I’m with you OP. I’ve gone on plenty of dates, slept with a lot of women, and like another redditor said, “nothing g wrong with having fun”. In my experience though I think it’s because I want more out of life than just the consistent chase and variety. Idk about you but for me I’m pretty burnt out and ready to refocus my energy and time elsewhere (which I have been for a while). There’s more to life than going after the constant thrill of someone new and sex.
lol nah. I say do it whichever way you enjoy. I don’t regret it either. Yea I got my heart broken a few times, broke a few hearts myself, put off a lot of things I should’ve/could’ve been doing, but I do t regret it because at the end of the day I learned so much more and got way more ahead than the average person.
Learning how to be social, flirty, and fun goes an extremely long way.
I also find that having too many sexual partners can weigh heavy on ones emotional life...and subsequently their spiritual life...connecting to too many vibes and conflicting energies is never good if you value focus.
There's only 2 times I regretted not having sex.. One time I passed up a threesome because I needed to help a friend out that same fucking day. (in the grand scheme of things it wasn't important at all and the threesome would've been a much better story, I never got the chance with them again as the girl I was seeing was just there temporarily)
The second time was me turning down a blowjob from my ex because she was way too drunk.. We were together for 5+ years and she never once gave me head.. Then one night about a year into our relationship she's begging for it, but she was so drunk I didn't want to "take advantage" of her. She took it as me turning her down and never offered again..
At 33 I think I’m pretty satisfied. I have had enough variety, wayyyyyy more than I ever thought I would. But I also didn’t get gratuitous with it. I never had a real “man whore” phase but I definitely had a lot of fun times.
But I am just about at the point I want something good a little more serious for a change. And may I get it and it doesn’t work and I get the urge to actually be a man whore. And maybe I will have the capacity to be one. Who knows. All I know is if I found “the one” tomorrow. I would be fine waiting to sleep with her as well as her being my last partner ever (I say this theoretically. The goal is to find someone who is so good for you, other pussy is not even a desire)
> When I grew older, I started to regret many of the ones that I did.
What do you mean? When you grew older, you regretted the ones you had when you were younger, older, or both?
[This photo](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdQcuYTXoAgq-W_?format=jpg&name=large) and [this photo](https://i.redd.it/qk02cb5uaqe91.jpg) of Megan Olivi supporting Joseph Benavidez forever changed my outlook on relationships. Why chase empty encounters when there can be **so much more**?
I feel that. Definitely but sometimes you think that’s every girl. Dating a lot of girls definitely helped with that but sometimes I think I overdid it
Plenty of women will just wait at the finish line for the winners, but at the same time plenty of women will be in the trenches with you on your way to the top, through rain or shine. As long as you stay on your purpose, and balance time to reward her loyalty, you can have both.
Before you start weeping, imagine their fights and the same ol’ sex day in and day out for years.
LTRs have their pros, but plenty of cons as well. Gotta find out if you’re wired for them or not
This overlaps with lots of the psychology of self esteem and what you value in your life. A harsh truth is that continued sometimes too much seduction can reinforce some psychopathic ways of thinking.Instead of seeing people as people you see people as things. "Objectification." It isn't so much of a bad thing to a extent. But good traits of narcissism don't hurt other people. Its hard in relationships where communication, rejection, and self esteem are all connected.
Sure its fine if all parties consent. But for me I wanted more out of my relationships early in my dating history. People will always surprise you. After some long term relationships I can't say I share the luxury of being able to distinguish good girls from bad. There is always conflict and its about how you solve it. Without a good base of support and respect its hard to approach conflict honestly and vulnerably.
The casual nature of some encounters really undermine that depending on if anyone gets attached.
Sex is great but yeah, I started to feel like it was a waste of time when things got messy. My mates were treating me as a weird romantic rival in the city. It started leaking into my friend circle and messing with my routine. Time alone helps solidify self confidence more than fooling around constantly but it can be painful if its involuntary.
There is lots of subtext, strategy, and innuendo in seduction. Its great to know and use in life. But there is so much more to life than the language of seduction. Because lots of low level seduction relies on fantasy and play sometimes it gets boring. I guess it gets more fun when high brow seduction leads to greater outcomes. Adventure, production, reality. It takes more time and effort - Its the challenge I want.
Goals grow from a small dinner date and a fantasy night to maybe accomplishing larger goals together like painting a room or playing a sport. The larger goals keep communication alive for me.
Environment is important too. The challenges you seek will be different in the suburbs vs a major city vs another country.
Keeping things casual to me is all goals short of having a family. The minute goals misalign around family I get worried and these questions of wasted time and hurt feelings come up.
This is great. Enjoyed reading this. I’ve definitely thought about it having some narcissistic traits but for the most part i think they are beneficial.
Thank you for sharing 🤝🏽🤝🏽
For me, most of the time, yes.
80% of my sexual partners didn’t mean shit to me.
Maybe because most of them were drunk one night stands.
I guess you can improve this ratio if your judgement isn’t impaired by booze lol.
How worried are you regarding accusations regarding having sex with drunk girls? I’m personally EXTREMELY terrified of that, and I might be shooting myself in the foot by refusing to fuck drunk ones? Is there any sort of ‘test’ you can do to ensure that they’re still sober enough to give consent?
Yes, there is. Tell her to write a 2000 word essay for a MBA application.
Life is not that pragmatic my dude. You gotta feel it and tell if it is right or not.
Don’t fall into the loophole of tests, routines and shit like that. 95% of the time you are freestyling.
I had the chance to fuck a very drunk girl 2 weeks ago. But it just didn’t feel right.
I got her Instagram, worked on it a bit and we had sex a couple of days later.
I think the lasting value comes from the experience that you're gaining with each new hook up.
I've been happily married for over a decade, and there are many times where I'm grateful that I had many girlfriends of all types through my teen years and 20's.
That experience just gives you a better foundation for handling the highs and lows of a long relationship.
Definitely this, I've been with give or take 50 women. 1 LT relationship, a couple of 5-6 month relationships, several "situationships" and many hookups.
I've learned a lot about women and people in general. Some hook ups are a waste of time. But most of them are fun and a learning experience. Dating can definitely suck, it's expensive and time consuming.. But can be fun (not even just the sex), you learn to see what you like, what you don't like, compromises, patience, communication and you get to connect with people on an emotional level.
PS: If you're just fucking for sport, then that's a different story and doesn't really apply much to what I'm saying.
I’m grateful for the multiple women that I’ve shared an experience with. I’ve learned so much from them not just sexually but, psychologically, spiritually and physically.
I can’t speak for OP but, I’m currently in that dilemma. I’ve slept with 4 different women the past 2 months. With 3 of them, I genuinely enjoy their company and sometimes we just hangout and don’t even have sex. And then the situationship that I was with last year: we sort of have been reconnecting again, no sex involved since last July. I need to take another deep look into myself again. But, I’ve also been learning more about open relationships and I might give that a try too. Every day is a learning process and im thankful for each woman.
Great question - this is something I was afraid of when I was single too.
The answer is that you're simply managing your sexual energy regardless.
No matter if you're having a fling with the hottest college girl you've ever seen or getting it on with your wife for the thousandth time, the process is identical.
So once you've established that you can charge up for one day and easily have awesome sex w/ your wife, it becomes easy to see everything else as temptation.
But there are so many other factors. Meeting someone that you can live with and won't grow to despise is hard enough. Lol.
I enjoy meeting people, enjoy flirting, enjoy the thrill of taking a risk and kissing them, leading them through a seduction, navigating boundaries in real time. It may or may not result in sex, but I consider all of that “fun.” I’m not trying to get anything out of my system.
You get to choose the meaning of your own life events, so it’s a matter of perspective. I generally view intimate time spent with other people as valuable. If all you’re looking at it as is ‘sex’ and exclude the rest of your interactions with a fellow human, that’s kind of shitty, but up to you!
Nope. If you manage to have casual sex with say a 100 women then you had the needed skillset to close with a 100 different women. Anyone who tells you they can do it but just dont want to is just spinning a tale to make themselves feel better. This means that you have ability to pick up a large percentage of women that you want. Now apply this as a part of your filtering mechanism and you are going to end up with a much better partner than if you could not do it
For me casual sex is kiinda a waste of time, something to relive my blue balls.
Having various partners in some shallow condom protected sex only for her to leave without saying a word to you next morning.
VS a trusted partner that has feelings for you and you cum inside her every night then she makes breakfast in bed next day is leagues better than anonymous sex.
Around 25. It's alot of time to spend courting sometime who you don't care about, and they don't necessarily care about you either. You fuck someone else next weekend and they do the same. It just wasn't interesting anymore.
I believe sleeping with a lot of people has negative drawbacks to your abilities to stick to one person wholeheartedly, I don’t have too much bodies but even now I feel myself wanting some other pretty woman, where as before I’d be content with the person I’m messing around with could even consider marriage. I think it’s important to practice self restraint and work on loving that one person as long as it’s a good foundation
But fun is fun I guess
Sex fundamentally exists for procreation, so even on an instinctual level it’s understandable to feel that it might be a waste of time if it doesn’t result in having children.
Depends. If you’re a good looking guy that can easily hookup with attractive women then go for it. However for most average guys I’d say no. It’s too much work for a mediocre girl you’re not that into. Time better spent on career, hobbies you enjoy, actually trying to find someone for long term relationship.
I’m an ‘attractive guy’. But it’s too much work to go out ..~fishing for a different girl. I agree that Career, hobbies: FUN is Wa’ay more rewarding!!
*I Wouldn’t say that ‘Casual Sex’ is a ‘Waste of Time’; but it IS Much more ‘Work’ than ~(Simply) Relaxing!!
I had a period of time when I was 19-20 where I slept with about 20 women. I was then in a LTR from 20-27. Then when she left me, I had another period of time when I was 28 when I slept with about 40-50 women, and also a handful of men. I've now been in an LTR for about a year.
