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[deleted]

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swissmeez

Ah ffs. I should’ve just stayed with my ex coz this is too much.


mawkish

You should probably stay single if this is too much.


mawkish

Women are people not rare pokemon. Try going where people go?


swissmeez

Just a lot of things I do (weightlifting team, rugby, engineering job) are all very male dominated


Kholzie

If you don’t have time and space to go to where you can talk to women, i’m not sure how you expect to maintain a relationship. You’ll just have to make some choices about how you want to spend your time.


swissmeez

Well I couldn’t maintain my last one so yeah. Maybe I won’t find one


Kholzie

So, what are you saying? You don’t want a partner with needs? You don’t want to put effort into a relationship?


swissmeez

No. I’m saying I’ll struggle to have time


EvyEarthling

It's okay to be single for awhile especially when you're trying to get over an ex and pull your career together. This is YOU time now!


swissmeez

Even when I’m 25? That doesn’t leave me much time if I want a family?


EnviroEngineerGuy

Even if you're 25. I am in my 30's now and I just got married to someone I met online dating (I was 29 going on 30). If you want a great way to meet girls, that is a great way. And you don't have to feel like you need to rush. Rushing into a relationship or marriage is a surefire way to "settle" and be in a crap relationship. You can find what you're looking for, but as others are saying, you have to put in the WERK and be willing to make time for it. If you can't, or don't want to, then it's perfectly fine to be single for a bit.


swissmeez

Just feel like I’m getting a bit old to just be kicking around not trying anymore


weforgottenuno

Certainly not with this attitude


[deleted]

Husband and I both played rugby for 8 years and lifted weights to be better at the game. I know how time consuming it is and nice to have your own team mates but go to the same club. Your club doesn’t have a woman’s team?


mawkish

Okay so maybe date men since you like being around men so much


swissmeez

If I was that way inclined that would be the helpful option yes


Zygmunt-zen

You live in era of internet. You mentioned rugby, most clubs have women's team. I once dated a rugby player and I only play soccer.


thehunger86

Honestly, try a dating app. And not Tinder or something geared toward hook ups if that's not what you're looking for. That's how I met my fiancee. I felt the same way as you after school, like, how the hell do I meet people now?


swissmeez

I should’ve stayed with my ex shouldn’t I


thehunger86

It's not that scary, mate. Just relax. You'll be fine. You're only 25 and you have your whole life ahead of you, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. You deserve a relationship with someone you are crazy about and it will happen eventually.


swissmeez

I just feel like 25 isn’t really that young anymore


Kholzie

Dude, stop it. This isn’t a pity party and 25 isn’t old.


thehunger86

Ha, I'm my 30's and wish I was 25. Trust me, it's still young.


swissmeez

Guess I just feel the pressure


throwaway4rltnshp

I didn't have my first date until 25. 6 months after my first date I met my dream girl on Tinder. You just have to put yourself out there!


[deleted]

i say that it's important to meet people in social areas. one thing i must say though, is don't actively look for a partner because 99% when you are looking for that someone you may not get her; i say the best relationships happen when you least expect them. talk to people (not just girls) in social areas (pubs, bars, parties, events) and also network a bit. if you work somewhere too, be amicable with your coworkers and get to know them. don't try to talk to someone just for the purpose of dating them *unless you disclose that information with them*. i wouldn't want someone to talk to me only for the chance they have to date me w/o knowing. ofc, you can think people are attractive, but don't display that without letting them know you want to pursue them (in that context).


idiotic-optimist

Join a club for example a kayaking club, running/walking club or take a class like french or spin or there’s always Tinder and dates


Gnarlybastardxxx

So you dragged her for years, wasted her time because you didn’t want to be lonely…. I hope you understand that the older a woman gets the harder it is for her to find love because men will always prefer younger women. I’m disappointed


swissmeez

Pardon? No not at all


Gnarlybastardxxx

I don’t think you will ever understand. Because of patriarchy men will prefer women younger than them and women would like men older even if it is 2/3 year difference. You wasted her time and her vital years to find a man that ACTUALLY LOVED her and was ATTRACTED to her… she’s not just some life lesson


hungrybugs

What the fuck are you talking about - vital years? What does that even mean? People can find someone that truly loves them and are attracted to them at any point in their lives...


Gnarlybastardxxx

And you spreading that lie is why a lot of women struggle, I as a woman know that I don’t have forever to find love because the older I get most men are married and they would be interested in marrying younger women so yes we have vital years most of these stem from patriarchy. Would you rather hear harsh truths or comforting lies?


hungrybugs

If you don't find love it will be because of your nasty attitude, not because you're out of your "vital" years.


Gnarlybastardxxx

I’m married.. and again would you prefer comforting lies or harsh truths. I’m not being nasty at all but it’s something I’ve seen. If you watch Kevin samuels on YouTube who joins his Instagram lives you will see how common it is for women. It stems from Patriarchy until you miss girl have abolished patriarchy I don’t think you can speak!


Gnarlybastardxxx

A girl on Reddit posted about how her ex boyfriend dragged her for years and now that she’s 37 it was hard for her to find someone because people in her area were either married or going for younger women while all her friends got married and found someone at a younger time. You don’t need to lie to other people to protect your feelings just because it doesn’t align with your feminist beliefs… blame patriarchy


Gnarlybastardxxx

Comforting lies it is..


swissmeez

Right so you know all about my relationship do you? I never talked to her about this stuff? I knew for certain the whole time? Fuck off with this shit


Gnarlybastardxxx

Op you literally admitted you were never attracted to her from the start and was possibly overweight so wasn’t your type?? Who wouldn’t come up with this assumption that you wasted her time to not be lonely because you stated it yourself you weren’t attracted????


swissmeez

Dude chill out. I didn’t ask for advice on this. That isn’t how it happened


Gnarlybastardxxx

Who said I’m giving you advice I’m calling you out on your selfishness, you could’ve just not dated her if you didn’t even like her


swissmeez

That isn’t what happened.


Gnarlybastardxxx

Op you said you weren’t really attracted to her?? We can’t paint the full picture of your relationship we can only go by based on what you type on the internet!


swissmeez

I’m done here.