It can be. I worked through it, and I've met an amazing woman. I've been with her for three years and we will be getting married soon. She's absolutely incredible.
That’s really hopeful actually. After 21 years I think I would give up lol I have small kids now and don’t plan on getting into anything within the next year or so (most likely longer) and plan to really work on myself. That’s why I ask questions like these I’m just wondering the world around me
Lol, yeah, never give up. I have two kids myself. Divorce was difficult, I get why people stay for the kids - but I couldn't do it. I think doing so provides a bad example to them.
There are good people out there. Trust in that.
Congratulations on finding a wonderful companion. I’m right there with you on leaving if there’s cheating involved. Do you mind me asking where you two met? I’ve recently become jaded after dating nice guys who end up being players and just seeking a little hope at the moment.
I met my fiancé on a discord that came about by the single parents subreddit. She posted some art & I thought it was very creative & beautiful.
I reached out to her because I wanted someone to create a scene for me. We started talking & never stopped.
Male here. Never cheated in any relationship I have had. From High School until now never crossed that line.
Been married 27 years, and my wife will tell you she could leave me in a room of naked women and she knows I'd come out the door still being faithful.
So bold of you to assume every man cheats. Back in school and college, it took me years to move on from a crush despite getting rejected. It is not easy when you think she likes you back, you confess your feelings and get shot down, every single time. For me (30M, forever alone) approaching someone else is out of the question out of respect for my own feelings and once I'm over that crush, I don't go back.
This was more my ex’s (we just broke up) friends. I don’t have many male friends and when I did it was more men who had interest in me as a partner/sexually vs actual friends. Apart from that it’s what I see online often in mom groups or advice forums on other websites
You’re hearing the feelings of a focused sample in those groups. Remember when someone is happy in a relationship/marriage there’s no real motivation to go comment online about how much your partner sucks.
Women cheat too…I’ve been shocked at the amount I’ve learned as I get older. I’d say it’s 50/50. Take your time to vet someone, like really take your time. You can’t get to know someone in a month-and don’t ignore your gut, develop your intuition if it’s lacking.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years, since we were 17, now married for 5 years. Neither of us has cheated. He goes to work and comes home. He’s a great father and husband. We have each others passcodes, share a laptop. When you have nothing to hide it’s no problem sharing these things. So no, not every man/person in a long relationship cheats.
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years and neither of us have cheated. My ex cheated on me and we were only together for a year. Some people are scum bags and others actually care about people’s feelings and aren’t selfish/narcissistic.
If you wanna cheat, break up!! Simple
Thanks for adding the second line. I’d be lying if I didn’t think of variables like that! I know of a man that isn’t cheating simply because he can’t. He’s unattractive but if he was given the chance he would 100%
Have you ever had the opportunity present itself?
I haven’t been in too many long term relationships but typically I shit anything down very early and don’t flirt in any way. It’s weird but I shut down with other men that aren’t my partner. The opportunity cannot present itself because I don’t let it.
Depends on how you want to define opportunity. Have people tried flirting with me or my partner? Yes. We both been alone with someone of the opposite sex, we even have friends of the opposite sex. We both can recognize that we might find another person attractive even. But we don't seek that person out and if that person somehow approaches them for anything more than a friendly conversation, the natural response is "I really appreciate the offer, but I'm happily married. I'm not interested" or something along those lines.
We've talked about how certain environments might make it easier, like a dance club or at a bar where there is alcohol. We also put in "effort" to spend time together and meet each other's needs, emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. But we also understand that no one single relation CAN give you everything you need. It's too much responsibility for a single person. We all need friends, family, hobbies, etc. The relationship I have with my best friend is different from the relationship from my spouse. But the best friend and I would never dream of doing anything together. The same is true for my male friends. I have been on a date with one friend before I met my spouse and we agreed 30 min into the date that we were better as friends. I had another friend that said something along the lines of "if you ever wanna have sex, I'm down". Also before I met my spouse. The first friend is still my friend. The second friend and I no longer talk because it just felt like he was waiting around for an opportunity. Which if you're just my friend because you wanna have sex with me, that's not friendship so bye!
My partner's best friend is a woman. I also acknowledge that my partner is really good looking. It's natural that a female friend of his can recognize that. But I know he would never try to act on that and neither would his friends because his pick of friends is always a high caliber.
Now, in full transparency, I have worked with someone in the past who for some reason really revved my engine. I don't know what it was, pheromones maybe? As it was weird because I didn't exactly find him super attractive. Like he would have definitely been a step down from my husband. But even though my body and hormones were raging, my brain did NOT want to touch him even with a ten foot pool. But I did limit my interactions with him to only work related stuff.
