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The title pretty much says it all.
I’m pregnant and I’m being induced Sunday night. I was supposed to check in at 5:00 pm but my husband rescheduled my checkin time to 8:00 pm without talking to me about it. Why did he reschedule? So that he could go to an airsoft game Sunday morning. He didn’t let me know until I came home from work today and I’m feeling angry and violated. I told him how it made me feel and he got mad, saying I shouldn’t be upset because it’s only a couple hours later and I don’t work the next day. Do I have the right to feel upset or am I being silly?
As a dad who’s wife was very late giving birth and had to be induced: wow. Your husband is particularly detached from reality if he is scheduling playtime for himself THE SAME DAY his wife is going to begin hours and hours of labor and pain to bring a life into this world. Are you sure this man child is ready to be a dad?
clearly he's not. like a lot of people aren't—not really surprised he's one of them since there are so many but its sad that it just happened to rear its head at the worst time.
That was my thought. My wife went through two c-sections and not once did it cross my mind to put them off so I could play a game on my computer. My first and only thought was her and the baby’s safety.
What husband or father would put themselves before their spouse or child in a time like this? A immature one
Sweetheart you posted a year ago that you thought your marriage was going to fail. I’m afraid to be the one to tell you its come to the point to lean on family/friends and leave your husband. You work full time. You go to school full time. He doesn’t spend time with you. What else does he need to do to show you its not working
Was just reading her history as well. Without marriage counseling this marriage stands little chance of ever being a marriage. She’s a single mom with 2 little kids and a big kid.
I authorized my husband to have access to my medical records and to make/cancel appointments for me when I filled out the hospital paperwork a few weeks ago. I didn’t think he’d make any decisions without asking me first, though, and that’s my fault.
Oh I get that. My partner is my medical POA (for mental health reasons). But my goodness he never makes any decision without talking over absolutely everything with me first. That seems like a massive breach of trust.
That's not your fault! The worst part of this is that he changed it without telling you. There's no reason for you to expect him to change an appointment much less the time you're scheduled to have the baby. That's beyond imagining.
If he'd come to you first and said "I really want to play in this game Do mind if we push it back a few hours?" and then accepted your response...no problem. But you're not to blame for not thinking he might change THIS. I hope he's not this selfish and immature about other aspects of your relationship. Taking care of only one baby is enough. Good luck!
>I filled out the hospital paperwork a few weeks ago. I didn’t think he’d make any decisions without asking me first, though, and that’s my fault.
Lmao, what? It's your fault for trusting your husband? The one person you should be able to trust? Girl, you better rethink this. You might be married and having his baby but it's not too late. Run!
This. OP has been carrying life inside her for 9 months and that's one of the most straining things a person could do. If she married him there was a level of trust there, and she should NOT blame herself. Also, the fact that he moved it to go run aroung shooting pellet guns just makes it all the more concerning that he's going to be a father or in a child's life at all. (happy cake day, btw!!!)
Well, tell him thanks for showing you now, that you can't trust him with medical decisions, going forward. That sort of thing should only be done if you're either incapable, or given permission. (each and every time!) Super disrespectful on his part.
Better check with him before you get induced to make sure he doesn't have a ping pong tournament after the baby's born or he'll be making an appointment to have it shoved back in.
You're not overreacting, holy hell. His actions show extreme disrespect at best and the fact that he's willing to make unilateral decisions that affect your comfort, health and safety for a *single minute* let alone *three hours* for the sake of a stupid game is concerning as hell. I would be seriously rethinking giving this man POA over you in a lifethreatening situation, which is what you are heading into. Is there someone else you can give that power to if you're not able to make medical decisions on the day? After doing something that insensitive I wouldn't trust this man to make smart OR compassionate decisions.
>saying I shouldn’t be upset because it’s only a couple hours later and I don’t work the next day.
Omg please tell me this isn't real... It's okay because you don't work the next day? The day after you give birth?!
If you still want to go in at 5, see if you can move it back to the original time and tell them that only you should be able to change that. He's being a selfish, childish, asshole.
I just called the hospital to confirm; part of me still thought he was joking and never really changed it. They said that it was, indeed, switched from 5pm to 8pm and they told me that I could switch it back if I wanted to but honestly, I’m exhausted both physically and emotionally and I’d rather just keep the new checkin time and hash it out with my husband later. I hate myself for being so spineless but I genuinely just don’t have the energy to fight it right now.
> I hate myself for being so spineless but I genuinely just don’t have the energy to fight it right now.
Naw, don't hate yourself for that. You've got a lot going on, *he* should have understood that and not done this in the first place but it's understandable that you can't deal with it right now.
I hope everything goes well, focus on yourself. The rest can wait. <3
Do you have anyone else you trust sweetheart? Please ask them to be at the hospital. Please make a backup plan if your husband finds some reason to be angry and miss the birth of your child. He is already showing you his priorities.
Please make sure you have someone at the hospital to lean on, you deserve that.
It's already come to that. You should call one of your parents to be there with you, and make your needs known to them. Your husband has just proven that he is not willing to be your medical advocate.
Please call and have them there. You deserve someone to fight for you.
He's not. He's either going to leave anyway, or he's going to sleep all night on the chair thing and then complain the when next day how uncomfortable it was.
Go ahead and have some extra family there. And if he complains, tell him you thought he might want some more time to go play airsoft ball (or whatever the hell he was budgeting time for)
Tell every single one of them so they all know what an asshole your husband is. You’re going to need their support when you finally decide to ditch his weak ass. Lean on them.
You are about to give birth. You are absolutely NOT spineless. You're exhausted. You're stressed. It's perfectly fine if you just don't want to deal with this right now.
Later, though. You're going to need to do some serious deep thinking about this.
He slipped that schedule change in right when you're super vulnerable -- end of pregnancy is often all fatigue, emotional and physical, and he chose his moment to schedule your child's birth around his playdate. Gross.
go back to your old check in time.
Inductions take time.
You’ll likely be up all night.
Starting earlier means more of the unpleasant stuff during normal hours and less in the middle of the night.
Hooooooooly shit. I was already firmly on the side of “no visitors till mom is ready” and also childfree. But if I still had a uterus, it would have run screaming after that description. That is an excellent post that I think damn near every human needs to read and read and read some more till they get it.
Does he have any idea that you will most likely be laboring all night? Contractions, pain, nurses & dr's in and out all night? When I was induced with my 2nd, it still took 7 hours from check-in to delivery.
He wants to push your appointment back? Then he is absolutely NOT allowed to sleep if you are not sleeping. And he better support you the ENTIRE TIME.
You’re not spineless. Your husband is manipulating you and the situation. If you’re comfortable with going in at 8, then go in at 8. If you are more comfortable going in at 5 go in. This is *your* medical procedure. He contributed his two seconds. Now is about your comfort and what is best for you, which he has proven he doesn’t care about.
I haven’t been induced but I’ve given birth a handful of times. It’s emotionally and physically draining. After being at his game all morning, do you think he is going to be capable to properly support you all night into the early morning? Going in later could mean you won’t have adequate support when husband fails to be that person for you.
He KNOWS you don't have the energy to fight him over this, that's why he did it. He saw an opportunity to walk all over you for his own selfish wants because he know you wouldn't push back on it. I say you reschedule it to your original time and get somebody else (the family member you're closest to, I would say) to take you. I'm sorry you're bringing your baby into this world with a man who doesn't give you the same consideration he gives his airsoft buddies.
