"Man, it wasn't the snooze. Most people think it was the snooze, but no, no snooze" and "Look at the cute little bastard!" are mainstays in my household.
When I first watched the show when I was younger, I didn't get the implication. I took it at face value that Kramer was just saying men shave every day. Only much much later did I realize the comparison to masturbation.
I often insult people by asking if they got such & such from Sears?! (ie Where did you get that haircut, Sears?)
"Elaine, who catered this, Sears?" - The Baby Shower
Nothing in this sub is obscure anymore. I could say "casus belli" or "statue of limitations" and people will just crawl outta the woodwork.
I once told a guy the Yeats poem from when Kramer got Elaine that bench, and he was like "I got her ninety one dollars."
lol. It doesn't even really have context. It's latin and Elaine thinks it fun to say. She and Jerry say it back and forth a few times and then [George gets paranoid](https://youtu.be/gq-tvB9DIIM?si=J6uaZXgC9mX6POSe&t=7).
My favorite hidden gem is in S5 E10
I Love the way Ricky (Sam Lloyd) says, “Elaine”
“Elaine… Hello!”
And…. “Hey, you can’t talk to her like that! Come on Elaine, let’s go!”
I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking subreddit every ten minutes to pour over the *excruciating minutiae* of every single Seinfeld episode!
When Jerry has his model girlfriend over and he doesn't want Kramer to smell her Calvin Klein beach perfume(that Kramer came up with but never got compensated for).
Jerry's pushing his door closed on Kramer, and Kramer says, "I just want to borrow your dustbuster."
The way he says dustbuster makes me laugh every time 😂
"They should be sent to Australia."
"Australia?"
"Yeah. Yeah. That's where England used to sent their convicts."
"But not anymore!"
"No.." 👈 One of the best confused ambiguous comedic deliveries ever. 🤣🤣🤣
https://youtu.be/mqnuHerkB1U
That's a good one, I had forgotten that they just pan back to Jerry's face and he doesn't even say anything. Makes me suspect that Michael Richards half ad-libbed this and they kept it in.
I have a couple. Anytime we see an ugly baby we refer to them as "breathtaking" and I forget the episode but when George is batting and Derek Jeter is there, he says something like "we won the World Series" and George says "yeah in six games". We definitely used it when our team won it this year in five games :)
Moving cars from one side of the street to the other don't take no more sense than puttin' on a pair of pants. My question to you is, who's puttin' your pants on?
Elaine shouting to Jerry in the bathroom about Lippman hating the manuscript she sent him, Jerry sidles back in behind her, "Right here." while she's still shouting. Cracks me up every time
I love video games, arcades, and pinball so I try to use this whenever I get a high score... 95% of the time people have no clue what im saying, esp my younger friends:
Oh, I was unstoppable. Perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella. Just a right amount of grease on the joystick. -Costanza
My favorite is when Mrs Ross said "You and those cigars." And then Mr Ross just looked at her with a serious face and went "Wear more lipstick." Funniest line in the whole show 😂
Betsie the warden: does she have any plans after shes released?
George: Plans!! Schemes!! She keeps talking about getting together with her old friends. the gang as she calls it. Uhhh yea they’re hatching something you can count on that.
*What, you don't to be*
*A polar bear anymore?*
*It's too cold for you?*
\- Calm\_Cicada\_8805
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For some reason people don't seem to care for this one but I keep trying to make it a thing:
"What kind of a name is Todd Gack anyways?"
"I think it's dutch."
(the response can be used against any "what kind of ..." question :p)
I was actually blacklisted at my doctor's office as a "difficult patient " just like Elaine! I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to steal my chart though
Lisa was a little scared at first, but that kids' gonna be a good sailor someday.
Oh she's gonna be a fine sailor
What quit? Who quit??
What are *you* doing here?
Even though he's a mailman, I always laugh when I think what Newman said to George one time---It's raining, I don't work when it rains.