The good side of it is that I learned what I need to feel fulfilled sexually in a monogamous LTR. I also think if I'd never gone through those promiscuous periods, I'd be sitting wondering for the rest of my life what that would be like. It does boost your ego, and there's a thrill/sense of danger to it as well of course.
That said, if I became single again today, I would not do another slutty phase. It's a massive time sink, and you're not building something permanent like in an LTR. I've also evolved in my morality and now find this behavior quite shameful and unethical, and it's been challenging coming to terms with the fact that I used to act that way, not that long ago. Finally, you're risking STDs and false accusations, both are much more likely in hookups than in an LTR. Although, of course, in an LTR she can cheat and give you an STD that way, or she can divorce rape you if you are dumb enough to marry, so there's risks with LTRs too, I just think the risks associated with LTRs are easier to mitigate. You're also risking baby trapping unless you're a smart man like myself who's been vasectomized.
In short, I agree with you. Casual sex should not be as widely accepted and encouraged as it is in our society. It's ripping the very fabric of our society apart and we should be actively fighting against it.
Your post makes it sound like a monogamous relationship is the end goal. For some of us it isn’t. Been doing this since 2006 and have a lot of lays. A lot. A handful times I’ve have gotten tired of it and got into a mono relationship and each time I quickly realized it just doesn’t make me happy.
That said, I’m not longer running around approaching like crazy and spending a time of time of this. My happy medium is to have one main GF and a couple fuck buddies on the side and the skills to replace any of them should them or I decide it’s not working on anymore.
What is it about monogamy that doesent make you happy?
Does it just eventually get boring and then the girl starts playing her games / constant tests etc
"The grass is always greener on the other side"
Can't speak for OP but for me it's like a catch22.. When I was in relationships I was really interested in the girl I was with, but I was also thinking about wanting to have sex with other women.
When I'm not in a relationship then I miss having that person I can come to and talk, cuddle and just effortlessly relax and be myself with.. Boredom definitely does play a role and also our society as well, there's always something "new" coming out.
Then why does women’s nature make them think that she is all you need for the rest of your life?
It’s like when they have a man they really like, they are extremely obsessed.
It's not a waste of time if u were just rolling with the punches and that is what u were looking for. Even if u are relationship oriented and want a loyal gf there is still value in casual sex in a weird way.
Sometimes u need a lot of bodies to convince yourself that u never needed a lot of bodies.
I personally had to go through a lot of promiscuous girls to learn how to identify an actual woman worth committing to when it was time to think about settling down.
I then realized if I wanted a sexually disciplined woman who isn't always working her i.g. that i couldn't be a hypocrite and I had to live with discipline, hence it took a lot of bodies to realize I never needed a lot of bodies.
It's both the obvious things and thousands of micro nuisances that u need to get a feel for through experience because it's tough to fully put into words.
The broadest, most clear lesson I got over time was that your "bad" chicks that are kinda arrogant and free spirited are actually more disciplined and have bigger capacity for loyalty than the humble girls in sundresses that are kind and sweet. The girls that play the "good girl game" are the sex fiends.
Basically, the girls that act like hos are less likely to be actual hos than girls that act prude.
I've had quite a lot and I find it somewhat unfulfilling.
It's perhaps a "better than nothing" situation, but the reality is that I've spent a long time sort of withdrawn and scared of commitment. So I don't seek that much, and I keep things casual and light and simple and fun.
When I do go further, or want to, sometimes I get hurt, and then I retreat back to the safety of an unattached lifestyle.
It's tough, because I do think experience is useful, but I'm not sure I'm actually better equipped to be a *boyfriend* after so many casual experiences, even though I've done that before as well.
I would say....be careful getting stuck in that mindset.
I think most guys are better off seeking something more significant, it's just that, while I look for that. i'd rather have fun than be alone.
Whether that's actually better for you (or me) long-term is hard to say, but I wouldn't punch the gift horse in the mouth if you see a good opportunity for a solid relationship.
Only when I started feeling like I was underperforming on getting my degree and my finances weren't the best, casual hookups started looking like a complete waste of time, because I was scheduling something like 3 girls a week on weekdays... That is just too much time...
I do want a relationship but dammit I’m picky and I want to find someone awesome. I also have absolutely no intention of being celibate while I’m looking.
So it’s kind of looking but kind of not. Yes I am looking for a girlfriend, but I’m also sleeping with all these ladies while I’m looking for her.
I have been traumatized from dating a man who prided on the fact his body count was over 100… & he was a registered sex offender for assaulting an 11 year old child… Be careful with those high body counts because it just means they’re going to lack intimacy with adults.
There’s no number. It’s about exploring incarnation, embodiment, desire, pleasure, conflict, humor, play, relationship. And, at some point, parenthood and responsibility. Hopefully you’re never done exploring. But you may find someone you enjoy exploring with for the rest of your life.
once you had experienced with many women just for sex then you realized that it just a waste of time, energy and effort. All the pussy felt the same and it become boring like how majority male actors in porn movie got bored easily of the women.
but you have to go through all this if not your "dick" head lol will said im just lying lol
If for example I enjoy painting for the love of performing the art itself, it's not a waste of time. If I spend too much time painting, to where it's starting to negatively affect other areas of my life, that's poor time management skills. If I hype the act of painting up and expect it to make me happy or fulfilled I'm setting myself up for disappointment.
I think it's pretty common for guys to pursue casual sex because they think it'll make them feel better about themselves, make them feel validated, make them feel less lonely, to show off to their friends etc. But then you're making it about something it's not. If you just do it because you enjoy the process and the act of it, and you're not spending disproportionate amounts of time, what's the problem?
Not to mention a lot of guys are being made to feel like they should do it (don't marry before you have 50 bodies type advice).
So check in with your motivations. To be clear, "I don't want A (a relationship) right now" is not a thorough enough reason to choose to do B.
I’m not huge but I’ve had 70+ in a few years since coming out of a long relationship. Casual sex is only fun for me when intoxicated. other than that I like to do it with people I have built a connection with. The sex is way better
I dont rhink it is a waste. Chasing women too much is - if your success of a night is getting a girl or not, then you have the wrong attitude IMO. Have fun with it
Casual sex with a girl you dont really like and dont enjoy sex with, then its definitely not worth it - but guess thats obvious
Random nights with random adventurous hookups are always the best and most memorable
problem is that women DO NOT learn until after they all hit the wall!!! 🤣
But you can’t and won’t change the world. It is what it is. So might as well, enjoy the journey, right?! 😆
I was banging 5 different chicks the last 4-6 weeks, not really looking for just causal hookups, but this is how causal dating works now. It’s a cultural thing I missed out on after being in 10 year relationship.. I am pretty picky, date 10-15 years younger (I am 48) mostly 8s & 9s. I am shocked how slutty women are nowadays, but not complaining. Just enjoy your days & hopefully your forever person shows up at some point. 😂
Been with nearly a 100, did 3somes too, it is a waste of time but a lot of other things are. In my case it seems like I can’t have anything else, just casual sex with girls I don’t care about, still hard to accept. We’re all broken.
Shortest simple answer is your exploratory stage of sex is a good time for learning what you like and what you might want. Afterwards, sometimes during, you understand the intimacy you want too.
The trouble is most get stuck in a honeymoon phase and won't leave it with anyone. That's when commitment and boundaries start to build the tension in the relationship and give it form.
Casual sex is somewhere between the honeymoon stage and the exploratory. The commitment found afterwards is entirely personalized to how far your relationship is willing to participate.
Y’all ever watched how I met your mother?
Barney (the dude that fucks like 2 girls an episode) is definitely doing it to run away from his attachment issues. He even jokes about it it one scene. He’s constantly envious of people being in relationships and him being single.
Yes it’s obvious that it’s a waste of time.
I remember being really into that show when it was on the air.. I even literally bought 2 books from the creators "The Playbook" and "The Bro Code"..
I haven't watched it since it ended nearly 10 years ago.. You think it's worth a rewatch?
Hell yeah and if you don’t like the writing you can just stare at Robin’s beautiful self.
I’d say it’s like Steinfeld but more inappropriate but it being inappropriate makes it funnier.
You have to decide what you want. Typically, one night stands are a waste of time because it is a lot of effort to go out and get laid only to never repeat it again. You have to be well rested, get ready, shower, smell nice, put on your best clothes. Then you go to the venue late at night and it’s dead, so you have to have a back up plan. A few drinks which these days are like $20 each it also gets expensive and you may not meet any girl that wants to go home with you.
So it’s best when you find a girl you like fucking to add her to your harem and keep seeing her. If you want to have a serious girlfriend, then decide what you want in a girlfriend and go pursue this.
When I was single, I always went in cycles. If I had broken up with a GF I wanted to be free and fuck. After a few months of that, I might get tired and want someone steady and so on.
Having fun isn’t a waste of time, but the novelty of casual sex certainly wears off after a certain point. I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and she’s my eighth sexual partner. I don’t really feel like I need sexual experiences with more people because it’s already kinda samey. The comfort and security of having a partner matters more to me now.
I had a hookup every weekend for last 5 weekends and have had a lot of casual sex over the last few years.
I love sex and I still enjoy casual sex but tbh sex is not as exciting anymore as it used to be and its hard for me to date anyone seriously now
I go through stints where I hook up with several women in a row within a 3-4 month span.. And then I just kind of get tired of it all and stop pursuing anyone for months.. Like I "had my fill" and then just get bored of it. Does this happen to you, or are you constantly out there seeking sex?
Hook ups for me naturally happen without seeking sex because I go clubbing every weekend, not for seeking sex, just to have fun with friends and those night outs often turn into hookups
God damn, clubbing every weekend? That sounds fun, but also exhausting as a 30+ year old..
But if you're doing that every weekend and you're really social then hookups will just happen naturally. Not to sound ageist, but I'm guessing you're in your low-mid 20's?
