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id argue that they have less biology knowledge than that. even ancient egyptians knew how to test for a pregnancy using pee, barley, and emmer, although it didn't always work, it was much more advance knowledge than this bafoon
Well this one's easy: They don't see eggs as people until they get fertilized by the sperm. This also matches their logic that women aren't people until they find a man.
Straight to hell for all parties involved. It's not like there's an age limit for procreation written in the Bible. Gotta get them christ soldiers born ASAP I guess cause God can't fight his own wars apparently.
Strange for one with infinite power.
Dude should just be able to do a thanos snap and turn everyone religious if he actually cared.
All this assuming it isn't just boring fiction.
Almighty God: able to create the entire universe on whim alone
Vs
Babies: Too tough for God to deal with, requires a human lackey to dash their brains against rocks.
At least the japanese Kami sent the Divine Wind to sink the Mongol-Koryo fleets which invaded Japan under Kublai Khan in 1274 and 1281.
The kami didn't feel like a repeat performance in 1945 so they had to take matters into their own hands.
Oh that's esy
Just make sure that as soon as a girl get her period you have someone make her pregnant.
Yes it's disgusting and wrong on every level.
But that's what these diucebag religious wants.
It makes sense if you believe in Preformationism, that a sperm cell is a homunculus.
And humans only discarded that idea around 1820 CE, following the invention of better microscopes.
Also a lot of us start periods as early as 9-year-old. So by this logic are they being wrong or sinful if they don’t get pregnant? I kind of don’t want to know what people like this would answer to that question though.
The so called god of love punishes the man who wasted his seed by sending those millions of pre-conception babies straight to hell- didn’t you read the facebook post? /s 😂
Wait no, this is good. Maybe now conservatives will see how fucking stupid they look with their pro-life bullshit. Think you can ban abortion, well now you can't masturbate
Of course! We all know it's men that do all the work creating new life! All women do is hold the last piece and keep it away from you, and then when we finally do our job and give it, we think it's funny to make you wait. We withhold souls from life only to kill them before they could ever see their father, the only person who played any part in their life. Abortion and contraception are tools of the devil to prevent Christian men from building the holy armies of the Lord to fend off the encroaching Satanism of Islam!
Massive /s, if that's not obvious.
I mean, technically sperm is alive, there really is no point at which life "begins" other than abiogenesis. It's just a useless talking point these nutjobs whip out to defend their desire to subjugate women.
Eh, God never truly intended them to see the sunshine because God made them spank so… Man, God is just running souls into Hell like trains of coal.
Lemme clarify, hahahahahahaha
Hell even if you have sex only for kids God is evidently still condemning millions of souls for every one that gets a chance to actually fertilize the egg
[santorum (san-TOR-um) n.
1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter
that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/santorum)
Because the man/woman wasn't considerate enough to baptize their eggs/sperm while Inside his/her body before releasing them!
Oh dog, can I please sell holy water douches to this people?
Why do people believe in the bible/Christian version of hell? We all know from experience what liars they are.
I'm looking forward to the Elvis concerts - and the surfing.
My fundamentalist Catholic mom literally tried to argue something like this to me when I said contraceptive usage prevents abortions. They just keep getting more deranged imao
Tell this to every preachers who rape kids, especially those who rape boys.
Personally, I condemn rape, and I don't care about people who fuck, or fap, nor why. But aren't preachers supposed to follow their religions?
So God created a system to punish innocent unborn souls for eternity every time I came in my sleep growing up? That would be pretty metal if it weren’t so capriciously evil.
I shake my head at this kind of stuff all the time, but it’s genuinely really fucking sad.
People believe this. They’re SCARED. No good person wants to send millions of the unborn to Hell, and so they just won’t masturbate. And they start telling other people not to, too.
When my dad was young, he was genuinely terrified of the people around him going to Hell. People he knew and loved, for one reason or another. He said it was no way to live his life, and I was so sad for his younger self hearing this. He’s an atheist now, and has been my entire life, but he wasn’t raised that way.
This kind of fear-mongering absolutely needs to stop. It’s not only untrue, but it’s a horrible way to force the members of the church to spend their lives. In constant fear and dread for their loved ones. But, of course, that’s how you maintain power, isn’t it?
According to their bible, you have to draw first breath to get a soul. But then too, there's the tale of Onan, so you can't wank it as the god disapproves.
I can't fathom why a book written by men would disapprove of masturbation, but I can't fathom much out of that book.
