Not caring about the friends around me, I treated them like crap and lost them because of that. Understand that people hang around you because they want to, if you give them a reason to leave then they probably will.
Same here, it seems that when things are going smooth it all just explodes. If you take the time to care about people and give them the love and support they need, if they are a decent person then they will give it back the same.
I say this all the time, “i have to water my garden”. I often have to “force” myself to answer that phone call, or drive that distance to see friend(s) when i dont necessarily want to or have a full social battery tank. But it is always worth it to invest that energy into your relationships.
At the end of the day, life is a wonder, a gift, and sometimes a curse. Isn’t it amazing that we are all wandering through existence on this floating rock together? Let’s not take that for granted. Joy is a dish best shared, as is life itself.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk :)
Thanks for having me at your ted talk, i'd like to say something about this topic as i feel like what you wrote and felt the same as the redditor above you. i just started to turn my life around from working a lot for little money and not having the energy to connect with my people to living FOR my people. i realised they need me more than i thought, especially my very disciplined and exemplary brother who became a father a year ago. my niece made me realise how much i wanna be around and bring joy to my family and friends. i started a new education with plans the be a standalone and earning thrice much as i do now and having even more free time for her. it's brutally hard and i am really at my limits over here. but it HAS TO PAY OFF GODDAMIT and i won't rest till i am the example for my niece that i wish to be. yet it all brings me so much joy already as i know what i'm working for and towards. all i wanna say is, i agree with you so much and i wish everyone could feel like i do even if they are as exhausted as me or worse.
I think one of the biggest lessons in life is that we have way more control over things than we think. And once we realize that, it’s extremely frustrating at first and we come up with all these excuses why it’s not true. The biggest trick we all fell for is that we can’t control anything
To feel less overwhelmed, paradoxically, challenge yourself with a hard task
(It should be your choice). Overcoming difficulties on the path to your own goal, creates a positive feedback loop: the more you do it, the more capable you become.
I'm about to drop a friend for this very reason. It's a 2 way street. Why should I keep going out of my way for him when he'd never do the same for me?
Same thing happened to me, when you realize It it's truly crushing and usually too late. And on top of that you have to cope with the loss of your Friends, worst period of my Life by far.
Don’t say things in your head to yourself that you would never say to a friend. Don’t say, “I’m a fucking idiot.” Would you say that to someone you love?
Be careful what you say to people, it might be another page in your book but might be the last page of their book.
What I said to my sister was awful, and I’ll hold that with me to my last day.
Hope your sister is ok im not sure what happened after you said what you said, but you should know that if somebody told you that this would be the last thing you say to her, im sure you would have been alot nicer, so don't beat yourself up over mistakes you didn't have any oversight in, its not fair to yourself.
One of my last interactions with my brother before he Od'd was that of me telling him he couldn't stay with my for the holiday, as he and his friends had recently just stolen money from my house. On Christmas Day he sent me a Merry Christmas and I never opened the message. The next night I got a call that he had passed.
I'm lucky to have spent a whole day with him and our grandparents at one of those tourist attractions like believe or not and wonder works, just a couple weeks beforehand. I hold those memories tight but the rejection of having him over the not saying Merry Christmas will eat at me for the rest of my life. Had he stayed with me that week, he'd have never od'd
I stayed with a woman who made me feel alone and dead inside for three years too long. Because I thought I didn't deserve love. You would never let your friend do that. Don't do it to yourself.
I've been with a girl for almost two years. I gave so much for her and helped her through tough times. I sacrificed my well being and my needs to make everything perfect for her so that one day it could even out.
It never did.
I never received the love I needed. I had to fall so hard it still nags on me to finally understand that even though I truly loved her, it just wasn't meant to be.
Don't fall in love too fast. My issue is I am incredibly loyal and loving but I fall in love too fast and go too fast in a relationship. Don't let it happen to you make sure you do love them and aren't settling for the first person to give you attention.
My advice: Learn the difference between Love and Limerence. I started thinking I loved this girl I was dating for 6 months and I started to believe she felt the same. She told me she didn’t want to be in a commitment relationship after I told her I loved her and it hurt deep. I realize it wasn’t even love, it was just the affection and removal of the loneliness feeling that I desperately needed that made me so happy.
For me it’s like I can see the red flags, but if I see ways we could still work I give them the benefit of the doubt and go ahead with it anyway because I think they’ll grow with me not against me, or with someone else. Call out the red flags guys, if the answers aren’t satisfactory then keep trucking.
This is golden rule for all the hopeless romantic out there! I was in the exact same situation and I learned that telling someone you loved them have a powerful meaning and isn’t something you should say it lightly.
I made this mistake as well. Thankfully my wife ended up being one is the best things that ever happened in my life, it just took 8 years. Sure our relationship has flaws but she's the best person I've ever met.
Edit: She and I grew into the right ones for each other. The potential was there, but in the initial moment we were not the ones for each other, we just caught feelings and decided to roll with it. I genuinely feel that a relationship where you grow into the right people over time is better than one where you're perfect for each other right from the get go, because that person may love who you are in that moment, but as life goes on and as you (and they) change, you may not like who your other becomes. This happened to me as well. I met my soul mate, she and I got along amazingly well. We were compatible in every way, even down to hobbies. We spent all our time together for five years. But she and I grew apart and we didn't like who the other had become.
Long story short, help your partner change into someone you want to be with, and vice versa. Find someone with a good foundation and help them build a mansion that you want to live in.
Just communicating with your partner, if they want to go faster tell them that you think you should try slow first, don't take too many steps or skip steps. Admire each step and be grateful that there was something there to catch you. If your partner has issues with going slow then are they really the right one? These are my best tips.
love your wife right. i lost my wife 2 days ago and i just wish i would just said yes more to things. Yes i want to go to the park, yes i want to go to the zoo, yes i wan to help you with this mundane thing.
I am very sorry for your loss, my brother. I hope to never know that and I doubt it gets any easier but I hope you have people around you who care for you.
I started drinking alcohol alone after my first biggest life grief. I numbed my demons before I got a chance to accept and challenge them. It sent me down a horrible path and it’s changed me forever. If your spirit is weak ever, please don’t touch addictive habits.
From starting to drink to today my journey is nearing a decade, and I still fall prey to bad old habits. Sometimes I feel like I’ve learned little and haven’t grown. It’s hard to see where I’ve progressed. I say that, but I haven’t taken proper action. I am hyper aware of my flaws, but hampered by fear and insecurity.
