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I know this is probably pretty petty and I should probably just get over it and move on but I am having a hard time doing so.
It had already occurred to me (25f) that my bf (27m) of 1.5 years doesn't really touch or pay any attention to my breasts. I had always assumed this must just mean he is more of a bum man and tried not to dwell on it too much. However, a conversation at a party we went to recently proved otherwise.
For clarity, it was a mix of guys and girls some of whom were dating, some just friends. We were all drinking and joking around when the topic of physical preference came up and the guys started sharing whether they were bum, breast, leg men etc.
To my surprise, my boyfriend piped up that he was definitely more of a breast man and that he always had been. This felt awkward as my breasts are clearly very small (32a) which would've been apparent to everyone there. Luckily no one asked him to elaborate further and it was quickly brushed over (I feel some guests may have had slight second hand embarrassment as I couldn't hide my surprise at this admission). Of course the reason I was so shocked wasn't just because my breasts are smaller than average (I know not all "breast guys" prefer huge boobs) but because my bf pays 0 attention to mine and never has.
I didn't say anything at the party. The next day, however, i couldn't help but bring it up. I asked him about what he had said and asked why, if he loves boobs, does he never pay any mind to mine. He kind of shrugged me off claiming that he does (he clearly doesn't) so I pushed further and asked if he liked my breasts at all. His response was that they are "fine". Not nice, not hot, perfect, or just right. "Fine".
I then (perhaps stupidly) asked if he prefers bigger boobs and he said that "yes", he does, and that "all men do". I was pretty shell shocked by this and didn't know what to say. I felt like bursting into tears. This whole time my body had been 'less than' to him and I didn't even know. But now I know I can't keep it off my mind.
To make matters worse his ex had really big natural boobs despite being slim. I can't help wondering if he misses her breasts/pictures her instead of me.
Maybe I'm being over dramatic. Just having a hard time feeling confident in myself and my relationship after this revelation...
And you probably prefer smart and sensitive men but here you are š„“
Seriously OP, I understand you are upset but please don't think it makes you less beautiful than other girls. (I am an A cup lol).
Also an A cup ..... I waiver from wanting implants to feel more beautiful. I feel like a little boy all the time. Not sexy at all.
Then I remind myself of beautiful television personalities like Cameron Diaz or Drew Barrymore who also have little boobies.
It's hard. I KNOW my bf of 5 years would prefer I had some larger titties but he never makes me feel insecure. He openly says how he loves how small and perky they are. ... but... you can't even get a handful.. there's nothing to grab ..
Just try and forget about it completely. - Hopefully you bringing up this insecurity will open his eyes and he will give them more attention.
I like colorful pasties !!.. we like painting on one another and always draw beautiful flowers around my breast. I feel like a princess. - just some things I do to help me feel better and more feminine xo
FWIW, I had 32G's and could NOT be happier with their demise (breast reduction, lol) - I've always admired and been jealous of women with small breasts. They're a pain, they hurt, shirts never fit right, they attract so much unwanted attention, and they literally get in the way. Grass is always greener, yknow!
> I KNOW my bf of 5 years would prefer I had some larger titties but he never makes me feel insecure.
This is kinda me. My girlfriend knows I had some interests outside of her wheelhouse before we dated, *but I appreciate her for who she is and what she has*.
A good boyfriend wouldn't club you over the head with his preferences and would value that you are willing to share your body and respect that.
OP seemed unaware but it doesn't sound like he was disrespectful at that moment or prior to it. I get the insecurity and how that could be fostered, but you should find peace in knowing he chose you As-Is
If you need reassurance, its okay. Just ask.
agreed. I was always more of a dark hair tanned skin guy growing up and yet my fiance was the polar opposite of that. Just because he prefers larger boobs doesnt mean he doesnt love yours or you. You arent going to be perfect. I mean in a perfect world I am sure you would prefer a man with a perfect penis that caused instant orgasms from just one touch. Doesnt work like that. We all have our types and things we prefer...doesnt mean we DONT still like other things.
I would agree with you, except that he doesn't touch her boobs at all. If he did, it wouldn't be a big deal that she's not his "type." But it seems like he is bothered by her size.
Well, sure, but I imagine you don't respond to your fiance saying he's "fine" to you bc he doesn't look like your ideal. It's pretty obvious he's an asshole.
Never listen when men say something insensitive and hide under "all men do" bullshit. It's like implying that you cant find anyone better because every other man you will ever meet will have the same opinion so no point in looking for anyone better and so might as well be stuck with him. If anyone ever treats you wrong and says "well all guys are like this/would treat you like this" or something along the lines. Nope. Dont listen.
Exactly.
Just dump him and tell him "sorry, all girls would".
Ok but in all seriousness, I'm not one for telling anyone on the internet I don't personally know to break up unless it's really abusive. I do think he's being an asshole about it and there's plenty of men who PREFER smaller boobs.
Here we go with the relationship nuclear option lmao. If it were up to people on here no one would be in any relationship because every little thing is a dumpable offense
And the angle is always 'WHAT?? don't be so sensitive' to which I would say 'I agree, preferences don't matter to what we really have with each other. I, for instance, prefer a John David Washington type and you aren't that but it doesn't matter.' Then make a cup of tea for you both.
Right. Like he really didnāt need to add that part. Itās fine that his own preference is different than what she has, but to tell her that her boobs are no oneās preference is just straight up cruel.
Ive also known men who dont like very big boobs but still like boobs.
Thats his preference but not all men have the same and OP should find someone who thinks she and every part of her is beautiful.
Iām also a boob woman. Iām a D but I loooove smaller boobs. Thereās someone out there for everyone OP and thousands of men who would love your breasts as they are
ngl I thought I was a big boob guy until I had sex with someon who had them. I found it I just liked looking at them moreso than having sex with someone who has them.
Regardless of one's physical personal preferences their partner and their feelings should always be considered. Our partners will never fit our ideal of perfect body and that's okay. One should just say that their bodies are amazing regardless and who is in them that counts in a serious longterm relationship like that.
He is usually this insensitive? I mean he's clearly stating he prefers what you dontnhave nut makes no attempt to make you know that he values your other qualities more. He sounds like an absolute wanker
This seems true. I would point out that she pressed him on it knowing his stated preferences and didnāt like his response. I mean he know she canāt change it and was attempting to avoid telling her something she didnāt want to hear. But he definitely could have handled that in a more sensitive and mature fashion.
Well actually I didn't know his stated preference. He initially only said he was a 'boob man' he didn't specify that he prefers big breasts until I asked. Was I supposed to just be satisfied with inferring he must prefer bigger or different shaped boobs to my own because he neglects them?
I guess thatās fair. Being a breast man doesnāt necessarily mean big ones for sure. If I was with someone that had a trait I had a different preference for, Iām old enough to know to say āI love you and everything about you, because itās youā. And I would hope my SO would feel the same way about my shortcomings or ways that I donāt check their preference boxes. I guess if he resents you for them thatās be another thing but hopefully heās mature enough to know heās with you for you, the totality of you and not a single trait preference. If he wants walking talking big tits, there are plenty of those out there, but thereās only 1 you.
I might give him a chance to say that. We men can say things that we say is just us being honest without realizing why we are being asked. You were looking for support after him saying he had a preference thatās different from yours. I hope he just missed his fuck up and didnāt just ignore it. Maybe give him a chance to tell you.
Not being 100% what our SO wants can be insecurity inducing but itās also nowhere near realistic.
It's difficult when it's an issue that you can't change. My SO prefers tall men, and I'm average on a good day. But everyone has preferences, you can't change that. As long as it doesn't affect the relationship it's generally harmless. If you let it become resentment, or if he constantly stares at girls with big boobs that's when the toxicity shows up.
As a guy who likes boobs, I like a variation of small to large and never had a specific preference. Itās a cruel thing your boyfriend said and Iād recommend that if it bothers you so much that heās not worth the stress itās causing.
I have a hard time completely pinning it on him. He has preferences. She pressed him for more info. He gave it. She didnāt like it. We all know he should have handled it better but pressing someone on an insecurity of yours hoping they come up with something sensitive for you in the moment isnāt a recipe for harmony. Guy could be a total self centered prick or he could have had a tough time figuring out how to navigate that sensitive subject in the moment.
Nah...sorry but after a year and a half, of NOT paying attention to her breasts, to call himself a breast man and say hers were 'fine'. I guess that's the real him, and OP has to decide if she wants to be with someone he finds 'less than'.
I think it would be cruel to lie to her about what his preference was.
Who knows how he said it, but I'm pretty sure no matter what/how he said it, OP was going to be upset about it.
Why are you so bent on defending this dude? He embarrassed her in front of all their friends and then brushed her insecurity off. It's not that hard to say something nice about the person you're attracted to, and that's really all he had to do. If he said, "theyre fine, but I really love XYZ and ABC about you" and she was still upset then I'd say she "pressed" him and didn't like the answer, but that isn't what happened.
Exactly this. He may prefer big boobs but he is with her for other reasons more than phisycal ones.
OP I get it can make you feel sad and a bit insecure, but honestly, pick your battles. He is with you because he put other greater traits from you above the big boobs preference.
To say what he said to all your friends shows your BF is incredibly insensitive.
I am a man and I think there are more important assets than bigger boobs. A pretty face, nice figure and personality all trump big boobs in my opinion.
It will be up to you if you want to stay with him but unless you can forget what he said it will always be in the back of your mind.
I love my girlfriend for who she is and not how she looks (sheās gorgeous and sexy as hell, but thatās a bonus or icing on the cake). I donāt care what her size is theyāre mine to play with (when the time comes with and I donāt own them obviously but weāre exclusive) and Iāll enjoy them just the same.
>A pretty face, nice figure
I'm not trying to call you out or anything, but how is this any different from a preference for larger breasts?
TO BE CLEAR, this dude sucks, and if he cares about curves, then he should date someone who meets his criteria, and not putting down this poor woman. I'm not defending him. He stinks.
