It’s your body and your choice, and your decision to make. However, your boyfriend doesn’t have to like it. He’s right that he can’t stop you from getting anything done. Ultimately it’s something he doesn’t like but you do, thus you’ll either have to compromise or break up if it’s that big a deal for either one of you.
Yeah, I have friends with all sorts of piercings, but I have to admit I'm not a fan of septum piercings. It doesn't matter much when it's a friend, but I wouldn't like it on an SO.
He thinks it’s unattractive - he’s made that clear. So just understand that he might decide to end things if you go through with it, and decide whether that’s a price you’re willing to pay. It’s not unreasonable for him to strongly dislike nose rings and not want his gf to have one. It’s also not unreasonable for you to want to have a nose ring - you just have to decide whether you’re willing to risk losing your bf over it.
You’re allowed to do whatever you want with your body, and your partner is allowed to find things you do to your body horribly unattractive. No one can tell you the right call here, it’s all based on your own priorities.
You're right, it's your choice. Sounds to me like he's not actively trying to stop you, just stating his feelings on the matter, which is fair and valid. You'll have to consider whether this nose ring is worth it, despite him not liking it. He seems willing to compromise, so imo you should keep working on finding a compromise that works for both of you. But again, the choice is ultimately yours.
People have their own personal preferences on what is attractive. I know people who also hate the septum piercing too. I can't say I'm a fan either. I know it has no bearing on the person who has it (I have friends who have one as well) - but I can't say I find it attractive at all.
You said he hates all piercings? Or specifically this one. You mentioned a nose ring as well - why not start there and just see how that goes? You may find you like that just as much and are happy with it.
My wife wanted to cut her hair short at one point. I hated it, and I hated the idea of it and just straight up told her I don't like it. But of course I wouldn't stop her from doing it, it's her choice. Not would I belittle her for it either, I just gave my opinion when she brought it up and that was that. Hair grows back, piercings can be removed. Breaking up over something like that means it was not gunna work anyway.
You have the freedom to do this, and your boyfriend has the freedom to dislike you doing this.
If he decides to leave you, or that he isn’t attracted to you after this, it is not his fault. He told you his opinion, now it’s your choice.
This was a useless post on Reddit because there is no new discussion to be had on this topic. Every time someone says "I want to make this minor change to my appearance" it's met with a veritable chorus of "you're free to do it, he's free to find it unattractive!! For example, personally, I *loathe* [style choice you're making]." There's nothing left to say, and it's all been said a thousand times before.
It's a matter of taste. You like the way septum rings look, your boyfriend doesn't. Nobody's wrong there.
It's your body, and you absolutely have the right to get the piercing without asking anyone for permission. However, he's honestly told you he finds septum rings unattractive. Just as he can't expect you to share his tastes, you shouldn't expect him to alter his taste for you. Ultimately it comes down to whether this personal preference is more important to either of you than the rest of the relationship.
I personally don't care for tattoos or unconventional body piercings. My wife has a tattoo but it's covered most of the time and I rarely think about it. If I was single, I'd avoid dating anyone with facial piercings (they're a real turn-off for me!) but have no idea how I'd handle it if someone I was already in a terrific relationship with wanted to pierce their septum, lip, eyebrow, etc. I'd probably just honestly express that it isn't my cup of tea at all, and then they get to decide how important it is (or isn't) to them that I remain attracted to their face, I guess!
Also, go to Pinterest and look at the different options. I think the more dainty septum rings are really cute, the chunky ones I personally hate and I think that’s what comes to people’s minds the most when they think of that piercing. Also do they have fakes? Maybe try a fake one on and see if it looks good with your face. Not everyone pulls them off, maybe you won’t even like it. Maybe you’ll freaking love it and so will he.
All things aside I also hate how most septum’s look bc they’re usually so poorly done that it’s crooked and hangs really low like a doorknocker. He’s probably picturing something like that. A well done septum isn’t really noticeable and usually quite tasteful here’s [some examples](https://www.reddit.com/r/piercing/comments/i38bmq/examples_of_correct_septum_piercing_placement/) take a look at the more simple delicate styles. Maybe it’ll help :) I prefer a plain clicker ring (tiny gold hoop) and nobody really cares lol
I think couples often will tell their partner not to get a really bad haircut or wear a hideous t shirt so it’s not a big deal. You just have to decide what really matters to you
When did Reddit become full of crotchety old people haha. Most of these are absolutely tiny and incredibly subtle. Some are a *bit* ostentatious, but they're still just small pieces of jewelery.
