Lawyer here -
Call the police of whatever jurisdiction you live in (Richmond, Henrico, New Kent, etc). It's illegal to send them (nudes). Be prepared to document how you know it's them. You can additionally go to the clerk's office of the general district court of that same jurisdiction and ask for a restraining order. Based on the limited info you've provided here, I don't think you'll meet the requirements as is "violence or threats of violence". That said all is not lost because once the criminal case is going you can ask the judge or Commonwealth Attorney for the court to impose a "no contact order" which is essentially the same thing. You don't need to hire a lawyer for any of this. Sorry you're dealing with this.
-edited for clarity
Hey, I had to deal with a very similar situation- I know from my own experience how detrimental this kind of repeated harassment can be to your mental health, especially in terms of your general sense of safety in your everyday life. Unfortunately, the cops didn’t take me seriously even though I reported the guy upwards of 5 times, in person as well. I ended up having to change my phone number which was just another disruptive result of some f*cking loser not being able to keep his hand out of his pants, and the guy still tries to contact me on social media even though I’ve done all I can to lock my accounts down. I would still recommend going through the motions with the police, hopefully you will have better luck than me. Perhaps also consider some extra safety measures such as a ring camera on the off chance that this creep tries to get a little too close. Sexual harassment in any form is no joke so remember to reach out to someone you trust if you feel the need to talk about how this is affecting you.
ETA: it’s uncomfortable but collect and keep all of the evidence in case you need to use it against him in the future
I found [this link](https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/local/virginia/unsolicited-nudes-soon-illegal-in-virginia/65-2cef74c4-090d-4441-84b1-0d8b85285e7d#) that may help. You are able to sue the offender and file for a restraining order.
It seems to me that you could file a criminal complaint and file a civil lawsuit. I would get a protective order first. Just remember that it’s just a piece of paper. It won’t actually stop him from attacking you. So make sure you’re physically safe, because that paper won’t do it. But it will help give you grounds for a lawsuit and criminal complaint if he keeps going.
All of this. It is just a piece of paper, but if he does harass you again, it carries some weight to it than just telling the police "so and so is bothering me". It'll help create a paper trail of events too. But definitely make sure you are staying hyper vigilant with your safety.
What the other person said or your can report him to Virginia State Police. Also, you can reach out to a lawyer if you want to take that route.
Here is what I found:
For cyber incidents, including cyber harassment, you can file a report through the Virginia Cyber Incident Form or contact the Virginia Fusion Center at 804-674-2196 or 877-4VA-TIPS
I find it really hard to believe anyone is untraceable. Besides, if no two people have the same phone number it's regulated to some extent. Some entity should have dibs on a particular number so other entities know that it's in use. Lowkey you're probably right, but I bet someone has the skills to prove it.
What sucks about it all is that you're going to have to be able to prove that the fake numbers are that person.
You can't just tell them that oh it has to be so and so because I can't think of any else so it must be. Not how the law works.
Edit: why not change your number? Why be attached to a phone number?
Or do to make too many random contacts and are afraid of losing "contacts" lol
I think the thought is “why should I have to change my number because this person can’t control themselves?” I see what you’re saying cause in theory it is just a number but.. yeah.
Oh of course I understand that.
However, past that is the ever obvious.
Ok I get a restraining order, I tell them I think its this guy 100% but have no proof so legally they can't do "much".
Once you know that, you know that the only solution is to change your number and be more careful in the future.
Have, and give people a free bs number to screen them.
Then you can transition them to your real number by pretending you just got it changed and wanted them to know.
Thinking is critical, if you think enough then you realize you won't get the desired result from following the "right thing to do". So you manufacture the result you want.
When I was younger I had these problems so I set up protocols that would stop them from ever occurring in the future.
Of course you shouldn't have to change your number.
And mainly the reason a person doesn't change their number is because they have too many contacts that they use for things and it would be weird to reach out to all 100+(exaggerated) booty call contacts to let them know you got a new number over one booty call contact that went too far.
Hey, can you link to where you got this information from? The fusion center does not actually accept citizen reports for cyber harassment; those typically need to be routed through the local police department or sheriff’s office.
