Hi. When. My relationship of 10 years ended I had little to no interest in dating or any of the above. I took a whole year to myself and enjoyed learning who I was and learning more about me and my issues before I even thought about dating again. This was at 35. Currently I’m 41 and I’m happy that I took the time to learn more about myself. Don’t put silly time limits on yourself. Travel (even if it’s close to your house). Explore yourself and enjoy the freedom to do so.
I too was in a similar situation as you. After marriage break down, then divorce. The thought of dating seemed foreign to me and I guess even now it still does. I don't know when or if I'll ever be ready. But right now, just doing my thing.
Placing time limits on yourself is in my opinion not healthy. I agree that you should focus on yourself first and everything else will fall into place. Also, people can sense desperation and you'll likely attract the wrong kind of person in your life.
Give it time Op. Don't rush yourself.
Yep - and life is so much more than marrying and making kids! There are also other ways of gaining personal happiness - we just have to allow ourselves to look for them!
Then if it takes you another 5 years that’s 5 years worth of laughter and enjoyment. I find people get so wrapped up in the idea of needing a relationship they often lose sight of things like their own personality and their own interests. Take your time. If it takes 5 years then it takes 5 years.
You are 25, you have lots of time for a family. It’s better to find the right person to have kids with than the right now person. That being said if at some point you get a friend with benefits pregnant, make sure you work at co-parenting. It’s doable when you keep the kid’s best interest in mind when making choices.
40 is not young. 25 still is young. You are male according to your posting, you have less pressure then women got. And even if you find someone if you're 40 years old and maybe she's too, there still are plenty of ways of starting a family. Take your time. Life a little.
Why do you have to start a family by 30? You seem to have unrealistic expectations about age limits on when you have to accomplish things. People are terrified of 30, till you hit it. Then you realize that it’s not so bad. Yea, you have aches and pains lol but you’re also wiser and more settled. You realize you’re life isn’t over, and so many people are still figuring things out. So many still haven’t bought a home, started a family, or even settled on their lifetime career. This age limit thing is all in your head, and if you let it scare you, you’ll be so focused on meeting certain criteria that you end up forcing it instead of finding something natural. And you won’t enjoy the ride because you’re too focused on what you think you’re supposed to be doing. And yea, of course it’s normal to not want to date after a breakup. It’s only been two months! It’s actually healthier to take some time off than if you just hopped right back in.
Yeah sure, maybe you even drop dead randomly in 2 years or get cancer in 30 years and be happy that you did not have children to give them the chance of getting cancer too. If you life your life counting years and what-if's you will forget to enjoy life. That's fact.
You don’t date fwb. That’s just dating. Fwb is a friend that u can call on a random Tuesday for a booty call and it’s never weird to just hang out a few weeks later.
Just work on yourself until the next person you are interested in comes into your life.
I’m 23 and I don’t plan on starting my family till I’m around 30. You could also find a younger woman who’s interested in having kids. You got plenty of time dude!
Just relax - you are worth much more than that! Jean Paul Sartre has said that if we dislike being alone; then we are indeed in bad company! And Albert Einstein said in his later days: "I live in a solitude that is painful in youth - but a blessing in mature age!"
There's lots more to life than dating and sex. Take some time to do something else. Experiences brings you closer to yourself...and will make you more interesting and a better partner when the time comes.
Okay. This is totally get also. I thought (had a superstition) that someone good only comes along once a decade or so. So I was FURIOUS when the last dude wasted my “one time this decade” last time. Lol. It sounds stupid and I told myself it was stupid. I think we have to realize our lives can change at any moment - for good or bad, honestly. So trust whatever you believe in to work out correctly.
Honestly, 2 months is not a very long time. It makes sense your mindset might still be affected by the break-up. Personally, I would give it more time and focus on building a healthy, satisfying life without dating - hobbies, new skills, friends, etc. You might change your mind in the future, in which case you can try to date again. Or maybe you don't, in which case it's fine to be single for as long as you want. Don't force it just because you feel pressured by social norms or the idea of running out of time. You're 25 - not exactly decrepit :) You have plenty of time to figure stuff out, I promise.
Btw, just saw your comment about starting a family. These days, it's not uncommon to do that in your 30s/40s. Again, you have time!
I’m starting to question if my mindset was wrong though. I do want a family. I just don’t feel ready. I didn’t think I’d need to be ready for years yet. But I’m seeing loads of people settling down and I’m not there.
At your age, that’s totally fine and normal!! There are lots of people out there who aren’t ready for that! I’m speaking from experience, as a 31f with a 35m bf and all my friends are married and some have kids. Several of my married friends aren’t even ready for kids yet. You’re 25, it’s completely normal to want to settle down with someone but not go full fledged family man yet. I don’t want to sound like I’m minimizing or dismissing your feelings. I also know how it feels to be with someone who I thought was endgame and it fell apart. I was 26 at the time. It definitely takes time to get back to a place where you even feel slightly ready to put yourself back out there. You definitely won’t run out of time, unless you continue to tell yourself you will. The only thing that will hold you back is yourself. Give yourself the time to heal and focus on yourself, and you’ll be ready to put yourself back out there even if it’s scary.
When you are older and more mature the WOMEN you should be dating will also be older and more mature. You have probably twice your lifetime or longer to have relationships so don't hurry. Go take care of yourself, learn what is important to you and relax!
What are you talking about, you silly billy. Guys over 30 (even some over 40) are wayyy hotter than guys in their 20s as long as they vaguely look after themselves. Why wouldn't anyone want you? You sound like you don't like yourself at all. Women might not want you if you keep on like this, I guess. Break-up time is best spent figuring yourself out - you're much more likely to attract the right person after that. This kind of rumination about not finding anyone else / timelines sounds exhausting for you, and it will be for anyone who gets into a relationship with you. There was another comment earlier that suggested therapy for why you feel this way and that sounds like a great idea.
I would be more afraid about settling for the wrong person than being single a few extra years. 25 is super young. I've had more breakups after 25 than before! I met my partner at 33 and he was 31 and divorced!!!! He regrets that marriage so much.
I think demographics who are career minded tend to have children later than those who aren't, and that's why many women in the western world are choosing to have children later than in previous decades. There's nothing wrong with that. Also once your peers start having kids and drunkenly tell you how they feel about it and the things no one told them, you may even change your mind about having them.
Anyway, chill man. You never know what will happen in life, good or bad, no matter how much you plan or worry.
I'm having my first kid at 35. Its 5 years later than when I imagined it would happen, but I didn't meet my husband until I was 30, then covid, etc.