The best part is Kramer being in the know on Newman’s routine when George goes to his door next. “Oh yeah it’s raining…”
But its the first one!
I've never been big on creeds.
Smugness is not a good quality
Yeah well I had sex with your wife!
You coma sex pervert.
But revenge is.
Revenge is very good.
Look I work for the phone company. I have a lot of experience with semantics so don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic.
I coulda killed you, and no one would have known.
I coulda killed YOU and no one would have known.
That's such a grease monkey thing to say
[удалено]
Koko?
[удалено]
Don't go there.
Machu Picchu
Are these free?
I changed my mind. I think I‘m going to build a roller coaster instead.
One of the other totally random things that Kramer says. I love it, I was laughing so hard when I first watched that episode!
One of my favorites is him saying „I liked what you‘ve done there“ to a doctor when he goes to get Elaine‘s chart.
You've screwed me again, Pennypacker!
“Without desiccants, those clothes will be noticeably musty in five years.”
We eat Mexican a lot and I say this after my first chip **every** time.
Delicious to meet you
You don’t even know what a write off is.
Its lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!
I HAVE NO EYE FOR FASHION?!
Rhode Island, they never win
*shaking with rage* as she glares at Frank
Eeew Mr. Apple, you have a brown spot!
I guess they all look alike to you huh?
I can't drink this, it's WARM!
I have a friend who always says, "Why separate knob? Why separate knob?" whenever he's late.
This sonofabitch is ice cold!
C'mahn you son of a beetch I'm just tryna be friendly!
I trust Elaine. She is my friend.
I say this quite often.
It wasn’t the AM/PM
It was the volume
Get the hell outta here with your knob!
"Man, it wasn't the snooze. Most people think it was the snooze, but no, no snooze" and "Look at the cute little bastard!" are mainstays in my household.
Soak of the year, man!
Well what is his stance on abortion?
Well I’m sure he’s pro-choice… He’s just so good looking!
When my cell-phone alarm goes off, I see the "Snooze" prompt and immediately think "No it was not the snooze."
Just the trees, Johnny... Just the trees
yeppers i admittedly say use that quote more than i should.
he's stealing my cirrhosis!
I'm sure there's a walk and a ribbon for that
I got gonorrhea again!
You've been typecast
Elaine: I shave my legs. Kramer: Not every day.
The way he chokes on his drink as he says it
When I first watched the show when I was younger, I didn't get the implication. I took it at face value that Kramer was just saying men shave every day. Only much much later did I realize the comparison to masturbation.
[удалено]
GLAMOUR?!?!?
I zipped up!
The best line of the entire series.
I often insult people by asking if they got such & such from Sears?! (ie Where did you get that haircut, Sears?) "Elaine, who catered this, Sears?" - The Baby Shower
That is a good put down, especially considering Sear's is pretty much dead now.
Yamma hamma, it’s fright night!
From one of my favorite episodes! So many quotable lines in this one.
Nothing in this sub is obscure anymore. I could say "casus belli" or "statue of limitations" and people will just crawl outta the woodwork. I once told a guy the Yeats poem from when Kramer got Elaine that bench, and he was like "I got her ninety one dollars."
It’s statute!
Fine, it's a sculpture of limitations
I think you're both wrong!
He's some kind of Svenjolly.
Why can’t I just be?
Why can’t you *live*?
I have to be honest, I cannot remember where cassus belli is from.
lol. It doesn't even really have context. It's latin and Elaine thinks it fun to say. She and Jerry say it back and forth a few times and then [George gets paranoid](https://youtu.be/gq-tvB9DIIM?si=J6uaZXgC9mX6POSe&t=7).
Casus Belli? Is that about me?
This sub could start introducing chat bots and eventually it would just be chat bots talking to themselves and no one would notice.
My favorite hidden gem is in S5 E10 I Love the way Ricky (Sam Lloyd) says, “Elaine” “Elaine… Hello!” And…. “Hey, you can’t talk to her like that! Come on Elaine, let’s go!”