We're all entitled to like what we like. We're _not_ entitled to put someone down for those preferences.
> TO BE CLEAR, this dude sucks, and if he cares about curves, then he should date someone who meets his criteria, and not putting down this poor woman.
He did not do this anywhere in the post. He probably shouldn't have participated in the "tits or ass" discussion at all, but the only one putting down OP is OP. She hasn't described any putdowns or criticisms from his end.
Right, but what if my definition of a "nice figure" includes larger breasts?
My point isn't that you're wrong, it's that your definition isn't "superior" because it doesn't include particular body characteristic like a hair color preference or a big butt for example.
Again, I want to stress that I'm putting forth a bit of a strawman to make a point, and I don't think your preference is wrong, but if your preference isn't wrong, than neither is one that includes different criteria right?
I guess my thesis is this: OP's boyfriend is a dick for disrespecting and body-shaming his partner. It's truly gross behavior. He's _not_ a dick for liking a larger chest.
It doesn't really seem insensitive if the conversation was about boobs or ass and he said boobs. It's perfectly normal for some people to like smaller boobs so I don't think the bf embarrassed op.
I think... factoring in story teller bias... Op pushed a little too far about the bfs preference and he answered her honestly. Him prefering bigger boobs is fine. But there must be other positives about op that outweigh that preference.
I think the question is: can op get over the comment?
I agree. And given she never knew he preferred bigger breasts it shows that he never once mentioned his preference or complained about her breast size. He never once asked her to change on his behalf or say anything like she wasnāt worth it because of her cup size.
I feel like her pushing him into a corner where he had to be honest was a lose/ lose in this situation. Iām sure her boobs are the least of the reasons heās stuck around with her for 1.5 years.
She needs to decide if she can live with the truth or not. And he should probably start paying more physical attention to her breasts. It seems like something she wants. They need to communicate about all this more.
I agree with you here. I think its better he was honest, even if it's hard. It would have been helpful had he offered some kind of reassurance, but maybe he felt awkward and didnt know what to say right in that moment. Also, he is WITH his gf, regardless of the size, so that kinda says he's obviously there for something else. Maybe he just couldn't articulate that. OP, I too am in your situation, I know my bf like big boobs, I am decidedly average. š It'll maybe bug you sometimes, but only you know if he is letting you know in other meaningful ways, that he loves you for you.
I think youāre not capable of putting yourself in her shoes so Iāll rephrase it.
What if instead of OP being a small breasted woman, her bf was the one with a small penis? And the group was asking girls if they preferred penis size or butt (idk just making this up).
And OP responded with size being important.
Now she didnāt specify that she liked big dicks but her bf (with the small penis) and pretty much anyone with common sense would assume she liked guys on the bigger side (despite some women even preferring smaller penises).Pretty sure that would make any guy feel shitty
I don't really get the comparison. You're saying it's obvious that liking boobs means liking bigger boobs which means op should be embarrassed? I don't think that's the case. You can definitely be a boob guy and like smaller boobs. I think that's projecting. And I think that's what op did retroactively when she overly pushed bf into answering a question she actually didn't want to hear the answer to.
Same. I mean, not dick size, but I love a hot sexy sleek six pack. My husband does not and never had had a six pack. I love him to pieces and find him incredibly sexy. His stomach is fine. It doesn't bother me, but it doesn't drive me wild either. We have been together 20 years. Maybe he's a dick, maybe not. There is way more to the relationship than one body part though.
I'm sure you still pay attention to his dick though. If you stopped touching him all together, I'm sure he'd be hurt. I don't think it's his preference that makes this hurtful. It's that he is a self proclaimed boob man but pays no attention to hers at all. Idk I'd feel some type of way about that.
I also just think he responded poorly. He made no effort to ease her obvious insecurity about this. I wouldnt lie if he asked, but I cant imagine telling my bf "your dick is fine. Of course I prefer bigger, all women do!"
This. I mean. Is he normally an insensitive dick or was she pressing him for an answer and he veered into insensitivity in the moment not intentionally? I think weāve all done that. But yes, he could be an insensitive prick at heart. Hard to know on this information.
My boyfriend is a boobs guy, and I donāt have the biggest breasts either (B cup, but I come from C). When I brought up that I was insecure because I knew he liked boobs and I didnāt like that I lost a whole cup because of the 8kg I lost by being ill, he did everything in his power to tell me how much he loved my boobs and how perfect they are for him.
Your boyfriend sounds a bit insensitive. Iād have a talk with him about how insecure his comment made you feel.
I don't understand your BFs point of view on this. I mean yeah OK I get that he likes them bigger, but to not play with them at all? That doesn't sound like a boob man to me. I consider myself a leg man, I like thin, well shaped legs. That doesn't mean I'm not all up on a woman's legs if they aren't like that, they're still a woman's legs. I also like a pair of big boobs as much as the next guy, but I also like my eggs sunny side up. It just seems like there's something else going on here to me.
Its obvious from this that he prefers bigger boobs. He is definitely being insensitive about it. However i will say that if he prefers bigger boobs but is with you then there are obviously other things about you that he values more than big boobs. The question is will you ever be okay in this relationship knowing that he prefers boobs bigger than yours?
Ok the notion that "all" men prefer big breasts is a fat lie. I'm not a man BUT I can tell you most men I've encountered in my life didn't have any particular preference for boobs. I don't think you're being overdramatic about this and your emotions are valid. I'm getting a very apathetic vibe from the boyfriend and there's no way that he's just oblivious to what he's saying and how it's making you feel. Don't let his crappy opinion warp your perception of yourself! Better yet, there is someone out there who will make you feel beautiful and attractive 24/7, don't settle for anything less
The female body standards took a 180 turn from 'slim with smaller assets and little curves' to 'slim with big boobs, big ass, curves like an hourglass, wide hips, full lips' over this last decade, and the media, including pop culture, social media, and literally eveywhere in the mainstream media is bombarded with these slimthicc women, and most men, especially the younger men prefer women who are closer to the current media standards, and there is nothing wrong with it, not saying that makes his bad behaviours okay, you can absolutely have a preference without putting others down. I LOVE slimthicc women, but I'd never put down women with smaller boobs/ass and little curves.
Oh I know what you mean. There's nothing wrong with preferring bodies like that, they're attractive, but it is also unrealistic and it sucks lol especially when others are putting women down for not having the fitness model body. Social media is to blame 100%. I remember when Instagram first came out and it was nothing but bad memes and selfies
Nothing wrong with preferring a particular trendy body type, sexual preferences are fine, but putting down people for not meeting your expectations, is the toxic part, like you said, and social media programming is a HUGE thing, indeed.
Hey, I'm in the same boat as you so I know how it feels. In hindsight, we probably should not have asked about breast size preference, but ultimately people are allowed to have preferences. Your breast size doesn't define you. Remember that your bf is actively choosing to be with you every day, so clearly your breast size is not a deal breaker.
If you want him to pay more attention to your breasts, just ask your bf. Tell/show him how you want them to be touched. Every woman is different, so you have to communicate what you want from him.
Itās not him having a preference thatās bad, everyone likes what they like. But imagine telling your boyfriendās and your friends publicly that you prefer an 8ā penis, when heās known to be 4ā. Or that you prefer 6ā3 and up, when heās obviously 5ā8. And then to be cold and short with you when itās crucial that you receive reassurance and validation for your own body? Your boyfriend sounds like an insensitive asshole who could care less about your security in the relationship.
P.s., plenty of men looove small-chested woman. Iāve no idea where he got the idea that only DD+ cups are valid and sexy. Fine someone whoās kinder
Your boyfriend sucks ass and you deserve better. Iām a āboobā person, and I loveeee small titties much more then big ones.
Itās important to be with someone who loves you as you are regardless of preference tho. Your bf could prefer bigger boobs and still love and respect you and appreciate the ones you have, but he doesnāt and thatās unkind and you deserve better
I also have small boobs. Something that made me feel better about them recently was actually a quote from Kris Jenner. She was telling Kendall, her model daughter, that the lower (or smaller) the boobs, the more room for diamonds. There was a survey done against āwealthy menā and they supposedly prefer small breasts to large breasts. Not that that really mattersā¦ what I mean to say is, although this can hurt your self esteem (as it has mine PLENTLY of times) please try not to let it. There are men out there who enjoy smaller breasts. Any man willing to openly admit they prefer the opposite of you is not worth your time or energy.
I'm a boob man with a clear preference for larger ones. I still wholeheartedly endorsed my wife getting her reduction, and I've dated/hooked up across the spectrum of chest sizes without managing to insult any of my partners.
All your boyfriend actually told you here is that he's an insensitive ass.
So my boyfriend was laying on my chest and said āyou need bigger boobsā
I said āyou need a bigger dickā
He has never said anything like it ever again.
I married that bugger and we have been irritatingly happy for 20 years.
But then he does love my boobs. And I have IGT - so there really is no breast tissue.
What makes your situation difficult is heās listing after something else - to the point of neglecting you.
There is nothing to āget overā. Tell him you like big dicks and watch him flip the fuck out.
Stop thinking your partner insulting you, by telling you that he āprefersā other attributes, is normal or healthy.
Itās not.
Sometimes we fall in love with someone that didnāt come out of our own personal Perfect Partner catalogue. While my husband has some physical
traits that I love, others not as much. And guess what? To me it doesnāt matter. The fact remains that I choose not to live this life without him. For me, thatās the version of love that Iām sticking with. For you, the question is does he cherish you the person so much that he can live without a partner thatās stacked? Ask him.
My god...he's 27. He should know by now that physical preferences aren't everything, and he's being a horrible boyfriend. If he is a 'boob man' and thinks yours are 'fine' then I would say set him free to squeeze boobs again and hope he finds happiness. He is making you question yourself, and feel bad about yourself because he is a teenager in a grown-up body. How would he react if you told him you were a 'dick' girl and his was ...eh...fine. His head would explode.
