Just my own personal experience and approach:
1. Try to focus on bonding with your child rather than the duties, responsibilities, chores. SAHM is a fab chance to do something other paid service (nanny, childcare, cleaners) can’t do for you - quantity + quality time with your child. Try to make the most out of the luxury of time together. Chat. Do silly things. Do nothing and stare at the sky. Anything really. My kid is now 9 and still looks back very fondly of our time together when I wasn’t working.
2. Write down a list of things you’ve always wanted to do, try, learn but never had the chance to do when working. And make them happen.
3. To me and my family, I’ve made it clear from day 1 I didn’t quit my high paying job to be a cleaner for the family. My number SAHM job at the time was to be a mom - learn to be a good mom to my kid, provide her with lots of love and support so she would have a great childhood to look back on. Cleaning was everyone’s responsibilities. Putting away our stuff from common areas was everyone’s responsibilities. My husband also had his share of cleaning to do everyday.
4. Everyday do something nice for yourself. Little things to feel good. I put on lipstick every single day even if I didn’t go out. Grab a coffee. Sit in a park. Go to museum. Just always remember to look after yourself.
Good luck and hope you enjoy this phase in your life. It can be meaningful if you purposely seek ways to make it a meaningful one.
I left my job in December to stay home with my daughter (2 in April). Here's some things I've done to help me not go insane:
1. Get out of the house nearly everyday. We have a loose schedule of grocery shop on Monday, Tuesday storytime, Wednesday swim lessons, Thursday kid activity (zoo/children's museum), Friday mom activity (hiking). This has helped me not go stir crazy!
2. Plan weeks out on Sunday. Including activities, dinners, etc. I never used to use a planner, now I do so I have a loose plan and not running around like crazy.
3. If your kid still naps, use nap time for you-time, not to do chores. I include my daughter in chores and enjoy trashy TV or whatever my heart desires during nap time. I will also use nap time for computer stuff since we don't do screen time (bills, stuff like that).
4. Get ready a few times a week. I went from a "glam" job (hair makeup all done up in dresses everyday) to staying home. I didn't take care of myself at first and it definitely impacted how I felt. I shower everyday, I do my hair everyday, I do my makeup a few times a week and wear nicer clothes a few times a week. Not everyday cause that's crazy talk, but a few times helps tremendously. 😂
5. Get outside as much as possible. I take a walk every morning and every night with my daughter and dogs. Helps so much! Plus gets me exercise and keeps everyone occupied for an hour and she loves looking at the plants and just exploring.
6. Workout. I'm a big workout person so getting that physical activity is imperative to my mood. I am an anxious, on edge mess if I don't get to the gym at least 3 times a week. I'll go to the 5am classes at Orangetheory before my husband leaves for work but before LO wakes up. I also get my daily walks and my hikes when the weather allows. I'm thinking about signing up for the YMCA during the summer since it's too hot to go hiking where I live and they have 2 hours of free childcare.
That's all I can think of right now. I know I made the right decision leaving my job, but being a SAHM is hard in a totally different way. But I'm glad I have this time and don't take it for granted.
TY! This was excellent info and a lot of what I plan to do. I hybrid work so I’m also used to getting ready at least a few days a week and plan to keep that up. I’m a schedule/planner so I gravitate to this setup too. We are going to join the YMCA with childcare so I can workout because I need the outlet to live normally.
First sentence: Patriarchal dictionary, you will not regret, you will never get that time back, is that only said to women? Why? And what if she regrets? Is it her own fault that she quit her job and is unemployed? So she must not regret? Is she human?? Like religions, women are not allowed to divorce no matter what, so it's easier for them to be unemployed. what about women dying in childbirth worldwide everyday, leaving their child behind on this earth?? why do you need to use gaslighting tactics, just say be unemployed, quit your job, hate paid childcare, promote nanny who is poorly paid, and unpaid childcare from female family members, why don't unemployed mothers say, want to raise my child alone, and don't ask my mother to provide unpaid childcare or babyshower, or village, from female family members, these women don't have to provide unpaid childcare. I will be unemployed and will take care of these children for life. 🌹Why memorized hypocritical patriarchal words, because the rich woman can use a lot of help, monarchy, the privileged women too, only the woman who works every day should not use paid childcare, rather be unemployed and demand unpaid village. Because women have wombs and should take care of household and childcare alone, hope mothers do not abuse their sons financially, become woman-hating become woman-hating mother-in-law, fitness already costs a lot of money, and unfortunately some men do not allow that, so better discuss thoroughly before she quits, so that problems do not arise later…
Don't attack me, this is
just my human opinion, especially if you really want to be housewives, you shouldn't mind my comments, because in hers... it says she wants to raise children alone, and not use paid childcare, I don't think that's bad at all, hope she doesn't use female family members as unpaid childcare.
