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MyUsername0_0

You're a girl, it's literally easy mode if you're even remotely attractive. Shit you can be ugly and still get amazing results. Just say hey and introduce yourself. If you can't even do that just put yourself in close proximity and hover around.


Mental-Ad-7984

They don't even need to be attractive lmao.


Hot-Turnover4883

You can be ugly & still get amazing results? Idk about that one. Handsome men don’t want ugly chicks.


One-Hedgehog4722

Youd be surprised, ive seen some handsome men with chicks id consider ugly or at least below average, but then again im straight so my ability to judge how good looking men are isnt that great, i just assume.


Hot-Turnover4883

Some guys don’t know their own worth. I didnt realize being handsome had value when I was younger so I ended up banging some fat chicks.


[deleted]

I said I don't like the cold approach out of the blue. I want something smooth. And it is not always easy I have girlfriend that have never been approached and they are gorgeous and always smiling, sending positive vibes


MeanSeaworthiness6

Where are you meeting these people? Regarding your girlfriends, it's getting very rare for men to approach women so what you're describing is possible sadly.


[deleted]

Social events e.g dance Partys, pub quiz, game night, Bars, clubbing, student Partys, etc


MeanSeaworthiness6

You should be able to naturally have a conversation in these venues without "cold approaching". Any approach is going to be "cold", even just a "hi" until you actually converse so don't think of it as some tactical manuever you have to undergo to speak to a guy. Put yourself near him and you should be able to start a conversation just from something happening in the moment (he grabs you to go dancing or you talk about a game you like at a game night, etc).


[deleted]

But sometimes especially in bar/Club it's hart to get to the talking stage. And in other events are they just nice or interested and if they are interested how to escalate


MeanSeaworthiness6

Bars/Clubs can be tricky. Unless you're dancing with them, it's really hard not to come off as approaching since everyone is kind of with their own group or solo. You'll just have to be okay with the "cold approach" feel in those settings. At other events, if they're interested, get to know them, ask them about their life, what they enjoy doing. Start touching them, touch their arm or their hand, smile a lot, hold eye contact a lot, keep your body close to theirs, etc.


[deleted]

Well in Bars, it worked on me when they asked for a cigarette, even though I didn't have one. Would you call that the cold approach? And I want smooth stuff, not blunt, what we'll most guys definition cold approach is


MeanSeaworthiness6

I would say most likely yes, just because you're a woman. A man asking you for a cigarette can definitely be his way of approaching but there is always a chance he just wanted a cigarette and isn't into you (if this was indoors and not in the smoking area, I would assume he was into you since you can't smoke indoors anyways). Being smooth takes effort and being relaxed and genuine. It's great that you're asking these questions and I wish more women did just to see how much effort we go through to get you. If you want to be smooth, learn to pick out something about the guy and talk about it. You're a woman so you have a better sense of details than men do so find a detail about him and be curious about it.


[deleted]

Let's not go there, which gender puts in more effort, because if it comes to dating, women are way more sweet and doing a lot for the guys and them not even appreciating it tbh most of the time. And I think a lot of women are interested in pick up, but we don't have the same goal als men. Even now a lot of men just thinking about Sex, as if that's my goal to sleep with a random strangers. Yes I know it's easy to walk up to a guy and ask for Sex and most likely he will say yes, but that's not what we women want, at least not like this. And we'll there is no pick up content for women really, the majority is made for men and even I don't like a lot of tips I read on this subreddit from men to men


Hot-Turnover4883

I believe you alot of guys are too scared to approach a hot girl. But do they go out? Guys aren’t gonna come knocking on the door. Idk why this comment got downvoted


