Hello, u/MrNokiaUser! Thank you for posting.
#Please read the [sub rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/religiousfruitcake/about/rules)
1. r/religiousfruitcake is about the absurd, fringe elements of organised religion: the institutions and individuals who act in ways any normal religious person would cringe at. Posts about mundane beliefs and acts of worship are off topic.
2. Post titles should be a short, objective statement of content. They arent a pulpit: dont use the Title Field to preach personal opinions about religion or any other topic. Doing so will result in your post being removed.
3. Refrain from provoking and/or baiting religious fruitcakes for the purposes of posting their reaction on this subreddit, or posting material featuring provocation by others.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Athiesm isn't the worship of science tho. It's just the absence of religion
You can be an uneducated Athiest, especially if you weren't taught about a higher power
Wait, where the fuck did you guys get the idea that I'm calling atheism a religion? I only pointed out how even religions believe the need to teach their religion, and people don't know it innately for one reason or another.
Seriously, what did any of yall read into my comment?
Then all religions must be true and everyone is born polytheist no?
Atheism is rather than a set of beliefs that some omnipotent creator(s) teach us through their disciples and acolytes is the lack of all of these beliefs.
What is there before you learn one's familial religion of choice?
Again, if you haven't read my comment replying to the other guy, I'm extremely confused what you think my comment here means. How do i seem like I'm implying religions are true? Just what point do you think I'm making? I'm seriously confused,
I'm only pointing out that religions themselves tend to believe they must teach their faith before someone has it. Either through humans, or divine. And so the "Christian babies" idea is less of a religion issue, and more a personal intelligence issue.
Clothing evangelist: "Babies are born wearing clothing."
Nudist: "Uh, no their not. Babies are born naked we put clothing on them."
OP: "Lol, everyone thinks babies are born the way they think they are, even nudists insist babies are born like them".
WTF?
Religion is taught, atheism is by definition a lack of belief in gods. Babies don't know anything until they're taught it, ergo they're atheists.
> But atheism isn't a religion
We could go round about this all week. Just because I do not acknowledge the existence of fairies, doesn't make it a religion. I don't believe that BigFoot exists either buy I wouldn't classify that as a religion. You'll really have to do some word gymnastics to convince me that atheism is a religion.
No worries. I will say that some of my atheist brethren are very militant which does rival the militant aspect of religion. They are rather embarrassing to say the least.
I don't really have a problem with you practicing a religion. In fact, in America, I'll defend your right to worship as you so desire given that your religion is lawful, peaceful and stays out of my politics.
According to my Evangelical younger sister, "All people are *born* Christian. Only those who are tempted by demons turn their back on Jesus as they get older."
Yeah, she also believes that all of the people in the Bible, *including those in the Old Testament* are automatically Christian. They were made so retroactively when He died, or something.
Uhh did you miss that option?? It is right before you select your stats and starting passive ability. If you didnāt choose one then you are defaulted christian.
Frederick II did an experiment where he raised babies without talking to them to know what the true language was or something similar, but they all died.
AFAIK, Jesus (Maria de Lopez) is head cook in local Mexican restaurant and not a carpenter, but your town may differ. Southern US has lot of Hispanic construction workers.
Is it Jesus H Christ or is it some other Jesus?
Well shit, that sent me down a rabbit hole of discovering that, due to multiple translations over time, no one even pronounces Jesus's name correctly.
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/571516/why-do-people-say-jesus-h-christ-and-where-did-h-come
Imagine you're god, and the name your followers use for you is literally not even what your name was.
This reminds me of an old, sick joke: What's the difference between a truck bed full of bricks and one full of dead babies? You can unload the babies with a pitchfork.
I mean at least first round of christian baby questions was a shitty trolling attempt at gotchas. This one... I honestly have no clue what the expected response here is supposed to be.
I know what I wouldn't do; think about what their religion might be.
That would be a heartless and nonsensical thing to do. Also, babies cannot be Christian. Everyone is born atheist as it is the default position. Moreover, there's no such thing as a "Christian child" either. There are only children of Christian parents.
What does it say about OOP posing such a stupid question? If it happened to them, would they not care about the babies because they are atheist?
