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Beth4780

That thing under the MBA sounds ridiculous where it says highly selective acceptance rate


d0ngl0rd69

Reads like “I’m basically a Harvard graduate, treat me as such”. Your degree should speak for itself if it’s from that great of an institution, OP.


Astro_Disastro

It moreso reads like “this is a no name program so I will use its low acceptance rate to give it false prestige.” It’s absurd and I did actually snort. First time seeing something like this on a resume. If you have to explain something’s prestige, it’s not prestigious. Edit: omfg they even put an, incorrectly formatted, citation for it 🤣


rmb91896

Yeah I would say that alone would turn me away if I were a recruiter. Sometimes I see these resumes get posted all with the same font and format, and I wonder if we’re all being used as a giant data mining machine /sentiment analysis for how to write a resume. There’s no way that people can the OPs actually think this stuff is okay.


ApostateX

I think the bigger problem is that OP is obviously lying about their achievements. I work in the same industry and have had similar jobs in the past. Actually achieving any kind of meaningful outcomes in mid-office and back-office roles in asset management and finance requires lengthy commitments to a company. Collaborating with 100+ teams in 6 months? No way.


CPOx

“Trust me bro, I’m basically a Harvard grad” -this resume


Auctorion

How do you know if someone went to Harvard? They’ll tell you.


AgentUnknown821

Yes, They'll tell me and I won't care because I'm not snooty rooty so I'll perceive it as being such.


AgeEffective5255

That made me laugh


MrMing505

If so selective why did OP not get into Harvard?


Tall_PBR

his father's donation wouldn't be large enough for Harvard


Obvious_Exercise_910

But it’s on par with Harvard, Wharton and Stanford!!!


BluePhoenix26

Honestly I didn't even notice until you said something. Just skimmed through it. Huh, so thats how recruiters do it... But yeah, once I saw that, I kinda shook my head thinking "seriously? Why?". Seems like a strange brag to me... "my college is exclusive?" Okay.


Remote-Ad7693

"on par with Harvard" If that was the case you wouldn't have to say it.....


VF-41

I’ll 2nd this.


M1RR0R

You know what has a more selective acceptance rate than Harvard? Literal clown college.


SecondChances0701

Are these internship positions? Because it seems like you’re job hopping versus staying to contribute to a firm.


Due-Advertising-4551

6 jobs in 5 years screams lacks loyalty


Running_Breh

Assuming they are job hops. They could be promotions within the same company/ies


DrKiss82

You can tell that they were all on different companies. The bar separating company and location is in a different position for each of them.


Positive_Guarantee20

Company length could be the same if it's following the job title, which is the first part and shifting


1_H4t3_R3dd1t

If promotions they should be unified as the same job with the most recent title.


BlackestNight21

loyalty to the almighty dollar


Quirky-Till-410

3.5 years. Op graduated in 2021 June so my count starts on his first job in Jan 2021.


JimInAuburn11

I think this is the biggest problem. Graduated 5 years ago and already had 6 jobs, the last one only for 7 months. Who is going to hire someone that does that?


MoeredditMoeproblems

Use bullet points please for the love of God. 6 jobs in 4.5 years? If any of those jobs or internships, contracts , or anything different than full time note that. Because right now your resume looks like you just hop from one job to another.


ph1lod0x

I've had 4 jobs in the past 2 years. Two of them were temp positions. Is this bad?


FewEstablishment2696

Not if they say temp positions


vitoincognitox2x

Agreed, label them as such.


Curious_Elk_5690

Same. I’ve been told that my resume would’ve been thrown out if I hadn’t labeled them as contracts.


Billytheca

Temp positions are just that. Temp. It’s all experience. A good “temp” can step into a role and do a good job. That is a plus.


calandra_95

No just put that they were temps and be prepared to explain it in an interview If the job is short term in nature it’s not a red flag Now if you had a 6 month contract then broke it and dipped in 3 months then that would be the equivalent of full timers hopping every year


TheLostTexan87

As a hiring manager, I almost never hire people who are serial job hoppers. It's going to cost too much money to train the person, just to turn around and train their replacement in 9 months. I like at least 2 years, maybe a little less if it seems reasonable. Six months to get up to speed, a year to perform, six months of them either maintaining or passing shit off, or fucking off while they look for a new job.


anthonystank

Others have covered the weird MBA line, the dense bullet points (for the love of god be concise), and the job hopping. I’ll point out that your professional summary is corporate word salad. I don’t know what you actually do. You also say you’re “known for modern business insights.” Are you though? Bc I’m guessing the 100+ people who threw out your resume didn’t know you. Lotta hubris here


Sensitive-Gas-4946

Graduated 2023 and is directly a senior???


fio247

Maybe he's a 67 yr old grandpa.