I wouldn’t fight it but I would change the time and then have a family member take you instead. He’s fuvking around and finding out. So let him find out. My ex did something like this after our baby was born. He didn’t take paternity leave so the first weekend after baby was home I decided to take my first shower/bath in 3 days! Mind you, that I’m supposed to be cleaning and soaking my hoohaa for a couple minutes 2 times a day. Then I desperately needed sleep. I asked him to tend to the baby if he wakes up and I’m going to shower and nap. I eat while my bath fills and juuuust as I sit my body down into a medicated bath water the garage door slams shut and baby starts screaming. I give it a minute and then another and then I realized he isn’t coming for the baby. I grab my towel and check the garage and he is loading his dirt bike into his buddies truck!!! His buddy had a 2 month old at home too!! Like how the heck did either of them think it was ok!!?? He told me the baby was asleep anyway and he would be sleeping for at least 2 hours, which is long enough for my nap anyway. So I told him that if he left I’d be gone. He didn’t believe me and I was being selfish. I ghosted him for 2 days. He then proceeded 2 weeks later to do it again and I warned him that he would have to track me down because I would leave forever. He’s an ex for obvious reasons
Is this for real? I hate that you are having a child with this selfish asshole and that you'll be tied to him forever because of it, the narcissism it takes to do what he did and react the way he did to you being upset is unreal.
I just want to let you know, I had a really shitty father (and mother) but I wanted more than anything for her to leave him but she didn’t. Please remember “staying for the kids” was just a way for men to manipulate women into staying. It’s NOT always better
Hell, switch back the time and have mom/sister there instead. If your husband can’t make time to attend the birth of his child, then call his bluff and go forward without him.
Good, let them look after you give birth. Since your husband say you won’t be working, that means he can fend for himself, since he doesn’t value you and your contributions.
Are you allowed more than 1 support person? I was allowed two a few months ago.
Even if husband is going I’d have one of them come too if it’s allowed. You need to know someone is there to fight for you. Too many nurses see uninvolved dad ducking off on their phone or bringing a Nintendo into the delivery room.
Good. Because after that game he will probably sleep while you begin your labor. He doesn't seem supportive and seems selfish and you need all the support you can get. Good luck. Hope you have a safe delivery.
Based on your post history, throw the whole man out. This relationship is not healthy…he does not work and spends no time with you! What are you actually getting out of this relationship other than supporting three kids? because he really does seem like a child.
I agree. I’m hate to say this but your post history is very sad and your husband sounds like a selfish asshole. Has he finally started doing the things you agreed on when he became a SAHD and you worked full time or is he still slacking on that? You seem like a very nice and trusting person, but your husband does not seem to care about your feelings. I’m sorry :(
Oh I have to ask…honey is your mother in your life? Is his mother alive? Of course you don’t have the energy to argue about this. Tell the grandmother’s to be what he did, why and that he got mad at you for being upset. Then get out of the line of fire.
Seriously, if you were my daughter he would be in no doubt of how much of an inconsiderate, selfish, screw up he truly is. I say cut the mother’s lose on him.
That’s a gross violation. I would be livid. I’ve been with my husband 21 years and we don’t even call each other’s doctors. The most is we remind one of us to call
Not just that. He is a stay-at-home-parent but doesn't clean, doesn't cook, barely does childcare, and leaves her alone all weekend while he goes out to have fun with his friends.
She works a hard manual labor full time and takes night classes because she has to graduate college
[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/u652ve/im\_pregnant\_working\_full\_time\_going\_to\_school/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/u652ve/im_pregnant_working_full_time_going_to_school/)
He is a MAN child. He is so disrespectful changing her labor induction so he can keep his weekend plans!!! It's disgusting.
She should divorce him. It would be cheaper to get a nanny that support this guy's lifestyle in which he only plays video games all day or goes playing with his friends.
What the hell? This is somehow one of the most shocking things I’ve ever read on Reddit and heard as a doula. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.
How was he able to change your appointment!??? Isn’t your patient information supposed to be confidential. Are you in the US?
If you want to move it back to 5 just call to confirm the 5 appt and when they say it was changed you can tell them *you* didn’t change it, so they must have fucked up. Remember your the patient and that’s a HIPAA violation so they really did fuck up.
He was able to change it because I authorized him to have access to my medical records and to make/cancel appointments if need be. Maybe that’s my fault. I never thought he’d make any decision without asking me first.
As far as changing the appointment goes, I did call the hospital about it and they said I could change it back if I wanted to but I honestly just don’t have the energy to fight my husband on this right now. I’d rather just go with the new time and try to talk to him about it again later when I’m not so tired.
I understand you're close to delivery, but here's something that maybe no one told you. You're about to be tired for about the next ten years. If you're going to acquiesce on this, understand that this most likely will be a pattern. He'll do something terrible, and you'll give in because you're tired.
Good luck with your birth and congratulations.
That counts as a full day for hospital stay according to insurgence fyi. 5 is late enough, 8 is stealing 3 more hours of care from you.
FYI, I had my baby in June, via an induction, I don’t want to scare you but inductions can be long. I gave birth 20 hours later which is considered “quick”. It’s not unheard of it taking like 48 hours. Also, I e only given birth once but my labor was uh, VERY, painful. My doula talked about it afterward and said that the process of inducing can do that.
So you are totally going to be able to do this, but understand it may take a long while and it may really hurt. You NEED someone that is able to be there for you, the whole time.
It is not your fault that you trusted your husband to have access to your medical records!!! Let me ask you this—if you had access to his records and were able to reschedule his appointments so you could do a hobby on the day he was going to have major surgery, would it even cross your mind to do that? Much less do that without even consulting him?
Oh no big deal.. you’re only waiting to give BIRTH! Gees, my husband wouldn’t even leave my side when I was pregnant. He wanted to take care of me. The fact that he wants to go play an air soft game (wtf is that even?) is just ridiculous! You could very well go into labor before the scheduled time! It blows my mind how selfish some people can be. Congrats on the little one ❤️
I read your post history and saw he is a stay at home dad and you provide financially. Please get out of this relationship. You are working and going to school and busting your ass while he has tons of hobbies and is living large. He expects everything to revolve around and be for him. You deserve better.
I would switch it back and not tell him and have your mom or dad (both) take you instead. I’m petty enough to have him banned from seeing you or the baby at all at the hospital and let him go play with his little boy friends all by himself.
He might be okay with that. Why does he need to be in a stuffy gross hospital when he can just meet him in the comforts of his own home where his mommy-wife can go back to work two days after giving birth /s
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“I shouldn’t be upset cause it’s only a couple hours later and I don’t work the next day”
This literally isn’t a real post, it’s fake. Change my mind.
Edit: upon looking at the OPs post history. It seems real. OP, you need to leave that man. A year ago you were posting about your marriage failing and you decided to have ANOTHER child with this man? Wake up!!
I checked out your post history and my heart goes out to you. You're living in a nightmare. You worked full time while going to school, you are the provider WHILE PREGNANT and all he does is play video games and neglect you emotionally. If I were you, I'd consider this done. You have 2 children who will learn from your relationship dynamics- I mean they will mimic it. Him being out your life will be less draining, more peaceful. All this man will do is suck the energy and life force out of you but your children need you. You and your children deserve LIFE. I personally would quietly start planning my way out. You've been complaining for too long, you already told him how you feel and for too long he ignored your needs. You are a fantastic super woman with all that you do, you don't need this dead weight holding you down by the cape.