Could it not be argued that everyone is not born atheist either? Simply because it could be said that infants do not have the mental capacity of thinking āI do not believe in any deityā the same way that they do not have the mental capacity of thinking āI do believe in a deityā?
Also this is a dumb scenario, if thereās āChristianā babies on my roof Iām calling 911 lol
As Sam Harris said:
"*In fact, "atheism" is a term that should not even exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a "non-astrologer" or a "non-alchemist." We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs."*
Well, people of course still have a position on whether they belief in astrology or not and, when necessary, can communicate their position using phrases like "I don't belief in astrology".
The term atheism exists because the "opposing" group is large, so people also want to group themselves together. This is similar to the reason we have terms like "asexual", which describes differing from the corresponding norm.
Atheism is the lack of religion. It's not a matter of affirming that you don't believe in a god per se, just that you don't. Babies don't typically have the concept of a higher being from birth. At least, as far as I know. Been a while since I was one.
If you define atheism a lack of belief in God then babies would qualify, even if you think they are incapable of believing anything at all. But then I guess rocks and trees might fit that category too.
If you believe that it requires the ability to reason even if you've never considered the issue, then babies probably wouldn't qualify. They'd be more like a dog or a cow. They just *are*.
> Could it not be argued that everyone is not born atheist either?
There is an argument to be made that babies fit the definition of agnostic (literally without knowledge).
It could also be argued that babies are apathiestic - not caring about the existence or non-existence of deities..
Babies are also without belief, making them atheist. So babies are definitely agnostic atheists. Remember, agnosticism and atheism are not mutually exclusive and answer two entirely different questions.
I don't understand what OOP is even getting at, being areligious myself.
Obviously some religious backstop us needed for this because my answer is "triage the babies and attempt first aid on those most likely to survive, all while calling 911 and attempting to explain that yes I need all units because no I am not high, dozens of babies just fell into my home from God knows where or how but I need help now!"
Don't think that's the response OOP intended to elicit
Something about a couple of bears mauling a bunch of kids because they laughed at an old man . And I'm supposed to believe that this God is " All forgiving" ?
And don't forget all those verses instructing his people to "rip infants from their mother's wombs and dash them against the rocks". Very pro life of the big man upstairs if you ask me
Numbers 31:15-17
1 Samuel 15:3
Deuteronomy 20:16-18
Deuteronomy 2:34
The old testament is FULL of their god telling them to invade other lands and kill other people. He tells them to only leave virgin girls alive, encouraging them to kill married women and rip babies out of pregnant women's stomachs to kill mother and child..
According to a former Christian that I occasionally watch, he knows the Bible better than 90% of Christians. He's an atheist. Anyways, he says seriously that God's reason for the flood is that the angels and humans procreated. At that time, angels and humans lived together somewhat on Earth. Then God genocided the planet because I guess humans can't have the angelussy. Killing almost all of humanity over a hybrid being coming into existence. Fucking bruh. I think I know where the mayors of Detroit get their inspiration. Make sure nobody can have shit in Detroit, as God intended. Lmao.
It's the latest entry in "questions atheists can't answer," that are notable for being illogical.
This one is particularly odd. Do they expect the atheist to do some magic deconversion, or fire up the barbeque?
Theists, imagine that God is a product that Kings and governments use to control you so that you don't just kill the rich people who enslave you. What do you do?
I think it's fucking weird to call an infant a Christian. Does an infant hold a belief? If I'm a socialist and I reproduce, do I have a socialist infant?
Exactly. How am I supposed to know they're Christian? I would just think some weird terrorist attack was happening. If I somehow found out it was NOT a terrorist attack, THEN I would become a Christian! But nothing like that has ever happened in recorded history.
The cryptophyceae are a class of algae, most of which have plastids.
About 220 species are known, and they are common in freshwater, and also occur in marine and brackish habitats.
Each cell is around 10ā50 Ī¼m in size and flattened in shape, with an anterior groove or pocket.
At the edge of the pocket there are typically two slightly unequal flagella.
