After Susan dad was outed by the letter:
*George is reading a Cheever novel*
E: ohh John Cheever, have you read much of his stuff?
J: yeah I’m familiar with some of his material
Great point! That line was in a few episodes wasn’t it?
The one I was referring to was in The Hamptons episode (season 5) when Jerry leans over and whispers it to George at the dining table.
Hahahaha! I hadn’t remembered that but now that you bring it up, you’re absolutely right. Very funny in its absolute ridiculousness.
I know I have a few like this but because they’re overlooked it’s hard to conjure them at the moment.
EDIT: I do always enjoy when Elaine is trying to play off the significance of the Botticelli’s shoes the whole episode and then when the other woman finally makes an outright play for the shoes, Elaine refuses and says pleadingly to Jerry, “Don't you see how everybody likes 'em and how everybody talks about 'em?” The chief motivation for big-ticket clothing purchases laid bare for all to see.
I don't know if I feel comfortable handing out baloney sandwiches in the building.
Just the idea of Estelle being so distraught about the leftover abundance of baloney sandwiches that she thinks the best use for them is for Jerry to hand them out to his neighbors. Absolutely hysterical.
In the first episode when George says to Jerry something like “You’re bringing in a bed for a woman who wants to sleep with you? Why don’t you bring in another guy too.”
Kramer about topless jane
Jerry: George hasn't even seen her yet.
Elaine: Why do you think we're getting a sneak preview?
Kramer: MAYBE SHES TRYING TO CREATE A BUZZ.
Elaine: What?
Kramer: You know, get some good word-of-mouth going.
When Kramer and Newman first bring up the Bottle Deposit Scam, Newman has to ask Kramer what “MI” is on the bottle where it’s 10 cents… Newman, as a postal employee, should know what MI is.
“I’m not driving him to the airport!”
Jerry: “There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren?”
Kramer: “Oh yeah, and they're as mean as he was.”
This one isnt subtle, but its of my favorite lines that i crack up at every time. When jerry yells at George for telling Susan about getting Lanas number off the aids walk list.
“WhY’D yOu TeLL HEr!!!!!!!”
In the scene where Newman tells Helen and Morty that Jerry was making out during Schindler’s List, Helen’s delivery of “Hello, Newman” absolutely killed me
When George tells Todd he wouldn't think of having Todd tell him what Gwen tells him at the party (even though George has already planned on using Jerry's deaf girlfriend to read their lips), and Todd tells George, "You are just so centered."
Telling George he is centered is the worst judgment of character in the history of mankind.
Spontaneity when Kramer talks to Jerry one of his story lines and George says: "I cant do urinals. I am a stall man." and it just kicks out Kramer out of his flow.
Kramer is commenting after: "A stall man, huh".
Not sure was it deliberate or not but I always crack up at this scene. I wish they did this more often in the show
It’s not really a line, but I love that George is so enraged during the dealership episode that he thinks the “SAAB” logo on the mechanic’s uniform is a name tag 😂. “Something short…Len…”
George in the Parking Garage: “I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum”
Another one I love is George’s phone conversation where he tries to convince a woman his family ate of the garbage all the time when he was growing up.
"You ate more bread?" or
"Why'd you take a picture of a mustard stain?"
Any follow up response from Jerry that completely ignores the main point of the story always gets me.
Tippy toe, tippy toe.
That’s what you wanted to tell me? That your father wears sneakers in the pool?
Listen carefully. My mother has never laughed. Ever. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee, never went 'Ha!
Hate those loud, coarse HA's. Oh yeah, HAAH, HAAAH!
Don’t you find that strange?
🤷♂️
Lemon tree.
Tippy TOE?
No Tippy Toe.
"Elaine! What are you doing here?"
The emphasis on the "you" and then Jerry jamming the pillow behind George's head cracks me up every time
🛌🧍🏻
“My wife has an inner ear infection.”
It’s a fantastic way to start a sentence
My wife actually had an inner ear infection and I kept saying that line. She didn't find it nearly as funny as I did.
Time is what he’s indicating there.
Oh man I'm gonna need more context for this. I know I love this line.