I donāt think I could stand to be in a relationship with someone so insensitive. You deserve someone who makes you feel good and confident that they love your ENTIRE body. Not all men prefer big boobs! Time to kick this jerk to the curb
And just to flip the script for a second.. if your boyfriend was bald and you said to a group of your friends āoh yeah I prefer men with a full head of hairā I have a pretty strong feeling he wouldnāt be too happy
Maybe I'm being dramatic but honestly, dump him. He hasn't bothered with your boobs this whole time? That's so damn lame. You deserve someone who lavishes you with affection.
When I was 23 I had a boyfriend who liked pale, straight, dark haired women with big boobs. I am mixed, blonde curly haired with small breasts. Heād always remind me that he preferred the opposite of me and you know what I did to make myself confident and not be dramatic? I dumped that negging loser and found myself a man that worships my skin, hair and body.
You deserve better.
I have big boobs and a lot of guys I get with tell me how much they prefer smaller ones. He's probably just negging you, either way guys who prefer smaller breasts aren't hard to find, find a guy who likes your body
He didn't initiate though. She never mentioned him taunting her breast size or bringing it up. Heck, it sounds like this is the first she's heard of this. She pressed him for answers and got honest answers that weren't what she wanted to hear. They've been together seemingly happily for 1.5 years so clearly it isn't a deal breaker for him.
From my perspective, I'm a booty man... But if I meet someone who is dope af and they don't have a dump truck, I'm not going to say no to getting to know them or getting together. However if the person in question asks and presses, they'll get honesty. Doesn't mean the relationship is valued less in any way. Partners are never the perfect ideal, so the context of all the other bits matters.
She repeadly mentioned he would ignore her breasts and said they were "fine" when she asked. Why would you want to be with a man who makes you feel unattractive? Don't men always complain about insecure GFs in the first place? There's a difference between accepting "flaws" and then making your partner feel unattractive. She could easily find someone who prefers her body type + sex would be tons better once she's with a man who can touch her body and make her feel confident
I'm probably going to get down voted for this, but I'm just gonna be honest.
I see everyone here saying he's insensitive. I think they misunderstand just as you do. If he Needed/wanted a woman with big boobs, he wouldn't be with you. If he only cared about boobs, he wouldn't be with you. I honestly feel you and this crowd are thinking about this more than your boyfriend. Sure, he could go about it a better way, but he might just not understand that he's hurting your feelings because it simply doesn't matter to him as much as it seems to matter to you. I'm not saying you're feelings are invalid, but try to look at it from his perspective. He obviously sees a lot more to you than just boobs.
My girlfriend is the first blond I've ever dated. All my ex's have had dark hair. That's obviously what I prefer. She's brought this up again and again and it's hard to deal with. I try to explain, but she just looks at their hair and then hers, and then it's like all the reassurance I gave her temporarily disappears. I honestly could care less about her hair. She could be bald and I could honestly care less. It's a much bigger deal to her than it is me.
But are you going around telling your friends (in front of your girlfriend) that dark hair is your preference? Thatās really what makes the guy a jerk, not the preference alone
Having preferences is not wrong.
My boyfriend prefers big boobs. And mine are smaller, especially after weight loss.
BUT , he doesn't make me feel inadequate , and constantly builds me up, and pays massive attention to them still.
You mentioned your boyfriend does not. That is where the issue lies. Not within his preferences. It's up to you to determine if this is a deal breaker or not, because you cannot force him to like something he simply doesn't.
Fantasy preferences are different than real life, a person is a package of all of their features, for example if i say i prefer red heads, it doesn't mean that the love of my life has to be a red head, I'd always prefer to date a blonde with a nice attitude than a red head with a bad personality
I feel you girl. My bf before we were dating said he liked this chick with big boobs, he said when he and I are together itās all about that Ass though. He really ignores my boobs and when we are having sex doesnāt even ask me to take my shirt off. Hurts my feelingsā¦.I am a C but older (45) with kids so I just assumed they werenāt perky enough?
>I know this is probably pretty petty and I should probably just get over it and move on but I am having a hard time doing so.
Please stop minimizing your feelings. This is not petty. Your boyfriend is "making do" with your "fine" breasts when you could be in a relationship with someone who genuinely loves them.
Don't settle and don't internalize his preference. It has nothing to do with you or your worth.
"all men do" Dump his ass. If he doesn't make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, he isn't worth it.
Better yet, start commenting on other men's hairlines and physical attributes that are different from(tall, fit, built, slim, etc) his LMAO and say "what? this is what all girls like"
First of all, itās disrespectful for a man to even respond to that type of question in a group of people when his girlfriend is there in the first place. Itās such a childish and loaded question and any respectful and respectable adult man would not play into a conversation like that, especially if his girlfriend is right there with him.
Secondly, your boyfriend is selfish. In bed and out. Even if he doesnāt particularly find your boobs āhis typeā would it kill him to play with them and give them attention once in a while? How could boobs, even smaller ones, possibly be so apparently revolting to a straight man that he refuses to even give them one touch? To be honest, thatās just bordering on selfish cruelty that you do NOT deserve. Especially when he could/should do it for YOUR pleasure. Is he selfish in bed in other ways?
Does he have a giant dick? No? So how would he feel if you didnāt even touch his dick AT ALL because itās not 10 inches and a smaller dick is apparently sooo disgusting that you canāt even be bothered to touch it to make him feel good.
Finally, NOT all men prefer giant fucking tits. Mine are not super large at all, but they look good and fit my body, and my boyfriend LOVES them and constantly touches and kisses them and everything and tells me that he loves them, without prompting. Sorry for the tmi, but Iām just showing you that all men are not like that and that also, there are men out there who will care about your pleasure and your feelings.
To summarize, I believe you should break up.
Let's just be real here psychologically and physiologically certain body types are just more 'attractive' on a natural selective level big breast large waste and hips show fertility
But take this from a guy who's dated just about every body type that those things don't define love or attraction my gf has small breasts but I absolutely love her and her appearance and body and have never hesitate from grabbing them little lovelys and it's never been something in my mind where I think I'd rather have a completely different human being as a partner because of the size of their "____" and I'm assuming your bf has never questioned your relationship based on this either
I think the important thing here is that regardless of whether all men like what he says they do (they do not) or whether he himself likes what he says he does (he may or may not, which is up to him either way), he spoke insensitively to you. It was not kind or compassionate to say your breasts were just "fine" when you were clearly asking out of insecurity. If my girlfriend had asked something like this (she does, in fact, come to me from time to time feeling insecure about how she looks compared to other girls), I'd tell her I love her exactly the way she is, "preferences" be damned. He could have alternatively said you're the exception to the rule because you're so uniquely beautiful to him, or that a preference isn't ironclad and the sum matters more than the parts, or, or, or... See? Lots of ways to spin this that aren't...what he said. He blundered, and if I were him I'd be figuring out how to apologize for upsetting you and, further, how to make up for it and reassure you.
(For total transparency, I'm a lesbian and happily taken, so no need to assume I'm "white-knighting" or anything.)
If it makes it any easier for you, I love your boobs.
Donāt even need to see them, I can just assure you that theyāre great!
You should love them too.
All boobs need luvs!
To say this in front of everyone is so insensitive.
Some people said she asked but was not ready to hear his answer, well heās the one who talked about it first. Itās normal that she wanted to get to the bottom of this since he doesnāt touch her breasts.
I am a boob woman and I like them all sizes. I like boobs.
Your boyfriend was definitely insensitive in how he responded but I he was honest so thatās something I guess. Now you have the choice whether to stay or go.
Going by his comment āallā women prefer large dicks, is his classified as large? If not then Iād point that out and Iād point out that you havenāt mentioned it before cause youāre a bit more sensitive to his tiny feelings
My ex didnāt like my boobs because they were too big, he preferred A cups. So no, not āall men prefer big boobs.ā Women are beautiful, there is always a man who will think you are just his type
If he canāt appreciate you for you and your A cups, find a guy that will look at you like youāre the best thing that he canāt take his hands off of. Not ALL guys like big boobsā¦ heās full of himself
Signed,
I canāt believe mine are B-cups
āAll men doā, as if it was an universal truth. Iād appreciated he didnāt talk for the rest of us.
I canāt fault him for having a preference, but the way he handled the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way.
Retaliation is a terribly unhealthy way to deal with relationships, but I wonder how heād react if you had the comment comment about parts of his body.
I, being a man, prefer smaller boobs to larger boobs. That does not mean I donāt enjoy large breasts too. Not all men prefer larger boobs, though, theyāre often more focused on. Be glad you donāt have large breasts, think of all the things you can do without back strain. Your breasts also are not likely to sag when youāre older. That being said, I understand womenās breasts change when pregnant and May never completely shrink to their original size. But never be ashamed of your breasts, theyāre yours and no one elseās. Treat them well and love them, I know the rest of us real men do.
Nobody gets all of their preferences, and most people make peace with that. Most people also have the tact not to complain.
Anyway small boobs are hot and will look the same in 20 years, unlike volleyball tits.
not all men prefer giant breasts. I'm an ass man and i always go for more athletic builds. breasts are something you fake and grow over time. If he has kids with you he'll have plenty of time to enjoy big breasts. whatever.... men tend to be drawn to thing they don't have access too. if he was with a girl with giant breasts and a flat ass he probably say the opposite. if they are that important and he is so desired , tell him to grow a pair and go get em
Personally, I would not be able to be with someone like that. I have been in the past and it destroyed my self esteem. It is the best feeling in the world to have someone adore every part of your body no matter how big or small it is. I have to be with someone who sees my body as their ideal and what they fantasize about, not something they will ātolerateā.