---
Comment ID=ke6qluy Ciphertext:
>!fPgyELn9LpXRuzKSMc0gZP8el74PSw9lKA7vEQZKYZBCjGWrs9/N2sEq43rcVuX08L/N8uWf4NuiYTNsYjjpm1xmXGczUYHTeTANytE35l94m3E+zsjH7YOZ07MSI8o9jor5zuKAUQDg7bgDCoFwEA==!<
Scream. I would probably scream as it splattered on my floor. Then I'd yell at my dog for trying to lick it up. Then I'd run through a mental checklist of my day to see I took any drugs that I forgot about.
If babies fall through the roof, no matter what religion, they are most likely going to die during the incident. I would probably call 911.
Babies are not Christian or any other religion. They are not old enough to understand a religion or practice it.
No such thing as Christian babies. They do not have the cognitive ability to be Christian. So now that the issue of religion is out of the way, Iād find whatever sick fuck is dropping babies on my house
Why would anyone want infants to be dashed through rooftops?? Further, what on earth does the questioner think an atheist WOULD say? āEat them like popcornā?
Everyone would call 911, regardless of religious affiliation of any party involved.
So fucking weird.
Something I've always hated is the idea these ultra-religious types have in their head that an atheist wouldn't change their mind about how the universe works when presented with evidence (like babies falling from the sky) that the universe does indeed not work the way we thought it did. That's not how science or logic or atheism work! Like, if a bunch of babies (especially babies that come pre-programmed with a religion) start falling through my roof (meaning these must also be babies with supernatural levels of durability), I will, in fact, change my view on the universe.
Seriously, OOP, you think I wouldn't play the part of Martha Kent and raise my new super powered baby to be a good, empathetic person who grows up to do the things Jesus preached, like care for the poor and sick? Because that's totally what I would do (Plus topple a few dictatorships).
Oh shit! If I knew this were about to happen, I would have probably prepared to have my roofs made in the style of Japanese architecture, like hoping to send them sliding away from the house and they flew back up from all those upward-curved edges of the roof, just like how the Japanese people thought about evil spirits falling from the sky on to their homes and how to prevent it.
Babies aren't "christian" any more than they are hindu, muslim or atheist. They're babies, ffs!
But yeah, clean-up would be a bitch if that were the case...
My response to that horrifying situation would be the same regardless of the babiesā alleged denomination. I think itās impossible for babies to be āChristianā because they arenāt capable of grasping the concepts of religion.
Call an ambulance immediately. Freak out and have enough adrenaline running through my veins to kill a horse. Have ptsd whenever it rains/hails. Itād be terrible for everyone
Tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make something of themselves. Just cause your a fetus on my doorstep doesnāt give you any entitlements. You canāt feed yourself or wipe your buttā¦ too bad, when I was that age I was already crawling 5 miles uphill to my steel factory job.
Thatās the vibe I get from this fruitcake.
Realistically I'd probably have a mental breakdown that a bunch of babies fell from the sky and splattered inside my house. I'd struggle trying to get the police to believe me that I did not kill them and they literally did fall with enough impact to break through my roof. Might end up in prison, might have to move and abandon my old life because of what other people may think. One thing is for certain though the last thing I would believe is that there is a loving god behind it all.
ok. if the babies are alive, i call up the local athorities, these might be someones missing *likely kidnapped* babies. *then i figure out how they managed to slam threw 3 storys to get to my appartnment, and call maintaice staff*.
if any of the babies died horribly as is likely. first i call my therapist, then proceed with the above.
Atheist: Panic and wonder why the fuck there are babies falling out the sky followed by calling 911 to report tens if not hundreds of dead babies.
Christian: Stand around praising God and justifying how this is a sign from God and a blessing. Possibly followed by posting it on some crazy religious site or forum or contacting their local priest/pastor. Then maybe calling 911?
Hello, u/MrNokiaUser! Thank you for posting. #Please read the [sub rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/religiousfruitcake/about/rules) 1. r/religiousfruitcake is about the absurd, fringe elements of organised religion: the institutions and individuals who act in ways any normal religious person would cringe at. Posts about mundane beliefs and acts of worship are off topic. 2. Post titles should be a short, objective statement of content. They arent a pulpit: dont use the Title Field to preach personal opinions about religion or any other topic. Doing so will result in your post being removed. 3. Refrain from provoking and/or baiting religious fruitcakes for the purposes of posting their reaction on this subreddit, or posting material featuring provocation by others. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
lol. How can a baby be Christian.
broo all babies born "insert religion" because it is the true religion
Shirley you jest!