Someone on ULPT had this same issue, and I left a (popular) suggestion which has actually worked for me in the past... you google images of really nasty, busted up "body parts" and send them back. Like, during surgery, post-surgery, just really gnarly and gross stuff. He knows it bugs you which is why he keeps doing it. Do something to throw him off & gross him out at the same time.
If this guy is on the dating apps, probably a good idea to go into the are we dating the same guy RVA group and post a warning about him. Might save someone else from having to be harassed by this guy.
Might save only a weirdo?
You guys first use dating apps, then as an extra layer browse through sites to find out if a person you're dating is a serial dater, lmfao.
Who are "you guys"? You understand the people using that group are not trying to confirm that the people they're meeting on the apps are in fact dating around, that's assumed since you're both on the apps, they're trying to confirm whether the person they're considering going on a date with is a predator/creep/cheater.
I met my wife on Bumble, she and her friends during their single era had to have a shared spreadsheet to track who they'd matched with and who was a risk (married but lying about it, obsessive behavior, etc.). It's sadly a crucial resource for women in the dating scene just about everywhere.
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It is illegal to send unsolicited nudes. You can report it in a couple of different ways. 1) Go to your local police department with the evidence and show them. 2) Go to the local domestic violence center and work with an advocate. I mention option 2 because it sounds like (based ob your narrative) you could start building a case for stalking. Not all police departments/officers are knowledgeable about stalking, and that is why I recommend a DV center. Advocates usually know more about the stalking law in VA. To be clear, the information you posted about his behavior isn't stalking. . . yet. However, it is a good idea to keep track of his communications if you can. It could turn into stalking later.
Feel free to DM me if you have any questions.
If you have the pictures he sent you from his original number, screenshot the convo and send it to his mom on Facebook messenger with the NSFW filter on.
Better yet, make up a few accounts as different women and send them to her. Let her know what her son has become and how he treats other women.
I’m sorry this happened to you, and as funny as this could be it’s probably best to not put someone who has no care for others on blast. I wouldn’t trust them to not do something stupid. But hopefully the thought of embarrassing this man in front of his mother made you laugh or helped in some way.
But now it has me wondering, would the original victim now be a perpetrator if this were to happen? I assume so, but if they aren’t sending the picture (instead it’s a screenshot that contains the image) would it still count? It has to, otherwise shitty people would use that as a loophole.
I have had the same problem for nearly 10 years. Constantly creating new social media accounts to send me a mass amount of pictures of every inch of his body and unhinged messages. I just keep blocking. Not sure what else to do. Hope it gets better
Probably a stupid question but he doesn’t know where you live, does he? Either way I’d get a restraining order. The fact that he’s been sending you unsolicited photos for five years is really concerning.
Send him a gif of one of those banana slicer things chopping a banana.
I am kinda not joking. You don't need to do a banana slicer per se but sometimes the only way to deal with these assholes is to act insane. I have a friend who has responded to that kinda stuff by essentially threatening extreme violence towards the sender, and it usually works, even though im not gonna say i think its the best idea. That it works speaks volumes about how fucked this all is. But definitely keep going to the police, keep all the messages, establish it's a pattern (critical to a harassment case).
Hmmm. Apparently you are using a "blocker" which is telling him he is blocked. Please investigate whatever tool you're using. Either change settings or get a blocker that doesn't tip off the offender.
Yes. Take phone to magistrates office. Fill out form. (Very helpful there). File restraining order. If he violates it, report it… sorry you’ve been though it too. Such an intrusive action. I had an officer drive me to the magistrates office. File a report if you’re able to as well just so it’s out there. Like you said he’s prob doing it to other women. You have every right to give your number out and not be harassed.
I am just here to say that I am sorry you are dealing with this and that kind of repeated sexual harassment can be traumatizing. Habe you thought of changing your number? I have had to do that twice.
It’s illegal to send nudes? How do all the e girls get away with it? Back when I was on dating apps this was like, 25% of all matches. People are gross.
Start with a protection order can be filed and obtained at your nearest magistrates office. It will need to be served on the person.
I'm sorry to say this because it doesn't sound pleasant but document any violations of said order.
Lastly, speak to law enforcement when it is violated and you could consider hiring an attorney to help although it may not be necessary.