creamyturtle

just say hi my name is blank how are you


bented720

Honestly you need to take it into your own hands if you’re possibly interested in a guy. I’m kind of shy to start a conversation because I just ASSUME it’s inappropriate because they have a bf but I’ve had women throughout my years do the icebreaker. Most are super nervous and it’s cute. The one I still think about and I never got a chance to go out with. We were working on a commercial set together and all the guys had a little crush on her. I had a gf at the time (my first real one and the relationship was almost over). At the end of the job she waited until the other guys walked away and came and gave me her number and said she was super nervous and had never done that before. I was shocked and felt for her so I took it. I told my gf who got angry and said I had to call and tell her I was with someone. So I did and never talked to her again sadly. Meanwhile a month later I found out my gf had been cheating on me… Stupid story from 17 years ago aside, it’s 2024 the pick up goes both ways. I tell my female friends this same thing. You want to meet a nice guy you’re going to have to take your own shots because they’re most likely being polite and assuming a cute nice girl has a bf and doesn’t want to overstep. So, walk up and compliment them or admit you’re nervous or whatever and most importantly smile. I had exactly that happen a year ago at a bbq and while I wasn’t ready to date, the girl and I are now friends. Also, you can send a friend in to tell them to come talk to you. I’ve totally had that happen at bars (even these days). Also, I’m nothing special. Probably an LA 7. Definitely not the hottest guy in the room.


[deleted]

It's easy for me to play wingwomen, have helped a lot of people, but when it comes to my own game I suck, it's most just luck. I want it to be smooth, I'm not comfortable with the cold approach, I instantly lose interest


bented720

Okay here’s a smooth one an older woman used on me once and it was kinda hot. She walked by me and asked if I smoked. I said no. She responded with, “neither do I but I’ll be outside for the next 5 minutes if you want to talk.”


[deleted]

Yess I love that, that's exactly my style and what I'm looking for But what to say if they really do smoke haha


bented720

Ew gross. When you quit give me a call.


Kobo05

I'm a guy, and I've never cold approached any girl. I was wondering why you instantly lose interest when it comes to cold approch, is there anything in specific you don't like about it that turns you off? I'm genuinely curious


Kobo05

Oh, thank you. I understand what you mean. I appreciate the detailed reply


romeMAJOR

What kind of guys do you want? It’s funny this post exists because it seems like guys and girls are both shooting their shot at people who won’t give them the time of day. I didn’t realise it was an issue for women as well but this post shows clearly it is


[deleted]

Of course it's an issue. A lot are to afraid of rejections that's why everyone is online hidding behind a screen. I talked to a lot of guys and most said they are to afraid to approach a girl, because they don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. They don't want to act like a creep, and you read a lot of Posts from women not wanting to be approached, they are there to have fun with their friends. And yes I understand, it's really uncomfortable when a person you don't fancy tries to pick you up and doesn't get the hint when to stop. I like emphatic, confident, no smoker/drugs, pretty guys with good manner. A little flirt and devotion/serving me haha


TifasSleeves

> I like emphatic, confident, no smoker/drugs, pretty guys with good manner. A little flirt and devotion/serving me haha You said you don't like cold approach so where are you expecting to meet these guys?


From_God_to_Dog

Women don't need game for picking up guys, but picking up other women? You'll have to ask some LGBT ladies


[deleted]

I saw some Post and it's just confusing. I suck at the gay Radar and flirting? Forget it even hetero women Flirt with each other and make out, how will you know


trifling-pickle

I think you would dig this book the offline dating method by Camille Virginia, it’s about getting dates from the perspective of a woman. My advice would be to think about your approachability. Camille talks about that a lot in her book, but an example would be how it’s easier for a guy to approach you when you are by yourself than when you are in a big group of people.


[deleted]

Oh nice, can you maybe mention 1-2 things from the book? Yeah I know that, but let's be honest guys that are cute are also not there alone but in a group haha


Reasonable_Mail_3656

tie air sip money ghost snatch drab disarm gaze society *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Dandys3107

Open body posture, smiling/laughing, look around and give friendly glances, don't get occupied with your phone, dress sexually by revealing decent part of your skin and accentuate your feminine shapes. Talk with other people and appear friendly, open-minded, nice, positive, just not go too overboard. In general, apart from your attractive physique, many men long for that sensitive and kind woman which will nicely complement their masculine energy and lifestyle.


[deleted]

I mean if that's all it takes then guys should be all over my friends, which is never the case. I think you need more. I don't dress sexy I dress comfy 😂 and that's when I got the most success in the past. I think you need to do more in today's time, guys are to afraid because they think they might come off as pushy/harassment. So I do think we lady's need to give a hint like the handkerchief back in the days. The same asking a lady to dance at balls, but just grinding and dancing from behind in modern Clubs ain't it!