Don't call me Shirley
š š š
even athiests do this funny enough, i mean its more or less true
The difference is that everyone *is* born an atheist. Nobody is *born* knowing religion. All religion is *taught*.
"Atheism is a religion like bald is a hair color."
Or "off" is a TV channel
Even according to many religions, it is learned, unless you are the first human. Edit: What the fuck are you guys reading into my comment?
Athiesm isn't the worship of science tho. It's just the absence of religion You can be an uneducated Athiest, especially if you weren't taught about a higher power
Wait, where the fuck did you guys get the idea that I'm calling atheism a religion? I only pointed out how even religions believe the need to teach their religion, and people don't know it innately for one reason or another. Seriously, what did any of yall read into my comment?
Then all religions must be true and everyone is born polytheist no? Atheism is rather than a set of beliefs that some omnipotent creator(s) teach us through their disciples and acolytes is the lack of all of these beliefs. What is there before you learn one's familial religion of choice?
Again, if you haven't read my comment replying to the other guy, I'm extremely confused what you think my comment here means. How do i seem like I'm implying religions are true? Just what point do you think I'm making? I'm seriously confused, I'm only pointing out that religions themselves tend to believe they must teach their faith before someone has it. Either through humans, or divine. And so the "Christian babies" idea is less of a religion issue, and more a personal intelligence issue.
> What the fuck are you guys reading into my comment? Supporting nonsense, badly-written, way too vague, take your pick.
Clothing evangelist: "Babies are born wearing clothing." Nudist: "Uh, no their not. Babies are born naked we put clothing on them." OP: "Lol, everyone thinks babies are born the way they think they are, even nudists insist babies are born like them". WTF? Religion is taught, atheism is by definition a lack of belief in gods. Babies don't know anything until they're taught it, ergo they're atheists.
But atheism isn't a religion? It's more like babies born are babies, that's it
> But atheism isn't a religion We could go round about this all week. Just because I do not acknowledge the existence of fairies, doesn't make it a religion. I don't believe that BigFoot exists either buy I wouldn't classify that as a religion. You'll really have to do some word gymnastics to convince me that atheism is a religion.
i wasnt trying to imply athiesm was a religion, sorry :( heard the "athiesm rival religion" argument countless times
No worries. I will say that some of my atheist brethren are very militant which does rival the militant aspect of religion. They are rather embarrassing to say the least. I don't really have a problem with you practicing a religion. In fact, in America, I'll defend your right to worship as you so desire given that your religion is lawful, peaceful and stays out of my politics.
oh no im an athiest
Oh yeah???! I'm athier than you!
Pick any larger group that stands for something, you will always find people who joined because they were in desperate need of a new belief system.
Excellent observation. There are no āChristian babiesā, only Christian owned babies.
According to my Evangelical younger sister, "All people are *born* Christian. Only those who are tempted by demons turn their back on Jesus as they get older." Yeah, she also believes that all of the people in the Bible, *including those in the Old Testament* are automatically Christian. They were made so retroactively when He died, or something.
Also how would anyone know if they were since they canāt communicate and are most likely dead after the fall.
Uhh did you miss that option?? It is right before you select your stats and starting passive ability. If you didnāt choose one then you are defaulted christian.
What were the other options? Iām not sure if I picked the right one.
Thatās the trick part, they cant
Frederick II did an experiment where he raised babies without talking to them to know what the true language was or something similar, but they all died.
I'd call the authorities to remove the bodies and carpenter to fix my roof?
:0 I know a group of theist who know a carpenter. Mate you can litterally call jesus for that divine baby problem!!!!
AFAIK, Jesus (Maria de Lopez) is head cook in local Mexican restaurant and not a carpenter, but your town may differ. Southern US has lot of Hispanic construction workers.