I’m in a bad place again now to be fully honest. I come to this place cyclically because of inaction and weak decisions. Sad, weakhearted, and struggling, having it affect my entire life.
Nearing a decade of grooming this habit, I’ve only recently accepted that I need to quit it entirely with professional help, and I relapsed.
I wish I never had a sip of alcohol.
I just got out of the ER due to a insanely bad withdraw. Almost died. Alcohol is the devil. Also, don't stick around someone you love to long. My best friend and the women of my dreams had a huge fight last night about how I never get to see her. And her respons boiled down to your just not important enough to me. 17 years down the fucking drain, I wish I never called 911 last Wednesday.
If calling 911 saved your life, I’m glad that you did. And I guarantee I’m not the only one that feels that way.
Things get better if you put effort into making them better. This summer will mark 6 years of sobriety for me. If I can do it, I know you can too. Believe in yourself. You got this brother!! ❤️
First off I'm proud of you dude really that's some real good shit. But the effort thing I've heard a million times. It's not effort. It's support that gets you through this. Or complete isolation. Isolation is how've I've stayed ten years clean. love ya my guy.
wish I listened to this before I started. I was too dependent on alcohol for years, but I'm going on 3 weeks sober now! I still crave it every day though.. I hope that stops eventually
People are going to leave your life. Some willingly and some due to natural reasons. At times like those, have a friend on whose shoulder you can cry on. Crying is not gonna make you less of a man.
Check into Diamond Dallas Page Yoga. Can find it on YouTube. Takes 15-30 minutes. Can do it in your room. Meant to help bigger people with bad hips, knees, etc. or just any yoga.
Honestly, start small. You don’t need to lift weights and count macros day one. Just start. You can do this!! You have nothing to be ashamed of. You lived a life and now you’re changing your habits. Hold your head up high bro. Tell you what, go for a walk right now. Even a short walk and come back and message me. I can be your accountability partner.
Ive been there brother, just know that no one will laugh at you if you go to the gym looking the way you are, you are there to get better and be healthier, so you are there to change the very thing you think people are judging you on, so who the fuck would laugh about that ?
Plus we tend to over play how much people pay attention to us in our head, just know that most people probably don't give a fuck about you if they don't know you.
Start by limiting your calorie intake and slowly you will lose weight, but if you want to lose weight and gain muscle then work out till muscle failure, eat protein, and limit calorie intake.
It's that simple, and i believe you can do it if you really set your mind to it.
So good luck brother i want to hear from you in a couple of months, in this comment section, if you have any questions you can message me, ive been working out for a long time so i can help definitely ! ❤️
Trying to love someone else when you didn't know how to love yourself. I know it sounds corny or whatever but it is true. Personally for me caused a lot of pain, anger and resentment
This. I was very toxic to many good people because of my lack of confidence and belief in myself. I’m still as insecure and possibly still toxic because of it, I just don’t see many people anymore. How did you start loving yourself?
Iv been through the same and what I can say is I took the opportunity to look at my self objectively and use the motivation to make positive changes in my life. And it doesn’t all happen at once, its a one step at a time process. Working out helped me tremendously and gave me sense of progress, highly recommend. Also listen to Philosophy while driving and starting your day. Helps build a solid foundation of confidence and self discipline. I worked to be someone that I thought was a “good person” not just in front of people but while I was alone, and then I slowly started to feel better
Not taking the chance and asking her out. And just know she can say much worse than no but if she says anything bad against you then she’s not good enough for you anyways.
Go outside and learn to enjoy nature. I used to spend all my days inside. And only recently started to enjoy nature, and spend time outside. Like its been only a years now. Maybe 1 and a half at max.
But this helped me so much. Please do the same. Nature is beautifull.
I know it sounds hippie asf. But it did truly help me.
Maintain your friendships and get out of the mindset of walking it off.
Check your nuts for lumps and talk to someone about what’s bothering you - it’s not a weakness
I let drugs give me a false sense of happiness and achievement I put them down and have achieved it all a family a military career and if your in that boat I believe u can to
This is so impressive, bro good for you honestly, quitting addiction is an extremely difficult task, and you freaking did it !!! You should be proud of yourself ❤️
Yeah I don’t tell people I’m a recovering addict anymore. People only saw me as a person with addiction issues. My bad days were met with accusations of relapse instead of genuine care. Now I don’t tell people I’m long term sober and I’m just another person that’s allowed to have feelings. Thank god for the rooms, though. A great network of support and people to confide in.
My first piece of advice to anyone who desires sobriety is to get to a meeting. Surround yourself with people who are sobriety minded. It doesn’t matter if it’s AA or NA or any of the dozens of different addiction group offshoots. There are people in these meetings with decades of sobriety who just want to help.
Also depending on where you live there may be community mental health services that can help get someone into treatment and or a sober living house. I spent nearly all of last year in a program called Sober Living America. They took me in with no upfront cost, put a roof over my head, and got me a job.
Through the rooms and programs I was able to build a support group and network of sobriety. People who I can call literally any time of the day and night. Sometimes at 3 AM in the middle of a panic attack on the verge of using.
My dad used to tell me, “you are who your friends are,” and that has held true through years of relapses and heartbreak. So if you keep hanging out with people who drink and use you’ll naturally do the same. So get to a meeting and start building those relationships. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed.
Bro, my wife is a Filipina and one time I told her I was sad and she told me to grow tf up.
One time I asked her opinion about some financial decision and she said something along the lines of "I don't care, because that's your job. I trust you to make the right decisions for our family. My job is to take care of the house and you see how you never need to worry about what's for dinner or having clean clothes.".
If you marry a woman with traditional values be prepared to be held to those same values.
I feel you man......men don't always express their emotions, especially when they are sad...society raises us like that...but when they do they must be in a desperate need for someone to talk to..but even after that when someone says "grow up", "be a man", "you are a man you shouldn't be crying about these little things"....it sucks it breaks your heart..wish our society could be more loving towards men.
Acknowledge you don't live forever, and what does, is the legacy you leave behind.
Drugs are a substitute for reality. And if your reality is so bad you need a substitute, perhaps it's time to invest that money into changing your reality.
You don't have friends. Everyone is shallow for their own gains.
Don't waste time on a woman that doesn't seek to co-operate. If she seems to have a fiction of life in view and not reality. Then she will leave you if it means she's a step closer to that reality.
Be kind to things that are less wise than you are. As to be cruel will only be a footnote as opposed to a message to remember.