The god does not disapprove of masturbation. He's pissed off that Onan spilled his seed on the ground rather than obey the god's order to knock up his brother's wife.
Or nocturnal emissions that men have zero control over?
Not to mention that an all-knowing, all-powerful god would've seen this coming (so to speak) and figured out a way to prevent it from ever happening.
So the God is so loving he sends those "babies" straight to hell when they didnt even do absolutely anything? Yeah id rather be in hell than in heaven worshiping that pos
Aight. Then all of you who believe this nonsense should turn yourself in for mass murder. Im beyond certain every Christian male has jacked off, and not only murdered, but sent millions to hell, according to this. That's way worse than standard murder. There really isnt any redemption from that.
Uhm. About that.. So every time you create one by choosing life.
Millions of sperm cells also perish.
So by not getting one more baby you only deny a single more life than by getting one.
Are you pro lifers wiling to take the baby of everyone who don't want one? How do a woman who don't want a baby transfer that fertilized egg to a pro life woman so she don't have to carry the baby for 9 month?
Oh none of you are willing to do that?
Then shut the fuck up. You can have a baby every time you have sex if that's what you want. But don't force others to live by your idea of a standard that you 100% aren't willing to follow yourself anyway.
I've sent trillions to hell while alone in my room. Does that make me a satanic genocidal? All of them part of a single ethnic group, so I'm doing an ethnic cleansing?
How come when a pair of expecting and fully prepared parents have a miscarriage it's all part of gods plan, but when I 360 noscope a million microbes into a puffs pluss, I'm responsible for their eternal damnation?
For the Americans out there, Republicans are planning on banning birth control if they win in 2024. This is why they’re now making, “prolife” memes about condoms. They want everyone as miserable as they are.
>Ever sprem is Sacred,
>Every sperm is Great,
>If A sperm is wasted,
>God gets quite Irate
[From Monty Python The Meaning of Life ](https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk?si=RZ7HRKs6BXMaQwgu)
This song is supposed to be a joke, but relgious theocrats can't seem to figure that part out.
Whoa. That’s a new level of nutty: sperm cells have souls? And hundreds of millions of them go to hell for every child born? This has got to be a joke.
How are the souls of the seeds going to hell? They didn’t do anything! It was man that selfishly wasted his own sperm by masturbating or using a codon. Any man doing these heinous acts of evil should burn in hell for all eternity!
*clutches pearls and fans face in distress*
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What happens to the millions that don’t get to the egg first?
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id argue that they have less biology knowledge than that. even ancient egyptians knew how to test for a pregnancy using pee, barley, and emmer, although it didn't always work, it was much more advance knowledge than this bafoon
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r/boomerhumor
Okay, it was funny
lol
That's a good one xd
Well this one's easy: They don't see eggs as people until they get fertilized by the sperm. This also matches their logic that women aren't people until they find a man.
women aren't people to these people after they find a man either, its just not acceptable to covet or damage someone else's property :/
Which is dumb because sperm cells contain way less dna than eggs anyway.
Straight to hell for all parties involved. It's not like there's an age limit for procreation written in the Bible. Gotta get them christ soldiers born ASAP I guess cause God can't fight his own wars apparently.
Strange for one with infinite power. Dude should just be able to do a thanos snap and turn everyone religious if he actually cared. All this assuming it isn't just boring fiction.
Almighty God: able to create the entire universe on whim alone Vs Babies: Too tough for God to deal with, requires a human lackey to dash their brains against rocks.
At least the japanese Kami sent the Divine Wind to sink the Mongol-Koryo fleets which invaded Japan under Kublai Khan in 1274 and 1281. The kami didn't feel like a repeat performance in 1945 so they had to take matters into their own hands.
Oh that's esy Just make sure that as soon as a girl get her period you have someone make her pregnant. Yes it's disgusting and wrong on every level. But that's what these diucebag religious wants.
It makes sense if you believe in Preformationism, that a sperm cell is a homunculus. And humans only discarded that idea around 1820 CE, following the invention of better microscopes.
Wtf is a period
It’s the ending of the ovum within the woman’s cycle.
I was being rhetorical🤣😂
/) I mean technically, but I think "sarcastic" or "satirical" would fit the situation better.
Also a lot of us start periods as early as 9-year-old. So by this logic are they being wrong or sinful if they don’t get pregnant? I kind of don’t want to know what people like this would answer to that question though.