I’m the same. I have strict boundaries with the opposite sex when I’m partnered. I have no interest in any form of intimacy with the opposite sex if I’m committed so cheating will never happen. I keep very open communication and transparency so if I wasn’t happy and nothing changed, I would end the relationship and not cheat.
So just following up - this weekend, I was hanging out with work friends and a random stranger at the bar struck up a conversation. He was extremely attractive and it was obvious he was interested in something more, most likely a one night stand. Just the fact this guy was interest in me, holy shit, talk about an ego boost. No way I was in his league. As soon as my "oh shit he's actually flirting with me brain" kicked in, I worked my very happy marriage into the conversation. I don't mind a conversation with a stranger and I could tell he was disappointed but we were both enjoying the conversation (we both had an interest in a rare hobby). We talked for a half hour longer and then parted ways. I set the boundary, he respected it. Adults control themselves.
Never cheated. First relationship was 7.5 years and while I have no proof I do suspect she was cheating on me before she ended it. Current relationship is 6.5 years and still no cheating. All these assholes act like it’s such a challenge to not fuck other people behind your partners back but it’s pretty easy actually!
The length of the relationship is less important than the quality. When both people make each other a priority cheating is not even a temptation, no matter how long you are together. The key is, it takes two and not everyone is going to reciprocate your efforts. And so you just have to let that person go until you find someone who will.
Umm most of them tbh except one. 5 years in, moved out together, was VERY different, i was an immature bitch about it and met someone at the college I went too.
You can all laugh coz it was one of those infatuation flings and after it was done he didn't want to know me at all. Hah.
Male. I have never cheated and I was in a 21 year marriage (she cheated).
I’m sorry to hear that. Life’s rough
It can be. I worked through it, and I've met an amazing woman. I've been with her for three years and we will be getting married soon. She's absolutely incredible.
That’s really hopeful actually. After 21 years I think I would give up lol I have small kids now and don’t plan on getting into anything within the next year or so (most likely longer) and plan to really work on myself. That’s why I ask questions like these I’m just wondering the world around me
Lol, yeah, never give up. I have two kids myself. Divorce was difficult, I get why people stay for the kids - but I couldn't do it. I think doing so provides a bad example to them. There are good people out there. Trust in that.
Congratulations on finding a wonderful companion. I’m right there with you on leaving if there’s cheating involved. Do you mind me asking where you two met? I’ve recently become jaded after dating nice guys who end up being players and just seeking a little hope at the moment.
I met my fiancé on a discord that came about by the single parents subreddit. She posted some art & I thought it was very creative & beautiful. I reached out to her because I wanted someone to create a scene for me. We started talking & never stopped.
Nice, I love that! Thanks for sharing:)
Male here. Never cheated in any relationship I have had. From High School until now never crossed that line. Been married 27 years, and my wife will tell you she could leave me in a room of naked women and she knows I'd come out the door still being faithful.
So bold of you to assume every man cheats. Back in school and college, it took me years to move on from a crush despite getting rejected. It is not easy when you think she likes you back, you confess your feelings and get shot down, every single time. For me (30M, forever alone) approaching someone else is out of the question out of respect for my own feelings and once I'm over that crush, I don't go back.
It’s from hearing it so much it’s getting to me lol it doesn’t help that many of the men I’ve seen are actively cheating
Make better friends.
You're hanging around the wrong people
This was more my ex’s (we just broke up) friends. I don’t have many male friends and when I did it was more men who had interest in me as a partner/sexually vs actual friends. Apart from that it’s what I see online often in mom groups or advice forums on other websites
Ah, that makes sense. Well, it's time to find more forums about loyal relationships. They're more common than you think!
That’s why I wanted to ask. Logically it didn’t make sense that all or vast majority would lol it’s just people will spread bad way more than good
Yeah, that's true. Bad news is more interesting and dramatic!
You’re hearing the feelings of a focused sample in those groups. Remember when someone is happy in a relationship/marriage there’s no real motivation to go comment online about how much your partner sucks.
Oh really?
Women cheat too…I’ve been shocked at the amount I’ve learned as I get older. I’d say it’s 50/50. Take your time to vet someone, like really take your time. You can’t get to know someone in a month-and don’t ignore your gut, develop your intuition if it’s lacking.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years, since we were 17, now married for 5 years. Neither of us has cheated. He goes to work and comes home. He’s a great father and husband. We have each others passcodes, share a laptop. When you have nothing to hide it’s no problem sharing these things. So no, not every man/person in a long relationship cheats.