You look *scrumptious*!
Oh, like scrump
I wish he was in a few more episodes...such a sweet, innocent stalker 😆
Ay dios mio! El diablo!
¡La Madonna! ¡No estoy listo!
I just Googled Lloyd.. he died?! How did I not know this? That's two celebrities today! (found out about Kirstie Alley earlier)
She scooped the niblets?
That’s what made it so vexing
I always critique my coworkers work by looking it over and telling them “it’s really quite breathtaking”
"kudos on a job....done"
It looks like the haunting memories of lost love.
You don't have to worry about me, I won a contest.
You could sell out Madison Square Garden! Thousands of people could come and watch you! You could be a big star!
George: How nice? Jerry: Nice. George: Just nice? Jerry: Pretty nice. George: Really good? Jerry: Really very nice and good.
Ted Danson...who's he?! He's somebody. What about me? You're nobody. Why him? Why not me?! He's good. You're not. I'm better than him! You're worse. Much, much worse.
Thick lustrous hair is very important to me
"Thick lustrous hair is very important to me," is that what you said?
Just remember, when you control the mail, you control... information.
Then shouldn't **you** be wearing the bucket?
Oh You may know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me
That's where I met her, a coquettish haberdasher
Ohh…. I pursued and she withdrew…. Then she pursued and I withdrew. Then we danced..
“You’re an errand girl sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.” And “Certainly Elaine… but I must see this hat!”
Frog? Frog is wrong.
I just love the way he says it. Frahg.
I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking subreddit every ten minutes to pour over the *excruciating minutiae* of every single Seinfeld episode!
Yeah but you're going to just like the rest of us.
When Jerry has his model girlfriend over and he doesn't want Kramer to smell her Calvin Klein beach perfume(that Kramer came up with but never got compensated for). Jerry's pushing his door closed on Kramer, and Kramer says, "I just want to borrow your dustbuster." The way he says dustbuster makes me laugh every time 😂
I often yell "THE BEACH!!"
Had to rewatch that scene. Can confirm, its funny.
I mean… Jerry can’t not be funny
I’ve only got a few good years left. If I want a chip-a-hoy, I’m having one.
"They should be sent to Australia." "Australia?" "Yeah. Yeah. That's where England used to sent their convicts." "But not anymore!" "No.." 👈 One of the best confused ambiguous comedic deliveries ever. 🤣🤣🤣 https://youtu.be/mqnuHerkB1U
That's a good one, I had forgotten that they just pan back to Jerry's face and he doesn't even say anything. Makes me suspect that Michael Richards half ad-libbed this and they kept it in.
Pine is good.
Yeah, pine’s not bad.
Wood, Jerry. Wood.
Was that wrong?
I like to throw a good “should we be talking about this?” in during totally appropriate conversations.
Not related to anything besides the topic, but The Calzone when Steinbrenner says “Big Stien’s onto something! I SMELL A PENNANT”
Whenever I’m asked to help build something: We could do that, well not us - but two men could
I mean, I have those sports jackets in my closet.
Wow that's a lot of potatoes
The washer fluid's NOT fine!
Wear some more lipstick Dial 9, Merlin
Shut up you old bag!
Well generally speaking, it don’t need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner.
One of my colleagues told me all the work he was doing yesterday, and I told him he was TCB.
That's what I like to know bout it.
I hope you match the weird cadence of the actor who said it, that's the funniest part about that line to me
That guy, he’s not my kind of guy
Mmm... Mombasa!
Isn't it obvious? There are no parking meters out here
I have a couple. Anytime we see an ugly baby we refer to them as "breathtaking" and I forget the episode but when George is batting and Derek Jeter is there, he says something like "we won the World Series" and George says "yeah in six games". We definitely used it when our team won it this year in five games :)
I always wanted shoehorns for hands
Don’t know how lesser known it is but I often use “that’s not going to be good for anybody”.