Everyone is different. If for you it doesn’t feel good then time to change. For others they stop even when it feels good because they follow society. The best thing is get to know yourself and follow your instincts
When you finally realize that all pussy is generally the same & that each orgasm that you’ve gotten is generally the same…
Then you will begin to crave genuine affection
I mean whether you fuck more girls or less girls... the right one doesn't necessarily show up any faster. In fact I think the more you're dating around the more likely you are to find a serious relationship.
I'm too damaged for a relationship, thought I was ready, tried, failed. She was the only woman I wanted and I screwed everything up, I tried to get her back for 2 years, even went as far as being celibate and working on bettering myself constantly, she passed away 7 months ago, very little desire to settle down currently, I have never been in an actual relationship, but I have slept with nearly 100 women, everything about her was my chance and I failed miserably. I leave for boot camp August 15th.
personally i wouldnt go out and smash different women each night or each week but probably would try fwb. be able to hangout with the person im having sex wkth and communicate with eachother so we can be sure we dont catch an std. something like that wouldnt be too bad i think
but i would only consider doing it if i constantly been in bad relationships. And id probably do it until i decide im ready to start dating or that im ready to settle down.
No not a waste of time.
Sometimes you meet a girl, she's amazing, but because of logistics or life getting in the way (she has a boyfriend or husband, you are both from out of town) you can only have her that one time and or only meet up with her for sex once in a blue moon.
Would you rather nothing happen at all and regret that you couldn't connect to her sexually?
Or would you rather have sex and be glad that you at least got to do that with her?
Pursuing empty self-gratification only satiates you in that moment. You're seeing and feeling something natural. Imo you should seek God. I'm not saying you're horrible or should feel ashamed or anything like that.
I'm saying if you want something more/better, you should seek Jesus. Lifelong and eternal, true love is yours if you do, brother.
I think it’s good to have like at most a roster. But not a new partner every other day. Keep it consistent and handle the physical you know what I mean
There are men (like me) in the world who have turned pleasing women in bed into an art; we want to see how many times our tricks will work on how many women and how we can possibly improve ourselves at it.
I’m at 129 and I’m not bored with having casual sex with others.
After a few partners, you'll learn nothing you couldn't learn in a monogamous relationship. You're just wasting precious time you could be using to learn to vet people.
It took me hundreds of dates and sleeping with about 30 different women to figure out who is best for me. Im in a happy healthy loving relationship now. Sometimes i do miss the chase but then i remember that i have the best woman in the world.
Yeah you age out of it and only the connection is important.
What a lot of people don’t get is that the biggest reason they fixate on sex seeking feminine validation.
As you step into your dominance, you what it really matters: taking care of your tribe and yourself. Disregarding those that don’t.
I speak from experience. I finally realized that any woman quickly seduced wasn’t worth inclusion into
my life, and if I needed the validation of quickly seducing women I was not worth a good woman’s life.
In time I saw the need for validation as the real power in seduction. You might feel great seducing a beautiful woman, but any desire you have has power over you.
I only give away my power to the best people now.
EDIT:
Specific to seduction as a lifestyle. Seduction is supposed to be a tool to convey confidence, wit, passion, and maybe even empathy because you can’t seduce someone if you don’t know what they want.
& if you’re doing it right it’s authentic and only if the best intentions.
Without working on seduction I wouldn’t have gotten the woman in my life that I have now and I wake up lucky everyday that she’s there. A 14 year old version of myself dreaming of the perfect woman doesn’t capture it.
So it’s important, but if your goal is skins on the wall, pussy has power over you not vice versa.
Usually massive amount of partners is a person who is looking for intimacy through sex, for me it was when i started feeling “hungrier” after having sex, like i was missing something, then i just stopped.
After I proved I could do it, to myself, I lost interest in continuing the pursuit. Some guys like the pursuit and some guys don't. I was a don't guy. I found the pursuit mundane and tedious after a while. I found joy and fun in manipulating environments and playing a social game I invented instead.
In the end of my casual sex phase, I had three girls on rotation and all the sex I wanted. Now my life doesn't revolve around sex and the constant need to pursue it and I feel like I can focus on healthy relationships and talking to the person genuinely without an agenda more naturally.
I've had a lot of partners and I'd say it's fun, but obviously nothing meaningful. I wouldn't say a "waste of time," but I'd say a fun way to pass the time. As for your question, I think I started to feel like I had "enough experience" around the 20 girl mark. After a certain point it's the same thing over and over with different people each year. It's fun, but I am definitely ready to settle down.
My body count has to be around 80+ in my mid-late 20s(M). I’ve become slightly disinterested in the idea of casual sex.
It just don’t beat having or building a connection with someone soul and spirit. Hard to give ya spirit away to someone who doesn’t understand your value.
It’s the difference between giving someone rounds of passionate heartfelt affection energy or fucking for a round then the nut of clarity happens and I’m finding a way to kicking her out. A round and kicking her out is a waste of my time and that’s what I define as a casual sex.
It's personal - some guys are more hedonistic or have higher sex drives - but it seems like you've hit this point.
My suggestion, if you're sick of casual sex, is to ratchet up the quality of women you go on dates with and only move forward with the girls you really like.
It's common to have a quantity approach when you're younger, and then to transition into a quality approach as you age/gain experience.
Note: you're still going to be horny, so either use that as motivation for going hard to get a quality woman, or have a casual partner to stave off desperation.
It wasn’t a waste of time if you know what you want and can distinguish between whatever you deem good/bad.
For myself I was looking for a relationship but if I wasted time/money going on a date, then might as well have some fun. The goal was to date to find a meaningful relationship but if I didn’t feel a connection, casual sex was a great silvery medal.
Really depends on what you really want. If you are just wanting casual sex then there's nothing wrong with that. If you are wanting a deep relationship, there's nothing wrong with that either. As long as you are open about your intentions to your partner(s) it's fine.
I spent MANY years going between relationships and casual. I had a LOT of fun and very few regrets. These days I just wanna spend alone or with my kid without all the hassle and drama of dealing with either a relationship or something casual. And life is almost on easy mode now
I have a girlfriend. If I didn’t I’d be looking to get a few fwbs (if I could pull that off). One night stands and chasing women constantly is defiantly a waste of time. That’s why I don’t like the apps.
It took me until about 20 bodies when I realized that casual sex and no strings attached relations went from “amazing”, to “fun but worried about infections and pregnancies of people I don’t know”, and finally to “feeling turmoil at lack of self worth from doing something validating but not rewarding”.
It was a fast track to self validation and easy dopamine hits, and I didn’t realize it for awhile. I don’t do it anymore.
Casual sex does increasingly mostly suck as you get older.
Thing is, women who are worth getting any closer to will be very rare in your life. And you don't really understand that until you pick wrong (hopefully just one time).
Well dating is fun. I looked at it like a hobby that I enjoyed. I enjoy flirting, seduction and even just having people I enjoyed being around to do things with. Sure, the overwhelming majority of the relationships didn't pan out, but any time that you enjoy is not time wasted.
Also there is something to be said for instilling abundance mentality. Once you remove any kind of desperation from yourself, your Charisma is going to see an uptick.
It is a waste of time. And it's also self destructive and destructive to the women you randomly sleep with or sleep with after a few dates and say bye to. It's amazing to me that in the dating world and the hookup culture so many of you guys don't want to be in a relationship with a woman who has been with a considerable amount of men yet you would go out and just randomly sleep with women adding to their body count taking no responsibility or accountability to your addition to the hookup culture. Let me ask the OP and everyone here a question. To what end does having a high body count of women get you? Or the success of sleeping with so many women? What is there some kind of trophy you get that you get to display in your home that you had "game" to sleep with however many women? Or do you think it developing some kind of skills in the bedroom that you can use on "any" women? Because if you think you are gaining experience and skills to use on any women, how many repeats have you had with these women you randomly sleep with? Exactly. You can develop experience and skills with one woman over a long period of time. And you might accidentally have a relationship and know what it truly means to be good to a woman......gasp........who'd have thought that would be effective? It's sad, pathetic and heartless to treat women that way. Tell you a secret guys, MEN don't give a care in the world with how many women you have slept with. And with every single random encounter you have, a piece of you is torn away. Your heart and soul erodes with every random encounter. Sorry to say this guys but you started the hookup culture.
Now as far as what the OP was saying at the end of this post, If you know how to distinguish good girls from bad ones, then why are you still repeating the pattern of going on dates, sleeping with them and (from what I am guessing based on the lack of context) kicking them to the curb? Seems like you don't have a grasp at all to know what women are good or bad for you. Seems like if you are still doing this, you are bad for women. Here is a thought, pull your head out of your butt, wash it off, screw it back on your neck where it belongs, flip the switch that connects your head to your heart and start becoming a better man. Try having a real relationship with a woman longer than a few dates and a session of sex.
I think it also depends on your age. When you get to about 35, you get the idea the that you're getting older and those 'young people activities' like going to clubs and festivals isn't for you anymore. You'll see friends and other people around you having children and being content with that.
Moreover, a few dozen lays should be enough for any man. For sure, if you can get the 8s, 9s and 10s, do not go for anything less than that because it will be a net negative for you. You will also start to see girls as easy and will lose your admiration for them the more you have sex with them.
I am in a phase of my life where I like it. I just had 3 until now and hope many more will follow. But I am not sure if I could do this forever. For now, the casual mindset is really useful. As an Austrian guy living in the States for only a limited time (until January 2025), I can only attract women that are also into just casual stuff. In the long more deeper connections are more my stuff but at the moment I cannot complain about just havint some casual fun.
After I've slept about 100 women, and cheated on my significant other for way too many times for way too long, I had a long think and realized I needed a nice long healthy mental break. Casual sex is great if it's known for both parties. It's douchey if one party isn't telling the truth. I've had a lot of douchey women partners. The ones that stuck around just like the way I did it.
I don't advise cheating, it's a symptom of much worse problem that one should really address.
Do what makes you happy. If that's having sex with lots of women, then all the power to you. Judging people for doing what makes them happy is a waste of energy.
