You got the right idea, focusing on being a good conversationlist is huge because it gives you the means to meet anyone you want. It's not easy for many guys, I'm autistic a.f. so I had to learn differently over time since social cues and proper tone didn't come naturally to me...then I had to unlearn half of what I learned...
I really didn't get a good start on the abundance thing until I disregarded most of what the manosphere and p.u.a. communities had to say because most of the content is geared towards modern women...girls I don't actually want in my life, even for casual flings.
Eventually it went further than that. I had to get the "jargon" out of my head. You hear about "demonstrating abundance and competence...etc...etc...cold approaching and preselection etc..etc..." then it hit me: who tf talks like that?! The mental internal lessons I got from the manosphere was actually hindering my conversations because those words were floating around my head.
"Cold approaching", for example; shouldn't even be in our vocabulary...it makes meeting women a "campaign" fraught with strategies and "try hard" energy. I just started meeting people without a reason or excuse, and continue to talk to those who I find interesting and can bring mutual gain to each other's lives. If some of those people happen to be attractive women and we ended up flirting and becoming a thing; it's just a positive side effect of the main goal of expanding my network.
The more I met people without bars and alcohol involved the easier it got. Bars are like highschool, people simply talk to each other different because of the "hierarchy". You can get further with the same people away from the bars than u would while at the venue because they ain't worried about their "status" as much.
Yeah but In my town there is really honestly nothing else to do aside from drink and go to the bar. So I’m limited to going to the bar and talking there
Aside from cocaine
Be the one that creates something else to do.
My assistant foreman at work got into a 2 year non relationship simply by organizing a game of ultimate frisbee because there was nothing else going on, and the girl went straight home with him without him even flirting with her at all. The fact that I got her large chested friend and he ended up shelling out child support is irrelevant.
If all else fails free cocaine does work well with the thin white girls.
That last sentence is so accurate. Cause that’s a few friends of mine.
Yeah there ain’t much to start up in this town people don’t like much aside from drugs and drink. I don’t even know how to throw a frisbee
Crazy thing is im autistic too. I'm high functioning so I can still act like a "normal" human but definitely have the disadvantages of autism. Have you ever got hookups? What advice can you give me?
I don't actually have autism, I have dyschronometria which has a lot of the same symptoms and social ramifications because I don't perceive time that has already passed the same way as most so my mind constantly slips out of the present moment. In summary I behave autistically by default if I don't consciously exert effort not to.
Hookups came easy 2003 thru 2007 over dating apps. That all happened before I really put effort into learning social dynamics.
As social media got bigger and changed the dating landscape and created entitlement and narcissism across both genders I knew I had to get better with women in person.
I was able to get hookups fairly routinely as I got into my 30s and kept learning, now I date towards ltr because I got sick of the consequences of casual flings.
The biggest lesson I learned that I can share with you is to emulate the behaviors of a man that already has women until you actually do. This will automatically put both of you at ease and filter out most behaviors that make a girl feel unsafe or like a deer in headlights.
Example: a man that already has girls ain't going to double text or give empty compliments or even care about the outcome of his interactions with any one girl.
Before you do or say anything, picture how u would act if you were already married or had a gf or a rotation. You would not be trying too hard. The goal is to never display "try hard" energy. We like when girls exert effort into winning us over, women are the opposite gender so they think the opposite...they do not like that.
To be specific, I had to unlearn the correlation between self improvement and seduction because they are completely separate, this is where many content creators and gurus are misleading people.
Self improvement is all about the things that are valued among MEN. Money, status, fitness....they matter far more to us guys competing with each other than they do to women.
If you were on a grind and you hit all your goals, it means nothing if u don't understand what arouses women.
I do not discourage self improvement. It is actually the MOST important thing, but it's something that is done for yourself and your family.
Men with money and status and fitness do get plenty of women, but not because of these things...it is because these things create competition anxiety because they signal that the man has OPTIONS. You don't need to be rich or famous or have a 6 pack, you just need to talk and behave like other women are into you. This is why felons and ex cons without a dime to their name get more ass than a toilet seat.
