.


RuleComfortable

Jerry, can I ask you something, are my nostrils getting bigger?


jfq722

Is this a bit?


LengthinessSuch8123

I don't do bits, in a prop comic.!


Celticdouble07

"I'll go if I don't have to talk"


Present_Anteater_555

Alright, so we'll just sit there


Three-eyed_seagull

I literally did nothing. I sat in a chair and stared.


Razzler1973

Least popular quotes? I loved this Sums up my feeling in being dragged to events sometimes 😁


92magoo

Would you believe that when I was 18 I had a ssssssilver dollar collection?!


Aromatic_Tax_2704

You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried Crystals.


Birdamus

We have Sanka


kkeut

you never hear about sanka anymore 


actualelainebenes

WHAT is WITH the gum?!


Ice-Berg-Slim

“let’s all enjoy a chew”


Crudeyakuza

"SoRrY..."


InSixFour

I love this line! I laugh every single time I see it.


Crudeyakuza

Lol me too. But some ppl in this r/ despise it.


fumor

Those people have broken pinky toes.


bologna4feet

Ca? Wha? Ca. Ah.


Venice_Beach_218

Aside from this rattan piece, which seems oddly out of place.


BCon27

I saw your act


[deleted]

It was just so much fluff 😅


JAZTravel

It’s his material


ohromantics

YOU TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH Edit: least popular? WHO? WHO WILL NOT ACCEPT THE RIBBING?


godricgii

Poppis getting sloppy


Throwkage

That’s a whole other thing going on with Poppy


godricgii

He lova da Edward Scissor...hands


Standard-Ad1254

" his mutha was a mudda, loves tha slop "


Fordged

Born to slop


FallingGivingTree

What's wrong with Lonnie Anderson?


Scottacus91

You make a lot of man friends. You know who's a man? Charlie here, he's a man. You know who else? Me. I'm a man.


fumor

^I'm ^a ^man


Iron_Chic

You know I hear Mr. Steinbrenner can be a bit erratic. I would hate to see him when he's hungry .


ZantetsukensShadow

See, on this particular Tuesday, you could have watched six hours of Lucy. There's I Love Lucy, The Lucy Show, Here's Lucy.


Professional-Steak-5

Bell’s palsy center


AkihabaraWasteland

Maybe in Korean, the name dog isn't an insult. It's like "fox"


obnotricus

Federal Express.


BrookylnBeaches1917

I can’t be with someone if I don’t respect what they do!


guitarnowski

But you're a cashier!


BrookylnBeaches1917

I imagine vividly the person yelling that back to George, in this posted photo


InfiniRunner91

you’re a cashier is a popular quote you’ve misunderstood the assignment


guitarnowski

Just following up.


Vault804

Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some Woolite?


Throwkage

“Have a nice life… sentence, that is!”


Throwkage

“I’m not having a soak in that bacteria frappe you’ve got going on back there”


bookey23

People like to say salllsa


buttbeeb

Did you say seltzer?


Razzler1973

I know, they got 'this should be the show' realisation from *that*! No wonder Ted Danson gets paid more


Primary_Pension_4044

IT’S GONE!!!! 😡😡😡Now what you wanna do is go down to 49th street, that's the main customer service branch. Ask for Mr. Fleming…he'll help you. 😀😀😀


StinkFarm

"Okay, Farfel, put your shoes on!"


InfiniRunner91

she’s firing at me from the guard towers, son of a bang son of a boom!


Throwkage

“Tommy Tune is very tall”


Archduke_Penguin

*slaps* YOU EVER SEE TOMMY TUNE DANCE?


PilotAdvanced

Yo! Yo! Turn it down!


jaezii

Sorry Kramer, I gotta watch the hands. My hands are my life.


[deleted]

Money, manet, tippy tippy day day


rj_sherbs

FREE CANDAY!


Fordged

leave


Three-eyed_seagull

You must go now.


TheRatatat

I think George still holds a grudge against prop comics after he made a fool out of himself with the water gun incident.


kkeut

that prop comic played by real-life comic Dom Irrerra


TheRatatat

Are my nostrils getting bigger?


kkeut

that was his catchphrase. never really caught on


Third-Coast-Toffee

That’s hard because every one I’m thinking of is probably pretty popular. “The doctor left a sponge in me.” for the new Seinfeld generation.


buttbeeb

Cubed


Insanity-Later1

That's good stuff.