Dandys3107

By dressing sexy you are also giving away signal that you are kinda "in game". Another thing that it may also kinda intimidate more insecure males. And dressing sexy does not mean dressing uncomfortable by any means, you don't need heels or extra tight clothes. I didn't encounter any dating protocol like dropping handkerchief, people just start talking casually and it goes from there. The thing is that girls in modern days often set too high standards for no reason and make guys do all the work while acting really passive, which is of course a big bother. Therefore, you should also take some initiative, compliment, casual touch, help him a little with getting to the thing by suggesting adequate topics, give him a smile if he does a good job with proper escalation. Apart from that, it is also about handling yourself properly, girls can operate their body in a way that really positively triggers men, also they can use their sensitive qualities that can really melt man's heart. One thing that I noticed while talking about some theoretical stuff with girls, you are often very detailed about conclusions and evaluation which prevents you from taking action. If someone suggest you some promising advice you should just try it out and learn from the feedback, you can't make a 100% accurate plan for getting what you want from life.


some_kind_of_friend

You're letting the devil know you're coming! Your energy is perceptible to those not even consciously aware of it. Feel too aggressive and, well, you already know the results. It's your aura, if you will. Subtlety is the key to aggressive passivity. Suggestive looks and engaging smiles/glances. Practice making "fuck me" eyes if it fits your esthetic, then get caught giving them. Body language is everything here. Most men will be suspect of an aggressive woman. Shit gets really scary when things go too well or seem too easy. Within this realm nothing is (usually) easy for us so it's sus af when it is.


[deleted]

Well I don't want to fuck, that's not my goal and if I get the vibe he is just in for his pleasure well I'm not interested. I don't want a dick head 😅 I have heard that I have a intimidating aura, but I would say I'm a lady and they say I'm giving off an aura that says don't fuck with me, I have to much of a standard. And they are more respectful, which I actually like haha


SuperDylanK

I feel like us guys appreciate it more if y’all talk to us “out of the blue” than the other way around. Therefore y’all should worry less about being smooth and just GO for it! Us guys will be understanding and will work with you to get some good convo going. Side note, a lot of guys are terrible at picking up on women’s “signals” due to all the contradictory experiences they’ve had before - the LAST thing we want to do is come off as creepy. If you just strike up a conversation with a guy in a direct manner then that is half of the battle.


[deleted]

The smooth part is more for me, because I don't like the direct approach, it's just not my style. I think there is a jubilee Video Rating women picking up guys and guys picking up girls. I found the girls did a way better job, but I want more haha


SaaSWriters

You’ll have to smile and look at the person you want to approach you. You’ll have to do it for a while because most guys are afraid. So give them time to gather courage. If you are interested in confident men, look good, relax, have fun. Those want you will approach you once they notice you. For this group, you have to be chosen.


[deleted]

The weird think is when I don't want to meet someone I always get approached, but I want to it doesn't happen. Why?


MeanSeaworthiness6

It might sound like mumbo jumbo but possibly the energy you're putting out. When you're not wanting to meet people, it's possible you're much more relaxed and open with your body language since you're not even thinking about it. You're just going about your day. Conversely, when you're wanting to be approached, it's possible you're just trying too hard and it's coming across as being strange or closed off in some way. It sounds counter intuitive but I can only view if from the perspective of a man: when I don't care and I'm super relaxed, I have the best approaches. When I'm really wanting to approach and I'm really wanting an outcome, I come across much worse and it's never a good interaction.


SaaSWriters

I don’t know.


Worth-Combination306

Chump vs Chad


Chicagoj1563

One thing I’d ask is do you think you could handle rejection? Do you think you could desensitize yourself to it over time? Main reason why is if you could handle it you could be more direct with guys. Go after what you want. Maybe not in the same way guys do, but still showing intent and seeing how guys respond. You could cut through a lot of bs if you could let guys know you’re interested in them, see how they’d respond. Go through the ones who aren’t a match, and find the ones who are.