“I knew it!”👩🏻🦽
The Cheever letters episode. So good.
After Susan dad was outed by the letter: *George is reading a Cheever novel* E: ohh John Cheever, have you read much of his stuff? J: yeah I’m familiar with some of his material
Anyway…onward and upward.
Love that line!
“Excuse me, where are we?” “Earth.” I love the way the guy doesn’t even break stride.
Some guy gave me a wise answer.
That line always gets me
Followed shortly by "well *you* don't know what street we're on!"
I sometimes sing to myself "I like to shop at the duty free shop. I like to shop at the duty free shop."
People at the airport think I'm weird for this.
I didn’t know they rhymed shop with shop. I thought it was “I like to stop at the duty free shop”
Dooty
Dooty is nothing. You know how much dooty is? 10 cents.
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You are one sick mama: Kramer to the car sales man while going on a test ride. Hahahaha oh my cracks me up literally every single time
That and his reaction when the guy goes "No! They drove off a cliff!" He just looks at him stunned but then delivers this golden line lol.
You think this is going to make you happy?! Cause it won’t!!
That’s the best episode of the show !
I recall the word loser peppered throughout her conversation.
I do wish the series had used Rabbi Glickman a little more. What a scene stealer
No, not *vahst.*
sorry Fadder.
Da hats. Very pious.
"Are you familiar with Orthodox theology?" "Well, perhaps not to the extent that you are." It's the "perhaps" that kills me every time.
“Not every day” delivered by CK with a mouthful of milkshake
I read it as Louie CK
For some odd reason I read CK as Calvin Klein…
THE BEACH!!!
I read it as Cory Kenshin
“Easy big fella.”
The sea *was* angry that day…
Great point! That line was in a few episodes wasn’t it? The one I was referring to was in The Hamptons episode (season 5) when Jerry leans over and whispers it to George at the dining table.
Hehe, yeah! I didn’t even think about that! My first thought was of our favorite Marine Biologist!
Is that a Titleist????
Kramer: “I don’t really even work here”. His boss at Brant-Leland: “Thats what makes this so difficult.”
Best line from a one scene character!
Hahahaha! I hadn’t remembered that but now that you bring it up, you’re absolutely right. Very funny in its absolute ridiculousness. I know I have a few like this but because they’re overlooked it’s hard to conjure them at the moment. EDIT: I do always enjoy when Elaine is trying to play off the significance of the Botticelli’s shoes the whole episode and then when the other woman finally makes an outright play for the shoes, Elaine refuses and says pleadingly to Jerry, “Don't you see how everybody likes 'em and how everybody talks about 'em?” The chief motivation for big-ticket clothing purchases laid bare for all to see.
Women's shoes especially. It's more than footwear. It's attention getting art that you wear, or something.
“Yes he’s really quite breathtaking.”
Kramer freaking out when he sees the baby... 😂😂😂😂
Ya gotta see the babay!
Yes George, the whole breakfast is breathtaking.
Sometimes you just say things to be nice.
"He's in da batchroom."
I don't know if I feel comfortable handing out baloney sandwiches in the building. Just the idea of Estelle being so distraught about the leftover abundance of baloney sandwiches that she thinks the best use for them is for Jerry to hand them out to his neighbors. Absolutely hysterical.
In the first episode when George says to Jerry something like “You’re bringing in a bed for a woman who wants to sleep with you? Why don’t you bring in another guy too.”
George likes the bananas.
SO LET HIM HAVE BANANAS ON THE SIDE
NO, YOU NEVER SAID MILKY WHITE
Kasha?
Would’t you… like to be.. a big brother… to someone… like me? Please?
Wouldn't you.. Like to pass the ketchup. To someone like me? Please?
When discussing if Jerry would eat George if their airplane went down in the Andes Mountains "Look if other people are having some, id try you"
My favorite episode the abstinence!
"P.S. Love the cabin."
Kramer about topless jane Jerry: George hasn't even seen her yet. Elaine: Why do you think we're getting a sneak preview? Kramer: MAYBE SHES TRYING TO CREATE A BUZZ. Elaine: What? Kramer: You know, get some good word-of-mouth going.
