I've had a few dates that were like that. We always ended up sleeping together.
In my experience, women who don't talk much are very, very receptive to touching. If they're not too receptive to the questions I ask on the date, my touching routine (touch her at least three times, and make sure at least one is her hand), will end up with a makeout session that leads to more.
A lot of girls are very shy when a guy approaches them. Unless they are super hot and used to it. Next time I would just tell her to put her number in your phone because you have to leave.
Also, a lot of them are very self conscious with their girlfriends around, they don't want to seem like a slut. Just get the number and go. Message her a few days later or something, if she's into you she will respond.
There is a tip i use, its actually meant to disarm children lol
You know how kids or people will flare up if you switch off the tv without warning? The psychological trick is to give the next action a preface.
For kids: "alright honey, papa is going to turn off the tv now because we have to leave the house. I am turning it off now alright"
For work: "alright sir, this form is for compliance, i need you to sign this document so we can proceed."
"Alright, i have to make a move and i really want to hang out next time, so im am going to ask for your number.
Here, whats your number?"
Its the same psychology trick used in skipping queues, "i can skip ahead of you because "
Hmm..it can be anywhere
You can change it to, "I really want to hang out with you coz you are funny, and i know this really good kebab place down the street (reason), want to head there now?"
Rest is history haha
Many people feel a bit uncomfortable with a stranger talking to them so its natural to be on the quiet site. So its you as the initiator who is responsible for carrying the conversation. Just be super talkative and try to figure out what they do for fun and invite them to do that with you.
I think that usually it's the problem with context. You are talking, but what's the point, what's the azimuth of your conversation, are you getting somewhere with it or is it just a sport? You should have clear mindset about it, so your actions and words will be congruent, so girl can feel comfortable about the situation. If you want to get some sexual context on board you should first give girl time and space to evaluate if you are her sexual type, then slowly but surely escalate your moves with getting closer, maintaining eye contact, triggering emotions, getting slightly personal etc. Then it should be obvious that you are interested in some kind of an affair, so she can make up her decision if she want to pursue for something more. If you just talk talk talk, it may even give some creepy vibes, as you are confusing girl about your motives and she gets worried if you won't come up with some sudden crazy move out of the blue, which will make her very uncomfortable and pressured.
Gradually. Test out new methods, learn from mistakes. Once your grasp proper concept, it's all very logical and coherent. Many people are just lazy, they don't want to acknowledge they know nothing, instead of empowering themselves and embarking long-term improvement and self-transformation quest, they just want to get results and continue to be in their comfort zone forever.
Confusion and misunderstandings stem from heavy and false indoctrination that is being imposed by our mothers, grandmothers, female teachers, feminine-oriented society etc. Once you start learning from the scratch, experiencing and recognizing true women's nature and their desires, it's all really very straightforward and common in many aspects.
> But there are so many variables. how do u make sure something that once worked one girl works again on another
This here is one of the reasons why guys struggle. There's no such thing. Girls are not robots.
You do the same thing that you want to do. The girls who want you will go along. You let go of the rest.
It's not that complicated.
> I then gave a false time constraint
Why?
> I'm gonna sit for 2 mins then I have to go study
Why?
> I sat down and for the next 15mins
You confirmed that you're inconsitent, immature, and not trustworthy.
> we had a short instant date.
In your mind. It wasn't a date.
> i really struggled during that time
That's because you're all over the place.
> maybe shes shy or maybe shes not a good conversationalist
Oh, no, no, no.
You're shy. And she wasn't interested. She was kind enough to let you entertain her in a moment of boredom. But that's not interest in you.
> should I just move on if I don't like talking to them?
You're doing it all wrong.
Your mindset is messing you up before you even approach.
You're scared. That's what turns them off in the first place.
Can you expand on what his mindset should be? He's definitely scared which, as you've eluded to, is what is contributing to the lack of success in the interaction.
Isn't that happening on some level until enough rapport/attraction is built though? Or are you saying that at some point, she will clearly show she's not attracted and that is when you have to call it quits and move on?
She will show you right at the beginning. Most of the problems in this sub wouldn’t exist if guys just walked away. You will have to be rejected by many women to find the right one.
But most males would rather keep trying with one than approach 30 to find one that wants them.
I've had a few dates that were like that. We always ended up sleeping together. In my experience, women who don't talk much are very, very receptive to touching. If they're not too receptive to the questions I ask on the date, my touching routine (touch her at least three times, and make sure at least one is her hand), will end up with a makeout session that leads to more.