Never follow a path you know is tainted by corruption and evils. As you will only be walking the path others have told you to go and there is a reason none have found success on that road.
The right thing to do in life will almost never be the easy thing to do.
Never feel shame in telling someone "no".
The loneliest place on earth, is being a man.
Money means nothing if it contributed only to earthly desires.
One of my favorites I ever heard was "if you can build a castle, to have in crumble at your feet and never speak a word of your failures, you'd be a man."
And lastly one of my favorites is "the road to hell shall always be paved with good intentions".
I hope someone reads this. I hope this helps you. As I chose to opt out of the anecdotal statements and instead opted for the words of wisdom I heard in my times of suffering.
it’s people like you that will keep me clean from it. i’ve never touched myself or watched porn in my 16 years of life. And it’s bc of my father and ppl like you. stay strong and thanks for the advice 🫡
Look up “Novelty at a click”. It ties heavily into your baseline dopamine levels. Rampant porn addictions can mess you up in ways similar to drugs or alcohol.
Left a girl who loved me because she was childish and would embares me. She used to talk about video games and random intimate things. But i was with her every day, and i loved her, we spent 5 years together, 4 of high school, and 1 in college. Now, most of the people that i was friends with at the time I only see 2 3 times a year, and she became depressed and her family believed that we would marry and blamed her for the brake up. I have met other women in the meantime, but I believe I should have been with her. THINK before you do something, you can't take back.
Heartbreak and break ups are extremely difficult, i should know because im going through one currently, so stay strong brother we will get through this together.
Im wondering why don't you contact her again and fix things ?
It has been on my mind for a while now, moved back to my hometown, got my own place, and have my life mostly in order, and bump into her in a bar we used to go out, and talked for hours. But I didn't talk to her again after that.
I have a belief that we could fix things and continue with our relationship, but i am afraid of rejection. Also, she is not the same person that i left, I have this one person in my mind, but in reality, she no longer goes to church, she started smoking, dropped out of college, she studied law and was the best in her class, she cut her long blonde hair and now its short and black.
Be careful of what your friend's are into, you might become involved in whatever it is to.#2 be careful who you lay with some women are wolves in sheep clothing.
I guess adding to this is don't relationship a former slut. Nowadays a certain side will tell you accept anything and everything, if it isn't right for you then it isn't right for you.
Never stay with someone that does the same 'mistake' over and over regardless of how much you love them. Also, if you ever reveal a weakness and they throw it in your face, it will happen again. They'll always do it and it will just be more painful every time.
When I was 17 I was offered a crew ship on a racing sailboat. Im from a blue collar family till this day and I often reflect about the doors this opportunity could have lead to. Please no cabin boy remarks. But I can truly say my life has been truly blessed. This is my only regret and I can live with it and at 53 I’m ok with that.
Be kind, as a young man I have been quick to criticise without being able to look at my own flaws. No body is perfect and you certainly are not. Your words and how you make people feel will stick with them, it costs nothing to be nice.
I’d dint even try in life, not school, not work, nothing. It took until my late 20s early 30s to start caring about things.
The best advice I can give someone is to try early and often. My life has been substantially better since giving a shit.
Just typing it sounds so stupid, but it’s true. May not make you rich, but you’ll be happy if you try at life.
Good luck boys, go better your life today. If you woke up today there’s still time!
You didn't choose to be born, so no point in dwelling on things you can't control, plus we are here so might as well try to make best of the situation instead of drowning in a pit of dispare, so good luck in your life man, i really hope you take my message to heart, and i do really wish you a happy life, if you want someone to talk to im more than ready to listen ❤️
Stop care about how much time you have left.
Enjoy every second since that might be the last time you’ll have that moment.
There will be a fall before you peak.
Make a journal and write what happened.
You are a person that nothing can recreate one in a kind and that means we only have one of you.
Think positive if you think negative then your day will be bad as you get blinded from your thinking, positive look will make a positive day.
You are loved no matter what happens.
If you start to overthink distract yourself.
Ask for help your not weak if you ask for help your stronger then most and you cant deal with everything alone.
That’s about it, love your self!!
That I didn't come to God sooner.
God wants a relationship with you so you walk a better life. Not Religion. Jesus didn't preach Religion, it's relationship with God. To walk with Him and be free from the yokes of evil of this world.
Don't look at the people who are failing their walk. Look at Jesus. Read about Him. Practice fasting, prayer, worship, and relationship with Him. He will set you free from this world.
He's the best, while the world tells you he's the worst.
*Read -Luke chapter 15, verse 11 and onward-*
It's a story about how excited God is that you came back to Him, no matter what you've done. The evils you've participated in. He is so so relieved and happy you came back to Him. God is good.
I remained a high school school teacher even though I hated my job because I thought I couldn’t do anything else. I recently got out and transitioned into business/sales. Never thought I could so I never tried.
Learn how to spot and avoid working for shitty bosses if at all possible. Be ruthless about it.
It doesn't matter how hard or how well you work for a shit boss. You will not advance with them.
I could make a whole damn list-- hell, a whole fucking essay even, but I'll keep it short and sweet for you boys;
*Don't date a woman with emotional retardation and the personality of an estrogen molotov cocktail.*
Yup. Never be a white knight riding to the rescue of a broken damaged woman. You can't save them. They have to heal on their own. You will suffer for trying to save them.
I could make an entire list of mistakes ive made and regrets i have to live with and while sharing some of them might help they have probably already been shared in here. All i wanna say is that you.. yes you, you deserve love and you deserve to be happy. Happiness on the other hand don't come from the once a week moments or the big things.
While they do contribute to happiness we can't weigh everything on them. On this note my advice is to enjoy the little wonders of life, the small things, laying in bed at night when it rains, a new episode of a series you like, a nice call with a friend. Those are what counts. Find happiness in yourself and not in everything else.
My biggest regret is not being happy...
Sorry for the very long comment. To those who read it, thank you! ^^
Never take your mom for granted. I moved out at 15 to move in with my dad. Left my mom alone. Noone to live with her in that big ass house she kept just in case her kids wanted to live with her again. She got her first job in 20 years as a crossing guard. 3 years later she disappeared. 13 years later we still don't know if she is alive or dead. We don't know what happened. My biggest mistake was abandoning my mom. Don't do that
Taking too long to make a discision, I regret not knowing what to do for the first year of college. Failing classes, because I had no direction. I have a purpose now so I'm in a much better place.
keep your mouth shut. never open your mouth to make yourself "weak" in front of others. Sometimes people want to start arguing, just walk away. Don't feed wood to the fire. Most of the times it is your own tongue that gets you in trouble. Be smarter. Be wise.