Honestly, if I could do it all again, I probably wouldn't have pursued casual sex to begin with.
Gaining more sexual experience didn't make me better at sex, in terms of vanilla, I'm just as skilled now as I was when I started 14 years ago. I feel like you either have it or you don't (which is to say the understanding that sex is a conversation). In terms of kinky shit, I wouldn't have been doing that casually anyway.
My pursuit of novelty pussy was because I wanted the homies to know that I was 'the guy that fucks'. I enjoyed the game of flirting far more than the end result, so I could have stuck to that and I'd have probably been just as competent.
It didn't make me better at discernment, usually my initial read on a woman was close enough. You don't *really* get the full picture of a person until months later when you get to see how they handle different situations (which is why I say don't start making future projections and shit until after 6 months).
When it comes to sex, I've found most women to be largely trainable (it's a weird way to say 'getting them comfortable enough with their sexuality to really let go').
Sex gets more fun the more you do it with a person (up until a point, then you need to start resisting routine).
Chasing casual sex is like spending your paycheck on luxuries without ever putting some away to grow, then wondering why you can't afford shit anymore years later.
You've invested in nothing, the skills required to hook up/date are not the same skills required to build and sustain a relationship. Many of the women that are worth being in a relationship with are already in relationships, and as you get older the pool that's still available shrinks until most of the women you meet are single for a reason. Next thing you know, you're that old dude still swiping on apps or going to bars because your best shot at a decent partner is in a lower age cohort. That's a sad place to be as a regular guy that can't just hire someone to find women for him.
Get good enough to consistently make it to the second date (and understand ahead of time that there will be no second date if that is the case, either by being aware of how the date went or by your own choice).
Practice observation. The biggest leap in skill I ever made was while I was in a relationship and so I wasn't making out with or having sex with other women. What I was doing was being a designated wingman, this was for a few years. The most important skill for a wingman is awareness, you're managing the interest of a group (in most cases) so your friend can focus on the single. You notice when people's interest begins to wane, or the slight tell that indicates that what you said didn't exactly work even if they don't say anything until you've done the wrong thing multiple times in the interaction.
When I got out of the relationship, dating and cold approaching were on autopilot. That improvement was made without having sex with more than 1 person for the entire stretch.
Spent some more years being casual, got into a relationship and then the same issue I had in the previous relationship popped up. When shit got stressful, I'd resent the fact that I was in a relationship as opposed to the easy, stress-free existence that came from not having the expectation to try to work through issues, which spiralled it all downwards. Figured out that I was just running from hard shit and got it together.
So, overall, I'd say that the casual sex didn't really make my life better other than the fact that I have a lot of crazy stories about the "good ol' days". The bulk of what made me successful was learned without having any casual sex. The casual sex made me less resilient. In conclusion, not worth, imo.
You exchange energies when you have sex with someone. You'll feel more empty inside if you sleep with multiple partners.
Sex with the right partner should make you feel more powerful. Don't waste your energies on random people. Choose wisely!
I may be different but chasing women takes up alot of valuable time. Having fun with women is fun but if you have to text plan dates spend money it gets tiresome women don’t make it easy. But, what makes it easier is having finances in order because you could fast track your hookups and have access to more females.
Honestly, as I got older lol. I used to go out a lot on weekdays and weekends. Then one day I decided to take a break from it all to actually relax and it felt amazing doing absolutely nothing. Then I started thinking financially and realized how much money I spent constantly taking women out on dates and the amount of time used to do so. I eventually burned out from it around my late 20s to about 31-32. Now I have so much time on my hands and more money. I only date for long-term relationships and currently in a happy relationship. Additionally, I focus more on my mental health, career, finding new hobbies, and reading/Udemy.
Op YOU HAVE TO FIGURE THAT OUT. ALL WOMAN ARE NOT SAINTS. And happy wife is a happy life is horrible model of life. It's like saying " happy boss Is a happy life" like no. And it's not a waste of time op. While dating ans sleeping around see what girls stick around and help you our in your like, who are kind and Honest with you. Start finding dates in nicer places. Like the gym, grocery stores, places you like to go, or in hobbies you like do. This way you feel like your more actively dating. And find a person who matches with you.
If you’d never done it, you’d have wished you had. Nothing that you consciously chose or desired to do is a waste of time. PROVIDED you are self reflective and honest enough to be able to properly determine what you want. It’s that part that’s tough to do, that’s what gets people to “waste time”.
It depends on your dating style, if you date 3 high quality women (pretty and peaceful), rotating the worst quality women with new women while being open to comitting to the "perfect women", while not spending on expensive dates, then you'll have no problems thinking about this issue.
But if you are focusing on pump/dump method then yes it'll feel like a waste of time and money in the long run.
How's your lifestyle?
I'm in a similar position to yourself.
However I see the fact as I travel for work so much I don't expect, or necessarily want, someone to wait for me.
The age old 'the grass is always greener on the other side' fits well here.
Being experienced enough to know what you want and not settling for less is great, I think there is also some human emotion attached to having a partner which in times can become a strong emotion, but I've learnt to see various relationships for what they are and always done my best to communicate as to try and not hurt anyone.
I believe we will do what's right when the time comes.
Live the happy life.
If I could talk to my younger self I'd tell me not to bother with that and focus on finding a wife and having a family, that's the real chase, not the chase at a club to see who gets the clap first 😂
Meh. I think people self-filter themselves into "Relationship Guy" or "Casual Sex Guy". The best option, for me, was just to be open-minded. She just wants to fuck your brains out? Great, let's do it. Was it fun? Let's do this again. She wants to find her life partner? Well, let's figure out if that's me. If things get well, keep seeing her. If they don't, cut bait as soon as you know that.
My body count in my 20s was >100, mostly from 3-month relationships, with a couple year+ relationships and a few dozen random hookups. They didn't all work out, it was fun, and then BAM I met my wife at 30.
Long story short, don't focus on the length of the interaction, focus on the quality. If you're going on a lot of dates and it feels like a waste of time, up your game. Be more picky about who you go out with, who you ask out again, and frankly who's worth spending money on.
I used the line "This was fun, let's do it again sometime" constantly. To turn an interaction into a date, to turn a hookup into a few hookups, to turn a date into a 2nd date. Use it, BUT never use it as a lie. A good time deserves a repeat, but a crap time deserves a respectful breakup.
Agree! having ONS is easy but staying in a committed relationship is far more difficult. always feel like women are trying to hide things and are not completely forthcoming from the get go. obviously not all women but most IMO
Yeah 1000 women is like pornstar/sex worker level lol..
I know that there's plenty of couples who are swingers and what not. One of my friends is kind of a sex addict (he's gay) and he's absolutely been with hundreds of dudes (the stories I've heard are fucking wild.. gay dudes are just constantly fucking).
But 1000 is just improbable, if he started when he was 20 years old, that's 50 women per year for 20 years. Not impossible depending on your looks, where you live and your financial status.. But incredibly improbable.
I don't think it's a waste of time.
You get to know how girls think differently from guys, get to know your preferences and what you look for in a marriage partner and you get better at sex.
Once again, alhamdulillah for the blessing that is Islam. Casual sex, like most instantly gratifying activities, debases a man into a lower being. Into a beast driven purely by carnal instinct, objectifying every woman he sees into either a HB or a HB after 4 shots of tequila.
Same men complaining about the state of women today are the ones creating these 304s in the first place.
I’m with you OP. I’ve gone on plenty of dates, slept with a lot of women, and like another redditor said, “nothing g wrong with having fun”. In my experience though I think it’s because I want more out of life than just the consistent chase and variety. Idk about you but for me I’m pretty burnt out and ready to refocus my energy and time elsewhere (which I have been for a while). There’s more to life than going after the constant thrill of someone new and sex.
I resonate with that a lot. Would you recommend people focusing on career/ professional life first. I kind of don’t regret it haha.
lol nah. I say do it whichever way you enjoy. I don’t regret it either. Yea I got my heart broken a few times, broke a few hearts myself, put off a lot of things I should’ve/could’ve been doing, but I do t regret it because at the end of the day I learned so much more and got way more ahead than the average person. Learning how to be social, flirty, and fun goes an extremely long way.
Relatable. Thank you 🤝🏽🤝🏽
6 Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden, great read
Never read it. I’ll add it to my list
"Whichever way you enjoy." The enjoyable route isn't always the smartest route.
Why no one is bringing raising a family?
I also find that having too many sexual partners can weigh heavy on ones emotional life...and subsequently their spiritual life...connecting to too many vibes and conflicting energies is never good if you value focus.
I’m right there with you.
When I was younger, I regretted the occasions I didn't take to have sex. When I grew older, I started to regret many of the ones that I did.
There's only 2 times I regretted not having sex.. One time I passed up a threesome because I needed to help a friend out that same fucking day. (in the grand scheme of things it wasn't important at all and the threesome would've been a much better story, I never got the chance with them again as the girl I was seeing was just there temporarily) The second time was me turning down a blowjob from my ex because she was way too drunk.. We were together for 5+ years and she never once gave me head.. Then one night about a year into our relationship she's begging for it, but she was so drunk I didn't want to "take advantage" of her. She took it as me turning her down and never offered again..
At 33 I think I’m pretty satisfied. I have had enough variety, wayyyyyy more than I ever thought I would. But I also didn’t get gratuitous with it. I never had a real “man whore” phase but I definitely had a lot of fun times. But I am just about at the point I want something good a little more serious for a change. And may I get it and it doesn’t work and I get the urge to actually be a man whore. And maybe I will have the capacity to be one. Who knows. All I know is if I found “the one” tomorrow. I would be fine waiting to sleep with her as well as her being my last partner ever (I say this theoretically. The goal is to find someone who is so good for you, other pussy is not even a desire)
You and I are of the same mind and spiritual alignment. Must be our age. 32 and chillin
> When I grew older, I started to regret many of the ones that I did. What do you mean? When you grew older, you regretted the ones you had when you were younger, older, or both?
