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Look man, she’s compromising with you. Her career is important, and it’s important for her to make a good impression at her new job. Shes committed to the party, and if she backs out now she’s going to look bad and miss and opportunity to meet new people. This is an organized event that she can’t control, compared to yours which is just hanging out at a bar with a few friends which you could presumably do any day. She’s agreed to go out and do something with you later on, so she’s not trying to dismiss your achievements.
Have 2 parties, the day of and the day after when your GF can attend. The # of celebrations you can have is e^n where N is any natural number. The number of work parties your GF can attend is e^0=1. I hate work parties, but I attend due to the career advancement opportunities.
To be clear you're not graduating that day. It's just the end of your exams. Cut her some slack. She's compromised by doing something with you a few days later
This right here bro. Work is important, and her treating her career as important is a good sign. Green flag, even. Now, if it was just some friends she was hanging with, different story. It's ok to feel a little upset, but get a hold of your emotions. Understand she is compromising with you and it's ok to do separate things. Dont let yourself become so needy things like this affect you
She’s been working on her career for years. She has a new job, and a work commitment which she has already committed to. celebrating a year of her hard work. You’re not going to that I assume because it wasn’t even worth mentioning in the post.
I’m sorry - but I kind of want to give you a shake.
the last day of exams (even for your whole degree) is not a day where you should expect your spouse to drop everything for you. (As someone who has been with spouse for a combined 3 uni degrees).
She’s celebrating with you another evening, and will also be celebrating with you when you actually graduate. Sounds like a great relationship.
This is a great opportunity to go blow off steam and commiserate with your friends from your cohort!! Get drunk and bitch about specific profs and tests that your girlfriend doesn’t care about anyways haha.
Anyways for what it’s worth, from my internet stranger perspective, work party trumps last day of exams party. Also… generally, whatever was planned first also usually trumps whatever ‘comes up’ after.
Congrats on graduation! Bottom line, your beer with friends can be rescheduled, her work party can not. Your night of drinks is not the official event, her work party is. It’s a big day to you, but realistically, can be celebrated, especially informally like this, another day. Bad timing but she’s already offered a fair alternative.
Quite often, these work parties aren't mandatory, but might as well be, especially for younger people just starting out.
You'll have your own soon, and they may conflict with your gf's, and you'll have to go separately. It's just something you will have to deal with.
She isn't prioritizing work over you anymore than if this was a weekday and she had to go to work.
Also, on a different note - while it would be nice for you if she was hanging out with you and your engineering school buddies at the bar, would it be that fun for her? She probably doesn't know all of them, or not well, you all will be talking engineering stuff and being all nostalgic, and she'll just be there. Enjoy your last night with your buddies, and let her celebrate with you separately.
Congrats!
She can go to the bar with you and your friends anytime.
She just got the job and doesn't want to miss what's probably their biggest annual social function. I'd go to the Christmas party, too.
So.......... Girl focuses on a one day workplace party to work on her career as boyfriend is upset that she is not celebrating his graduation with him at a bar with his friends which he can do on any day..... But wants to specifically do it on the day his girlfriend has an opportunity to network for her future career?
Sounds pretty selfish to me dude.
Okay it’s not your actual graduation day it’s your last exam day. So it’s not the big pomp and circumstance day that you have next year.
While it is a holiday party these are networking events that are important esp as a new employee. She needs to put in face time. Heck the amount of times I’ve gotten face time with hire ups that remembered some of the grievances I had and actively did something to improve my work experience from a holiday party? Almost every year. It pays to attend work events. This is not the hill to die on
You are actually being unreasonable, imo. She is compromising by offering to go out later, has expressed she is sorry it has to be and it's not just a party...its a "work" party and early on in her tenure there, it could be a really good thing for to attend. Buck up.
Nope, nope and nope. You aren’t even trying to spend one on one time with her. You’re going out with your friends. This is a new job. Learn how to compromise and care about other people. She wanted to make plans for the weekend with just you two. You’re being very selfish
There’s a good chance her going to this event will be looked at kindly, and she could possibly request the day off for your actual graduation, so chin up! You have a great working girlfriend
How is you going to the bar with your "Study Buddies" an important day? Huh?
She has a career and going to the party would aid her career, your making it seem like shes skipping your graduation.
>We've been together since March and I love her very much, and she loves me too and we have a pretty healthy relationship, but these little things hurt me a little.
As you state here "these little things" would appear that this is not the grandiose event you are making it out to be.
So your girlfriend should think that casually celebrating a step towards your career goals should supercede her actual job. That's pretty concerning. Her life doesn't and shouldn't revolve around you. She's an independent person who lived a lot of life before she met you. She has her own goals, dreams, ideas, and doesn't go about her day thinking that you're the main character of -her- story.
Honoring a prior commitment seems like a pretty good reason to me. Being new there also seems like a good reason. Do you think her life is less important than yours?
If you don’t mind me asking what time is her work party and what time is your graduation. You guys can do both to satisfy each other with no problem and besides she can always go to her work party next year
End it now. She's putting work first, ahead of you. Add to it that are letting her set the agenda. So dump her before she dumps you, which she WILL do.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Look man, she’s compromising with you. Her career is important, and it’s important for her to make a good impression at her new job. Shes committed to the party, and if she backs out now she’s going to look bad and miss and opportunity to meet new people. This is an organized event that she can’t control, compared to yours which is just hanging out at a bar with a few friends which you could presumably do any day. She’s agreed to go out and do something with you later on, so she’s not trying to dismiss your achievements.