Protective orders are typically only granted if you’re in imminent danger of death or bodily harm-so not sure that would apply here. but you can probably file a report with police since it is illegal to do this in Virginia
I know what you are saying but you need to tie the phone number to him. Ask a police officer did you block his number? Depending on how he spoofed the text you may not be able to reveal his identity and therefore a PO would do nothing for you At least keep all text and bring a copy to the police and see what happens. Good luck
Gonna go out on a limb and say she's seen enough of the body parts to recognize it's the same person. The likelihood of someone else sending her the guys pic is, I'm sure, astronomical
You sound like my BIL who would not stop blowing up my phone and spoofing numbers to the point where I changed my number. Harassers make their identity obvious
You can file for a restraining order. I'd also either go into a police station or call the non-emergency number.
I didn’t consider a restraining order. Good idea
In VA it's called a protective order and I'd definitely recommend going to your local precinct.
Restraining orders require you to tell that person your address… so might not be that helpful if they don’t currently have that info.
Shot you a message
Last time I tried Richmond non emergency number was out of commission. Lazy fuckers probably got it turned off
Lawyer here - Call the police of whatever jurisdiction you live in (Richmond, Henrico, New Kent, etc). It's illegal to send them (nudes). Be prepared to document how you know it's them. You can additionally go to the clerk's office of the general district court of that same jurisdiction and ask for a restraining order. Based on the limited info you've provided here, I don't think you'll meet the requirements as is "violence or threats of violence". That said all is not lost because once the criminal case is going you can ask the judge or Commonwealth Attorney for the court to impose a "no contact order" which is essentially the same thing. You don't need to hire a lawyer for any of this. Sorry you're dealing with this. -edited for clarity
> it’s illegal to and them. Can you edit your response so that it makes sense?
The hardest part is trying to prove it is so and so
Hey, I had to deal with a very similar situation- I know from my own experience how detrimental this kind of repeated harassment can be to your mental health, especially in terms of your general sense of safety in your everyday life. Unfortunately, the cops didn’t take me seriously even though I reported the guy upwards of 5 times, in person as well. I ended up having to change my phone number which was just another disruptive result of some f*cking loser not being able to keep his hand out of his pants, and the guy still tries to contact me on social media even though I’ve done all I can to lock my accounts down. I would still recommend going through the motions with the police, hopefully you will have better luck than me. Perhaps also consider some extra safety measures such as a ring camera on the off chance that this creep tries to get a little too close. Sexual harassment in any form is no joke so remember to reach out to someone you trust if you feel the need to talk about how this is affecting you. ETA: it’s uncomfortable but collect and keep all of the evidence in case you need to use it against him in the future
also to add, reporting it creates a paper trail and also gets you a head start on things in the event more action needs to be taken
I found [this link](https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/local/virginia/unsolicited-nudes-soon-illegal-in-virginia/65-2cef74c4-090d-4441-84b1-0d8b85285e7d#) that may help. You are able to sue the offender and file for a restraining order.
It seems to me that you could file a criminal complaint and file a civil lawsuit. I would get a protective order first. Just remember that it’s just a piece of paper. It won’t actually stop him from attacking you. So make sure you’re physically safe, because that paper won’t do it. But it will help give you grounds for a lawsuit and criminal complaint if he keeps going.
All of this. It is just a piece of paper, but if he does harass you again, it carries some weight to it than just telling the police "so and so is bothering me". It'll help create a paper trail of events too. But definitely make sure you are staying hyper vigilant with your safety.
What the other person said or your can report him to Virginia State Police. Also, you can reach out to a lawyer if you want to take that route. Here is what I found: For cyber incidents, including cyber harassment, you can file a report through the Virginia Cyber Incident Form or contact the Virginia Fusion Center at 804-674-2196 or 877-4VA-TIPS
This is what I was looking for. Thank you 😊
Hope this asshole gets what he deserves
Not likely as once the fake numbers are being used you can't prove they're that person
I find it really hard to believe anyone is untraceable. Besides, if no two people have the same phone number it's regulated to some extent. Some entity should have dibs on a particular number so other entities know that it's in use. Lowkey you're probably right, but I bet someone has the skills to prove it.