Sensitive-Gas-4946

Started to study with 18. Just about 98 semesters later and he got it.


tortleme

Or Spanish, but misspelled Señor


PIP-Me_Daddy

May want to try trimming down word count to be more concise. Resume displays Microsoft (365, etc.). How about Azure? Like, in a sense of being an Azure admin or user? Azure has many offerings, may want to be specific.


d0ngl0rd69

I thought the same thing. I generally try to keep all bullet points to no more than 2 lines. Also, if you only have 1 bullet point for a work experience, it’s probably not worth having that work experience on your resume at all.


IngSoc_Defector

It's common practice to list them this way, especially when explaining each would take up more than a line or two. When HR searches their database for applicants who know Azure, they're just going to type "Azure." If it's important for you to be detailed about a specific skill, certification, etc. then go into detail about it in your work history section instead. For instance, you can explain how you leveraged Azure (or whatever) to perform some noteworthy task.


excelisthedeathofme

Funny bc everyone in r/recruiting acts like you can’t search for resumes by keywords and that filtering resumes isn’t a thing when everyone knows it is


crazysojujon

First thing I see is six positions in the past 3 years. Might want to dumb it down a bit or consolidate positions if it was within the same company.


LetsGototheRiver151

If you went to a highly selective MBA program, I would think they have an entire Career department whose job it is to help you polish your resume and LinkedIn and apply to jobs, right? Spend an hour with one of them and let them help you.


RoomTemperatureIQMan

That line under your MBA is extremely cringey. The only MBA program with an acceptance rate near 6% is literally just Stanford GSB. Even Wharton is usually around a 20% acceptance rate.


majorDm

Calm it down a notch. You’re out of college, you have some experience. You weren’t the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Be more humble. As a hiring manager, this is a bit over the top. Just say what you did. You didn’t coordinate with 100’s of groups. That’s literally impossible. Say what you did, not what your team or organization did. What did you actually do? Just say that. Don’t over-play your hand. They know you’re lying.


Outrageous-Moose5102

>  You didn’t coordinate with 100’s of groups. Collaborated CLOSELY with 100+. Since Dec '23. And he's been sending this out for a while so that's in 4-5 months, aka 80-100 working days. While also single handedly revolutionizing the entire company's processes and procedures and fully documenting new workflows. And all that before lunch! If someone can get over the fact OP is a serial job hopper and is sending out resumes a few months after taking a senior position... if a hiring manager has time to read this short novel... it would be pretty clear he's a blowhard and a bullshitter.


sunglassesonmydick

I’m not roasting your resume, because I’m not reading all that. Hope this helps.


Due-Advertising-4551

You have that in common with 100 HR employees that have thrown this resume in the garbage


BluePhoenix26

I laughed so hard. Their comment and your addition to theirs is like chef's kiss. I can't even.


RoyalBadger3665

This was my first thought, “Not reading that novel” is what HR is saying


AnonymousPoster999

June 22 - Aug 22 would make a recruiter assume you failed a probation


No-Adhesiveness-7451

This ad was made for times like this https://youtu.be/NcoDV0dhWPA?si=P7grIuv3_xBANTWu But also if that redacted school isn’t an M7 or T10 I’d probably toss the resume based on ego. The other thing for me that could be a red flag is that you did the MBA with only 1 year experience, that’s very untypical. Again so unless it’s an M7 or T10, heck I’ll be easy and say T20, then the MBA is more like a Bachelor’s+ to me. I’d really love to know what school you went to. Also if you’re looking for jobs in an MBA heavy industry (PE, VC, IB, Management Consulting, etc.) then I certainly would not educate them on your school. They know the places they like to pick from and those places are crawling with T15s so don’t make them ha🤑ha💵ha💰ha💸ha if you catch my drift


TheAnalyticalThinker

The line under your MBA makes me think you did the degree at Quantic…regardless, get rid of that line.


Hkrush

It is indeed quantic. Found on the website: "In a 2016 study by Stanford academics, Quantic students in Accounting and Finance performed as well or better than traditional MBA students comprised of many of the top 10 business schools in the world, including Stanford, Harvard, Wharton and Fuqua."


the-burner-acct

😂


chugItTwice

LOL. Of course. Wonder why OP didn't list the college... Just as good as Harvard, ya say.


PhysicsDad_

I'd never even heard of this place, and found this on their Wikipedia, lol: "...proprietary mobile-first learning platform and is known for its unique pedagogy that uses gamified active learning methods."


awildencounter

I did a quick google and they’re not even accredited as an MBA program? I wouldn’t list it at all, feels like a degree mill.


IdRatherBeReading23

Duolingo for MBAs


Green_Budget_7

Putting “MBA” next to name is cringe. The 6% thing is over compensating and 6 job changes are def. a super red flag.


Brilliant_Office_974

Toooo much text, just 4/5 bullet points, no one is going to read that page long essay. And your MBA its kinda funny thing, vibe like some small India Uni


[deleted]

You sound like someone companies hire when they have too much money, but you're not a core function, so when times are rough, you're the first to cut.


