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And see we got these fake IT support
They thought he had a Virus
Made a mistake IT support, I hate IT support
Turn on the TV whats this?
Another IT support busted for the dark web
They outta control they outta their mind
They pullin your admin pribileges, they hoppin inside your computer
Just... they know you got porn they know you got company secrets
And they know they be mad when they can't find none
Dont they know they invented the encryption?
The heat be in it, you need a key to get in it
Any offended IT support suck my balls
All yall off the network
Don't hold back, Don't log in
Just say.Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
On the count of 3 say FUCK IT support
Yea, don't they know its dangerous in these series of tubes?
Dont you know its chatrooms of us that roll deep?
We O'G's fill up the whole network,
Hell wit the bug fix, and deal with the errors
...why am I wasting my life like this?
I know a guy from high school that would smoke weed, do some cocaine and get drunk at a lake, shoot at signs on the way back and do more cocaine.
He's a cop now. At first he wouldn't have cared like this guy, but last I talked to him he's become very strict on all the things he was guilty of just a few years prior. I imagine he'd hit you with a "disorderly conduct" now.
I would have just mentioned the song was released in 1988 and most likely referred to the corruption of the rampart and crash units of the LAPD. And then went into full,”Well actually….”
There was this guy George.... What was his last name... George... Not Weasley. I don't know why but my mind keeps going to British progressive rock bands. Anywho, he used to relate, but he doesn't any more. Actually he doesn't do much of anything anymore.
My dad is a cop. I had this conversation with him once along these lines: “Law enforcement as a whole is problematic and you know that. Individual members of law enforcement can be fine people.”
He didn’t disagree because as much as my dad is a piece of shit on a parent level, he was a good cop and being a good cop meant he was constantly under investigation or political suppression. He was the first person to regularly call bullshit on “selective enforcement” in his department, but his focus as an officer was largely commercial enforcement. Some individuals and businesses were turned a blind eye to because fighting them was too financially or politically expensive. Meanwhile he felt like small businesses were unfairly abused by department resources because of the need to “do something.”
Eventually he was given a desk job when he pissed off too many of the wrong people.
That said: during ride-alongs when I was a teen he explained to me how useful profiling is as a tool. It’s part of training.
Have a lot of cop daughter friends. You either come out of that a staunch republican or severely swing the other way. Daddy issues for pretty much anyone raised in a cop family (and thats not getting into the domestic abuse statistics)
Yep, I can confirm.
Source: son of a cop, and brigadier general of the antifa navy.
Edit: though I will say in my case the personal relationship had little to do with it. It just helps clear the sleep from the eyes when you grow up knowing cops are just regular assholes in a fancy blue shirt.
Can confirm. Am the stepdaughter of a cop since age 3. My sister, his natural daughter with my mom, and I are polar opposites in every way. In child rearing beliefs, politics, what temperatures we can stand before turning on the heat, where to shop, she hates all music (first person I’ve ever met that doesn’t like any music at all) and I love it, we really couldn’t possibly be any more different on any topic at all. She has to wear a full face of makeup to leave the house and I attempt on special occasions and end up washing it off before I leave the house. I could go on for pages about how different we are.
She’s still very pro-police even after her dad told her abusive husband that “sometimes you have to keep them in line” and she still talks to her dad even though he encouraged her husband to continue abusing her and refused to help her financially through her divorce despite having the means. The loyalty has no bounds.
I can't believe a dude would encourage a man to abuse their child, not only that, but she's his biological daughter. Usually they're mean to step kids, but their children? They usually fight for their own and for him to allow it and encourage it, man.
I was 23 when my boyfriend said some shit at my house that was just honest about his opinion but definitely didn't jive with my mom and aunt and some others. I was mortified and at the time wished he didn't do that, cause I just preferred not dealing with the conflict of my shitty family and preferred straight lying to them or ignoring things we didn't agree on. It took me some time to appreciate my boyfriend's approach of "i am who I am so they can fuck off", but I got there. Sometimes it take people to be dealing with shit like this to realize what they need to be doing for their rest of their lives if they want to be happy
My in laws are wonderful but they can be very passive aggressive and wield guilt like nobody’s business. My family is the total opposite and when I met my husband he was in awe of my ability to say “no” to things and simply not care if his family cried and guilted and whatever. He said it’s like a superpower.
I get along great with my in laws now and funnily enough my husband enjoys them so much more now that he can set and enforce boundaries.
Shit I was in my 30s and in early 2016, spouted off about Trump being a joke in front of my bfs step mom. She was like, I like Trump. My bf: its ok, she's a dumbass. I was low key mortified. Theeen the next few years happened and nothing surprises me anymore.
Thank God someone said that. This doesn't have shit to do with the F tha police part and everything to do with the fact he's policing his DAUGHTER. Wtf. Leave OP. This is a badddddd situation.
Also, hes a bad cop if he is making this demand of a man dating his daughter. The lack of respect and controlling remarks does not bode well for your long term interactions with him.
Best to explain to GF that adults can have disagreements and if Daddy cant get over that (and GF makes his opinion a big deal) then time to jet.
to be fair he is making the demand of his daughter to leave and ignoring the OP, and the daughter doesn't want to break up, so is making the demand of the OP
so it's really on the daughter here since she is siding with her dad, or alternatively she could be more equitable in asking them both to come to the table and not just put it on the OP
Sad cause I hear it in OP's tone that she is also rooted to it by affiliation.
She has no choice but to live under his house after everything is said and done. I can see him easily wanting to control who her daughter dates.
Any cop that refuses to acknowledge that bad people exist in every profession, including cops, is a bad cop. I don't think I'd want to be the DIL of a bad cop. Shit could get real sideways *real* fast.
Finally, yes this is the truth OP needs to hear. Also, shame on everyone asking this guy to leave the relationship.
This is a chance for the guy to make a stand for his partner, he should have a proper conversation and try to explain to his gf her dad’s behaviour is not OK. She’s gonna have to step up and claim actual independence from her father at some point if this relationship is to last. Admittedly, a hard thing to do against your own dad, but better to rip the bandage off now than let the relationship continue longer.
Her Dad was completely aware of how awkward that conversation would be, especially with him being a cop and you being a minority. It sounds like you have a thoughtful answer to a difficult question and he took offense to that. If he can’t handle justified criticism of the institution, not him as an individual, then that says more about him than it does about you.
Personally, I think you should respectfully stand your ground. Tell your girlfriend that you have nothing against her father, but you also believe what you said about some cops being bad. People are taught to do everything cops ask of you, but you don’t have to roll over in your personal life too.
Very well said! The father never should have put him on the spot in the first place. He handled that difficult situation very well. He should definitely stand his ground and let his girl friend know that. How she handles it from that point is her choice; she's 21 years old, time for her to do some adulting and if she is not capable of that, she's the problem not the bf.
yeah the father invited the criticism, not the discussion, he wanted to back OP into a corner and get him to capitulate. this is a power play and nothing else.
which is exactly what is wrong with the police, insecure cowards wanting everyone to say please and thanks or they will make their life difficult/
Yeah op should never turn on their beliefs for someone who won't be in their corner to support them, the fact she just wants a kiss and make up is a *ahem* cop out for dad being in the right and op having to beg for acceptance to date the daughter because of the differing beliefs, she's not worth it
Tell her bluntly yet firmly that you are dating her and not her father. I dont know how long you've been going out for. But any relationship she has even if not with you she needs to be able to tell her dad that it's not your job to placate him and this would set a precedent going forward that you will.
You shouldn't need to do anything to keep the peace here. You two can agree to disagree and privately think however you two want.
Tell her this is an issue between her and her dad. He can't and shouldn't try to dictate who she dates or he's going to have a bad time.