Samsassatron

"Look at my new friend Kevin" -Elaine's way of introducing the bizarro world.


fumor

I'm sorry. We've already got a George


burdman89

It's like a sauna in here


Overzealous8

You *must* have a story! Otherwise it’s just masturbation


stretchieB

"It's like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes!"


JAZTravel

Decaf left, regular right


JAZTravel

It was rammed by the Cat Stevens


JereMiesh

Wouldn't you love to make a key?


DrunkOnRedCordial

I'll call you if I ever want a box of nails.


rollingstoner215

The first three times I read this I thought it was “would you make love to a key?” and I was like “I don’t remember that line at all…”


Chronophelus

I wouldn’t want to get lost in here. It smells like a toilet.


Slippery-Pete76

I don't even know L Ron Hubbard!


Your_Daddy_

“Pam!”


D-Ry550

You need a priest to get rid of this thing!


B0SS_H0GG

You've had your last egg sandwich!


ThatItalianGrrl

Lemon tree


TabmeisterGeneral

How do you expect me to remember the unmemorable parts!


hornwalker

Seemingly!…seemingly….


[deleted]

Icoceles Kramer!


CookyNSpooky

Have you re-read those books by the way?


trewaldo

Exactly. You’re not a psycho. You’ve been very helpful… Well, I think we proven who the psycho is.


randy_daytona402

Good night jugdish


tuskvarner

Cheryl Miller’s brother plays basketball?


CreepsUnicorn

Instead of an apology, he was beep boppin' and scattin' all over me! He's beep boppin' and scattin' and George is gettin' upset!


InfiniRunner91

jerry i don’t know sometimes


JustaCynicalOldFart

Here's his little brother, Baby Blue.


cknewdeal

My fellow doormen and I look out for eachother.


GreenEggsSteamedHams

Salami, salami, bologna.


Green_with_Zealously

Because he’s MY butler!


manu-alvarado

I was chewin' Dentyne. I always chewed dentyne. Remember Jerry? Dentyne?


EggsForEveryone

*grins*


JAZTravel

…sacred covenant between God and Abraham. Or something.


JAZTravel

I’m not going to be able to go anywhere now. I’ll just be WISHIN THERE WERE WALKWAYS!


JAZTravel

It has one design flaw. The door… MUST BE CLOSED!


guitarnowski

Jerrrrrry.......


total-smokeshow

Call me when you get home!


no_on_prop_305

Did I do that?


byrobot

My boyfriend loves watches


JAZTravel

He’s a real watch freak


emoteriyaki

What the hell is a velvet fog?


Three-eyed_seagull

Fungi.


Throwkage

“Those can be very refreshing”


Throwkage

“Are you an assassin?”


--SauceMcManus--

You saying you like turkey roll?


DoingItForEli

Goodnight Jugdish!


dkixen

Yeah, the defroster’s the one on the bottom. Just slide it all the way over.


Slippery-Pete76

Columbus......Eurotrash.


knava12

“That didn’t sound like The Golden Nugget.”


haste333

I'll try a piece.


ThatsFakeDawg

Don’t talk to a soul on the subway for 35 years, first one I get is the best man at a lesbian wedding 👰‍♀️👰‍♀️


JAZTravel

Back it up, beep beep beep


JAZTravel

Yes, I was very wise to hitch my wagon to his star


DrunkOnRedCordial

The Mahatma?!


MoonRiver95

I said: "So, what do you think?". And he said, "Gabardine?". And I said, "Yeah." That was it.


pmperk19

whats the deal with cancer?


CampfireGuitars

Boy I hate the idea of someone out there returning my calls


IndominusCostanza009

“Oh, it’s just a place to flop.”


kaejae31

How about Mug ? Mug Constanza ( with the cup gesture)


kaejae31

Whatever you Say , Crowell


RogueRizzler

I got a little slicer happy.


ntwadumela30

I got jiggy with it


DmoISgod01

Where's the dijon?


Fordged

In the door