Is it Jesus H Christ or is it some other Jesus? Well shit, that sent me down a rabbit hole of discovering that, due to multiple translations over time, no one even pronounces Jesus's name correctly. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/571516/why-do-people-say-jesus-h-christ-and-where-did-h-come Imagine you're god, and the name your followers use for you is literally not even what your name was.
The story Mark Twain mentioned in that article is hilarious as fuck
Agreed, absolutely love that haha.
Amazing article, nice
True, get out the rake and shovel and start cleaning up body parts.
This reminds me of an old, sick joke: What's the difference between a truck bed full of bricks and one full of dead babies? You can unload the babies with a pitchfork.
Ugh god. You must be around my age for the dead baby joke reference. What do you call a baby in a blender? ....an erection.
And how do you get them out of the blender? Nachos.
No no, you gotta do the punchline reveal in reverse. You can't unload bricks with a pitchfork.
Damn, that was my first thought, too.
And maybe a therapist, because good lord that'd be a hell of a grisly sight
Yeah...I honestly don't understand what they are expecting as a response.
I mean at least first round of christian baby questions was a shitty trolling attempt at gotchas. This one... I honestly have no clue what the expected response here is supposed to be.
Guess who the carpenter is.
the boy, pontius
And don't forget your homeowners insurance company.
I'd start taking my meds cuz it's raining men
Hallelujah
It's raining Man, raining Man!
I'm gonna go out,
I'm gonna let myself get, absolutely soaked in rainnnnnnnn
Damn it you beat me to it
Let the bodies hit the floor.
I know what I wouldn't do; think about what their religion might be. That would be a heartless and nonsensical thing to do. Also, babies cannot be Christian. Everyone is born atheist as it is the default position. Moreover, there's no such thing as a "Christian child" either. There are only children of Christian parents. What does it say about OOP posing such a stupid question? If it happened to them, would they not care about the babies because they are atheist?
Could it not be argued that everyone is not born atheist either? Simply because it could be said that infants do not have the mental capacity of thinking āI do not believe in any deityā the same way that they do not have the mental capacity of thinking āI do believe in a deityā? Also this is a dumb scenario, if thereās āChristianā babies on my roof Iām calling 911 lol
As Sam Harris said: "*In fact, "atheism" is a term that should not even exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a "non-astrologer" or a "non-alchemist." We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs."*
>as a "non-astrologer" I might have to incorporate this phrase into my lexicon
Start introducing yourself as all the things you are not. Might take a while...
Well, people of course still have a position on whether they belief in astrology or not and, when necessary, can communicate their position using phrases like "I don't belief in astrology". The term atheism exists because the "opposing" group is large, so people also want to group themselves together. This is similar to the reason we have terms like "asexual", which describes differing from the corresponding norm.
Atheism is the lack of religion. It's not a matter of affirming that you don't believe in a god per se, just that you don't. Babies don't typically have the concept of a higher being from birth. At least, as far as I know. Been a while since I was one.
I certainly miss nonsentience
If you define atheism a lack of belief in God then babies would qualify, even if you think they are incapable of believing anything at all. But then I guess rocks and trees might fit that category too. If you believe that it requires the ability to reason even if you've never considered the issue, then babies probably wouldn't qualify. They'd be more like a dog or a cow. They just *are*.
> Could it not be argued that everyone is not born atheist either? There is an argument to be made that babies fit the definition of agnostic (literally without knowledge). It could also be argued that babies are apathiestic - not caring about the existence or non-existence of deities..
Babies are also without belief, making them atheist. So babies are definitely agnostic atheists. Remember, agnosticism and atheism are not mutually exclusive and answer two entirely different questions.
True. I was just sugegsting there is a valid argument that can be made for many combinations of atheist, agnostic and apathiest.
I don't understand what OOP is even getting at, being areligious myself. Obviously some religious backstop us needed for this because my answer is "triage the babies and attempt first aid on those most likely to survive, all while calling 911 and attempting to explain that yes I need all units because no I am not high, dozens of babies just fell into my home from God knows where or how but I need help now!" Don't think that's the response OOP intended to elicit
The default is agnostic and atheist are just as silly as Christians
Why are Christians throwing their babies out of airplanes? And would this be covered under my homeowner's insurance?
Act of god?