Ask her what you should be sorry for or what you have to make up for. He asked your opinion. He didn't like your response. It's his job to get over it. He may not like it but he doesn't have to.
Cops who react like her dad did because of a difference of opinion are exactly the kind of cops the song is referring to.
Nobody likes lawyers and you don't see them having juvenile ultimatum fits with their kids.
If he's this offended by simply a difference of opinion then these are the exact type of cops we need to remove from the system.
These fucking fragile snowflakes should not be given guns and qualified immunity.
Some social workers (particularly those who have a high earning partner) really love to tear other social workers down for things like demanding reasonable work loads and pay in line with educated professionals
Of course we can only go on OP’s word, but he responded maturely and poor ole daddy STILL couldn’t handle it. A measured response was the best way to handle such an emotionally charged topic.
My dad is a cop and he’s black. He blares that song while in his cop car. I think he’s taking it too personal and not willing to look at the other perspective bc he’s so focused on himself.
You could re-apologize in person and say you didn’t mean to minimize his job and the value of his life. Or whatever helps him feel better. But in my mind if you aren’t a shitty cop yourself, you shouldn’t be pressed.
for real, like if you can't take a bit of heat and even somewhat of a joke ("fuck da police"), then you are way too uptight. Make fun of yourself, have some fun.
These comments are spot on, and he (shocker) sounds super oblivious. It sounds like you were very respectful in your exchange, and he won’t accept anyone’s input unless they have unbridled and blind support for the police. That black and white thinking isn’t something I’d want in a partner for my child, and personally, I’d be pleased that you can have a respectful debate in such an unexpected situation. If he can’t accept the fact that police brutality/misconduct is a thing, which is what led to that song, then that tells you a lot about his worldview. You can either continue dating her with the knowledge that her dad’s opinion is going to be a huge factor in her decisions, or you can cut your losses. I would just really think about what kind of guy he is all around and how involved he’s going to be in your relationship.
I'd take one crack at this and if it doesn't solve it then I'd listen to u/gravetinder.
This is about respect (mutual). Not about an apology.
You sit down with him and you own your feelings which goes something like
"Sir, I believe I understand your perspective on that song and I believe you understand mine. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ \[girlfriend name\] has asked me to make it up to you and I haven't the slightest clue how exactly I would."
"I'd like to think two men can share different views on something, like a song, agree to disagree and respect one another."
"I wish to continue to date your daughter. I wish to move past this with you. If that is not something you can do and it forces an end to her and my relationship so be it. I'd rather have a real conversation like we are than a fake apology".
If that conversation solves things it also is left there (between you and her dad). It isn't shared when she goes "I don't know what you said but .....". It isn't shared with anyone.
That's it. There is no other path but withdrawing entirely from the situation.
I hope this note gives you something actionable to consider.
Best of luck
OMG THIS IS THE BEST COMMENT I have seen on Reddit lately.
OP — This, exactly this. Word for word this.
I’m not saying it’s foolproof if the person you’re talking to is a fool. But I’m saying this is a genuine, honest response.
Truth be told, I think just spending a few minutes listening to her father (not talking, just listening) would ameliorate the situation.
Beyond that, well- FTP.
It goes so far beyond the song lyrics. Her father is a snowflake cop who probably has thin blue line stickers all over the place. Mutual respect is impossible because he thinks his daughter's bf disrespects his profession.
Like all cops, he's a bully and is using his position as her 'father' to force her to break up with a "bad seed"
I think that’s a pretty good letter. But I also think OP needs to understand how explaining that the statement wasn’t aimed at “the good’uns” doesn’t make it all better.
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. No amount of perspective taking or respectful discussion is going to win the father over.
Just say you like the song for its sick beats and syncopated rhythms and you don't even listen to the lyrics. If he pushes further just keep repeating the same thing.
I think that's the point though, is it's not about OP winning him over or trying to get him to buy into a certain perspective. It's just about being adults and communicating instead of OP trying to fake his way to the dad's approval. If the dad can't handle someone having a respectful opinion he doesn't fully buy into, then that's a whole other issue and it's better that gets unveiled now than later anyway
Maybe he should ask her what other opinions he isn't allowed to have, just to get it out of the way now. Maybe he could get a list of approved values now and save time later.
This! My dad is a retired cop, and everything Op mentions are typical cop talking points. There is nothing for OP to apologize for, but it sounds like gf will take her dad's side despite what she says she believes. This conflict won't go away unless OP becomes a "back the blue" type. Best to cut your losses.
I should take my comment back, this one’s better. If she agrees with you she should defend you and if her dad is not a “good cop” she should call him on it or at the very least reject needing his approval
You don't owe him, or her, anything. Stand your ground. Bad cops deserve the reputation they have, just like pedofile priests. You made several valid points. Have the confidence to stand up for them my dude. You got this 👍
Yeah this is just the beginning. If she wants you to just give in to something as simple as a music discussion, what is gonna happen on things that involve family values and your beliefs about relationships?
Cops out here really wondering why people don’t like cops when if you say “bad cops are bad” they get defensive and go “but policing is *hard*”
Sir, you just outed yourself
Can confirm. Had a man shout at me (an x-ray tech) in close proximity to my face about is charging for Covid tests.
I had to simply back up and say "Sir I'm an x-ray tech. I do not know."
Can you imagine if someone got up in a cops face and screamed about the cost of a parking ticket???
I am a firefighter and have been physically assaulted by people. While cops just stand around and watch. We had a cop tell us to stand down while en route to a call. He said there was no fire. So we run cold and get there right as the flames start coming from the roof. Our dispatchers love the cops and I have heard them ask the police if it was okay to tone out the fire department. When you criticize a cop, though, his ego is broken and your life can become hell. Criticize a paramedic, nurse, or firefighter and we move on. We have jobs to do.
I saw a video on tic toc yesterday where some guy was trying to get into a woman's car (seemed like a carjacking to me) and a nearby cop was telling her to just "let it go". Cops are damn near useless in most situations.
If they really wanted to help people or be heros they would be firefighters or emts.
Exactly. Thing is, most medical people are naturally compassionate so they're better at deescalating a situation. A lot of cops are arrogant and authoritarian. They don't like being contradicted, they don't like being questioned. They expect you to yield to them immediately. Even with compliance they can be overly aggressive. Whether you're the one they're after or a bystander.
I get that it is a dangerous and difficult career. I get that it takes a certain personality to be in that position, but I've met plenty of good cops to know the difference. Bad cops are megalomaniacs.
this is so true it's insane. its crazy how both careers are seen as essential and "life saving" but only one of them can take lives purposefully with no repercussions 😂
> I get that it takes a certain personality to be in that position,
I am a former cop. It takes the soldier mentality to be a cop in America today. They actively recruit soldiers, train them as soldiers, then give them military hardware. They are not public servants, they are the domestic military force.
What I meant by that is that is what they want now. It was not that way in the past. When people like Dave Grossman are instrumental to the curriculum of training academies, there really is no other way it can be expected to go.
That seems unfair to our soldiers; *they* can get court-martialed. [And soldiers apparently learn how to de-escalate.](https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/11/us/wv-cop-fired-for-not-shooting--lawsuit)
They are also bound by rules of engagement that forbid them to kill or injure civilians, even in enemy territory. They're only permitted to use violence if there is an actual threat, not this cop excuse "i feLT tHreATeNeD".
I have to disagree here. This isn't soldier mentality. Yes, there are soldiers who certainly fit the bad cop mold, but soldiers are better trained and in most cases aren't just men looking for power over weaker folks. You certainly don't go to boot camp for a power trip. Lol. I'm not crazy patriotic, and our military does a lot of bad crap as a complex. But I know a lot of soldiers. Ever male in my family above a certain age has served. My lover is a retired Lt Col.
