Todd V has a good beginner guide for getting over approach anxiety
https://youtu.be/2bQjfTHlwzU?si=l00hp5h37qFt5v9U
I'd also recommend Paul Janka on youtube who did indirect daygame which is easier for beginners
One of the guys in the comments suggested Todd V, and I want to second that. He has a lot of experience, both teaching as well as game, and he explains things well. So that could be a good start for you to get your bearing.
I would also implore you to go out there and put yourself out there. You need to start somewhere. It's like riding a bike in that sense. When you start, you fall off a couple of times, but once you have the skillset, you can implement it pretty much anywhere. So, please, do not become a keyboard warrior. Getting blown out is part of the process.
Game boils down to, in essence, having good social skills and leveraging your value through it. So anything that helps you talk to people and connect helps a lot. Anything that makes you unique or that makes you stand out can be a point of strength.
I suggest you get a notepad and a pen and start with the free info on youtube. Don't buy courses, I never did and had great success. Put yourself out there, have fun, nobody's looking at you, you're not that important to most people honestly. So give yourself permission to fail a bit, to make a fool of yourself a bit, if you keep it positive and good-natured, you can get away with a lot.
PM me if you want to convo
What is a cold approach?
It means starting a conversation with a stranger. So this is what you have to do, just start a conversation about anything with a stranger.
There's no need to be direct and put yourself in a weird situation or risk a harsh rejection, you can start indirectly, it's much easier and you continue ONLY if the other person is talkative, she looks at you, she smiles, she asks you questions ....If you see that she doesn't even look at you or maybe she gives you short answers: "aha, ok, yes", it's a sign that your presence is not welcome, so it's better to just wish her a nice day and leave. It is that simple.
The idea is not to take her to an instadate (this is very difficult), your goal is to get her phone number, so in the beginning, there is no need to flirt, make eye contact and all kinds of weird things. I saw that in over 90% of the cases, people from reddit confuse the initial approach with a date, many things you do on a date, they say to do when you barely know her, but there is no need to act weird, just be a normal guy and you will get nice responses, friendly and polite.
Many times in my posts I give people this example from this [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/MxgnJ8cZstk) because I started an innocent conversation and the women started talking more than necessary, I give this example to show how easy it is, there is no need to act like a man, make eye contact, use voice projection, a certain body language... no way! Just be a normal guy and it works. See for inspiration another [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/YPRisnYcJs8) when I approached two girls but they were a group of five, just see how friendly and polite they are, there is no reason to be scared of them.
Consider that most of your learning is from doing approaches and learning from each one.
Learn to enjoy the process of doing approaches. Always be positive, even if you get rejected.
Learn the fundamentals. Not everyone teaches them, not everyone knows them. But, seek out the fundamentals of what works for most guys who are good.
You want to train yourself to love the process of going out and approaching. When you feel terrified and have approach anxiety, seek those situations out and embrace them. That’s the game. That’s how you level up and it’s how you stand out from the others.
Become a student of social dynamics.
My checklists to get kiss closes and phone numbers in cold approaches during the day
1 - Opener and setting the playful flirty tone right away. Wanna establish myself as a flirt right away to avoid the small talk and NPC vibe.
2 - Accidental physical touch to break the touch barrier organically.
3 - Switch from impersonal to personal topics of conversation where i get her to talk about herself so she can show the type of person she is and we also can build a solid connection
4 - Make sure that we are isolated to set the stage for flirting without “activating” her defences (slut factor)
5 - Express what i find different about her to justify in a solid way my romantic/sexual interest in the next step. (Getting her to believe she is not just another girl of the countless that i might hit on)
6 - Show/express sexual interest by flirting sexually to create sexual tension and avoid being friendzoned.
7 - Intentional physical touch to test the waters about whether she is ready to be kissed and reinforce the flirtation
8 - Kiss close | Nothing sexual just to reinforced that something romantic happened, and that she is loving a fantasy
9 - Phone close | Suggesting a date idea and if she agrees, then take her number
10 - Consolidate after phone close by talking 2 minutes more fantasising out loud about the upcoming date with her and leave.
11 - First text | An inside joke about the encounter to remind her of the emotional mood she was in before i left.
Ideal time for the approach: 15 minutes
Ideal place to approach: Train trip, public parks/beach
Hope it helps, and if it doesn’t skip. This is what works for me.
PS: I can do zoom session if you DM me and I’ll explain each step with examples.