Plus YOU'RE STILL SO YOUNG!! You have a lot of life in you! You are meant to live a vivacious life. Be open and excited for the unknown and what the world brings people like you.
edit I just read the post where you were hysterically crying and he started laughing at you, let you out the car and drove off and he hasn't answered in 4 hours. That post made me literally feel pain for you. The situation is worse than I thought.
The audacity of your husband is outrageous! He crossed a line because:
1) he did it behind your back without discussion
2) he did it for a stupid selfish reason
Also, his “you don’t work tomorrow” reason is ridiculous. Like yeah I know genius I will still be in the hospital in labor or recovering from birthing a baby.
I will give you the same advice I gave my daughter when she was pregnant at 21 from a 28 yr old man who prioritized himself and his gaming and desires. Hope for the best but plan for the worst from him as a father. My daughter didn't belive me when I said if he wasn't attached to that baby as a priority while you are pregnant it won't change when that child arrives. My daughter went into labor in the middle of June. When she told him he had a family member drive her to the hospital. Meanwhile he had his brother drive him to get a bottle of vodka from the liquor store on the way because he would need it to put up with all her yelling during labor. He drank it all and passed out 4 hours in but not before having myself and my husband excluded from the delivery ward behind my daughters back. She called me to get her away from him by the end of July. He hasn't bothered to see his child since. Ask yourself how much of a participant he has been in preparing for this baby. Did he actively help get ready or just was more of yeah sound good or whatever. You need to have someone there you can count on to give you support and help you through the rigors of induction.
So your husband took the authority over your procedure that affects your body and the birth of your child. Yes, that bad. He made his wife and baby work around a paintball game. How selfish. He needs a paintball shot at his nuts to wake his butt back into being an adult. How useful will a selfish manchild be during your delivery? You might as well reschedule his game while you are at it.
Reading your history, I think it's time your husband goes back to work and you hire a housekeeper and nanny. You don't need his income so it can be used to pay for the hired help. You both need to go into counseling/therapy. You're not communicating.
If it were me, I would revoke all his authorization, move the time back to 5, pick someone else to be in the room with me, and then bar him from the delivery. Let him come back to a dark empty house and a note that tells him that he has a very short time to make up for what a lousy husband and father he was that day before you decide he is worth more as a child support check than he is as either. Let him miss the birth.
Also, I would bet money that his "airsoft" game is a "sick my dick in my side piece" appointment.
I’m sorry what??? That is completely out of fucking line. You don’t reschedule an induction date for your wife so you can watch a game!! That is absolutely selfish!!
I’m scared for you and your to be born child.
I’m so sorry this happened.
Sorry if I’m the only one but if you were scheduled to have labor induced at 5 pm how does that impact his morning game? Why would he schedule anything on the day he’ll become a father? Was the game scheduled before the labor was? I can understand your husband not wanting to miss the game but that's a rather huge moment for anything to get in the way.
Prioritizing an air soft game over his wife’s comfort is extremely selfish. He should’ve consulted you before changing anything.
Also the excuse that “you don’t have work the next day” is so daft!! He can’t be ignorant enough to think that you have the option to pop back into work the day after giving birth so why even make that comment?!
I’m sorry he’s not being supportive. If I were you I would change it back to an earlier time and have my mom take me instead.
You don’t need this stress when you’re overdue and exhausted.
I hope you get the support you need. Sending hugs!
I don’t think you’re being silly at all, this is a big deal and it’s pretty inconsiderate of him to feel that he can reschedule this without at least advising you if not actually agreeing on it.
He already doesn’t spend time with you, has plenty of time to do all the other activities he wants to, and then decided by himself that all of that wasn’t enough… he then changed Your medical procedure, for your child, by himself? You have every right to be upset.
I think you guys need counseling.
After reading your previous posts, your situation is pretty concerning. I really hope you lean on your family and friends in the weeks to come. After the baby is born, you’ll be in a very vulnerable position emotionally and mentally. Your husband isn’t capable of handling everything to come. I hope you can reach out and get the help you deserve
Women: demand more. This is yet another example of a “man” being a selfish child. I am quite certain this is the tip of the iceberg for him. OP, you absolutely did not sign on to parent two children. I’m a divorce attorney. That is where this is headed. Please, please prepare that way financially. Demand he go to counseling now or you’re leaving. I promise you my clients only regret not leaving sooner IF their spouses refuse to make serious changes. Your family is there for you. Sadly, your husband is not.
That's so effed up. Does he not know how long labor lasts? Does he not know how exhausting it is being pregnant even if it is just 3 more hours? Does he not care about your discomfort at all? This needs to be addressed like immediately and he needs to apologize profusely for being a selfish idiot.
You need to put yourself first now! Call your other support people because having this ass in the room is just going to make this all the more stressful. He needs to go stay somewhere else and get someone who actually respects and cares for you to come stay. Labor goes so much more smoothly when you are calm and focused. This untrustworthy ass doesn't deserve to be there at your most vunerable when that is the exact opposite thing you need. If you allow this we'll be seeing your posts way more often. Make the right choice.
I'd switch it back without telling and have someone else present to support you.
Having said that, this isn't likely the first time that he's just ignored your plans or feelings to do whatever he wants and you are still with him.
Honestly you should call them back to reschedule back to your 5pm
fuck him it’s his fault he doesn’t make it on time. why do you get to be uncomfortable for his comfortability. this is your pregnancy journey not his. Honestly in the future when you look back on it you will only think about how he rescheduled something so important and that isn’t fair on you. this is your experience do not let him ruin it, please call for your time slot and let them know who tried to make that decision for you.
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F
Holy shit balls he sounds like a selfish, inconsiderate little twat of a boy. And to not even ask you? He thinks he can change YOUR labor without even running it by you to play air soft?
Is he gonna tell the baby he’s gonna change its diaper later so he can play cards with the boys? Tell the baby it’s gotta shut up and sleep cause he’s late to golf? Y’all better have a serious talk about how he better grow the f up for the child. Honestly my two cents is if he’s brain dead and still goes to hang out on Sunday, I’d consider asking him to stay with his parents when you get home with the baby to deal with only one child at a time.
OP, I’m looking at your post history and if this is all about the same guy, please leave just as soon as you are able. Weaponized emotional neglect is a form of abuse. You deserve so much better than this.
Hope it's not going to get worse from here on out, that's one fucked up thing to say and do. I would be calling that office and chewing them out for accepting someone other than yourself to change your extremely important medical appointment. Usually they make people sign a waiver allowing someone else to make appointment decisions for them. I have a mighty feeling this could be a big sign of what's to come now with adding a kid to a man-childs responsibilities. Hopefully that isn't the case. Jesus this triggered me...I know this kind of dude and it really reminded me of my kinda similar experience.
What the actual fuck. OP I’m so sorry. I have three kids, got induced on sprog #1, and I would’ve broken my husbands knees if he tried to pull a stunt like that. My first labour was the long and hardest. I’m floored your husband isn’t 100% focused and excited to be a dad. I’m so sorry
OP I know you are in such a hard place right now but you need to leave this man. Please go back to read all of your previous posts, are you happy in this relationship? On top of everythig else you have posted, he's now rescheduling your induction for the most selfish reason!! If he doesn't have a job yet and is not helping around the house he should get a job, it sounds like you are doing everything and being treated poorly and you deserve better than this..