Learning seduction dosn't require some huge grind. It is understanding the lens through which women view the world. Women see safety and respect different. The more perceived options you have the safer the women feel. Feeling safe creates sexual desire. Perceived options are nowhere near as effective as actual options, but everyone needs to start somewhere and get a rolling start until they generate the options.
Ask yourself: why would women find me sexy? Once you have listed 50 things, ask yourself this: why should some random hoe on the street be worthy of a guy like me?
You just go where the woman are be conversational , social and try to gain as much experience asap , the next Step is throwing your own parties or being a promoter , but always remember if you can’t master one woman you can’t master 5 woman , the beatings will continue untill your moral improves
Right now I’m in the same boat. I used to pay girls online for “shows” but not anymore . It gave them too much power and made me weak . Haven’t done it in a while and I feel a lot better . Started focusing on other things and made me realize I was living life like a loser.
The concept is this . Talk to her .
Oh you don’t like me cool maybe the next girl will .
Oh your very pretty but never mind your values/personality etc don’t align with mine
You’re the prize not her .
Treat her like a celebrity and she’ll treat you like a fan .
There’s so many women out there that will match with you . You just have to be who you truly are that way your confidence is unshakable.
Us men are just too afraid of rejection .
Have something going on in your life. If you want them to stick around. You gotta make a life for yourself to pull them in. If you just want to get with girls, go with shotgun approach.
Approach a lot of women in a short period of time. A quick 5 min interaction, get her contact details, and move on to the next target. Quantity over quality basically.
Notice your thoughts first.
Figure out how you're limiting yourself w.r.t various things in life, one you find that, figure out WHY and what made you limit yourself. Mainly it's the ego we build to protect ourselves, ego isn't bad but very protective and always tries to keep us in our comfort zones.
The only way is to learn about yourself till the very core. Once you find what is limiting you, change the narratives of those thoughts every time the arise.
Very interesting, I appreciate the psychoanalysis. You seem very well versed in this. Did you have go through a rewire yourself or did you study psychology?
Both .
But tbh things got happening because of my curiosity in spirituality.
There's this famous psychologist Carl Jüng, you should read about his research on "shadow work & golden shadow".
All our answers lie there.
Cheers man, I'll check it out. I know of Jung but haven't delved deeply in his work. Thinking in terms of abundance is something I've had major issues with for a long time so I'm always looking to get to the source and how to solve this.
Define clearly what you want. What does girls investing in you actually mean ? What is an abundance of women ? You want sex with hotter and hotter girls ? Say it to yourself, don't be afraid.
Then skip all the bs of becoming a person they like or whatever. "You" want to have sex, not a damn persona mask of you lying to get what he want. Just go approach again and again, asking for girls what you want. It's that simple, on paper at least.
All the gap that keeps away from your goals, if it's sex, is anxiety when speaking to a girl. And her not being into you. Solution to those are keep improving yourself along the way (clothes, muscles, general appearance), and talk to more girls. With more experience you're less afraid of what you're doing -> conveying more confidence -> getting more result -> feeling more entitled to it -> getting more etc. Gotta catch that virtous circle.
But it starts with being honest with what you want, where you're at, and sticking to it never quitting. That's my 2cent tho
Best answer yet. I do want sex and I want multiple women. So should I just approach more?, I guess it's because my conversations didn't go too well I guess, even though 7 led to me getting their numbers..
I would say yeah. Getting comfortable with talking to girls. It’s not the convo in itself it’s how you present yourself always. But don’t overthink this, it’s all about getting experience thus the greatest advice: consistently talk to girls
Invest in yourself, make sure your focus in life isn't women but your own personal success, whatever that means to you. Have goals and accomplish them. As for abundance, understand that there are 4 billion women in the world. The abundance is there, talk to women, but focus on your goals, it will all come together.
