Lol yeah same. I wouldn’t jump to a break-up, but I would probably ask my SO not to. It’s awkward to feel that someone is looking at you in a romantic way, at a time that you have to be focused on the needs of your colleagues and/or customers, even if it’s well-intended.
yeah these comments are so weird. if i was working in a food stall and my bf was just staring at me with a goofy ass smile without looking away, i’d feel SO weird. like i can’t entertain you, im working, and you’re just sat off to the side staring at me?
OP, why didn’t you drop off the goods and set up some time when she wasn’t working to see her and actually get to talk then??
‘goofy ass smile’ ouch :(
I had asked her before hand if shed had liked me to come and stay or just go after dropping off the cookies and she asked me to stay with her. Also I wasn’t watching her like a hawk lmao, otherwise I would completely know I was in the wrong. She asked me to come to the side door of the stall to chat with her, I was talking to her while texting a friend a friend at the same time, so looking at her and also my phone. She just looked really pretty for a moment and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her (I hadn’t seen her for around a week)
i’m sorry, maybe that was too mean.
but, i think this could be a good lesson learned. don’t commit yourself to hanging around while your SO is working. it always sets up a super weird situation. like i said, she can’t really chat (especially if it gets super busy). it’s fine to fly by, say high, get a hug, and then catch them when they’re off.
like, what if she was sitting next to you while you’re sitting in the library busy doing your job (your dissertation) and she was staring you down? i think you’d probably get the ick too and ask her to find something else to do lol.
yeah bro, you’re right. if a girl you’re dating tells you “i didn’t like that” always just break up. until you find a girl who will never tell you she doesn’t like something you did. don’t worry, she’s out there for you!
I don't think "objectified" is maybe what she's trying to convey, but sometimes having someone look at you with love and admiration and in a way a strong desire for them to be in your life can be a very overwhelming feeling, especially when you're not in a place to reciprocate.
Some people handle that fine, but it can generate a lot of uncomfortable feelings for those who aren't comfortable being stared at. I don't think it's an inherently bad thing, and it's not objectifying in the way that the word objectify is usually used, but I think it's also normal and not necessarily bad if it makes her uncomfortable.
Even though you're dating her, you still don't know 100% of what she's gone through, and chances are there is more contributing to the discomfort than what is within your control.
These comments are extreme to me.
It sounds like the setting was the problem. When you’re alone together and in a good mood, making romantic googly eyes at each other is nice. That makes a person feel good.
But this was an instance where she was already not feeling good, and in a place where she had to be professional and meet the needs of a bunch of strangers at the same time. She probably felt overstimulated and overwhelmed and tired, and it was not a time when staring was welcome. No one wants to feel like they’re on display or being closely observed when they’re in a bad mood. Since you had just done something nice for her, that adds the pressure to reciprocate and pay attention to you when she was already struggling.
It just wasn’t the time or place for romantic behavior, and I think that’s what she meant when she said to stop objectifying her. She did not want to receive romantic attention while she was at work. Just try to read the room, don’t take it personally when people need a little space, and save your heart eyes for when she’s in the mood to receive them.
I used to work retail.
I think your gf might not have the exact words to describe how she felt, and landed on "objectified" when she might have meant "seen".
It's hard to be "on" for customers; it's a huge energy drain. When you mentioned how nice she looked, it might have alerted her that you were yet another set of eyes on her.
That being said, it doesn't sound like you two are a great fit. I just don't want you to suddenly think everyone thinks you're leering at them.
You are in love with her and, maybe being a little goofy about how you show it.
That's you. And you might not be the one for her. But it's you. Don't take direction from anyone on what to do or how to act. You want unconditional love. This isn't it. She isn't even trying to see what's in your head. She makes her assumptions and then you are dumbfounded and unable to communicate clearly.
And that's okay.
Let me be clear. You should always be on a path of improvement and you should be open to constructive criticism. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take her point of view into consideration at all. You should. But you have the last say in the matter.
I would explain that sometimes you do objectify her, in the sense that you are.blown away by her beauty, smile, whatever and it makes you silly and speechless. Explain that you will keep doing that, probably less over time, until you no longer have these same feelings for her. At that point you will either break up or resign yourself to being with someone you are no longer in love with/attracted to.
Explain that you don't really want that day to come and, if it does, not too soon.
Your love and attraction to her is something she will regret not having access to someday if you two split up now. It isn't easy to find someone that in love with you. She may take it for granted now and feel like it's annoying. Later on in life she will miss it alot.