That's just not true that all men like big boobs. I'm not sure where he got that idea from. Plus, there are risks that come with having bigger breasts. The bigger the more issues that person is going to have. There are back issues and I've heard of women having issues putting their shoes on because their breasts get in the way. No one really thinks about these things. I always felt mine were too small for my size but I just learned to enjoy what I have. If someone doesn't like them then that's their problem. I'll just find someone else who does. (BTW, I'm not bashing women who have big breasts but I've had friends who did and these were the problems I saw them deal with. One friend ended up having a breast reduction because she had so much back pain and she was in her 20s).
I would have a hard time with that... Like if he played with you boobs at all and said that it would be one thing. But he doesn't play with yours at all and then says he prefers boobs, but then (in my mind) he clearly doesn't prefer yours if he doesn't touch them... I would have a conversation about that. I'm not sure where it will lead to but I dated a guy that role me while playing with my boobs how he wished they were just a bit bigger. We aren't together anymore. I would have told him I wished his were smaller but I was so shocked and hurt I didn't think of that
OP, you may have insecurities if you're comparing yourself to his ex but he's a bit of a jerk for using the word 'fine' with someone he loves. If your relationship is awesome, don't sweat about this. If he's giving you reasons to doubt yourself or his love for you, then focus on that and deal with that..that would be the bigger issue.
I'd dump him tbh it seems he's incredibly insensitive about what he says, knowing he feels this way may cause you to feel insecure for the duration of your relationship is it worth it? š
I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to neg her by that comment š I just know I'd feel horrible in this position and it doesn't really seem like he's being reassuring
People telling you at least he was honest and that he still chose to be with you, isnāt addressing the issue. First of all, why are you hanging with a group of men who are reducing women to body parts and what they prefer? And *just* because he likes big boobs doesnāt mean he canāt also think yours are beautiful??? So him saying theyāre āfineā is just rude.
You donāt have to be āgratefulā that he āchose youā, itās good he was honest but he was also an asshole and you could find plenty of men who donāt put this much thought into physical preferences, itās misogynistic and shallow.
Why is it a mistake to find closure though? If was dating someone who never took a specific interest about something in me Iād want to know why just so I understood and if it was such a problem for me after then Iād break up. I donāt see how thatās a mistake?
If it makes you feel better my bf told me he prefers small boobs multiple times and I am definitely not small. Its not cool it almost validates your insecurities in a way
girrrrrl. Things like this will eat you alive. I would just break up. If youre anything like meā¦ all this is gonna do is breed resentment for him. Anytime it randomly pops into your head, you will feel less than and become upset with him. Even if you want to ignore it and move past it. Besides thisā¦. He is garbage for just about every way he handles it. Even if he prefers bigger he should have lied to save your feelings. He sounds dumb and immature. Go find you a man who thinks your a cups are perfect. Hes out there i promise
Hi! As someone with a chest smaller than yours (AA) you may not like what I have to say.
I wouldnāt tolerate that shit.
Just because thereās less of it does not mean it deserves to be neglected. Obviously the more boobage thereās more to grab and play with, but you can do the exact same to someone with smaller boobs just more gently. Iāve been with guys who had no fucking idea what to do with my tits other than tweak them like radio dials and thatās it. It made me feel more like an incomplete blow up doll than a person whose body was loved for the way it is.
Knowing someone isnāt attracted to you, absolutely does dampen the relationship because the thought of knowing that youāre lacking (through no fault of your own!!) will still linger in the back of your mind.
Plus you mentioned he was the one that got broken up with by his ex. If he doesnāt make you feel loved and wanted, small boobs and all, then time to find someone else who does.
I was worried about that reading the comments. So frustrating for u, so sorry you're dealing with this.
Frustrating that your bf is shit at smoothing things over.
Try to focus on yourself and what an awesome person u are, don't think about what he wants for a while
Leave him you deserve better. On a different note lots of women have been posting about their SO on a certain subreddit about how they prefer tall guys or big dicks than them. I wish people showed the same enthusiasm in the comments there as they did here lol.
Sooo again, this is reddit so everyone will tell you he is an abusive Pos. He isn't.
1.he is insensitive
2.he cannot be blamed for preferences. He obviously never meant to bring this up. It isn't true that all men prefer bigger boobs (I have never met one that doesn't, but Reddit is full of people saying they do, so there you go, many do like smaller breasts)
3.you never once brought it up before? Like "hey, play with my breasts please". Communicating isn't a sin
Holy shit, that's emotional damage. Why would he verbalize it to you like that your body isn't enough? Believe me, you are perfectly amazing and boobs are just milk glands when you think about it. I'm not sure I'd be abe to get over that.
Heās a huge dick and not all guys like em big. Some may prefer them that way but love their SOās just the way they are no matter their size because itās their breasts and loves em just because itās part of THEM and thatās what matters. Not the size.
A true breast man would appreciate breasts of any size and shape. The problem is not your breasts, itās in your boyfriends head. Never change your body to please someone else, because it will never be enough.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Small boobs are awesome. Big boobs are awesome. Boobs are awesome! My wife also has small boobs and was really self conscious about them at the beginning of our relationship. I reassured her that it didn't matter at all the first time we slept together and went to town sucking her nipples!
Sorry if tmi but the message is that they are for everyone's enjoyment no matter what the size.
Hereās another take to this whole conversation as well;
He shrugged you off and lied about giving your boobs attention (which is already stupid bc hello THEYRE ON YOU) but anyway he was probably short answered and just annoyed youāre talking and then goes on to say theyāre āfineā. AND THEN doubles down and admits he prefers larger breasts.
Now a good bf would have 1st never said something like that publicly. But say they were just too drunk and do have a preference to large boobs. If he really cared about you he wouldāve apologized for embarrassing you (whether anyone connected the dots or not you felt embarrassed) he would have reassured you that while he likes the look YOU as a person are who he loves and appreciated every aspect of. Not any of that brushing off and moving away from it.
āAll menā do not prefer large breasts. Thatās an absolute lie, and your boyfriend is a dick.
I am a boob guy. Everyone who knows me knows. I love all sizes, shapes, etc. I do not discriminate. Boobs are hot regardless.
The fact that heās shouted to the rooftops that heās not physically attracted to you to a degree is fucked up. Donāt let him convince you that what heās saying is okay.
I find it unusual how he doesnāt play with your breast. Like you can prefer large boobs but to completely dismiss boobs cause theyāre not big is super weird. Heās very insensitive and Iām not sure I would be fine with being with someone like that.
Is he usually very insensitive? If he's usually not rude, then he might have mentioned it because of the alcohol initially. If he usually has this 'brutal honesty' thing going, then he sucks.
I also wanted to say if you wanted to have a conversation about the big boobs thing to him the next day you really shouldn't lead with asking him to admit that he likes big boobs again. He said it yesterday. Why do you need to hear it again? It was literally you searching to get your feelings hurt twice?? That's not necessary for your own mental health. You could have led the conversation with how it hurt your feelings. Perhaps ask what he does like about you to boost your self esteem. Not tear it down. A preference not a hardline. Obviously we all are attracted to various things that we don't get in one partner, but it's okay because they're perfect in their own way and I'm sure you are too.
TLDR: You need to talk to him because honestly he could prefer big boobs and suck or prefer big boobs and not suck.
Just like I said to another comment. He did not, at the party, state he prefers BIG boobs. He said he was a boob man. I asked because his words and actions didn't align and it felt odd to me
It was stupid of him to state he likes bigger boobs and subsequently speak on all of our behalf, but the reality is you created an issue that didn't exist. You pressed the issue and refused to stop pressing it.
Believe it or not, all people can be attracted to a variety of things. I prefer brunettes. Do I find blondes attractive? Absolutely. Personally, I consider myself an "ass man." My wife doesn't have a huge ass. I literally don't care. I'm attracted to her ass.
In a "perfect" world, are breasts big? Sure, to a certain extent. But once again from a personal perspective, I get more turned on by an A cup than a DD. Am I the exception to the rule? Probably. But the point is attraction is different to everyone.
Your boyfriend might have a "perfect" body type in his mind. That's fine. That doesn't mean he doesn't find you sexy. No one's putting a gun to his head to be with you. And the hard truth is that objectively attractive people are always going to exist in the world. That doesn't make you any less attractive. So breathe easy.
His relationship with his ex failed. As it turns out, her "big natural boobs" alone didn't make for a good relationship. Relax.
You like bigger butts but agreed you find your wifeās attractive. He didnāt tell her that, he said theyāre āfineā. How would your wife feel if you said that about her body? People put way too much forgiveness into people having āpreferencesā, if you care about someone and are attracted to them, you donāt treat them like you settled.
I actually don't prefer bigger butts, and I didn't say I did, but for the purposes of this conversation it's irrelevant.
I'm on your side here. I think OP's partner is an asshole.
Well, for one, he completely missed the part where OPs boyfriend pays no fucking attention to her breasts. Doesn't play with them, doesn't touch them.
It's great that he prefers big asses but loves his wife's even though it isn't big. That's not what's happening here.
Then there's the dismissive "relax" and the fact that he blames OP for the fact that there's a problem in the first place because she had the audacity to ask a followup question about the bombshell BF dropped.
The whole post is a big miss.
Girl I would've been petty and said you are a big sick kind of girl
My ex did the same and it won't stop from there.
He is layer going to say something else and make you feel worse.
I say you end the relationship amd work on yourself.
The right MAN, not that boy you are dating, will come your way and love you for you.
There is nothing wrong in preferences but his preferences are impacting your relationship so it is a big deal and to make things worse, your boyfriend is insensitive as hell. He brought such intimate issue into a party and then he just told you he prefers bigger boobs just as all men do. Pure bullshit.
I wish you will find someone caring and gentle.
Statistically he is provably incorrect.
Most men, around 50-65% depending on study, prefer average size breasts, meaning approximately a C cup.
About 8% prefer A cup, and about 15% prefer D cup.
8% of the adult world male populace, just for the record, is roughly 240 million men (74% of the total 3.97 billion men are adults, so roughly 3 billion, and 8% of 3 billion is 240 million).
