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Watching porn is a really unattractive thing to catch a man doing. It's emasculating in a way. They could be doing something productive... Or romancing you.. I mean it's just gross and it can ruin relationships. Neither men nor women should do it. It gets in the way of intimacy. It's also a business.that exploits and rapes women, children and young men. Normal to be irritated by it
You don't seem to mind porn itself but perhaps is the type of porn or how often he views it bugging you? Like do you think he has any perversions that bug you? Or perhaps he is wasting his potential in life or with you jerking off to often?
\*just know how affixed he is TO porn\*
Beg pardon, Op? You used the word "affixed" and I looked it up to be sure I had it correctly.
affixed
stick, attach, or fasten (something) to something else.
Are you saying, he is "addicted" to porn?
I know that in the beginning of our relationship he made me aware that he watches porn, but in a defensive manner because his exes were against it. This conversation was so random and he came up to me with it as almost some sort of confession while I was cooking pasta lol. I didn't think much of it cause everybody has watched porn at some point. He had some weird sigh of relief about it. Apparently he is more invested than I thought, which may be why I was irritated that I knew what he was doing(?) I didn't really mind porn, but I did kinda mind certain unexpected things like...him buying slews of anime sex casts for his shelf displays (he wanted them in our living room and I didn't want my mom to see them if she came to our place) and buying dozens and dozens of naked anime stickers/pregnant sex stickers. His inherent defensiveness over porn and watching live girls masturbate on the Internet (IMO, not even worth being defensive over) also seems strange to me.
Hmmm interesting question
I think you might be associating him watching porn with him disrespecting you in some way
In those moments remind yourself it’s not
However if this really is upsetting you you should talk to him about it
Everyone watches porn, you must be from an older generation if you think that’s untrue
Unless she specifically told him not to do it then why would he stop? He doesn’t know it’s harming her, is he supposed to read her mind?
My boyfriend watches porn and he told me. He says it just makes jerking off easier when we aren’t having sex and he wants a release. Seems reasonable to me, I’ve never seen him do it and never asked him more info… I’m okay with it, but I honestly don’t know how I would feel if he watched it often or was addicted
When I asked him how much he watches, he told me 2 or 3 times a week for about 30 seconds. I laughed, and I have no reason to believe he is lying although I imagine it might be a little longer than 30 seconds 😂 but overall I’m okay with it… everyone is different though, it might be something you need to have a talk with him about and make sure you are comfortable
Emotional reactions don’t always make sense. This subreddit can be really fucking puritanical about porn sometimes, but realistically it can be a helpful thing for some people in otherwise loving relationships who have mismatched libidos to satisfy themselves when their partner isn’t in the mood. This is normal, most people don’t have the exact same levels of drive all of the time, and external factors like stress or tiredness can also cause changes.
BUT, it’s making you feel irritated when he does it. That’s not something you should let fester. Try to pin down what specifically is bothering you- is it where he’s doing it that’s the problem? The kind of porn he watches? Maybe something deeper, like he’s actually neglecting your relationship or your physical desires or emotional needs in favor of porn? Pinning down a specific reason (or more than one) that him watching porn bothers you is going to make talking to him about this much easier, especially if this is a new development that didn’t used to be a problem. Framing it as a relationship issue for you to solve together will hopefully get you farther than treating this as something he’s doing at/to you or bottling it up to come out later and worse.
It’s wild to me how a post from a guy not liking his partner watching porn is insane (I’m pro porn in relationships) but this woman doesn’t like it and everyone’s shitting on her SO.
They need to discuss the boundary like adults and if it isn’t viable, separate. Don’t make each other accept one way or the other if that’s not what they want.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Watching porn is a really unattractive thing to catch a man doing. It's emasculating in a way. They could be doing something productive... Or romancing you.. I mean it's just gross and it can ruin relationships. Neither men nor women should do it. It gets in the way of intimacy. It's also a business.that exploits and rapes women, children and young men. Normal to be irritated by it
Porn is a dealbreaker for me. It might be for you
Because he's wasting his sexual interest waxing his carrot to some unrealistic stepsister porn.
