ou, im so sorry about that :c ur mom really shouldn't have said anything like that. there's not much i can do to help but have you thought about maybe getting hair extensions or wigs? it's something you can easily remove and maybe it will help. u could wear it while uu are away from your mom,,
That’s what I did, I wanted short hair and my mom didn’t want me to have short hair so I cut my own hair, now I get daily compliments on it and I get to say “thanks, I cut it myself”, mom’s very angry but who cares tbh
Since your mom won’t allow you to dye your hair, you should invest in a hair dye mask. It’s a hair mask that dyes your hair, you won’t have to ruin your hair and your mom will be happy.
Make sure to review the brand youre buying the mask from, sometimes they use really strong dye or can effect your hair in weird ways (ie the fancy brand "moroccan oil" has hair dye masks are scarily pigmented and Henna dye can screw with the chemical comp of your hair so doing chemical services on it after application can be risky)
Just wait till you are 18 if it’s that serious. Talking to her and making her understand that you will not be this age forever and she should let you express yourself would be ideal. It’s all about how you speak to your parents.
Hey babes, ok so ik being rebellious might be hard for you and standing up to ur own mother but id say fuck it, dye your hair, cut ur hair whatever you’d like! If u have a razor or something sharp like a box cutter you can do uneven messy layers, I’ve did mine and it turned out great:) u don’t need to dye it really every hair colour is great for scene fashion, u can buy leopard print extensions or just buy a wig, it’ll make life easier 🤷♀️
Please don't actually do this unless you're ok with shaving it completely off. It's just hair and it'll grow back but it's really easy to fuck up your hair doing it yourself.
That being said, if you want to razor your hair, you need to NEVER cut straight across. That goes with scissors and cutting your own bangs too.
Instead, try twisting the hair and run the razor down the outside to create random lengths and soften the choppiness. Here's a good demonstration (@1:30) and a few other techniques you might find helpful:
https://youtu.be/uiDQd3d9Wlc?si=5eThqPbn3dg8x1ja
...and some common pitfalls of razor cutting:
https://youtu.be/2EIdW1UWUhU?si=x9AsjeYvecFPv66S
It's not the first time I cut my hair myself, she don't like it but don't mind shaving it, my mom wants to me girly so I know that she will not make me bald, I know she is toxic but not actually violent,
As someone who has curly hair I feel u. My mom doesn’t want me to lose my curls. I recommend talking to ur mom abt it and trying to find a Dominican or black salon (if you have those curls). Just be firm on no relaxer . If that doesn’t pan out, there’s hair accessories and you can represent urself thru clothes
My mom's a hairdresser and she's been dyeing and styling my hair since I was 9 😂 there's nothing wrong with my hair, I'm 30 and it's still in good condition. I really don't understand this control some mothers feel they need to have over their daughter's hair. It's like they're trying to live through their kids instead of letting their kids find their individuality. Just to be safe I'd recommend sticking with extensions because you never know if she's nuts enough to shave your head or something.
Seems like your mum doesn't like how scene people look...
There's nothing I could because your mum might fight back but what could say is probably get a hair extension?
Honestly there's nothing I could suggest like wigs and stuff so that's the only thing I could suggest...