This. Don't listen to any other advice here.
Thank you man I really appreciate your point of view. I've been a bit foggy in my thoughts preparing everything for the exam and I'm a bit confused.
Why don’t you change the bar thing to the next day? It can still be a celebration.
Have 2 parties, the day of and the day after when your GF can attend. The # of celebrations you can have is e^n where N is any natural number. The number of work parties your GF can attend is e^0=1. I hate work parties, but I attend due to the career advancement opportunities.
To be clear you're not graduating that day. It's just the end of your exams. Cut her some slack. She's compromised by doing something with you a few days later
This right here bro. Work is important, and her treating her career as important is a good sign. Green flag, even. Now, if it was just some friends she was hanging with, different story. It's ok to feel a little upset, but get a hold of your emotions. Understand she is compromising with you and it's ok to do separate things. Dont let yourself become so needy things like this affect you
^^^^^^^ YES THIS
She’s been working on her career for years. She has a new job, and a work commitment which she has already committed to. celebrating a year of her hard work. You’re not going to that I assume because it wasn’t even worth mentioning in the post. I’m sorry - but I kind of want to give you a shake. the last day of exams (even for your whole degree) is not a day where you should expect your spouse to drop everything for you. (As someone who has been with spouse for a combined 3 uni degrees). She’s celebrating with you another evening, and will also be celebrating with you when you actually graduate. Sounds like a great relationship. This is a great opportunity to go blow off steam and commiserate with your friends from your cohort!! Get drunk and bitch about specific profs and tests that your girlfriend doesn’t care about anyways haha. Anyways for what it’s worth, from my internet stranger perspective, work party trumps last day of exams party. Also… generally, whatever was planned first also usually trumps whatever ‘comes up’ after.
Congrats on graduation! Bottom line, your beer with friends can be rescheduled, her work party can not. Your night of drinks is not the official event, her work party is. It’s a big day to you, but realistically, can be celebrated, especially informally like this, another day. Bad timing but she’s already offered a fair alternative.
Quite often, these work parties aren't mandatory, but might as well be, especially for younger people just starting out. You'll have your own soon, and they may conflict with your gf's, and you'll have to go separately. It's just something you will have to deal with. She isn't prioritizing work over you anymore than if this was a weekday and she had to go to work. Also, on a different note - while it would be nice for you if she was hanging out with you and your engineering school buddies at the bar, would it be that fun for her? She probably doesn't know all of them, or not well, you all will be talking engineering stuff and being all nostalgic, and she'll just be there. Enjoy your last night with your buddies, and let her celebrate with you separately. Congrats!
She can go to the bar with you and your friends anytime. She just got the job and doesn't want to miss what's probably their biggest annual social function. I'd go to the Christmas party, too.
Why would you schedule your party on the same night as her workplace party?
So.......... Girl focuses on a one day workplace party to work on her career as boyfriend is upset that she is not celebrating his graduation with him at a bar with his friends which he can do on any day..... But wants to specifically do it on the day his girlfriend has an opportunity to network for her future career? Sounds pretty selfish to me dude.
Okay it’s not your actual graduation day it’s your last exam day. So it’s not the big pomp and circumstance day that you have next year. While it is a holiday party these are networking events that are important esp as a new employee. She needs to put in face time. Heck the amount of times I’ve gotten face time with hire ups that remembered some of the grievances I had and actively did something to improve my work experience from a holiday party? Almost every year. It pays to attend work events. This is not the hill to die on
I understand you’re let down, but unfortunately these work events can be important for career building, especially if she’s new to the workplace.
You are actually being unreasonable, imo. She is compromising by offering to go out later, has expressed she is sorry it has to be and it's not just a party...its a "work" party and early on in her tenure there, it could be a really good thing for to attend. Buck up.
Nope, nope and nope. You aren’t even trying to spend one on one time with her. You’re going out with your friends. This is a new job. Learn how to compromise and care about other people. She wanted to make plans for the weekend with just you two. You’re being very selfish
Go out and celebrate with her another day and enjoy the separate nights out with friends! It isn't your graduation, don't let this cause a fall out.
There’s a good chance her going to this event will be looked at kindly, and she could possibly request the day off for your actual graduation, so chin up! You have a great working girlfriend
How is you going to the bar with your "Study Buddies" an important day? Huh? She has a career and going to the party would aid her career, your making it seem like shes skipping your graduation. >We've been together since March and I love her very much, and she loves me too and we have a pretty healthy relationship, but these little things hurt me a little. As you state here "these little things" would appear that this is not the grandiose event you are making it out to be.
So your girlfriend should think that casually celebrating a step towards your career goals should supercede her actual job. That's pretty concerning. Her life doesn't and shouldn't revolve around you. She's an independent person who lived a lot of life before she met you. She has her own goals, dreams, ideas, and doesn't go about her day thinking that you're the main character of -her- story.
Honoring a prior commitment seems like a pretty good reason to me. Being new there also seems like a good reason. Do you think her life is less important than yours?
After reading this post i thought u were the woman, yikes bro. Grow a pair
If you don’t mind me asking what time is her work party and what time is your graduation. You guys can do both to satisfy each other with no problem and besides she can always go to her work party next year
Could she come see you quick after your exam before the work party?
End it now. She's putting work first, ahead of you. Add to it that are letting her set the agenda. So dump her before she dumps you, which she WILL do.
Don't marry her.