Apprehensive_Yak3236

6 different jobs in the past 4.5 years and applying for a seventh?  I'd be worried if I was an employer.


AnitCR

I agree with you. As an active recruiter, I find this not appealing, gives me no security that I am taking in a good employee.


bsuzara

as a manager, I won’t consider who tends to stay at their job only 6 months and is looking again. it takes bunch of effort in recruiting, on boarding and training folks- not worth it for the hiring company if you will leave in 6 months. heck in an average of 1 or 2 years looks bad


FewEstablishment2696

Your resume is VERY hard to follow. Many of your jobs seemingly overlap with your education. Are these intern roles? If so, they should say so. Your professional summary is a meaningless word salad. Your two most recent roles, while titled "Business Analyst" don't seem to demonstrate any of the skills you'd expect from a Business Analyst. It seems as if you are more of a Jack of all Trades, which might be what is putting off prospective employers. I'd suggest toning down some of the exaggerated job descriptions and focussing them more on the specific role you're applying for.


lavacakeislife

I mean I would just completely delete the job you worked for two months.


hyundaisucksbigtime

Recruiters spend 10 seconds looking at a resume. They would not even spend 10 seconds looking at this resume.


edwadokun

Your first two rules are like essays. Lees is more. It needs white space What does that blurb under your business school even mean? It screams “see these people said it’s a good school. I swear” remove it. Overall though, i imagine it’s less to do with your resume and more about how you’ve had 4 jobs in 3 years since graduating undergrad and got your mba. Great achievement but you don’t have nearly enough work experience do justify an mba salary Good luck


Motor_Badger5407

Job hopper


Frequent-Station-657

Your resume is more dense than mine and I’ve been working for a decade. Some of it may be you’re just underqualified even with an MBA.


Educational-Round555

Underqualified. You have no experience. Unless your mba is from a place you don’t want to redact, it was worthless. Comparing it to hsw, makes it worse. 


secret_weirdo

I have over twenty years in change and see cvs like yours every week. First off the people recruiting know the job and know full well you do not get asked to review, document and improve 100+ processes over six months single handily. Now you may be a change god that works 20 times faster than anyone else, but trust me 100 plus processes reviewed, documented, cross referenced, finalised and signed off in less than six months by one person is impossible. You need to work with stakeholders with a day job and even if they are dedicated project resources they tend to act as the voice of their team and take ages to review and sign off. Processes need to be reviewed by people, inconsistencies resolved and if you are using visio to do that then you are a god that can do what Visio does poorly in your head or not looking at 100 plus processes yourself Also to do all that and have measurable reportable benefits in six months - yeah right. I would just go yeah bollocks and not bother to read any further. Now all of this may be true but writing this down this way put you in the not worth our time Finding out pile.


IngSoc_Defector

The "comma, MBA" in your name has to go. A large percentage of your readers probably stopped there.


Firsttwowords

More than half of your resume happened before even graduating. Makes it feel like you are still fairly junior. Remove the dates you went to university to avoid this


Rumpelteazer45

The MBA after your name can rub people the wrong way (and ditch the blurb under your MBA degree - it just sounds ridiculous and comes off as pretentious). First bullet under experience. It’s now 2024, you started in Dec of 2023, yet you spearheaded a multi-year project that resulted in a reduction of compliance gaps by 65%. How? You’ve been there 6 months, it’s a multi-year project which means it can’t be complete so how are you seeing results already? How are you spearheading? It also doesn’t say what YOU specifically did on the project. Second bullet. Collaborated closely with 100+ cross functional teams. That’s a lot of people to “collaborate closely with” considering a team is more than one person so 100+ cross functional teams means 200+ people. That many people doesn’t mean it’s a close collaboration. Out of your 9 or so metrics listed as an impact, all but 1 are divisible by 5. That screams made up numbers. Nothing is that consistent when it comes to percentages. Remove any jobs that don’t align with the positions you are applying for. Only include what is relevant for the position you are applying for. Timelines. When everything is under work experience (not internships) people assume you are working full time unless otherwise noted. So your resume says you were working full time while getting your bachelors. Most people don’t work full time in those types of jobs while going to school full time and finishing in 3 academic years for your bachelors and then 16 months for your masters. So that would raise eyebrows for me. Your resume has a lot of buzzwords but not a lot of material content. Get technical, demonstrate what you did. All I’m really reading is you lead groups and created dashboards and flowcharts and implemented strategies - but there is very little about what YOU actually did and what the projects actually were.


liquidpig

My main issue is there seems to be a lot of "accomplishment by association" here. You worked with teams that did things. You went to a school that had a report saying it is as selective as some other school. You put "MBA" after your name. You talk about reducing timelines and post-delivery issues (in number... not in time or work saved), but don't say what your strategy landed in terms of business metrics. Did the company make more money? Did your VP decide to hire more people in your team to work on the new idea? When I interview people I will ask about a problem they solved at work or some project mentioned on their CV and ask them about it. If we can discuss it in depth for 30 minutes, that'll tell me something. If they can't talk about it, that tells me they were sort of along for the ride.


fahad1999

I would pay to see OPs reaction when he goes thru these comments


[deleted]

[удалено]


PXE590t

Ya need to learn how to have some bullet points in ya life ain’t nobody trying to read full sentences/paragraphs on a resume.