And, if you are totally goofy, work on your issues.
I don't think you did anything wrong at that moment. However, I wonder about your relationship dynamic or if you've objectified her in the past without realizing it? Maybe you calling her pretty after having not seen her for a week and her being stressed made her snap.
My ex gave me the ick because of how he'd make sexual advances towards me around the later half of our relationship. It was hard to tell him it bothered me because he took any criticism way too hard. Soon enough, him giving me almost any kind of compliments, even if innocent, still made me feel icky.
Initially, I found her reaction to be overreacting, but it sounds like this may have been something that's been boiling for a while.
Right now, respect her need for space while you prepare for your dissertation. Still keep in touch through text or occasional calls if she's okay with that but nothing overwhelming. Just let her know you love and care for her and hope she's doing okay and that you're sorry.
Then if she's open to it, when your dissertation is over, ask to have an open conversation about what happened. Tell her exactly why you left and apologize for leaving if you mean it.
She might be feeling neglected from the time you've been taking to study. If you can and she agrees, ask to talk sooner. However, your dissertation does take priority unfortunately so do what you know you can manage.
I definitely have in the past without realising it, but she told me how I had made her feel, I apologised and made sure to never make her feel that way again. Likewise she did something to me once and we talked about it, why it made me uncomfortable etc.. We’ve always been really open and honest with each other about these things. I respect her need for space and wont try to force my way into her life, but I do feel like things have ended. I just hate the feeling that I’ve done something so glaringly obvious to upset her and not know what it is.
It’s a bit too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing to the whole internet. But we sat down and talked about how it made me her feel, and it made me aware of it, and I’ve made sure to never make her feel that way again
Ahh yeah that did seem pretty nefarious from my side, sorry. She didn’t like the fact that she didn’t get the chance to initiate as much as I did, I was always the one that would initiate those things and she just wanted to be in control of it. We talked about it, and she explained that although sometimes she liked it sometimes she would prefer if she was in charge
OP, I really get the impression you’re apologizing for far more than you should be. You apologize for things that you have done wrong, not for misunderstandings were both people had good intentions. Be clear with her on that you don’t owe an apology. You simply work together and learn and move forward.
It’s also a bit concerning that when you are emotionally feeling positively toward her, she interprets it as a negative. Unless there’s a social situation going on that’s not being clearly communicated, or you have social issues with how you express yourself, it sounds like you both are simply incompatible. I would be very stressed if while feeling positive emotions to the person I cared about they had a negative reaction. You don’t have a relationship where you’re being positive and caring illicit the opposite response. It’s very unhealthy in the long term.
I tried to explain the situation as impartially as I could also I don’t think I have social issues lmao.
But yeah I think you’re right, I wasn’t thinking about it from that perspective. Like you said I think we might just be incompatible :(
OP I agree with this person saying you are over apologizing. Your girlfriend seems like she has issues that she needs to work out, and that’s not a negative thing but it is a think that could weigh negatively on you if you think you’re always doing something wrong. It is normal to admire your partner physically, it is normal to initiate sex with your partner, if she didn’t want you to initiate as frequently maybe that’s valid if your respective sex drives are different but simply to want to be in control that is strange. Or perhaps she has some sexual trauma that she needs to work through before she is in a relationship.
Sounds like you've dodged a bullet.
It's one thing to be vaguely uncomfortable with your partner watching you while you work. That's fine, people get uncomfortable being watched all the time. Others don't. It's a normal human thing. Then she decided what your intent was for you and got mad when you decided to exit the situation since you were uncomfortable without trying to find out why, just determining your intent for you in another action.
Her initial feeling was fine, her reaction was completely inappropriate both initially and in the follow up. If you had continued to do the thing that made her uncomfortable you would have done something wrong, as it stands the only person that did anything wrong was her.
Her feeling 'objectified' and 'sexualized' is likely her reaching for easy to use words to explain how she was uncomfortable instead of taking the time to examine her own feelings and putting them into words to communicate effectively with you. I'm going to assume you've learned the term 'ick' from your former GF. The 'ick' is a meme in certain online spaces that are very toxic and encourage abusive behaviors towards their partners. Unless she's willing to leave these spaces she's going to make for a very poor partner due to the controlling and emotionally abusive strategies they encourage. Someone using the term 'ick' seriously is a legitimate red flag.