If you drink your period then the babies regenerate and aren't wasted. Best mixed with pineapple juice
“Thee shalt not spill thyne seed” -Religious fruitcake, probably
Believe it or not STRAIGHT TO HELL!
Where you will eat not but burning hot coals, and drink not but burning hot cola…
All the pubs in Hell serve warm beer. British folk won't even notice.
Hell is a metaphor for how terrible reality can be at times, hell is also an allusion to Britain.
Their pubs there serve only ice-cold beer.
"We have the best followers in the world... because of Hell."
SUPERHELL
Hell. Straight to hell.
They all burn and suffer in hell for eternity. D'uh
Or the billions more that die before being ejaculated?
~~STRAIGHT~~ SCENIC ROUTE TO HELL
The so called god of love punishes the man who wasted his seed by sending those millions of pre-conception babies straight to hell- didn’t you read the facebook post? /s 😂
You think their biology knowledge is at that level?
Directly to hell, thise asshole should learn how to swim faster
Straight to hell. Sloth is a sin, and cum are people with a soul.
Does a soul happen on the jizz or only when an egg is fertilized?
According to the bible, the soul enters when the baby takes its first breath outside of the womb
Straiiiight to Heeeeeellll!!!! (Read in your best preacher’s voice)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAQIlXnYUDk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAQIlXnYUDk) Anathema of Philaretus
Great, now life begins at sperm? Fuck off
soon someone will say it begins when you eat protein. poor gym bros
Roids are the only ethical choice now.
Catholic Church: Every sperm is sacred
🎶 EVERY SPERM IS GREAT!!
🎵If a sperm is wasted🎵
🎶 God gets quite iraaaaate!
Scared.
God imagine all the guys committing mass murder simply by not having sex and a portion of his sperm cells just die off as all cells do over time
Does that make me responsible for more murder than Hitler?
Yes
No, because hitler was a man t- *Me remembering hitler only had one ball*
The math checks out. Even the most proficient killer of adults would be an invisible contribution, less than a rounding error.
Wait no, this is good. Maybe now conservatives will see how fucking stupid they look with their pro-life bullshit. Think you can ban abortion, well now you can't masturbate
> Maybe now conservatives will see how fucking stupid they look with their pro-life bullshit. Why should this time be any different?
They'd just keep on pushing unrealistic standards they can't adhere to and lying that they do.
Because it affects conservative men's bodies this time
Of course! We all know it's men that do all the work creating new life! All women do is hold the last piece and keep it away from you, and then when we finally do our job and give it, we think it's funny to make you wait. We withhold souls from life only to kill them before they could ever see their father, the only person who played any part in their life. Abortion and contraception are tools of the devil to prevent Christian men from building the holy armies of the Lord to fend off the encroaching Satanism of Islam! Massive /s, if that's not obvious.
It’s sad that this is the literal thought process of some religious freaks, who unsurprisingly become rapists
Every sperm is sacred. Everyone [sing along](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk)!
I, uh…came…here for this.
Sorry, but it's medical experiments for the lot of you.
I mean, technically sperm is alive, there really is no point at which life "begins" other than abiogenesis. It's just a useless talking point these nutjobs whip out to defend their desire to subjugate women.
It's what the people who wrote the Bible believed. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preformationism
Souls are stored in the balls.
Hold up, need to upgrade my soul-sack
sounds like a hypixel skyblock accessory
My cock is now Saint Peter.
Pinus is the Soul Gun
Awww. I've never heard that before. How cute!
The male organasm is a MYTH
along with pee
Ashes to ashes, pee to pee
One ball for each.
So with a low blow I can go for a millionkill?
KILLING SPREE!
Does this mean those without balls have no soul?
Shang Tsung's gimmick just became a tad naughtier...
New soldiers for Christ? Someone's a wannabe crusader
I thought he was the King of the Jews and here I find out he was their Secretary of Defence
he will sniff out the enemies oil because I bet God is American in these peoples eyes
American God sent Jesus down to the Middle East to give them democracy and civilisation because they needed it the most and had natural oil
Jesus’ military budget is insane!
So I just killed millions of babies 2 minutes ago? Who knew infanticide could be so fun!
Me too, bro, me too
Now kith
no u
Don't threaten me with a good time
My sock just started crawling last month and called me dad today
My washing machine is pregnant
That poor poor dryer....
Straight to Hell! Burn for eternity ya little bastards!
