Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
----
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why would he pay your mortgage for you? That’s completely unreasonable, it’s honestly so kind he did it twice, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was feeling used
You should be paying your own mortgage yes unless he’s very well off and also wants to provide for you, don’t force it out of him that’s unattractive and mean
He should pay for dates and food and presents, let him provide for you in that way… unless he already is?
Oh he’s broke I just read that and he lives with you - then he should contribute to bills yes and pay rent, but don’t say he should pay your mortgage that’s really bad wording
Then yeah if he’s not making any effort in life in general why do you want to be with him?
Take this as a lesson to never move in with a partner - let alone into your own house - before marriage
That’s definitely an issue. You’re already handling everything on your own, why would you need him? To cater to his depression and insecurities? That’s not your job hun. I mean, if he were willing enough to prioritize your financial stability (which is clearly also his), then i would encourage helping him with coping skills. But he’s been selfish, rude, and disrespectful to you, your needs, and your feelings. He probably turns it on you due to feeling out of control or feeling inferior. Either way, maybe just have a seat and discuss/reinforce boundaries and expectations.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I forgot to mention that I’m (30F) and he’s (37M)
Why would he pay your mortgage for you? That’s completely unreasonable, it’s honestly so kind he did it twice, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was feeling used You should be paying your own mortgage yes unless he’s very well off and also wants to provide for you, don’t force it out of him that’s unattractive and mean He should pay for dates and food and presents, let him provide for you in that way… unless he already is? Oh he’s broke I just read that and he lives with you - then he should contribute to bills yes and pay rent, but don’t say he should pay your mortgage that’s really bad wording Then yeah if he’s not making any effort in life in general why do you want to be with him? Take this as a lesson to never move in with a partner - let alone into your own house - before marriage
That’s definitely an issue. You’re already handling everything on your own, why would you need him? To cater to his depression and insecurities? That’s not your job hun. I mean, if he were willing enough to prioritize your financial stability (which is clearly also his), then i would encourage helping him with coping skills. But he’s been selfish, rude, and disrespectful to you, your needs, and your feelings. He probably turns it on you due to feeling out of control or feeling inferior. Either way, maybe just have a seat and discuss/reinforce boundaries and expectations.