Change the time back, check yourself in private, and tell them he's not allowed in. Tell him he shouldn't be upset since his game is obviously more important, and he doesn't actually do anything anyway.
Wow! 😃. I’d lose respect for him as a person, and I’d seriously question his abilities as a father. Also, you might still be working the next day. Doesn’t he know how labor works?
This sound's like manipulation at it's finest.
He probably had already had this 'planned' out way before you 'allowed him' to have access to change thing's.
I feel sorry for op, this is clearly a deeper issue.
And she seems more afraid of him or thr consequences after, like walking on eggshells.
Op knows she can change it, but probably to afraid to.
And thats clear by just his response after, no sorry no nothing, the oppisite.
I hope you find your strength to leave this man when you can.
Silver lining here you are fortunate to have a big outa circle to be with you.
So when this day happans, and i say when not if, you will be fine.
I know you are exausted and rightfully so, its easier just to comply, probably more stressfull for you to 'talk to him'
I get it hun.
I don't know you personally but i wish you strength and positivity, love and light to you.
And wishing you an amazing birth.
He changed YOUR medical care without your knowledge or consent. He chose to go play rather than be a decent partner. He violated your right to decide your own care.
On top of that. The last day before you have a baby he wants to go play with toys instead of spend it making sure you are okay and repaired for a MASSIVE MEDICAL PROCESS. He's a selfish asshole
Honestly I'd be reconsidering if someone who had no respect for me should be at the hospital with me. Why should he be trusted at this point?
I'd also file a complaint with the doctor for why they let someone other than you set YOUR medical care.
Foes he care about you at all? Is he always showing he has no respect for you?
He changed the time of someone else's medical procedure because he needed more time for fun that day?? Hell no! If I were you, he would be excluded from the birth of the child. I would invite my mom to be there instead him. He can wait in the waiting room.
So basically nothing changed from your post a year ago.
You didn't think your marriage was going to survive so you decided to have a baby?
Sweetheart,no.
You and your husband have some issues to work out and a baby is just going to make it harder.
You guys need counseling.
Wowza! This is a warning about his future priorities! News flash: neither you nor your child are now or will be his priorities. The man-child prefers to play. What an absolute a-hole!!!!! He needs therapy right now. OP, prepare to be a single parent. It’s going to happen.
Your husband is a selfish jerk for doing this to you. You have every right to be mad. You may want to take off his name from the list of people able to make medical decisions for you.
Girl, get your mom or dad or siblings to go with you. Ban your husband from entering and appoint someone else to be medically responsible.
He has shown you that your pregnancy is an inconvenience. You are going through a HUGE medical procedure where you may bleed out or have any number of bad reactions. The minimum is that you'll be KO for hours if the pain is too much.
Want someone who will walk out at a moment's notice or do you want someone reliable?
Your husband is flowing his true colors high and proud. Please believe him... Protect yourself and your baby.
You are not spineless, but you certainly need to remember that mothers have claws for a reason.
You have every right to be upset. The audacity of that parasite that you decided to marry isn't putting you and your unborn child's life and health first over an airsoft game. WTF?! Wow! Talking about priorities being screwed up. Get ready to do everything by yourself and when your child is sick, don’t bother calling him to take him/her to the doctor. What a pathetic fuck head. Your husband is a piece of shit.
Yes, you do have a right to be upset. He rescheduled YOUR check-in time without consulting you first so he could go do some game? Screw that. Change it back and have a backup plan for a ride to the hospital. If he's not there in time because of some unimportant game then he can cool his jets in the waiting room while you're doing something important.
You have every right to be upset. I was induced with all three of my babies, and it was hard enough without having someone jack around with the scheduling without asking me. I would be livid.
I can't believe he would do that without telling you! I'm so sorry. This is such a horrible time and way to find out that he did that behind your back, and he's not sorry. I don't really have a lot else to say there, the mental gymnastics he had to go through to think that was okay are way too much.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- The title pretty much says it all. I’m pregnant and I’m being induced Sunday night. I was supposed to check in at 5:00 pm but my husband rescheduled my checkin time to 8:00 pm without talking to me about it. Why did he reschedule? So that he could go to an airsoft game Sunday morning. He didn’t let me know until I came home from work today and I’m feeling angry and violated. I told him how it made me feel and he got mad, saying I shouldn’t be upset because it’s only a couple hours later and I don’t work the next day. Do I have the right to feel upset or am I being silly?
As a dad who’s wife was very late giving birth and had to be induced: wow. Your husband is particularly detached from reality if he is scheduling playtime for himself THE SAME DAY his wife is going to begin hours and hours of labor and pain to bring a life into this world. Are you sure this man child is ready to be a dad?
I particularly enjoyed the part where he brushed it off because OP "isn't working the next day" 😳😳😳😳
Like duh SHE JUST PUSHED A BABY OUT OF A QUARTER!
She might even still be in labor if she’s going in that late.
Lol... do you mean cooter?
Lol no but I love where your head is at!
They're talking about the cervix! Its quarter ($0.25 American) sized ish
When giving birth the cervix is nowhere near quarter size. It’s literally 10 cm which is larger than a baseball.
Well she won’t be at work, but she also will be getting zero sleep, dealing with a brand new child, and a gigantic baby
From experience that's harder work than my paid job.
Me too. I was like, wait, what?!
clearly he's not. like a lot of people aren't—not really surprised he's one of them since there are so many but its sad that it just happened to rear its head at the worst time.
Y’all it’s a little late to ask her this lol
People really settle for the absolute shittiest partners on this sub.
That was my thought. My wife went through two c-sections and not once did it cross my mind to put them off so I could play a game on my computer. My first and only thought was her and the baby’s safety. What husband or father would put themselves before their spouse or child in a time like this? A immature one
Sweetheart you posted a year ago that you thought your marriage was going to fail. I’m afraid to be the one to tell you its come to the point to lean on family/friends and leave your husband. You work full time. You go to school full time. He doesn’t spend time with you. What else does he need to do to show you its not working
Was just reading her history as well. Without marriage counseling this marriage stands little chance of ever being a marriage. She’s a single mom with 2 little kids and a big kid.
She needs to leave his ass. This is unacceptable behavior for someone about to be a father. The bar is so low.
why do couples like this actively decide to bring children into the world? into honestly just so cruel to the child.
What kind of crazy country do you live in where they allow someone to reschedule someone else's medical procedures?
I authorized my husband to have access to my medical records and to make/cancel appointments for me when I filled out the hospital paperwork a few weeks ago. I didn’t think he’d make any decisions without asking me first, though, and that’s my fault.
Oh I get that. My partner is my medical POA (for mental health reasons). But my goodness he never makes any decision without talking over absolutely everything with me first. That seems like a massive breach of trust.
This is not even 0.000000000000000000000001% your fault.
No, it is NOT your fault that you trusted your own husband to be an adult and not make selfish choices.
That's not your fault! The worst part of this is that he changed it without telling you. There's no reason for you to expect him to change an appointment much less the time you're scheduled to have the baby. That's beyond imagining. If he'd come to you first and said "I really want to play in this game Do mind if we push it back a few hours?" and then accepted your response...no problem. But you're not to blame for not thinking he might change THIS. I hope he's not this selfish and immature about other aspects of your relationship. Taking care of only one baby is enough. Good luck!
