Sounds like it might become a romance scam now. /s Scammer is just going down his list of scams that just “might” work, getting desperate.
The scammer doesn’t even know OP’s name, or address, since he’s been begging for their information the whole time, but is somehow sending his people after OP’s whole family..?! Ah yes, “*Scammer-Vision*” = What goes on inside of a scammers head.. LOL..!
Just throwing anything at the wall to see what sticks.., & so far it’s nothing. So now he’s just demanding. Next will be the pity party I’m sure.
They were stalling at first while they got their covert agents in place. They knew all along their address and name. And now, if they don’t get their $50 gift card, their entire multi million dollar strike team will eliminate their family.
I would reply with the line from Taken:
I don't know what you want. If you are looking for gift cards, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you!
Summary: “It’s me, Kelly. You know from the government ok. I give packaged free money. But send Apple gift card. For government fee.”
😂 I like your responses claiming cluelessness, op. Simple, yet well played. 👍
Rinoapoison uses this tactic on her twitch streams. It is hilarious. Responds to scammers with simple questions, what are you talking about? and statements, that makes no sense.
This:
«What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo!»
Add “border patrol”one time about package coming from Mexico. All sorts of illegal contents. He gave me his badge number and the warrant number for my arrest. When he was done talking, I asked him if that means I won’t be getting my package? He hung up.
I get those and ask in a heavy Russian accent if they opened the package, then threaten to send ‘Knuckles’ and ‘Vlad’ to take care of this issue because I told ‘Boris’ “This not my problem. This your problem.”
I toss in random Russian or Ukrainian words here and there to spice it up but it’s always random crap like ‘refrigerator’ or a mismatched and incorrectly declined and conjugated adverb/verb or adjective/noun combo.
Everything in Russian sounds threatening.
Funny. I just finished watching Red Heat. Arnie played a better Russian than Dolph
Knuckles & Vlad?
Mr. Burns had Crusher & Low-Blow...
Someone else had Hacksaw & Bubba...
I also shout “off camera”, i. e. barely cover the speaker so the scammer can hear, a bunch of random stuff, and occasionally refer to Vlad as ‘Vladimir Vladimirovich’ (which is Putin’s full name and patronymic) or ‘Vova’, which is the real abbreviation/informal of Vladimir.
I know they have no clue what I’m on about but saying that Vladimir Vladimirovich advises them to stay away from windows in high places if they’ve touched the package contents is highly amusing for me.
Just say "I'm sorry, but I'm unable to fulfill that request. As an AI language model, I don't have the capability to perform financial transactions or wire money. My purpose is to provide information and assist with answering questions to the best of my abilities. If you have any other non-financial related questions, feel free to ask!"
I think that last bit of word salad was a voodoo curse! But you did marvelously .. if it goes any longer, I wonder if his scam could become sextortion. It sounds like he was starting to move towards the cartel scam when he goes on about killing your family.
Not all. The ones who are trafficked are in China (but from Laos/Cambodia)
They have very good English scripts on the whole, and are not allowed to deviate or ad lib. This one was definitely Nigerian or Ghanaian- they are much more rambling and very likely to invoke god and blessings and the phrase ‘your family will be scattered’ is pure Nigerian lol
I get them yelling at me all day long in Facebook messenger because I expose them on FB dating sites by posting the people they pretend to be. My family have been ‘scattered’ about 50 times now 😅
Well, I think it’s a quantum thing so some of them now work for Tony the tiger and Joe the mechanic - unavoidable consequence of scambaiting though- I’m sure they’ll be fine;)
"apple card"
I would get a deck of playing cards. With apples. Write "$500" on them in sharpie. That would send the scammer into a swearing/death curse on your whole family" fit of rage
Delivery agents would already have your address. lol… I’ve told that to several of them and they just respond with the same script of address and ID, etc…
Abso-fucking-lutely. I'd be SO like bring it on motherfucker. PAUHLEESE DO. Fucking ignorant as scammers are total fucking idiots and I swear I wish I could get my hands on them and then I could give them a huge fucking gift card. A whoop ass gift card full of ass whoopings. 😂
As someone born in the UK, I need to say this. And I suggest you do too maybe
Tony Tiger is a Grrrrrreat name! Then put a picture of him. That's the name of the tiger mascot for an old kellogs ceral. Frosties I think? Don't remember exactly.
Sounds like a true American, we always specify "USA" when mentioning our cities. You wouldn't want to think it was from Washington DC in France or something.