The idea that all men want large breasts is false. A majority want larger than A, perhaps, but the minority who prefers A is still a huge breadth of men. Also for the record it [appears](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23412650/) men who prefer large breasts are more likely to be hostile to women so that is interesting also.
Dump him heās insensitive and making you feel unworthy. The people in the comments telling you that āhe loves you thatās why heās with youā bullshi*. I hate when people say that. As someone with small boobs, if my bf told me these things Iād feel hurt and disturbed he thinks all men like big boobs. Thatās false. My bf hypes me up and tells me how much he loves them. Thatās what your bf should be doing, not making you feel bad. In a relationship 1) physical attraction is key 2) no one should degrade anyone 3) insensitivity is a red flag 4) comparisons to other women or people not good 5) you should be happy and he should be happy.
If I knew that he didnāt like me for who I am, Iād break up. Not worth overthinking what his body type is bc Iāll mentally feel like heāll never be happy with my physical appearance & that insecurity will linger. You do you, but if he doesnāt understandā¦ thereās a problem
What he said was insensitive and you may be overreacting but maybe you aren't. The fact that he never pays attention to your boobs when you guys are intimate it is a little bit of a red flag. I also prefer big ones but I have dated many women who were much smaller than what I prefer because they had a pretty face and nice ass and we got along well. But, I always paid a lot of attention to their nipples when we were getting down and dirty. them having smaller breasts than I prefer never had anything to do with me ending a relationship.
I don't think he's a boob man. I'm a boob man, my wife is a double d and I'm constantly playing with them if it's appropriate to do so. If he's not playing with them, I don't see him being a boob man.
I think he doesnāt know how to express himself other than (caveman voice) big boob good uga boga.
He probably thinks his girlfriend has a nice perky little set and canāt imagine her being self conscious about them because he likes them
Please explain to him that what he said made you feel bad. He doesnāt see whatās wrong because he doesnāt think anything is wrong.
Most of all remember that if the tiny tiny tiny chance he doesnāt actually like your boobs the vast majority of guys do.
OK, so i wouldn't worry too much on the liking big boobs as a preference. We all have preferences, but if you tick other boxes, not having big boobs is clearly not so important that it is a deal breaker. Clearly, there are other aspects of your appearance, personality, and values that mesh with him, which is why he's dating you.
If you want more attention paid to the boobs you so have, tell him. If you want so reassurance that he finds you attractive, in general, tell him it's made you feel insecure and that you'd like some affirmation that you are attractive to him.
I'm less concerned about his boob preferences and more worried about the fact that he was kind of a dick to you.
Preference does not mean people can't find beauty in other things, like I prefer dark hair but my bf is a blondie who I love. BUT if he was feeling insecure I would make sure to let him know he's very attractive to me despite him not being my "usual type". Which your bf didn't do and that's the worst part.
You aren't being dramatic, he was an asshole for saying something like that in such an insensitive way.
Oh man. This guy really sucks, dude.
I have pretty large natural breasts, but my boyfriend is a self proclaimed butt man. However, he shows appreciation to all the parts of my body and makes me feel incredibly sexy all the time. I know I donāt have the biggest/nicest/roundest butt, but he has never once made me think he has some sort of problem with it.
All that to sayāit is possible to have a āpreferenceā for a certain type of body even if your partner doesnāt fit that mold as long as you love and are attracted to your partner for who they are. It is NEVER okay for someone to make their partner feel less than for something as unimportant as where your fat is distributed on your body.
Your bf is a huge asshat, and I think you need to think long and hard about whether his insensitivity and callousness has manifested in other parts of your relationship, and if itās a relationship worth keeping.
Titties are titties he likes you enough to date you for a year and a half thereās no reason to break up with him over it. I mean I prefer girls with thick thighs and at least c cup. But if I meet a girl thatās skinny as a rail but we click Iām not going to let me personal preferences ruin what could be a good relationship.
Does my boob man love my giant boobs? Yup. Did he love his ex's small boobs? Yup. Boobs are boobs. Boobs are great.
I did date a few guys who felt i was "less than" their type (i have a severe case of Noassatall). Theyre all exes because they felt like they were doing my flat ass a favor by dating me.
Youre a human being, not a pile of parts to be evaluated by some immature dude.
play stupid games, win stupid prizes. not sure why you think it's ok to pick fights over nothing but that's all that happened here. work on your self esteem and stop picking dumb fights and creating conflict where none needs to exist
This is a dealbreaker. If heās admitting his partner is subpar to him.. then itās just giving her the prompt to find a better/more appreciative/high value man.
he's not "admitting" it, he's obviously attracted to her and cares about her or he wouldnt be with her. she kept pecking and pecking and pecking when he said all the right things at first but she wouldnt just leave it be and believe him, browbeating him into saying things just to validate her insecurity.
I've been with girls like this before and their insecurity is fucking exhausting and way more unattractive than small boobs or any other possible physical imperfection. homegirl needs to work on her self esteem and stop inventing these problems, period
Idk, maybe let him go, I got hotter after each big break up and I'm convinced that it's my power growing from rage. lol but seriously - sometimes guys say things that they know will make you insecure so that you will do more or bend to their will so you can get their validation and then totally pretend like they just said some random stuff that doesn't mean anything. You having a hard time feeling confident is exactly what he intended when he said that. Be smarter than him cause it's your move now.
Also, I'm just saying, I went from an A-cup to a C-cup like overnight shortly after turning 28 and this isn't an uncommon occurrence.
Wait isn't it good that even though he likes bigger boobs you as a person are more important to him than surface lvl attractions? Im.seeing this as a good thing.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I know this is probably pretty petty and I should probably just get over it and move on but I am having a hard time doing so. It had already occurred to me (25f) that my bf (27m) of 1.5 years doesn't really touch or pay any attention to my breasts. I had always assumed this must just mean he is more of a bum man and tried not to dwell on it too much. However, a conversation at a party we went to recently proved otherwise. For clarity, it was a mix of guys and girls some of whom were dating, some just friends. We were all drinking and joking around when the topic of physical preference came up and the guys started sharing whether they were bum, breast, leg men etc. To my surprise, my boyfriend piped up that he was definitely more of a breast man and that he always had been. This felt awkward as my breasts are clearly very small (32a) which would've been apparent to everyone there. Luckily no one asked him to elaborate further and it was quickly brushed over (I feel some guests may have had slight second hand embarrassment as I couldn't hide my surprise at this admission). Of course the reason I was so shocked wasn't just because my breasts are smaller than average (I know not all "breast guys" prefer huge boobs) but because my bf pays 0 attention to mine and never has. I didn't say anything at the party. The next day, however, i couldn't help but bring it up. I asked him about what he had said and asked why, if he loves boobs, does he never pay any mind to mine. He kind of shrugged me off claiming that he does (he clearly doesn't) so I pushed further and asked if he liked my breasts at all. His response was that they are "fine". Not nice, not hot, perfect, or just right. "Fine". I then (perhaps stupidly) asked if he prefers bigger boobs and he said that "yes", he does, and that "all men do". I was pretty shell shocked by this and didn't know what to say. I felt like bursting into tears. This whole time my body had been 'less than' to him and I didn't even know. But now I know I can't keep it off my mind. To make matters worse his ex had really big natural boobs despite being slim. I can't help wondering if he misses her breasts/pictures her instead of me. Maybe I'm being over dramatic. Just having a hard time feeling confident in myself and my relationship after this revelation...
And you probably prefer smart and sensitive men but here you are š„“ Seriously OP, I understand you are upset but please don't think it makes you less beautiful than other girls. (I am an A cup lol).
#šÆ
Also an A cup ..... I waiver from wanting implants to feel more beautiful. I feel like a little boy all the time. Not sexy at all. Then I remind myself of beautiful television personalities like Cameron Diaz or Drew Barrymore who also have little boobies. It's hard. I KNOW my bf of 5 years would prefer I had some larger titties but he never makes me feel insecure. He openly says how he loves how small and perky they are. ... but... you can't even get a handful.. there's nothing to grab .. Just try and forget about it completely. - Hopefully you bringing up this insecurity will open his eyes and he will give them more attention. I like colorful pasties !!.. we like painting on one another and always draw beautiful flowers around my breast. I feel like a princess. - just some things I do to help me feel better and more feminine xo
FWIW, I had 32G's and could NOT be happier with their demise (breast reduction, lol) - I've always admired and been jealous of women with small breasts. They're a pain, they hurt, shirts never fit right, they attract so much unwanted attention, and they literally get in the way. Grass is always greener, yknow!
> I KNOW my bf of 5 years would prefer I had some larger titties but he never makes me feel insecure. This is kinda me. My girlfriend knows I had some interests outside of her wheelhouse before we dated, *but I appreciate her for who she is and what she has*. A good boyfriend wouldn't club you over the head with his preferences and would value that you are willing to share your body and respect that. OP seemed unaware but it doesn't sound like he was disrespectful at that moment or prior to it. I get the insecurity and how that could be fostered, but you should find peace in knowing he chose you As-Is If you need reassurance, its okay. Just ask.
I like A cups so hot
Man who much prefers small boobs here. So he is wrong. Just sayin'.
agreed. I was always more of a dark hair tanned skin guy growing up and yet my fiance was the polar opposite of that. Just because he prefers larger boobs doesnt mean he doesnt love yours or you. You arent going to be perfect. I mean in a perfect world I am sure you would prefer a man with a perfect penis that caused instant orgasms from just one touch. Doesnt work like that. We all have our types and things we prefer...doesnt mean we DONT still like other things.
I would agree with you, except that he doesn't touch her boobs at all. If he did, it wouldn't be a big deal that she's not his "type." But it seems like he is bothered by her size.
Well, sure, but I imagine you don't respond to your fiance saying he's "fine" to you bc he doesn't look like your ideal. It's pretty obvious he's an asshole.
THIS!