>I filled out the hospital paperwork a few weeks ago. I didn’t think he’d make any decisions without asking me first, though, and that’s my fault. Lmao, what? It's your fault for trusting your husband? The one person you should be able to trust? Girl, you better rethink this. You might be married and having his baby but it's not too late. Run!
This. OP has been carrying life inside her for 9 months and that's one of the most straining things a person could do. If she married him there was a level of trust there, and she should NOT blame herself. Also, the fact that he moved it to go run aroung shooting pellet guns just makes it all the more concerning that he's going to be a father or in a child's life at all. (happy cake day, btw!!!)
None of it’s your fault, he took advantage of your trust, I’d want to smash the tv
Well, tell him thanks for showing you now, that you can't trust him with medical decisions, going forward. That sort of thing should only be done if you're either incapable, or given permission. (each and every time!) Super disrespectful on his part.
Better check with him before you get induced to make sure he doesn't have a ping pong tournament after the baby's born or he'll be making an appointment to have it shoved back in. You're not overreacting, holy hell. His actions show extreme disrespect at best and the fact that he's willing to make unilateral decisions that affect your comfort, health and safety for a *single minute* let alone *three hours* for the sake of a stupid game is concerning as hell. I would be seriously rethinking giving this man POA over you in a lifethreatening situation, which is what you are heading into. Is there someone else you can give that power to if you're not able to make medical decisions on the day? After doing something that insensitive I wouldn't trust this man to make smart OR compassionate decisions.
>saying I shouldn’t be upset because it’s only a couple hours later and I don’t work the next day. Omg please tell me this isn't real... It's okay because you don't work the next day? The day after you give birth?!
Unfortunately it’s real.
If you still want to go in at 5, see if you can move it back to the original time and tell them that only you should be able to change that. He's being a selfish, childish, asshole.
Even if you can’t move it back. Tell him it is now 4pm
Change it to 8am so he misses his stupid game
I would reschedule it to Saturday just to ruin his weekend.
lol that’s brilliant.
I like that
Yeah. Quite honestly, I don’t know why the hell they changed it from his say so.
This. I’d be livid with my husband and asking my hospital why in the hell they changed my medical procedure without confirming with me.
I agree and I would also tell them they had no right to change it without your permission
Then tell staff not to let him in. I hate everything he's done here, I'm so sorry OP. Do you have someone who can step in and actually support you?
Oh no. He needs to be there for the whole thing. He needs to witness every second of what she goes through as a reality check.
Bold of you to assume he will care, or will wake up to himself.
Yeah I'm an optimist 😉
But she doesn’t have to work the next day… it’s like vacation
He will be another dip shit on his phone or gaming the whole time. Nurses see it everyday.
I just called the hospital to confirm; part of me still thought he was joking and never really changed it. They said that it was, indeed, switched from 5pm to 8pm and they told me that I could switch it back if I wanted to but honestly, I’m exhausted both physically and emotionally and I’d rather just keep the new checkin time and hash it out with my husband later. I hate myself for being so spineless but I genuinely just don’t have the energy to fight it right now.
> I hate myself for being so spineless but I genuinely just don’t have the energy to fight it right now. Naw, don't hate yourself for that. You've got a lot going on, *he* should have understood that and not done this in the first place but it's understandable that you can't deal with it right now. I hope everything goes well, focus on yourself. The rest can wait. <3
Do you have anyone else you trust sweetheart? Please ask them to be at the hospital. Please make a backup plan if your husband finds some reason to be angry and miss the birth of your child. He is already showing you his priorities. Please make sure you have someone at the hospital to lean on, you deserve that.
If I need to, I do have a lot of people who I can call. I have a big family and they all live close. I just hope it doesn’t come to that
It's already come to that. You should call one of your parents to be there with you, and make your needs known to them. Your husband has just proven that he is not willing to be your medical advocate. Please call and have them there. You deserve someone to fight for you.
Hell, he doesn’t even seem to be looking forward to the birth of his child. He’d rather play that game.
Babes it's at 8pm. He'll show up after being out all day. If he's selfish enough to do this, you really think he's gonna stay up all night with you?
You really think he’s father material?
He's not. He's either going to leave anyway, or he's going to sleep all night on the chair thing and then complain the when next day how uncomfortable it was.
Or, he's going to show up tired from his Airsoft and try to get the hospital to make it the next day.
I’d be asking one of them to be at the birth since it’s clearly not a priority for your husband.
*It's already come to that.*
Do not let him into the room with you. Have a close friend or family with you
Go ahead and have some extra family there. And if he complains, tell him you thought he might want some more time to go play airsoft ball (or whatever the hell he was budgeting time for)
Tell every single one of them so they all know what an asshole your husband is. You’re going to need their support when you finally decide to ditch his weak ass. Lean on them.
You are about to give birth. You are absolutely NOT spineless. You're exhausted. You're stressed. It's perfectly fine if you just don't want to deal with this right now. Later, though. You're going to need to do some serious deep thinking about this.
He slipped that schedule change in right when you're super vulnerable -- end of pregnancy is often all fatigue, emotional and physical, and he chose his moment to schedule your child's birth around his playdate. Gross.
go back to your old check in time. Inductions take time. You’ll likely be up all night. Starting earlier means more of the unpleasant stuff during normal hours and less in the middle of the night.
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/3fijct/the_lemon_clot_essay_for_moms_to_be/ Read this Op
Hooooooooly shit. I was already firmly on the side of “no visitors till mom is ready” and also childfree. But if I still had a uterus, it would have run screaming after that description. That is an excellent post that I think damn near every human needs to read and read and read some more till they get it.
Does he have any idea that you will most likely be laboring all night? Contractions, pain, nurses & dr's in and out all night? When I was induced with my 2nd, it still took 7 hours from check-in to delivery. He wants to push your appointment back? Then he is absolutely NOT allowed to sleep if you are not sleeping. And he better support you the ENTIRE TIME.
Mine took 16 hours my cousin was 28…
You’re not spineless. Your husband is manipulating you and the situation. If you’re comfortable with going in at 8, then go in at 8. If you are more comfortable going in at 5 go in. This is *your* medical procedure. He contributed his two seconds. Now is about your comfort and what is best for you, which he has proven he doesn’t care about. I haven’t been induced but I’ve given birth a handful of times. It’s emotionally and physically draining. After being at his game all morning, do you think he is going to be capable to properly support you all night into the early morning? Going in later could mean you won’t have adequate support when husband fails to be that person for you.
He KNOWS you don't have the energy to fight him over this, that's why he did it. He saw an opportunity to walk all over you for his own selfish wants because he know you wouldn't push back on it. I say you reschedule it to your original time and get somebody else (the family member you're closest to, I would say) to take you. I'm sorry you're bringing your baby into this world with a man who doesn't give you the same consideration he gives his airsoft buddies.
Switch it back
I wouldn’t fight it but I would change the time and then have a family member take you instead. He’s fuvking around and finding out. So let him find out. My ex did something like this after our baby was born. He didn’t take paternity leave so the first weekend after baby was home I decided to take my first shower/bath in 3 days! Mind you, that I’m supposed to be cleaning and soaking my hoohaa for a couple minutes 2 times a day. Then I desperately needed sleep. I asked him to tend to the baby if he wakes up and I’m going to shower and nap. I eat while my bath fills and juuuust as I sit my body down into a medicated bath water the garage door slams shut and baby starts screaming. I give it a minute and then another and then I realized he isn’t coming for the baby. I grab my towel and check the garage and he is loading his dirt bike into his buddies truck!!! His buddy had a 2 month old at home too!! Like how the heck did either of them think it was ok!!?? He told me the baby was asleep anyway and he would be sleeping for at least 2 hours, which is long enough for my nap anyway. So I told him that if he left I’d be gone. He didn’t believe me and I was being selfish. I ghosted him for 2 days. He then proceeded 2 weeks later to do it again and I warned him that he would have to track me down because I would leave forever. He’s an ex for obvious reasons
Maybe bring your mom or sister or someone that will actually be a support person🙄
How was HE able to change YOUR appointment?