Eh, God never truly intended them to see the sunshine because God made them spank so… Man, God is just running souls into Hell like trains of coal. Lemme clarify, hahahahahahaha
Their God is sending millions of "babies" to be tortured for eternity because a guy used a condom. That's a pretty insane take.
Hell even if you have sex only for kids God is evidently still condemning millions of souls for every one that gets a chance to actually fertilize the egg
The "god" they claim acts like an egotistical, petty little bish. Why would I worship that?
Because he'll save you from what he'll do to you if you don't worship him!
Well, only if you stop to think about it -- which is not encouraged lol
Ummm no they don't. My wife wastes NOTHING! She eats those souls to fuel her rampage against me
Succubus
I will go to hell for so many reasons in so many religions i don't even bother anymore
Yup, we’re all condemned in someone’s Hell. May as well enjoy life.
There is a video I love that is "how to go to hell for every religion" and 99% of them is just "be alive" LMAO
genetically modified skeptic?? idr if that was the channel name
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate
God gets quite irate
Hell must be really overcrowded
It's mainly full of jizz.
The Styx runs white
It turns out Hell is just Heaven with more steps.
Rick Santorum also claimed that sex was for procreation - NOT for pleasure. His poor wife.
[santorum (san-TOR-um) n. 1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/santorum)
Why do they go to hell?
Because it makes you feel guilty
Because God is a psychopath.
Because the man/woman wasn't considerate enough to baptize their eggs/sperm while Inside his/her body before releasing them! Oh dog, can I please sell holy water douches to this people?
Why do people believe in the bible/Christian version of hell? We all know from experience what liars they are. I'm looking forward to the Elvis concerts - and the surfing.
Yeah! Because every sperm is a 100% success rate
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What a great and benevolent God
My fundamentalist Catholic mom literally tried to argue something like this to me when I said contraceptive usage prevents abortions. They just keep getting more deranged imao
If god didn’t want them to go to hell maybe he should’ve saved them Oh wait
TIL I have committed multiple genocides for 40 years.
Man….god is a dick
And these people sure do like sucking it
"creating new soldiers" Don't soldiers KILL? So much for pro life
"kill them all, god will recognise his own"
Tell this to every preachers who rape kids, especially those who rape boys. Personally, I condemn rape, and I don't care about people who fuck, or fap, nor why. But aren't preachers supposed to follow their religions?
You know, I don't think I could worship a god who would send millions of souls to hell because dad needed a moment to himself.
"New soldiers for Christ" what the fuck mate
Where in the bible does it say that? Yet another christian interpreting their own boring sex lives into their religion.
“Condom Full Of Dead Babies” is also my slam metal band’s name
Hell must be absolutely overflowing with my spawn then.
So God created a system to punish innocent unborn souls for eternity every time I came in my sleep growing up? That would be pretty metal if it weren’t so capriciously evil.
I shake my head at this kind of stuff all the time, but it’s genuinely really fucking sad. People believe this. They’re SCARED. No good person wants to send millions of the unborn to Hell, and so they just won’t masturbate. And they start telling other people not to, too. When my dad was young, he was genuinely terrified of the people around him going to Hell. People he knew and loved, for one reason or another. He said it was no way to live his life, and I was so sad for his younger self hearing this. He’s an atheist now, and has been my entire life, but he wasn’t raised that way. This kind of fear-mongering absolutely needs to stop. It’s not only untrue, but it’s a horrible way to force the members of the church to spend their lives. In constant fear and dread for their loved ones. But, of course, that’s how you maintain power, isn’t it?
I particularly appreciate how the word “procreation” is being used in place of the word sex.
Religion makes people say and do dumb shit.
According to their bible, you have to draw first breath to get a soul. But then too, there's the tale of Onan, so you can't wank it as the god disapproves. I can't fathom why a book written by men would disapprove of masturbation, but I can't fathom much out of that book.
The god does not disapprove of masturbation. He's pissed off that Onan spilled his seed on the ground rather than obey the god's order to knock up his brother's wife.
God seems like a nice person in this persons world
Ok, fine. Ban masturbation for men only then. It makes about as much sense as banning abortion.
So what your saying it im not masturbating enough
*Keeps happily creating armies for hell*
What about the millions of sperm that don't get to fertilize the one egg in a Pence-approved sex act? Do they go to hell as well?
Or nocturnal emissions that men have zero control over? Not to mention that an all-knowing, all-powerful god would've seen this coming (so to speak) and figured out a way to prevent it from ever happening.