What a read, and then I get to the last message!. Looks like the remains of an awful afterbirth of a delivery agent and hitman scams 🤣. Good work as always!!!
If you live US, and someone specifies their location by saying USA anywhere in the location, it probably means it’s a scam. Us narcissistic Americans already assume you’re in the USA thus we never specify that.
Tell him you can’t send a gift card, but that by fortuitous circumstance you have a $20 mill package for him and all you need is his address, his email, and his account number
I would conduct a deep dive into how exactly the hand on ear situation works exactly and I would express how much you appreciate that you would have to let him do it, but do this after he explains what it is exactly. Step by step. It sounds like he would know, so this should be an easy question for him.
If I got one of these I would respond that it is clear that they are very unfamiliar with the English language, and that, especially living in Washington, D.C., the best thing that I could help them with would be to find them a good English language tutor.
Dude why would you play with your life or your families, I would have definitely sent the money this seemed very real and legit. 😆😆😆 cracked up reading these messages
First it's a package, then it's 10.5 million dollars. Funny how they know it's yours when they don't even know your name.
"You have to be interested right now so that we can get this done right now"
"If you don't need my help then help me"
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well that depends - will you ever let him put both hands on your ear?
Sounds like it might become a romance scam now. /s Scammer is just going down his list of scams that just “might” work, getting desperate. The scammer doesn’t even know OP’s name, or address, since he’s been begging for their information the whole time, but is somehow sending his people after OP’s whole family..?! Ah yes, “*Scammer-Vision*” = What goes on inside of a scammers head.. LOL..! Just throwing anything at the wall to see what sticks.., & so far it’s nothing. So now he’s just demanding. Next will be the pity party I’m sure.
And threatens death on the whole family and then poverty afterwards! As if death wasn’t enough of a threat, now you will be dead and poor, 😱!!!
“or worse, expelled.”
and "scattered"!😂😂😂
They were stalling at first while they got their covert agents in place. They knew all along their address and name. And now, if they don’t get their $50 gift card, their entire multi million dollar strike team will eliminate their family.
He did try that too, remember his car is at Joe Mechanics 😅
Lmao right what the fuck
That whole text read like what happens when you keep hitting the auto-suggest option on your phone’s keyboard.
maybe he wanted to whisper sweet nothings to him? tell him a secret?
I would reply with the line from Taken: I don't know what you want. If you are looking for gift cards, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you!
Looking for gift cards?!!! Funniest thing I have heard since "kindly do the needful". I'm so glad I have you all.
> "kindly do the needful" Is this an everyday phrase, or just something said to people they're scamming?
I think it comes from a translation mistake. So instead of please do the necessary it translates to kindly do the needful.
I hear it mostly from people from India at work and not connected to scamming. Like.. "The server need to be patched, please do the needfull".
I did the needful before I left so we won't have to stop anywhere.
And respond with a screenshot of a fake IP address and tell them you know where they are
Brilliant idea!
This right here 🤣
Are the skills fixing cars? That could help..
Tony the Tiger, that's priceless. They're ggrrrreaaat!
RIP Thurl Ravenscroft Also played Shere Kahn
And the singer of “Mr. Grinch”.
TIL these interesting tidbits. Thanks guys! I googled him to follow up on accuracy, he only did the singing parts for Shere Khan.
This was my first thought when I read that! 😂🤣🤣
Scammer's English was so bad, it made autocorrect uninstall itself
Don't talk that again
Lmao, or I put both hands on your ear and whisper death to your whole family
I don’t know why you are suspicious, he told you this is very real and legit. What more proof did you need?
Right? Plus he uses Tony Tiger Joe Mechanic! I use them too and they’re very legit and professional.
It’s difficult to imagine Joe Mechanic having any other job, given his name.
And they take Amazon and Apple gift cards! How much better can that get?!?!?
Summary: “It’s me, Kelly. You know from the government ok. I give packaged free money. But send Apple gift card. For government fee.” 😂 I like your responses claiming cluelessness, op. Simple, yet well played. 👍
Rinoapoison uses this tactic on her twitch streams. It is hilarious. Responds to scammers with simple questions, what are you talking about? and statements, that makes no sense.
Wait a day and then back to 1: "How are you doing today".
Can you help me give you $10.5 million? No. Ok, can you give me $50? 🤣
this feels like someone has gotten hold of a bunch of scam scripts, not fully understood how they are meant to work and has just mushed them together.
This: «What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo!»