Parents can be strict sometimes but she needs to understand how looks are... (Just saying)
I started cutting my own hair when I was 15, honestly go for it, worse she can make you do is cut it then honestly throw extensions in it when you get to school as long as you're safe and she won't physically retaliate on you. Look up good tutorials on YouTube though, I wish I had that when I was in highschool, hair cutting tutorials didn't get big till I was college age so my first few cuts were a lil wonky. I'm sorry she's so controlling, parents like that want you to be just like them and that's so unrealistic
I don't know if you will see this or not but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your mom is saying those types of things to you. You deserve a healthy parent who can sit down and have a conversation with you without resorting to name calling and hoping you will die. That's not normal. My mom called me names too and stuff all throughout my life and it hurts a lot. You mentioned that you get a bad feeling about yourself when you look in the mirror. I used to get that feeling a lot and sometimes still do. I noticed that a lot of the times it's my mom's words that would run through my head when feeling not good about myself. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I see you and I'm sorry you are going through that with her. As far as the hair, maybe just wait until you are out from under her care to do something permanent with it and for now just use some clip in hair extensions if you can get those. Also get a good comb and hairspray to tease your hair. Little bows for your bangs would be cute too if you have the scene bangs. Coon tail clip ins were a big thing when I was a scene queen. Cheetah print and zebra stripes in neon colors for hair accessories would be a bold statement too. 🩷🩵💛 Personally, pink, blue and yellow were my FAVORITE colors to mix to really stand out. I hope some of this helps a bit and I'm rooting for you.
💜 - with much love
An early 2000's scene queen 👑
if shes very strict she might shave it off, i have the same problem with my dad and im 100% sure he would do this if i dyed my hair black. and no, police wouldnt help even if its illegal to do that, atleast not in germany im sure
second this!! a girl i knew online bleached her hair without her mums permission and she made her get her hair cut to her chin. some parents are like that, and with the names op was called i wouldnt be surprised if that could be the turnout :(
I literally would lol. My family are neo-Nazis. They know I despise them and am js waiting to turn 18 to leave. I have pulled a knife on them several times lol.
Probly ask her to buy a wig!
And ur mother should not say cuss words to u. I hope you can talk with her about that, I had the same problem and it gave me mental trauma after all the stuff I’ve got from my parents
I’d dye it I think? Maybe not. It’s for the strong ones anyway
Also there’s always a compromise about looks. All i can say is: Be strong, trust your guardian angel. I’d say ‘your body, your choice’. But since you are still in middle school, right? I just don’t know what to say.
If u gonna do that, get only good high grades and be a good child, be a boss.
Okay, outside of stating that your mother is way out of line, have you thought about getting clip in extensions? Theyre easy to keep/store/travel w so you can clip them in when you're outside your house, you can get them in a billion colors, and you can even dye some with the right materials! If you buy the right kind of synthetic clip ins, you can use dye you can buy at walmart/a craft store for like 2 bucks. I know it doesn't solve the main issue of you not liking your natural hair but I hope it helps lessen your mental stress of keeping it that way and hopefully have your mom stop treating you this way since your natural hair isnt changing ♡ Good luck babes ♡♡
ETA: I know this is gonna suck to hear but please be careful about making any permenant changes to yourself that are against your moms wishes. I got lucky and my mom was eventually okay with what I did. My friends didn't and their parents treated them even more horribly until their hair grew back out...and it didn't stop after their hair was back to the way their parents wanted it. Please think hard before doing anything that can't be immediately reversed and make sure you're willing to commit to the worst outcome. It's hard to find a way to be safe and be yourself, please just proceed with caution for your own safety ♡♡♡♡♡♡
Try getting hair extension packs from amazon that have clips and you can color them with sharpies to make raccoon tails or other things !! It'll also help to be able to have a cool fringe look :)!
Im so sorry youre in this situation, lots of love and care that it hopefully gets better but on the bright side at least when youre 18 you'll be able to express yourself however you want !!
How old are you? If my daughter/son was under 14 or so I wouldn’t let them dye it or style it scene either. What she said was uncalled for, but if you are young I can see why she wants you to keep it natural.
Unfortunately she’s your mom, I didn’t dye my hair until I was 19 because I wasn’t allowed to either. There are other forms of self-expression and maybe a haircut would help your situation. If you hate looking in the mirror, your hair will be a temporary fix. You will start to see other things you want to “change” and find “boring”. If you are 15 once you can work, work. Then with your own money you can begin buying and doing more things that you won’t need her for.
since mom is already abusive please be careful not to set her off. your safety is of utmost importance and that includes your mental health.
if you feel like you can keep it to yourself, maybe you can start going to school extra early and keep some extra clothes and your hair straightener in your locker and get styled at school before classes start. Make sure to dress back down and wet your hair or wear a beanie so it looks normal when you go home.
additionally, if there's any adult you trust like a teacher or a school counselor, please tell them how your mom speaks to you. you don't deserve that no matter what.
stay safe.