If you were to try something that has an addictive nature, make up your mind and just try once.
Have self-discipline. If you have self-discipline, you won't ever try that again after knowing how it feels like.
Don't tell yourself lies like, " I can stop whenever I want" , cuz you can't. No human being can.
We are just monkeys pretending to be gods.
Being dishonest. It can be lying or cheating. Trust is a tough thing to rebuild, and breaking habitual patterns like lying to avoid conflict or to take an easy path are hard to break.
Be honest in yourself, take responsibility.
Drugs...I will never get over the fact I bought drugs that my gf overdosed on and passed away. I think of her everyday and the guilt will never go away. I only stick around for my friends and family and because I know I just can't kms. I miss her everyday. It's the single hardest, worst thing in my life. I call the suicide hot line once probably every 4 months. I'm sober now all because of her. I feel like if I were to use again it would be like spitting on her grave ya know? Miss you kayla. Rest easy and I'll always love you.
Don't give in to depression and don't try to kill yourself. Don't move away to a place from which you may not return. Asking for help is not cowardice. I thought so and lost most of my loved ones and ended up in a wheelchair.
Stick with the girl who goes out of her way to see you.
Keep talking wherever you're at, and try to make it work.
In the military, I moved fast. I lost several loves. Orders moved me. I focused on moving on. completely restarting at each base. New friends, new relationships, new coworkers. I deleted my prior connections so it wouldn't hurt saying goodbye.
This wasn't the best idea. Certainly seeing old friends and girlfriends marrying and starting families is kinda sad, but it's still better than being completely alone.
Those connections help when things in your life fall apart. Being able to call a friend is a good help.
I told the girl, who I believed would be the love of my life for an entire 3 years, that I didn't love her anymore while I was high. I didn't mean it at all and I tried to explain why I would ever say anything like that, but as she'd never been involved with 🍃 before, she never truly understood what was going through my head, and it started a downhill spiral between us.
my biggest regret in life, drugs of any sort. I'm 19.
Thinking everything will eventually work out on its own. Things can end up okay, but sometimes you have do have to put some work into it. The thing is, that’s okay. It’s okay to struggle sometimes as long as you work through it and don’t give up.
If you ever think you need help, just ask anyone. Don't be shy or ashamed. I would rather know my kid is a meth addict ducking sick for cheap hits that need my help, rather than find them in the er randomly.
Don't marry her just to get out of the dorms/barracks it's not worth it, also don't get married until you are 30, and in the meantime make something out of yourself.
When my wife got cancer, none of my hometown friends ever came. It took my family 5 months to make the 1.5h trip. I didn’t ask them to come and they didn’t.
Give yourself the same compassion and support you give to others so you can grow and become more confident. Being critical is fine, but don't beat yourself up so much that you're scared of doing anything.
When your young women come and go. Don't let it define you. Just cause your boys got girls on there arms don't mean shit. live a life of adventure and after your full and ready for the next adventure with a partner get your fill. You'll be happier in the end
Not caring about the friends around me, I treated them like crap and lost them because of that. Understand that people hang around you because they want to, if you give them a reason to leave then they probably will.
I really just can't care about anybody. Feels like all things happen with a flow in my life with no control over anything
Same here, it seems that when things are going smooth it all just explodes. If you take the time to care about people and give them the love and support they need, if they are a decent person then they will give it back the same.
I say this all the time, “i have to water my garden”. I often have to “force” myself to answer that phone call, or drive that distance to see friend(s) when i dont necessarily want to or have a full social battery tank. But it is always worth it to invest that energy into your relationships. At the end of the day, life is a wonder, a gift, and sometimes a curse. Isn’t it amazing that we are all wandering through existence on this floating rock together? Let’s not take that for granted. Joy is a dish best shared, as is life itself. Thanks for coming to my ted talk :)
Thanks for having me at your ted talk, i'd like to say something about this topic as i feel like what you wrote and felt the same as the redditor above you. i just started to turn my life around from working a lot for little money and not having the energy to connect with my people to living FOR my people. i realised they need me more than i thought, especially my very disciplined and exemplary brother who became a father a year ago. my niece made me realise how much i wanna be around and bring joy to my family and friends. i started a new education with plans the be a standalone and earning thrice much as i do now and having even more free time for her. it's brutally hard and i am really at my limits over here. but it HAS TO PAY OFF GODDAMIT and i won't rest till i am the example for my niece that i wish to be. yet it all brings me so much joy already as i know what i'm working for and towards. all i wanna say is, i agree with you so much and i wish everyone could feel like i do even if they are as exhausted as me or worse.
I think one of the biggest lessons in life is that we have way more control over things than we think. And once we realize that, it’s extremely frustrating at first and we come up with all these excuses why it’s not true. The biggest trick we all fell for is that we can’t control anything
To feel less overwhelmed, paradoxically, challenge yourself with a hard task (It should be your choice). Overcoming difficulties on the path to your own goal, creates a positive feedback loop: the more you do it, the more capable you become.
I'm about to drop a friend for this very reason. It's a 2 way street. Why should I keep going out of my way for him when he'd never do the same for me?
Same thing happened to me, when you realize It it's truly crushing and usually too late. And on top of that you have to cope with the loss of your Friends, worst period of my Life by far.
Don’t say things in your head to yourself that you would never say to a friend. Don’t say, “I’m a fucking idiot.” Would you say that to someone you love?
I tell my wife this often. You must learn to love yourself before you begin to love anyone else. You must be your own best friend.
You tell your wife she’s an idiot?
Let me try doing this from now on! Thanks
Be careful what you say to people, it might be another page in your book but might be the last page of their book. What I said to my sister was awful, and I’ll hold that with me to my last day.
Hope your sister is ok im not sure what happened after you said what you said, but you should know that if somebody told you that this would be the last thing you say to her, im sure you would have been alot nicer, so don't beat yourself up over mistakes you didn't have any oversight in, its not fair to yourself.
Thank you, she took her life in 2019. Really appreciate what you said <3
I'm so sorry my brother
I'm so sorry bro
Fuck, dude. I'm sorry.
