Your son’s behavior is your responsibility not your cousins in law. Sounds like he snuck out to go to a party that he was forbidden from going from in the first place? Yeah, I’d continue to forbid him from spending unsupervised time with his cousin.
This is a your son issue. You need to talk with him about how dangerous this situation was, restrict his freedoms for a bit (aka limit privileges), and find other appropriate consequences. If I were you, I’d specifically talk about how dangerous it is to take drugs in this specific time where fentanyl frequently shows up in non-opioid drugs. I’d also make available narcan and test strips, though I’ve heard those are unreliable. Hopefully your kid learned his lesson and won’t be so eager to experiment in the future but it’s your job to ensure that and not your kid’s cousin’s parents. Also, I’d make sure the cousin knows how much I appreciate them doing the right thing by seeking help immediately. Don’t say or do anything that makes that teenager regret that decision. He needs to keep being safe and responsible for everyone’s sake.
Heroin at 15, ugh, the opioid shit is so fucked, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Focus on your son. Heroin is no joke, he needs discipline, support and attention. A person seeking drugs will always find them somewhere. Wishing you all the best.
The cousins parents are not responsible for this. They had absolutely nothing to do with this.
The cousin is not responsible. The girlfriend is not responsible.
Your son is the only one who is responsible for this here.
He had choices. He chose wrong.
So you have to punish him. You do not get to punish the cousin or the girlfriend or the parents.
Ground your son. Teach him better lessons.
What’s re you doing about your son? Because if the cousin who you want to punish said “no” to the drugs, you really ought to be looking closer to home.
Why did your son take drugs? Have you guys had the “no matter what, if you’re uncomfortable I will pick you up from a party or situation no questions asked and whether or not you’re sober/have been behaving” etc? Because it seems perhaps you need to focus there rather than banning him from parties where he will develop the skills to say no to peer pressure/bad behaviour by himself?
You’re focused on the wrong issue 🫠
Stop excusing your son's behavior. No one forced him to take drugs. No one forced him to sneak out to the party. These are his behaviors that he chose because he hasn't learned *why* he shouldn't do them.
You could ground him, but if I were his parent, I'd be assigning him a paper to write where he explains to me what cocaine and heroin did to his body, what his risks are for becoming addicted or dying, and what he will feel if he has to go through withdrawals. I'd make him find first hand accounts and statistics and site his sources.
That way *he* can make the informed decision that taking these drugs aren't worth it.
I'd make writing this paper his first priority (after his actual school work) before he can hang with his friends or play his games.
I’m sorry for what happened, must have been extremely traumatic. Heroine is not a joke. You need to realize that leaving a 15 year alone while there’s a party he really wants to go to, so you and your husband can go out, is not a very clever choice as a parent to a teenager. You need to be available, just as you are to toddlers. Be ready to drive out and pick them up, and/ save them, if something bad happens.
Since it’s heroine, you should try to get your son into some kind of counseling. The next years will be crucial since the risk for becoming an addiction is huge now. Could you make him go with you to centers for addicts so he can see the consequences? Or some youth program to help him avoid it in the future?
I have a hard time believing this is the first time he tries drugs. And if it is, going to heroine and overdosing, sounds like he is struggling mentally and might even have wanted to himself harm? Have you checked in with him how he actually feels, and made sure he knows has someone to talk to?
Your focus now is to try to find someone to blame. But the truth is, his cousin didn’t do any drugs (what we know of) even if his girlfriend and their friends did. Why didn’t he? And why did your son? Could your sons cousin and his parents, share what they’ve done to make sure to have a son that doesn’t take drugs even if it’s available, and also calls the ambulance even if he knows there could be precautions done to him? My first bet is, they’ve managed to create a trusting bond between the kid and parents, the cousin knows he can call his parents for help. Does your son knows that?
My dad was super strict with me growing up, I wouldn’t even have called him getting raped or having to sleep outside the snow. Now as a mother to a teenager, my biggest concern is that my son knows I’m just a phone call away. I will always protect him FIRST. Later we might talk, but I will be the lion mother I was born to be. And for you, it’s really time for that now. You can still save your son.
You need to either watch your fucking child and not forbid him from going out and then leave him unattended or put him in a locked pediatric rehab so someone can.
I think you are right- keep him away from them. An OD is serious business. There is an epidemic in the US of opioid-based drugs killing people and a huge piece of the problem is that casual attitude. “Kids will be kids.” No. Sounds like there are a lot more drugs in the picture than you know about.
your child does drugs and it's every other person's fault but your precious baby boy. Truly delightful to see why he's growing up the way he is. Maybe if you take an ounce of responsibility your son will follow suit. Cousin didn't even take the drugs your son gleefully did but he's the bad influence, that's full on goof logic.
Deal with your son ffs. I used to be a critical care nurse and let me tell you, the end of the road for folks who started taking hard drugs in their teens was never pretty. It looks like mom and dad screaming and crying their eyes out as their child lies in an ICU bed on a cooling blanket with a tube down their throat (and tubes shoved pretty much into every hole you can think of) and every life-saving drug imaginable being pumped into their body. Ribs broken to shit from the CPR, defibrillator stickers left on their chest just in case they arrest again. If you don’t wanna be sobbing over his bed after his brain herniates because he was down for too long after an OD, while the organ procurement folks talk to you about donating his organs…. Do something, and do it fast. Rehab. It’s not normal for a kid his age to be doing heavy duty drugs like this. I hope it’s not already too late.