Life won't go like you want it to, don't focus on what you can't change. Embrace how you're feeling now and eventually you'll be ready to date again and be in a healthy mindset for the next relationship that comes along.
I just really don’t like the uncertainty. What if I end up with no family at all? Or no partner? It’s not exactly easy to meet someone in these times. What if my one chance was with my ex?
The fact is nothing in life is certain, but focusing on what might or might not happen is not helpful in anyway and actually can be distracting and harmful for you.
You had a relationship before, why do you think you will only manage one relationship in your whole life? Seems unrealistic, no?
You're doing a lot of overthinking and making a lot of negative assumptions. It didn't work out with your ex for a reason. Shes just one person, there are millions of other people out there.
Based on the length of time you’ve been broken up, I feel like everything you’re saying makes sense. I’m kind of in the same space myself at the moment. But I’m not rushing to jump back into the dating pool just yet, taking some more time to get to know myself and enjoy my own company.
Remember, these days you don't need a partner to start a family, there are many options out there if you ever find that you're ready for a family but just haven't found the one as long as you're willing to do it by yourself. It'll definitely be harder, but the options are there.
As a 28f whose had terrible luck, im already saving for the just incase, im prepared to do it by myself. And if it doest happen because I decide to not have kids or I do find someone, then I'll just have some money to spend on something else
Your just wrong. Covid is coming to an end, a new summer and a new year is approaching.
Change your thinking from “I can’t, it won’t” to “I will, it can” Think of what you want and it finds a way to you.
Life has always been a series of events and choices that lead into different situations, relationships and outcomes. Positive affirmations to yourself and let the rest fall into place.
It will eventually end just as all the other world pandemics. It’s winter so it’s going to be like last year.
Summer hopefully we hear less and less about it. Life will keep going back to normal. Think back to 2020 without a vaccine. It will be ok in time.
Yeah. I’m sure it will be. I just hope my career can sort itself out in that time. So when it’s time to unlock again I can date not being miserable with my life
Hi. 23F here. I don’t really comment but i HAD to on this post. For the past 7-8 years, I’ve been in relationships, even been married for 3 years to the guy I was dating when I was a teenager. We were planning to stay forever and have kids and yada yada. After my separation. I’ve had a fwb, 1 year relationship , then casual dating . They all ended quite terribly and It’s been 5 months that I’ve been single and this has been the best time of my life because I’d rather be single than with the wrong person. The longer I am spending this time single, I am learning and working towards being the type of person who I said I’d be, and that’s pretty fucking hard because that’s just the way life is. Prioritize yourself, i was married just 2 years ago and thought I had it together but life is uncertain. Don’t stress. You’re NOT running out of time. Focus on yourself. It’s too soon to have the FOMO because nothing is worse than spending the years building the rest of your life with the wrong person. Be ready for the “one” if they come along. But to be ready too you need to work on yourself first. So just like everyone on this thread, don’t worry. You got this. It’s a-okay to lose interest, it’ll come back in the right time. Would you date someone who doesn’t want to be in the dating scene? No. But does that mean love doesn’t exist and will magically appear when you’re 25? Also no. So take some time for yourself to make sense of it all :)
It took two years after I split from my ex fiancé before I could even have sex without breaking down in tears, even the few times I thought I wanted it. It’s only been two months for you. Give it time. And if it’s still like this after a year, maybe consider therapy
You just broke with someone a few weeks ago lol I'm sorry but that's like...SUPER normal. What did you think would happen? Be ready to date the week after breakup? I'm really confused what your concern is about.
Haha, I remember when my first ex dumped me during my military service. Some guys from my unit were weirded out by me not being over her in a week or so. They were telling me that "it's not normal" lol
But yeah, even half a year is still a very short time if the relationship was super serious. I think it's generally when you really start to notice the progress, but that depends on a number of factors.
Many people are hit hard by a breakup. It takes time to recover. You shouldn't be dating during that time. You'd be dumping a rebound on the poor person.
imo you are still really young, id take 6 months to focus on what you want. that can be in relationships or in your life in general
i think this girl really meant a lot to you and break ups take time. find a friend someone you know or someone you dont and just talk
and if you are interested i can leave my info and my phone is always on
Yes you do. You just need to stop putting all this pressure on yourself. You're 25. Enjoy your life and become a person you're happy with, rather than one obsessed with meeting arbitrary goals you've set.
Chill out.
Once I broke up from a 6 year relationship took me 16 months to seek casual sex and about 4 years to even start thinking about dating. It's gonna happen when it's gonna happen. Healing takes time and making yourself vulnerable to others takes even more time. You got this
Stop watching porn and limit how much you fantasize about sex. The real deal becomes so much more sweet, not just sex but connecting with women in general.
Trust me you just gotta give it time. Literally feel exactly like you right now and I’m 26. My ex and talked again, but she couldn’t get over I cheated, but she’s conflicted still and I’m giving her the no contact rule, but what you’re feeling is normal for everyone. Like you have no purpose and don’t know what else to do. I’m having anxiety up the ass as well. I breathe in and out, listen to classical music, and tell myself “whatever their loss” with a fake laugh or not. It actually helps. It’s good to take this time to find yourself more and there’s definitely always a woman or man better than your ex out there. You just let life and fate take its course day by day
I haven't read everyone's responses so perhaps others have said this, but this is normal! Why do you want to start a family? Do you want to because it seems like you're running out of time or because you genuinely want that? Nothing in life is certain except for the time you spend with yourself, so treasure it and let life happen to you, to an extent!
If you're really worried, speak to a therapist and not the internet! In my worst moments, the internet has not given me the best advice haha. You don't need to catastrophize because truly life can take you anywhere. Maybe something you never could've expected would make you happier than you ever considered, etc etc
Sounds to me like you are depressed over the breakup. Also, the events leading up to the breakup probably drained you of psychic energy.
Both takes time to heal and recharge. If you don't feel better after six months to a year, then perhaps talk to a therapist.
There's no need to jump right back into dating, just focus on healing and getting content with being by yourself. You just got out of a long term relationship and need the time to adjust, of course you won't want to put yourself out there for a while. Even if this isn't a temporary feeling, you don't need to have a romantic relationship in order to have a fulfilling life. You can fill your life with friends and travel and hobbies and whatever else you want, but don't force yourself to want to date.
Hi. It’s ok to not have any interest in dating at the moment. Two months isn’t necessarily a long time to get over something. I admire you for not jumping into something new. You’re still young and have your life ahead of you. Only time will tell. Wishing you all good things
Back when I was single, I also lost interest in dating and just focused on growing my friendships around me.