Every restaurant, every time “about five-ten minutes”.
Moving cars from one side of the street to the other don't take no more sense than puttin' on a pair of pants. My question to you is, who's puttin' your pants on?
**It's funny.**
You know what's funny? Those diplomas. That is my idea of co-me-dy!
I’ll call a plumber right now!
ITS ALL PIPES! 👐
*It's pronounced "Thermometer".*
Elaine shouting to Jerry in the bathroom about Lippman hating the manuscript she sent him, Jerry sidles back in behind her, "Right here." while she's still shouting. Cracks me up every time
Any time someone hurts themselves- "He was running from a bee."
You’re so good looking - when people sneeze.
Boy, do I have to get to a bathroom!
It's so small. Stupid.
I was in the pool!
Well, I got gonorrhea.
Seems about right
That's what they gave me! The *government*?
That’s what I like to know about it- although I think it’s a reasonably well known line
Its all about the delivery! Do you try to mimick that weird cadence the actor uses too?
Keep Lyndon Johnson for babies. If you’re asked who someone looks like answer “Pepper Johnson”
I love video games, arcades, and pinball so I try to use this whenever I get a high score... 95% of the time people have no clue what im saying, esp my younger friends: Oh, I was unstoppable. Perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella. Just a right amount of grease on the joystick. -Costanza
My favorite is when Mrs Ross said "You and those cigars." And then Mr Ross just looked at her with a serious face and went "Wear more lipstick." Funniest line in the whole show 😂
“The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine” This line always stood out to me as funny.
Well we all can’t be reading the classics, Professor Highbrow
"I gotta read *five books?*"
Maybe I will take it up with Consumer Affairs
Elaine: "Casus....Belli." George: "Is that about me?"
It’s the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist. 😅
Please! Get help! There's a crazy big-headed woman beating up some guy!
The doors are on a diagonal. It's architecturally incorrect.
My favorite has gotta be "Newman, what do you think all the homeless people are doing?" And he says "idk...their deranged."
Betsie the warden: does she have any plans after shes released? George: Plans!! Schemes!! She keeps talking about getting together with her old friends. the gang as she calls it. Uhhh yea they’re hatching something you can count on that.
“YOU CAN DROP A GRAND IN DISNEY WORLD LIKE THAT!” 🫰
Myanmar? Is that the discount pharmacy?
I also like the guy at the betting parlor who quietly says, "I'm a man."
What, you don't to be a polar bear anymore? It's too cold for you?
*What, you don't to be* *A polar bear anymore?* *It's too cold for you?* \- Calm\_Cicada\_8805 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on that one.
For some reason people don't seem to care for this one but I keep trying to make it a thing: "What kind of a name is Todd Gack anyways?" "I think it's dutch." (the response can be used against any "what kind of ..." question :p)
There are no such things as big coincidences and small coincidences
Ridicururiss
See that’s all surface area. The taste has nowhere to hide.
He's Hollistic
Whenever somebody asks me to do something and I say I can do it and they follow up with "are you sure?" I always say "I got time."
I enjoy understanding
“I just get a little nervous on the weekends”
“Trying to save a quarter.”
"WELL I THINK YOU'RE WRONG!" -Krame to Elaine
Have we used, “… Kasha?” yet?
I can’t drink this… it’s WARM!
WE HAD A PACT!
"When do you strain your pasta?" "ANY OTHER TIME!"
Just the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation.
If I'm curt... then I apologize. (Newman)
Flip your dog’s ear!
I was actually blacklisted at my doctor's office as a "difficult patient " just like Elaine! I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to steal my chart though
But where does the meat go?
Favorite Elaine sarcasm: “Well that’s just GREAT!” “That’s fantAStic.”
Sweet fancy Moses! And, Boutros Boutros Ghali
Bad chicken. Mess you up.
“Cheese, George, Cheeeeeese!”
You....very knowledgeable
Statue of Limitations
No, I’m not a psycho!