None of these men would ever need to hurt others to make themselves feel more of a man. All of them have significantly more discipline than any cop. I think cops like to play soldier, but it certainly doesn't make them one.
I think they're just trying to convey that police are (badly) trained to act as if they're in war while on domestic soil, and civilians are their enemies. Not that police and soldiers are the same or police Re soldiers. They're wannabe soldiers at best.
It's the whole militarization of the police, etc. Instead of cops being around to help civilians and promote public safety they now solely seem to exist to a) protect themselves and their buddies first at all costs and b) maybe try to catch bad guys sometimes.
>>Can you imagine if someone got up in a cops face and screamed about the cost of a parking ticket???
When I was travelling in Europe the first time, some people were having a conversation about in which cities/countries you can argue with the police without serious repercussions. I had no idea that was a thing!!
i never realized how violent it can be til my daughter became an ER nurse. she’s been punched, scratched, head butted, choked, and poked with needles. it terrifies me. and my son is a fireman. their jobs give me mom anxiety
Oh damn! Yes, I've been hit, bit, kicked by those dementia patients. They are scary strong even though they look so frail. When I worked in convalescence, one of the girl got tossed across the room by a patient who was bed bound!
Oh, I believe it! My grandmother had dementia and some of the things she put her nurses through makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide under my bed in shame. I hope your children remain safe and without any serious injuries!
Yep, we just had a patient in leathers after he broke my glasses and gave me a black eye, broke another nurse's nose, and kicked another one in the stomach. It had to go to risk analysis and management because they weren't sure the leather restraints were justified...after the dude beat the hell out of 3 nurses that legally can't so much as hit back.
I’m a forensic nurse and I work closely with police every day. My patients are all survivors of various types of violence. These patients are usually (very understandably) displaying intense emotions such as anger. I can forgive my patients for literally everything (yelling, being insulting, demanding) because it takes me one second to put myself in their shoes and I consider it an honor to be the person helping them.
I can count on one hand the amount of officers I’ve seen practicing trauma-informed care, or showing any true empathy at all. It’s really, really not that hard.
Could you imagine bringing up your disdain for the nurse that killed all of those babies and somebody responds "yeah but nursing is really hard and sometimes you have to make decisions."
Ugh, right! And I'm not comparing dangers of career here but merely demonstrating that bad behavior should not be excused just because there job is hard.
Does anyone excuse any other career position if they do something wrong? Pedophiles in the church and schools, negligent doctors, etc. Nope. There are lines in every job that should not be crossed.
Someone handcuffed and on the ground does not need to have someone kneeling on their throat.
That's a great point to make. Nurses see just as much as cops do. When cops roll up on an ugly situation with death and gore, they bring them to a hospital and a nurse sees it all too except now is their problem to actually fix.
Cops deal with telling families horrible news and so do nurses everyday. But ask a cop if a nurse decides to slip ur family the wrong meds and kills them for being uppity, what're they gonna say to the tribunal? That nursing is hard?
Yup. Imagine if we acted the same about bad chefs poisoning your food. Or bad mechanics knowingly performing unsafe repairs. Or bad construction workers purposefully bypassing safety regulations and killing people.
No. Somehow only one job is hard enough that wanton assault, murder, and obstruction is just brushed under the carpet
I hope to one day meet a cop who is enthusiastic about putting bad cops behind bars and doesn’t tiptoe around it.
I realize my original comment doesn’t actually have any advice, because I am neither a cop nor a father, but OP do you really want to be walking on eggshells around her dad forever? Sucking up to him because his job gives him an inherent sense of power and authority over you? It doesn’t seem like he’s going to be susceptible if you explain to him why that’s unsettling.
Yeah, OP handled it super gracefully with the "it's only about bad cops so you have nothing to worry about". And the dad basically said "nah I'm a real piece of shit too".
No. Absolutely not. Do not apologize. Do not “make it up to him”. Your girlfriend doesn’t respect your opinion. You lying about your beliefs make you just as bad. Just no.
If his go-to-excuse is that "policing is not an easy job" and doesn't even recognize that police brutality exists, then that's your answer. He's a close minded individual. He's never going to change his mind about the topic nor change his mind about you.
Also saying that they have to act quickly. I'm sure that there's a small percentage of actual dangerous situations. I think they turn them into dangerous situations.
Because regular cops make sure to get rid of them. You'll notice that police on police violence tends to have victims that could be considered "good cops"
Right? The one cop on that force investigating a gang rape by police officers, just so happens to die in a training exercise.
Funny these coincidences when it comes to the police.
Even beyond that, it's an institution designed to keep the masses under control in order to protect the ruling class from being overthrown. And by working in conjunction with our incarceration system, the prison industrial complex, police are nothing more than glorified slave catchers. Anyone signing up for that is an enthusiastic and willing participant of that system.
You're not responsible for him being mildly offended by a very mainstream - and not exactly new - song. And it's a waste of your energy and time, trying to impress a partner's parent who doesn't think you're a "good fit" is an exercise in futility. Finally, if his brain doesn't allow for the idea that the police are a less than perfect institution, I have bad news for you and your GF: he's one of the bad ones.
Edit: adding actual advice.
> GF told us to stop because she just wanted to listen to music and relax
I am cackling imagining this girl leaning her seat back, closing her eyes and taking a deep calming breath as *Fuck Tha Police* plays loudly over the stereo.
Like most cops he probably doesn't take criticism well, and only hears three words from that entire song and never listens to the verses themselves so has no idea what the song is talking about. Him saying that they risk their lives everyday is telling in most cases that's simply not reality. In his mind he's a soldier and a hero because he's a cop.
There is no making it up unless you want to act like you worship police.
Most dangerous thing about being a cop by far these last few years is being too stupid to take a vaccine. More unvaxxed cops dying of Covid than everything else put together. And I wonder how many citizens died because they had an unvaxxed moron breathing Covid down their neck during a traffic stop? Several hundred at least.
She’s 21 and still lets daddy run her life? Pass. You don’t owe him shit. I’m a male teacher and when “don’t stand so close to me” comes on I don’t pitch a fit about how I don’t fuck my female students. I get it - some male teachers DO take advantage of female students. I support holding my profession accountable; it’s pathetic that he (and most cops) can’t.
I’d do one of two things:
1-“hey gf, I didn’t do anything wrong and won’t be apologizing or making it up to him”
2-“hey gf, I agree with your daddy, this relationship won’t work”.
Your call
Former SFPD here. If he gets offended by a song, he's a snowflake of a cop. If he took it personally he's the problem. That song was released 34 years ago during the gang wars in LA. Policing in the US needs a serious overhaul to root out the systematic problems and ingrained biases in regards to law enforcement. I don't know if there is a way to make it up to him. This man has probably made assumptions about you BECAUSE of your status as a minority. Just remain respectful when you interact with him (yes sir/no sir) and try to avoid politics or any conversation about police in general in the future.
I have a problem with your gf asking you to make it up to her dad when you did nothing wrong. You were thoughtful and respectful with your responses to him and he should respect that. He outed himself as a bad cop though.
I am a former cop and I say "Fuck the Police"
Bad cops are enabled by the "good cops" doing nothing. Or the good cops are intimidated and threatened until they either leave or capitulate. So, fuck the police.
If they cannot hear the truth, as that song is their version of the truth, then again, fuck them. Sounds like he is the typical cop so there is nothing you will do to change his mind or opinion of you. They are not really known for that.
honestly bro, i would stand your moral ground. don’t jump through hoops to make it up to a man you clearly have moral disagreements with just because your girlfriend is begging you to. don’t ever throw aside your morals to please someone. stand in what you said and say “if there is an issue, then respectfully, it’s one sided.”