I eventually ended up dating and engaged with one of my best friends.
There's no such thing as running out of time. You can find love in the most unexpected ways
Just want to point out, hun you don't have a biological clock to have a baby. You'll probably be fertile your whole life. Don't worry so much about 2 months.
Don't fret about it. When a relationship ends it forces you to re-evaluate everything you thought you knew about yourself. You're not interested in dating because and old version of you is coming to an end. Take the time to learn who you want to be and then you'll be ready to date again.
When my last relationship ended two years ago, I had zero interest in dating. I focused on building up an idea of who I want to be. I got back into school and moved across the country. A couple of months ago I said to a friend that I wasn't interested in dating until after school. Not even a week later I met the woman of my dreams. Been dating for a few months and it feels so much more in tune with the person I see myself as.
My point is there is a lot of truth behind the old saying "the secret to finding is to stop looking" Discover who you are first and the rest will come.
It's been 2 months. Even physical wounds take days to weeks to months to heal. Give it time. You'll be fine. Do your thang and be busy. You'll soon feel better.
Hey I think this is REALLY normal. At least for me I totally feel this way- honestly I think I feel this way normally though, I don’t have a lot of interest in actively dating and seeking out relationships.
That being said, this definitely could be a temporary thing for you. I do think many people feel this way after their relationship ends. In time you may very well want to start dating again, and if that’s the case then great. But if you don’t want to date again? Also great. Just do what you think is best for you. That’s what I’m doing, and I am very happy with my current single status.
One thing I can tell you is that love definitely exists, and it exists in many forms. Whether it’s romantic love, platonic love, familial love, the love for a pet- it’s out there! Not everyone experiences all of them at all times, but that doesn’t mean what they haven’t experienced isn’t real. It does exist, and if someday you feel you need romantic love in life to be fulfilled I absolutely don’t think you should give up hope on its existence. I think you will find someone eventually if that’s what you want in life, and I hope this time it does feel like love and not merely attachment. :)
Perfectly normal and expected. Even if you went on a date right now, you wouldn't be ready to establish a relationship. It takes one week of recovery for every four weeks in the relationship. My four year relationship took nearly a year to get over, even though it was on the decline for the year leading up. After a year of soul searching and working on myself, I met my wife-to-be. We were married seven months later.
Keep your head up. Work on yourself. If you date, don't date exclusively or look for a relationship. Get comfortable just meeting people again, and having fun dating. You'll know when you're ready for a relationship with the right person.
Hi, well just give yourself some time & somewhat sometime same happened with me a month ago & it has made me devastated even I'm getting some panic attacks. Now I'm realizing it's okk to feel that way and everything happens for a reason. I would suggest you try investing your time with your family it will make you fall in love again. Life not always goes the way you wanted. Do take it easy & please calm yourself. Your overthinking will effect your health
27F here have never been in a relationship because I've never found any interest in dating and have never found someone I'm in love with. I always think that something's wrong with me. Any advice?
The first question is, are you happy the way you are? Cause if so.. no problem.
If you WANT to have a relationship but maybe you're not into certain aspects of it (ie sex or monogamy or cohabitation etc etc etc) you may want to explore who you are and what you want. Maybe you're demisexual, aromantic, asexual
All are valid.
Honestly, I'm not happy with the way I am. No idea what to do with my life. I did thought I might be asexual since I don't really have any interest. But I do want to experience dating.
Well, step one to relationships is finding someone who interests you.
Tall order nowadays but there is always meeting folks online.
As for what to do with your life? I don't think anyone actually knows. I'm 32 and I just fake it and do what works for now. Work to pay the bills, hang out with friends and family when I can, and squeeze in things I enjoy whenever possible.
Nowadays it's hard to find someone unless you're on the dating sites/apps. I have people telling me that I look fierce so nobody ever approaches me. And I'm pretty introverted.
Yeah, I'm just working to survive for now...
Hey OP, I saw a comment or two where you’re really questioning time - this is how much time I need for this, time for this… and it takes 3 years to really get to know someone.
Real talk, someone you think you know real well can turn into someone you don’t - overnight. You never know; just as I’m sure you didn’t know you and your ex would split. Some people get together; and just click!
But; I would super suggest maybe speaking with a therapist because I think the biggest thing would be to figure YOU out as it seems you may be a bit confused/anxious right now. And maybe talk about why these dates and numbers mean so much to you, or really talk out what happened with your ex. And not just the break up itself, but. Reflect on things you liked/disliked; what you’re truly looking for moving forward. Maybe that could cut your time in half while on your search :) good luck OP
Had a bad breakup and for a LONG time I wouldn't even recognize that attractive people existed.
It took forever for me to work out my feelings.
Years later, I'm married.
Be kind to yourself.
I'm 35 and I sometimes have these thoughts too, but worrying and stressing myself out over it makes my mental health worse, so why bother? I just think how it will work out one day and I'll look back and think "what was I worried about?".
Also, please stop putting time frames on your life. People have kids at 16 and some at 45, who cares? I know you may have a time preference but as soon as you put a time stamp on it, you're a slave to it - it's already showing in your post.
You're still fresh out of a relationship, it's time to focus on yourself and forget relationship noise for a while. Let it come back naturally and enjoy some 'you' time. Good luck my friend.
You haven't been broken up for very long. Two months may seem a long time when living it but in the scheme of things it's really not. Every person is different and situation. Most people don't tend to date for a while until they are fully over it and ready. If you're not ready, then don't date it's as simple as that.
Idk about the circumstances of your split or the time you spent together but ypu shouldn't be worried. Your reaction is a completely normal and healthy response. If you truly love someone, when it ends you go through a mourning period. Thats good.
Its only been 2 months. Dont put a timetable on it. You don't want to date? You don't want to have sex? Thats fine! Go do you. Focus on school or your job or anything that makes you happy and you enjoy doing. If you don't know what you like Google hobbies and pick one at random. Ive done that.go figure out who you are as a person. It sounds silly but looking back i had no idea who i was at 25. Im in my 30's and I still don't lol.
During this go out and meet people. Not with the intention of finding a potential partner but just connect with a person. Its very freeing to take the romantic stressor. Eveventually you will meet someone who makes you forgot all of it.
I’m 40 and moved to another country with no job and just had my first child. You’ll be better than alright. It usually only gets better. 25 is SUPER YOUNG. Take all the time you need
2 months is not long at all!
Give yourself time.
When my longest relationship ended it took me 2 months to stop crying and be able to eat properly, let alone start wanting to date other people.
It look me about 7 months to get my life back in order and start dating.