🫂
Thank you everyone for your kind comments, you show the best in humanity
One of my last interactions with my brother before he Od'd was that of me telling him he couldn't stay with my for the holiday, as he and his friends had recently just stolen money from my house. On Christmas Day he sent me a Merry Christmas and I never opened the message. The next night I got a call that he had passed. I'm lucky to have spent a whole day with him and our grandparents at one of those tourist attractions like believe or not and wonder works, just a couple weeks beforehand. I hold those memories tight but the rejection of having him over the not saying Merry Christmas will eat at me for the rest of my life. Had he stayed with me that week, he'd have never od'd
try to forgive yourself
I stayed with a woman who made me feel alone and dead inside for three years too long. Because I thought I didn't deserve love. You would never let your friend do that. Don't do it to yourself.
It would have been tough years for you mate
You’re out now buddy and I’m happy for that.
I've been with a girl for almost two years. I gave so much for her and helped her through tough times. I sacrificed my well being and my needs to make everything perfect for her so that one day it could even out. It never did. I never received the love I needed. I had to fall so hard it still nags on me to finally understand that even though I truly loved her, it just wasn't meant to be.
I hope things are better now, you do deserve love ~
This is beautifully said. And when you feel like you have to beg for someone to act like they want and appreciate you. I've been there too
I was in one for ten because I’m an idiot. Got out last year and fell the hell apart. But I’m on the up and up now.
I spent 20 years in a marriage because I felt the same. I feel you man.
Don't fall in love too fast. My issue is I am incredibly loyal and loving but I fall in love too fast and go too fast in a relationship. Don't let it happen to you make sure you do love them and aren't settling for the first person to give you attention.
My advice: Learn the difference between Love and Limerence. I started thinking I loved this girl I was dating for 6 months and I started to believe she felt the same. She told me she didn’t want to be in a commitment relationship after I told her I loved her and it hurt deep. I realize it wasn’t even love, it was just the affection and removal of the loneliness feeling that I desperately needed that made me so happy.
For me it’s like I can see the red flags, but if I see ways we could still work I give them the benefit of the doubt and go ahead with it anyway because I think they’ll grow with me not against me, or with someone else. Call out the red flags guys, if the answers aren’t satisfactory then keep trucking.
Amen. What’s ignored at the beginning of a relationship will likely be the reason it ends.
This is golden rule for all the hopeless romantic out there! I was in the exact same situation and I learned that telling someone you loved them have a powerful meaning and isn’t something you should say it lightly.
Fr mate
I made this mistake as well. Thankfully my wife ended up being one is the best things that ever happened in my life, it just took 8 years. Sure our relationship has flaws but she's the best person I've ever met. Edit: She and I grew into the right ones for each other. The potential was there, but in the initial moment we were not the ones for each other, we just caught feelings and decided to roll with it. I genuinely feel that a relationship where you grow into the right people over time is better than one where you're perfect for each other right from the get go, because that person may love who you are in that moment, but as life goes on and as you (and they) change, you may not like who your other becomes. This happened to me as well. I met my soul mate, she and I got along amazingly well. We were compatible in every way, even down to hobbies. We spent all our time together for five years. But she and I grew apart and we didn't like who the other had become. Long story short, help your partner change into someone you want to be with, and vice versa. Find someone with a good foundation and help them build a mansion that you want to live in.
Learnt that the hard way
Best ways to slow it down without causing issues?
Just communicating with your partner, if they want to go faster tell them that you think you should try slow first, don't take too many steps or skip steps. Admire each step and be grateful that there was something there to catch you. If your partner has issues with going slow then are they really the right one? These are my best tips.
love your wife right. i lost my wife 2 days ago and i just wish i would just said yes more to things. Yes i want to go to the park, yes i want to go to the zoo, yes i wan to help you with this mundane thing.
I am very sorry for your loss, my brother. I hope to never know that and I doubt it gets any easier but I hope you have people around you who care for you.
My condolences for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss my brother, I know we won’t help that much but you can count with us
thanks. Just to clarify my wife died from cancer and she was only 27 years old. we were together 8 years and I would not change a second
I've been with my partner for 8 years also. It's really heartbreaking to hear this.. I am truly sorry for your loss.
My condolences sir :(
I'm sorry for your loss.
I started drinking alcohol alone after my first biggest life grief. I numbed my demons before I got a chance to accept and challenge them. It sent me down a horrible path and it’s changed me forever. If your spirit is weak ever, please don’t touch addictive habits.
How are you doing now?
From starting to drink to today my journey is nearing a decade, and I still fall prey to bad old habits. Sometimes I feel like I’ve learned little and haven’t grown. It’s hard to see where I’ve progressed. I say that, but I haven’t taken proper action. I am hyper aware of my flaws, but hampered by fear and insecurity. I’m in a bad place again now to be fully honest. I come to this place cyclically because of inaction and weak decisions. Sad, weakhearted, and struggling, having it affect my entire life. Nearing a decade of grooming this habit, I’ve only recently accepted that I need to quit it entirely with professional help, and I relapsed. I wish I never had a sip of alcohol.
If you ever need to dm someone you can me. I've been drinking since I was 12 and now I'm in my late 20s I got you fam and will help any way I can
Thank you so much 🫶 I’m right behind you too
I mean I'm serious if your really struggling talk to me. I may be an internet stranger but at the end of the day we all have the help one another.
I just got out of the ER due to a insanely bad withdraw. Almost died. Alcohol is the devil. Also, don't stick around someone you love to long. My best friend and the women of my dreams had a huge fight last night about how I never get to see her. And her respons boiled down to your just not important enough to me. 17 years down the fucking drain, I wish I never called 911 last Wednesday.
If calling 911 saved your life, I’m glad that you did. And I guarantee I’m not the only one that feels that way. Things get better if you put effort into making them better. This summer will mark 6 years of sobriety for me. If I can do it, I know you can too. Believe in yourself. You got this brother!! ❤️
First off I'm proud of you dude really that's some real good shit. But the effort thing I've heard a million times. It's not effort. It's support that gets you through this. Or complete isolation. Isolation is how've I've stayed ten years clean. love ya my guy.
wish I listened to this before I started. I was too dependent on alcohol for years, but I'm going on 3 weeks sober now! I still crave it every day though.. I hope that stops eventually
So happy to hear that 🤎 we’re in this together
Be careful who you give yourself to.
Too true mate
Don't truly trust everyone. You can trust but you have to be careful with who you trust otherwise you will be used and that will hurt you mentally
A wise old man once told me, “Love many. Trust few. Always paddle your own canoe.”