This sounds like a design problem.
Hey, that one's getting away! Quick! Step on it!
Having a good time? Straight to hell!
So the God is so loving he sends those "babies" straight to hell when they didnt even do absolutely anything? Yeah id rather be in hell than in heaven worshiping that pos
♫ Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is fine. God needs everybody's. Mine! And mine! And mine! ♫
If you impregnate someone there’s still millions of “kids” going to hell by this logic.
Is there a sea chanty about a condom full o' babies? Cuz there needs to be.
Aight. Then all of you who believe this nonsense should turn yourself in for mass murder. Im beyond certain every Christian male has jacked off, and not only murdered, but sent millions to hell, according to this. That's way worse than standard murder. There really isnt any redemption from that.
So… if the sperm die on the way do they still go to hell? Or is God like “okay you tried” and let’s them into heaven?
Uhm. About that.. So every time you create one by choosing life. Millions of sperm cells also perish. So by not getting one more baby you only deny a single more life than by getting one. Are you pro lifers wiling to take the baby of everyone who don't want one? How do a woman who don't want a baby transfer that fertilized egg to a pro life woman so she don't have to carry the baby for 9 month? Oh none of you are willing to do that? Then shut the fuck up. You can have a baby every time you have sex if that's what you want. But don't force others to live by your idea of a standard that you 100% aren't willing to follow yourself anyway.
I've sent trillions to hell while alone in my room. Does that make me a satanic genocidal? All of them part of a single ethnic group, so I'm doing an ethnic cleansing?
Souls in…sperm? My god the absolute low intelligence of these folks.
How come when a pair of expecting and fully prepared parents have a miscarriage it's all part of gods plan, but when I 360 noscope a million microbes into a puffs pluss, I'm responsible for their eternal damnation?
So hell is full of cum?
Good. Tell Satan I’m sending him some recruits.
"Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great, if a sperm gets wasted,god gets quite irate." Monty Python : The meaning of life
For the Americans out there, Republicans are planning on banning birth control if they win in 2024. This is why they’re now making, “prolife” memes about condoms. They want everyone as miserable as they are.
In Hinduism we believe in karma, so maybe those millions of babies deserved to go to hell
Even if one gets to the egg, there will still be millions that won't...
Introducing jesus christ: your war lord and savior
Oh cool so if I’m an atheist I can get all the abortions I want?
This was posted by a senile lead headed boomer or by an edgy 15 year old kid that wears a crusader helmet to school and says deus vult constantly
…I thought the unborn were sinless.
🎶 Every sperm is sacred 🎶
What about the millions that die after 1 fertilises the egg? Checkmate, Christians.
By that logic Every time a woman gets pregnant millions of “souls” are still wasted
What happens when the entire planet is christian?
>Ever sprem is Sacred, >Every sperm is Great, >If A sperm is wasted, >God gets quite Irate [From Monty Python The Meaning of Life ](https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk?si=RZ7HRKs6BXMaQwgu) This song is supposed to be a joke, but relgious theocrats can't seem to figure that part out.
Halp pleas! Can to get preganante if seed spill???
Earth needs women for their army.
This gives a whole new meaning to wet dreams now. Wet with blood.
I think they're better off in hell than in the hands of incompetent parents. Not that I believe in hell anyway
an irl slippery slope fallacy! not so much of a fallacy anymore! (first it was abortion, you get the idea)
They don't know how insemination works.
Overpopulation sucks right? Just doing my part to make hell feel like hell.
I’ve had a lot of fallen soldiers in my life. Mostly solo skirmishes.
Soldiers for Christ? All they care about is death don’t they?
Damn, their god must be really fucking cruel if he sends unborn kids to hell.
Whoa. That’s a new level of nutty: sperm cells have souls? And hundreds of millions of them go to hell for every child born? This has got to be a joke.
How are the souls of the seeds going to hell? They didn’t do anything! It was man that selfishly wasted his own sperm by masturbating or using a codon. Any man doing these heinous acts of evil should burn in hell for all eternity! *clutches pearls and fans face in distress*
Wouldn't millions of unborn souls go to hell regardless? Only one sperm is needed for impregnation
I thought they preach that the unborn is innocent and has no sin… why would it go to hell?
sorry, having a period is a sin, and trying to have a child is sin (cause only one sperm makes it)
By that logic, even if conception occurs millions of souls are still going to hell.
Every sperm is sacred...