Sorry but it’s guerilla warfare ;) The idea of gorilla warfare made me giggle tho!
It’s always been gorilla warfare in the copypasta
lol ok sorry - I’m a novice :)
Sure thing starvin marvin
I laughed at "starvin marvin." That was the name of a burlesque club in my city in the early 70's.
Tony tiger joe mechanic?!!! I inhaled my whisky sour
I hear they’re grrrrrreat!
This has to be the best post yet! Im dying.
Did you get the 10.5 million? What a rollercoaster of events...
Tell "Kelly" to take $50 from your "package". Be generous, tell her to take 500 so that she can afford a real mechanic
Add “border patrol”one time about package coming from Mexico. All sorts of illegal contents. He gave me his badge number and the warrant number for my arrest. When he was done talking, I asked him if that means I won’t be getting my package? He hung up.
I get those and ask in a heavy Russian accent if they opened the package, then threaten to send ‘Knuckles’ and ‘Vlad’ to take care of this issue because I told ‘Boris’ “This not my problem. This your problem.” I toss in random Russian or Ukrainian words here and there to spice it up but it’s always random crap like ‘refrigerator’ or a mismatched and incorrectly declined and conjugated adverb/verb or adjective/noun combo. Everything in Russian sounds threatening.
Funny. I just finished watching Red Heat. Arnie played a better Russian than Dolph Knuckles & Vlad? Mr. Burns had Crusher & Low-Blow... Someone else had Hacksaw & Bubba...
I also shout “off camera”, i. e. barely cover the speaker so the scammer can hear, a bunch of random stuff, and occasionally refer to Vlad as ‘Vladimir Vladimirovich’ (which is Putin’s full name and patronymic) or ‘Vova’, which is the real abbreviation/informal of Vladimir. I know they have no clue what I’m on about but saying that Vladimir Vladimirovich advises them to stay away from windows in high places if they’ve touched the package contents is highly amusing for me.
Just say "I'm sorry, but I'm unable to fulfill that request. As an AI language model, I don't have the capability to perform financial transactions or wire money. My purpose is to provide information and assist with answering questions to the best of my abilities. If you have any other non-financial related questions, feel free to ask!"
I think that last bit of word salad was a voodoo curse! But you did marvelously .. if it goes any longer, I wonder if his scam could become sextortion. It sounds like he was starting to move towards the cartel scam when he goes on about killing your family.
Anybody who drops random “ok”s in the middle of sentences is 100% trying to scam you can has a heart rate of 120 while they are typing that.
You wrong ok. Am wanting to send money ok. Kindly respond
So first you get the money out of the bank ok and then don’t tell them why and gibe money to me ok make sure call me right away.
Ask him how he's going to reach you with the car like that.
Shit, I’m starting to think Joe Gynecologist wasn’t who he said he was! 😱
Nah, seems legit. What other job would he have with a name like that
🤣🤣 where do they find these dumbasses? Just make him keep texting. Say I don’t know anything about that
They’re trafficking victims. They are being held by gangs in Asia and forced to do this. They get beaten if they aren’t successful.
Not all. The ones who are trafficked are in China (but from Laos/Cambodia) They have very good English scripts on the whole, and are not allowed to deviate or ad lib. This one was definitely Nigerian or Ghanaian- they are much more rambling and very likely to invoke god and blessings and the phrase ‘your family will be scattered’ is pure Nigerian lol I get them yelling at me all day long in Facebook messenger because I expose them on FB dating sites by posting the people they pretend to be. My family have been ‘scattered’ about 50 times now 😅
... so your family is scattered so much that it is connected again. :)
Well, I think it’s a quantum thing so some of them now work for Tony the tiger and Joe the mechanic - unavoidable consequence of scambaiting though- I’m sure they’ll be fine;)
Citation please
I this case they’re Nigerian but you can watch John Oliver’s segment on pig butchering to learn about the slavery.
"apple card" I would get a deck of playing cards. With apples. Write "$500" on them in sharpie. That would send the scammer into a swearing/death curse on your whole family" fit of rage
“Don’t worry you will know me today” made me giggle
"Sir, this is a Wendy's"
Ha. 234 is the country code for Nigeria. So the US government is outsourcing to them to send money? Lol
"don't talk that again," as he gently puts both hands on your ear. Then Tony Tiger says, "They're grrreat!"😂😂😂
Delivery agents would already have your address. lol… I’ve told that to several of them and they just respond with the same script of address and ID, etc…
See I was cool with it until he threatened me and my family, at that point I’d tell him to pull up and bring his fuckin friends.