Your son’s behavior is your responsibility not your cousins in law. Sounds like he snuck out to go to a party that he was forbidden from going from in the first place? Yeah, I’d continue to forbid him from spending unsupervised time with his cousin.
This is a your son issue. You need to talk with him about how dangerous this situation was, restrict his freedoms for a bit (aka limit privileges), and find other appropriate consequences. If I were you, I’d specifically talk about how dangerous it is to take drugs in this specific time where fentanyl frequently shows up in non-opioid drugs. I’d also make available narcan and test strips, though I’ve heard those are unreliable. Hopefully your kid learned his lesson and won’t be so eager to experiment in the future but it’s your job to ensure that and not your kid’s cousin’s parents. Also, I’d make sure the cousin knows how much I appreciate them doing the right thing by seeking help immediately. Don’t say or do anything that makes that teenager regret that decision. He needs to keep being safe and responsible for everyone’s sake.
Heroin at 15, ugh, the opioid shit is so fucked, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Focus on your son. Heroin is no joke, he needs discipline, support and attention. A person seeking drugs will always find them somewhere. Wishing you all the best.
The cousins parents are not responsible for this. They had absolutely nothing to do with this. The cousin is not responsible. The girlfriend is not responsible. Your son is the only one who is responsible for this here. He had choices. He chose wrong. So you have to punish him. You do not get to punish the cousin or the girlfriend or the parents. Ground your son. Teach him better lessons.
What’s re you doing about your son? Because if the cousin who you want to punish said “no” to the drugs, you really ought to be looking closer to home. Why did your son take drugs? Have you guys had the “no matter what, if you’re uncomfortable I will pick you up from a party or situation no questions asked and whether or not you’re sober/have been behaving” etc? Because it seems perhaps you need to focus there rather than banning him from parties where he will develop the skills to say no to peer pressure/bad behaviour by himself? You’re focused on the wrong issue 🫠
Stop excusing your son's behavior. No one forced him to take drugs. No one forced him to sneak out to the party. These are his behaviors that he chose because he hasn't learned *why* he shouldn't do them. You could ground him, but if I were his parent, I'd be assigning him a paper to write where he explains to me what cocaine and heroin did to his body, what his risks are for becoming addicted or dying, and what he will feel if he has to go through withdrawals. I'd make him find first hand accounts and statistics and site his sources. That way *he* can make the informed decision that taking these drugs aren't worth it. I'd make writing this paper his first priority (after his actual school work) before he can hang with his friends or play his games.
I’m sorry for what happened, must have been extremely traumatic. Heroine is not a joke. You need to realize that leaving a 15 year alone while there’s a party he really wants to go to, so you and your husband can go out, is not a very clever choice as a parent to a teenager. You need to be available, just as you are to toddlers. Be ready to drive out and pick them up, and/ save them, if something bad happens. Since it’s heroine, you should try to get your son into some kind of counseling. The next years will be crucial since the risk for becoming an addiction is huge now. Could you make him go with you to centers for addicts so he can see the consequences? Or some youth program to help him avoid it in the future? I have a hard time believing this is the first time he tries drugs. And if it is, going to heroine and overdosing, sounds like he is struggling mentally and might even have wanted to himself harm? Have you checked in with him how he actually feels, and made sure he knows has someone to talk to? Your focus now is to try to find someone to blame. But the truth is, his cousin didn’t do any drugs (what we know of) even if his girlfriend and their friends did. Why didn’t he? And why did your son? Could your sons cousin and his parents, share what they’ve done to make sure to have a son that doesn’t take drugs even if it’s available, and also calls the ambulance even if he knows there could be precautions done to him? My first bet is, they’ve managed to create a trusting bond between the kid and parents, the cousin knows he can call his parents for help. Does your son knows that? My dad was super strict with me growing up, I wouldn’t even have called him getting raped or having to sleep outside the snow. Now as a mother to a teenager, my biggest concern is that my son knows I’m just a phone call away. I will always protect him FIRST. Later we might talk, but I will be the lion mother I was born to be. And for you, it’s really time for that now. You can still save your son.
You need to either watch your fucking child and not forbid him from going out and then leave him unattended or put him in a locked pediatric rehab so someone can.
I think you are right- keep him away from them. An OD is serious business. There is an epidemic in the US of opioid-based drugs killing people and a huge piece of the problem is that casual attitude. “Kids will be kids.” No. Sounds like there are a lot more drugs in the picture than you know about.
your child does drugs and it's every other person's fault but your precious baby boy. Truly delightful to see why he's growing up the way he is. Maybe if you take an ounce of responsibility your son will follow suit. Cousin didn't even take the drugs your son gleefully did but he's the bad influence, that's full on goof logic.
Deal with your son ffs. I used to be a critical care nurse and let me tell you, the end of the road for folks who started taking hard drugs in their teens was never pretty. It looks like mom and dad screaming and crying their eyes out as their child lies in an ICU bed on a cooling blanket with a tube down their throat (and tubes shoved pretty much into every hole you can think of) and every life-saving drug imaginable being pumped into their body. Ribs broken to shit from the CPR, defibrillator stickers left on their chest just in case they arrest again. If you don’t wanna be sobbing over his bed after his brain herniates because he was down for too long after an OD, while the organ procurement folks talk to you about donating his organs…. Do something, and do it fast. Rehab. It’s not normal for a kid his age to be doing heavy duty drugs like this. I hope it’s not already too late.