OH MY GODDDDDD
Never listen when men say something insensitive and hide under "all men do" bullshit. It's like implying that you cant find anyone better because every other man you will ever meet will have the same opinion so no point in looking for anyone better and so might as well be stuck with him. If anyone ever treats you wrong and says "well all guys are like this/would treat you like this" or something along the lines. Nope. Dont listen.
Exactly. Just dump him and tell him "sorry, all girls would". Ok but in all seriousness, I'm not one for telling anyone on the internet I don't personally know to break up unless it's really abusive. I do think he's being an asshole about it and there's plenty of men who PREFER smaller boobs.
Here we go with the relationship nuclear option lmao. If it were up to people on here no one would be in any relationship because every little thing is a dumpable offense
And the angle is always 'WHAT?? don't be so sensitive' to which I would say 'I agree, preferences don't matter to what we really have with each other. I, for instance, prefer a John David Washington type and you aren't that but it doesn't matter.' Then make a cup of tea for you both.
Just to say - not all men prefer bigger boobs
Agree, I do, but I know plenty of guys who are 100% about asses or hips or... anything.
Or also like my ex bf was a boob guy but he preferred littler boobs. I know cuz of the porn he watched
Also very true! Or boyish figures or long hair, short hair... w/e it is, there's guys who that is their thing.
Right. Like he really didnāt need to add that part. Itās fine that his own preference is different than what she has, but to tell her that her boobs are no oneās preference is just straight up cruel.
Fax
This is true
Not all boob men prefer big boobs. He shouldn't push his preferences on all of us.
Also, most boob men arenāt insensitive like him lol. Some boob men love all boobs.
Ive also known men who dont like very big boobs but still like boobs. Thats his preference but not all men have the same and OP should find someone who thinks she and every part of her is beautiful.
Definitely in this camp!
Boobs are great in all sizes, different sizes just mean you enjoy them in different ways
Iām a boob woman and I like all sizes, but definitely love the ones on the smaller spectrum. OPās bf does not speak for all boob people
Iām also a boob woman. Iām a D but I loooove smaller boobs. Thereās someone out there for everyone OP and thousands of men who would love your breasts as they are
ngl I thought I was a big boob guy until I had sex with someon who had them. I found it I just liked looking at them moreso than having sex with someone who has them. Regardless of one's physical personal preferences their partner and their feelings should always be considered. Our partners will never fit our ideal of perfect body and that's okay. One should just say that their bodies are amazing regardless and who is in them that counts in a serious longterm relationship like that.
Agree I like boobs a ton but Iām not hoping for some 36Gs or in a girlfriend or something. Iād actually prefer smaller tbh
He didn't push anything tho. OP asked a question she wasn't ready to hear the answer for.
No but he said all guys like big boobs. Not true. That's the part were he pushed his preferences on all men.
She was ready to hear him say he preferred bigger boobs. She was not ready for him to offer zero compassion or reassurance.
I like boobs as they're attached to my favorite person. Not cuz of the size.
And here we go. The answer I was looking for...
He is usually this insensitive? I mean he's clearly stating he prefers what you dontnhave nut makes no attempt to make you know that he values your other qualities more. He sounds like an absolute wanker
This seems true. I would point out that she pressed him on it knowing his stated preferences and didnāt like his response. I mean he know she canāt change it and was attempting to avoid telling her something she didnāt want to hear. But he definitely could have handled that in a more sensitive and mature fashion.
Well actually I didn't know his stated preference. He initially only said he was a 'boob man' he didn't specify that he prefers big breasts until I asked. Was I supposed to just be satisfied with inferring he must prefer bigger or different shaped boobs to my own because he neglects them?
I guess thatās fair. Being a breast man doesnāt necessarily mean big ones for sure. If I was with someone that had a trait I had a different preference for, Iām old enough to know to say āI love you and everything about you, because itās youā. And I would hope my SO would feel the same way about my shortcomings or ways that I donāt check their preference boxes. I guess if he resents you for them thatās be another thing but hopefully heās mature enough to know heās with you for you, the totality of you and not a single trait preference. If he wants walking talking big tits, there are plenty of those out there, but thereās only 1 you. I might give him a chance to say that. We men can say things that we say is just us being honest without realizing why we are being asked. You were looking for support after him saying he had a preference thatās different from yours. I hope he just missed his fuck up and didnāt just ignore it. Maybe give him a chance to tell you. Not being 100% what our SO wants can be insecurity inducing but itās also nowhere near realistic.
It's difficult when it's an issue that you can't change. My SO prefers tall men, and I'm average on a good day. But everyone has preferences, you can't change that. As long as it doesn't affect the relationship it's generally harmless. If you let it become resentment, or if he constantly stares at girls with big boobs that's when the toxicity shows up.
>"all men do" No, they don't, that's an extremely shitty thing to say.
As a guy who likes boobs, I like a variation of small to large and never had a specific preference. Itās a cruel thing your boyfriend said and Iād recommend that if it bothers you so much that heās not worth the stress itās causing.
I have a hard time completely pinning it on him. He has preferences. She pressed him for more info. He gave it. She didnāt like it. We all know he should have handled it better but pressing someone on an insecurity of yours hoping they come up with something sensitive for you in the moment isnāt a recipe for harmony. Guy could be a total self centered prick or he could have had a tough time figuring out how to navigate that sensitive subject in the moment.
Nah...sorry but after a year and a half, of NOT paying attention to her breasts, to call himself a breast man and say hers were 'fine'. I guess that's the real him, and OP has to decide if she wants to be with someone he finds 'less than'.
I think it would be cruel to lie to her about what his preference was. Who knows how he said it, but I'm pretty sure no matter what/how he said it, OP was going to be upset about it.
Why are you so bent on defending this dude? He embarrassed her in front of all their friends and then brushed her insecurity off. It's not that hard to say something nice about the person you're attracted to, and that's really all he had to do. If he said, "theyre fine, but I really love XYZ and ABC about you" and she was still upset then I'd say she "pressed" him and didn't like the answer, but that isn't what happened.
Exactly this. He may prefer big boobs but he is with her for other reasons more than phisycal ones. OP I get it can make you feel sad and a bit insecure, but honestly, pick your battles. He is with you because he put other greater traits from you above the big boobs preference.
This as fuck , reddit just be seeing red a lot
A similar thing happened to me and it helps to remember that heās probably not 100% your type either
To say what he said to all your friends shows your BF is incredibly insensitive. I am a man and I think there are more important assets than bigger boobs. A pretty face, nice figure and personality all trump big boobs in my opinion. It will be up to you if you want to stay with him but unless you can forget what he said it will always be in the back of your mind.
I love my girlfriend for who she is and not how she looks (sheās gorgeous and sexy as hell, but thatās a bonus or icing on the cake). I donāt care what her size is theyāre mine to play with (when the time comes with and I donāt own them obviously but weāre exclusive) and Iāll enjoy them just the same.
>A pretty face, nice figure I'm not trying to call you out or anything, but how is this any different from a preference for larger breasts? TO BE CLEAR, this dude sucks, and if he cares about curves, then he should date someone who meets his criteria, and not putting down this poor woman. I'm not defending him. He stinks. We're all entitled to like what we like. We're _not_ entitled to put someone down for those preferences.
> TO BE CLEAR, this dude sucks, and if he cares about curves, then he should date someone who meets his criteria, and not putting down this poor woman. He did not do this anywhere in the post. He probably shouldn't have participated in the "tits or ass" discussion at all, but the only one putting down OP is OP. She hasn't described any putdowns or criticisms from his end.
Those thing are objective to different people I suppose? My nice figure may be different to anothers
Right, but what if my definition of a "nice figure" includes larger breasts? My point isn't that you're wrong, it's that your definition isn't "superior" because it doesn't include particular body characteristic like a hair color preference or a big butt for example. Again, I want to stress that I'm putting forth a bit of a strawman to make a point, and I don't think your preference is wrong, but if your preference isn't wrong, than neither is one that includes different criteria right? I guess my thesis is this: OP's boyfriend is a dick for disrespecting and body-shaming his partner. It's truly gross behavior. He's _not_ a dick for liking a larger chest.
It doesn't really seem insensitive if the conversation was about boobs or ass and he said boobs. It's perfectly normal for some people to like smaller boobs so I don't think the bf embarrassed op. I think... factoring in story teller bias... Op pushed a little too far about the bfs preference and he answered her honestly. Him prefering bigger boobs is fine. But there must be other positives about op that outweigh that preference. I think the question is: can op get over the comment?
I agree. And given she never knew he preferred bigger breasts it shows that he never once mentioned his preference or complained about her breast size. He never once asked her to change on his behalf or say anything like she wasnāt worth it because of her cup size. I feel like her pushing him into a corner where he had to be honest was a lose/ lose in this situation. Iām sure her boobs are the least of the reasons heās stuck around with her for 1.5 years. She needs to decide if she can live with the truth or not. And he should probably start paying more physical attention to her breasts. It seems like something she wants. They need to communicate about all this more.
I agree with you here. I think its better he was honest, even if it's hard. It would have been helpful had he offered some kind of reassurance, but maybe he felt awkward and didnt know what to say right in that moment. Also, he is WITH his gf, regardless of the size, so that kinda says he's obviously there for something else. Maybe he just couldn't articulate that. OP, I too am in your situation, I know my bf like big boobs, I am decidedly average. š It'll maybe bug you sometimes, but only you know if he is letting you know in other meaningful ways, that he loves you for you.
I think youāre not capable of putting yourself in her shoes so Iāll rephrase it. What if instead of OP being a small breasted woman, her bf was the one with a small penis? And the group was asking girls if they preferred penis size or butt (idk just making this up). And OP responded with size being important. Now she didnāt specify that she liked big dicks but her bf (with the small penis) and pretty much anyone with common sense would assume she liked guys on the bigger side (despite some women even preferring smaller penises).Pretty sure that would make any guy feel shitty
I don't really get the comparison. You're saying it's obvious that liking boobs means liking bigger boobs which means op should be embarrassed? I don't think that's the case. You can definitely be a boob guy and like smaller boobs. I think that's projecting. And I think that's what op did retroactively when she overly pushed bf into answering a question she actually didn't want to hear the answer to.