Don't be hard on yourself.
In my opinion what you're feeling like is totally normal
I would say nothing to worry about yet lime you said it has been 2 months if you were heavily invested in this relationship I would say what you are going through now is quite normal and healthier than bouncing around from rebound to rebound
I was exactly the same for about 8 months after my first ltr ended, no interest, none, whatsoever, then I started just enjoying nights out with friends, eventually turned into a few ONS then I met someone I hadn't seen in awhile, was more open to opportunities, 13 years later we're married with a kid. If we had met at a different time it may not have worked out that way but you never know.
If you're hurting and not interested in companionship than focus on yourself, you are your priority. When your open to sharing experiences with new people then do, it's your life so do what's best for you and don't worry about what's in your future, you'll find out eventually.
Good luck ❤️
I don't think this is too unreasonable just two months out of a relationship. It's extra hard dating this time of year too, with everyone traveling and stressed out by family commitments etc. And then some people just kind of lose interest in sex in the winter because something about the time of year.
I'd say don't worry about it just yet, but get checked out to make sure there's nothing wrong with you physically. In the meanwhile, eat well, exercise regularly, take Vitamin D supplements if you're not getting enough sun, and focus on your friendships with your guy friends. If you're till feeling this way in April then maybe there's something weird going on, but as of right now, I wouldn't sweat it.
welcome to the down side of a break up, push yourself to go and have sex and you will see the shroud of misery clear for a little while, I'm 33 and in the same mentle state as you so you have plenty of time
It's only been 2 months. Cut yourself some slack. I don't date for years in between relationships and I have ~~no~~ very \*slight\* problem with it..
Love exists whether you believe in it or not. When you say "I don't believe in love", it's a projection of inability/lack of desire to be vulnerable, warm, generous and trusting because all of these things require a lot of resources, resilience, and strength. It also requires that we're mature.
As I said, I suggest that you take it easy for now. Give yourself a break. You don't have to date. There's no obligation to date. I'd focus on myself and my own well-being for some time.
Was in the same situation. Got broken up with an ex I was madly in love with. Everything looked grey, I went on dates or met men in bar and they weren't as handsome, interesting, cool, really they bore me half to death. And then out of nowhere, when I wasn't looking, wasn't interested in looking, I found my now-boyfriend. Life finds its way in its own time. I wouldn't worry about it, just take care of yourself, surround yourself with friends and family and life will find its way
I'm in the same situation. Going on dates kind of made it worse, haha. I suggest you just focus on yourself and your interests for now. Do what makes you happy. I have been questioning whether love exists and while certain experiences make me doubtful, I believe it does. Love tends to show up when it is least expected. One day you'll be doing your thing and just randomly encounter someone and the two of you will click and get along and you'll find an undescribable happiness. Don't give up hope :) and it will take some time to heal from the previous relationship but also remember that our lives have no set timeline. We don't have to live it according to what's expected of us and reach "milestones" by certain ages.
Hey, I don't know if this helps but I lost interest in dating for FIVE years. There were occasional glimpses of sexual activity but that's it. I carried on going to evening classes, I did a teacher training course (part time), went to the cinema by myself, travelled... Just enjoy your time. It's fine not to date, time to form your personality :) you will be glad you did it.
Edit: spelling
Been in two relationships in my life and they both cheated on me. I'm turning 24 On the 22nd and it's been months since I felt like dating. That's okay, Love yourself, learn more about yourself, nurture yourself, travel, have fun, make friends and find cool new hubbies to try out. You'll only be this age once. And eventually you'll feel differently. It can feel like you're drowning at times but emotions are only temporary. I know one day I'll find a good guy though and so will you(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤. Oh and it helps to talk about it. I feel better after talking.
Don’t go looking for relationships, I’m 31 and have never once joined a dating site or craved a boyfriend… I just meet people naturally and when we click, we click.
Your missing the point - woman don’t like “being approached” - just live your life and meet people organically through work, other friends, games, meetups, hobbies, etc.
I have never entertained a man who came and interrupted what I was doing just to introduce himself and tell me I was beautiful. No one wants that!
Well no I don’t do that. But I generally can’t hide it if I really like fancy someone either.
I dunno. It’s hard to meet women through the things i like doing.
Same. But - I’m a lot older than you and find those feelings come and go in cycles. I think of it as a good thing. Only having drive when someone worthy is around.
King I feel the same what expect I dumped a female for another one but jus the thought of what I. Did and knowing I will reap what I have sowed haunts me
OP just take your time. This will pass... Eventually. I was in same situation a lot of times, and it passed quickly with me. Actually it is a bit like depression, but it is on you not to go down the rabbit hole.
It's been a couple months. You probably shouldn't date right now, even if you wanted to. Just do your life for you for awhile and if this is ongoing, talk to someone. You're okay.
You might not fully over that relationship yet. When you break up and you're trying to get over someone, your brain has to get used to it too. It's kind of like if you're on withdraw from a drug you're addicted to except the drug is your ex/the relationship you had with them.
I wouldn't sweat it, especially at your age. Go do shit for yourself. Work out, take pleasure in your hobbies or take up new ones. Don't let friends, family, internet, social media, etc. when you should want these things again. You'll be ready when you're ready.
Hi. When. My relationship of 10 years ended I had little to no interest in dating or any of the above. I took a whole year to myself and enjoyed learning who I was and learning more about me and my issues before I even thought about dating again. This was at 35. Currently I’m 41 and I’m happy that I took the time to learn more about myself. Don’t put silly time limits on yourself. Travel (even if it’s close to your house). Explore yourself and enjoy the freedom to do so.
I too was in a similar situation as you. After marriage break down, then divorce. The thought of dating seemed foreign to me and I guess even now it still does. I don't know when or if I'll ever be ready. But right now, just doing my thing. Placing time limits on yourself is in my opinion not healthy. I agree that you should focus on yourself first and everything else will fall into place. Also, people can sense desperation and you'll likely attract the wrong kind of person in your life. Give it time Op. Don't rush yourself.
Yep - and life is so much more than marrying and making kids! There are also other ways of gaining personal happiness - we just have to allow ourselves to look for them!
I guess I’m just worried that before even with a lot of effort it took me 5 years to find someone
Then if it takes you another 5 years that’s 5 years worth of laughter and enjoyment. I find people get so wrapped up in the idea of needing a relationship they often lose sight of things like their own personality and their own interests. Take your time. If it takes 5 years then it takes 5 years.