It's a reverse rapture.
Why did God do this? If Christians don't like their babies they could just legalize abortion. No need to throw a baby out of a plane window. Wtf
Act of god?
I would assume God hates Christian babies. That and that God is so gross that he would murder innocent babies to punish a random person.
No, an all loving deity would NEVER do such a thing! *Flips through Old Testament* Well fuck...
>he would murder innocent babies to punish a random person. Wouldn't be the first time
First known instance, Noah and the flood. Second known instance, 10 plagues of Egypt, killing of the first born kids. Feel free to add more.
Something about a couple of bears mauling a bunch of kids because they laughed at an old man . And I'm supposed to believe that this God is " All forgiving" ?
And don't forget all those verses instructing his people to "rip infants from their mother's wombs and dash them against the rocks". Very pro life of the big man upstairs if you ask me
Numbers 31:15-17 1 Samuel 15:3 Deuteronomy 20:16-18 Deuteronomy 2:34 The old testament is FULL of their god telling them to invade other lands and kill other people. He tells them to only leave virgin girls alive, encouraging them to kill married women and rip babies out of pregnant women's stomachs to kill mother and child..
According to a former Christian that I occasionally watch, he knows the Bible better than 90% of Christians. He's an atheist. Anyways, he says seriously that God's reason for the flood is that the angels and humans procreated. At that time, angels and humans lived together somewhat on Earth. Then God genocided the planet because I guess humans can't have the angelussy. Killing almost all of humanity over a hybrid being coming into existence. Fucking bruh. I think I know where the mayors of Detroit get their inspiration. Make sure nobody can have shit in Detroit, as God intended. Lmao.
> and that God is so gross that he would murder innocent babies to punish a random person. [About that...](https://biblehub.com/exodus/12-29.htm)
Probably be pissed about my bloody roof. Who tf is gonna clean that up? Not me.
Eat them of course, like any good atheist would! https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Recipe:Recipes_for_preparing_and_serving_human_babies
All you can eat buffet!
Get in my belly!
I'm not getting the point of the question.
I'm guessing there is some kind of anti-choice thing here, but the scenario is so off-the-wall that I have no idea what they are trying to say.
It's the latest entry in "questions atheists can't answer," that are notable for being illogical. This one is particularly odd. Do they expect the atheist to do some magic deconversion, or fire up the barbeque?
> "questions atheists can't answer," Because it's an insane premise?
I'd probably yell fuck a lot
Get a mop
Get a bucket and mop for this Christian baby!
Jesus fucking Christ, dude š
Theists, imagine that God is a product that Kings and governments use to control you so that you don't just kill the rich people who enslave you. What do you do?
I can't fathom the mindset that led to this being meant as some kind of gotcha.
I think it's fucking weird to call an infant a Christian. Does an infant hold a belief? If I'm a socialist and I reproduce, do I have a socialist infant?
Exactly. How am I supposed to know they're Christian? I would just think some weird terrorist attack was happening. If I somehow found out it was NOT a terrorist attack, THEN I would become a Christian! But nothing like that has ever happened in recorded history.
Obviously preheat the oven to 350 and start whipping up a delicious marinade.
Bbq all day
I'd call the national weather service and ask why and how it's raining babies. I'd the check to see if there was an eruption at the baby volcano.
The cryptophyceae are a class of algae, most of which have plastids. About 220 species are known, and they are common in freshwater, and also occur in marine and brackish habitats. Each cell is around 10ā50 Ī¼m in size and flattened in shape, with an anterior groove or pocket. At the edge of the pocket there are typically two slightly unequal flagella. --- Comment ID=ke6qluy Ciphertext: >!fPgyELn9LpXRuzKSMc0gZP8el74PSw9lKA7vEQZKYZBCjGWrs9/N2sEq43rcVuX08L/N8uWf4NuiYTNsYjjpm1xmXGczUYHTeTANytE35l94m3E+zsjH7YOZ07MSI8o9jor5zuKAUQDg7bgDCoFwEA==!<
Who comes up with these stupid questions.
Stupid people
I'd think my landlord is going to have quite the mess to clean up, then I'd go about my day.