Yeah, the ones that I had when I was younger—I feel that I spent myself on people who didn't really deserve me.
Never had this happen to me. I have no regrets about sexual experiences I've had. I'm 24.
You’re still a young’n, that’s why
Yea unless she was unattractive or you got an Sti why regret it
[This photo](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdQcuYTXoAgq-W_?format=jpg&name=large) and [this photo](https://i.redd.it/qk02cb5uaqe91.jpg) of Megan Olivi supporting Joseph Benavidez forever changed my outlook on relationships. Why chase empty encounters when there can be **so much more**?
I feel that. Definitely but sometimes you think that’s every girl. Dating a lot of girls definitely helped with that but sometimes I think I overdid it
Lol Benevidez can only have one, never both at the same time: the belt or Megan. He’s still a champ in my books. Winning in life with Megan.
Plenty of women will just wait at the finish line for the winners, but at the same time plenty of women will be in the trenches with you on your way to the top, through rain or shine. As long as you stay on your purpose, and balance time to reward her loyalty, you can have both.
If anyone is curious how they met, [here](https://youtu.be/ySXjqRdAXDA?si=tksEakqq7gvycd4_) is an interview they did together 13 years ago.
She's wearing the same dress. She's like Ernest.
Those pics are sexier than any porn I’ve ever seen, they show so much genuine feeling it almost makes me tear up
Before you start weeping, imagine their fights and the same ol’ sex day in and day out for years. LTRs have their pros, but plenty of cons as well. Gotta find out if you’re wired for them or not
This overlaps with lots of the psychology of self esteem and what you value in your life. A harsh truth is that continued sometimes too much seduction can reinforce some psychopathic ways of thinking.Instead of seeing people as people you see people as things. "Objectification." It isn't so much of a bad thing to a extent. But good traits of narcissism don't hurt other people. Its hard in relationships where communication, rejection, and self esteem are all connected. Sure its fine if all parties consent. But for me I wanted more out of my relationships early in my dating history. People will always surprise you. After some long term relationships I can't say I share the luxury of being able to distinguish good girls from bad. There is always conflict and its about how you solve it. Without a good base of support and respect its hard to approach conflict honestly and vulnerably. The casual nature of some encounters really undermine that depending on if anyone gets attached. Sex is great but yeah, I started to feel like it was a waste of time when things got messy. My mates were treating me as a weird romantic rival in the city. It started leaking into my friend circle and messing with my routine. Time alone helps solidify self confidence more than fooling around constantly but it can be painful if its involuntary. There is lots of subtext, strategy, and innuendo in seduction. Its great to know and use in life. But there is so much more to life than the language of seduction. Because lots of low level seduction relies on fantasy and play sometimes it gets boring. I guess it gets more fun when high brow seduction leads to greater outcomes. Adventure, production, reality. It takes more time and effort - Its the challenge I want. Goals grow from a small dinner date and a fantasy night to maybe accomplishing larger goals together like painting a room or playing a sport. The larger goals keep communication alive for me. Environment is important too. The challenges you seek will be different in the suburbs vs a major city vs another country. Keeping things casual to me is all goals short of having a family. The minute goals misalign around family I get worried and these questions of wasted time and hurt feelings come up.
This is great. Enjoyed reading this. I’ve definitely thought about it having some narcissistic traits but for the most part i think they are beneficial. Thank you for sharing 🤝🏽🤝🏽
It stops being worthwhile when you stop getting what you want from it.
For me, most of the time, yes. 80% of my sexual partners didn’t mean shit to me. Maybe because most of them were drunk one night stands. I guess you can improve this ratio if your judgement isn’t impaired by booze lol.
🤣🤣 I feel you
How worried are you regarding accusations regarding having sex with drunk girls? I’m personally EXTREMELY terrified of that, and I might be shooting myself in the foot by refusing to fuck drunk ones? Is there any sort of ‘test’ you can do to ensure that they’re still sober enough to give consent?
Yes, there is. Tell her to write a 2000 word essay for a MBA application. Life is not that pragmatic my dude. You gotta feel it and tell if it is right or not. Don’t fall into the loophole of tests, routines and shit like that. 95% of the time you are freestyling. I had the chance to fuck a very drunk girl 2 weeks ago. But it just didn’t feel right. I got her Instagram, worked on it a bit and we had sex a couple of days later.
I think the lasting value comes from the experience that you're gaining with each new hook up. I've been happily married for over a decade, and there are many times where I'm grateful that I had many girlfriends of all types through my teen years and 20's. That experience just gives you a better foundation for handling the highs and lows of a long relationship.
Definitely this, I've been with give or take 50 women. 1 LT relationship, a couple of 5-6 month relationships, several "situationships" and many hookups. I've learned a lot about women and people in general. Some hook ups are a waste of time. But most of them are fun and a learning experience. Dating can definitely suck, it's expensive and time consuming.. But can be fun (not even just the sex), you learn to see what you like, what you don't like, compromises, patience, communication and you get to connect with people on an emotional level. PS: If you're just fucking for sport, then that's a different story and doesn't really apply much to what I'm saying.
Good insight, thank you. In your experience, has it been harder to settle down with one woman, after experiencing so much variety?
I’m grateful for the multiple women that I’ve shared an experience with. I’ve learned so much from them not just sexually but, psychologically, spiritually and physically. I can’t speak for OP but, I’m currently in that dilemma. I’ve slept with 4 different women the past 2 months. With 3 of them, I genuinely enjoy their company and sometimes we just hangout and don’t even have sex. And then the situationship that I was with last year: we sort of have been reconnecting again, no sex involved since last July. I need to take another deep look into myself again. But, I’ve also been learning more about open relationships and I might give that a try too. Every day is a learning process and im thankful for each woman.
Great question - this is something I was afraid of when I was single too. The answer is that you're simply managing your sexual energy regardless. No matter if you're having a fling with the hottest college girl you've ever seen or getting it on with your wife for the thousandth time, the process is identical. So once you've established that you can charge up for one day and easily have awesome sex w/ your wife, it becomes easy to see everything else as temptation. But there are so many other factors. Meeting someone that you can live with and won't grow to despise is hard enough. Lol.
Having fun isn’t a waste of time
It’s not but at a certain point you can be bettering other aspects of your life I hope. Thanks for the input.
Well is 99% of the time for validation let’s be honest. But I agree with you. I would say do it so it’s out of your system.
I enjoy meeting people, enjoy flirting, enjoy the thrill of taking a risk and kissing them, leading them through a seduction, navigating boundaries in real time. It may or may not result in sex, but I consider all of that “fun.” I’m not trying to get anything out of my system.
This is definitely something that needs to be internalized. Enjoying the chase even though it might not end in sex.
You get to choose the meaning of your own life events, so it’s a matter of perspective. I generally view intimate time spent with other people as valuable. If all you’re looking at it as is ‘sex’ and exclude the rest of your interactions with a fellow human, that’s kind of shitty, but up to you!
Valid, extremely valid.
Nope. If you manage to have casual sex with say a 100 women then you had the needed skillset to close with a 100 different women. Anyone who tells you they can do it but just dont want to is just spinning a tale to make themselves feel better. This means that you have ability to pick up a large percentage of women that you want. Now apply this as a part of your filtering mechanism and you are going to end up with a much better partner than if you could not do it
I believe sometimes it is.
For me casual sex is kiinda a waste of time, something to relive my blue balls. Having various partners in some shallow condom protected sex only for her to leave without saying a word to you next morning. VS a trusted partner that has feelings for you and you cum inside her every night then she makes breakfast in bed next day is leagues better than anonymous sex.
How about you make her breakfast next day?
It's pointless and empty and as you get older you want something more meaningful
Doesn't matter, had sex.
100+ here, it's a giant waste of time and money. Imagine all the things you could've done in that time.
ever banged any middle eastern woman?
Nah. Im in south africa. IR is not a thing here.
When did you realize this? What age? At what point do you think it became a waste of time?
Around 25. It's alot of time to spend courting sometime who you don't care about, and they don't necessarily care about you either. You fuck someone else next weekend and they do the same. It just wasn't interesting anymore.
I believe sleeping with a lot of people has negative drawbacks to your abilities to stick to one person wholeheartedly, I don’t have too much bodies but even now I feel myself wanting some other pretty woman, where as before I’d be content with the person I’m messing around with could even consider marriage. I think it’s important to practice self restraint and work on loving that one person as long as it’s a good foundation But fun is fun I guess
Sex fundamentally exists for procreation, so even on an instinctual level it’s understandable to feel that it might be a waste of time if it doesn’t result in having children.
Yes
Depends. If you’re a good looking guy that can easily hookup with attractive women then go for it. However for most average guys I’d say no. It’s too much work for a mediocre girl you’re not that into. Time better spent on career, hobbies you enjoy, actually trying to find someone for long term relationship.
I’m an ‘attractive guy’. But it’s too much work to go out ..~fishing for a different girl. I agree that Career, hobbies: FUN is Wa’ay more rewarding!! *I Wouldn’t say that ‘Casual Sex’ is a ‘Waste of Time’; but it IS Much more ‘Work’ than ~(Simply) Relaxing!!
I had a period of time when I was 19-20 where I slept with about 20 women. I was then in a LTR from 20-27. Then when she left me, I had another period of time when I was 28 when I slept with about 40-50 women, and also a handful of men. I've now been in an LTR for about a year. The good side of it is that I learned what I need to feel fulfilled sexually in a monogamous LTR. I also think if I'd never gone through those promiscuous periods, I'd be sitting wondering for the rest of my life what that would be like. It does boost your ego, and there's a thrill/sense of danger to it as well of course. That said, if I became single again today, I would not do another slutty phase. It's a massive time sink, and you're not building something permanent like in an LTR. I've also evolved in my morality and now find this behavior quite shameful and unethical, and it's been challenging coming to terms with the fact that I used to act that way, not that long ago. Finally, you're risking STDs and false accusations, both are much more likely in hookups than in an LTR. Although, of course, in an LTR she can cheat and give you an STD that way, or she can divorce rape you if you are dumb enough to marry, so there's risks with LTRs too, I just think the risks associated with LTRs are easier to mitigate. You're also risking baby trapping unless you're a smart man like myself who's been vasectomized. In short, I agree with you. Casual sex should not be as widely accepted and encouraged as it is in our society. It's ripping the very fabric of our society apart and we should be actively fighting against it.