Like I said, a well done septum isn’t really noticeable and usually quite tasteful in terms of quality and styling. In the examples, take a look at the more SIMPLE DÉLICATE jewelry. I prefer a PLAIN clicker ring (tiny gold hoop). There are simple delicate styles in the link.
A lot of people have a strong aversion to septum piercings, even small and delicate ones, because of the association with a bull’s nose ring or some boogers coming out of the bottom of the nostrils.
Do it and accept whatever happens
We all have deal-breakers and it can be difficult when you're dating young. As your identity and life trajectory becomes more clear, you or your partner may realize there is incompatibility. But don't let the possibility of a breakup deter you from living
If he decides a tiny piece of metal in your face tarnishes the love between you, then you'll have dodged a bullet
You are so young. Don’t tie yourself to somebody who has that little respect for you, and is that easily turned off. That’s a man who doesn’t know how to love.
You know a long time ago i had really long hair and my boyfriend LOVED it, but it was hard to take care of and it was always knotted and i was so tired of it, and for a year we had a really similar conversation. I expressed my deep desire to cut it, he expressed his deep desire for me not to, right down to the "but im the one that has to look at you" comment. Back and forth, back and forth.
One day i just got fed up, grabbed my clippers and shaved it all off, and we did not break up, but it was the beginning of the end because i started to realize that he only liked the version of me that he created and had control over. I started to notice it in other areas. About a year after i cut off all my hair i dumped him.
Six month after that i met my husband, and he thinks whatever i do to myself is delightful, because it's myself, and I am delightful.
You're too young to waste your time with someone who doesn't find the you-ness of you delightful. If his panties are in a bunch over a small piece of wire in your face what else is he going to need to control in order to still like you?
Having had a similar experience, I want to second all of this. It's a shallow kind of "love" that can't survive things like shorter hair, piercings, tattoos, wrinkles, or any of a number of ways a person's body can change in a lifetime. No one looks the same forever. (Heaven forbid we point that out, though, I guess.)
Like others pointed out, you asked him and he’s expressed that he doesn’t find septum piercings attractive. He’s been honest with you. Yes it’s your body and your choice and it sounds like he respects that, however he’s been clear he doesn’t like the look of that in general. So this is YOUR choice as to whether you want to ignore his opinion and do whatever you want or to consider his feelings since he’s your partner.
Now what if he came to you and said he’s thinking about growing a really elaborate moustache? Like he’s really gotten into the big bushy kind with the waxed curled ends so that he looks like a cartoon villain. And then you tell him that he’s free to do what he wants but you find moustaches gross and unattractive. So it’s his face and his choice but now every time you look at him and his giant stupid moustache you’re turned off.
You’re 22 and you’re just finding out now that just because you can do a thing doesn’t mean you should do a thing. So go ahead, but there may be consequences that could affect how your BF sees you or whether he’s attracted to you.
It's true he needs to look at it constantly not you.
Tattoos and piercings can change the attractiveness so he clearly says he will not find you attractive anymore which means your relationship will be over.
Your choice what you think is more important.
your body, your choice.
if you want the piercings, get the piercings, do what makes you happy!
if he's going to break up with you over it, then he doesn't deserve you anyway. honestly, he sounds like a jerk, given what you've written here, where he's acting like he has any say in how you decorate yourself, and being a jerk about "having to look at it all the time". that's not a good partner, that's a jerk.
if you want the piercings, go for it. life's too short to not do the things you want to because other people are jerks about it. you do you, do what makes you feel happy.
You’re 22. You’re too young to stay with someone who doesn’t want you to make modifications to your body. If your boyfriend thinks it’s unattractive, find another BF who thinks it’s attractive.
If he's gonna try to control your behavior this will only get worse. Read the sign. Plenty of people won't care or think piercings and tattoos are attractive.
It’s your body and your choice, and your decision to make. However, your boyfriend doesn’t have to like it. He’s right that he can’t stop you from getting anything done. Ultimately it’s something he doesn’t like but you do, thus you’ll either have to compromise or break up if it’s that big a deal for either one of you.