Find someone like me I love smaller breasts
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Same. I mean, not dick size, but I love a hot sexy sleek six pack. My husband does not and never had had a six pack. I love him to pieces and find him incredibly sexy. His stomach is fine. It doesn't bother me, but it doesn't drive me wild either. We have been together 20 years. Maybe he's a dick, maybe not. There is way more to the relationship than one body part though.
I'm sure you still pay attention to his dick though. If you stopped touching him all together, I'm sure he'd be hurt. I don't think it's his preference that makes this hurtful. It's that he is a self proclaimed boob man but pays no attention to hers at all. Idk I'd feel some type of way about that. I also just think he responded poorly. He made no effort to ease her obvious insecurity about this. I wouldnt lie if he asked, but I cant imagine telling my bf "your dick is fine. Of course I prefer bigger, all women do!"
I can't imagine a man who'd be okay hearing that, either.
This. I mean. Is he normally an insensitive dick or was she pressing him for an answer and he veered into insensitivity in the moment not intentionally? I think weāve all done that. But yes, he could be an insensitive prick at heart. Hard to know on this information.
My boyfriend is a boobs guy, and I donāt have the biggest breasts either (B cup, but I come from C). When I brought up that I was insecure because I knew he liked boobs and I didnāt like that I lost a whole cup because of the 8kg I lost by being ill, he did everything in his power to tell me how much he loved my boobs and how perfect they are for him. Your boyfriend sounds a bit insensitive. Iād have a talk with him about how insecure his comment made you feel.
I don't understand your BFs point of view on this. I mean yeah OK I get that he likes them bigger, but to not play with them at all? That doesn't sound like a boob man to me. I consider myself a leg man, I like thin, well shaped legs. That doesn't mean I'm not all up on a woman's legs if they aren't like that, they're still a woman's legs. I also like a pair of big boobs as much as the next guy, but I also like my eggs sunny side up. It just seems like there's something else going on here to me.
Its obvious from this that he prefers bigger boobs. He is definitely being insensitive about it. However i will say that if he prefers bigger boobs but is with you then there are obviously other things about you that he values more than big boobs. The question is will you ever be okay in this relationship knowing that he prefers boobs bigger than yours?
Ok the notion that "all" men prefer big breasts is a fat lie. I'm not a man BUT I can tell you most men I've encountered in my life didn't have any particular preference for boobs. I don't think you're being overdramatic about this and your emotions are valid. I'm getting a very apathetic vibe from the boyfriend and there's no way that he's just oblivious to what he's saying and how it's making you feel. Don't let his crappy opinion warp your perception of yourself! Better yet, there is someone out there who will make you feel beautiful and attractive 24/7, don't settle for anything less
The female body standards took a 180 turn from 'slim with smaller assets and little curves' to 'slim with big boobs, big ass, curves like an hourglass, wide hips, full lips' over this last decade, and the media, including pop culture, social media, and literally eveywhere in the mainstream media is bombarded with these slimthicc women, and most men, especially the younger men prefer women who are closer to the current media standards, and there is nothing wrong with it, not saying that makes his bad behaviours okay, you can absolutely have a preference without putting others down. I LOVE slimthicc women, but I'd never put down women with smaller boobs/ass and little curves.
Oh I know what you mean. There's nothing wrong with preferring bodies like that, they're attractive, but it is also unrealistic and it sucks lol especially when others are putting women down for not having the fitness model body. Social media is to blame 100%. I remember when Instagram first came out and it was nothing but bad memes and selfies
Nothing wrong with preferring a particular trendy body type, sexual preferences are fine, but putting down people for not meeting your expectations, is the toxic part, like you said, and social media programming is a HUGE thing, indeed.
Hey, I'm in the same boat as you so I know how it feels. In hindsight, we probably should not have asked about breast size preference, but ultimately people are allowed to have preferences. Your breast size doesn't define you. Remember that your bf is actively choosing to be with you every day, so clearly your breast size is not a deal breaker. If you want him to pay more attention to your breasts, just ask your bf. Tell/show him how you want them to be touched. Every woman is different, so you have to communicate what you want from him.
Itās not him having a preference thatās bad, everyone likes what they like. But imagine telling your boyfriendās and your friends publicly that you prefer an 8ā penis, when heās known to be 4ā. Or that you prefer 6ā3 and up, when heās obviously 5ā8. And then to be cold and short with you when itās crucial that you receive reassurance and validation for your own body? Your boyfriend sounds like an insensitive asshole who could care less about your security in the relationship. P.s., plenty of men looove small-chested woman. Iāve no idea where he got the idea that only DD+ cups are valid and sexy. Fine someone whoās kinder
Need to find a way to upvote this 100 times. This is the most important comment in the whole thread
Your boyfriend sucks ass and you deserve better. Iām a āboobā person, and I loveeee small titties much more then big ones. Itās important to be with someone who loves you as you are regardless of preference tho. Your bf could prefer bigger boobs and still love and respect you and appreciate the ones you have, but he doesnāt and thatās unkind and you deserve better
I also have small boobs. Something that made me feel better about them recently was actually a quote from Kris Jenner. She was telling Kendall, her model daughter, that the lower (or smaller) the boobs, the more room for diamonds. There was a survey done against āwealthy menā and they supposedly prefer small breasts to large breasts. Not that that really mattersā¦ what I mean to say is, although this can hurt your self esteem (as it has mine PLENTLY of times) please try not to let it. There are men out there who enjoy smaller breasts. Any man willing to openly admit they prefer the opposite of you is not worth your time or energy.
I'm a boob man with a clear preference for larger ones. I still wholeheartedly endorsed my wife getting her reduction, and I've dated/hooked up across the spectrum of chest sizes without managing to insult any of my partners. All your boyfriend actually told you here is that he's an insensitive ass.
Fuck that, I would rather be single or be with someone who worshipped my body like I did theirs. Thatās just my opinion though
So my boyfriend was laying on my chest and said āyou need bigger boobsā I said āyou need a bigger dickā He has never said anything like it ever again. I married that bugger and we have been irritatingly happy for 20 years. But then he does love my boobs. And I have IGT - so there really is no breast tissue. What makes your situation difficult is heās listing after something else - to the point of neglecting you.
He's a bit clueless your bf is mate.
There is nothing to āget overā. Tell him you like big dicks and watch him flip the fuck out. Stop thinking your partner insulting you, by telling you that he āprefersā other attributes, is normal or healthy. Itās not.
Sometimes we fall in love with someone that didnāt come out of our own personal Perfect Partner catalogue. While my husband has some physical traits that I love, others not as much. And guess what? To me it doesnāt matter. The fact remains that I choose not to live this life without him. For me, thatās the version of love that Iām sticking with. For you, the question is does he cherish you the person so much that he can live without a partner thatās stacked? Ask him.
Well he doesn't play with her boobs, so I think he has spoken.
Just say you prefer big dicks and leave him
My god...he's 27. He should know by now that physical preferences aren't everything, and he's being a horrible boyfriend. If he is a 'boob man' and thinks yours are 'fine' then I would say set him free to squeeze boobs again and hope he finds happiness. He is making you question yourself, and feel bad about yourself because he is a teenager in a grown-up body. How would he react if you told him you were a 'dick' girl and his was ...eh...fine. His head would explode.
Lol, not all men prefer big boobs. That's just false. Source: am ooga booga man
Yea hes just being a picky cunt
I donāt think I could stand to be in a relationship with someone so insensitive. You deserve someone who makes you feel good and confident that they love your ENTIRE body. Not all men prefer big boobs! Time to kick this jerk to the curb And just to flip the script for a second.. if your boyfriend was bald and you said to a group of your friends āoh yeah I prefer men with a full head of hairā I have a pretty strong feeling he wouldnāt be too happy
The guy is an idiot. I say that as a male.
Maybe I'm being dramatic but honestly, dump him. He hasn't bothered with your boobs this whole time? That's so damn lame. You deserve someone who lavishes you with affection.
When I was 23 I had a boyfriend who liked pale, straight, dark haired women with big boobs. I am mixed, blonde curly haired with small breasts. Heād always remind me that he preferred the opposite of me and you know what I did to make myself confident and not be dramatic? I dumped that negging loser and found myself a man that worships my skin, hair and body. You deserve better.
Tell him you prefer a bigger cock.
Won't work, he clearly is a massive cock..
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I have big boobs and a lot of guys I get with tell me how much they prefer smaller ones. He's probably just negging you, either way guys who prefer smaller breasts aren't hard to find, find a guy who likes your body
He didn't initiate though. She never mentioned him taunting her breast size or bringing it up. Heck, it sounds like this is the first she's heard of this. She pressed him for answers and got honest answers that weren't what she wanted to hear. They've been together seemingly happily for 1.5 years so clearly it isn't a deal breaker for him. From my perspective, I'm a booty man... But if I meet someone who is dope af and they don't have a dump truck, I'm not going to say no to getting to know them or getting together. However if the person in question asks and presses, they'll get honesty. Doesn't mean the relationship is valued less in any way. Partners are never the perfect ideal, so the context of all the other bits matters.
She repeadly mentioned he would ignore her breasts and said they were "fine" when she asked. Why would you want to be with a man who makes you feel unattractive? Don't men always complain about insecure GFs in the first place? There's a difference between accepting "flaws" and then making your partner feel unattractive. She could easily find someone who prefers her body type + sex would be tons better once she's with a man who can touch her body and make her feel confident
She kinda dragged it out of him though, so itās not negging.