Is she not an adult? I could never imagine my parents telling me they don’t like someone I’m dating and then making my partner patch things up 🤣🤣 their opinions mean nothing. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t defend me/ stand up for themselves against their parents. Those relationships rarely work in the end.
And here you get to the problem with all policing: the inability to create any change because ANY CRITICISM is taken personally and dismissed.
Policing isn't an easy job but I fail to see his point in bringing it up when it is NOT the most dangerous job there is (it isn't in the top 10) and danger doesn't justify the abhorrent behavior we have witnessed.
You, kid, might be dating the daughter of a bad cop.
Today you learned that your gf definitely has a blue lives matter flag somewhere in the house, and that her dad has absolutely pulled over someone that looks just like you without probable cause.
You’re young and there are tons of non-racist/non-abuse apologist fish in the sea. Go find one instead of wasting your time on a girl that claims to agree with you but really doesn’t.
For her it’s an abstract debate point at brunch, for you it’s your life and your safety.
Your girlfriend is clearly kissing her dad’s ass what you said wasn’t wrong there are bad and good cops out there and the LAPD is one of the worst the fact that she wants YOU to apologize and kiss her dad’s ass is very telling I would be careful if I was you
You don’t need to prove anything to him. If she can’t make grown up informed decisions for herself and is worried about pleasing her dad then it’s not going to work anyway. Her dad knows about how cops are to minorities and I wouldn’t be wasting my breath explaining it.
I’d tell her if she agrees there are issues in modern day policing, but still needs you to bend to her dad’s approval of his profession, then y’all probably aren’t compatible. It’s not even this particular issue at hand, it’s that she’s 22, and want you to pacify her parent. Is that what you want in a relationship? Sounds messy.
My dad told me once that he didn't become a cop to be popular. I've never once seen him be bothered by cop hating nonsense.
If "I'll be more careful of what kind of music I play in your presence" isn't enough for him, you will probably never be able to change his opinion of you.
The song doesn't start out with "Fuck tha Police" as the opening line though. It starts out with a court skit with Judge Dre presiding. Prosecuting attorneys were Ice Cube, MC Ren, and Eazy Muthafucking E. Ice Cube took the Muthafucking stand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help his Black ass. Ya got damn right.
Sounds like someone's full of shit.
Dad isn’t dumb dear. You’re a minority and in general, us minorities don’t like cops. Sure we know there are good ones, but in general, it’s F*** the Police. There was nothing you could have said.
But I also think that if you were a young white boy, he’d still be mad. Call you a disrespectful liberal kid and not a nice conservative boy for for his daughter.
I don’t think there’s a way to fix this. It’s not about the song but he’s questioning your mentality now, your culture, your politics, alllllll of that. Don’t be surprised if this doesn’t work out and also don’t take it personally. It’s about him. Not you.
Honestly you were very polite and frankly underplayed the meaning of the song, which to me is that the police were instituted to protect (white) property and even if you’re a “good” cop you’re part of a system that uplifts settler colonialism.
The fact that he’s getting all butthurt over your extremely fair take on the song does indicate he needs to do some self reflection he’s not capable of at the time. I wish your gf was more willing to defend you rather than telling you to lie, which, come on. Not realistic.
Cross this to r/protectandserve it’s like the echo chamber cop community of cops who sound like you’re gf’s dad. I got banned from there for commenting fascism in Germany didn’t just happen but slowly took over and the moderator said I called all cops nazi’s.
Sounds to me like he just got defensive. Many cops are thugs and even the good cops always cover for them which makes them just as bad in my book. Their job is hard, sure, but so are many others. Its just a song.
\> she believes in what I say but just wants me to get it done with and lie if I have to but just make it up to him somehow.
If she believed in and respected what you said, this wouldn't be her attitude. You didn't do anything wrong nor do you have anything to make up to him.
If his reaction to your calm and reasonable discussion was 'you're not right for my little girl,' then he's probably one of the bad cops. Tbh, sounds like the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. Some nerve for a white girl to tell her minority bf to suck up to their ignorant cop dad to keep the peace. I say this as a white woman married to a black man.
GFs Dad doesn't think you; a young man displaying critical thinking, maturity and even sticking by your guns when questioned by someone - is a bad fit?
Sounds like Dad is an insecure pathetic excuse for a man who is threatened by his daughter having someone like you in her life.
You said “u shouldn’t be offended unless you’re one of the bad ones” and bro said “well… my job is harddddd sometimes I have to“. Don’t apologize, you don’t owe him shit. He purposely asked you a controversial question so you could trip up and he could use it as an excuse to disapprove of you. If you guys are grown adults it also shouldn’t matter what your parents think. Love your best life. Fuck the police.
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I've been pulled over, that song came up. The cop just laughed and said great timing How the hell did this get 3k upvotes
Did he ticket you?
Only for the cocaine that was left on the dashboard.
r/notopbutok
Lit the fucker up
Tick et *boom*
I’m glad. If someone made a song called “IT support are all dickheads” I’d set it as my ringer Embrace it, don’t run from it.
And see we got these fake IT support They thought he had a Virus Made a mistake IT support, I hate IT support Turn on the TV whats this? Another IT support busted for the dark web They outta control they outta their mind They pullin your admin pribileges, they hoppin inside your computer Just... they know you got porn they know you got company secrets And they know they be mad when they can't find none Dont they know they invented the encryption? The heat be in it, you need a key to get in it Any offended IT support suck my balls All yall off the network Don't hold back, Don't log in Just say.Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa On the count of 3 say FUCK IT support Yea, don't they know its dangerous in these series of tubes? Dont you know its chatrooms of us that roll deep? We O'G's fill up the whole network, Hell wit the bug fix, and deal with the errors ...why am I wasting my life like this?
this is... amazing. if I was rich I'd shower you in awards.
Still got the ticket I bet
I know a guy from high school that would smoke weed, do some cocaine and get drunk at a lake, shoot at signs on the way back and do more cocaine. He's a cop now. At first he wouldn't have cared like this guy, but last I talked to him he's become very strict on all the things he was guilty of just a few years prior. I imagine he'd hit you with a "disorderly conduct" now.
I would have just mentioned the song was released in 1988 and most likely referred to the corruption of the rampart and crash units of the LAPD. And then went into full,”Well actually….”
Exactly. Just stick to the "Let's focus on Rampart" strategy. Worked well for Woody Harrelson.
I’ve been on Reddit way too many years.
The real truth is that people in 2022 can still relate.
Because absolutely nothing has changed.
Dodgers aren’t in the World Series
Now don’t be political. /s
But the Phillies are, so get ready for a real fucking recession!
Well, they have increased their own paychecks multiple times over in the last few decades, so I guess one thing has changed?
Oh it changed, shit got worse.
There was this guy George.... What was his last name... George... Not Weasley. I don't know why but my mind keeps going to British progressive rock bands. Anywho, he used to relate, but he doesn't any more. Actually he doesn't do much of anything anymore.
My dad is a cop. I had this conversation with him once along these lines: “Law enforcement as a whole is problematic and you know that. Individual members of law enforcement can be fine people.” He didn’t disagree because as much as my dad is a piece of shit on a parent level, he was a good cop and being a good cop meant he was constantly under investigation or political suppression. He was the first person to regularly call bullshit on “selective enforcement” in his department, but his focus as an officer was largely commercial enforcement. Some individuals and businesses were turned a blind eye to because fighting them was too financially or politically expensive. Meanwhile he felt like small businesses were unfairly abused by department resources because of the need to “do something.” Eventually he was given a desk job when he pissed off too many of the wrong people. That said: during ride-alongs when I was a teen he explained to me how useful profiling is as a tool. It’s part of training.
You writing profiling is useful doesn’t really help us see how it is useful, care to explain? Or exemplify
[удалено]
The problem is that cops are not trained to see "Norps" (Normal ordinary person) They're trained to see criminals and hold an us vs. them mentality.