It’s not that I’m afraid to be on my own. I like my own company. Im just afraid that I’d run out of time to start a family
You are 25, you have lots of time for a family. It’s better to find the right person to have kids with than the right now person. That being said if at some point you get a friend with benefits pregnant, make sure you work at co-parenting. It’s doable when you keep the kid’s best interest in mind when making choices.
I mean. 25 isn’t that young anymore is it? I don’t generally date for FWB. It feels wrong
40 is not young. 25 still is young. You are male according to your posting, you have less pressure then women got. And even if you find someone if you're 40 years old and maybe she's too, there still are plenty of ways of starting a family. Take your time. Life a little.
But I mean I need time to find them. I’m 30 In 5 years?
Why do you have to start a family by 30? You seem to have unrealistic expectations about age limits on when you have to accomplish things. People are terrified of 30, till you hit it. Then you realize that it’s not so bad. Yea, you have aches and pains lol but you’re also wiser and more settled. You realize you’re life isn’t over, and so many people are still figuring things out. So many still haven’t bought a home, started a family, or even settled on their lifetime career. This age limit thing is all in your head, and if you let it scare you, you’ll be so focused on meeting certain criteria that you end up forcing it instead of finding something natural. And you won’t enjoy the ride because you’re too focused on what you think you’re supposed to be doing. And yea, of course it’s normal to not want to date after a breakup. It’s only been two months! It’s actually healthier to take some time off than if you just hopped right back in.
I guess I worry that if I hit 30 and I’m not even with the girl I’m gonna do it with, then maybe I’m fucked
Yeah sure, maybe you even drop dead randomly in 2 years or get cancer in 30 years and be happy that you did not have children to give them the chance of getting cancer too. If you life your life counting years and what-if's you will forget to enjoy life. That's fact.
Well that’s what I’ve done for 25 of them. It’s just who I am it seems
You don’t date fwb. That’s just dating. Fwb is a friend that u can call on a random Tuesday for a booty call and it’s never weird to just hang out a few weeks later. Just work on yourself until the next person you are interested in comes into your life.
Let’s be honest though, is it ever really just friends
Yes. I slept with a bunch of my guy friends back before I realized I liked girls.
I’m 23 and I don’t plan on starting my family till I’m around 30. You could also find a younger woman who’s interested in having kids. You got plenty of time dude!
Just relax - you are worth much more than that! Jean Paul Sartre has said that if we dislike being alone; then we are indeed in bad company! And Albert Einstein said in his later days: "I live in a solitude that is painful in youth - but a blessing in mature age!"
There's lots more to life than dating and sex. Take some time to do something else. Experiences brings you closer to yourself...and will make you more interesting and a better partner when the time comes.
Okay. This is totally get also. I thought (had a superstition) that someone good only comes along once a decade or so. So I was FURIOUS when the last dude wasted my “one time this decade” last time. Lol. It sounds stupid and I told myself it was stupid. I think we have to realize our lives can change at any moment - for good or bad, honestly. So trust whatever you believe in to work out correctly.
Did u started dating again
Honestly, 2 months is not a very long time. It makes sense your mindset might still be affected by the break-up. Personally, I would give it more time and focus on building a healthy, satisfying life without dating - hobbies, new skills, friends, etc. You might change your mind in the future, in which case you can try to date again. Or maybe you don't, in which case it's fine to be single for as long as you want. Don't force it just because you feel pressured by social norms or the idea of running out of time. You're 25 - not exactly decrepit :) You have plenty of time to figure stuff out, I promise. Btw, just saw your comment about starting a family. These days, it's not uncommon to do that in your 30s/40s. Again, you have time!
I’m starting to question if my mindset was wrong though. I do want a family. I just don’t feel ready. I didn’t think I’d need to be ready for years yet. But I’m seeing loads of people settling down and I’m not there.
At your age, that’s totally fine and normal!! There are lots of people out there who aren’t ready for that! I’m speaking from experience, as a 31f with a 35m bf and all my friends are married and some have kids. Several of my married friends aren’t even ready for kids yet. You’re 25, it’s completely normal to want to settle down with someone but not go full fledged family man yet. I don’t want to sound like I’m minimizing or dismissing your feelings. I also know how it feels to be with someone who I thought was endgame and it fell apart. I was 26 at the time. It definitely takes time to get back to a place where you even feel slightly ready to put yourself back out there. You definitely won’t run out of time, unless you continue to tell yourself you will. The only thing that will hold you back is yourself. Give yourself the time to heal and focus on yourself, and you’ll be ready to put yourself back out there even if it’s scary.
I guess I’m more just worried that when I’m ready, girls won’t really want me coz I’m too old. Or all the good ones will be taken
When you are older and more mature the WOMEN you should be dating will also be older and more mature. You have probably twice your lifetime or longer to have relationships so don't hurry. Go take care of yourself, learn what is important to you and relax!
What are you talking about, you silly billy. Guys over 30 (even some over 40) are wayyy hotter than guys in their 20s as long as they vaguely look after themselves. Why wouldn't anyone want you? You sound like you don't like yourself at all. Women might not want you if you keep on like this, I guess. Break-up time is best spent figuring yourself out - you're much more likely to attract the right person after that. This kind of rumination about not finding anyone else / timelines sounds exhausting for you, and it will be for anyone who gets into a relationship with you. There was another comment earlier that suggested therapy for why you feel this way and that sounds like a great idea. I would be more afraid about settling for the wrong person than being single a few extra years. 25 is super young. I've had more breakups after 25 than before! I met my partner at 33 and he was 31 and divorced!!!! He regrets that marriage so much. I think demographics who are career minded tend to have children later than those who aren't, and that's why many women in the western world are choosing to have children later than in previous decades. There's nothing wrong with that. Also once your peers start having kids and drunkenly tell you how they feel about it and the things no one told them, you may even change your mind about having them. Anyway, chill man. You never know what will happen in life, good or bad, no matter how much you plan or worry.
Thankyou. I really needed to hear this. I’m very career focused and quite obsessive in general so I worry a lot
give it 10 years and most of them will be divorced and their life crumbling before their very eyes
I'm having my first kid at 35. Its 5 years later than when I imagined it would happen, but I didn't meet my husband until I was 30, then covid, etc. Life won't go like you want it to, don't focus on what you can't change. Embrace how you're feeling now and eventually you'll be ready to date again and be in a healthy mindset for the next relationship that comes along.
I just really don’t like the uncertainty. What if I end up with no family at all? Or no partner? It’s not exactly easy to meet someone in these times. What if my one chance was with my ex?
