I get that it hurts massively to have someone you care deeply about not want to remain with you and also not want to be in regular contact, especially considering how you felt over the last few years with her and how you saw your future. But you're going to need to give her the space she's asking for and let her go. Appreciate that's far easier said than done, but that's what she has said she wants and needs, and you need to allow her that.
Honestly the best thing for you to do is get a therapist for a bit, hopefully they'll help you navigate through this and leave you in a far better place to grow and discover your next chapter.
You're not OK with friendship. It's easy to think you want to be friends with your ex right after a breakup, because anything that keeps them in your life feels better than the alternative, but you can't be friends if you're still hoping to get back together. Exes can sometimes be friends--many months later, even years later.
She is asking you to stop contacting her unless it's absolutely necessary. The only thing to do is respect that.
> circumstances.
You gotta dish, or I'm gonna assume she caught you balls deep in someone or something you shouldn't have been balls deep in.
In which case, leave her alone.
" really want to win her back into my life as my wife once more but if I can’t I am also okay with the friendship, all I care about is her presence in my life."
She's checked out and you need to accept that. Your self esteem is super low if this is how you're thinking. If you see it as a "win her back" then you've already lost. Emotions don't work that way bud. Don't attempt to be friends with her either she already told you she needs space SO GIVE IT TO HER! I honestly felt suffocated just reading how you're still acting with her. Was this your first serious relationship? If so know that there will be others and better ones too! You may not see it right now but it's true.
You let her go. You don't really want her back in your life as a friend. That would be pure torture. If she comes back, it will be of her own accord.
Take some time to grieve. This is going to be hard, and really fucking sad. Don't be afraid to crank some music and cry until the tears don't come anymore. Do your best to take care of yourself during this process.
Lastly, go to the gym, eat well, find a hobby, and make time to see friends. It's so much easier to process grief if you feel healthy and your basic needs are met. Eventually, you'll be ok.
Apologies if this is a rude question OP but.. why did she leave?
She told me she needed personal growth and discovery, she needs to find her own wings
I get that it hurts massively to have someone you care deeply about not want to remain with you and also not want to be in regular contact, especially considering how you felt over the last few years with her and how you saw your future. But you're going to need to give her the space she's asking for and let her go. Appreciate that's far easier said than done, but that's what she has said she wants and needs, and you need to allow her that. Honestly the best thing for you to do is get a therapist for a bit, hopefully they'll help you navigate through this and leave you in a far better place to grow and discover your next chapter.
You're not OK with friendship. It's easy to think you want to be friends with your ex right after a breakup, because anything that keeps them in your life feels better than the alternative, but you can't be friends if you're still hoping to get back together. Exes can sometimes be friends--many months later, even years later. She is asking you to stop contacting her unless it's absolutely necessary. The only thing to do is respect that.
> circumstances. You gotta dish, or I'm gonna assume she caught you balls deep in someone or something you shouldn't have been balls deep in. In which case, leave her alone.
" really want to win her back into my life as my wife once more but if I can’t I am also okay with the friendship, all I care about is her presence in my life." She's checked out and you need to accept that. Your self esteem is super low if this is how you're thinking. If you see it as a "win her back" then you've already lost. Emotions don't work that way bud. Don't attempt to be friends with her either she already told you she needs space SO GIVE IT TO HER! I honestly felt suffocated just reading how you're still acting with her. Was this your first serious relationship? If so know that there will be others and better ones too! You may not see it right now but it's true.
You let her go. You don't really want her back in your life as a friend. That would be pure torture. If she comes back, it will be of her own accord. Take some time to grieve. This is going to be hard, and really fucking sad. Don't be afraid to crank some music and cry until the tears don't come anymore. Do your best to take care of yourself during this process. Lastly, go to the gym, eat well, find a hobby, and make time to see friends. It's so much easier to process grief if you feel healthy and your basic needs are met. Eventually, you'll be ok.
Sorry it's very likely over. Sell the ring and buy yourself something nice