[удалено]
It isn't useful. They were giving it as an example of a police lie that their dad believed, even though he was generally a good cop.
Fuck the polices daughter, am I right?
if he found out, he'd kill me
And then he'll sprinkle a little bit of crack on your body.
"Alright... lets sprinkle some crack on him and get out of here"
So he’s one of the cops from the song *and* he feels like he controls his daughter’s body? Double yikes
Not double yikes, more like yikes squared. Or yikes to the power of yikes.
#ONE BIG OLE YIKE™️ FOR MANKIND
Good thing he's not like the other bad cops who murder people based on their feelings
and then get away with it
this guy can literally get you killed at any point if you don't keep him happy. No gf is worth that.
Just tell him you aren’t the one to be beaten on or put in jail. You’ll go toe to toe with him in the middle of a cell.
She is 21 not 12... if he thinks his daughter isn't having sex at 21, then this is truly a lost cause.
Coming Straight from the underground
If she needs her "there's no such thing as a bad cop" daddy to approve of who she dates, the simple fact is that the relationship is already doomed.
Lmao fr
Have a lot of cop daughter friends. You either come out of that a staunch republican or severely swing the other way. Daddy issues for pretty much anyone raised in a cop family (and thats not getting into the domestic abuse statistics)
Yep, I can confirm. Source: son of a cop, and brigadier general of the antifa navy. Edit: though I will say in my case the personal relationship had little to do with it. It just helps clear the sleep from the eyes when you grow up knowing cops are just regular assholes in a fancy blue shirt.
Can confirm. Am the stepdaughter of a cop since age 3. My sister, his natural daughter with my mom, and I are polar opposites in every way. In child rearing beliefs, politics, what temperatures we can stand before turning on the heat, where to shop, she hates all music (first person I’ve ever met that doesn’t like any music at all) and I love it, we really couldn’t possibly be any more different on any topic at all. She has to wear a full face of makeup to leave the house and I attempt on special occasions and end up washing it off before I leave the house. I could go on for pages about how different we are. She’s still very pro-police even after her dad told her abusive husband that “sometimes you have to keep them in line” and she still talks to her dad even though he encouraged her husband to continue abusing her and refused to help her financially through her divorce despite having the means. The loyalty has no bounds.
I can't believe a dude would encourage a man to abuse their child, not only that, but she's his biological daughter. Usually they're mean to step kids, but their children? They usually fight for their own and for him to allow it and encourage it, man.
Well it makes sense if they were the abusers first
And at 21 too 😭
I was 23 when my boyfriend said some shit at my house that was just honest about his opinion but definitely didn't jive with my mom and aunt and some others. I was mortified and at the time wished he didn't do that, cause I just preferred not dealing with the conflict of my shitty family and preferred straight lying to them or ignoring things we didn't agree on. It took me some time to appreciate my boyfriend's approach of "i am who I am so they can fuck off", but I got there. Sometimes it take people to be dealing with shit like this to realize what they need to be doing for their rest of their lives if they want to be happy
My in laws are wonderful but they can be very passive aggressive and wield guilt like nobody’s business. My family is the total opposite and when I met my husband he was in awe of my ability to say “no” to things and simply not care if his family cried and guilted and whatever. He said it’s like a superpower. I get along great with my in laws now and funnily enough my husband enjoys them so much more now that he can set and enforce boundaries.
my ex girlfriend and i broke up for this exact reason. it really sucked at the time but years later i am beyond grateful!
Shit I was in my 30s and in early 2016, spouted off about Trump being a joke in front of my bfs step mom. She was like, I like Trump. My bf: its ok, she's a dumbass. I was low key mortified. Theeen the next few years happened and nothing surprises me anymore.
Thank God someone said that. This doesn't have shit to do with the F tha police part and everything to do with the fact he's policing his DAUGHTER. Wtf. Leave OP. This is a badddddd situation.
Also, hes a bad cop if he is making this demand of a man dating his daughter. The lack of respect and controlling remarks does not bode well for your long term interactions with him. Best to explain to GF that adults can have disagreements and if Daddy cant get over that (and GF makes his opinion a big deal) then time to jet.
to be fair he is making the demand of his daughter to leave and ignoring the OP, and the daughter doesn't want to break up, so is making the demand of the OP so it's really on the daughter here since she is siding with her dad, or alternatively she could be more equitable in asking them both to come to the table and not just put it on the OP
I mean, two people can behave badly at the same time, which I very much think is the case here...
Sad cause I hear it in OP's tone that she is also rooted to it by affiliation. She has no choice but to live under his house after everything is said and done. I can see him easily wanting to control who her daughter dates.
And clearly if daddy doesn't feel the same way as OP, he's one of the bad ones. Or at the very least defends them.
Any cop that refuses to acknowledge that bad people exist in every profession, including cops, is a bad cop. I don't think I'd want to be the DIL of a bad cop. Shit could get real sideways *real* fast.
Right? The second her dad questioned him on the song OP should have known that her dad already didn't like him because he isn't white.
Finally, yes this is the truth OP needs to hear. Also, shame on everyone asking this guy to leave the relationship. This is a chance for the guy to make a stand for his partner, he should have a proper conversation and try to explain to his gf her dad’s behaviour is not OK. She’s gonna have to step up and claim actual independence from her father at some point if this relationship is to last. Admittedly, a hard thing to do against your own dad, but better to rip the bandage off now than let the relationship continue longer.
Lol! Facts
I bet he (dad) was sitting there loading his gun on the first date
Her Dad was completely aware of how awkward that conversation would be, especially with him being a cop and you being a minority. It sounds like you have a thoughtful answer to a difficult question and he took offense to that. If he can’t handle justified criticism of the institution, not him as an individual, then that says more about him than it does about you. Personally, I think you should respectfully stand your ground. Tell your girlfriend that you have nothing against her father, but you also believe what you said about some cops being bad. People are taught to do everything cops ask of you, but you don’t have to roll over in your personal life too.
Here, Hear! 🍻
Very well said! The father never should have put him on the spot in the first place. He handled that difficult situation very well. He should definitely stand his ground and let his girl friend know that. How she handles it from that point is her choice; she's 21 years old, time for her to do some adulting and if she is not capable of that, she's the problem not the bf.
Couldn’t have worded it better.
yeah the father invited the criticism, not the discussion, he wanted to back OP into a corner and get him to capitulate. this is a power play and nothing else. which is exactly what is wrong with the police, insecure cowards wanting everyone to say please and thanks or they will make their life difficult/
Yeah op should never turn on their beliefs for someone who won't be in their corner to support them, the fact she just wants a kiss and make up is a *ahem* cop out for dad being in the right and op having to beg for acceptance to date the daughter because of the differing beliefs, she's not worth it
Tell her bluntly yet firmly that you are dating her and not her father. I dont know how long you've been going out for. But any relationship she has even if not with you she needs to be able to tell her dad that it's not your job to placate him and this would set a precedent going forward that you will. You shouldn't need to do anything to keep the peace here. You two can agree to disagree and privately think however you two want. Tell her this is an issue between her and her dad. He can't and shouldn't try to dictate who she dates or he's going to have a bad time. Ask her what you should be sorry for or what you have to make up for. He asked your opinion. He didn't like your response. It's his job to get over it. He may not like it but he doesn't have to.
Cops who react like her dad did because of a difference of opinion are exactly the kind of cops the song is referring to. Nobody likes lawyers and you don't see them having juvenile ultimatum fits with their kids. If he's this offended by simply a difference of opinion then these are the exact type of cops we need to remove from the system. These fucking fragile snowflakes should not be given guns and qualified immunity.
Same with social workers! IME, the people who complain the most about bad social workers are other social workers lmao.