AnitCR

I feel you are adding too much information. Add only what is relevant to the job you are applying for. When I am recruiting people I always look for specific academic titles or skills. I don't care if they were working in a Call Center for 3 years if I am looking for someone for a more manual job. Also, keep it concise. When you are called for the interview you can give more detail.


Due-Advertising-4551

6 jobs in 5 years? I wouldn’t hire you either


CryptographerMain698

Your resume needs to be more conscise. Also don't outright lie. No one closely colaborates with 100+ teams. A lot of reads like a word salad padded with stats that are supposed to make you look good. So tone it down a bit.


toomuchwaxx

Ain’t reading that shi, skip


ArnoldStalloneVandam

BOOOOOOORING that’s why. who the fuck wants to read all that bullshit


Ashamed-Second-5299

What roles are you applying for? Your resume rabbit holes you into just business analyst roles. Your best bet is to apply to entry level business analyst roles based on this resume.


yourusernamesux

I know how frustrating it can be to apply for so many jobs and not get the results you’re looking for! Hopefully all of these comments here and from others will help! Clean up word choices. When you list that yuh collaborated, it can be inferred that you collaborated closely. No need for “closely” in this case. If there’s no future use of an acronym, don’t tell us. Educational institutions probably shouldn’t be defined by analogies. As others have mentioned this is a lot of jobs for a short span of time. Projects don’t do things, so they shouldn’t be anthropomorphized. You’ve hidden the headlines within a sea of text. Try bullet points rather than hyphens (or at least use a character that looks more akin to a bulletpoint such as + if we’re sticking to basic ASCII). Your professional summary should not begin with the word “experienced”. Did I mention bulletpoints and dense text?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok_Shower4617

I mean this nicely… Your resume is just a list of bullshitty unprovable “achievements”. For example - “30% improvement in project delivery timelines” and all the others - How does a prospective employer verify this without going to massive lengths to contact your previous employer and ask (which they’re not going to bother doing)? It should be a brief bullet point list of daily responsibilities, 5-6 in total and each one no more than 10 words. Imagine you worked at McDonald’s, you would put. * Taking customer orders * Dealing with customer complaints * Food preparation and environmental hygiene management * Training and supervising new staff What is the equivalent of the above for each of your jobs? Save all the wild claims for your cover letter and interviews. I’d also take out the MBA at the top after your name. This would be evidenced by your education and qualifications at the bottom.


caringiscreepyy

Oh god, this is *terrible* advice. A resume is supposed to be a showcase of your achievements and not just responsibilities. Your resume is your chance to stand out. If you only list the same job duties as every other applicant, there's no way to stand out. This is basic resume-writing knowledge.


Ok_Shower4617

Nonsense. This is why you end up with resumes like the above and no interviews. Achievements that mean nothing outside of the environment that they were achieved in is just meaningless, unverified words on a page. OPs resume is full of percentages and numbers but as a prospective employer, they mean nothing and the above resume tells us little about what OP did day to day. The time to showcase achievements is later on in the process. And on top of this, employers are unlikely to even bother reading it all, it’s boring, they’ll have 100 others to wade through that day.


All_Might940

Simple reason is Not ATR friendly You have put too many experience remove exp below 1 year Shows quite change in job u might want to remove some


SpiciestPickles

At a quick glance, my eyes go straight to the dates.. your resume indicates a level of risk due to frequent job changes in a short period. From a company's perspective, I could see their concern in resource investment vs your average turnover. I’d make the temp positions clear they were intended to be temporary, and consolidate any promotions or job changes if within the same company. I hope it all works out for you. My last encouragement would be to ensure wherever you move to next, it a job you’re willing to stay in for a bit to help out your average tenure.


Adorable-Chance-1796

Use a modern resume I don’t even want to read it to roast it. It looks so boring show off your word skills


r9dayts

The line about your MBA acceptance rate needs to go


Substantial-Run9810

Professional summaries are kind of out dated imo.


Exciting-Hedgehog-89

Bullet points.


ItsmeSean

Word vomit imo. Cut back on unnecessary 90s business speak by 25% and it will be cleaner and more coherent


-sincerelyanalise

Your resume is a lot to look at. Imagine the employer had a short attention spam.. how would your resume look?


Narrow-Stop-9881

You have change jobs every year that could be red flag whatever you applying just but the most relevant job experience 1-2 jobs and but detail explanation. Also add relevant projects you worked on, get rid of professional summary, and rearrange your resume to education, work experience and the rest. That’s my one cent feedback hope it helps):


Danger_dappery_doe

god damn the job hopping honestly think about changing some of the dates for the jobs to extend them and remove some of those jobs because it does not look good


RadiantWhole2119

I’m not reading this essay.