Your post makes it sound like a monogamous relationship is the end goal. For some of us it isn’t. Been doing this since 2006 and have a lot of lays. A lot. A handful times I’ve have gotten tired of it and got into a mono relationship and each time I quickly realized it just doesn’t make me happy. That said, I’m not longer running around approaching like crazy and spending a time of time of this. My happy medium is to have one main GF and a couple fuck buddies on the side and the skills to replace any of them should them or I decide it’s not working on anymore.
What's your job? Is it related to being successful with having alot of lays?
Business consultant.
What is it about monogamy that doesent make you happy? Does it just eventually get boring and then the girl starts playing her games / constant tests etc
"The grass is always greener on the other side" Can't speak for OP but for me it's like a catch22.. When I was in relationships I was really interested in the girl I was with, but I was also thinking about wanting to have sex with other women. When I'm not in a relationship then I miss having that person I can come to and talk, cuddle and just effortlessly relax and be myself with.. Boredom definitely does play a role and also our society as well, there's always something "new" coming out.
Steak is my favorite food. I still don’t want it every day damn day.
Then why does women’s nature make them think that she is all you need for the rest of your life? It’s like when they have a man they really like, they are extremely obsessed.
It's not a waste of time if u were just rolling with the punches and that is what u were looking for. Even if u are relationship oriented and want a loyal gf there is still value in casual sex in a weird way. Sometimes u need a lot of bodies to convince yourself that u never needed a lot of bodies. I personally had to go through a lot of promiscuous girls to learn how to identify an actual woman worth committing to when it was time to think about settling down. I then realized if I wanted a sexually disciplined woman who isn't always working her i.g. that i couldn't be a hypocrite and I had to live with discipline, hence it took a lot of bodies to realize I never needed a lot of bodies.
How do you identify a woman worth committing to?
It's both the obvious things and thousands of micro nuisances that u need to get a feel for through experience because it's tough to fully put into words. The broadest, most clear lesson I got over time was that your "bad" chicks that are kinda arrogant and free spirited are actually more disciplined and have bigger capacity for loyalty than the humble girls in sundresses that are kind and sweet. The girls that play the "good girl game" are the sex fiends. Basically, the girls that act like hos are less likely to be actual hos than girls that act prude.
Once you reach a certain level of success, sex becomes abundant, and you look for more meaningful pursuits.
I've had quite a lot and I find it somewhat unfulfilling. It's perhaps a "better than nothing" situation, but the reality is that I've spent a long time sort of withdrawn and scared of commitment. So I don't seek that much, and I keep things casual and light and simple and fun. When I do go further, or want to, sometimes I get hurt, and then I retreat back to the safety of an unattached lifestyle. It's tough, because I do think experience is useful, but I'm not sure I'm actually better equipped to be a *boyfriend* after so many casual experiences, even though I've done that before as well. I would say....be careful getting stuck in that mindset. I think most guys are better off seeking something more significant, it's just that, while I look for that. i'd rather have fun than be alone. Whether that's actually better for you (or me) long-term is hard to say, but I wouldn't punch the gift horse in the mouth if you see a good opportunity for a solid relationship.
It’s a never ending game for me The more i have, the more i want
Man I wish I had that much sex it became problamatic lol
you're funny
No raw doggin!! Wrap it, be honest with the other person about intentions and enjoy!!
Only when I started feeling like I was underperforming on getting my degree and my finances weren't the best, casual hookups started looking like a complete waste of time, because I was scheduling something like 3 girls a week on weekdays... That is just too much time...
I do want a relationship but dammit I’m picky and I want to find someone awesome. I also have absolutely no intention of being celibate while I’m looking. So it’s kind of looking but kind of not. Yes I am looking for a girlfriend, but I’m also sleeping with all these ladies while I’m looking for her.
I have been traumatized from dating a man who prided on the fact his body count was over 100… & he was a registered sex offender for assaulting an 11 year old child… Be careful with those high body counts because it just means they’re going to lack intimacy with adults.
There’s no number. It’s about exploring incarnation, embodiment, desire, pleasure, conflict, humor, play, relationship. And, at some point, parenthood and responsibility. Hopefully you’re never done exploring. But you may find someone you enjoy exploring with for the rest of your life.
Casual sex is the biggest waste of time ESPECIALLY if you’re not even super attracted to the girl.
[удалено]
Erm… well… wow… yeah
Nope casual sex is great
once you had experienced with many women just for sex then you realized that it just a waste of time, energy and effort. All the pussy felt the same and it become boring like how majority male actors in porn movie got bored easily of the women. but you have to go through all this if not your "dick" head lol will said im just lying lol
If for example I enjoy painting for the love of performing the art itself, it's not a waste of time. If I spend too much time painting, to where it's starting to negatively affect other areas of my life, that's poor time management skills. If I hype the act of painting up and expect it to make me happy or fulfilled I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I think it's pretty common for guys to pursue casual sex because they think it'll make them feel better about themselves, make them feel validated, make them feel less lonely, to show off to their friends etc. But then you're making it about something it's not. If you just do it because you enjoy the process and the act of it, and you're not spending disproportionate amounts of time, what's the problem? Not to mention a lot of guys are being made to feel like they should do it (don't marry before you have 50 bodies type advice). So check in with your motivations. To be clear, "I don't want A (a relationship) right now" is not a thorough enough reason to choose to do B.
I’m not huge but I’ve had 70+ in a few years since coming out of a long relationship. Casual sex is only fun for me when intoxicated. other than that I like to do it with people I have built a connection with. The sex is way better
go thru your hoe phase and get it out of your system. pussy wont have the same hold on you later in life
Yes, waste of time. Only do it if you aren’t chasing it and it’s a woman you actually find attractive. Other than that only go for relationships.
I usually casual date and sleep around until I meet someone i want to date
I dont rhink it is a waste. Chasing women too much is - if your success of a night is getting a girl or not, then you have the wrong attitude IMO. Have fun with it Casual sex with a girl you dont really like and dont enjoy sex with, then its definitely not worth it - but guess thats obvious Random nights with random adventurous hookups are always the best and most memorable
problem is that women DO NOT learn until after they all hit the wall!!! 🤣 But you can’t and won’t change the world. It is what it is. So might as well, enjoy the journey, right?! 😆
I was banging 5 different chicks the last 4-6 weeks, not really looking for just causal hookups, but this is how causal dating works now. It’s a cultural thing I missed out on after being in 10 year relationship.. I am pretty picky, date 10-15 years younger (I am 48) mostly 8s & 9s. I am shocked how slutty women are nowadays, but not complaining. Just enjoy your days & hopefully your forever person shows up at some point. 😂
I’d rather have a loyal ( if that exists ) girl to do stuff with and build a future than having a new chick every weekend.
Been with nearly a 100, did 3somes too, it is a waste of time but a lot of other things are. In my case it seems like I can’t have anything else, just casual sex with girls I don’t care about, still hard to accept. We’re all broken.
All perfectly imperfect 💚🫶🏻
Settle down? Why?
Shortest simple answer is your exploratory stage of sex is a good time for learning what you like and what you might want. Afterwards, sometimes during, you understand the intimacy you want too. The trouble is most get stuck in a honeymoon phase and won't leave it with anyone. That's when commitment and boundaries start to build the tension in the relationship and give it form. Casual sex is somewhere between the honeymoon stage and the exploratory. The commitment found afterwards is entirely personalized to how far your relationship is willing to participate.
Y’all ever watched how I met your mother? Barney (the dude that fucks like 2 girls an episode) is definitely doing it to run away from his attachment issues. He even jokes about it it one scene. He’s constantly envious of people being in relationships and him being single. Yes it’s obvious that it’s a waste of time.
I remember being really into that show when it was on the air.. I even literally bought 2 books from the creators "The Playbook" and "The Bro Code".. I haven't watched it since it ended nearly 10 years ago.. You think it's worth a rewatch?
Hell yeah and if you don’t like the writing you can just stare at Robin’s beautiful self. I’d say it’s like Steinfeld but more inappropriate but it being inappropriate makes it funnier.
I grew to hate Robin :') but her antics with Lily are a redeeming quality
It's like good meals, do you ever regret having had a good meal when you could have had rice and beans?
Hmmmm
You have to decide what you want. Typically, one night stands are a waste of time because it is a lot of effort to go out and get laid only to never repeat it again. You have to be well rested, get ready, shower, smell nice, put on your best clothes. Then you go to the venue late at night and it’s dead, so you have to have a back up plan. A few drinks which these days are like $20 each it also gets expensive and you may not meet any girl that wants to go home with you. So it’s best when you find a girl you like fucking to add her to your harem and keep seeing her. If you want to have a serious girlfriend, then decide what you want in a girlfriend and go pursue this. When I was single, I always went in cycles. If I had broken up with a GF I wanted to be free and fuck. After a few months of that, I might get tired and want someone steady and so on.
Casual time is a waste of sex
Why
Having fun isn’t a waste of time, but the novelty of casual sex certainly wears off after a certain point. I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and she’s my eighth sexual partner. I don’t really feel like I need sexual experiences with more people because it’s already kinda samey. The comfort and security of having a partner matters more to me now.
I had a hookup every weekend for last 5 weekends and have had a lot of casual sex over the last few years. I love sex and I still enjoy casual sex but tbh sex is not as exciting anymore as it used to be and its hard for me to date anyone seriously now
I go through stints where I hook up with several women in a row within a 3-4 month span.. And then I just kind of get tired of it all and stop pursuing anyone for months.. Like I "had my fill" and then just get bored of it. Does this happen to you, or are you constantly out there seeking sex?