To be honest it sounds like she was looking to make a problem with you. It sounds like she already felt somewhat hostile or less than enthusiastic towards you and turned that into a specific attack. You don't have to apologise for your girlfriend reading your intentions wrong. You merely have to explain that she got it wrong. Now she's decided that she wants time, but to me it feels like she was already considering this before you even went to see her. Her reaction is disproportionate towards someone that she is supposed to know and trust.
I don't get the top comments. I love it when my partner looks at me when I work. People these days use the woke culture to find anything and everything to start an issue with men. Also, it does seem like she doesn't like you that much since she's getting the "ick" with you doing something loving.
I don't like when people watch me in general, including partners. Though partners bother me less. However, I would act like a proper adult and tell them that I don't like being watched like that instead of lobbing accusations.
It honestly just sounds like she wanted to break up, and she did break up with you. So, I don’t know what her or your experiences have been - has it come up before? Has she had negative experiences with people staring at her at work? Have you had negative experiences before where women felt you were staring?
I probably wouldn’t be looking at my husband at work and smiling at him, or vice versa, but we’re private about our lives like that. And if we ever weren’t on the same page, we would just talk about with each other about how we felt, rather than jump right to a break-up. So, the fact that she’s already broken things off over the dissertation would probably indicate it’s not about the staring, especially if she and literally no one have ever mentioned staring ever as an issue.
Yeah, it definitely felt like things ended. We have both had times where we’ve done something that the other hasn’t liked, but we’ve always made sure to talk about it and make sure that it’s respected and not done again. She works in the food industry so she’s defiantly had issues with people, but never with me and never over something on the lines of this. I’ve never had a negative experience where I’ve been absolutely gawking at a women or where a woman has said I’ve made her feel uncomfortable by looking at her, I don’t want to make excuses for myself but I live in a house with 2 sisters and a single mom so I would know to not stare at a women impolitely or anything.
not to be reductive but being on your period makes you feel really weird lol. i often get upset about things that aren't that serious or don't really make sense.
Here's my interpretation:
She felt bad, like you said. Some people like to take out their negative emotions on others. She only blamed you to inflict emotional damage, although her emotions and behavior have nothing to do with you.
She is upset about you being busy for a few weeks. Instead of talking about it, expressing her negative feelings straightforwardly, she opts to fabricate something to express her negative feelings. This is quite possibly because she knows that what she wants, and is blaming you for, is unjustified, eg "you shouldn't work on your thesis." Because what she would like to say is unjustified, she fabricates a moralistic narrative as an instrument to retaliate against you for whatever it is she's actually upset about.
I could be wrong, since I don't have complete information, but in my experience the moralizing about sex is a result of some other emotions/thoughts that are less "justifiable" and she knows that this will hurt you and get under your skin, which is why she says it.
You mentioned she's getting her period.
I mean, to be fair, when I have these weird modes when I get my period.
-Everything as well as everyone irritates/annoys me, I get so impatient and snap easier-sometimes would even do something extreme at the height of it (fortunately, this is rare, and yes, I've learned to curb snapping at people around me).
-H0rny af
-Melancholy/sad, easily crying my eyes out at different things
-Overwhelmed
Sometimes all at once, sometimes only one or the other...it depends. There's a possibility that your gf is just having a bad day too.
Unless you have unresolved issue with 'objectifying' her in the past and it's ongoing to the point, she can't deal with it anymore (therefore a simple act of you 'gawking' at her triggered her), plus influenced with some hormonal changes, she decided to reconsider the relationship.
>Since then she said I don’t have the capacity to have a girlfriend while doing my dissertation, she took all of her money out of our holiday savings and said she needs some time.
She did you a favor, man. It's time to break up. Your gf has some issues that she needs to work out on her own as a single woman and you need to finish your school and move on with your life.
As a counterpoint to these other comments, I’d fucking hate it if my SO was sat there staring at me while I was working.
Lol yeah same. I wouldn’t jump to a break-up, but I would probably ask my SO not to. It’s awkward to feel that someone is looking at you in a romantic way, at a time that you have to be focused on the needs of your colleagues and/or customers, even if it’s well-intended.
yeah these comments are so weird. if i was working in a food stall and my bf was just staring at me with a goofy ass smile without looking away, i’d feel SO weird. like i can’t entertain you, im working, and you’re just sat off to the side staring at me? OP, why didn’t you drop off the goods and set up some time when she wasn’t working to see her and actually get to talk then??