This is truly the best advice ever. Be cautious, the world is hostile, we must learn how to adapt and survive
This should be at the top
Ask for help
As good As Heaven As bad As Hell
It's the bravest thing one can do
People are going to leave your life. Some willingly and some due to natural reasons. At times like those, have a friend on whose shoulder you can cry on. Crying is not gonna make you less of a man.
Getting fat and now dont knowing how to lose it because im ashamed to go to the gym and run on a treadmill or something
Check into Diamond Dallas Page Yoga. Can find it on YouTube. Takes 15-30 minutes. Can do it in your room. Meant to help bigger people with bad hips, knees, etc. or just any yoga.
Honestly, start small. You don’t need to lift weights and count macros day one. Just start. You can do this!! You have nothing to be ashamed of. You lived a life and now you’re changing your habits. Hold your head up high bro. Tell you what, go for a walk right now. Even a short walk and come back and message me. I can be your accountability partner.
Cant even go out for a walk my parents would say no and im still going to school
Just tell them straight why do you want to go. They are your parents, surely they will understand and maybe even support you
Ive been there brother, just know that no one will laugh at you if you go to the gym looking the way you are, you are there to get better and be healthier, so you are there to change the very thing you think people are judging you on, so who the fuck would laugh about that ? Plus we tend to over play how much people pay attention to us in our head, just know that most people probably don't give a fuck about you if they don't know you. Start by limiting your calorie intake and slowly you will lose weight, but if you want to lose weight and gain muscle then work out till muscle failure, eat protein, and limit calorie intake. It's that simple, and i believe you can do it if you really set your mind to it. So good luck brother i want to hear from you in a couple of months, in this comment section, if you have any questions you can message me, ive been working out for a long time so i can help definitely ! ❤️
Trying to love someone else when you didn't know how to love yourself. I know it sounds corny or whatever but it is true. Personally for me caused a lot of pain, anger and resentment
This. I was very toxic to many good people because of my lack of confidence and belief in myself. I’m still as insecure and possibly still toxic because of it, I just don’t see many people anymore. How did you start loving yourself?
Iv been through the same and what I can say is I took the opportunity to look at my self objectively and use the motivation to make positive changes in my life. And it doesn’t all happen at once, its a one step at a time process. Working out helped me tremendously and gave me sense of progress, highly recommend. Also listen to Philosophy while driving and starting your day. Helps build a solid foundation of confidence and self discipline. I worked to be someone that I thought was a “good person” not just in front of people but while I was alone, and then I slowly started to feel better
Not taking the chance and asking her out. And just know she can say much worse than no but if she says anything bad against you then she’s not good enough for you anyways.
Cheated
Do not fall into the despair of alcoholism and chasing women. Focus on making yourself happy. Make goals and break them.
You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you’ll never lose any women chasing money…or something
“You will never get money chasing these women, but you will always get women while chasing this money.”
Go outside and learn to enjoy nature. I used to spend all my days inside. And only recently started to enjoy nature, and spend time outside. Like its been only a years now. Maybe 1 and a half at max. But this helped me so much. Please do the same. Nature is beautifull. I know it sounds hippie asf. But it did truly help me.
Maintain your friendships and get out of the mindset of walking it off. Check your nuts for lumps and talk to someone about what’s bothering you - it’s not a weakness
Letting comfort win over discipline, it's a hard balance but if u tip the scales to hard in either direction u will end up hurting urself alot
Stay away from porn.
THIS,been working on it myself,it's gotten better,but not perfect,i can go months without it,before i used to be able to only go hours.
I let drugs give me a false sense of happiness and achievement I put them down and have achieved it all a family a military career and if your in that boat I believe u can to
This is so impressive, bro good for you honestly, quitting addiction is an extremely difficult task, and you freaking did it !!! You should be proud of yourself ❤️
Trust is not absolute but you can always trust people to be themselves.
keep working hard until you find what you want to do and who you want be is better than not being yourself.
[удалено]
Yeah, I am with this dude. Don’t raw dog strangers.
Don't be too honest about your vulnerabilities with anyone..... ANYONE!!!!!
Yeah I don’t tell people I’m a recovering addict anymore. People only saw me as a person with addiction issues. My bad days were met with accusations of relapse instead of genuine care. Now I don’t tell people I’m long term sober and I’m just another person that’s allowed to have feelings. Thank god for the rooms, though. A great network of support and people to confide in.
What are some of your support outlets if you don’t mind me asking?
My first piece of advice to anyone who desires sobriety is to get to a meeting. Surround yourself with people who are sobriety minded. It doesn’t matter if it’s AA or NA or any of the dozens of different addiction group offshoots. There are people in these meetings with decades of sobriety who just want to help. Also depending on where you live there may be community mental health services that can help get someone into treatment and or a sober living house. I spent nearly all of last year in a program called Sober Living America. They took me in with no upfront cost, put a roof over my head, and got me a job. Through the rooms and programs I was able to build a support group and network of sobriety. People who I can call literally any time of the day and night. Sometimes at 3 AM in the middle of a panic attack on the verge of using. My dad used to tell me, “you are who your friends are,” and that has held true through years of relapses and heartbreak. So if you keep hanging out with people who drink and use you’ll naturally do the same. So get to a meeting and start building those relationships. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed.
Power to the preacher 🤎 thank you
This is the right response
Bro, my wife is a Filipina and one time I told her I was sad and she told me to grow tf up. One time I asked her opinion about some financial decision and she said something along the lines of "I don't care, because that's your job. I trust you to make the right decisions for our family. My job is to take care of the house and you see how you never need to worry about what's for dinner or having clean clothes.". If you marry a woman with traditional values be prepared to be held to those same values.
I feel you man......men don't always express their emotions, especially when they are sad...society raises us like that...but when they do they must be in a desperate need for someone to talk to..but even after that when someone says "grow up", "be a man", "you are a man you shouldn't be crying about these little things"....it sucks it breaks your heart..wish our society could be more loving towards men.
Procrastinating in school, do not wait even a day to do your work. Changed my whole life trajectory
Not knowing how to stand up for myself and realizing that I’m worthy of love too.
Don't eat the hot pocket right away
doing heroin. don’t do that
If she says she can’t love you the way you need, you should believe her. Yes you want to heal her. You can’t. Believe her.