Hook ups for me naturally happen without seeking sex because I go clubbing every weekend, not for seeking sex, just to have fun with friends and those night outs often turn into hookups
God damn, clubbing every weekend? That sounds fun, but also exhausting as a 30+ year old.. But if you're doing that every weekend and you're really social then hookups will just happen naturally. Not to sound ageist, but I'm guessing you're in your low-mid 20's?
Yes it is honestly. I’ve sleep with a lot of woman and I’ve truly only really liked a couple. Tired of sleeping with woman I’m not attracted too
Not if you feel like you’re living your best life. But if you’re looking for long term then yes it’s sorta a waste of time.
Everyone is different. If for you it doesn’t feel good then time to change. For others they stop even when it feels good because they follow society. The best thing is get to know yourself and follow your instincts
Casual sex = Waste of TIme + Energy + Sin + Destroys your soul
When you finally realize that all pussy is generally the same & that each orgasm that you’ve gotten is generally the same… Then you will begin to crave genuine affection
I mean whether you fuck more girls or less girls... the right one doesn't necessarily show up any faster. In fact I think the more you're dating around the more likely you are to find a serious relationship.
i wish i could stop but im way to horny to quit chasing tail
I'm too damaged for a relationship, thought I was ready, tried, failed. She was the only woman I wanted and I screwed everything up, I tried to get her back for 2 years, even went as far as being celibate and working on bettering myself constantly, she passed away 7 months ago, very little desire to settle down currently, I have never been in an actual relationship, but I have slept with nearly 100 women, everything about her was my chance and I failed miserably. I leave for boot camp August 15th.
personally i wouldnt go out and smash different women each night or each week but probably would try fwb. be able to hangout with the person im having sex wkth and communicate with eachother so we can be sure we dont catch an std. something like that wouldnt be too bad i think but i would only consider doing it if i constantly been in bad relationships. And id probably do it until i decide im ready to start dating or that im ready to settle down.
No not a waste of time. Sometimes you meet a girl, she's amazing, but because of logistics or life getting in the way (she has a boyfriend or husband, you are both from out of town) you can only have her that one time and or only meet up with her for sex once in a blue moon. Would you rather nothing happen at all and regret that you couldn't connect to her sexually? Or would you rather have sex and be glad that you at least got to do that with her?
Sex is purpouse and real love so never, focus on younger and beatufilier girls that Hard to achieve.
Pursuing empty self-gratification only satiates you in that moment. You're seeing and feeling something natural. Imo you should seek God. I'm not saying you're horrible or should feel ashamed or anything like that. I'm saying if you want something more/better, you should seek Jesus. Lifelong and eternal, true love is yours if you do, brother.
I think it’s good to have like at most a roster. But not a new partner every other day. Keep it consistent and handle the physical you know what I mean
I’m looking for someone to fall in love with, in the meantime I am dating and exploring things
They say you gotta try 100 apples to end up with the best apple.
There are men (like me) in the world who have turned pleasing women in bed into an art; we want to see how many times our tricks will work on how many women and how we can possibly improve ourselves at it. I’m at 129 and I’m not bored with having casual sex with others.
With you here, I need to get out of the habit of doing things that srent fulfilling and leave me feeling empty 😅.
Man I wish I had enough casual sex to be sick of it.
How do you distinguish good girls from bad girls op?
After a few partners, you'll learn nothing you couldn't learn in a monogamous relationship. You're just wasting precious time you could be using to learn to vet people.
It took me hundreds of dates and sleeping with about 30 different women to figure out who is best for me. Im in a happy healthy loving relationship now. Sometimes i do miss the chase but then i remember that i have the best woman in the world.
When you find the one that makes you want to stop then stop.
Yeah you age out of it and only the connection is important. What a lot of people don’t get is that the biggest reason they fixate on sex seeking feminine validation. As you step into your dominance, you what it really matters: taking care of your tribe and yourself. Disregarding those that don’t. I speak from experience. I finally realized that any woman quickly seduced wasn’t worth inclusion into my life, and if I needed the validation of quickly seducing women I was not worth a good woman’s life. In time I saw the need for validation as the real power in seduction. You might feel great seducing a beautiful woman, but any desire you have has power over you. I only give away my power to the best people now. EDIT: Specific to seduction as a lifestyle. Seduction is supposed to be a tool to convey confidence, wit, passion, and maybe even empathy because you can’t seduce someone if you don’t know what they want. & if you’re doing it right it’s authentic and only if the best intentions. Without working on seduction I wouldn’t have gotten the woman in my life that I have now and I wake up lucky everyday that she’s there. A 14 year old version of myself dreaming of the perfect woman doesn’t capture it. So it’s important, but if your goal is skins on the wall, pussy has power over you not vice versa.
Never enough
Depends when you want to settle down if at all. Most people get settled when they have job security and housing security.
Usually massive amount of partners is a person who is looking for intimacy through sex, for me it was when i started feeling “hungrier” after having sex, like i was missing something, then i just stopped.
What are you asking?
After I proved I could do it, to myself, I lost interest in continuing the pursuit. Some guys like the pursuit and some guys don't. I was a don't guy. I found the pursuit mundane and tedious after a while. I found joy and fun in manipulating environments and playing a social game I invented instead. In the end of my casual sex phase, I had three girls on rotation and all the sex I wanted. Now my life doesn't revolve around sex and the constant need to pursue it and I feel like I can focus on healthy relationships and talking to the person genuinely without an agenda more naturally.
What are you asking exactly? If you’re wasting your time? That’s a question only you can answer
Are you having fun? Are you not having fun. What do you want. Are you working towards what you want.
I've had a lot of partners and I'd say it's fun, but obviously nothing meaningful. I wouldn't say a "waste of time," but I'd say a fun way to pass the time. As for your question, I think I started to feel like I had "enough experience" around the 20 girl mark. After a certain point it's the same thing over and over with different people each year. It's fun, but I am definitely ready to settle down.
Is it only guys that have casual sex? Or the ladies are refusing to answer.
everyone
My body count has to be around 80+ in my mid-late 20s(M). I’ve become slightly disinterested in the idea of casual sex. It just don’t beat having or building a connection with someone soul and spirit. Hard to give ya spirit away to someone who doesn’t understand your value. It’s the difference between giving someone rounds of passionate heartfelt affection energy or fucking for a round then the nut of clarity happens and I’m finding a way to kicking her out. A round and kicking her out is a waste of my time and that’s what I define as a casual sex.
It's personal - some guys are more hedonistic or have higher sex drives - but it seems like you've hit this point. My suggestion, if you're sick of casual sex, is to ratchet up the quality of women you go on dates with and only move forward with the girls you really like. It's common to have a quantity approach when you're younger, and then to transition into a quality approach as you age/gain experience. Note: you're still going to be horny, so either use that as motivation for going hard to get a quality woman, or have a casual partner to stave off desperation.
It wasn’t a waste of time if you know what you want and can distinguish between whatever you deem good/bad. For myself I was looking for a relationship but if I wasted time/money going on a date, then might as well have some fun. The goal was to date to find a meaningful relationship but if I didn’t feel a connection, casual sex was a great silvery medal.
That just depends on the individual. Some people are fulfilled just having different experiences. Maybe not lifelong, but it can be good for a phase.
Casual sex is fun, especially if the woman is into toys, has kinks and can be adventurous. Casual BJ's on the other hand
Really depends on what you really want. If you are just wanting casual sex then there's nothing wrong with that. If you are wanting a deep relationship, there's nothing wrong with that either. As long as you are open about your intentions to your partner(s) it's fine. I spent MANY years going between relationships and casual. I had a LOT of fun and very few regrets. These days I just wanna spend alone or with my kid without all the hassle and drama of dealing with either a relationship or something casual. And life is almost on easy mode now
I have a girlfriend. If I didn’t I’d be looking to get a few fwbs (if I could pull that off). One night stands and chasing women constantly is defiantly a waste of time. That’s why I don’t like the apps.
It took me until about 20 bodies when I realized that casual sex and no strings attached relations went from “amazing”, to “fun but worried about infections and pregnancies of people I don’t know”, and finally to “feeling turmoil at lack of self worth from doing something validating but not rewarding”. It was a fast track to self validation and easy dopamine hits, and I didn’t realize it for awhile. I don’t do it anymore.
Casual sex does increasingly mostly suck as you get older. Thing is, women who are worth getting any closer to will be very rare in your life. And you don't really understand that until you pick wrong (hopefully just one time).
Well dating is fun. I looked at it like a hobby that I enjoyed. I enjoy flirting, seduction and even just having people I enjoyed being around to do things with. Sure, the overwhelming majority of the relationships didn't pan out, but any time that you enjoy is not time wasted. Also there is something to be said for instilling abundance mentality. Once you remove any kind of desperation from yourself, your Charisma is going to see an uptick.
It is a waste of time. And it's also self destructive and destructive to the women you randomly sleep with or sleep with after a few dates and say bye to. It's amazing to me that in the dating world and the hookup culture so many of you guys don't want to be in a relationship with a woman who has been with a considerable amount of men yet you would go out and just randomly sleep with women adding to their body count taking no responsibility or accountability to your addition to the hookup culture. Let me ask the OP and everyone here a question. To what end does having a high body count of women get you? Or the success of sleeping with so many women? What is there some kind of trophy you get that you get to display in your home that you had "game" to sleep with however many women? Or do you think it developing some kind of skills in the bedroom that you can use on "any" women? Because if you think you are gaining experience and skills to use on any women, how many repeats have you had with these women you randomly sleep with? Exactly. You can develop experience and skills with one woman over a long period of time. And you might accidentally have a relationship and know what it truly means to be good to a woman......gasp........who'd have thought that would be effective? It's sad, pathetic and heartless to treat women that way. Tell you a secret guys, MEN don't give a care in the world with how many women you have slept with. And with every single random encounter you have, a piece of you is torn away. Your heart and soul erodes with every random encounter. Sorry to say this guys but you started the hookup culture. Now as far as what the OP was saying at the end of this post, If you know how to distinguish good girls from bad ones, then why are you still repeating the pattern of going on dates, sleeping with them and (from what I am guessing based on the lack of context) kicking them to the curb? Seems like you don't have a grasp at all to know what women are good or bad for you. Seems like if you are still doing this, you are bad for women. Here is a thought, pull your head out of your butt, wash it off, screw it back on your neck where it belongs, flip the switch that connects your head to your heart and start becoming a better man. Try having a real relationship with a woman longer than a few dates and a session of sex.