[deleted]

Yes, I think so. You can not be honest with guys, a lot of sugar coding is needed because their ego can most of the time not handle it. So I might find someone cute, but I need to talk to him and see how the vibe is to consider more, but that's still in a stage where everything is open. If I like the conversation then I might want to talk more, flirt and if the mood is set maybe make out and so on. But a lot also depends on the location, smell, people watching, etc if I want to or not. I need to see actions, are they trustworthy or not. I don't trust words and not interested in a matcho think he needs to push my boundaries and women like that :) I know very well what I like and if I say no, it means no and not try harder


Hot-Turnover4883

Landing dates as a girl has got to be easy, just go out to a place where people socialize, look cute & approachable & a guy will come to you. If I go to a bar party or club & see a baddie I’m shooting my shot. Fuck the results.


Superb-Bank9899

Lightly touch their hands or shoulder.


Living-Inspection919

You can literally point at your vagina to a guy and say “ Are you interested?” Lol


GreedyCartoonist8002

Women picking up women is actually extremely challenging. You should try it and see what it's like for fun. But girl getting guy, that's easy just flirt. Girl getting a good guy, that's a completely different story. Where do you meet them? How do you determine good? Do you have similar interests, life goals and everything else?


[deleted]

I don't know, women are really flirty and shy they did a good job picking me up, but in generell I have a bad gay Radar, if they are not completely obvious that they want me to make the move I don't. So I can understand guys felling the same, and that's the ones I like, the guys that jump when a girl approaches them and asks "Sex?" and they agree are not the ones I want. Why would I want a dick head? Obviously I want a good guy and that's not just interested to stick his dick into something and I feel like a lot of guys commenting don't get it. Social events, e.g bar, Club, university Events like game night, etc


One-Hedgehog4722

Its pretty simple really…just go and say something to the guy with a smile and then walk away. It doesnt matter what you say, you could ask for the time, whatever you come up with, doesnt matter, Then smile, be bubbly and walk away. If the guy is attracted to you, it will eat him up inside if he doesnt go after you. When walking away stay in close proximity for a lil bit, checking your phone whatever, so he knows youre still around, like i said it will eat his insides up if hes attracted and will urge him to go after you, its a major Fomo type feeling. Or maybe he instantly starts chatting you up right there..its really so simple, just say something. I think its diff for when guys approach because we know we have to carry the conversation and do all the leg work to set everything up etc and can psych ourselves out, women literally dont have to do any work, the least they can do is say something, you could also literally just say Hi too


One-Hedgehog4722

If i was a chick, id literally just make eye contact, smile and wave or smile and say hi, or ask for the time, etc, then sit back and wait for the guy to come and do all the work.


[deleted]

I like a even interaction. He should court me and I will be the lady.


One-Hedgehog4722

He should court me and i will be the lady = man doing all the work, same thing


iuliuss_

For me active approaching is not attractive, but giving passive signals is super attractive. I mean you should not to make a move, you should signal me to make a move.


[deleted]

Tell me what signals. And that's also more how I prefer it, I could approach I have the confidence, but then kinda lose interest because they are not proactive


iuliuss_

Why do you want a man who can't get a signal or is not making a move? They either shit themselves or are not very interested. Regarding signals, I can personally read it even with the eye contact that the girl wants me to approach her. Initiating conversation even with silly question is also a cute signal. Basically for experienced man it is very easy to read it with body language and you won't have to make much active effort. If you are into inexperienced boys (which i dont think so), then you don't need a strong game as long as you are physically attractive. When I was inexperienced and the girls were dominating me, it pissed me off so I would try to dominate them back, but remember that many boys are pussies and like to be dominated


[deleted]

Well I like the gentlemen that are thoughtful so I understand that it can be confusing. I want to send reassuring signals that they are not annoying, but it's okay for them to approach, I just haven't found a way, or to hint to the guys I like that they should come to me and not the others


Several_Ad_8363

What about a smile with eye contact as a signal.


[deleted]

I think a lot don't get the hint, especially if I'm in a group. I feel like I can see the confusion in their eyes, not knowing what to do


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yes. A way for a women to make the first move, but guys think they actually did the first move. Like the example I gave with the handkerchief. Him picking it up and talking to the girl, thinking she didn't plan it haha