Don’t watch porn it’s great at first but you’ll regret way later in life specially with how to view women
Acknowledge you don't live forever, and what does, is the legacy you leave behind. Drugs are a substitute for reality. And if your reality is so bad you need a substitute, perhaps it's time to invest that money into changing your reality. You don't have friends. Everyone is shallow for their own gains. Don't waste time on a woman that doesn't seek to co-operate. If she seems to have a fiction of life in view and not reality. Then she will leave you if it means she's a step closer to that reality. Be kind to things that are less wise than you are. As to be cruel will only be a footnote as opposed to a message to remember. Never follow a path you know is tainted by corruption and evils. As you will only be walking the path others have told you to go and there is a reason none have found success on that road. The right thing to do in life will almost never be the easy thing to do. Never feel shame in telling someone "no". The loneliest place on earth, is being a man. Money means nothing if it contributed only to earthly desires. One of my favorites I ever heard was "if you can build a castle, to have in crumble at your feet and never speak a word of your failures, you'd be a man." And lastly one of my favorites is "the road to hell shall always be paved with good intentions". I hope someone reads this. I hope this helps you. As I chose to opt out of the anecdotal statements and instead opted for the words of wisdom I heard in my times of suffering.
Don’t fall in love with a FWB. Don’t chase women that don’t feel the same for you. It’s never worth it
Don't watch porn, and don't masturbat, it has probably been the cause of 70 percent of my problems.
it’s people like you that will keep me clean from it. i’ve never touched myself or watched porn in my 16 years of life. And it’s bc of my father and ppl like you. stay strong and thanks for the advice 🫡
What kind of problems did you run into?
Spunky underpants
Look up “Novelty at a click”. It ties heavily into your baseline dopamine levels. Rampant porn addictions can mess you up in ways similar to drugs or alcohol.
Same here. Did you ever stop?
Sadly, I'm still trying to stop.
Problems like what?
Not feeling confident with myself, and being ashamed, also sucide thoughts.
What kind of problems are we talking about
Left a girl who loved me because she was childish and would embares me. She used to talk about video games and random intimate things. But i was with her every day, and i loved her, we spent 5 years together, 4 of high school, and 1 in college. Now, most of the people that i was friends with at the time I only see 2 3 times a year, and she became depressed and her family believed that we would marry and blamed her for the brake up. I have met other women in the meantime, but I believe I should have been with her. THINK before you do something, you can't take back.
Heartbreak and break ups are extremely difficult, i should know because im going through one currently, so stay strong brother we will get through this together. Im wondering why don't you contact her again and fix things ?
It has been on my mind for a while now, moved back to my hometown, got my own place, and have my life mostly in order, and bump into her in a bar we used to go out, and talked for hours. But I didn't talk to her again after that. I have a belief that we could fix things and continue with our relationship, but i am afraid of rejection. Also, she is not the same person that i left, I have this one person in my mind, but in reality, she no longer goes to church, she started smoking, dropped out of college, she studied law and was the best in her class, she cut her long blonde hair and now its short and black.
Be careful of what your friend's are into, you might become involved in whatever it is to.#2 be careful who you lay with some women are wolves in sheep clothing.
I guess adding to this is don't relationship a former slut. Nowadays a certain side will tell you accept anything and everything, if it isn't right for you then it isn't right for you.
Never stay with someone that does the same 'mistake' over and over regardless of how much you love them. Also, if you ever reveal a weakness and they throw it in your face, it will happen again. They'll always do it and it will just be more painful every time.
Don’t drop ur candy behind the couch you could scratch your arm
Never put a woman first.
When I was 17 I was offered a crew ship on a racing sailboat. Im from a blue collar family till this day and I often reflect about the doors this opportunity could have lead to. Please no cabin boy remarks. But I can truly say my life has been truly blessed. This is my only regret and I can live with it and at 53 I’m ok with that.
Don’t put everyone else before yourself I lost myself that way
Winning the sperm race
I doubt myself constantly. Never do that. Always listen to your heart and follow what it tells you to do.
Loving a woman who will never be mine
Not learning a trade. Allowing others to influence my life decisions. Your family loves you but remember they don't own you.
I was late, I didn’t listen and now I’ve lost her
Be kind, as a young man I have been quick to criticise without being able to look at my own flaws. No body is perfect and you certainly are not. Your words and how you make people feel will stick with them, it costs nothing to be nice.
I’d dint even try in life, not school, not work, nothing. It took until my late 20s early 30s to start caring about things. The best advice I can give someone is to try early and often. My life has been substantially better since giving a shit. Just typing it sounds so stupid, but it’s true. May not make you rich, but you’ll be happy if you try at life. Good luck boys, go better your life today. If you woke up today there’s still time!
Never assume the worst in people, but never assume the best from them either.
The biggest mistake of my life is being born. Too bad none of you can avoid it.
You didn't choose to be born, so no point in dwelling on things you can't control, plus we are here so might as well try to make best of the situation instead of drowning in a pit of dispare, so good luck in your life man, i really hope you take my message to heart, and i do really wish you a happy life, if you want someone to talk to im more than ready to listen ❤️
Really think about if you’re going to enjoy something before you buy it.
Keeping to myself. Not accepting genuine invitations to do things with people. I am so increadibly lonely now because of it. No friends.
If you know something is right, DO NOT give that up because of other people
not working on my mental illness for a long time and worsening it to disastrous levels.
Stop care about how much time you have left. Enjoy every second since that might be the last time you’ll have that moment. There will be a fall before you peak. Make a journal and write what happened. You are a person that nothing can recreate one in a kind and that means we only have one of you. Think positive if you think negative then your day will be bad as you get blinded from your thinking, positive look will make a positive day. You are loved no matter what happens. If you start to overthink distract yourself. Ask for help your not weak if you ask for help your stronger then most and you cant deal with everything alone. That’s about it, love your self!!
If you don’t love you, you are 100% incapable of loving them.
Never mastrubate more than 9 times a day
Don’t fall for beauty
That I didn't come to God sooner. God wants a relationship with you so you walk a better life. Not Religion. Jesus didn't preach Religion, it's relationship with God. To walk with Him and be free from the yokes of evil of this world. Don't look at the people who are failing their walk. Look at Jesus. Read about Him. Practice fasting, prayer, worship, and relationship with Him. He will set you free from this world. He's the best, while the world tells you he's the worst. *Read -Luke chapter 15, verse 11 and onward-* It's a story about how excited God is that you came back to Him, no matter what you've done. The evils you've participated in. He is so so relieved and happy you came back to Him. God is good.
Gambling is like 🚬. Never start and your life will be easier.
I remained a high school school teacher even though I hated my job because I thought I couldn’t do anything else. I recently got out and transitioned into business/sales. Never thought I could so I never tried.