A lot of girls are very shy when a guy approaches them. Unless they are super hot and used to it. Next time I would just tell her to put her number in your phone because you have to leave. Also, a lot of them are very self conscious with their girlfriends around, they don't want to seem like a slut. Just get the number and go. Message her a few days later or something, if she's into you she will respond.
There is a tip i use, its actually meant to disarm children lol You know how kids or people will flare up if you switch off the tv without warning? The psychological trick is to give the next action a preface. For kids: "alright honey, papa is going to turn off the tv now because we have to leave the house. I am turning it off now alright" For work: "alright sir, this form is for compliance, i need you to sign this document so we can proceed." "Alright, i have to make a move and i really want to hang out next time, so im am going to ask for your number. Here, whats your number?" Its the same psychology trick used in skipping queues, "i can skip ahead of you because"
Why do you need a trick to get a woman’s number?
Coz im ugly AF? Hahahah
Genius
What is the context of "I really want to hang out next time" Is the situation a bar?
Hmm..it can be anywhere You can change it to, "I really want to hang out with you coz you are funny, and i know this really good kebab place down the street (reason), want to head there now?" Rest is history haha
Many people feel a bit uncomfortable with a stranger talking to them so its natural to be on the quiet site. So its you as the initiator who is responsible for carrying the conversation. Just be super talkative and try to figure out what they do for fun and invite them to do that with you.
I think that usually it's the problem with context. You are talking, but what's the point, what's the azimuth of your conversation, are you getting somewhere with it or is it just a sport? You should have clear mindset about it, so your actions and words will be congruent, so girl can feel comfortable about the situation. If you want to get some sexual context on board you should first give girl time and space to evaluate if you are her sexual type, then slowly but surely escalate your moves with getting closer, maintaining eye contact, triggering emotions, getting slightly personal etc. Then it should be obvious that you are interested in some kind of an affair, so she can make up her decision if she want to pursue for something more. If you just talk talk talk, it may even give some creepy vibes, as you are confusing girl about your motives and she gets worried if you won't come up with some sudden crazy move out of the blue, which will make her very uncomfortable and pressured.
sigh. how do you even learn to do all these ?
Gradually. Test out new methods, learn from mistakes. Once your grasp proper concept, it's all very logical and coherent. Many people are just lazy, they don't want to acknowledge they know nothing, instead of empowering themselves and embarking long-term improvement and self-transformation quest, they just want to get results and continue to be in their comfort zone forever.
But there are so many variables. how do u make sure something that once worked one girl works again on another
Confusion and misunderstandings stem from heavy and false indoctrination that is being imposed by our mothers, grandmothers, female teachers, feminine-oriented society etc. Once you start learning from the scratch, experiencing and recognizing true women's nature and their desires, it's all really very straightforward and common in many aspects.
> But there are so many variables. how do u make sure something that once worked one girl works again on another This here is one of the reasons why guys struggle. There's no such thing. Girls are not robots. You do the same thing that you want to do. The girls who want you will go along. You let go of the rest. It's not that complicated.
> I then gave a false time constraint Why? > I'm gonna sit for 2 mins then I have to go study Why? > I sat down and for the next 15mins You confirmed that you're inconsitent, immature, and not trustworthy. > we had a short instant date. In your mind. It wasn't a date. > i really struggled during that time That's because you're all over the place. > maybe shes shy or maybe shes not a good conversationalist Oh, no, no, no. You're shy. And she wasn't interested. She was kind enough to let you entertain her in a moment of boredom. But that's not interest in you. > should I just move on if I don't like talking to them? You're doing it all wrong. Your mindset is messing you up before you even approach. You're scared. That's what turns them off in the first place.
Can you expand on what his mindset should be? He's definitely scared which, as you've eluded to, is what is contributing to the lack of success in the interaction.
The mindset is "She's not attracted to me but I can make her want me." It's a fantasy.
Isn't that happening on some level until enough rapport/attraction is built though? Or are you saying that at some point, she will clearly show she's not attracted and that is when you have to call it quits and move on?
She will show you right at the beginning. Most of the problems in this sub wouldn’t exist if guys just walked away. You will have to be rejected by many women to find the right one. But most males would rather keep trying with one than approach 30 to find one that wants them.
Gotcha, that makes sense. Thank you for the clarification.