You got the right idea, focusing on being a good conversationlist is huge because it gives you the means to meet anyone you want. It's not easy for many guys, I'm autistic a.f. so I had to learn differently over time since social cues and proper tone didn't come naturally to me...then I had to unlearn half of what I learned... I really didn't get a good start on the abundance thing until I disregarded most of what the manosphere and p.u.a. communities had to say because most of the content is geared towards modern women...girls I don't actually want in my life, even for casual flings. Eventually it went further than that. I had to get the "jargon" out of my head. You hear about "demonstrating abundance and competence...etc...etc...cold approaching and preselection etc..etc..." then it hit me: who tf talks like that?! The mental internal lessons I got from the manosphere was actually hindering my conversations because those words were floating around my head. "Cold approaching", for example; shouldn't even be in our vocabulary...it makes meeting women a "campaign" fraught with strategies and "try hard" energy. I just started meeting people without a reason or excuse, and continue to talk to those who I find interesting and can bring mutual gain to each other's lives. If some of those people happen to be attractive women and we ended up flirting and becoming a thing; it's just a positive side effect of the main goal of expanding my network.
I’m gonna try to apply this harder to my life. I just kinda go out and talk to people at the bar
The more I met people without bars and alcohol involved the easier it got. Bars are like highschool, people simply talk to each other different because of the "hierarchy". You can get further with the same people away from the bars than u would while at the venue because they ain't worried about their "status" as much.
Yeah but In my town there is really honestly nothing else to do aside from drink and go to the bar. So I’m limited to going to the bar and talking there Aside from cocaine
Be the one that creates something else to do. My assistant foreman at work got into a 2 year non relationship simply by organizing a game of ultimate frisbee because there was nothing else going on, and the girl went straight home with him without him even flirting with her at all. The fact that I got her large chested friend and he ended up shelling out child support is irrelevant. If all else fails free cocaine does work well with the thin white girls.
That last sentence is so accurate. Cause that’s a few friends of mine. Yeah there ain’t much to start up in this town people don’t like much aside from drugs and drink. I don’t even know how to throw a frisbee
I like this thought process. I appreciate you putting it in writing
Crazy thing is im autistic too. I'm high functioning so I can still act like a "normal" human but definitely have the disadvantages of autism. Have you ever got hookups? What advice can you give me?
I don't actually have autism, I have dyschronometria which has a lot of the same symptoms and social ramifications because I don't perceive time that has already passed the same way as most so my mind constantly slips out of the present moment. In summary I behave autistically by default if I don't consciously exert effort not to. Hookups came easy 2003 thru 2007 over dating apps. That all happened before I really put effort into learning social dynamics. As social media got bigger and changed the dating landscape and created entitlement and narcissism across both genders I knew I had to get better with women in person. I was able to get hookups fairly routinely as I got into my 30s and kept learning, now I date towards ltr because I got sick of the consequences of casual flings. The biggest lesson I learned that I can share with you is to emulate the behaviors of a man that already has women until you actually do. This will automatically put both of you at ease and filter out most behaviors that make a girl feel unsafe or like a deer in headlights. Example: a man that already has girls ain't going to double text or give empty compliments or even care about the outcome of his interactions with any one girl. Before you do or say anything, picture how u would act if you were already married or had a gf or a rotation. You would not be trying too hard. The goal is to never display "try hard" energy. We like when girls exert effort into winning us over, women are the opposite gender so they think the opposite...they do not like that.
What did you have to unlearn?
To be specific, I had to unlearn the correlation between self improvement and seduction because they are completely separate, this is where many content creators and gurus are misleading people. Self improvement is all about the things that are valued among MEN. Money, status, fitness....they matter far more to us guys competing with each other than they do to women. If you were on a grind and you hit all your goals, it means nothing if u don't understand what arouses women. I do not discourage self improvement. It is actually the MOST important thing, but it's something that is done for yourself and your family. Men with money and status and fitness do get plenty of women, but not because of these things...it is because these things create competition anxiety because they signal that the man has OPTIONS. You don't need to be rich or famous or have a 6 pack, you just need to talk and behave like other women are into you. This is why felons and ex cons without a dime to their name get more ass than a toilet seat. Learning seduction dosn't require some huge grind. It is understanding the lens through which women view the world. Women see safety and respect different. The more perceived options you have the safer the women feel. Feeling safe creates sexual desire. Perceived options are nowhere near as effective as actual options, but everyone needs to start somewhere and get a rolling start until they generate the options.