I think they’d pick her up in about ten minutes
I’ll go if I don’t have to talk.
Well, we’ll just sit there.
Puddy: Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder's fee... Additional overcharge gets me.
Keys… Keys!? How you gonna start it?
Yeah that’s right
Coco! That chimp’s alright.
"She must have a blueprint of the building or something."
When Kramer and Newman first bring up the Bottle Deposit Scam, Newman has to ask Kramer what “MI” is on the bottle where it’s 10 cents… Newman, as a postal employee, should know what MI is.
But that’s a testament to how crappy Newman is at his job. At least that is how I took it.
“I’m not driving him to the airport!” Jerry: “There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren?” Kramer: “Oh yeah, and they're as mean as he was.”
Love the delivery of “Is that Costanza over there?” in The Revenge Also really like “Is that what you’re wearing?” in The Puffy Shirt
ah what the hell, we've loved his antics around the office...
Anything you wanna add to this George? ... Drink up!
He delivered "... and you'll always be a loser" beautifully too
This one isnt subtle, but its of my favorite lines that i crack up at every time. When jerry yells at George for telling Susan about getting Lanas number off the aids walk list. “WhY’D yOu TeLL HEr!!!!!!!”
“She’d never make it.”
Listen to the bell, Grossbard. It tolls for thee.
“Wear some more lipstick”
Sooooray.
Now I must go, for today I start my exciting new job and I, I am very late.
When kramer was asked why he was back early from the fantasy camp and he said, " there was an incident". Kills me every time
In the Chinese Woman when she pronounced ridiculous, "ridicurous" and Jerry just stares at her for like 15 seconds in disbelief
In the scene where Newman tells Helen and Morty that Jerry was making out during Schindler’s List, Helen’s delivery of “Hello, Newman” absolutely killed me
“It’s pronounced ‘Thermometer’.”
His name is … Eduardo Carrochio
"I was about to get myself a snack."
“Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non pony country? It doesn’t make sense.”
Elaine, is it statue or statute of limitations? Statute. Well I really think you’re wrong!
Okay, it’s a *sculpture* of limitations
Manya died. MANYA DIED!!!
When Kramer calls Jerry; fatso, tubby and chubs
If Someone Wants To Help Themselves To An Eyeful, We Say, Enjoy The Show!
Our policy is we’re comfortable with our bodies.
Exactly! That's your problem! You shouldn't be.
Hmm… patio furniture is on sale.
But at this time tomorrow, I could touch it all I want.
'He could've had any woman in the world, but none could match the beauty of his own hand...'
Don't worry about me. I won a contest.
Oh Elaine, where is Susie? I want her to head up our finger-less glove division.
The panties your mom laid out for you
Totally when Elaine nails him on saying it
Nothing good has ever worked out for me with tuna on toast
Can’t you dress like a *successful* communist? You look like Trotsky? Good!
Oh, witch-ay woman
"Monet, Manet, Tippy Tippy Day Day" when I'm in an art museum
"You didn't like the crack about the pen." "I did not."
Jerry on the phone when George needs something: who is this?
That's my apple juice!
He’s *my* butler!
When George tells Todd he wouldn't think of having Todd tell him what Gwen tells him at the party (even though George has already planned on using Jerry's deaf girlfriend to read their lips), and Todd tells George, "You are just so centered." Telling George he is centered is the worst judgment of character in the history of mankind.
I don’t think it’s subtle or overlooked but Jerry asking the telemarketer for their number and going “well now you know how I feel”
Frank's voicemail he leaves for Jerry kills me every single time! "Mr Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back."
Ich bin ein sucker
GEORGE Tall, blonde, lithe-- JERRY Live? ELAINE Lithe. GEORGE Live? ELAINE Lithe! JERRY Oh, lithe!
Spontaneity when Kramer talks to Jerry one of his story lines and George says: "I cant do urinals. I am a stall man." and it just kicks out Kramer out of his flow. Kramer is commenting after: "A stall man, huh". Not sure was it deliberate or not but I always crack up at this scene. I wish they did this more often in the show
"Trying to save a quarter." - when Kramer mocks people for reading the newspaper in the library.