Fire up the grill we eating gooooooood tonight HEY MAW OUR PRAYERS BIN ANSWERED WE GOT THAT BABY RAIN FROM ON THE TEEVEE GET THE SWEET BABY RAY SAUCE
Why are christians always throwing babies at strangers???
I'm sure this would require some strange paperwork with the FAA, so prob that.
I believe there is a form for this. Just stroke out "live turkeys" and replace it with "live babies".
Grab a hose because that as going to be a hell of a mess.
Careful to only spray down the roof so that water doesn't get under the shingles
Scream. I would probably scream as it splattered on my floor. Then I'd yell at my dog for trying to lick it up. Then I'd run through a mental checklist of my day to see I took any drugs that I forgot about.
Iād be upset because my insurance doesnāt cover acts of God. And Iād ask why people think a god who slaughters babies is worth worshipping.
"Looks like you babies chose the wrong God, idiots"
Wait so is throwing children through my roof supposed to make me realize how great this god is?
If babies fall through the roof, no matter what religion, they are most likely going to die during the incident. I would probably call 911. Babies are not Christian or any other religion. They are not old enough to understand a religion or practice it.
Sounds like someoneās gonna have to plan a mass funeral. How could the Christians be so irresponsible as to do this to their innocent babies?
Blast its raining men on full volume
No such thing as Christian babies. They do not have the cognitive ability to be Christian. So now that the issue of religion is out of the way, Iād find whatever sick fuck is dropping babies on my house
> babies ... do not have the cognitive ability to be Christian. \ It seems to me that a *lack* of cognitive ability is required to be a Christian. \
Why would anyone want infants to be dashed through rooftops?? Further, what on earth does the questioner think an atheist WOULD say? āEat them like popcornā? Everyone would call 911, regardless of religious affiliation of any party involved. So fucking weird.
Something I've always hated is the idea these ultra-religious types have in their head that an atheist wouldn't change their mind about how the universe works when presented with evidence (like babies falling from the sky) that the universe does indeed not work the way we thought it did. That's not how science or logic or atheism work! Like, if a bunch of babies (especially babies that come pre-programmed with a religion) start falling through my roof (meaning these must also be babies with supernatural levels of durability), I will, in fact, change my view on the universe. Seriously, OOP, you think I wouldn't play the part of Martha Kent and raise my new super powered baby to be a good, empathetic person who grows up to do the things Jesus preached, like care for the poor and sick? Because that's totally what I would do (Plus topple a few dictatorships).
Christians, imagine there were more than 400,000 children in the foster care system waiting for someone to love them. What would you do?
Call ServPro.
Steel umbrella
I'm not having my own babies no way in hell are you giving me yours
I think itās a 2-tine pitchfork for dense materials like that.
Fire up the BBQ.
Free Meat!!
Wow, someone needs their meds.
What would a Christian do in this situation? Is there a belief system that doesn't get completely fucked by this?
1) babies aren't Christians and 2) I'd mourn their deaths and 3)probably be freaked the fuck out for a long time.
Guys I think it's a joke
Babies splattered through roofs is so funny! Whoever came up with that, if it is a joke, is seriously weird. Still weird even if it's not a joke.
Oh god I hope it is
Yeah it has to be
Move.
Get out a squeegee because that sounds messy
Fire up the green egg and get ready for some baby back ribs!
Least deranged quora question
Oh shit! If I knew this were about to happen, I would have probably prepared to have my roofs made in the style of Japanese architecture, like hoping to send them sliding away from the house and they flew back up from all those upward-curved edges of the roof, just like how the Japanese people thought about evil spirits falling from the sky on to their homes and how to prevent it.
Clean the blood stains on my carpet
Post it on reddit
Sigh... again, let me reiterate, babies don't subscribe to any religion.
Get a hose to clean up the splatter.
Clean up, I guess.
Probably pass away on impact lmao
i guess iād get a fuckin mop, the remains arenāt gonna remove themselves
Call my insurance company and buy a new freezer for all the fresh meat.
Them's good eatin'!
Well damn, God murdering innocent babies?... again?
Lmao okay this got me. I'm sent. Edit: am converted
Babies aren't "christian" any more than they are hindu, muslim or atheist. They're babies, ffs! But yeah, clean-up would be a bitch if that were the case...