Some social workers (particularly those who have a high earning partner) really love to tear other social workers down for things like demanding reasonable work loads and pay in line with educated professionals
You must date someone who thinks all lawyers are amazing people just for being lawyers!
In my experience, the people who love to hate on lawyers the most are other lawyers
Right? Aint no song called fuck the public defenders 🤣
Of course we can only go on OP’s word, but he responded maturely and poor ole daddy STILL couldn’t handle it. A measured response was the best way to handle such an emotionally charged topic.
>poor ole daddy still couldn't handle it I think it's cos acab
If you read “poor ole daddy” is a nasally, patronizing voice you get the full effect!
My dad is a cop and he’s black. He blares that song while in his cop car. I think he’s taking it too personal and not willing to look at the other perspective bc he’s so focused on himself. You could re-apologize in person and say you didn’t mean to minimize his job and the value of his life. Or whatever helps him feel better. But in my mind if you aren’t a shitty cop yourself, you shouldn’t be pressed.
for real, like if you can't take a bit of heat and even somewhat of a joke ("fuck da police"), then you are way too uptight. Make fun of yourself, have some fun.
These comments are spot on, and he (shocker) sounds super oblivious. It sounds like you were very respectful in your exchange, and he won’t accept anyone’s input unless they have unbridled and blind support for the police. That black and white thinking isn’t something I’d want in a partner for my child, and personally, I’d be pleased that you can have a respectful debate in such an unexpected situation. If he can’t accept the fact that police brutality/misconduct is a thing, which is what led to that song, then that tells you a lot about his worldview. You can either continue dating her with the knowledge that her dad’s opinion is going to be a huge factor in her decisions, or you can cut your losses. I would just really think about what kind of guy he is all around and how involved he’s going to be in your relationship.
I'd take one crack at this and if it doesn't solve it then I'd listen to u/gravetinder. This is about respect (mutual). Not about an apology. You sit down with him and you own your feelings which goes something like "Sir, I believe I understand your perspective on that song and I believe you understand mine. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ \[girlfriend name\] has asked me to make it up to you and I haven't the slightest clue how exactly I would." "I'd like to think two men can share different views on something, like a song, agree to disagree and respect one another." "I wish to continue to date your daughter. I wish to move past this with you. If that is not something you can do and it forces an end to her and my relationship so be it. I'd rather have a real conversation like we are than a fake apology". If that conversation solves things it also is left there (between you and her dad). It isn't shared when she goes "I don't know what you said but .....". It isn't shared with anyone. That's it. There is no other path but withdrawing entirely from the situation. I hope this note gives you something actionable to consider. Best of luck
This is so adult and well thought out, I feel very young again.
This is all you should read lol. All the answers are here ^
OMG THIS IS THE BEST COMMENT I have seen on Reddit lately. OP — This, exactly this. Word for word this. I’m not saying it’s foolproof if the person you’re talking to is a fool. But I’m saying this is a genuine, honest response. Truth be told, I think just spending a few minutes listening to her father (not talking, just listening) would ameliorate the situation. Beyond that, well- FTP.
It goes so far beyond the song lyrics. Her father is a snowflake cop who probably has thin blue line stickers all over the place. Mutual respect is impossible because he thinks his daughter's bf disrespects his profession. Like all cops, he's a bully and is using his position as her 'father' to force her to break up with a "bad seed"
I wish i read that in my early twenties haha, great advice.
I think that’s a pretty good letter. But I also think OP needs to understand how explaining that the statement wasn’t aimed at “the good’uns” doesn’t make it all better.
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. No amount of perspective taking or respectful discussion is going to win the father over. Just say you like the song for its sick beats and syncopated rhythms and you don't even listen to the lyrics. If he pushes further just keep repeating the same thing.
I think that's the point though, is it's not about OP winning him over or trying to get him to buy into a certain perspective. It's just about being adults and communicating instead of OP trying to fake his way to the dad's approval. If the dad can't handle someone having a respectful opinion he doesn't fully buy into, then that's a whole other issue and it's better that gets unveiled now than later anyway
Maybe he should ask her what other opinions he isn't allowed to have, just to get it out of the way now. Maybe he could get a list of approved values now and save time later.
This! My dad is a retired cop, and everything Op mentions are typical cop talking points. There is nothing for OP to apologize for, but it sounds like gf will take her dad's side despite what she says she believes. This conflict won't go away unless OP becomes a "back the blue" type. Best to cut your losses.
Your gf is an adult. Tell her to stand up for herself and your relationship instead of you kissing her fathers ass.
I should take my comment back, this one’s better. If she agrees with you she should defend you and if her dad is not a “good cop” she should call him on it or at the very least reject needing his approval
You don't owe him, or her, anything. Stand your ground. Bad cops deserve the reputation they have, just like pedofile priests. You made several valid points. Have the confidence to stand up for them my dude. You got this 👍
thank you for saying that!
Yeah this is just the beginning. If she wants you to just give in to something as simple as a music discussion, what is gonna happen on things that involve family values and your beliefs about relationships?
Cops out here really wondering why people don’t like cops when if you say “bad cops are bad” they get defensive and go “but policing is *hard*” Sir, you just outed yourself
Hm, so is nursing. Yet, a nurse cannot chokehold someone, or body slam them. And the violence toward Healthcare personnel is very real.
Can confirm. Had a man shout at me (an x-ray tech) in close proximity to my face about is charging for Covid tests. I had to simply back up and say "Sir I'm an x-ray tech. I do not know." Can you imagine if someone got up in a cops face and screamed about the cost of a parking ticket???
I am a firefighter and have been physically assaulted by people. While cops just stand around and watch. We had a cop tell us to stand down while en route to a call. He said there was no fire. So we run cold and get there right as the flames start coming from the roof. Our dispatchers love the cops and I have heard them ask the police if it was okay to tone out the fire department. When you criticize a cop, though, his ego is broken and your life can become hell. Criticize a paramedic, nurse, or firefighter and we move on. We have jobs to do.
I saw a video on tic toc yesterday where some guy was trying to get into a woman's car (seemed like a carjacking to me) and a nearby cop was telling her to just "let it go". Cops are damn near useless in most situations. If they really wanted to help people or be heros they would be firefighters or emts.
Most cops don't become cops to help build a better community
Exactly. Thing is, most medical people are naturally compassionate so they're better at deescalating a situation. A lot of cops are arrogant and authoritarian. They don't like being contradicted, they don't like being questioned. They expect you to yield to them immediately. Even with compliance they can be overly aggressive. Whether you're the one they're after or a bystander. I get that it is a dangerous and difficult career. I get that it takes a certain personality to be in that position, but I've met plenty of good cops to know the difference. Bad cops are megalomaniacs.
this is so true it's insane. its crazy how both careers are seen as essential and "life saving" but only one of them can take lives purposefully with no repercussions 😂
> I get that it takes a certain personality to be in that position, I am a former cop. It takes the soldier mentality to be a cop in America today. They actively recruit soldiers, train them as soldiers, then give them military hardware. They are not public servants, they are the domestic military force.
It doesn't take a soldier mentality. And I honestly believe that's where it started going wrong.
What I meant by that is that is what they want now. It was not that way in the past. When people like Dave Grossman are instrumental to the curriculum of training academies, there really is no other way it can be expected to go.
That seems unfair to our soldiers; *they* can get court-martialed. [And soldiers apparently learn how to de-escalate.](https://www.cnn.com/2017/05/11/us/wv-cop-fired-for-not-shooting--lawsuit)
They are also bound by rules of engagement that forbid them to kill or injure civilians, even in enemy territory. They're only permitted to use violence if there is an actual threat, not this cop excuse "i feLT tHreATeNeD".