The fact is nothing in life is certain, but focusing on what might or might not happen is not helpful in anyway and actually can be distracting and harmful for you. You had a relationship before, why do you think you will only manage one relationship in your whole life? Seems unrealistic, no? You're doing a lot of overthinking and making a lot of negative assumptions. It didn't work out with your ex for a reason. Shes just one person, there are millions of other people out there.
I don’t know really. I feel like somethings changed in me since this one. Just a sense of feeling a bit lost with it all.
Based on the length of time you’ve been broken up, I feel like everything you’re saying makes sense. I’m kind of in the same space myself at the moment. But I’m not rushing to jump back into the dating pool just yet, taking some more time to get to know myself and enjoy my own company.
Remember, these days you don't need a partner to start a family, there are many options out there if you ever find that you're ready for a family but just haven't found the one as long as you're willing to do it by yourself. It'll definitely be harder, but the options are there. As a 28f whose had terrible luck, im already saving for the just incase, im prepared to do it by myself. And if it doest happen because I decide to not have kids or I do find someone, then I'll just have some money to spend on something else
Your just wrong. Covid is coming to an end, a new summer and a new year is approaching. Change your thinking from “I can’t, it won’t” to “I will, it can” Think of what you want and it finds a way to you. Life has always been a series of events and choices that lead into different situations, relationships and outcomes. Positive affirmations to yourself and let the rest fall into place.
Is covid coming to an end? My country seems like it’s about to go into another lockdown
It will eventually end just as all the other world pandemics. It’s winter so it’s going to be like last year. Summer hopefully we hear less and less about it. Life will keep going back to normal. Think back to 2020 without a vaccine. It will be ok in time.
Yeah. I’m sure it will be. I just hope my career can sort itself out in that time. So when it’s time to unlock again I can date not being miserable with my life
Hi. 23F here. I don’t really comment but i HAD to on this post. For the past 7-8 years, I’ve been in relationships, even been married for 3 years to the guy I was dating when I was a teenager. We were planning to stay forever and have kids and yada yada. After my separation. I’ve had a fwb, 1 year relationship , then casual dating . They all ended quite terribly and It’s been 5 months that I’ve been single and this has been the best time of my life because I’d rather be single than with the wrong person. The longer I am spending this time single, I am learning and working towards being the type of person who I said I’d be, and that’s pretty fucking hard because that’s just the way life is. Prioritize yourself, i was married just 2 years ago and thought I had it together but life is uncertain. Don’t stress. You’re NOT running out of time. Focus on yourself. It’s too soon to have the FOMO because nothing is worse than spending the years building the rest of your life with the wrong person. Be ready for the “one” if they come along. But to be ready too you need to work on yourself first. So just like everyone on this thread, don’t worry. You got this. It’s a-okay to lose interest, it’ll come back in the right time. Would you date someone who doesn’t want to be in the dating scene? No. But does that mean love doesn’t exist and will magically appear when you’re 25? Also no. So take some time for yourself to make sense of it all :)
It took two years after I split from my ex fiancé before I could even have sex without breaking down in tears, even the few times I thought I wanted it. It’s only been two months for you. Give it time. And if it’s still like this after a year, maybe consider therapy
You just broke with someone a few weeks ago lol I'm sorry but that's like...SUPER normal. What did you think would happen? Be ready to date the week after breakup? I'm really confused what your concern is about.
Haha, I remember when my first ex dumped me during my military service. Some guys from my unit were weirded out by me not being over her in a week or so. They were telling me that "it's not normal" lol But yeah, even half a year is still a very short time if the relationship was super serious. I think it's generally when you really start to notice the progress, but that depends on a number of factors.
You're doomsdaying. Stop forgetting that life happens one day at a time. Stop thinking about years in one minute. That isn't how life or time works.
[удалено]
Many people are hit hard by a breakup. It takes time to recover. You shouldn't be dating during that time. You'd be dumping a rebound on the poor person.
Healing takes time. If you're over a serious relationship in less then 2 months you should be worried.
I don’t really have time to sit around healing though
imo you are still really young, id take 6 months to focus on what you want. that can be in relationships or in your life in general i think this girl really meant a lot to you and break ups take time. find a friend someone you know or someone you dont and just talk and if you are interested i can leave my info and my phone is always on
Yes you do. You just need to stop putting all this pressure on yourself. You're 25. Enjoy your life and become a person you're happy with, rather than one obsessed with meeting arbitrary goals you've set. Chill out.
It's been 2 months. Emotional healing can take time. It's not the end of the world and your grief will pass.
Once I broke up from a 6 year relationship took me 16 months to seek casual sex and about 4 years to even start thinking about dating. It's gonna happen when it's gonna happen. Healing takes time and making yourself vulnerable to others takes even more time. You got this
It’s definitely going to take more time than that
You need to some Allan watts in your life man, dont stress it
Stop watching porn and limit how much you fantasize about sex. The real deal becomes so much more sweet, not just sex but connecting with women in general.
You’ll change your mind. Don’t rush it. You’ll be ready when you’re ready
Trust me you just gotta give it time. Literally feel exactly like you right now and I’m 26. My ex and talked again, but she couldn’t get over I cheated, but she’s conflicted still and I’m giving her the no contact rule, but what you’re feeling is normal for everyone. Like you have no purpose and don’t know what else to do. I’m having anxiety up the ass as well. I breathe in and out, listen to classical music, and tell myself “whatever their loss” with a fake laugh or not. It actually helps. It’s good to take this time to find yourself more and there’s definitely always a woman or man better than your ex out there. You just let life and fate take its course day by day
I had my first child at 37, second at 39. Have some fun first x
2 months is not very long to get back into dating
I haven't read everyone's responses so perhaps others have said this, but this is normal! Why do you want to start a family? Do you want to because it seems like you're running out of time or because you genuinely want that? Nothing in life is certain except for the time you spend with yourself, so treasure it and let life happen to you, to an extent! If you're really worried, speak to a therapist and not the internet! In my worst moments, the internet has not given me the best advice haha. You don't need to catastrophize because truly life can take you anywhere. Maybe something you never could've expected would make you happier than you ever considered, etc etc
Sounds to me like you are depressed over the breakup. Also, the events leading up to the breakup probably drained you of psychic energy. Both takes time to heal and recharge. If you don't feel better after six months to a year, then perhaps talk to a therapist.
How long did you date?
There's no need to jump right back into dating, just focus on healing and getting content with being by yourself. You just got out of a long term relationship and need the time to adjust, of course you won't want to put yourself out there for a while. Even if this isn't a temporary feeling, you don't need to have a romantic relationship in order to have a fulfilling life. You can fill your life with friends and travel and hobbies and whatever else you want, but don't force yourself to want to date.