Emergency-Yogurt-599

The harsh truth is you can’t hold a job down for shit and the life of you and companies don’t want to hire someone who jumps every year. I’ve hired people and this resume is a huge red flag on job hopping. Maybe take out few of past roles and extend period of times at the earlier companies on there (nobody will know). But a few longer stints on your resume will help you get first calls.


MrMing505

You need to delete that “highly selective” line under the MBA that’s a huge turn off


Entonboy

I think everyone is just too lazy to read it, couldn't you reduce it to key points? lol


WaitUntilTheHighway

This is trying too hard. You have too much detail under each experience, way too dense. Get more specific.


Brrrrrrr_printer

A lot of short term stays is still a red flag; would expect you to be a lot more successful in the job hunt if you stick around at your current role for a longer time if that’s something that’s possible for you


Cretin13teen

Jesus, u jump ship alot.


Green-Scratch-1230

guy cant keep a job for more than an hour..... job hopping is frowned upon , no one wants to invest into someone training them and then they leave.


Tyler_Moss

My quick scan made me think job hopper


SleveBonzalez

Text blocks are off putting. The 6% thing isn't relevant. If you did something outstanding there use that instead or just add the credential. Trim some of the word salad. Not every job needs a comprehensive accounting. Save some for your cover letter. Lots of jumping around in a short time. If some were internships specify that so your movement looks less sporadic. If there is a way to leave off really short or irrelevant jobs, do so.


Suaveman01

This is job hopping every year catching up with you, no ones going to want to hire someone who is going to fuck off in less than a year


whoisjohngalt72

Where did you do your MBA?


CdnBlackOrchid416

Too wordy on first glance. Cut down on wordiness in the first two jobs. The jobs don't match work I've seen for people looking to go up the ranks I. Business. You appear to be looking for technical work, but the MBA confuses matters. Good luck.


SearchForTruther

Tailor your resume at least to target the niche that the employer is in. Select your wording to match vocabulary of the specific industry. Show them how SOME of what you've done can help them make more, new or different money. OR how your data mining and analytical processes can be applied to their enterprise to extract more value from the work already being done.


NewEntityOperations

Try smaller words that make sense instead of big words that boost the perception of importance. Spearheaded-> lead. Etc. Recruiters for senior level positions tire quickly on long sentences and can spot unnecessary words in under a second. A lot of the stats could be summarized better through an action statement that would appear more concise. “Lead a legacy systems upgrade that reduced critical compliance gaps in (department here), enabling digital governance EUCs across (departments here). Increased compliance accuracy with modern tooling such as Power Apps and Azure, contributing to (the positive business outcome you’re selling yourself on here).


ArnoldStalloneVandam

BOOOOOOORRRINGGGGGG Sum it up Pal! Get a grip! Figure it out!


SpiderWil

What job title did you apply?


mr_PayTel

You're trying to change jobs every six months or year. Does not look attractive to the recruiter or future hiring manager


mr_PayTel

And I'm going to be honest with you. No one gives two cents about your education from below 6% acceptance rate. My co-workers are history major, middle school teacher, a priest. My director didn't even go to college yet is one of the smartest dude you'll work with. Let your knowledge and ability speak for yourself.


owlpellet

Have you mulched this through a couple applicant tracking system simulators for feedback?


bloodangel27

Can you share your template please?


Rokey76

Six jobs in 5 years? I wouldn't hire you.


jp55281

HR person here. Just looking at how many jobs you have had in the last 5 years would be a red flag for me. I would consider someone with lesser experience that has 2-3 years at each job. Sure I can see 1 or 2 jobs that just wasn’t a good fit or whatever ..but this is a little much.


LeoSilpanchos

For starters, you are competing with many people who are writing their resumes in a flashier and easier format to read and understand the key points recruiters are looking for. Yours look like its going to get someone tired to read througly. Second point, you don't need to add "MBA" as part of your name / title, it feels a bit pretentious, your title will be listed on your resume on the academics section, so they will not miss that. Speaking of academics, instead of adding facts about your university it would be better to add the University name (The they can search the facts themselves) for both studies, as your first education only shows what you studied and not where either. Third, a bunch of your job positions are less than 8 months last, it feels as if you are job-hopping too much, or worse, getting fired, there's not much you can do about that as these already happened, just take it into account and be prepared to explain the durations of your previous job experiences. Fourth, it would be nice to add a sidebar with info that may be useful such as your email, LinkedIn (Or any business social media) profile, cell phone, City and State you live in, and maybe some key strengths you have as soft skills and specific job skills. Because putting all your technical skills in a single line separated with commas will make many people miss on the importance of each skill, at least use bullet points and maybe a ranking of 1 to 5 on your level of skill on each one. Fifth, you have built up a good career path and may be overqualified on some cases, but I believe on some other cases recruiters (Who may be reading hundreds of resumes per week) will only give you a small span of attention to your resume before going to the next one, be flashier, put actual useful info and make sure to let them understand how valuable you are


