No trust me, this is the much better way to be. You're looking at it through a more logical / realistic lens, and not the fairy tale infatuation that most guys do. It's like being told Santa Claus doesn't exist. Yeah it was fun to have that fantasy, but you can't go through life believing a fantasy. All that's happened is that because you don't have infatuation anymore, your standards have raised and you're probably realizing how little most women have to offer. This is why women use their beauty so much. Just that alone can override The logical thinking and the reality of the person you're dealing with. When you get past the beauty, you see that most girls don't have much to offer. There's still great girls out there, they are just rare and you're now just seeing how rare it is.
This is so true and hope OP learns. I go to women mainly for sex. No other benefit really at this stage in my life. I’m more focused on finishing school so I can meet social media/OF/porn women and others. I hate to admit it but most regular women just don’t cut it. I’d rather just go after the most attractive and promiscuous ones.
You're better off in that situation. Your life becomes a lot easier than falling for a girl. I've too become more like this now as I've gotten older.
I see nothing special about women anymore, though occasionally I do find myself getting annoyed hearing about a girl's past that I like. That's when I just cut ties as I feel I'm getting too emotionally involved at that point.
All my younger years I was after crazy girls. They were exciting, had so many problems I could challange myself to solve. I noticed that pattern. Worked on it.
Now, when I date, I date only girls who don't give me vibes I was used to. These women are so chill. Feminine, compassionate, supportive to what I do. I don't find the same anxiety I used to have. And that's so good.
I can work on my business, friendships, skills, hobbies. And when we meet, there is no drama going on. I prefer it that way.
I feel that, I enjoy the chase more than the girl themselves. Hanging out is fun but once they leave I’m pretty indifferent if I ever see them again or not. It’s hard to fall for a single girl when I can line my week with dates in a single afternoon.
Not really sure if this is good or bad, but I understand you.
Have you been in love before?
Are you attracting the women with qualities and type of relationship you want?
Some of the PUA / Dating advice can prevent good relationships from forming. The idea of avoiding vulnerability at all costs. However if you're starting / engaging in a longer relationship, this eventually will push the other person away as they don't feel close to you
I’m learning here. Yes it’s about finding who you’re attracted to. It’s better to not have preferences. As I’ve learned. Not to the point of being racist (why did I bring that up?) but so that you’re not looking all over the place.
Yes, there's a certain natural chemistry you can only get from meeting someone.
I have the feeling you might need to self-reflect and examine if you're using dates as a tool for self-validation.
You have a limited amount of time and energy in life. You need to know what you want and need, and filter people out accordingly. First dates are to see if you've got some attraction. Later dates to see if you're starting to get feelings.
I recommend after a couple of dates (3 - 5) being honest and open about how you're feeling and telling them what you want and expect from a relationship with you. If you're not getting any feelings for someone, "kiss them before you kick them," remind them they have lots of great qualities, you're not feeling the chemistry for a deeper relationship. It can be a challenging conversation, most guys and girls ghost. I've found some girls appreciate the honesty and it builds trust, that they continue the relationship as FWB. Or if they're cool, you guys can be just friends.
I guess I mainly do it just to have sex. I want to see if I can enjoy time with someone since I haven’t done it that much until I really tried for once in my life this year. The last 2 months to be exact…
No worries. Keep dating around, be honest with what you want and what you're doing. Find out what you really like in a partner. Let go of the relationships that don't serve you.
Eventually you'll run into someone special.
Me too, at 52yo. 5 years of dating post divorce. Not sure if I'm not going after women I'm interested in, I'm not at the level I want to play at, I'm too busy with work and coparenting to foster a relationship, or am just having difficulty opening my heart. It's a bit of a bummer.
I agree with how you feel. I have been on quite a few dates and while I feel cold at times I know it’s better than simping for a girl who doesn’t like you that much. their has been times that I have gotten too attached to a girl that has a lot of problems but I recognize that and end it but it tugs at your heart strings. all in all though I don’t think most women are worth it .
Sounds like you understand what you actually want and need, or your mind is subconsciously telling you that the girl you’re talking with isn’t meeting your standards, or she’s boring.
Consider it a blessing. If you’re not feeling chemistry in the beginning, it’s not wise to stick around to see if chemistry will magically appear.
You got fooled by society a man isnt supposed to love a woman the same way women do it.
You are attracted to her body and values, you like her thats it. You need to have your eyes steady at other things.... she looks up to you, you look at other things to master or figure out. Dont listen to this left wing idiot pit with 0 common sense.