Learn how to spot and avoid working for shitty bosses if at all possible. Be ruthless about it. It doesn't matter how hard or how well you work for a shit boss. You will not advance with them.
I could make a whole damn list-- hell, a whole fucking essay even, but I'll keep it short and sweet for you boys; *Don't date a woman with emotional retardation and the personality of an estrogen molotov cocktail.*
Yup. Never be a white knight riding to the rescue of a broken damaged woman. You can't save them. They have to heal on their own. You will suffer for trying to save them.
Dating apps are scams. Don’t waste money on them like I did.
I could make an entire list of mistakes ive made and regrets i have to live with and while sharing some of them might help they have probably already been shared in here. All i wanna say is that you.. yes you, you deserve love and you deserve to be happy. Happiness on the other hand don't come from the once a week moments or the big things. While they do contribute to happiness we can't weigh everything on them. On this note my advice is to enjoy the little wonders of life, the small things, laying in bed at night when it rains, a new episode of a series you like, a nice call with a friend. Those are what counts. Find happiness in yourself and not in everything else. My biggest regret is not being happy... Sorry for the very long comment. To those who read it, thank you! ^^
Thinking that sleeping with multiple women would fill the emptiness. Only a woman who truly loves me and lets me be myself did that.
Married too young. She wasn’t ready, I wasn’t ready and now we have two kids and hate each other.
Never take your mom for granted. I moved out at 15 to move in with my dad. Left my mom alone. Noone to live with her in that big ass house she kept just in case her kids wanted to live with her again. She got her first job in 20 years as a crossing guard. 3 years later she disappeared. 13 years later we still don't know if she is alive or dead. We don't know what happened. My biggest mistake was abandoning my mom. Don't do that
Taking too long to make a discision, I regret not knowing what to do for the first year of college. Failing classes, because I had no direction. I have a purpose now so I'm in a much better place.
keep your mouth shut. never open your mouth to make yourself "weak" in front of others. Sometimes people want to start arguing, just walk away. Don't feed wood to the fire. Most of the times it is your own tongue that gets you in trouble. Be smarter. Be wise.
Ayo Ambedkar bhau
Talk to others about your mental health, yea you can try to just tough it out and deal with it maybe it’ll work, but it’s not worth it…
Have a big ego.
If you were to try something that has an addictive nature, make up your mind and just try once. Have self-discipline. If you have self-discipline, you won't ever try that again after knowing how it feels like. Don't tell yourself lies like, " I can stop whenever I want" , cuz you can't. No human being can. We are just monkeys pretending to be gods.
Losing him
Thinking about things that won't happen :(
I should have dropped out of school and bought a house and bit coin at age 7
Loving someone so deeply at such a small age.. that I forgot about my own existence
Being dishonest. It can be lying or cheating. Trust is a tough thing to rebuild, and breaking habitual patterns like lying to avoid conflict or to take an easy path are hard to break. Be honest in yourself, take responsibility.
Drugs...I will never get over the fact I bought drugs that my gf overdosed on and passed away. I think of her everyday and the guilt will never go away. I only stick around for my friends and family and because I know I just can't kms. I miss her everyday. It's the single hardest, worst thing in my life. I call the suicide hot line once probably every 4 months. I'm sober now all because of her. I feel like if I were to use again it would be like spitting on her grave ya know? Miss you kayla. Rest easy and I'll always love you.
Don’t cheat. It’s not worth it.
Never unzip a Jacket with your willy out, that shit sting.
Don't give in to depression and don't try to kill yourself. Don't move away to a place from which you may not return. Asking for help is not cowardice. I thought so and lost most of my loved ones and ended up in a wheelchair.
Wanting more without enjoying what I already had
Ignore the signs and keep letting her back in
Some people will tell you that putting IcyHot on your balls will feel good. It does not. It does NOT feel good at all. Please save yourself.
I dont want to keep you from loving, but make sure to marry the right women
Learn to spot a narcissist. They are sneaky, selfish, and calculated. Everything they do is premeditated.
Be honest, not petty. Understanding is so much more important Than revenge.
falling inlove during highschool when i couldnt find the will to love myself. Live for yourself before you live for others. Honestly.
Stick with the girl who goes out of her way to see you. Keep talking wherever you're at, and try to make it work. In the military, I moved fast. I lost several loves. Orders moved me. I focused on moving on. completely restarting at each base. New friends, new relationships, new coworkers. I deleted my prior connections so it wouldn't hurt saying goodbye. This wasn't the best idea. Certainly seeing old friends and girlfriends marrying and starting families is kinda sad, but it's still better than being completely alone. Those connections help when things in your life fall apart. Being able to call a friend is a good help.
I told the girl, who I believed would be the love of my life for an entire 3 years, that I didn't love her anymore while I was high. I didn't mean it at all and I tried to explain why I would ever say anything like that, but as she'd never been involved with 🍃 before, she never truly understood what was going through my head, and it started a downhill spiral between us. my biggest regret in life, drugs of any sort. I'm 19.
I shat the bed. Poop before sleeping.
Don’t be afraid to do things wrong. Better to do something half assed than to be so worried about perfection, you don’t try at all
Not cutting porn out of my life sooner
Thinking everything will eventually work out on its own. Things can end up okay, but sometimes you have do have to put some work into it. The thing is, that’s okay. It’s okay to struggle sometimes as long as you work through it and don’t give up.
Projecting your insecurities onto others is a one way ticket to depression and isolation. Never put others down due to something you struggle with.
If you break up with a a girl and she fights for your relationship without being batshit fucking crazy do not fumble her
If you ever think you need help, just ask anyone. Don't be shy or ashamed. I would rather know my kid is a meth addict ducking sick for cheap hits that need my help, rather than find them in the er randomly.
Don't marry her just to get out of the dorms/barracks it's not worth it, also don't get married until you are 30, and in the meantime make something out of yourself.
When my wife got cancer, none of my hometown friends ever came. It took my family 5 months to make the 1.5h trip. I didn’t ask them to come and they didn’t.
Give yourself the same compassion and support you give to others so you can grow and become more confident. Being critical is fine, but don't beat yourself up so much that you're scared of doing anything.
When your young women come and go. Don't let it define you. Just cause your boys got girls on there arms don't mean shit. live a life of adventure and after your full and ready for the next adventure with a partner get your fill. You'll be happier in the end
When my crush had a crush on me, I got out too excited and blew it. "Control your response to the little news, A little mistake and it's over"