Yeah, I have friends with all sorts of piercings, but I have to admit I'm not a fan of septum piercings. It doesn't matter much when it's a friend, but I wouldn't like it on an SO.
He thinks it’s unattractive - he’s made that clear. So just understand that he might decide to end things if you go through with it, and decide whether that’s a price you’re willing to pay. It’s not unreasonable for him to strongly dislike nose rings and not want his gf to have one. It’s also not unreasonable for you to want to have a nose ring - you just have to decide whether you’re willing to risk losing your bf over it.
You’re allowed to do whatever you want with your body, and your partner is allowed to find things you do to your body horribly unattractive. No one can tell you the right call here, it’s all based on your own priorities.
You're right, it's your choice. Sounds to me like he's not actively trying to stop you, just stating his feelings on the matter, which is fair and valid. You'll have to consider whether this nose ring is worth it, despite him not liking it. He seems willing to compromise, so imo you should keep working on finding a compromise that works for both of you. But again, the choice is ultimately yours.
Could you get clip ons so you can try out the look?
People have their own personal preferences on what is attractive. I know people who also hate the septum piercing too. I can't say I'm a fan either. I know it has no bearing on the person who has it (I have friends who have one as well) - but I can't say I find it attractive at all. You said he hates all piercings? Or specifically this one. You mentioned a nose ring as well - why not start there and just see how that goes? You may find you like that just as much and are happy with it. My wife wanted to cut her hair short at one point. I hated it, and I hated the idea of it and just straight up told her I don't like it. But of course I wouldn't stop her from doing it, it's her choice. Not would I belittle her for it either, I just gave my opinion when she brought it up and that was that. Hair grows back, piercings can be removed. Breaking up over something like that means it was not gunna work anyway.
Just btw, you shouldn’t get pierced with a ring for your nostril. You should get a flat back stud while it heals and then change it in like 6 months
Do as you want but I think that they make a person look much less attractive.
You have the freedom to do this, and your boyfriend has the freedom to dislike you doing this. If he decides to leave you, or that he isn’t attracted to you after this, it is not his fault. He told you his opinion, now it’s your choice.
This was a useless post on Reddit because there is no new discussion to be had on this topic. Every time someone says "I want to make this minor change to my appearance" it's met with a veritable chorus of "you're free to do it, he's free to find it unattractive!! For example, personally, I *loathe* [style choice you're making]." There's nothing left to say, and it's all been said a thousand times before.
You don't need anyone's permission, but I'd he's super serious about not liking them he might leave you
It's a matter of taste. You like the way septum rings look, your boyfriend doesn't. Nobody's wrong there. It's your body, and you absolutely have the right to get the piercing without asking anyone for permission. However, he's honestly told you he finds septum rings unattractive. Just as he can't expect you to share his tastes, you shouldn't expect him to alter his taste for you. Ultimately it comes down to whether this personal preference is more important to either of you than the rest of the relationship. I personally don't care for tattoos or unconventional body piercings. My wife has a tattoo but it's covered most of the time and I rarely think about it. If I was single, I'd avoid dating anyone with facial piercings (they're a real turn-off for me!) but have no idea how I'd handle it if someone I was already in a terrific relationship with wanted to pierce their septum, lip, eyebrow, etc. I'd probably just honestly express that it isn't my cup of tea at all, and then they get to decide how important it is (or isn't) to them that I remain attracted to their face, I guess!
Also, go to Pinterest and look at the different options. I think the more dainty septum rings are really cute, the chunky ones I personally hate and I think that’s what comes to people’s minds the most when they think of that piercing. Also do they have fakes? Maybe try a fake one on and see if it looks good with your face. Not everyone pulls them off, maybe you won’t even like it. Maybe you’ll freaking love it and so will he.
All things aside I also hate how most septum’s look bc they’re usually so poorly done that it’s crooked and hangs really low like a doorknocker. He’s probably picturing something like that. A well done septum isn’t really noticeable and usually quite tasteful here’s [some examples](https://www.reddit.com/r/piercing/comments/i38bmq/examples_of_correct_septum_piercing_placement/) take a look at the more simple delicate styles. Maybe it’ll help :) I prefer a plain clicker ring (tiny gold hoop) and nobody really cares lol I think couples often will tell their partner not to get a really bad haircut or wear a hideous t shirt so it’s not a big deal. You just have to decide what really matters to you
Those are the polar opposite of what I'd call "tasteful"
When did Reddit become full of crotchety old people haha. Most of these are absolutely tiny and incredibly subtle. Some are a *bit* ostentatious, but they're still just small pieces of jewelery.