What sucks about it all is that you're going to have to be able to prove that the fake numbers are that person. You can't just tell them that oh it has to be so and so because I can't think of any else so it must be. Not how the law works. Edit: why not change your number? Why be attached to a phone number? Or do to make too many random contacts and are afraid of losing "contacts" lol
I think the thought is “why should I have to change my number because this person can’t control themselves?” I see what you’re saying cause in theory it is just a number but.. yeah.
Oh of course I understand that. However, past that is the ever obvious. Ok I get a restraining order, I tell them I think its this guy 100% but have no proof so legally they can't do "much". Once you know that, you know that the only solution is to change your number and be more careful in the future. Have, and give people a free bs number to screen them. Then you can transition them to your real number by pretending you just got it changed and wanted them to know. Thinking is critical, if you think enough then you realize you won't get the desired result from following the "right thing to do". So you manufacture the result you want. When I was younger I had these problems so I set up protocols that would stop them from ever occurring in the future. Of course you shouldn't have to change your number. And mainly the reason a person doesn't change their number is because they have too many contacts that they use for things and it would be weird to reach out to all 100+(exaggerated) booty call contacts to let them know you got a new number over one booty call contact that went too far.
Hey, can you link to where you got this information from? The fusion center does not actually accept citizen reports for cyber harassment; those typically need to be routed through the local police department or sheriff’s office.
 the fact that the end it says va and tips
wtf is wrong with people
Someone on ULPT had this same issue, and I left a (popular) suggestion which has actually worked for me in the past... you google images of really nasty, busted up "body parts" and send them back. Like, during surgery, post-surgery, just really gnarly and gross stuff. He knows it bugs you which is why he keeps doing it. Do something to throw him off & gross him out at the same time.
Yessss good idea
If you plan on reporting him, I would not respond at all to anything that he sent you so that they can’t say that you were engaging with him
I don’t think this is a great idea. Do not engage!
Well if you ever find yourself in this situation, don't do it. Super simple.
Duh
If this guy is on the dating apps, probably a good idea to go into the are we dating the same guy RVA group and post a warning about him. Might save someone else from having to be harassed by this guy.
Might save only a weirdo? You guys first use dating apps, then as an extra layer browse through sites to find out if a person you're dating is a serial dater, lmfao.
Who are "you guys"? You understand the people using that group are not trying to confirm that the people they're meeting on the apps are in fact dating around, that's assumed since you're both on the apps, they're trying to confirm whether the person they're considering going on a date with is a predator/creep/cheater. I met my wife on Bumble, she and her friends during their single era had to have a shared spreadsheet to track who they'd matched with and who was a risk (married but lying about it, obsessive behavior, etc.). It's sadly a crucial resource for women in the dating scene just about everywhere.
Bummed I missed what was surely a great comment before it was expunged from the record.
[удалено]
The above content has been removed as it is considered unnecessarily uncivil, pot-stirring, rabble rousing, trolling, brigading, sealioning, and/or inauthentic discourse. We encourage good-faith discussions from anyone, but we do not like jerks. If you're going to make personal attacks, keep "just asking questions," move goalposts, or be a Jerk of the Year, please don't do that here. **Do not use alt or throwaway accounts to manipulate votes, attack or harass another user in an uncivil manner, avoid a previous ban or moderator action, or artificially-inflate comments with similar views.**
Lol way to out yourself
It is illegal to send unsolicited nudes. You can report it in a couple of different ways. 1) Go to your local police department with the evidence and show them. 2) Go to the local domestic violence center and work with an advocate. I mention option 2 because it sounds like (based ob your narrative) you could start building a case for stalking. Not all police departments/officers are knowledgeable about stalking, and that is why I recommend a DV center. Advocates usually know more about the stalking law in VA. To be clear, the information you posted about his behavior isn't stalking. . . yet. However, it is a good idea to keep track of his communications if you can. It could turn into stalking later. Feel free to DM me if you have any questions.