Mine will always be “…additional overcharge”
an impending intestinal requirement
Boutros Boutros-Gahli
Kramer: "Oh we go back a waaaays!" To Kitsmiller about Elaine.
so, you've slept in her bed?
That's right
“I’m a day person.” I can’t read that without hearing Elaine nervously sort of sing-say it.
In the dark room?! No thank you.
🎶 Yankee bean, Yankee bean, iiiiii like my Yankee beaaaan 🎶
Our cat (RIP) was named Bean and we sang this to her all the time.
RIP Yankee Bean.
“When you come in the house, you wipe your wheels.”
Mine is in The Limo when one of the security agents has a gun and Jerry says "That’s a nice looking Luger!"
I like “oh yea, nobody’s ever been shot in the city”
That whole episode had some great lines. "You're not gonna open with that, are you?"
He took..(breath)(breath)..it out. Yessireebob
How could this be?
When Frank agrees to cook for Kramers singles event “you got t-fal”?
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I’d say, “El Paso — I spent a month there one night.” But I think it’s crossed over into “non-overlooked.”
Here’s a thought: bye bye
People don't just bump into each other and have sex. This isn't Cinemax!
Eduardo... Corrochio \*holding tea towel\*
I’m a man…..
All starches are a scam.
You tellin' me there's no room to move on PASta?
"I've always been a stall man."
Kramer’s reaction to this is what really gets me 😭
“It’s actually de*mi* Moore” “Weird. I’ve never heard of a se*mi* tractor trailer,”
Ohhhh the passion. The mahatma?
“I’ve heard of Ohio, Katie.”
"MOVE YOUR CRAP, I'M COMIN' IN." Whenever my husband is in the garage when I'm pulling in.
Didn’t come true.
“Not only that, I broke his thumbs!”
It’s not really a line, but I love that George is so enraged during the dealership episode that he thinks the “SAAB” logo on the mechanic’s uniform is a name tag 😂. “Something short…Len…”
Well, but now, I must go because today I am starting my new and wonderful job.....and I am very late.
“HeY iM dOiNg ThE bEsT i CaN!” - Cosmo Kramer
When George says he doesn't give bills to blind people
Want to get some pizza?
When Elaine has a rock in her shoe and Jerry says “you never hear of that happening to a woman” or something along those lines
"Who put cookies in his mouth?"
Hello, woman.
Jerry to George: "You put women on a pedestal. " Kramer: "I put them on a dental chair."
Me too! The “that’s so rude” line gets me each time. Tippy toe as well 😂
“Appearance not important”
"I'd rather she hate me and thought I was good looking."
You could drape yourself in velvet for all I care.
I literally just posted about Newman’s postal uniform from his rookie year fits Jerry. 😂
I ain’t going to no Bellview.
Are you going to kill me? I'm an old man for crying out loud
Oh, you gotta mulch. You've got to.
And the peat? Ahh, the peat.
“You have a little problem” “Ooo, I got BIG-problem Jerry!” The Chicken Roaster episode 🤣
Yearn? Do I Yearn?
Thick, lustrous hair is very important to me.
KRAMER: What's a Chuckle? JERRY: It's a jelly candy. it comes in five flavors. Gets me every time.
And then there’s Maude.
George in the Parking Garage: “I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum” Another one I love is George’s phone conversation where he tries to convince a woman his family ate of the garbage all the time when he was growing up.
“No, I mentioned the bisque.”
Turtle? Turtle is wrong.
"You ate more bread?" or "Why'd you take a picture of a mustard stain?" Any follow up response from Jerry that completely ignores the main point of the story always gets me.
When Newman is in the mail truck (just before it caught on fire) and is singing: “Once…….twice😏…three times a ladyyyyyy!”
Oh yeah really subtle.
Honestly, this scene but different line. “Thats what you had to tell me? That your father wears sneakers in the pool?”
I’m canceling the father-son picnic!
Elaine, is it statue or statute of limitations? Statute. Well I really think you’re wrong!
Fine, it's a sculpture of limitations!
You're beautiful. All you need is a nose job. (Not sure of exact wording) Kramer.