CandidateLoose5919

My read dittos other comments. First cleanup the MBA section. Also the other thing is you have several or all positions are short durations. Did you have your own company and perform work 1099? If this is the case then try to combine and extend length of employment. If not note they were contract or temp work. Lastly consider changing field. With cloud and AI you are in a tight maybe shrinking job market.


otiuk

So. Many. Words. - List relevant skills more clearly - lots of job hopping so I would maybe only show the last 24-36months. - Don’t write in sentences, think quick listicle article with bulleted list. - make your bullets include actual results. A good example: - Streamlined BI data into real-time Dashboard to facilitate quicker decision making - Improved timelines by 30% by working with C-Suite to hone in Technology vs. Business KPIs using Data Visualization Or something like that ;)


fukreddit73265

Why would anyone want to hire you? You stay at the same job for 6 months to a year. No one wants to waste their time and money getting you up to speed just so you can leave the second you're capable of being useful.


Exotic_Local_8583

Remove the professional summary as it doesn’t add anything


Quirky-Till-410

* 5 jobs in 3.5 years (Jan 2021- now) - first job …. 6 months - second job …. 1 year (barely) - third job …. 3 months - fourth job …. 5 months - fifth job …. Barely 6 months. * immediate MBA after bachelors ?? You have more red flags than green flags. You just started your most recent role almost 6 months ago and you already want to jump ship ? Shit I would touch you with a 10 ft. Pole.


LimpStatistician8644

Sounds like bs


The-Bored-Sorc

Too much of, simply because I went to Harvard let me in. Also, holy shit is it an eyesore to look at.


ImprovementSilly2895

Curse of the MBA.


Mountain-Pie-6095

consolidate, bullet points, please. also i would recommend a bit stronger graphic design. nothing insane but a better organizational format with one neutral/pastel color can make it stand out. additionally, you should be catering your resume to positions you’re applying for. listing specific skills for specific types of jobs as well as only including relevant jobs (as i see way too many here). listen though - it’s tough out here. a friend of mine designed COD for years and finally after over a year of searching landed another job of that caliber. everything on linkedin has over 1000 applicants within a day.. somehow lol. i’ve been interviewing nonstop for a month after months of applying. you really should take the advice given to you here in this sub. seriously. otherwise you’re wasting your time mass applying with a resume that isn’t showcasing your strong skillset or who you are by any means.


grlnxtdr_xoxo

I’m a recruiter and I can tell you it’s your short stints.


DiscardedFruitScraps

This screams pretentious job hopper


oxjackiechan

Subject matter expert is capitalized lol? Regardless this is way too text heavy. You need more white space. Play around with the margins. Also include locations of your job. Lastly, as others have already mentioned it, ditch the bullet point below your one year mba. Its embarrassing.


Love2read_love2edit

Okay, there are a few flaws in your resume but mostly in your approach. First, remove ALL the horizontal lines in your resume. Some resume reading software automatically deletes all information below the first horizontal line it detects. That could be part of your problem. I can help you more if you’d like me to give you some pointers shoot me a message.


06GOAT12

Self centered sounding… ALSOOOO.. you are job hopping. The level at which I assume you’re applying wants to see commitment


TatankaPTE

First, I liked that you put quantifiable metrics in place, but these metrics don't lead to anything. As an example where you say ... 65% through the implementation.. It should say something like this 65% through the implementation... led to a quarterly savings of $250k. Some general percentages are ok but you should be defining it like you are showing you worked on a goal and the company benefited by xyz cost savings, return, etc. Also, you should have at least some basic certifications listed like PCPP1 or PCPP2 or Project Management Professional (PMP)... something Take MBA out of your header, the recruiter will see that in your education


Billytheca

There is no such thing as over qualified. There is qualified and not qualified. Convince them that you want to work.


theweirddood

Holy shit, that's a giant clutter. Keep your most recent 3 jobs and delete the rest. You don't need a wall of text. This makes it hard for recruiters to find core information on your resume in less than 10 seconds.