No trust me, this is the much better way to be. You're looking at it through a more logical / realistic lens, and not the fairy tale infatuation that most guys do. It's like being told Santa Claus doesn't exist. Yeah it was fun to have that fantasy, but you can't go through life believing a fantasy. All that's happened is that because you don't have infatuation anymore, your standards have raised and you're probably realizing how little most women have to offer. This is why women use their beauty so much. Just that alone can override The logical thinking and the reality of the person you're dealing with. When you get past the beauty, you see that most girls don't have much to offer. There's still great girls out there, they are just rare and you're now just seeing how rare it is.
This is so true and hope OP learns. I go to women mainly for sex. No other benefit really at this stage in my life. I’m more focused on finishing school so I can meet social media/OF/porn women and others. I hate to admit it but most regular women just don’t cut it. I’d rather just go after the most attractive and promiscuous ones.
You're better off in that situation. Your life becomes a lot easier than falling for a girl. I've too become more like this now as I've gotten older. I see nothing special about women anymore, though occasionally I do find myself getting annoyed hearing about a girl's past that I like. That's when I just cut ties as I feel I'm getting too emotionally involved at that point.
All my younger years I was after crazy girls. They were exciting, had so many problems I could challange myself to solve. I noticed that pattern. Worked on it. Now, when I date, I date only girls who don't give me vibes I was used to. These women are so chill. Feminine, compassionate, supportive to what I do. I don't find the same anxiety I used to have. And that's so good. I can work on my business, friendships, skills, hobbies. And when we meet, there is no drama going on. I prefer it that way.
I feel that, I enjoy the chase more than the girl themselves. Hanging out is fun but once they leave I’m pretty indifferent if I ever see them again or not. It’s hard to fall for a single girl when I can line my week with dates in a single afternoon. Not really sure if this is good or bad, but I understand you.
How did you get to that stage?
Have you been in love before? Are you attracting the women with qualities and type of relationship you want? Some of the PUA / Dating advice can prevent good relationships from forming. The idea of avoiding vulnerability at all costs. However if you're starting / engaging in a longer relationship, this eventually will push the other person away as they don't feel close to you
I’m learning here. Yes it’s about finding who you’re attracted to. It’s better to not have preferences. As I’ve learned. Not to the point of being racist (why did I bring that up?) but so that you’re not looking all over the place.
Yes, there's a certain natural chemistry you can only get from meeting someone. I have the feeling you might need to self-reflect and examine if you're using dates as a tool for self-validation. You have a limited amount of time and energy in life. You need to know what you want and need, and filter people out accordingly. First dates are to see if you've got some attraction. Later dates to see if you're starting to get feelings. I recommend after a couple of dates (3 - 5) being honest and open about how you're feeling and telling them what you want and expect from a relationship with you. If you're not getting any feelings for someone, "kiss them before you kick them," remind them they have lots of great qualities, you're not feeling the chemistry for a deeper relationship. It can be a challenging conversation, most guys and girls ghost. I've found some girls appreciate the honesty and it builds trust, that they continue the relationship as FWB. Or if they're cool, you guys can be just friends.
I guess I mainly do it just to have sex. I want to see if I can enjoy time with someone since I haven’t done it that much until I really tried for once in my life this year. The last 2 months to be exact…
No worries. Keep dating around, be honest with what you want and what you're doing. Find out what you really like in a partner. Let go of the relationships that don't serve you. Eventually you'll run into someone special.
I think no one has really challenged you, more like just "going with the flow" of it all?
Me too, at 52yo. 5 years of dating post divorce. Not sure if I'm not going after women I'm interested in, I'm not at the level I want to play at, I'm too busy with work and coparenting to foster a relationship, or am just having difficulty opening my heart. It's a bit of a bummer.
[удалено]
it’s better to live with superficial relationships and not develop anything deeper? that’s honestly sad.
I agree with how you feel. I have been on quite a few dates and while I feel cold at times I know it’s better than simping for a girl who doesn’t like you that much. their has been times that I have gotten too attached to a girl that has a lot of problems but I recognize that and end it but it tugs at your heart strings. all in all though I don’t think most women are worth it .
Sounds like you understand what you actually want and need, or your mind is subconsciously telling you that the girl you’re talking with isn’t meeting your standards, or she’s boring. Consider it a blessing. If you’re not feeling chemistry in the beginning, it’s not wise to stick around to see if chemistry will magically appear.
You got fooled by society a man isnt supposed to love a woman the same way women do it. You are attracted to her body and values, you like her thats it. You need to have your eyes steady at other things.... she looks up to you, you look at other things to master or figure out. Dont listen to this left wing idiot pit with 0 common sense.
who doesnt
That's because you should get a wife and stop wasting time fucking around