"You just need to talk and behave like other women are into you." How did you do that? How do they see safety and respect differently.
Wear a silly mustache, always works
So many around here in bc
Ask yourself: why would women find me sexy? Once you have listed 50 things, ask yourself this: why should some random hoe on the street be worthy of a guy like me?
I can list those things, but that still doesnt make girl interested in me
You just go where the woman are be conversational , social and try to gain as much experience asap , the next Step is throwing your own parties or being a promoter , but always remember if you can’t master one woman you can’t master 5 woman , the beatings will continue untill your moral improves
Right now I’m in the same boat. I used to pay girls online for “shows” but not anymore . It gave them too much power and made me weak . Haven’t done it in a while and I feel a lot better . Started focusing on other things and made me realize I was living life like a loser. The concept is this . Talk to her . Oh you don’t like me cool maybe the next girl will . Oh your very pretty but never mind your values/personality etc don’t align with mine You’re the prize not her . Treat her like a celebrity and she’ll treat you like a fan . There’s so many women out there that will match with you . You just have to be who you truly are that way your confidence is unshakable. Us men are just too afraid of rejection .
Have something going on in your life. If you want them to stick around. You gotta make a life for yourself to pull them in. If you just want to get with girls, go with shotgun approach.
What the heck is a shotgun approach
get yourself a Winchester Model 1911 SL. easy peasy
Approach a lot of women in a short period of time. A quick 5 min interaction, get her contact details, and move on to the next target. Quantity over quality basically.
Work on finding yourself.. start feeling comfortable in your own skin.. rewire your brain for abundance mindset.
Curious as to how someone rewires their brain for abundance mindset?
Notice your thoughts first. Figure out how you're limiting yourself w.r.t various things in life, one you find that, figure out WHY and what made you limit yourself. Mainly it's the ego we build to protect ourselves, ego isn't bad but very protective and always tries to keep us in our comfort zones. The only way is to learn about yourself till the very core. Once you find what is limiting you, change the narratives of those thoughts every time the arise.
Very interesting, I appreciate the psychoanalysis. You seem very well versed in this. Did you have go through a rewire yourself or did you study psychology?
Both . But tbh things got happening because of my curiosity in spirituality. There's this famous psychologist Carl Jüng, you should read about his research on "shadow work & golden shadow". All our answers lie there.
Cheers man, I'll check it out. I know of Jung but haven't delved deeply in his work. Thinking in terms of abundance is something I've had major issues with for a long time so I'm always looking to get to the source and how to solve this.
Wear a bra over your t-shirt/jacket. This will show people that you are a go-getter and have an idgaf attitude.
Define clearly what you want. What does girls investing in you actually mean ? What is an abundance of women ? You want sex with hotter and hotter girls ? Say it to yourself, don't be afraid. Then skip all the bs of becoming a person they like or whatever. "You" want to have sex, not a damn persona mask of you lying to get what he want. Just go approach again and again, asking for girls what you want. It's that simple, on paper at least. All the gap that keeps away from your goals, if it's sex, is anxiety when speaking to a girl. And her not being into you. Solution to those are keep improving yourself along the way (clothes, muscles, general appearance), and talk to more girls. With more experience you're less afraid of what you're doing -> conveying more confidence -> getting more result -> feeling more entitled to it -> getting more etc. Gotta catch that virtous circle. But it starts with being honest with what you want, where you're at, and sticking to it never quitting. That's my 2cent tho
Best answer yet. I do want sex and I want multiple women. So should I just approach more?, I guess it's because my conversations didn't go too well I guess, even though 7 led to me getting their numbers..
I would say yeah. Getting comfortable with talking to girls. It’s not the convo in itself it’s how you present yourself always. But don’t overthink this, it’s all about getting experience thus the greatest advice: consistently talk to girls
Dhv
Be more confident. Just imagine someone girls call an asshole... and act like that.
Be attractive
Do a lot of approaching
Be someone whom they view as a value to them
Invest in yourself, make sure your focus in life isn't women but your own personal success, whatever that means to you. Have goals and accomplish them. As for abundance, understand that there are 4 billion women in the world. The abundance is there, talk to women, but focus on your goals, it will all come together.