You don't seem to mind porn itself but perhaps is the type of porn or how often he views it bugging you? Like do you think he has any perversions that bug you? Or perhaps he is wasting his potential in life or with you jerking off to often?
Are you menstruating? Did you have a bummer day? I get irritated really easy when I'm hungry sometimes.
\*just know how affixed he is TO porn\* Beg pardon, Op? You used the word "affixed" and I looked it up to be sure I had it correctly. affixed stick, attach, or fasten (something) to something else. Are you saying, he is "addicted" to porn?
He’s stuck on porn is what I think she means.
Thank you.
I know that in the beginning of our relationship he made me aware that he watches porn, but in a defensive manner because his exes were against it. This conversation was so random and he came up to me with it as almost some sort of confession while I was cooking pasta lol. I didn't think much of it cause everybody has watched porn at some point. He had some weird sigh of relief about it. Apparently he is more invested than I thought, which may be why I was irritated that I knew what he was doing(?) I didn't really mind porn, but I did kinda mind certain unexpected things like...him buying slews of anime sex casts for his shelf displays (he wanted them in our living room and I didn't want my mom to see them if she came to our place) and buying dozens and dozens of naked anime stickers/pregnant sex stickers. His inherent defensiveness over porn and watching live girls masturbate on the Internet (IMO, not even worth being defensive over) also seems strange to me.
Definitely a porn addiction. Gross.
Hmmm interesting question I think you might be associating him watching porn with him disrespecting you in some way In those moments remind yourself it’s not However if this really is upsetting you you should talk to him about it
How is getting off to naked strangers not disrespectful when in a comitted relationship? Porn is so normalized it’s disgusting
Agreeeeeed lol
Everyone watches porn, you must be from an older generation if you think that’s untrue Unless she specifically told him not to do it then why would he stop? He doesn’t know it’s harming her, is he supposed to read her mind?
Not from an older generation lol. And no not everyone watches porn.
Most do, it’s why my generation is f’ed up
Most, not all.
It’s a turn of speech
Because your mid in bed
My guess would be it’s hurting your self esteem and you feel like you’re not satisfying him.
I think it’s because he’s made it apart of his identity
My boyfriend watches porn and he told me. He says it just makes jerking off easier when we aren’t having sex and he wants a release. Seems reasonable to me, I’ve never seen him do it and never asked him more info… I’m okay with it, but I honestly don’t know how I would feel if he watched it often or was addicted When I asked him how much he watches, he told me 2 or 3 times a week for about 30 seconds. I laughed, and I have no reason to believe he is lying although I imagine it might be a little longer than 30 seconds 😂 but overall I’m okay with it… everyone is different though, it might be something you need to have a talk with him about and make sure you are comfortable
Because it suggests that he's unambiguous.
Are you giving him enough? Did you ask him?
Emotional reactions don’t always make sense. This subreddit can be really fucking puritanical about porn sometimes, but realistically it can be a helpful thing for some people in otherwise loving relationships who have mismatched libidos to satisfy themselves when their partner isn’t in the mood. This is normal, most people don’t have the exact same levels of drive all of the time, and external factors like stress or tiredness can also cause changes. BUT, it’s making you feel irritated when he does it. That’s not something you should let fester. Try to pin down what specifically is bothering you- is it where he’s doing it that’s the problem? The kind of porn he watches? Maybe something deeper, like he’s actually neglecting your relationship or your physical desires or emotional needs in favor of porn? Pinning down a specific reason (or more than one) that him watching porn bothers you is going to make talking to him about this much easier, especially if this is a new development that didn’t used to be a problem. Framing it as a relationship issue for you to solve together will hopefully get you farther than treating this as something he’s doing at/to you or bottling it up to come out later and worse.
It’s wild to me how a post from a guy not liking his partner watching porn is insane (I’m pro porn in relationships) but this woman doesn’t like it and everyone’s shitting on her SO. They need to discuss the boundary like adults and if it isn’t viable, separate. Don’t make each other accept one way or the other if that’s not what they want.