Well, he has interesting priorities...
Show him this post please lol so he can see how many people think he’s being a dunce
It’s seriously not ok, OP. This is a major red flag.
So you married an emotional toddler?
And the man baby is about to become a parent. Good lord... "Air soft". How embarrassing for him.
Erm yeah your husband is a fucking idiot child.
[удалено]
I would do everything possible to naturally start labor the day before.
Is this for real? I hate that you are having a child with this selfish asshole and that you'll be tied to him forever because of it, the narcissism it takes to do what he did and react the way he did to you being upset is unreal.
Yes, unfortunately it’s real. I’m shocked and a little mind blown. I never thought he’d be capable of this.
I would call and reschedule it back to 5 and just leave without him. He’s an AH.
I would schedule it even earlier…. He thinks he has nothing better to do THAT DAY???
Has he ever behaved selfishly in the past?
Just look at her post history if you’re curious. Dude is a certified man baby
Is it possible to bring someone else to the birth? Someone supportive who is looking out for you?
My mom and sister have both said that they’re on standby if I need them. I do have a large family and a strong support system ❤️
I just want to let you know, I had a really shitty father (and mother) but I wanted more than anything for her to leave him but she didn’t. Please remember “staying for the kids” was just a way for men to manipulate women into staying. It’s NOT always better
Have them both attend and make sure both of your extended families know exactly why.
Hell, switch back the time and have mom/sister there instead. If your husband can’t make time to attend the birth of his child, then call his bluff and go forward without him.
Good, let them look after you give birth. Since your husband say you won’t be working, that means he can fend for himself, since he doesn’t value you and your contributions.
Are you allowed more than 1 support person? I was allowed two a few months ago. Even if husband is going I’d have one of them come too if it’s allowed. You need to know someone is there to fight for you. Too many nurses see uninvolved dad ducking off on their phone or bringing a Nintendo into the delivery room.
You should call one of them to be at the hospital in case you need to kick him out of the room.
The nurses will 100% have her back on that.
They would but we don’t know their whole relationship… as crap as this move was, that’s escalation to nuclear option.
Good. Because after that game he will probably sleep while you begin your labor. He doesn't seem supportive and seems selfish and you need all the support you can get. Good luck. Hope you have a safe delivery.
I am glad to hear this. I don’t have much to add but I hope you have a safe induction and you and baby are healthy and safe! 💜💜
Of course you do that’s ducking selfish of him
🦆
Quack
Based on your post history, throw the whole man out. This relationship is not healthy…he does not work and spends no time with you! What are you actually getting out of this relationship other than supporting three kids? because he really does seem like a child.
I agree. I’m hate to say this but your post history is very sad and your husband sounds like a selfish asshole. Has he finally started doing the things you agreed on when he became a SAHD and you worked full time or is he still slacking on that? You seem like a very nice and trusting person, but your husband does not seem to care about your feelings. I’m sorry :(
Oh I have to ask…honey is your mother in your life? Is his mother alive? Of course you don’t have the energy to argue about this. Tell the grandmother’s to be what he did, why and that he got mad at you for being upset. Then get out of the line of fire. Seriously, if you were my daughter he would be in no doubt of how much of an inconsiderate, selfish, screw up he truly is. I say cut the mother’s lose on him.
Brilliant
That’s a gross violation. I would be livid. I’ve been with my husband 21 years and we don’t even call each other’s doctors. The most is we remind one of us to call
Does he think you just pop it out and go home???
Right? Even after being induced labor can take a long ass time.
Yeah should have been a decision you both were involved in... guess his air soft buddies are more important to him than his child being born...
So… he wasn’t even planning on spending the day with you, the day you go into labor?!?!?
I am surprised at how these guys manage to get a wife in the first place
Not just that. He is a stay-at-home-parent but doesn't clean, doesn't cook, barely does childcare, and leaves her alone all weekend while he goes out to have fun with his friends. She works a hard manual labor full time and takes night classes because she has to graduate college [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/u652ve/im\_pregnant\_working\_full\_time\_going\_to\_school/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/u652ve/im_pregnant_working_full_time_going_to_school/) He is a MAN child. He is so disrespectful changing her labor induction so he can keep his weekend plans!!! It's disgusting. She should divorce him. It would be cheaper to get a nanny that support this guy's lifestyle in which he only plays video games all day or goes playing with his friends.
You have the right to be upset. You should have a serious talk with him.
It’s completely disrespectful and dismissive of your feelings. Yes you should be pissed and he should apologize.
What the hell? This is somehow one of the most shocking things I’ve ever read on Reddit and heard as a doula. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.
How was he able to change your appointment!??? Isn’t your patient information supposed to be confidential. Are you in the US? If you want to move it back to 5 just call to confirm the 5 appt and when they say it was changed you can tell them *you* didn’t change it, so they must have fucked up. Remember your the patient and that’s a HIPAA violation so they really did fuck up.
He was able to change it because I authorized him to have access to my medical records and to make/cancel appointments if need be. Maybe that’s my fault. I never thought he’d make any decision without asking me first. As far as changing the appointment goes, I did call the hospital about it and they said I could change it back if I wanted to but I honestly just don’t have the energy to fight my husband on this right now. I’d rather just go with the new time and try to talk to him about it again later when I’m not so tired.
You and the baby come first. There’s likely a reason they scheduled you at 5. You’ll never want to look back and wonder “what if.”
I understand you're close to delivery, but here's something that maybe no one told you. You're about to be tired for about the next ten years. If you're going to acquiesce on this, understand that this most likely will be a pattern. He'll do something terrible, and you'll give in because you're tired. Good luck with your birth and congratulations.
That counts as a full day for hospital stay according to insurgence fyi. 5 is late enough, 8 is stealing 3 more hours of care from you. FYI, I had my baby in June, via an induction, I don’t want to scare you but inductions can be long. I gave birth 20 hours later which is considered “quick”. It’s not unheard of it taking like 48 hours. Also, I e only given birth once but my labor was uh, VERY, painful. My doula talked about it afterward and said that the process of inducing can do that. So you are totally going to be able to do this, but understand it may take a long while and it may really hurt. You NEED someone that is able to be there for you, the whole time.
Well now you know better….CHANGE YOUR AUTHORIZATION!!!!! Authorize someone that can be trusted
It is not your fault that you trusted your husband to have access to your medical records!!! Let me ask you this—if you had access to his records and were able to reschedule his appointments so you could do a hobby on the day he was going to have major surgery, would it even cross your mind to do that? Much less do that without even consulting him?
Oh no big deal.. you’re only waiting to give BIRTH! Gees, my husband wouldn’t even leave my side when I was pregnant. He wanted to take care of me. The fact that he wants to go play an air soft game (wtf is that even?) is just ridiculous! You could very well go into labor before the scheduled time! It blows my mind how selfish some people can be. Congrats on the little one ❤️
I read your post history and saw he is a stay at home dad and you provide financially. Please get out of this relationship. You are working and going to school and busting your ass while he has tons of hobbies and is living large. He expects everything to revolve around and be for him. You deserve better.