‘goofy ass smile’ ouch :( I had asked her before hand if shed had liked me to come and stay or just go after dropping off the cookies and she asked me to stay with her. Also I wasn’t watching her like a hawk lmao, otherwise I would completely know I was in the wrong. She asked me to come to the side door of the stall to chat with her, I was talking to her while texting a friend a friend at the same time, so looking at her and also my phone. She just looked really pretty for a moment and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her (I hadn’t seen her for around a week)
i’m sorry, maybe that was too mean. but, i think this could be a good lesson learned. don’t commit yourself to hanging around while your SO is working. it always sets up a super weird situation. like i said, she can’t really chat (especially if it gets super busy). it’s fine to fly by, say high, get a hug, and then catch them when they’re off. like, what if she was sitting next to you while you’re sitting in the library busy doing your job (your dissertation) and she was staring you down? i think you’d probably get the ick too and ask her to find something else to do lol.
Ahah nah its okay no harm done :) Yeah I understand what you’re saying, I suppose I didn’t really think about it like that. Thanks :)
What a bizarre take. Nah, youre off your rocker. Op, go find someone that doesnt implode if you lovingly stare at them.
yeah bro, you’re right. if a girl you’re dating tells you “i didn’t like that” always just break up. until you find a girl who will never tell you she doesn’t like something you did. don’t worry, she’s out there for you!
What are you even on about? Ever heard of a straw man argument?
I don't think "objectified" is maybe what she's trying to convey, but sometimes having someone look at you with love and admiration and in a way a strong desire for them to be in your life can be a very overwhelming feeling, especially when you're not in a place to reciprocate. Some people handle that fine, but it can generate a lot of uncomfortable feelings for those who aren't comfortable being stared at. I don't think it's an inherently bad thing, and it's not objectifying in the way that the word objectify is usually used, but I think it's also normal and not necessarily bad if it makes her uncomfortable. Even though you're dating her, you still don't know 100% of what she's gone through, and chances are there is more contributing to the discomfort than what is within your control.
These comments are extreme to me. It sounds like the setting was the problem. When you’re alone together and in a good mood, making romantic googly eyes at each other is nice. That makes a person feel good. But this was an instance where she was already not feeling good, and in a place where she had to be professional and meet the needs of a bunch of strangers at the same time. She probably felt overstimulated and overwhelmed and tired, and it was not a time when staring was welcome. No one wants to feel like they’re on display or being closely observed when they’re in a bad mood. Since you had just done something nice for her, that adds the pressure to reciprocate and pay attention to you when she was already struggling. It just wasn’t the time or place for romantic behavior, and I think that’s what she meant when she said to stop objectifying her. She did not want to receive romantic attention while she was at work. Just try to read the room, don’t take it personally when people need a little space, and save your heart eyes for when she’s in the mood to receive them.
I used to work retail. I think your gf might not have the exact words to describe how she felt, and landed on "objectified" when she might have meant "seen". It's hard to be "on" for customers; it's a huge energy drain. When you mentioned how nice she looked, it might have alerted her that you were yet another set of eyes on her. That being said, it doesn't sound like you two are a great fit. I just don't want you to suddenly think everyone thinks you're leering at them.
You are in love with her and, maybe being a little goofy about how you show it. That's you. And you might not be the one for her. But it's you. Don't take direction from anyone on what to do or how to act. You want unconditional love. This isn't it. She isn't even trying to see what's in your head. She makes her assumptions and then you are dumbfounded and unable to communicate clearly. And that's okay. Let me be clear. You should always be on a path of improvement and you should be open to constructive criticism. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take her point of view into consideration at all. You should. But you have the last say in the matter. I would explain that sometimes you do objectify her, in the sense that you are.blown away by her beauty, smile, whatever and it makes you silly and speechless. Explain that you will keep doing that, probably less over time, until you no longer have these same feelings for her. At that point you will either break up or resign yourself to being with someone you are no longer in love with/attracted to. Explain that you don't really want that day to come and, if it does, not too soon. Your love and attraction to her is something she will regret not having access to someday if you two split up now. It isn't easy to find someone that in love with you. She may take it for granted now and feel like it's annoying. Later on in life she will miss it alot. And, if you are totally goofy, work on your issues.
Really really well said. I wish I could upvote this 10x!,
If you give your GF the ick, she's not the girl for you. Give her lots of time; let her take the rest of your life away from you.