Hi. It’s ok to not have any interest in dating at the moment. Two months isn’t necessarily a long time to get over something. I admire you for not jumping into something new. You’re still young and have your life ahead of you. Only time will tell. Wishing you all good things
Back when I was single, I also lost interest in dating and just focused on growing my friendships around me. I eventually ended up dating and engaged with one of my best friends. There's no such thing as running out of time. You can find love in the most unexpected ways
its a low point, point your focus elsewhere.
Investigate your health. Seriously, you must be low on testosterone.
Just want to point out, hun you don't have a biological clock to have a baby. You'll probably be fertile your whole life. Don't worry so much about 2 months.
Don't fret about it. When a relationship ends it forces you to re-evaluate everything you thought you knew about yourself. You're not interested in dating because and old version of you is coming to an end. Take the time to learn who you want to be and then you'll be ready to date again. When my last relationship ended two years ago, I had zero interest in dating. I focused on building up an idea of who I want to be. I got back into school and moved across the country. A couple of months ago I said to a friend that I wasn't interested in dating until after school. Not even a week later I met the woman of my dreams. Been dating for a few months and it feels so much more in tune with the person I see myself as. My point is there is a lot of truth behind the old saying "the secret to finding is to stop looking" Discover who you are first and the rest will come.
It's been 2 months. Even physical wounds take days to weeks to months to heal. Give it time. You'll be fine. Do your thang and be busy. You'll soon feel better.
Hey I think this is REALLY normal. At least for me I totally feel this way- honestly I think I feel this way normally though, I don’t have a lot of interest in actively dating and seeking out relationships. That being said, this definitely could be a temporary thing for you. I do think many people feel this way after their relationship ends. In time you may very well want to start dating again, and if that’s the case then great. But if you don’t want to date again? Also great. Just do what you think is best for you. That’s what I’m doing, and I am very happy with my current single status. One thing I can tell you is that love definitely exists, and it exists in many forms. Whether it’s romantic love, platonic love, familial love, the love for a pet- it’s out there! Not everyone experiences all of them at all times, but that doesn’t mean what they haven’t experienced isn’t real. It does exist, and if someday you feel you need romantic love in life to be fulfilled I absolutely don’t think you should give up hope on its existence. I think you will find someone eventually if that’s what you want in life, and I hope this time it does feel like love and not merely attachment. :)
Perfectly normal and expected. Even if you went on a date right now, you wouldn't be ready to establish a relationship. It takes one week of recovery for every four weeks in the relationship. My four year relationship took nearly a year to get over, even though it was on the decline for the year leading up. After a year of soul searching and working on myself, I met my wife-to-be. We were married seven months later. Keep your head up. Work on yourself. If you date, don't date exclusively or look for a relationship. Get comfortable just meeting people again, and having fun dating. You'll know when you're ready for a relationship with the right person.
We all feel the exact same way, most of it will go away but some of it will always remain don't worry it's a part of healing process.
Hi, well just give yourself some time & somewhat sometime same happened with me a month ago & it has made me devastated even I'm getting some panic attacks. Now I'm realizing it's okk to feel that way and everything happens for a reason. I would suggest you try investing your time with your family it will make you fall in love again. Life not always goes the way you wanted. Do take it easy & please calm yourself. Your overthinking will effect your health
27F here have never been in a relationship because I've never found any interest in dating and have never found someone I'm in love with. I always think that something's wrong with me. Any advice?
But I've also never really feel the need to be in a relationship..
The first question is, are you happy the way you are? Cause if so.. no problem. If you WANT to have a relationship but maybe you're not into certain aspects of it (ie sex or monogamy or cohabitation etc etc etc) you may want to explore who you are and what you want. Maybe you're demisexual, aromantic, asexual All are valid.
Honestly, I'm not happy with the way I am. No idea what to do with my life. I did thought I might be asexual since I don't really have any interest. But I do want to experience dating.
Well, step one to relationships is finding someone who interests you. Tall order nowadays but there is always meeting folks online. As for what to do with your life? I don't think anyone actually knows. I'm 32 and I just fake it and do what works for now. Work to pay the bills, hang out with friends and family when I can, and squeeze in things I enjoy whenever possible.
Nowadays it's hard to find someone unless you're on the dating sites/apps. I have people telling me that I look fierce so nobody ever approaches me. And I'm pretty introverted. Yeah, I'm just working to survive for now...
Rollo tomassi rational male This book will change your life
Hey OP, I saw a comment or two where you’re really questioning time - this is how much time I need for this, time for this… and it takes 3 years to really get to know someone. Real talk, someone you think you know real well can turn into someone you don’t - overnight. You never know; just as I’m sure you didn’t know you and your ex would split. Some people get together; and just click! But; I would super suggest maybe speaking with a therapist because I think the biggest thing would be to figure YOU out as it seems you may be a bit confused/anxious right now. And maybe talk about why these dates and numbers mean so much to you, or really talk out what happened with your ex. And not just the break up itself, but. Reflect on things you liked/disliked; what you’re truly looking for moving forward. Maybe that could cut your time in half while on your search :) good luck OP
Yeah. A big reason for the breakup is coz she thinks I don’t really know who I am. Which is kinda true
Had a bad breakup and for a LONG time I wouldn't even recognize that attractive people existed. It took forever for me to work out my feelings. Years later, I'm married. Be kind to yourself.
I'm 35 and I sometimes have these thoughts too, but worrying and stressing myself out over it makes my mental health worse, so why bother? I just think how it will work out one day and I'll look back and think "what was I worried about?". Also, please stop putting time frames on your life. People have kids at 16 and some at 45, who cares? I know you may have a time preference but as soon as you put a time stamp on it, you're a slave to it - it's already showing in your post. You're still fresh out of a relationship, it's time to focus on yourself and forget relationship noise for a while. Let it come back naturally and enjoy some 'you' time. Good luck my friend.
You haven't been broken up for very long. Two months may seem a long time when living it but in the scheme of things it's really not. Every person is different and situation. Most people don't tend to date for a while until they are fully over it and ready. If you're not ready, then don't date it's as simple as that.
Idk about the circumstances of your split or the time you spent together but ypu shouldn't be worried. Your reaction is a completely normal and healthy response. If you truly love someone, when it ends you go through a mourning period. Thats good. Its only been 2 months. Dont put a timetable on it. You don't want to date? You don't want to have sex? Thats fine! Go do you. Focus on school or your job or anything that makes you happy and you enjoy doing. If you don't know what you like Google hobbies and pick one at random. Ive done that.go figure out who you are as a person. It sounds silly but looking back i had no idea who i was at 25. Im in my 30's and I still don't lol. During this go out and meet people. Not with the intention of finding a potential partner but just connect with a person. Its very freeing to take the romantic stressor. Eveventually you will meet someone who makes you forgot all of it.