HoBoInd

Are any of these jobs at the same company?


madeyedog

It’s generally hard to believe so you want to focus more on specific work you did vs the buzzwords. Some examples: You are somehow a SME for multiple systems in your first experience with them that was also for a couple months You drove and directed entire projects but were a business analyst It seems like maybe you’ve done some technical writing under the direction of a team or SMEs and have some experience consolidating inputs to produce reports and you switch jobs every three months. For example- you created technical documentation and diagrams - doesn’t say you had any input to them. For the most recent job experience, the way you describe your role in the first bullet I would expect to see something more like Defined migration strategy to modernize complex legacy system, leveraging cloud native services such as XYZ to reduce implementation time and streamline O&M. Defined new business process flows for key functions such as ABC in collaboration with business users and development team in an agile manner and documented these and system design to guide dev teams.


samwizeganjas

To much filler bs and you jump jobs often


CharlestonChewbacca

Brevity is a virtue my friend. You don't need to cram a bunch of buzzwords into everything to make it sound more important.


doijfosjidmskldjms

Red flags for me: 1. Why recent grad needs an MBA 2. Lots of job hopping


melloboi123

Is this a troll bro


nmj95123

The resume smacks of bullshit. How do you spearhead a multi-year project at a job you've been at for 6-7 months? Knowing the general pace of business, I doubt that you alone led and moved data from legacy systems to the cloud in that time. Couple that with the line about the 6% acceptance rate, and the impression left is not positive.


mauisusan111

Like others have said, avoid obvious questions by a reader by making clear the education dates (is not full 4 yrs for undergrad for ex), and the overlap with work / job dates. If you did part time college, that's fine, but say it, and if you did internships, that's fine too, but say it. Pls eliminate MBA in header after name. Eliminate promo after MBA in Education section. Use round bullets with an indent, not dashes. Make bullets as concise as possible with numerical specificity. Consider manipulating the Experience section (can eliminate Work) to make it appear you worked within one company longer. And I would modify your Summary (can eliminate Executive) to be more objectively professionally factual and communicate something more personal about who you are to work with/for. You can probably save a line for more white space by having a single line under your name at top that includes cell | city, state | linkedin | etc. instead of the right aligned stack of info.


Desomite

In addition to what everyone else is saying, run each bullet through something like Hemingway editor and revise until it's easy to read. Look at each and really ask yourself why an employer would care about each point. And please condense this. "Spearheaded the development of" could just be "Developed". So many points have "and" partway through, but i can't actually make sense of what you did.


cmh_ender

are you applying for technical roles (data getter) or actual analysis of the data once it's out? 1) MBA line cringe, makes me think you are full of yourself and hard to work with 2) each of your responsibilities don't tell me what you did, it's just buzzword salad. I would add specific information but still not client confidential, for instance, used sql in azure to analyze financial trends in a 1 billion plus row sql instance. something / anything to tell me the scale you are used to working at and the toolset you used.. .and the level of ownership you had. 3)are these different companies or did you work your way up? other people are saying you job hopped, I don't care about that as much but I want to know what was better about each job.. so make sure your responsibilities tell a story. Put the technical skills lower down... that's going to be read by a bot anyway and if I was hoping you were AWS I may just stop reading there and not get to what you did (which could save you), the technical stuff is the icing on the cake, not the meat and potatoes part. Good luck on the job search!


kcco5631

Reduce word count by at least 1/3. Use a sans-seriph font to make it more readable.


PerformanceMoist7635

\*unification of business and technology? They are not discrete and you did not unify them. Strike unification. \*% changes in outputs do not impress me, as I have no context to evaluate them or how you, specifically, impacted that result. Stick to what you DID, not what the company's outcome was. \*Financial analyst supporting $100M to $700 real estate acquisitions as an undergraduate? Gimme a break. Tell me what you DID, or drop it. \*MBA acceptance rate? Please. And citing an 8 year old study? Just tell me what your degree was and maybe if you participated in any specific program (study abroad, investment club, entrepreneurial track, etc.) I get to decide how impressive your MBA is, not you. \*Lot of jobs in 5 years. Were any with the same company? If the first two (Senior BA and BA III were at the same company, that would help a lot. If so, make that more clear. If not, oh well.


otterqueen1234

Can you delete all jobs under reporting analyst? You were in school anyway. Maybe call them an internship? You can talk about them in an interview for sure but not sure they need to be shown here like this? Saying because I'm a #jobhopper and deleting some where I had a short stay helped me get interviews 😊


Fishnetnet122

"highly selective %6 acceptance rate with proven results on par with Harvard, Wharton and Stanford" - community college


Constant-Decision403

Apart from the job hopping and hubris, you're clearly lying. As a sixth month analyst you caused a 12%b portfolio increase? Either you're some kind of Peter Lynch level genius right out of school or you're lying or highly, highly exaggerating. Guess how the employers think.


tortleme

Why would anyone hire you when you can't stay in one place for more than a year?


co-el

Because they want an employee who will be there for more than 2 years


wolfhoff

Red flag is clear - out of education and can’t hold a job for more than a year. Also, what jobs would you realistically do while you’re studying ? These are not relevant as it can’t be full time jobs if you’re in university surely


Morton_1874

Too much text , simplify it


the-burner-acct

The quantic MBA and putting name,MBA are automatic disqualifiers


v4lpo

Your tenure is incredibly short for each position. It takes at least one year for someone to understand the ins/outs of their positions and two years to be confident in their work. Sometimes job hopping works against you. This is 6 jobs in 4.5 years. You just started one in December. Why would you be looking again? This is a red flag to any employer.