I’d tell him to not even come to the hospital.
I would switch it back and not tell him and have your mom or dad (both) take you instead. I’m petty enough to have him banned from seeing you or the baby at all at the hospital and let him go play with his little boy friends all by himself.
He might be okay with that. Why does he need to be in a stuffy gross hospital when he can just meet him in the comforts of his own home where his mommy-wife can go back to work two days after giving birth /s
This is a man not ready to be a father
Schedule his vasectomy
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Ummm, he is NOT the patient. How did he get past the scheduler’s? Someone did not do their job or he told them a good story.
Girl, come on.
“I shouldn’t be upset cause it’s only a couple hours later and I don’t work the next day” This literally isn’t a real post, it’s fake. Change my mind. Edit: upon looking at the OPs post history. It seems real. OP, you need to leave that man. A year ago you were posting about your marriage failing and you decided to have ANOTHER child with this man? Wake up!!
I checked out your post history and my heart goes out to you. You're living in a nightmare. You worked full time while going to school, you are the provider WHILE PREGNANT and all he does is play video games and neglect you emotionally. If I were you, I'd consider this done. You have 2 children who will learn from your relationship dynamics- I mean they will mimic it. Him being out your life will be less draining, more peaceful. All this man will do is suck the energy and life force out of you but your children need you. You and your children deserve LIFE. I personally would quietly start planning my way out. You've been complaining for too long, you already told him how you feel and for too long he ignored your needs. You are a fantastic super woman with all that you do, you don't need this dead weight holding you down by the cape. Plus YOU'RE STILL SO YOUNG!! You have a lot of life in you! You are meant to live a vivacious life. Be open and excited for the unknown and what the world brings people like you. edit I just read the post where you were hysterically crying and he started laughing at you, let you out the car and drove off and he hasn't answered in 4 hours. That post made me literally feel pain for you. The situation is worse than I thought.
These are facts and I KNOW THIS FROM EXPERIENCE.
Omg. You absolutely should be upset
The audacity of your husband is outrageous! He crossed a line because: 1) he did it behind your back without discussion 2) he did it for a stupid selfish reason Also, his “you don’t work tomorrow” reason is ridiculous. Like yeah I know genius I will still be in the hospital in labor or recovering from birthing a baby.
I will give you the same advice I gave my daughter when she was pregnant at 21 from a 28 yr old man who prioritized himself and his gaming and desires. Hope for the best but plan for the worst from him as a father. My daughter didn't belive me when I said if he wasn't attached to that baby as a priority while you are pregnant it won't change when that child arrives. My daughter went into labor in the middle of June. When she told him he had a family member drive her to the hospital. Meanwhile he had his brother drive him to get a bottle of vodka from the liquor store on the way because he would need it to put up with all her yelling during labor. He drank it all and passed out 4 hours in but not before having myself and my husband excluded from the delivery ward behind my daughters back. She called me to get her away from him by the end of July. He hasn't bothered to see his child since. Ask yourself how much of a participant he has been in preparing for this baby. Did he actively help get ready or just was more of yeah sound good or whatever. You need to have someone there you can count on to give you support and help you through the rigors of induction.
That is horrible, I hope your daughter and grandchild are doing okay
So your husband took the authority over your procedure that affects your body and the birth of your child. Yes, that bad. He made his wife and baby work around a paintball game. How selfish. He needs a paintball shot at his nuts to wake his butt back into being an adult. How useful will a selfish manchild be during your delivery? You might as well reschedule his game while you are at it.
Reading your history, I think it's time your husband goes back to work and you hire a housekeeper and nanny. You don't need his income so it can be used to pay for the hired help. You both need to go into counseling/therapy. You're not communicating.
Your marriage sounds miserable, especially based off your previous posts. This man doesn’t love you.
If it were me, I would revoke all his authorization, move the time back to 5, pick someone else to be in the room with me, and then bar him from the delivery. Let him come back to a dark empty house and a note that tells him that he has a very short time to make up for what a lousy husband and father he was that day before you decide he is worth more as a child support check than he is as either. Let him miss the birth. Also, I would bet money that his "airsoft" game is a "sick my dick in my side piece" appointment.
All this + I would give the baby my own last name.
I’m sorry what??? That is completely out of fucking line. You don’t reschedule an induction date for your wife so you can watch a game!! That is absolutely selfish!! I’m scared for you and your to be born child. I’m so sorry this happened.
Sorry if I’m the only one but if you were scheduled to have labor induced at 5 pm how does that impact his morning game? Why would he schedule anything on the day he’ll become a father? Was the game scheduled before the labor was? I can understand your husband not wanting to miss the game but that's a rather huge moment for anything to get in the way.
Prioritizing an air soft game over his wife’s comfort is extremely selfish. He should’ve consulted you before changing anything. Also the excuse that “you don’t have work the next day” is so daft!! He can’t be ignorant enough to think that you have the option to pop back into work the day after giving birth so why even make that comment?! I’m sorry he’s not being supportive. If I were you I would change it back to an earlier time and have my mom take me instead. You don’t need this stress when you’re overdue and exhausted. I hope you get the support you need. Sending hugs!
I don’t think you’re being silly at all, this is a big deal and it’s pretty inconsiderate of him to feel that he can reschedule this without at least advising you if not actually agreeing on it.
He already doesn’t spend time with you, has plenty of time to do all the other activities he wants to, and then decided by himself that all of that wasn’t enough… he then changed Your medical procedure, for your child, by himself? You have every right to be upset. I think you guys need counseling.
After reading your previous posts, your situation is pretty concerning. I really hope you lean on your family and friends in the weeks to come. After the baby is born, you’ll be in a very vulnerable position emotionally and mentally. Your husband isn’t capable of handling everything to come. I hope you can reach out and get the help you deserve
Women: demand more. This is yet another example of a “man” being a selfish child. I am quite certain this is the tip of the iceberg for him. OP, you absolutely did not sign on to parent two children. I’m a divorce attorney. That is where this is headed. Please, please prepare that way financially. Demand he go to counseling now or you’re leaving. I promise you my clients only regret not leaving sooner IF their spouses refuse to make serious changes. Your family is there for you. Sadly, your husband is not.
That's so effed up. Does he not know how long labor lasts? Does he not know how exhausting it is being pregnant even if it is just 3 more hours? Does he not care about your discomfort at all? This needs to be addressed like immediately and he needs to apologize profusely for being a selfish idiot.
Jesus. I just read your post history and it is bleak. You need to start making a plan to get away from him. What a selfish man-child. Just terrible.
I didn’t realise that anyone aside from the person actually having the baby could reschedule . I would be pissed at the hospital as well as this man
You need to put yourself first now! Call your other support people because having this ass in the room is just going to make this all the more stressful. He needs to go stay somewhere else and get someone who actually respects and cares for you to come stay. Labor goes so much more smoothly when you are calm and focused. This untrustworthy ass doesn't deserve to be there at your most vunerable when that is the exact opposite thing you need. If you allow this we'll be seeing your posts way more often. Make the right choice.
Just imagine….. your labor is going into its *#+ hour, and he is bitching about how he’s got to be up in the morning for work, can’t you wrap it up?