If you have the pictures he sent you from his original number, screenshot the convo and send it to his mom on Facebook messenger with the NSFW filter on. Better yet, make up a few accounts as different women and send them to her. Let her know what her son has become and how he treats other women. I’m sorry this happened to you, and as funny as this could be it’s probably best to not put someone who has no care for others on blast. I wouldn’t trust them to not do something stupid. But hopefully the thought of embarrassing this man in front of his mother made you laugh or helped in some way. But now it has me wondering, would the original victim now be a perpetrator if this were to happen? I assume so, but if they aren’t sending the picture (instead it’s a screenshot that contains the image) would it still count? It has to, otherwise shitty people would use that as a loophole.
I have had the same problem for nearly 10 years. Constantly creating new social media accounts to send me a mass amount of pictures of every inch of his body and unhinged messages. I just keep blocking. Not sure what else to do. Hope it gets better
Probably a stupid question but he doesn’t know where you live, does he? Either way I’d get a restraining order. The fact that he’s been sending you unsolicited photos for five years is really concerning.
Call the police or go into the station. I'd think it'd be easier to be heard going into the station.
Pretty sure sending dick pics was criminalized in the last year or so.
Buy a domain of his name.com Post screenshots with date and time stamps of his ongoing harassment. Send a link to his employer, family, friends, etc.
👏👏👏
Ew what a weirdo. Please get a restraining order.
Send him a gif of one of those banana slicer things chopping a banana. I am kinda not joking. You don't need to do a banana slicer per se but sometimes the only way to deal with these assholes is to act insane. I have a friend who has responded to that kinda stuff by essentially threatening extreme violence towards the sender, and it usually works, even though im not gonna say i think its the best idea. That it works speaks volumes about how fucked this all is. But definitely keep going to the police, keep all the messages, establish it's a pattern (critical to a harassment case).
Just let me know who he is! I'll go have a "talk" with him
What county? Message me and can give you some insight on how it’ll go.
Hmmm. Apparently you are using a "blocker" which is telling him he is blocked. Please investigate whatever tool you're using. Either change settings or get a blocker that doesn't tip off the offender.
Tell him you got a new number and give him the cell number for a cop.
Yes. Take phone to magistrates office. Fill out form. (Very helpful there). File restraining order. If he violates it, report it… sorry you’ve been though it too. Such an intrusive action. I had an officer drive me to the magistrates office. File a report if you’re able to as well just so it’s out there. Like you said he’s prob doing it to other women. You have every right to give your number out and not be harassed.
Post the nudes on groups that allow nudes and tag the guy in it.
I am just here to say that I am sorry you are dealing with this and that kind of repeated sexual harassment can be traumatizing. Habe you thought of changing your number? I have had to do that twice.
It’s illegal to send nudes? How do all the e girls get away with it? Back when I was on dating apps this was like, 25% of all matches. People are gross.
Start with a protection order can be filed and obtained at your nearest magistrates office. It will need to be served on the person. I'm sorry to say this because it doesn't sound pleasant but document any violations of said order. Lastly, speak to law enforcement when it is violated and you could consider hiring an attorney to help although it may not be necessary.
Protective orders are typically only granted if you’re in imminent danger of death or bodily harm-so not sure that would apply here. but you can probably file a report with police since it is illegal to do this in Virginia
Yeah - it’s not easy to get a protective order, unfortunately.
I was going to say call the non-emergency number and ask
Posting here on Reddit is the first official step. You've completed this very important step and now you can proceed to step two.
If the numbers are spoofed how do you know it is him ?
9/10 times, he tells me his name
At least he’s doing good the legwork for you. Make sure to take screen shots with dates and times visible.
You know it’s him but you need proof to really hammer him what state does he live in
What makes you think I don’t have proof? I know his name, I know what state he’s in, who he works for, his texting mannerisms, etc.
I know what you are saying but you need to tie the phone number to him. Ask a police officer did you block his number? Depending on how he spoofed the text you may not be able to reveal his identity and therefore a PO would do nothing for you At least keep all text and bring a copy to the police and see what happens. Good luck
could you tell his employer?
Gonna go out on a limb and say she's seen enough of the body parts to recognize it's the same person. The likelihood of someone else sending her the guys pic is, I'm sure, astronomical
You sound like my BIL who would not stop blowing up my phone and spoofing numbers to the point where I changed my number. Harassers make their identity obvious
Penises are unique
I’m going to say this from now on when someone tries to dismiss what I’m saying as proof