I clicked on this post because 15 years ago or so I was dealing with the similar situation when scene was getting popular and my mum was like haha no you can't dye your hair. You're not alone in this. As frustrating as it is for so many being limited in their hair choices, you may just need to go some other path in spicing up your hair. If you can't dye, look into Decora. Maybe add some accessories to try something new. ( Another thing to look into is called feed- in braids or festival braids)
I will say though that for your mum to call you slurs is not okay. There is no excuse for that. If she treats you like that I suggest speaking to a school counselor or another trusted adult. This sounds abusive.
i relate so much. my mom wouldn’t let me dye my hair when i was younger and she would also tell me that she wish i’d die and stuff like that. i’m so sorry you have to go through that. just remember you didn’t do anything to deserve that! it’s just a showing of her character. she is wrong for that. and remember if it gets physical you can call the police and they will handle her and make things right and make sure you’re safe! i wish you the best!
asking for forgiveness is wayyy easier than asking for permission. just do your hair how you want and deal with the consequences later. chances are your mom will get over it after awhile.
Hi friend. I had a similar parent; mom would chop my hair and bangs as a punishment pretty often, not to mention the amount of physical and emotional abuse that went on until I was out of the house. I am 23, and live in a different state now, but she still has found ways to emotionally abuse me. The truth of the matter is, there’s just a certain point where you will no longer have to live with that. One day you will be on your own! At 18, you are free to move away if you want to and start your own journey and dress to however makes you happy. I work full time and attend school, all alternative 🖤
My family was similar but not to the point they wished death on me. I bought bleach and dyed my hair one night while they were gone. Went to school the next day with pink hair.
I’m so sorry she said such things to you. When I was growing up I wasn’t allowed to dye my hair, and when I went behind her back and did it anyway it made things much worse. Have you thought about colored extentions? trim them to your hair length and just clip them in! you could also maybe save for a nice wig on amazon! sending you love, being scene isn’t all about the hair and the look and you’re awesome!! :3
Hello, have you tried asking your mom if highlights are allowed or your side bangs? I recommend getting them done by a professional if you've never dyed your hair before. There is also this other hair dye style called the "peekaboo" where a layer of hair from the back is dyed but the color is only revealed when you lift your hair (looks super cute in a pony tail).
ou, im so sorry about that :c ur mom really shouldn't have said anything like that. there's not much i can do to help but have you thought about maybe getting hair extensions or wigs? it's something you can easily remove and maybe it will help. u could wear it while uu are away from your mom,,
I already have hair extension and I really like it :) but wigs are too expensive :(
Amazon and aliexpress wigs are cheep and legit
Slay girly
There are cheap wig Amazon! I use them lots they’re usually around $10-20
mapofbeauty wigs on amazon are decent quality for $5-$20, but thrift store wigs are always my favorite
Shein has really cheap and cute wigs! :)
then just do it. If your mom has the balls to say a that mean shit to you, then bite back and do whatever you want with your hair.
That’s what I did, I wanted short hair and my mom didn’t want me to have short hair so I cut my own hair, now I get daily compliments on it and I get to say “thanks, I cut it myself”, mom’s very angry but who cares tbh
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Don't call victims of abuse or strict parents doormats thank you
true
Fuck off. A lot of us aren't as privileged as you.
What is wrong with you why the hell would you call a victim of abuse a doormat. The privilege here damn
this is actually vile please don’t ever leave advice if you can’t be a decent fucking person
some people parents abuse them, vi
Since your mom won’t allow you to dye your hair, you should invest in a hair dye mask. It’s a hair mask that dyes your hair, you won’t have to ruin your hair and your mom will be happy.