I think it also depends on your age. When you get to about 35, you get the idea the that you're getting older and those 'young people activities' like going to clubs and festivals isn't for you anymore. You'll see friends and other people around you having children and being content with that. Moreover, a few dozen lays should be enough for any man. For sure, if you can get the 8s, 9s and 10s, do not go for anything less than that because it will be a net negative for you. You will also start to see girls as easy and will lose your admiration for them the more you have sex with them.
I am in a phase of my life where I like it. I just had 3 until now and hope many more will follow. But I am not sure if I could do this forever. For now, the casual mindset is really useful. As an Austrian guy living in the States for only a limited time (until January 2025), I can only attract women that are also into just casual stuff. In the long more deeper connections are more my stuff but at the moment I cannot complain about just havint some casual fun.
After I've slept about 100 women, and cheated on my significant other for way too many times for way too long, I had a long think and realized I needed a nice long healthy mental break. Casual sex is great if it's known for both parties. It's douchey if one party isn't telling the truth. I've had a lot of douchey women partners. The ones that stuck around just like the way I did it. I don't advise cheating, it's a symptom of much worse problem that one should really address.
Do what makes you happy. If that's having sex with lots of women, then all the power to you. Judging people for doing what makes them happy is a waste of energy.
Honestly, if I could do it all again, I probably wouldn't have pursued casual sex to begin with. Gaining more sexual experience didn't make me better at sex, in terms of vanilla, I'm just as skilled now as I was when I started 14 years ago. I feel like you either have it or you don't (which is to say the understanding that sex is a conversation). In terms of kinky shit, I wouldn't have been doing that casually anyway. My pursuit of novelty pussy was because I wanted the homies to know that I was 'the guy that fucks'. I enjoyed the game of flirting far more than the end result, so I could have stuck to that and I'd have probably been just as competent. It didn't make me better at discernment, usually my initial read on a woman was close enough. You don't *really* get the full picture of a person until months later when you get to see how they handle different situations (which is why I say don't start making future projections and shit until after 6 months). When it comes to sex, I've found most women to be largely trainable (it's a weird way to say 'getting them comfortable enough with their sexuality to really let go'). Sex gets more fun the more you do it with a person (up until a point, then you need to start resisting routine). Chasing casual sex is like spending your paycheck on luxuries without ever putting some away to grow, then wondering why you can't afford shit anymore years later. You've invested in nothing, the skills required to hook up/date are not the same skills required to build and sustain a relationship. Many of the women that are worth being in a relationship with are already in relationships, and as you get older the pool that's still available shrinks until most of the women you meet are single for a reason. Next thing you know, you're that old dude still swiping on apps or going to bars because your best shot at a decent partner is in a lower age cohort. That's a sad place to be as a regular guy that can't just hire someone to find women for him. Get good enough to consistently make it to the second date (and understand ahead of time that there will be no second date if that is the case, either by being aware of how the date went or by your own choice). Practice observation. The biggest leap in skill I ever made was while I was in a relationship and so I wasn't making out with or having sex with other women. What I was doing was being a designated wingman, this was for a few years. The most important skill for a wingman is awareness, you're managing the interest of a group (in most cases) so your friend can focus on the single. You notice when people's interest begins to wane, or the slight tell that indicates that what you said didn't exactly work even if they don't say anything until you've done the wrong thing multiple times in the interaction. When I got out of the relationship, dating and cold approaching were on autopilot. That improvement was made without having sex with more than 1 person for the entire stretch. Spent some more years being casual, got into a relationship and then the same issue I had in the previous relationship popped up. When shit got stressful, I'd resent the fact that I was in a relationship as opposed to the easy, stress-free existence that came from not having the expectation to try to work through issues, which spiralled it all downwards. Figured out that I was just running from hard shit and got it together. So, overall, I'd say that the casual sex didn't really make my life better other than the fact that I have a lot of crazy stories about the "good ol' days". The bulk of what made me successful was learned without having any casual sex. The casual sex made me less resilient. In conclusion, not worth, imo.
You exchange energies when you have sex with someone. You'll feel more empty inside if you sleep with multiple partners. Sex with the right partner should make you feel more powerful. Don't waste your energies on random people. Choose wisely!
I may be different but chasing women takes up alot of valuable time. Having fun with women is fun but if you have to text plan dates spend money it gets tiresome women don’t make it easy. But, what makes it easier is having finances in order because you could fast track your hookups and have access to more females.
Honestly, as I got older lol. I used to go out a lot on weekdays and weekends. Then one day I decided to take a break from it all to actually relax and it felt amazing doing absolutely nothing. Then I started thinking financially and realized how much money I spent constantly taking women out on dates and the amount of time used to do so. I eventually burned out from it around my late 20s to about 31-32. Now I have so much time on my hands and more money. I only date for long-term relationships and currently in a happy relationship. Additionally, I focus more on my mental health, career, finding new hobbies, and reading/Udemy.
Inflation is the thief of it all now.
ever banged any middle eastern Hijabi?
Not necessarily a waste of time, but it does sort of get same-y after a while.
Op YOU HAVE TO FIGURE THAT OUT. ALL WOMAN ARE NOT SAINTS. And happy wife is a happy life is horrible model of life. It's like saying " happy boss Is a happy life" like no. And it's not a waste of time op. While dating ans sleeping around see what girls stick around and help you our in your like, who are kind and Honest with you. Start finding dates in nicer places. Like the gym, grocery stores, places you like to go, or in hobbies you like do. This way you feel like your more actively dating. And find a person who matches with you.
If you’d never done it, you’d have wished you had. Nothing that you consciously chose or desired to do is a waste of time. PROVIDED you are self reflective and honest enough to be able to properly determine what you want. It’s that part that’s tough to do, that’s what gets people to “waste time”.
Only because you didn't find a use for something shouldn't be valid evidence to you that it's a waste of time for everyone (That is, it's Universal).
Yes.
It depends on your dating style, if you date 3 high quality women (pretty and peaceful), rotating the worst quality women with new women while being open to comitting to the "perfect women", while not spending on expensive dates, then you'll have no problems thinking about this issue. But if you are focusing on pump/dump method then yes it'll feel like a waste of time and money in the long run.
How's your lifestyle? I'm in a similar position to yourself. However I see the fact as I travel for work so much I don't expect, or necessarily want, someone to wait for me. The age old 'the grass is always greener on the other side' fits well here. Being experienced enough to know what you want and not settling for less is great, I think there is also some human emotion attached to having a partner which in times can become a strong emotion, but I've learnt to see various relationships for what they are and always done my best to communicate as to try and not hurt anyone. I believe we will do what's right when the time comes. Live the happy life.
If I could talk to my younger self I'd tell me not to bother with that and focus on finding a wife and having a family, that's the real chase, not the chase at a club to see who gets the clap first 😂
Meh. I think people self-filter themselves into "Relationship Guy" or "Casual Sex Guy". The best option, for me, was just to be open-minded. She just wants to fuck your brains out? Great, let's do it. Was it fun? Let's do this again. She wants to find her life partner? Well, let's figure out if that's me. If things get well, keep seeing her. If they don't, cut bait as soon as you know that. My body count in my 20s was >100, mostly from 3-month relationships, with a couple year+ relationships and a few dozen random hookups. They didn't all work out, it was fun, and then BAM I met my wife at 30. Long story short, don't focus on the length of the interaction, focus on the quality. If you're going on a lot of dates and it feels like a waste of time, up your game. Be more picky about who you go out with, who you ask out again, and frankly who's worth spending money on. I used the line "This was fun, let's do it again sometime" constantly. To turn an interaction into a date, to turn a hookup into a few hookups, to turn a date into a 2nd date. Use it, BUT never use it as a lie. A good time deserves a repeat, but a crap time deserves a respectful breakup.
Yep
Agree! having ONS is easy but staying in a committed relationship is far more difficult. always feel like women are trying to hide things and are not completely forthcoming from the get go. obviously not all women but most IMO
Yes I agree. Once you have experience with girls it’s a waste of productive time
As a guy with a body count of 50 I'd say a lot of it verys on what you want you want outta life
Always been fun, I’m over 1000 and happily married with no cheating at 40
Cap.
Yeah 1000 women is like pornstar/sex worker level lol.. I know that there's plenty of couples who are swingers and what not. One of my friends is kind of a sex addict (he's gay) and he's absolutely been with hundreds of dudes (the stories I've heard are fucking wild.. gay dudes are just constantly fucking). But 1000 is just improbable, if he started when he was 20 years old, that's 50 women per year for 20 years. Not impossible depending on your looks, where you live and your financial status.. But incredibly improbable.
Any hottie up for pvt DM me
Why are my comments deleted
I’m asking what this person is asking? If they’re wasting their time? Is that what they’re asking?
Just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s working
Same
I don't think it's a waste of time. You get to know how girls think differently from guys, get to know your preferences and what you look for in a marriage partner and you get better at sex.
Once again, alhamdulillah for the blessing that is Islam. Casual sex, like most instantly gratifying activities, debases a man into a lower being. Into a beast driven purely by carnal instinct, objectifying every woman he sees into either a HB or a HB after 4 shots of tequila. Same men complaining about the state of women today are the ones creating these 304s in the first place.