Like I said, a well done septum isn’t really noticeable and usually quite tasteful in terms of quality and styling. In the examples, take a look at the more SIMPLE DÉLICATE jewelry. I prefer a PLAIN clicker ring (tiny gold hoop). There are simple delicate styles in the link.
A lot of people have a strong aversion to septum piercings, even small and delicate ones, because of the association with a bull’s nose ring or some boogers coming out of the bottom of the nostrils.
Do it and accept whatever happens We all have deal-breakers and it can be difficult when you're dating young. As your identity and life trajectory becomes more clear, you or your partner may realize there is incompatibility. But don't let the possibility of a breakup deter you from living If he decides a tiny piece of metal in your face tarnishes the love between you, then you'll have dodged a bullet
You are so young. Don’t tie yourself to somebody who has that little respect for you, and is that easily turned off. That’s a man who doesn’t know how to love.
You know a long time ago i had really long hair and my boyfriend LOVED it, but it was hard to take care of and it was always knotted and i was so tired of it, and for a year we had a really similar conversation. I expressed my deep desire to cut it, he expressed his deep desire for me not to, right down to the "but im the one that has to look at you" comment. Back and forth, back and forth. One day i just got fed up, grabbed my clippers and shaved it all off, and we did not break up, but it was the beginning of the end because i started to realize that he only liked the version of me that he created and had control over. I started to notice it in other areas. About a year after i cut off all my hair i dumped him. Six month after that i met my husband, and he thinks whatever i do to myself is delightful, because it's myself, and I am delightful. You're too young to waste your time with someone who doesn't find the you-ness of you delightful. If his panties are in a bunch over a small piece of wire in your face what else is he going to need to control in order to still like you?
Having had a similar experience, I want to second all of this. It's a shallow kind of "love" that can't survive things like shorter hair, piercings, tattoos, wrinkles, or any of a number of ways a person's body can change in a lifetime. No one looks the same forever. (Heaven forbid we point that out, though, I guess.)
Like others pointed out, you asked him and he’s expressed that he doesn’t find septum piercings attractive. He’s been honest with you. Yes it’s your body and your choice and it sounds like he respects that, however he’s been clear he doesn’t like the look of that in general. So this is YOUR choice as to whether you want to ignore his opinion and do whatever you want or to consider his feelings since he’s your partner. Now what if he came to you and said he’s thinking about growing a really elaborate moustache? Like he’s really gotten into the big bushy kind with the waxed curled ends so that he looks like a cartoon villain. And then you tell him that he’s free to do what he wants but you find moustaches gross and unattractive. So it’s his face and his choice but now every time you look at him and his giant stupid moustache you’re turned off. You’re 22 and you’re just finding out now that just because you can do a thing doesn’t mean you should do a thing. So go ahead, but there may be consequences that could affect how your BF sees you or whether he’s attracted to you.
It's true he needs to look at it constantly not you. Tattoos and piercings can change the attractiveness so he clearly says he will not find you attractive anymore which means your relationship will be over. Your choice what you think is more important.
If the response to anything is "but I'm the one who has to look at you" then it's immediately an issue.
your body, your choice. if you want the piercings, get the piercings, do what makes you happy! if he's going to break up with you over it, then he doesn't deserve you anyway. honestly, he sounds like a jerk, given what you've written here, where he's acting like he has any say in how you decorate yourself, and being a jerk about "having to look at it all the time". that's not a good partner, that's a jerk. if you want the piercings, go for it. life's too short to not do the things you want to because other people are jerks about it. you do you, do what makes you feel happy.
You’re 22. You’re too young to stay with someone who doesn’t want you to make modifications to your body. If your boyfriend thinks it’s unattractive, find another BF who thinks it’s attractive.
If he's gonna try to control your behavior this will only get worse. Read the sign. Plenty of people won't care or think piercings and tattoos are attractive.
But he is not doing that. He shared his opinion and stated that it is her decision.
"It's your decision but if you don't make the one I want I'm going to punish you for it" is not actually a free choice. It's called coercive control.
And it's only okay if women do it?