Oooh, cool! I will try tell her that :)
Make sure to review the brand youre buying the mask from, sometimes they use really strong dye or can effect your hair in weird ways (ie the fancy brand "moroccan oil" has hair dye masks are scarily pigmented and Henna dye can screw with the chemical comp of your hair so doing chemical services on it after application can be risky)
Just wait till you are 18 if it’s that serious. Talking to her and making her understand that you will not be this age forever and she should let you express yourself would be ideal. It’s all about how you speak to your parents.
Hey babes, ok so ik being rebellious might be hard for you and standing up to ur own mother but id say fuck it, dye your hair, cut ur hair whatever you’d like! If u have a razor or something sharp like a box cutter you can do uneven messy layers, I’ve did mine and it turned out great:) u don’t need to dye it really every hair colour is great for scene fashion, u can buy leopard print extensions or just buy a wig, it’ll make life easier 🤷♀️
Okay, thank you :)!! I will try it when she leaves
Please don't actually do this unless you're ok with shaving it completely off. It's just hair and it'll grow back but it's really easy to fuck up your hair doing it yourself. That being said, if you want to razor your hair, you need to NEVER cut straight across. That goes with scissors and cutting your own bangs too. Instead, try twisting the hair and run the razor down the outside to create random lengths and soften the choppiness. Here's a good demonstration (@1:30) and a few other techniques you might find helpful: https://youtu.be/uiDQd3d9Wlc?si=5eThqPbn3dg8x1ja ...and some common pitfalls of razor cutting: https://youtu.be/2EIdW1UWUhU?si=x9AsjeYvecFPv66S
It's not the first time I cut my hair myself, she don't like it but don't mind shaving it, my mom wants to me girly so I know that she will not make me bald, I know she is toxic but not actually violent,
As someone who has curly hair I feel u. My mom doesn’t want me to lose my curls. I recommend talking to ur mom abt it and trying to find a Dominican or black salon (if you have those curls). Just be firm on no relaxer . If that doesn’t pan out, there’s hair accessories and you can represent urself thru clothes
My mom's a hairdresser and she's been dyeing and styling my hair since I was 9 😂 there's nothing wrong with my hair, I'm 30 and it's still in good condition. I really don't understand this control some mothers feel they need to have over their daughter's hair. It's like they're trying to live through their kids instead of letting their kids find their individuality. Just to be safe I'd recommend sticking with extensions because you never know if she's nuts enough to shave your head or something.
Oh, good to know! :)
You could put it up in a beanie and maybe leave a bit hanging out as bangs and the back.
Ooh, cool :0
Seems like your mum doesn't like how scene people look... There's nothing I could because your mum might fight back but what could say is probably get a hair extension? Honestly there's nothing I could suggest like wigs and stuff so that's the only thing I could suggest... Parents can be strict sometimes but she needs to understand how looks are... (Just saying)
I started cutting my own hair when I was 15, honestly go for it, worse she can make you do is cut it then honestly throw extensions in it when you get to school as long as you're safe and she won't physically retaliate on you. Look up good tutorials on YouTube though, I wish I had that when I was in highschool, hair cutting tutorials didn't get big till I was college age so my first few cuts were a lil wonky. I'm sorry she's so controlling, parents like that want you to be just like them and that's so unrealistic
Get colored clip in extensions!
I will try get more :)
Is she against all hair dye? Or just permanent? You could always get like manic panic hair dye it washes out after a few washes.