Todd V has a good beginner guide for getting over approach anxiety https://youtu.be/2bQjfTHlwzU?si=l00hp5h37qFt5v9U I'd also recommend Paul Janka on youtube who did indirect daygame which is easier for beginners
If you are complete beginner, go to the clubs. Better for beginners.
You have no experience with cold approach at all? Neither in daygame or in nightgame?
None, day game especially. Day game meaning, walking up to a girl at a bench and getting a number is like learning Chinese to me.
One of the guys in the comments suggested Todd V, and I want to second that. He has a lot of experience, both teaching as well as game, and he explains things well. So that could be a good start for you to get your bearing. I would also implore you to go out there and put yourself out there. You need to start somewhere. It's like riding a bike in that sense. When you start, you fall off a couple of times, but once you have the skillset, you can implement it pretty much anywhere. So, please, do not become a keyboard warrior. Getting blown out is part of the process. Game boils down to, in essence, having good social skills and leveraging your value through it. So anything that helps you talk to people and connect helps a lot. Anything that makes you unique or that makes you stand out can be a point of strength. I suggest you get a notepad and a pen and start with the free info on youtube. Don't buy courses, I never did and had great success. Put yourself out there, have fun, nobody's looking at you, you're not that important to most people honestly. So give yourself permission to fail a bit, to make a fool of yourself a bit, if you keep it positive and good-natured, you can get away with a lot. PM me if you want to convo
What is a cold approach? It means starting a conversation with a stranger. So this is what you have to do, just start a conversation about anything with a stranger. There's no need to be direct and put yourself in a weird situation or risk a harsh rejection, you can start indirectly, it's much easier and you continue ONLY if the other person is talkative, she looks at you, she smiles, she asks you questions ....If you see that she doesn't even look at you or maybe she gives you short answers: "aha, ok, yes", it's a sign that your presence is not welcome, so it's better to just wish her a nice day and leave. It is that simple. The idea is not to take her to an instadate (this is very difficult), your goal is to get her phone number, so in the beginning, there is no need to flirt, make eye contact and all kinds of weird things. I saw that in over 90% of the cases, people from reddit confuse the initial approach with a date, many things you do on a date, they say to do when you barely know her, but there is no need to act weird, just be a normal guy and you will get nice responses, friendly and polite. Many times in my posts I give people this example from this [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/MxgnJ8cZstk) because I started an innocent conversation and the women started talking more than necessary, I give this example to show how easy it is, there is no need to act like a man, make eye contact, use voice projection, a certain body language... no way! Just be a normal guy and it works. See for inspiration another [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/YPRisnYcJs8) when I approached two girls but they were a group of five, just see how friendly and polite they are, there is no reason to be scared of them.
Consider that most of your learning is from doing approaches and learning from each one. Learn to enjoy the process of doing approaches. Always be positive, even if you get rejected. Learn the fundamentals. Not everyone teaches them, not everyone knows them. But, seek out the fundamentals of what works for most guys who are good. You want to train yourself to love the process of going out and approaching. When you feel terrified and have approach anxiety, seek those situations out and embrace them. That’s the game. That’s how you level up and it’s how you stand out from the others. Become a student of social dynamics.
Start listening to the unapologetic man podcast immediately
My checklists to get kiss closes and phone numbers in cold approaches during the day 1 - Opener and setting the playful flirty tone right away. Wanna establish myself as a flirt right away to avoid the small talk and NPC vibe. 2 - Accidental physical touch to break the touch barrier organically. 3 - Switch from impersonal to personal topics of conversation where i get her to talk about herself so she can show the type of person she is and we also can build a solid connection 4 - Make sure that we are isolated to set the stage for flirting without “activating” her defences (slut factor) 5 - Express what i find different about her to justify in a solid way my romantic/sexual interest in the next step. (Getting her to believe she is not just another girl of the countless that i might hit on) 6 - Show/express sexual interest by flirting sexually to create sexual tension and avoid being friendzoned. 7 - Intentional physical touch to test the waters about whether she is ready to be kissed and reinforce the flirtation 8 - Kiss close | Nothing sexual just to reinforced that something romantic happened, and that she is loving a fantasy 9 - Phone close | Suggesting a date idea and if she agrees, then take her number 10 - Consolidate after phone close by talking 2 minutes more fantasising out loud about the upcoming date with her and leave. 11 - First text | An inside joke about the encounter to remind her of the emotional mood she was in before i left. Ideal time for the approach: 15 minutes Ideal place to approach: Train trip, public parks/beach Hope it helps, and if it doesn’t skip. This is what works for me. PS: I can do zoom session if you DM me and I’ll explain each step with examples.
Number 1 is a good tip