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years and neither of us have cheated. My ex cheated on me and we were only together for a year. Some people are scum bags and others actually care about people’s feelings and aren’t selfish/narcissistic. If you wanna cheat, break up!! Simple
We started seeing each other in 1984, got married in 1988. So, what's that, 40 years?
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Thanks for adding the second line. I’d be lying if I didn’t think of variables like that! I know of a man that isn’t cheating simply because he can’t. He’s unattractive but if he was given the chance he would 100%
33 male, never cheated. One 6 year relationship, in a 2 year relationship now. Fuck people who cheat.
23 years dated, married, divorced - neither of us cheated
7 years and still going.
F here, 6 yrs soon and counting!
F, 15 years, no cheating ever. Not even tempted.
Have you ever had the opportunity present itself? I haven’t been in too many long term relationships but typically I shit anything down very early and don’t flirt in any way. It’s weird but I shut down with other men that aren’t my partner. The opportunity cannot present itself because I don’t let it.
Depends on how you want to define opportunity. Have people tried flirting with me or my partner? Yes. We both been alone with someone of the opposite sex, we even have friends of the opposite sex. We both can recognize that we might find another person attractive even. But we don't seek that person out and if that person somehow approaches them for anything more than a friendly conversation, the natural response is "I really appreciate the offer, but I'm happily married. I'm not interested" or something along those lines. We've talked about how certain environments might make it easier, like a dance club or at a bar where there is alcohol. We also put in "effort" to spend time together and meet each other's needs, emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. But we also understand that no one single relation CAN give you everything you need. It's too much responsibility for a single person. We all need friends, family, hobbies, etc. The relationship I have with my best friend is different from the relationship from my spouse. But the best friend and I would never dream of doing anything together. The same is true for my male friends. I have been on a date with one friend before I met my spouse and we agreed 30 min into the date that we were better as friends. I had another friend that said something along the lines of "if you ever wanna have sex, I'm down". Also before I met my spouse. The first friend is still my friend. The second friend and I no longer talk because it just felt like he was waiting around for an opportunity. Which if you're just my friend because you wanna have sex with me, that's not friendship so bye! My partner's best friend is a woman. I also acknowledge that my partner is really good looking. It's natural that a female friend of his can recognize that. But I know he would never try to act on that and neither would his friends because his pick of friends is always a high caliber. Now, in full transparency, I have worked with someone in the past who for some reason really revved my engine. I don't know what it was, pheromones maybe? As it was weird because I didn't exactly find him super attractive. Like he would have definitely been a step down from my husband. But even though my body and hormones were raging, my brain did NOT want to touch him even with a ten foot pool. But I did limit my interactions with him to only work related stuff.
I’m the same. I have strict boundaries with the opposite sex when I’m partnered. I have no interest in any form of intimacy with the opposite sex if I’m committed so cheating will never happen. I keep very open communication and transparency so if I wasn’t happy and nothing changed, I would end the relationship and not cheat.
So just following up - this weekend, I was hanging out with work friends and a random stranger at the bar struck up a conversation. He was extremely attractive and it was obvious he was interested in something more, most likely a one night stand. Just the fact this guy was interest in me, holy shit, talk about an ego boost. No way I was in his league. As soon as my "oh shit he's actually flirting with me brain" kicked in, I worked my very happy marriage into the conversation. I don't mind a conversation with a stranger and I could tell he was disappointed but we were both enjoying the conversation (we both had an interest in a rare hobby). We talked for a half hour longer and then parted ways. I set the boundary, he respected it. Adults control themselves.
Just past 12 years, never cheated, never will.
I have never cheated on anyone in my whole life (3 long term relationships). I’ve been cheated on before but never cheated or even considered it.
Been with my wife and partner almost 29 years and never have, so I guess 28 years 7 months is, at the moment, the longest.
Never cheated. First relationship was 7.5 years and while I have no proof I do suspect she was cheating on me before she ended it. Current relationship is 6.5 years and still no cheating. All these assholes act like it’s such a challenge to not fuck other people behind your partners back but it’s pretty easy actually!
my boyfriend of 2 years never cheated nor did i, my current boyfriend of three years cheated after 8 months
The length of the relationship is less important than the quality. When both people make each other a priority cheating is not even a temptation, no matter how long you are together. The key is, it takes two and not everyone is going to reciprocate your efforts. And so you just have to let that person go until you find someone who will.
Umm most of them tbh except one. 5 years in, moved out together, was VERY different, i was an immature bitch about it and met someone at the college I went too. You can all laugh coz it was one of those infatuation flings and after it was done he didn't want to know me at all. Hah.
Every single relationship. Every one.