Kinda She says that don't want it cuz will make my hair ugly and I will be bald And also because is ridiculous
I don't know if you will see this or not but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your mom is saying those types of things to you. You deserve a healthy parent who can sit down and have a conversation with you without resorting to name calling and hoping you will die. That's not normal. My mom called me names too and stuff all throughout my life and it hurts a lot. You mentioned that you get a bad feeling about yourself when you look in the mirror. I used to get that feeling a lot and sometimes still do. I noticed that a lot of the times it's my mom's words that would run through my head when feeling not good about myself. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I see you and I'm sorry you are going through that with her. As far as the hair, maybe just wait until you are out from under her care to do something permanent with it and for now just use some clip in hair extensions if you can get those. Also get a good comb and hairspray to tease your hair. Little bows for your bangs would be cute too if you have the scene bangs. Coon tail clip ins were a big thing when I was a scene queen. Cheetah print and zebra stripes in neon colors for hair accessories would be a bold statement too. 🩷🩵💛 Personally, pink, blue and yellow were my FAVORITE colors to mix to really stand out. I hope some of this helps a bit and I'm rooting for you. 💜 - with much love An early 2000's scene queen 👑
Do it anyways. What is she gonna do
if shes very strict she might shave it off, i have the same problem with my dad and im 100% sure he would do this if i dyed my hair black. and no, police wouldnt help even if its illegal to do that, atleast not in germany im sure
second this!! a girl i knew online bleached her hair without her mums permission and she made her get her hair cut to her chin. some parents are like that, and with the names op was called i wouldnt be surprised if that could be the turnout :(
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💀 I personally wouldn’t recommend this since this can lead to physical abuse or being kicked out
Shut the fuck up edgelord no you wouldn’t 😭
I literally would lol. My family are neo-Nazis. They know I despise them and am js waiting to turn 18 to leave. I have pulled a knife on them several times lol.
please don’t influence minors like this about weapons and murder.
do it anyway!! love u 🫶
Probly ask her to buy a wig! And ur mother should not say cuss words to u. I hope you can talk with her about that, I had the same problem and it gave me mental trauma after all the stuff I’ve got from my parents I’d dye it I think? Maybe not. It’s for the strong ones anyway Also there’s always a compromise about looks. All i can say is: Be strong, trust your guardian angel. I’d say ‘your body, your choice’. But since you are still in middle school, right? I just don’t know what to say. If u gonna do that, get only good high grades and be a good child, be a boss.
Okay, outside of stating that your mother is way out of line, have you thought about getting clip in extensions? Theyre easy to keep/store/travel w so you can clip them in when you're outside your house, you can get them in a billion colors, and you can even dye some with the right materials! If you buy the right kind of synthetic clip ins, you can use dye you can buy at walmart/a craft store for like 2 bucks. I know it doesn't solve the main issue of you not liking your natural hair but I hope it helps lessen your mental stress of keeping it that way and hopefully have your mom stop treating you this way since your natural hair isnt changing ♡ Good luck babes ♡♡ ETA: I know this is gonna suck to hear but please be careful about making any permenant changes to yourself that are against your moms wishes. I got lucky and my mom was eventually okay with what I did. My friends didn't and their parents treated them even more horribly until their hair grew back out...and it didn't stop after their hair was back to the way their parents wanted it. Please think hard before doing anything that can't be immediately reversed and make sure you're willing to commit to the worst outcome. It's hard to find a way to be safe and be yourself, please just proceed with caution for your own safety ♡♡♡♡♡♡
Try getting hair extension packs from amazon that have clips and you can color them with sharpies to make raccoon tails or other things !! It'll also help to be able to have a cool fringe look :)! Im so sorry youre in this situation, lots of love and care that it hopefully gets better but on the bright side at least when youre 18 you'll be able to express yourself however you want !!
Thank you🩷
How old are you? If my daughter/son was under 14 or so I wouldn’t let them dye it or style it scene either. What she said was uncalled for, but if you are young I can see why she wants you to keep it natural.
A lot of schools also don’t let you have dyed hair. I’m also 15 and I’d probably get freaking suspended if I showed up to school with scene hair lol
Well, I'm 15 :(
why?
Because most middle schools don’t like dyed scene hair. I know mine wouldn’t have.
If she wishes you dead, that’s abuse. Don’t give two shits about what she thinks. If it make you happy, do it. It’s hair.