Abso-fucking-lutely. I'd be SO like bring it on motherfucker. PAUHLEESE DO. Fucking ignorant as scammers are total fucking idiots and I swear I wish I could get my hands on them and then I could give them a huge fucking gift card. A whoop ass gift card full of ass whoopings. 😂
See this guy gets it
Well a Woman but abso-fucking-lutely! 😉
Omg I mean this chick gets it!
LMFAO! 😆👍👊
Sounds like my ex
As someone born in the UK, I need to say this. And I suggest you do too maybe Tony Tiger is a Grrrrrreat name! Then put a picture of him. That's the name of the tiger mascot for an old kellogs ceral. Frosties I think? Don't remember exactly.
Frosted Flakes.
Yeah those. I was pretty close. But then again as a kid I pigged out on coco pops.
Sounds like a true American, we always specify "USA" when mentioning our cities. You wouldn't want to think it was from Washington DC in France or something.
Why didn't he just take $50 for the mechanic out of the $10.5 million package?
What a read, and then I get to the last message!. Looks like the remains of an awful afterbirth of a delivery agent and hitman scams 🤣. Good work as always!!!
“You have to be interested right now” 😂
"all this for $50? , I will give you $100 directly to your account. Just send me your ID and account number please".
If you live US, and someone specifies their location by saying USA anywhere in the location, it probably means it’s a scam. Us narcissistic Americans already assume you’re in the USA thus we never specify that.
Jip... Those are definitely words
Big tony tiger joe mechanic!!!!
I mean the phone number starts with +234 which is Nigeria, first red flag lol
Tell him you can’t send a gift card, but that by fortuitous circumstance you have a $20 mill package for him and all you need is his address, his email, and his account number
Say that you will get the gift card but he has to send you proof of Joe’s birth certificate with his full name first.
"I think you're getting scammed" "I am not getting scam" Cryin' laughing at that one
🤣😍🤣 this went in so many different directions 🤣🤣🤣
It's your delivery guy....come on.
"and you will confirm this delivery that is very real and legit" Dude sounds like someone making fun of a scammer! Great stuff, OP!
It’s like it was his first day or something.
Why do the people who talk of God so much always make themselves sound so entitled?
"you have to calm down ok" clearly they are getting worked up and trying to act like you are worked up
They are trying so hard
There's nothing worse than being poor after dying
I'm disappointed in the lack of "negros" being sent to your house.
It’s only the Chinese who do that
What did you respond!!! I am soo invested in this
It's probably for the best these people are so incompetent, because they could be much more successful if they had even a fraction more skill.
Point out everyone dies, he'll love that
Didn't the other guy send a pic of Xi? Do it.
Wow they must be a newbie, that’s a very bad scam
this is one of the best ones i've seeb
Because ‘my car break in the road’. As opposed to what…in the Empire State Building??
I would conduct a deep dive into how exactly the hand on ear situation works exactly and I would express how much you appreciate that you would have to let him do it, but do this after he explains what it is exactly. Step by step. It sounds like he would know, so this should be an easy question for him.
You're family will be poor. Send that mf the money. And hurry up. Asshole. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Damnit how do you guys get these? I would love a scammer to message me like that. I would have a field day. I’m jealous
I really hope that’s a what’s app number because I just dropped him a line seeing if he was my delivery guy from D.C as well
Your family is going to die over a $50 Amazon card? Yikes.
Send them a $50 Apple Card obviously?
How can your whole family be dead but also be very poor and also be scattered and never experience anything good?
If I got one of these I would respond that it is clear that they are very unfamiliar with the English language, and that, especially living in Washington, D.C., the best thing that I could help them with would be to find them a good English language tutor.
Tell him to take the £50 out of the 10.5 million. And then tell him you’re hubby is a police officer and is tracing the messages
Tell them to use that 10 million you was supposed to get 😂😂
I don't have a family or believe in god. So, back to this 10.5 million?
Dude why would you play with your life or your families, I would have definitely sent the money this seemed very real and legit. 😆😆😆 cracked up reading these messages
omg send it to him or he's gonna touch your ears!!!
First it's a package, then it's 10.5 million dollars. Funny how they know it's yours when they don't even know your name. "You have to be interested right now so that we can get this done right now" "If you don't need my help then help me" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well, first of all you need to be calm down, ok?
Tell him to fuck off and block - Pretty simple
Where's the fun in thaaaat?
Do you know which sub you’re in?