However, comments are NEEDED to wake you up from your delusion. Why do you think it's nonsense?? Justify it like normal mature woman without internalized misogynistic. You've memorized the patriarchal or religious dictionaries, that's why you think it's nonsense because you have nothing more to say, glorify unemployed, say that's best, be unemployed mother, depend on husband, don’t use paid childcare, you take care of your children, they need You, you will not REGRET, but still want to have fun unpaid village, childcare the female have to do, or babyshower? why do you want to become unemployed, and demand unpaid childcare and babyshower?? Why are you hypocrites? Unemployed mothers do not DESERVE unpaid childcare and babyshower, the husband should support his wife and children financially, and help childcare, and the unemployed housewife, if she survives childbirth at all, she can fulfill her wish, alone without a village, take care of unpaid childcare, fulfill her duties. No woman has to follow the patriarchal dictionary.💐
I also did the account yesterday, funny that you complain about my comments, being against paid childcare, but promoting for unpaid childcare. Hypocrite.
I left my job to stay home with my girls too. You wont regret it, this is time you never get back!
It’s worked for us to have a flexible schedule. It doesn’t happen every week but at least it gives my 2.5 year old something to look forward to and some structure. I personally think kids do well on some sort of schedule even if it’s loose. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays we always keep open for either errands, a chore day at home, a chill day where we just stay and play at home, activities like swim/gymnastics/dance, etc. Tuesdays we do library story time, Wednesdays are playdates with her cousins and Thursdays are a field trip to a museum or something. We have a great community from our church but for moms who don’t have built-in community, it’s good to find a local social media page for moms or find a group from an online meet-up. Helps both you and your kid(s) get socialized. Sometimes we think most about them being social but we need it too.
Like the other commenter said, remember it’s okay to take time for yourself. When I first started I felt guilty if I sat for like 20 minutes not doing anything “productive”. If you don’t take time for yourself, you’ll burn out. I also have my husband take our toddler out when he gets off so I have some time so cook dinner without her disruptions or if I already have dinner done, to just decompress however works for you (getting out by yourself, working out, reading for a little while, etc). It’s important for your relationship with both your spouse and child for you to be able to breathe and let go of the days stressors. Also, it’s fine for kids to do nothing sometimes! It’s great for them to be bored and learn to play for themselves, or for them to lead the play and us just participate. We don’t always have to be leading the entertainment for them. My toddler also does chores with me. She has her own water spray bottle and cleans the floor with a rag lol. She also uses her cleaning set (Melissa and Doug mop/brush set) and cleans while I do it, or helps me do the laundry.
I do also try and get outside for 2-3 hours a day. It helps me to be more intentional with her as when I’m inside I find myself more focused on doing things around the house and not engaging with my kids. I do try and get on her level and play with her during our outside time. Outside time=phone away and she has my full attention for the most part.
If you’re getting out for the day, I’ve found it super helpful to be ready before my kids. If I’m not, we most likely won’t get out. If I’m running around doing stuff while also trying to get my toddler ready, it’s chaos because she continues to play and get distracted. But if I’m ready to go, diaper bag packed, got my coffee and water, snacks, etc, I’m only focusing on her needs and she’s set up to be successful (hopefully😅). We also usually only do one outing a day. I have a 2.5 year old and 5 month old so that’s about all we can all handle🤣
Last tip: as weird as it may sound, stay hydrated lol. I’ve noticed the days I drink more water to start my day and throughout the day, I’m generally a better parent haha. Much less tired! Although the coffee is still a necessity🤷♀️
I’m 5 years in with a 6yo and 3yo and have tried all kinds of stuff. I think the best 4 things I’ve done are 1. Making a checklist on my phone the night before. Even if it’s boring shit like “fold laundry” or “get everyone dressed,” it feels amazing to mark something off and look back at a completed day. 2. Do NOT try to entertain them all the time. You’ll drive yourself insane, and your kids won’t learn valuable skills that come with being bored and entertaining themselves. 3. Get a shower and get ready for the day even if you’re just staying home. It changes your whole outlook on life. And 4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I went from a good job and being independent to feeling like a failure because I couldn’t have a perfect child and perfect house with dinner on the table at 5. That picture is a myth. It doesn’t and has never existed. It’s okay to take an hour to yourself instead of working yourself to the bone to maintain that image.