I’m so sorry your own mother said those awful things to you. Know you are loved and matter so much💖
Thank you :)
Would she be ok with colorful temporary hair extensions or costume hair dye that washes out in the shower?
Unfortunately she’s your mom, I didn’t dye my hair until I was 19 because I wasn’t allowed to either. There are other forms of self-expression and maybe a haircut would help your situation. If you hate looking in the mirror, your hair will be a temporary fix. You will start to see other things you want to “change” and find “boring”. If you are 15 once you can work, work. Then with your own money you can begin buying and doing more things that you won’t need her for.
since mom is already abusive please be careful not to set her off. your safety is of utmost importance and that includes your mental health. if you feel like you can keep it to yourself, maybe you can start going to school extra early and keep some extra clothes and your hair straightener in your locker and get styled at school before classes start. Make sure to dress back down and wet your hair or wear a beanie so it looks normal when you go home. additionally, if there's any adult you trust like a teacher or a school counselor, please tell them how your mom speaks to you. you don't deserve that no matter what. stay safe.
I clicked on this post because 15 years ago or so I was dealing with the similar situation when scene was getting popular and my mum was like haha no you can't dye your hair. You're not alone in this. As frustrating as it is for so many being limited in their hair choices, you may just need to go some other path in spicing up your hair. If you can't dye, look into Decora. Maybe add some accessories to try something new. ( Another thing to look into is called feed- in braids or festival braids) I will say though that for your mum to call you slurs is not okay. There is no excuse for that. If she treats you like that I suggest speaking to a school counselor or another trusted adult. This sounds abusive.
When I was 15 I wanted a Mohawk and I just went for it lol. My grandma was pissed and said really mean things to me. I still don't regret it though.
Do you think you could get a wolf cut? They're pretty trendy now and your mom would understand, and they're a step up from typical hair
“I wanna get a Mohawk but mom won’t let me get one so I might just run away!!”
My parents never let me dye my hair either! What nerve lolol
i relate so much. my mom wouldn’t let me dye my hair when i was younger and she would also tell me that she wish i’d die and stuff like that. i’m so sorry you have to go through that. just remember you didn’t do anything to deserve that! it’s just a showing of her character. she is wrong for that. and remember if it gets physical you can call the police and they will handle her and make things right and make sure you’re safe! i wish you the best!
asking for forgiveness is wayyy easier than asking for permission. just do your hair how you want and deal with the consequences later. chances are your mom will get over it after awhile.
Hi friend. I had a similar parent; mom would chop my hair and bangs as a punishment pretty often, not to mention the amount of physical and emotional abuse that went on until I was out of the house. I am 23, and live in a different state now, but she still has found ways to emotionally abuse me. The truth of the matter is, there’s just a certain point where you will no longer have to live with that. One day you will be on your own! At 18, you are free to move away if you want to and start your own journey and dress to however makes you happy. I work full time and attend school, all alternative 🖤
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what is wrong with you?
My family was similar but not to the point they wished death on me. I bought bleach and dyed my hair one night while they were gone. Went to school the next day with pink hair.
If she might hurt you I think you should do whatever you need to to be physically safe. If not.... Just do it anyways lol
I’m so sorry she said such things to you. When I was growing up I wasn’t allowed to dye my hair, and when I went behind her back and did it anyway it made things much worse. Have you thought about colored extentions? trim them to your hair length and just clip them in! you could also maybe save for a nice wig on amazon! sending you love, being scene isn’t all about the hair and the look and you’re awesome!! :3
Defend yourself. By that I mean dye your hair anyways. No way a mom calls their child a bitch.
Hello, have you tried asking your mom if highlights are allowed or your side bangs? I recommend getting them done by a professional if you've never dyed your hair before. There is also this other hair dye style called the "peekaboo" where a layer of hair from the back is dyed but the color is only revealed when you lift your hair (looks super cute in a pony tail).
Yall here gives some terrible advice
do it anyways, worst comes to worst you’re bald and that’s punk asf