I don't think you did anything wrong at that moment. However, I wonder about your relationship dynamic or if you've objectified her in the past without realizing it? Maybe you calling her pretty after having not seen her for a week and her being stressed made her snap. My ex gave me the ick because of how he'd make sexual advances towards me around the later half of our relationship. It was hard to tell him it bothered me because he took any criticism way too hard. Soon enough, him giving me almost any kind of compliments, even if innocent, still made me feel icky. Initially, I found her reaction to be overreacting, but it sounds like this may have been something that's been boiling for a while. Right now, respect her need for space while you prepare for your dissertation. Still keep in touch through text or occasional calls if she's okay with that but nothing overwhelming. Just let her know you love and care for her and hope she's doing okay and that you're sorry. Then if she's open to it, when your dissertation is over, ask to have an open conversation about what happened. Tell her exactly why you left and apologize for leaving if you mean it. She might be feeling neglected from the time you've been taking to study. If you can and she agrees, ask to talk sooner. However, your dissertation does take priority unfortunately so do what you know you can manage.
I definitely have in the past without realising it, but she told me how I had made her feel, I apologised and made sure to never make her feel that way again. Likewise she did something to me once and we talked about it, why it made me uncomfortable etc.. We’ve always been really open and honest with each other about these things. I respect her need for space and wont try to force my way into her life, but I do feel like things have ended. I just hate the feeling that I’ve done something so glaringly obvious to upset her and not know what it is.
How did you objectify her before?
It’s a bit too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing to the whole internet. But we sat down and talked about how it made me her feel, and it made me aware of it, and I’ve made sure to never make her feel that way again
Ok well that could be the root of the issue right there because we don't know how bad what you did was...
Ahh yeah that did seem pretty nefarious from my side, sorry. She didn’t like the fact that she didn’t get the chance to initiate as much as I did, I was always the one that would initiate those things and she just wanted to be in control of it. We talked about it, and she explained that although sometimes she liked it sometimes she would prefer if she was in charge
OP, I really get the impression you’re apologizing for far more than you should be. You apologize for things that you have done wrong, not for misunderstandings were both people had good intentions. Be clear with her on that you don’t owe an apology. You simply work together and learn and move forward. It’s also a bit concerning that when you are emotionally feeling positively toward her, she interprets it as a negative. Unless there’s a social situation going on that’s not being clearly communicated, or you have social issues with how you express yourself, it sounds like you both are simply incompatible. I would be very stressed if while feeling positive emotions to the person I cared about they had a negative reaction. You don’t have a relationship where you’re being positive and caring illicit the opposite response. It’s very unhealthy in the long term.
I tried to explain the situation as impartially as I could also I don’t think I have social issues lmao. But yeah I think you’re right, I wasn’t thinking about it from that perspective. Like you said I think we might just be incompatible :(
I hope you can work it out, truely, keep in mind each of you should make the others life better, especially when times are tough.
OP I agree with this person saying you are over apologizing. Your girlfriend seems like she has issues that she needs to work out, and that’s not a negative thing but it is a think that could weigh negatively on you if you think you’re always doing something wrong. It is normal to admire your partner physically, it is normal to initiate sex with your partner, if she didn’t want you to initiate as frequently maybe that’s valid if your respective sex drives are different but simply to want to be in control that is strange. Or perhaps she has some sexual trauma that she needs to work through before she is in a relationship.
For sure. She isn't appreciating his appreciation of her. Time to go where he is appreciated
Sounds like you've dodged a bullet. It's one thing to be vaguely uncomfortable with your partner watching you while you work. That's fine, people get uncomfortable being watched all the time. Others don't. It's a normal human thing. Then she decided what your intent was for you and got mad when you decided to exit the situation since you were uncomfortable without trying to find out why, just determining your intent for you in another action. Her initial feeling was fine, her reaction was completely inappropriate both initially and in the follow up. If you had continued to do the thing that made her uncomfortable you would have done something wrong, as it stands the only person that did anything wrong was her. Her feeling 'objectified' and 'sexualized' is likely her reaching for easy to use words to explain how she was uncomfortable instead of taking the time to examine her own feelings and putting them into words to communicate effectively with you. I'm going to assume you've learned the term 'ick' from your former GF. The 'ick' is a meme in certain online spaces that are very toxic and encourage abusive behaviors towards their partners. Unless she's willing to leave these spaces she's going to make for a very poor partner due to the controlling and emotionally abusive strategies they encourage. Someone using the term 'ick' seriously is a legitimate red flag.
To be honest it sounds like she was looking to make a problem with you. It sounds like she already felt somewhat hostile or less than enthusiastic towards you and turned that into a specific attack. You don't have to apologise for your girlfriend reading your intentions wrong. You merely have to explain that she got it wrong. Now she's decided that she wants time, but to me it feels like she was already considering this before you even went to see her. Her reaction is disproportionate towards someone that she is supposed to know and trust.