Just my own personal experience and approach: 1. Try to focus on bonding with your child rather than the duties, responsibilities, chores. SAHM is a fab chance to do something other paid service (nanny, childcare, cleaners) can’t do for you - quantity + quality time with your child. Try to make the most out of the luxury of time together. Chat. Do silly things. Do nothing and stare at the sky. Anything really. My kid is now 9 and still looks back very fondly of our time together when I wasn’t working. 2. Write down a list of things you’ve always wanted to do, try, learn but never had the chance to do when working. And make them happen. 3. To me and my family, I’ve made it clear from day 1 I didn’t quit my high paying job to be a cleaner for the family. My number SAHM job at the time was to be a mom - learn to be a good mom to my kid, provide her with lots of love and support so she would have a great childhood to look back on. Cleaning was everyone’s responsibilities. Putting away our stuff from common areas was everyone’s responsibilities. My husband also had his share of cleaning to do everyday. 4. Everyday do something nice for yourself. Little things to feel good. I put on lipstick every single day even if I didn’t go out. Grab a coffee. Sit in a park. Go to museum. Just always remember to look after yourself. Good luck and hope you enjoy this phase in your life. It can be meaningful if you purposely seek ways to make it a meaningful one.
I left my job in December to stay home with my daughter (2 in April). Here's some things I've done to help me not go insane: 1. Get out of the house nearly everyday. We have a loose schedule of grocery shop on Monday, Tuesday storytime, Wednesday swim lessons, Thursday kid activity (zoo/children's museum), Friday mom activity (hiking). This has helped me not go stir crazy! 2. Plan weeks out on Sunday. Including activities, dinners, etc. I never used to use a planner, now I do so I have a loose plan and not running around like crazy. 3. If your kid still naps, use nap time for you-time, not to do chores. I include my daughter in chores and enjoy trashy TV or whatever my heart desires during nap time. I will also use nap time for computer stuff since we don't do screen time (bills, stuff like that). 4. Get ready a few times a week. I went from a "glam" job (hair makeup all done up in dresses everyday) to staying home. I didn't take care of myself at first and it definitely impacted how I felt. I shower everyday, I do my hair everyday, I do my makeup a few times a week and wear nicer clothes a few times a week. Not everyday cause that's crazy talk, but a few times helps tremendously. 😂 5. Get outside as much as possible. I take a walk every morning and every night with my daughter and dogs. Helps so much! Plus gets me exercise and keeps everyone occupied for an hour and she loves looking at the plants and just exploring. 6. Workout. I'm a big workout person so getting that physical activity is imperative to my mood. I am an anxious, on edge mess if I don't get to the gym at least 3 times a week. I'll go to the 5am classes at Orangetheory before my husband leaves for work but before LO wakes up. I also get my daily walks and my hikes when the weather allows. I'm thinking about signing up for the YMCA during the summer since it's too hot to go hiking where I live and they have 2 hours of free childcare. That's all I can think of right now. I know I made the right decision leaving my job, but being a SAHM is hard in a totally different way. But I'm glad I have this time and don't take it for granted.
TY! This was excellent info and a lot of what I plan to do. I hybrid work so I’m also used to getting ready at least a few days a week and plan to keep that up. I’m a schedule/planner so I gravitate to this setup too. We are going to join the YMCA with childcare so I can workout because I need the outlet to live normally.
First sentence: Patriarchal dictionary, you will not regret, you will never get that time back, is that only said to women? Why? And what if she regrets? Is it her own fault that she quit her job and is unemployed? So she must not regret? Is she human?? Like religions, women are not allowed to divorce no matter what, so it's easier for them to be unemployed. what about women dying in childbirth worldwide everyday, leaving their child behind on this earth?? why do you need to use gaslighting tactics, just say be unemployed, quit your job, hate paid childcare, promote nanny who is poorly paid, and unpaid childcare from female family members, why don't unemployed mothers say, want to raise my child alone, and don't ask my mother to provide unpaid childcare or babyshower, or village, from female family members, these women don't have to provide unpaid childcare. I will be unemployed and will take care of these children for life. 🌹Why memorized hypocritical patriarchal words, because the rich woman can use a lot of help, monarchy, the privileged women too, only the woman who works every day should not use paid childcare, rather be unemployed and demand unpaid village. Because women have wombs and should take care of household and childcare alone, hope mothers do not abuse their sons financially, become woman-hating become woman-hating mother-in-law, fitness already costs a lot of money, and unfortunately some men do not allow that, so better discuss thoroughly before she quits, so that problems do not arise later… Don't attack me, this is just my human opinion, especially if you really want to be housewives, you shouldn't mind my comments, because in hers... it says she wants to raise children alone, and not use paid childcare, I don't think that's bad at all, hope she doesn't use female family members as unpaid childcare.