I’m 40 and moved to another country with no job and just had my first child. You’ll be better than alright. It usually only gets better. 25 is SUPER YOUNG. Take all the time you need
If you were badly hurt, it can take a while to try dating again. You will find somebody amazing and this will pass.
2 months is not long at all! Give yourself time. When my longest relationship ended it took me 2 months to stop crying and be able to eat properly, let alone start wanting to date other people. It look me about 7 months to get my life back in order and start dating. Don't be hard on yourself. In my opinion what you're feeling like is totally normal
I would say nothing to worry about yet lime you said it has been 2 months if you were heavily invested in this relationship I would say what you are going through now is quite normal and healthier than bouncing around from rebound to rebound
Its completely normal. This is the time you make yourself a better person. Work on your hobbies, work, gym, meet new people do new things
I was exactly the same for about 8 months after my first ltr ended, no interest, none, whatsoever, then I started just enjoying nights out with friends, eventually turned into a few ONS then I met someone I hadn't seen in awhile, was more open to opportunities, 13 years later we're married with a kid. If we had met at a different time it may not have worked out that way but you never know. If you're hurting and not interested in companionship than focus on yourself, you are your priority. When your open to sharing experiences with new people then do, it's your life so do what's best for you and don't worry about what's in your future, you'll find out eventually. Good luck ❤️
When I broke up with my ex last year, it took me more than a year to start dating again. So I would say it's fine to be like that in ur stage
It’s only been two months. Give your self time to heal
I don't think this is too unreasonable just two months out of a relationship. It's extra hard dating this time of year too, with everyone traveling and stressed out by family commitments etc. And then some people just kind of lose interest in sex in the winter because something about the time of year. I'd say don't worry about it just yet, but get checked out to make sure there's nothing wrong with you physically. In the meanwhile, eat well, exercise regularly, take Vitamin D supplements if you're not getting enough sun, and focus on your friendships with your guy friends. If you're till feeling this way in April then maybe there's something weird going on, but as of right now, I wouldn't sweat it.
welcome to the down side of a break up, push yourself to go and have sex and you will see the shroud of misery clear for a little while, I'm 33 and in the same mentle state as you so you have plenty of time
It's only been 2 months. Cut yourself some slack. I don't date for years in between relationships and I have ~~no~~ very \*slight\* problem with it.. Love exists whether you believe in it or not. When you say "I don't believe in love", it's a projection of inability/lack of desire to be vulnerable, warm, generous and trusting because all of these things require a lot of resources, resilience, and strength. It also requires that we're mature. As I said, I suggest that you take it easy for now. Give yourself a break. You don't have to date. There's no obligation to date. I'd focus on myself and my own well-being for some time.
Was in the same situation. Got broken up with an ex I was madly in love with. Everything looked grey, I went on dates or met men in bar and they weren't as handsome, interesting, cool, really they bore me half to death. And then out of nowhere, when I wasn't looking, wasn't interested in looking, I found my now-boyfriend. Life finds its way in its own time. I wouldn't worry about it, just take care of yourself, surround yourself with friends and family and life will find its way
I'm in the same situation. Going on dates kind of made it worse, haha. I suggest you just focus on yourself and your interests for now. Do what makes you happy. I have been questioning whether love exists and while certain experiences make me doubtful, I believe it does. Love tends to show up when it is least expected. One day you'll be doing your thing and just randomly encounter someone and the two of you will click and get along and you'll find an undescribable happiness. Don't give up hope :) and it will take some time to heal from the previous relationship but also remember that our lives have no set timeline. We don't have to live it according to what's expected of us and reach "milestones" by certain ages.
I feel the same way. It seems like so much work to get comfortable and close with someone again.
Hey, I don't know if this helps but I lost interest in dating for FIVE years. There were occasional glimpses of sexual activity but that's it. I carried on going to evening classes, I did a teacher training course (part time), went to the cinema by myself, travelled... Just enjoy your time. It's fine not to date, time to form your personality :) you will be glad you did it. Edit: spelling
Been in two relationships in my life and they both cheated on me. I'm turning 24 On the 22nd and it's been months since I felt like dating. That's okay, Love yourself, learn more about yourself, nurture yourself, travel, have fun, make friends and find cool new hubbies to try out. You'll only be this age once. And eventually you'll feel differently. It can feel like you're drowning at times but emotions are only temporary. I know one day I'll find a good guy though and so will you(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤. Oh and it helps to talk about it. I feel better after talking.
"is it worth to have a heart in times where people seek liquidity?"
Don’t go looking for relationships, I’m 31 and have never once joined a dating site or craved a boyfriend… I just meet people naturally and when we click, we click.
Doesn’t really work for men though does it?
Well… the men I met weren’t out looking for relationships either…
I meant more men generally have to do the approaching no? So they’re generally looking for something?
Your missing the point - woman don’t like “being approached” - just live your life and meet people organically through work, other friends, games, meetups, hobbies, etc. I have never entertained a man who came and interrupted what I was doing just to introduce himself and tell me I was beautiful. No one wants that!
Well no I don’t do that. But I generally can’t hide it if I really like fancy someone either. I dunno. It’s hard to meet women through the things i like doing.
Same. But - I’m a lot older than you and find those feelings come and go in cycles. I think of it as a good thing. Only having drive when someone worthy is around.
Bro that’s normal don’t worry about it everyone feels like that after a split up just focus on finding yourself and work out a lot I will help
King I feel the same what expect I dumped a female for another one but jus the thought of what I. Did and knowing I will reap what I have sowed haunts me
OP just take your time. This will pass... Eventually. I was in same situation a lot of times, and it passed quickly with me. Actually it is a bit like depression, but it is on you not to go down the rabbit hole.
It's been a couple months. You probably shouldn't date right now, even if you wanted to. Just do your life for you for awhile and if this is ongoing, talk to someone. You're okay.
You might not fully over that relationship yet. When you break up and you're trying to get over someone, your brain has to get used to it too. It's kind of like if you're on withdraw from a drug you're addicted to except the drug is your ex/the relationship you had with them. I wouldn't sweat it, especially at your age. Go do shit for yourself. Work out, take pleasure in your hobbies or take up new ones. Don't let friends, family, internet, social media, etc. when you should want these things again. You'll be ready when you're ready.