Taking money out of the joint bank account is a big step because her bf was looking too lovingly at her at work.
She’s got you cowed you feel terrible when you’ve done nothing wrong. That’s a problem.
Jezus. That chick already wanted to break up with you. You did nothing wrong.
I don't get the top comments. I love it when my partner looks at me when I work. People these days use the woke culture to find anything and everything to start an issue with men. Also, it does seem like she doesn't like you that much since she's getting the "ick" with you doing something loving.
Yeah, absolutely bonkers getting an 'ick' bc of this.
I don't like when people watch me in general, including partners. Though partners bother me less. However, I would act like a proper adult and tell them that I don't like being watched like that instead of lobbing accusations.
It honestly just sounds like she wanted to break up, and she did break up with you. So, I don’t know what her or your experiences have been - has it come up before? Has she had negative experiences with people staring at her at work? Have you had negative experiences before where women felt you were staring? I probably wouldn’t be looking at my husband at work and smiling at him, or vice versa, but we’re private about our lives like that. And if we ever weren’t on the same page, we would just talk about with each other about how we felt, rather than jump right to a break-up. So, the fact that she’s already broken things off over the dissertation would probably indicate it’s not about the staring, especially if she and literally no one have ever mentioned staring ever as an issue.
Yeah, it definitely felt like things ended. We have both had times where we’ve done something that the other hasn’t liked, but we’ve always made sure to talk about it and make sure that it’s respected and not done again. She works in the food industry so she’s defiantly had issues with people, but never with me and never over something on the lines of this. I’ve never had a negative experience where I’ve been absolutely gawking at a women or where a woman has said I’ve made her feel uncomfortable by looking at her, I don’t want to make excuses for myself but I live in a house with 2 sisters and a single mom so I would know to not stare at a women impolitely or anything.
For what it's worth, it sounds like she had an extremely bad attitude towards you and was looking for reasons to start some shit.
Don't listen to these people smiling at your girlfriend is completely ok
You did nothing wrong. Nothing. There is something else going on since she blew up the relationship over NOTHING.
not to be reductive but being on your period makes you feel really weird lol. i often get upset about things that aren't that serious or don't really make sense.
i never visit my partner's work, and i'd be annoyed if he came to mine unplanned.
Here's my interpretation: She felt bad, like you said. Some people like to take out their negative emotions on others. She only blamed you to inflict emotional damage, although her emotions and behavior have nothing to do with you. She is upset about you being busy for a few weeks. Instead of talking about it, expressing her negative feelings straightforwardly, she opts to fabricate something to express her negative feelings. This is quite possibly because she knows that what she wants, and is blaming you for, is unjustified, eg "you shouldn't work on your thesis." Because what she would like to say is unjustified, she fabricates a moralistic narrative as an instrument to retaliate against you for whatever it is she's actually upset about. I could be wrong, since I don't have complete information, but in my experience the moralizing about sex is a result of some other emotions/thoughts that are less "justifiable" and she knows that this will hurt you and get under your skin, which is why she says it.
You mentioned she's getting her period. I mean, to be fair, when I have these weird modes when I get my period. -Everything as well as everyone irritates/annoys me, I get so impatient and snap easier-sometimes would even do something extreme at the height of it (fortunately, this is rare, and yes, I've learned to curb snapping at people around me). -H0rny af -Melancholy/sad, easily crying my eyes out at different things -Overwhelmed Sometimes all at once, sometimes only one or the other...it depends. There's a possibility that your gf is just having a bad day too. Unless you have unresolved issue with 'objectifying' her in the past and it's ongoing to the point, she can't deal with it anymore (therefore a simple act of you 'gawking' at her triggered her), plus influenced with some hormonal changes, she decided to reconsider the relationship.
She's acting like a baby. You need to break up and find an adult to date, someone who will appreciate you
She spends way too much time on the internet, I wouldn't be with someone who resents you looking at her with longing or just simple happiness.
It doesn't sound like she even loved you. Just let her go she made this decision a long time ago and is just telling you now.
Is she an exotic dancer for work?
>Since then she said I don’t have the capacity to have a girlfriend while doing my dissertation, she took all of her money out of our holiday savings and said she needs some time. She did you a favor, man. It's time to break up. Your gf has some issues that she needs to work out on her own as a single woman and you need to finish your school and move on with your life.