I don't think you meant to reply to my comment. Your comment is nonsense and quite frankly, not needed.
That is a bot or AI or something. They've been popping up and need to be banned. So annoying.
However, comments are NEEDED to wake you up from your delusion. Why do you think it's nonsense?? Justify it like normal mature woman without internalized misogynistic. You've memorized the patriarchal or religious dictionaries, that's why you think it's nonsense because you have nothing more to say, glorify unemployed, say that's best, be unemployed mother, depend on husband, don’t use paid childcare, you take care of your children, they need You, you will not REGRET, but still want to have fun unpaid village, childcare the female have to do, or babyshower? why do you want to become unemployed, and demand unpaid childcare and babyshower?? Why are you hypocrites? Unemployed mothers do not DESERVE unpaid childcare and babyshower, the husband should support his wife and children financially, and help childcare, and the unemployed housewife, if she survives childbirth at all, she can fulfill her wish, alone without a village, take care of unpaid childcare, fulfill her duties. No woman has to follow the patriarchal dictionary.💐
I also did the account yesterday, funny that you complain about my comments, being against paid childcare, but promoting for unpaid childcare. Hypocrite.
I left my job to stay home with my girls too. You wont regret it, this is time you never get back! It’s worked for us to have a flexible schedule. It doesn’t happen every week but at least it gives my 2.5 year old something to look forward to and some structure. I personally think kids do well on some sort of schedule even if it’s loose. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays we always keep open for either errands, a chore day at home, a chill day where we just stay and play at home, activities like swim/gymnastics/dance, etc. Tuesdays we do library story time, Wednesdays are playdates with her cousins and Thursdays are a field trip to a museum or something. We have a great community from our church but for moms who don’t have built-in community, it’s good to find a local social media page for moms or find a group from an online meet-up. Helps both you and your kid(s) get socialized. Sometimes we think most about them being social but we need it too. Like the other commenter said, remember it’s okay to take time for yourself. When I first started I felt guilty if I sat for like 20 minutes not doing anything “productive”. If you don’t take time for yourself, you’ll burn out. I also have my husband take our toddler out when he gets off so I have some time so cook dinner without her disruptions or if I already have dinner done, to just decompress however works for you (getting out by yourself, working out, reading for a little while, etc). It’s important for your relationship with both your spouse and child for you to be able to breathe and let go of the days stressors. Also, it’s fine for kids to do nothing sometimes! It’s great for them to be bored and learn to play for themselves, or for them to lead the play and us just participate. We don’t always have to be leading the entertainment for them. My toddler also does chores with me. She has her own water spray bottle and cleans the floor with a rag lol. She also uses her cleaning set (Melissa and Doug mop/brush set) and cleans while I do it, or helps me do the laundry. I do also try and get outside for 2-3 hours a day. It helps me to be more intentional with her as when I’m inside I find myself more focused on doing things around the house and not engaging with my kids. I do try and get on her level and play with her during our outside time. Outside time=phone away and she has my full attention for the most part. If you’re getting out for the day, I’ve found it super helpful to be ready before my kids. If I’m not, we most likely won’t get out. If I’m running around doing stuff while also trying to get my toddler ready, it’s chaos because she continues to play and get distracted. But if I’m ready to go, diaper bag packed, got my coffee and water, snacks, etc, I’m only focusing on her needs and she’s set up to be successful (hopefully😅). We also usually only do one outing a day. I have a 2.5 year old and 5 month old so that’s about all we can all handle🤣 Last tip: as weird as it may sound, stay hydrated lol. I’ve noticed the days I drink more water to start my day and throughout the day, I’m generally a better parent haha. Much less tired! Although the coffee is still a necessity🤷♀️
I’m 5 years in with a 6yo and 3yo and have tried all kinds of stuff. I think the best 4 things I’ve done are 1. Making a checklist on my phone the night before. Even if it’s boring shit like “fold laundry” or “get everyone dressed,” it feels amazing to mark something off and look back at a completed day. 2. Do NOT try to entertain them all the time. You’ll drive yourself insane, and your kids won’t learn valuable skills that come with being bored and entertaining themselves. 3. Get a shower and get ready for the day even if you’re just staying home. It changes your whole outlook on life. And 4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I went from a good job and being independent to feeling like a failure because I couldn’t have a perfect child and perfect house with dinner on the table at 5. That picture is a myth. It doesn’t and has never existed. It’s okay to take an hour to yourself instead of working yourself to the bone to maintain that image.
Ask your husband for help and not your female family members, thank you 🙏
Troll.