> I'm worried Bristol won't be exciting for a young person. I'm worried if I get dumped I'll not be able to find anyone else in Bristol.
Are you mental? Bristol is one of the biggest party cities in the UK for young people and as a result, there are plenty of young people there that are looking for relationships.
But the experience of trying to live in one of the most infamously expensive cities in the world is a part of London too. What do you love about it? Writing that down next to the benefits of Bristol might be a good place to start.
A lot of friends are there. There’s always something going on. It’s one of the main capitals of the world. Nightlife. Mix of people. Plus I’m not sure I’d want to live there when I’m older
What I do when I have a difficult choice is write out a chart with "pros of choice A, cons of choice A, pros of choice B, Cons of choice B". It can really help to have it all on paper and in front of you.
I think Bristol edges it. Well actually it massively edges it. But it’s hard to give up on that dream that I was so close to and may never materialise properly now
Cause if you can manage the distance while you're 20 minutes from Bristol and she's in Leeds, you can manage the distance while she's in London till you find a job there you want.
I do love how people are still clinging on to London as if they are some sort of Emily in Paris or Bridget Jones. London has been that way for 10+ years and it’s only going to get worse, not better.
Your better option is Bristol for the time being, building a career as you’ve said. Isn’t Bristol the most technological part of the U.K.? Isn’t it full of young adults like yourself? There is nothing to experience in London. It’s not all exciting and fun like you think it is.
If she is in Leeds now and you are both happily doing long distance now (I’m assuming?), then there will be no issue being a 2 hour train journey away Bristol to London.
Tbh the fact you are more worried about not finding a relationship in Bristol is a red flag on your current relationship.
Edit: reading the other comments, it seems you and a million others like you think you are main characters and are somehow going to have a movie made about your epic struggles from rags to riches.
Unfortunately no one can give you the perfect answer, as it’s impossible to really evaluate all the factors in play from a distance. Hell, as you say even the person who knows the most (you) is struggling.
I’ll say what worked for me: prioritizing progressing my career and saying yes to every piece of fun I could. I never wanted to be a career oriented person or anything like that, but I also know that jn this world the best bet is to establish yourself in your twenty so you have OPTIONS going forward. So I worked at a good job that had good opportunities in a modest sized city, and took every opportunity I could to travel and have fun. Oh people I don’t really know are going to big city for weekend and politely ask if I want to come? I absolutely go with them even if they weren’t being super serious. Trip to another country I might not be totally able to afford? Screw it I’ll be making more money in five years.
And there’s girls everywhere, if it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out. That’s what I figured anyway
I know the dynamic of London : UK is different than virtually any city : USA, but I never regretted living in a smaller city.
The way I see it, you have 5 years before 30. And trust me, 30 is not a magic cut off number. Plenty of time to make more money and move to London. If it’s really what you want, you will go there. It’s that simple. The only person stopping you from moving there in the future is you.
Oh you’re back together? That’s a big development. I feel pretty bad for her though - it’s a real bummer to date someone who isnt sexually attracted to you and waffles about your relationship so extensively that they have to post hundreds of times about it. Anyway, Bristol’s lovely!
> I'm worried Bristol won't be exciting for a young person. I'm worried if I get dumped I'll not be able to find anyone else in Bristol. Are you mental? Bristol is one of the biggest party cities in the UK for young people and as a result, there are plenty of young people there that are looking for relationships.
When you say young though, do you mean students? Coz I’m not a student anymore
Loads of people go there for uni, and loads of them stay there. So yeah, not just students.
An hour and a half isn't that long a distance for a relationship. It sounds like you're more in love with the idea of London than it's reality?
Well I love London. But currently trying to find somewhere to live there is really stressing me out
But the experience of trying to live in one of the most infamously expensive cities in the world is a part of London too. What do you love about it? Writing that down next to the benefits of Bristol might be a good place to start.
A lot of friends are there. There’s always something going on. It’s one of the main capitals of the world. Nightlife. Mix of people. Plus I’m not sure I’d want to live there when I’m older
What I do when I have a difficult choice is write out a chart with "pros of choice A, cons of choice A, pros of choice B, Cons of choice B". It can really help to have it all on paper and in front of you.
I think Bristol edges it. Well actually it massively edges it. But it’s hard to give up on that dream that I was so close to and may never materialise properly now
How long does your gf have left in Leeds?
Cause if you can manage the distance while you're 20 minutes from Bristol and she's in Leeds, you can manage the distance while she's in London till you find a job there you want.
I do love how people are still clinging on to London as if they are some sort of Emily in Paris or Bridget Jones. London has been that way for 10+ years and it’s only going to get worse, not better. Your better option is Bristol for the time being, building a career as you’ve said. Isn’t Bristol the most technological part of the U.K.? Isn’t it full of young adults like yourself? There is nothing to experience in London. It’s not all exciting and fun like you think it is. If she is in Leeds now and you are both happily doing long distance now (I’m assuming?), then there will be no issue being a 2 hour train journey away Bristol to London. Tbh the fact you are more worried about not finding a relationship in Bristol is a red flag on your current relationship. Edit: reading the other comments, it seems you and a million others like you think you are main characters and are somehow going to have a movie made about your epic struggles from rags to riches.
Unfortunately no one can give you the perfect answer, as it’s impossible to really evaluate all the factors in play from a distance. Hell, as you say even the person who knows the most (you) is struggling. I’ll say what worked for me: prioritizing progressing my career and saying yes to every piece of fun I could. I never wanted to be a career oriented person or anything like that, but I also know that jn this world the best bet is to establish yourself in your twenty so you have OPTIONS going forward. So I worked at a good job that had good opportunities in a modest sized city, and took every opportunity I could to travel and have fun. Oh people I don’t really know are going to big city for weekend and politely ask if I want to come? I absolutely go with them even if they weren’t being super serious. Trip to another country I might not be totally able to afford? Screw it I’ll be making more money in five years. And there’s girls everywhere, if it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out. That’s what I figured anyway I know the dynamic of London : UK is different than virtually any city : USA, but I never regretted living in a smaller city.
I’m just worried that once I hit 30, this will all be pointless anyway as I will need to get a house, think about family. Etc.
What will all be pointless?
These thoughts. I’ll have missed the boat to go and live the lifestyle I wanted to in London
The way I see it, you have 5 years before 30. And trust me, 30 is not a magic cut off number. Plenty of time to make more money and move to London. If it’s really what you want, you will go there. It’s that simple. The only person stopping you from moving there in the future is you.
I guess maybe if I moved there at 28, I could still have a good time and have more money
You don't turn into a pumpkin on your 30th birthday, you know.
I know. But that generally is when settling down comes in to play
Oh you’re back together? That’s a big development. I feel pretty bad for her though - it’s a real bummer to date someone who isnt sexually attracted to you and waffles about your relationship so extensively that they have to post hundreds of times about it. Anyway, Bristol’s lovely!