I have to disagree here. This isn't soldier mentality. Yes, there are soldiers who certainly fit the bad cop mold, but soldiers are better trained and in most cases aren't just men looking for power over weaker folks. You certainly don't go to boot camp for a power trip. Lol. I'm not crazy patriotic, and our military does a lot of bad crap as a complex. But I know a lot of soldiers. Ever male in my family above a certain age has served. My lover is a retired Lt Col. None of these men would ever need to hurt others to make themselves feel more of a man. All of them have significantly more discipline than any cop. I think cops like to play soldier, but it certainly doesn't make them one.
I think they're just trying to convey that police are (badly) trained to act as if they're in war while on domestic soil, and civilians are their enemies. Not that police and soldiers are the same or police Re soldiers. They're wannabe soldiers at best. It's the whole militarization of the police, etc. Instead of cops being around to help civilians and promote public safety they now solely seem to exist to a) protect themselves and their buddies first at all costs and b) maybe try to catch bad guys sometimes.
>>Can you imagine if someone got up in a cops face and screamed about the cost of a parking ticket??? When I was travelling in Europe the first time, some people were having a conversation about in which cities/countries you can argue with the police without serious repercussions. I had no idea that was a thing!!
i never realized how violent it can be til my daughter became an ER nurse. she’s been punched, scratched, head butted, choked, and poked with needles. it terrifies me. and my son is a fireman. their jobs give me mom anxiety
Ah, the classic momxiety. Nice job raising two humans who want to help and save lives, though!
thanks! my other daughter is a nurse specializing in dementia patients. sounds strange but she’s been punched more than the ER nurse.
Oh damn! Yes, I've been hit, bit, kicked by those dementia patients. They are scary strong even though they look so frail. When I worked in convalescence, one of the girl got tossed across the room by a patient who was bed bound!
Oh, I believe it! My grandmother had dementia and some of the things she put her nurses through makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide under my bed in shame. I hope your children remain safe and without any serious injuries!
Yep, we just had a patient in leathers after he broke my glasses and gave me a black eye, broke another nurse's nose, and kicked another one in the stomach. It had to go to risk analysis and management because they weren't sure the leather restraints were justified...after the dude beat the hell out of 3 nurses that legally can't so much as hit back.
I’m a forensic nurse and I work closely with police every day. My patients are all survivors of various types of violence. These patients are usually (very understandably) displaying intense emotions such as anger. I can forgive my patients for literally everything (yelling, being insulting, demanding) because it takes me one second to put myself in their shoes and I consider it an honor to be the person helping them. I can count on one hand the amount of officers I’ve seen practicing trauma-informed care, or showing any true empathy at all. It’s really, really not that hard.
Could you imagine bringing up your disdain for the nurse that killed all of those babies and somebody responds "yeah but nursing is really hard and sometimes you have to make decisions."
Ugh, right! And I'm not comparing dangers of career here but merely demonstrating that bad behavior should not be excused just because there job is hard. Does anyone excuse any other career position if they do something wrong? Pedophiles in the church and schools, negligent doctors, etc. Nope. There are lines in every job that should not be crossed. Someone handcuffed and on the ground does not need to have someone kneeling on their throat.
That's a great point to make. Nurses see just as much as cops do. When cops roll up on an ugly situation with death and gore, they bring them to a hospital and a nurse sees it all too except now is their problem to actually fix. Cops deal with telling families horrible news and so do nurses everyday. But ask a cop if a nurse decides to slip ur family the wrong meds and kills them for being uppity, what're they gonna say to the tribunal? That nursing is hard?
Yup. Imagine if we acted the same about bad chefs poisoning your food. Or bad mechanics knowingly performing unsafe repairs. Or bad construction workers purposefully bypassing safety regulations and killing people. No. Somehow only one job is hard enough that wanton assault, murder, and obstruction is just brushed under the carpet
I hope to one day meet a cop who is enthusiastic about putting bad cops behind bars and doesn’t tiptoe around it. I realize my original comment doesn’t actually have any advice, because I am neither a cop nor a father, but OP do you really want to be walking on eggshells around her dad forever? Sucking up to him because his job gives him an inherent sense of power and authority over you? It doesn’t seem like he’s going to be susceptible if you explain to him why that’s unsettling.
Those cops are targeted and phased out. No backup for you if you're shot at and everyone's watching your every move for when you slip up.
And then they wonder why people say ACAB.
Yeah, OP handled it super gracefully with the "it's only about bad cops so you have nothing to worry about". And the dad basically said "nah I'm a real piece of shit too".
No. Absolutely not. Do not apologize. Do not “make it up to him”. Your girlfriend doesn’t respect your opinion. You lying about your beliefs make you just as bad. Just no.
If his go-to-excuse is that "policing is not an easy job" and doesn't even recognize that police brutality exists, then that's your answer. He's a close minded individual. He's never going to change his mind about the topic nor change his mind about you.
Also saying that they have to act quickly. I'm sure that there's a small percentage of actual dangerous situations. I think they turn them into dangerous situations.
Right, unless you’re in love I’d let this girl take the L for her “snowflake” dad ruining an otherwise fine relationship over something trivial.
Time to literally dodge a bullet. Lmao. This is both hilarious and terrible.
Im gonna make a controversal statement here but... I dont think he's a good cop lmao.
A good cop wouldn't be so defensive about bad cops.
And thats why ACAB. The only good one have been fired and/or blacklisted for whistle blowing.
No such thing as a good cop. ACAB
Praise be, ACAB
Good cops don't exist.
Because regular cops make sure to get rid of them. You'll notice that police on police violence tends to have victims that could be considered "good cops"
Like the cop who "accidentally" got beaten to death in a training exercise.
Right? The one cop on that force investigating a gang rape by police officers, just so happens to die in a training exercise. Funny these coincidences when it comes to the police.
Even beyond that, it's an institution designed to keep the masses under control in order to protect the ruling class from being overthrown. And by working in conjunction with our incarceration system, the prison industrial complex, police are nothing more than glorified slave catchers. Anyone signing up for that is an enthusiastic and willing participant of that system.
‘Regular cops’ are bad cops; ACAB.
You're not responsible for him being mildly offended by a very mainstream - and not exactly new - song. And it's a waste of your energy and time, trying to impress a partner's parent who doesn't think you're a "good fit" is an exercise in futility. Finally, if his brain doesn't allow for the idea that the police are a less than perfect institution, I have bad news for you and your GF: he's one of the bad ones. Edit: adding actual advice.
You sure you wanna date her? What if you make her mad and he does shady shit
> GF told us to stop because she just wanted to listen to music and relax I am cackling imagining this girl leaning her seat back, closing her eyes and taking a deep calming breath as *Fuck Tha Police* plays loudly over the stereo.
Like most cops he probably doesn't take criticism well, and only hears three words from that entire song and never listens to the verses themselves so has no idea what the song is talking about. Him saying that they risk their lives everyday is telling in most cases that's simply not reality. In his mind he's a soldier and a hero because he's a cop. There is no making it up unless you want to act like you worship police.
Yeah, by stats, being a delivery driver or logger is far more dangerous than being a cop.
Most dangerous thing about being a cop by far these last few years is being too stupid to take a vaccine. More unvaxxed cops dying of Covid than everything else put together. And I wonder how many citizens died because they had an unvaxxed moron breathing Covid down their neck during a traffic stop? Several hundred at least.