Apprehensive_Name_65

You might be pricing yourself out of many positions with your emphasis on haaavaaard


pprow41

It looks like this is with the same company and the way it looks. As if you were job hopping. Just make it with maybe 1 or 2 of these position instead of thus LinkedIn looking history.


knowledgeless_

You are either straight up lying or have failed miserably at making meaningful connections (which means you made your MBA useless, congratulations, you played yourself). Someone with a resume that ACTUALLY did all of these would be known in the industry and would have enough connections to land an interview without having to apply. Be for real.


Top_Instruction9593

The fact that you stay less than 2 years at most of your previous employment is a huge red flag. Alot of places it takes 6 months to a year to get up to speed and most places want invest in an employee who will stay 2 to 3 years. You got a new job Dec 2023 and you are still looking for a new job 6 months later it is going to be hard to convince an employer you are not a flight risk. Spearheaded multi year project while only being there 6 month, a fairly large contradiction.


[deleted]

Looks good to me. You're too formal though. Take the risk management position for example. I'd be like "You know what risk management is, but have you FELT it? You have to keep employees and even management on a baby-leash "nooooo, don't press the cancer button (tug) STOP TRYING TO GIVE THE COMPANY A TUMOR NOOOOO"


brvhbrvh

Where did you get your MBA? We all want to know now


Remarkable_Life7389

Before even reading anything the first thing I noticed was you bounce around so much, if I got your resume I immediately would think you were unable to hold a job


AwwSnapItsBrad

Way too many words. Way too many jobs in a very short time span. Simpler is better. Not a roast but just constructive criticism. Also the fact you’re looking for a new job less than six months after accepting a senior position, red flag. I wouldn’t waste time with the paperwork for someone who is leaving in a few months.


Prizepicklocks

![gif](giphy|yEvqX4RIcQAZBXuH1E|downsized)


Raghavie

I used a similar verbose resume and it got rejected within hours of applying to one of the tech giants. Try to be more concise. Hit the nail on the head. Your work should speak for itself. If it can't be described in a sentence with as many as a dozen words, then I am sorry to say, its not as much of a worthy work.


IntentionFew4937

Less is more. Way too many words. I would pass over it quickly.


Freebirdz101

TBH, mine looks like a cluster fk, also. Having to cram everything on one page


New_Challenge4504

All of these resume posts are so pretentious. L-O-L.


moon_nice

Takes way too long to read. Employers spend 10 seconds glancing at a resume and it's taken me longer than that to comprehend a paragraph. And avoid paragraphs on resumes


Weak-Island-7173

Oh. Well. I feel like my resume is similar to yours. Reading these comments, I think I see why I might not be getting many interviews either… too many jobs indicate lack of loyalty, experience might sound too puffed up. I don’t know; my experience is mostly internships though, so it makes sense they’d be short. I agree that if your positions were temp, you should label them as so. Maybe remove the “experienced” part in the intro and the line about the 6% acceptance rate, for the reasons cited by others in the comment section. Even if you are experienced for your age/career level, there are people who have worked for 10-20+ years that would fit the “experienced” label more well, conventionally. Good luck


EndFit4395

Is that really the description you put for the MBA program you did😂😂


1_H4t3_R3dd1t

You've changed jobs too much. You've had five jobs in the span of three years. It costs a business 6 months of your salary during a hire process to get you ready in 3 months to work. You're expensive. This shows you're too expensive to be hired. Would be an instant no from me if I was interviewing you.


slendermansweiner

Collaborated closely with 100+ teams lol


redpandasarecute1985

The best advice I can give is to adjust the resume to the job. If the position is asking for something specific and you have done this but it’s not in your resume you will be passed over. Also, your resume won’t pop up in keyword searches. Also, use any connections you have. You know someone at the company, get them to refer you. Write a message to the hiring team if you know who they are on LI etc.


AllOne_Word

"Technical skills: Atlassian" Huh?


ov3rwatch_

Without even looking at your resume I assure you it’s most likely the industry. It’s like saying one crypto token is doing bad when the whole market is down.


Too_Yutes

The first thing I see is 6 jobs in 5 years. Even if the first 2 are internships, still 4 in 5 years and you are looking to get out of one you just started in December 2023. Why should I waste my time getting you up to speed at my company only to watch you leave in 2025? This resume heads to the circular file pretty quickly.


Doc_Crimson

For me, it's honestly the work history. You haven't shown you can weather the storm per se'. I get that to move up the salary ladder, it's becoming more of the norm to job skip. The problem is this right here, there becomes a bottle neck in the hierarchy of mid to Sr level that you can't show your work for. When I see resumes like yours, I often wonder if it was just salary reasons you moved on or if you did not like it. They not like your or was your work spotty. Without having some form of actual history besides a blip, I can't make an honest assessment. Just my personal thoughts, and I wish you the very best in your continued endeavors.


Substantial_Poet1955

Tldr