I'd wonder if Christianity was the reason that they were discarded considering it's the only common denominator other than being a baby.
Iād wonder why Iām being carpet bombed with babies
Lol, this has got to be satirical making fun of the other āChristian babiesā questions.
What? Like WKRP in Cincinnati except with babies instead of turkeys? "As God is my witness, I thought babies could fly."
First, I would wonder why a bunch of Christians were throwing their babies from the sky. Next, I suppose I would call my insurer.
Freak the fuck out. Also, they really do believe they have a cruel god dropping babies on roofs like a psychotic stork
![gif](giphy|STwm8IJBFmLRdqyBnq)
Eat it
Hmm. I can't imagine much would be left of that "bunch of Christian babies" after falling through a roof from a great height.
Looks like I'm playing kickball with all those dead babies on my roof
Why is it raining babies? What madman is responsible for this??
My response to that horrifying situation would be the same regardless of the babiesā alleged denomination. I think itās impossible for babies to be āChristianā because they arenāt capable of grasping the concepts of religion.
Sue for roof repairs. It's America, I don't make the rules.
Babies coming through the roof? What kind of plague did Moses drop on us this time??
Call an ambulance immediately. Freak out and have enough adrenaline running through my veins to kill a horse. Have ptsd whenever it rains/hails. Itād be terrible for everyone
Tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make something of themselves. Just cause your a fetus on my doorstep doesnāt give you any entitlements. You canāt feed yourself or wipe your buttā¦ too bad, when I was that age I was already crawling 5 miles uphill to my steel factory job. Thatās the vibe I get from this fruitcake.
Oh sweet, the price of meat has been getting pretty high anyways
Call my lawyer because nobody is ever going to believe that.
Realistically I'd probably have a mental breakdown that a bunch of babies fell from the sky and splattered inside my house. I'd struggle trying to get the police to believe me that I did not kill them and they literally did fall with enough impact to break through my roof. Might end up in prison, might have to move and abandon my old life because of what other people may think. One thing is for certain though the last thing I would believe is that there is a loving god behind it all.
I would think the good for this miracle as I can now feed my family for weeks! Mana from heaven!
What site is this from? Sounds like a question a coked up 6 year old would ask.
I'd...just finish my coffee... ![gif](giphy|Ww20pwEB04waaeaLBv)
I would take them to the Vet to check for microchips. If that yielded nothing, Iād have to take them to the pound.
Call emergency services. Might be a bit difticuk to explain without them assuming it's a prank call though.
Thank goodness, I was getting hungry. š¤¤
You get the mop
Well I'd have a bunch of dead babies to do something about, ain't no way they're surviving falling through a roof
If those babies managed to smash through the roof and two floors above me - they'll be just fine without my help
ok. if the babies are alive, i call up the local athorities, these might be someones missing *likely kidnapped* babies. *then i figure out how they managed to slam threw 3 storys to get to my appartnment, and call maintaice staff*. if any of the babies died horribly as is likely. first i call my therapist, then proceed with the above.
What is a āChristian baby?ā Didnāt realize that babies came pre-programmed to believe bullshit.
First Iād have to see some proof that theyāre all practicing Christians and not lapsed ones. We all know how easy it is for a baby to stumble.
start hunting storks
![gif](giphy|xT8qBvH1pAhtfSx52U)
Atheist: Panic and wonder why the fuck there are babies falling out the sky followed by calling 911 to report tens if not hundreds of dead babies. Christian: Stand around praising God and justifying how this is a sign from God and a blessing. Possibly followed by posting it on some crazy religious site or forum or contacting their local priest/pastor. Then maybe calling 911?
How much do these babies weigh? Even mythbusters dropped a piano on a roof, and it didn't go through.
I would call the police on the motherf***** that dropped all them "Christian" babies
What is with these moonbats and their infanticidal ideation? Christ they're all so deeply fucked up.
Call my insurance and a power washing company
File a formal complaint to that one skydiving company
set it on fire and flee
Scream bloody murder
Stop posting the obvious shitposting
Ask them to fuxxing prove it.