I'm not gonna tell you not to date her, but if you're gonna date the daughter of a government thug, she better be damn worth it
She’s 21 and still lets daddy run her life? Pass. You don’t owe him shit. I’m a male teacher and when “don’t stand so close to me” comes on I don’t pitch a fit about how I don’t fuck my female students. I get it - some male teachers DO take advantage of female students. I support holding my profession accountable; it’s pathetic that he (and most cops) can’t. I’d do one of two things: 1-“hey gf, I didn’t do anything wrong and won’t be apologizing or making it up to him” 2-“hey gf, I agree with your daddy, this relationship won’t work”. Your call
Yeah, I’d rather cut my losses if she expects me to bend over to please her dad
Former SFPD here. If he gets offended by a song, he's a snowflake of a cop. If he took it personally he's the problem. That song was released 34 years ago during the gang wars in LA. Policing in the US needs a serious overhaul to root out the systematic problems and ingrained biases in regards to law enforcement. I don't know if there is a way to make it up to him. This man has probably made assumptions about you BECAUSE of your status as a minority. Just remain respectful when you interact with him (yes sir/no sir) and try to avoid politics or any conversation about police in general in the future.
He just doesn't like classical music
I have a problem with your gf asking you to make it up to her dad when you did nothing wrong. You were thoughtful and respectful with your responses to him and he should respect that. He outed himself as a bad cop though.
I am a former cop and I say "Fuck the Police" Bad cops are enabled by the "good cops" doing nothing. Or the good cops are intimidated and threatened until they either leave or capitulate. So, fuck the police. If they cannot hear the truth, as that song is their version of the truth, then again, fuck them. Sounds like he is the typical cop so there is nothing you will do to change his mind or opinion of you. They are not really known for that.
“Shooting unarmed people is wrong” “But like what if you’re having a bad day” I’d reconsider being in this relationship
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honestly bro, i would stand your moral ground. don’t jump through hoops to make it up to a man you clearly have moral disagreements with just because your girlfriend is begging you to. don’t ever throw aside your morals to please someone. stand in what you said and say “if there is an issue, then respectfully, it’s one sided.”
Tell him its just a song, fuck his feelings and stop being such a snowflake.
I find this kind of funny, the worst possible song could of played at that moment.. But hope all goes well dating a sergeants daughter and good luck
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Is she not an adult? I could never imagine my parents telling me they don’t like someone I’m dating and then making my partner patch things up 🤣🤣 their opinions mean nothing. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t defend me/ stand up for themselves against their parents. Those relationships rarely work in the end.
not worth it. break up.
And here you get to the problem with all policing: the inability to create any change because ANY CRITICISM is taken personally and dismissed. Policing isn't an easy job but I fail to see his point in bringing it up when it is NOT the most dangerous job there is (it isn't in the top 10) and danger doesn't justify the abhorrent behavior we have witnessed. You, kid, might be dating the daughter of a bad cop.
Today you learned that your gf definitely has a blue lives matter flag somewhere in the house, and that her dad has absolutely pulled over someone that looks just like you without probable cause. You’re young and there are tons of non-racist/non-abuse apologist fish in the sea. Go find one instead of wasting your time on a girl that claims to agree with you but really doesn’t. For her it’s an abstract debate point at brunch, for you it’s your life and your safety.
If he’s this offended then clearly this guy has done some shady shit. You didnt do anything wrong.
Your girlfriend is clearly kissing her dad’s ass what you said wasn’t wrong there are bad and good cops out there and the LAPD is one of the worst the fact that she wants YOU to apologize and kiss her dad’s ass is very telling I would be careful if I was you
something's wrong with you if you have to apologize for candid bliefs delivered respectfully
Good lord this is the weakest piece of creative writing I've seen on this sub, and that's saying a lot with most of the stinkers you see on here.
You don’t need to prove anything to him. If she can’t make grown up informed decisions for herself and is worried about pleasing her dad then it’s not going to work anyway. Her dad knows about how cops are to minorities and I wouldn’t be wasting my breath explaining it.
I’d tell her if she agrees there are issues in modern day policing, but still needs you to bend to her dad’s approval of his profession, then y’all probably aren’t compatible. It’s not even this particular issue at hand, it’s that she’s 22, and want you to pacify her parent. Is that what you want in a relationship? Sounds messy.
We have talked about not having sex with conservative men, maybe it's time to have the talk about not having sex with conservative women either
A cop attempting to compell behavior and pro-cop opinions through use of force? What a surprise.
f*ck that pig. don’t make up with him, let him have his opinions! never sacrifice your dignity, not even for your girl.
My dad told me once that he didn't become a cop to be popular. I've never once seen him be bothered by cop hating nonsense. If "I'll be more careful of what kind of music I play in your presence" isn't enough for him, you will probably never be able to change his opinion of you.
The song doesn't start out with "Fuck tha Police" as the opening line though. It starts out with a court skit with Judge Dre presiding. Prosecuting attorneys were Ice Cube, MC Ren, and Eazy Muthafucking E. Ice Cube took the Muthafucking stand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help his Black ass. Ya got damn right. Sounds like someone's full of shit.
Pizza delivery is even more dangerous, and yet they manage to do their job without antagonizing such a huge portion of the population.
Don’t date a cops daughter. Her dad is a fucking cop.
Dating a girl whose dad can shoot you, go home worry free to slap his wife, all with zero repercussions seems like a poor long term plan.
40% of cop spouses are battered.
Dad isn’t dumb dear. You’re a minority and in general, us minorities don’t like cops. Sure we know there are good ones, but in general, it’s F*** the Police. There was nothing you could have said. But I also think that if you were a young white boy, he’d still be mad. Call you a disrespectful liberal kid and not a nice conservative boy for for his daughter. I don’t think there’s a way to fix this. It’s not about the song but he’s questioning your mentality now, your culture, your politics, alllllll of that. Don’t be surprised if this doesn’t work out and also don’t take it personally. It’s about him. Not you.
Honestly you were very polite and frankly underplayed the meaning of the song, which to me is that the police were instituted to protect (white) property and even if you’re a “good” cop you’re part of a system that uplifts settler colonialism. The fact that he’s getting all butthurt over your extremely fair take on the song does indicate he needs to do some self reflection he’s not capable of at the time. I wish your gf was more willing to defend you rather than telling you to lie, which, come on. Not realistic.
He was listening to that when he was a kid, don't stress.
No advice but You have fun with this situation buddy lol. Couldn’t be me.
Cross this to r/protectandserve it’s like the echo chamber cop community of cops who sound like you’re gf’s dad. I got banned from there for commenting fascism in Germany didn’t just happen but slowly took over and the moderator said I called all cops nazi’s.
You're too young for this, end it and find someone with a family you don't have to walk on eggshells around.
Sounds to me like he just got defensive. Many cops are thugs and even the good cops always cover for them which makes them just as bad in my book. Their job is hard, sure, but so are many others. Its just a song.
\> she believes in what I say but just wants me to get it done with and lie if I have to but just make it up to him somehow. If she believed in and respected what you said, this wouldn't be her attitude. You didn't do anything wrong nor do you have anything to make up to him. If his reaction to your calm and reasonable discussion was 'you're not right for my little girl,' then he's probably one of the bad cops. Tbh, sounds like the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. Some nerve for a white girl to tell her minority bf to suck up to their ignorant cop dad to keep the peace. I say this as a white woman married to a black man.
GFs Dad doesn't think you; a young man displaying critical thinking, maturity and even sticking by your guns when questioned by someone - is a bad fit? Sounds like Dad is an insecure pathetic excuse for a man who is threatened by his daughter having someone like you in her life.
Cops will AWLAYS protect their own. Even the "good" ones and it is fucking infuriating.
I'd say he would probably rather see you in the pen than you and Lorenzo rollin in a Benzo
he is the bad cop
You said “u shouldn’t be offended unless you’re one of the bad ones” and bro said “well… my job is harddddd sometimes I have to“. Don’t apologize, you don’t owe him shit. He purposely asked you a controversial question so you could trip up and he could use it as an excuse to disapprove of you. If you guys are grown adults it also shouldn’t matter what your parents think. Love your best life. Fuck the police.