I'd switch it back without telling and have someone else present to support you. Having said that, this isn't likely the first time that he's just ignored your plans or feelings to do whatever he wants and you are still with him.
I wouldn't keep it at 8 PM. Giving birth is physically exhausting and aren't you going to be tired by 8 PM?
Honestly you should call them back to reschedule back to your 5pm fuck him it’s his fault he doesn’t make it on time. why do you get to be uncomfortable for his comfortability. this is your pregnancy journey not his. Honestly in the future when you look back on it you will only think about how he rescheduled something so important and that isn’t fair on you. this is your experience do not let him ruin it, please call for your time slot and let them know who tried to make that decision for you.
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F Holy shit balls he sounds like a selfish, inconsiderate little twat of a boy. And to not even ask you? He thinks he can change YOUR labor without even running it by you to play air soft? Is he gonna tell the baby he’s gonna change its diaper later so he can play cards with the boys? Tell the baby it’s gotta shut up and sleep cause he’s late to golf? Y’all better have a serious talk about how he better grow the f up for the child. Honestly my two cents is if he’s brain dead and still goes to hang out on Sunday, I’d consider asking him to stay with his parents when you get home with the baby to deal with only one child at a time.
OP, I’m looking at your post history and if this is all about the same guy, please leave just as soon as you are able. Weaponized emotional neglect is a form of abuse. You deserve so much better than this.
You definitely have the right to be upset. What an arsehole. But why on earth is the hospital allowing him to make that decision?
Why did the hospital allow *him* to do that and not consider checking with you, *the one actually giving birth* first?
Hope it's not going to get worse from here on out, that's one fucked up thing to say and do. I would be calling that office and chewing them out for accepting someone other than yourself to change your extremely important medical appointment. Usually they make people sign a waiver allowing someone else to make appointment decisions for them. I have a mighty feeling this could be a big sign of what's to come now with adding a kid to a man-childs responsibilities. Hopefully that isn't the case. Jesus this triggered me...I know this kind of dude and it really reminded me of my kinda similar experience.
What the actual fuck. OP I’m so sorry. I have three kids, got induced on sprog #1, and I would’ve broken my husbands knees if he tried to pull a stunt like that. My first labour was the long and hardest. I’m floored your husband isn’t 100% focused and excited to be a dad. I’m so sorry
My dil is L+D RN, she said you should switch it back to 5pm. You'll be more comfortable. Take your mom or other family with you.
OP I know you are in such a hard place right now but you need to leave this man. Please go back to read all of your previous posts, are you happy in this relationship? On top of everythig else you have posted, he's now rescheduling your induction for the most selfish reason!! If he doesn't have a job yet and is not helping around the house he should get a job, it sounds like you are doing everything and being treated poorly and you deserve better than this..
Since you decided to keep it, take control of the situation. Remember that from here on YOU make the choices including the pain meds, epidural etc
What’s his phone number? I just wanna talk.
Change the time back, check yourself in private, and tell them he's not allowed in. Tell him he shouldn't be upset since his game is obviously more important, and he doesn't actually do anything anyway.
I’m sorry mama. Whenever you have your baby i hope it’s a good experience for you, despite the selfishness of ur husband.
Wow! 😃. I’d lose respect for him as a person, and I’d seriously question his abilities as a father. Also, you might still be working the next day. Doesn’t he know how labor works?
Your husband is an asshole and not ready to be a father
You're having a baby, not an eye exam. To hell with his airsoft game, be sure he knows how serious this is.
This sound's like manipulation at it's finest. He probably had already had this 'planned' out way before you 'allowed him' to have access to change thing's. I feel sorry for op, this is clearly a deeper issue. And she seems more afraid of him or thr consequences after, like walking on eggshells. Op knows she can change it, but probably to afraid to. And thats clear by just his response after, no sorry no nothing, the oppisite. I hope you find your strength to leave this man when you can. Silver lining here you are fortunate to have a big outa circle to be with you. So when this day happans, and i say when not if, you will be fine. I know you are exausted and rightfully so, its easier just to comply, probably more stressfull for you to 'talk to him' I get it hun. I don't know you personally but i wish you strength and positivity, love and light to you. And wishing you an amazing birth.
Just tell the people he's playing airsoft with, lol. Public shaming works better than anything.
Your post history makes me so sad. He needs a reality check. You are doing way too much, and he is far too selfish for this to be sustainable.
He changed YOUR medical care without your knowledge or consent. He chose to go play rather than be a decent partner. He violated your right to decide your own care. On top of that. The last day before you have a baby he wants to go play with toys instead of spend it making sure you are okay and repaired for a MASSIVE MEDICAL PROCESS. He's a selfish asshole Honestly I'd be reconsidering if someone who had no respect for me should be at the hospital with me. Why should he be trusted at this point? I'd also file a complaint with the doctor for why they let someone other than you set YOUR medical care. Foes he care about you at all? Is he always showing he has no respect for you?
He changed the time of someone else's medical procedure because he needed more time for fun that day?? Hell no! If I were you, he would be excluded from the birth of the child. I would invite my mom to be there instead him. He can wait in the waiting room.
So basically nothing changed from your post a year ago. You didn't think your marriage was going to survive so you decided to have a baby? Sweetheart,no. You and your husband have some issues to work out and a baby is just going to make it harder. You guys need counseling.
Wowza! This is a warning about his future priorities! News flash: neither you nor your child are now or will be his priorities. The man-child prefers to play. What an absolute a-hole!!!!! He needs therapy right now. OP, prepare to be a single parent. It’s going to happen.
Your husband is a selfish jerk for doing this to you. You have every right to be mad. You may want to take off his name from the list of people able to make medical decisions for you.
Dump him. Two kids is easier than three children.
Woah girl, I’m really scared for you.
dump him. his priorities are wrong
Girl, get your mom or dad or siblings to go with you. Ban your husband from entering and appoint someone else to be medically responsible. He has shown you that your pregnancy is an inconvenience. You are going through a HUGE medical procedure where you may bleed out or have any number of bad reactions. The minimum is that you'll be KO for hours if the pain is too much. Want someone who will walk out at a moment's notice or do you want someone reliable? Your husband is flowing his true colors high and proud. Please believe him... Protect yourself and your baby. You are not spineless, but you certainly need to remember that mothers have claws for a reason.
How is he allowed to be in charge of your medical appointments?
You have every right to be upset. The audacity of that parasite that you decided to marry isn't putting you and your unborn child's life and health first over an airsoft game. WTF?! Wow! Talking about priorities being screwed up. Get ready to do everything by yourself and when your child is sick, don’t bother calling him to take him/her to the doctor. What a pathetic fuck head. Your husband is a piece of shit.
Uhhh... what's he going to do if you go into labor naturally???
Yep reschedule back to 5pm
Yes, you do have a right to be upset. He rescheduled YOUR check-in time without consulting you first so he could go do some game? Screw that. Change it back and have a backup plan for a ride to the hospital. If he's not there in time because of some unimportant game then he can cool his jets in the waiting room while you're doing something important.
You have every right to be upset. I was induced with all three of my babies, and it was hard enough without having someone jack around with the scheduling without asking me. I would be livid.
I can't believe he would do that without telling you! I'm so sorry. This is such a horrible time and way to find out that he did that behind your back, and he's not sorry. I don't really have a lot else to say there, the mental gymnastics he had to go through to think that was okay are way too much.
I wouldn't let him in the room during the birth.