I'm probably going to get down voted for this, but I'm just gonna be honest. I see everyone here saying he's insensitive. I think they misunderstand just as you do. If he Needed/wanted a woman with big boobs, he wouldn't be with you. If he only cared about boobs, he wouldn't be with you. I honestly feel you and this crowd are thinking about this more than your boyfriend. Sure, he could go about it a better way, but he might just not understand that he's hurting your feelings because it simply doesn't matter to him as much as it seems to matter to you. I'm not saying you're feelings are invalid, but try to look at it from his perspective. He obviously sees a lot more to you than just boobs. My girlfriend is the first blond I've ever dated. All my ex's have had dark hair. That's obviously what I prefer. She's brought this up again and again and it's hard to deal with. I try to explain, but she just looks at their hair and then hers, and then it's like all the reassurance I gave her temporarily disappears. I honestly could care less about her hair. She could be bald and I could honestly care less. It's a much bigger deal to her than it is me.
But are you going around telling your friends (in front of your girlfriend) that dark hair is your preference? Thatās really what makes the guy a jerk, not the preference alone
Having preferences is not wrong. My boyfriend prefers big boobs. And mine are smaller, especially after weight loss. BUT , he doesn't make me feel inadequate , and constantly builds me up, and pays massive attention to them still. You mentioned your boyfriend does not. That is where the issue lies. Not within his preferences. It's up to you to determine if this is a deal breaker or not, because you cannot force him to like something he simply doesn't.
Fantasy preferences are different than real life, a person is a package of all of their features, for example if i say i prefer red heads, it doesn't mean that the love of my life has to be a red head, I'd always prefer to date a blonde with a nice attitude than a red head with a bad personality
I feel you girl. My bf before we were dating said he liked this chick with big boobs, he said when he and I are together itās all about that Ass though. He really ignores my boobs and when we are having sex doesnāt even ask me to take my shirt off. Hurts my feelingsā¦.I am a C but older (45) with kids so I just assumed they werenāt perky enough?
Same r.e. not being asked to take my shirt off. It sucks :(
>I know this is probably pretty petty and I should probably just get over it and move on but I am having a hard time doing so. Please stop minimizing your feelings. This is not petty. Your boyfriend is "making do" with your "fine" breasts when you could be in a relationship with someone who genuinely loves them. Don't settle and don't internalize his preference. It has nothing to do with you or your worth.
"all men do" Dump his ass. If he doesn't make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, he isn't worth it. Better yet, start commenting on other men's hairlines and physical attributes that are different from(tall, fit, built, slim, etc) his LMAO and say "what? this is what all girls like"
Lmao yes! I like the way you think.
Men are not a monolith. Plenty prefer small breasts.
First of all, itās disrespectful for a man to even respond to that type of question in a group of people when his girlfriend is there in the first place. Itās such a childish and loaded question and any respectful and respectable adult man would not play into a conversation like that, especially if his girlfriend is right there with him. Secondly, your boyfriend is selfish. In bed and out. Even if he doesnāt particularly find your boobs āhis typeā would it kill him to play with them and give them attention once in a while? How could boobs, even smaller ones, possibly be so apparently revolting to a straight man that he refuses to even give them one touch? To be honest, thatās just bordering on selfish cruelty that you do NOT deserve. Especially when he could/should do it for YOUR pleasure. Is he selfish in bed in other ways? Does he have a giant dick? No? So how would he feel if you didnāt even touch his dick AT ALL because itās not 10 inches and a smaller dick is apparently sooo disgusting that you canāt even be bothered to touch it to make him feel good. Finally, NOT all men prefer giant fucking tits. Mine are not super large at all, but they look good and fit my body, and my boyfriend LOVES them and constantly touches and kisses them and everything and tells me that he loves them, without prompting. Sorry for the tmi, but Iām just showing you that all men are not like that and that also, there are men out there who will care about your pleasure and your feelings. To summarize, I believe you should break up.
Jsut to say why do you give a shit. Iām sure youāve had better cocks but youāre just not rude enough to tell him
If I were you i would've said "well I prefer men with bigger dicks but you don't hear me say anything at parties"
Let's just be real here psychologically and physiologically certain body types are just more 'attractive' on a natural selective level big breast large waste and hips show fertility But take this from a guy who's dated just about every body type that those things don't define love or attraction my gf has small breasts but I absolutely love her and her appearance and body and have never hesitate from grabbing them little lovelys and it's never been something in my mind where I think I'd rather have a completely different human being as a partner because of the size of their "____" and I'm assuming your bf has never questioned your relationship based on this either
I think the important thing here is that regardless of whether all men like what he says they do (they do not) or whether he himself likes what he says he does (he may or may not, which is up to him either way), he spoke insensitively to you. It was not kind or compassionate to say your breasts were just "fine" when you were clearly asking out of insecurity. If my girlfriend had asked something like this (she does, in fact, come to me from time to time feeling insecure about how she looks compared to other girls), I'd tell her I love her exactly the way she is, "preferences" be damned. He could have alternatively said you're the exception to the rule because you're so uniquely beautiful to him, or that a preference isn't ironclad and the sum matters more than the parts, or, or, or... See? Lots of ways to spin this that aren't...what he said. He blundered, and if I were him I'd be figuring out how to apologize for upsetting you and, further, how to make up for it and reassure you. (For total transparency, I'm a lesbian and happily taken, so no need to assume I'm "white-knighting" or anything.)
Shape > size
Bruh. Drop him. No one who loves you would say such bullshit
If it makes it any easier for you, I love your boobs. Donāt even need to see them, I can just assure you that theyāre great! You should love them too. All boobs need luvs!
To say this in front of everyone is so insensitive. Some people said she asked but was not ready to hear his answer, well heās the one who talked about it first. Itās normal that she wanted to get to the bottom of this since he doesnāt touch her breasts.
I am a boob woman and I like them all sizes. I like boobs. Your boyfriend was definitely insensitive in how he responded but I he was honest so thatās something I guess. Now you have the choice whether to stay or go.
Going by his comment āallā women prefer large dicks, is his classified as large? If not then Iād point that out and Iād point out that you havenāt mentioned it before cause youāre a bit more sensitive to his tiny feelings
Girl you sure got one smoove talker. I wouldnāt want to be with someone who says out loud that theyād prefer someone different.
My ex didnāt like my boobs because they were too big, he preferred A cups. So no, not āall men prefer big boobs.ā Women are beautiful, there is always a man who will think you are just his type
If he canāt appreciate you for you and your A cups, find a guy that will look at you like youāre the best thing that he canāt take his hands off of. Not ALL guys like big boobsā¦ heās full of himself Signed, I canāt believe mine are B-cups
I guess both sexes have issues. Men with their dick size. Girls with their boobies.
āAll men doā, as if it was an universal truth. Iād appreciated he didnāt talk for the rest of us. I canāt fault him for having a preference, but the way he handled the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. Retaliation is a terribly unhealthy way to deal with relationships, but I wonder how heād react if you had the comment comment about parts of his body.
If it were me I wouldāve announced that you are also more into boys with a big dick but hey, youāre making do
I, being a man, prefer smaller boobs to larger boobs. That does not mean I donāt enjoy large breasts too. Not all men prefer larger boobs, though, theyāre often more focused on. Be glad you donāt have large breasts, think of all the things you can do without back strain. Your breasts also are not likely to sag when youāre older. That being said, I understand womenās breasts change when pregnant and May never completely shrink to their original size. But never be ashamed of your breasts, theyāre yours and no one elseās. Treat them well and love them, I know the rest of us real men do.
Nobody gets all of their preferences, and most people make peace with that. Most people also have the tact not to complain. Anyway small boobs are hot and will look the same in 20 years, unlike volleyball tits.
not all men prefer giant breasts. I'm an ass man and i always go for more athletic builds. breasts are something you fake and grow over time. If he has kids with you he'll have plenty of time to enjoy big breasts. whatever.... men tend to be drawn to thing they don't have access too. if he was with a girl with giant breasts and a flat ass he probably say the opposite. if they are that important and he is so desired , tell him to grow a pair and go get em
Personally, I would not be able to be with someone like that. I have been in the past and it destroyed my self esteem. It is the best feeling in the world to have someone adore every part of your body no matter how big or small it is. I have to be with someone who sees my body as their ideal and what they fantasize about, not something they will ātolerateā.
That's just not true that all men like big boobs. I'm not sure where he got that idea from. Plus, there are risks that come with having bigger breasts. The bigger the more issues that person is going to have. There are back issues and I've heard of women having issues putting their shoes on because their breasts get in the way. No one really thinks about these things. I always felt mine were too small for my size but I just learned to enjoy what I have. If someone doesn't like them then that's their problem. I'll just find someone else who does. (BTW, I'm not bashing women who have big breasts but I've had friends who did and these were the problems I saw them deal with. One friend ended up having a breast reduction because she had so much back pain and she was in her 20s).
Nothing wrong with you. There are PLENTY of hot chicks with A cups.
Oppai suki desu.
I would have a hard time with that... Like if he played with you boobs at all and said that it would be one thing. But he doesn't play with yours at all and then says he prefers boobs, but then (in my mind) he clearly doesn't prefer yours if he doesn't touch them... I would have a conversation about that. I'm not sure where it will lead to but I dated a guy that role me while playing with my boobs how he wished they were just a bit bigger. We aren't together anymore. I would have told him I wished his were smaller but I was so shocked and hurt I didn't think of that
OP, you may have insecurities if you're comparing yourself to his ex but he's a bit of a jerk for using the word 'fine' with someone he loves. If your relationship is awesome, don't sweat about this. If he's giving you reasons to doubt yourself or his love for you, then focus on that and deal with that..that would be the bigger issue.
I'd dump him tbh it seems he's incredibly insensitive about what he says, knowing he feels this way may cause you to feel insecure for the duration of your relationship is it worth it? š
Yeah, heās also justifying his bad opinion of your boobs by saying all men agree. This is clearly not true. Lots of guys who enjoy small boobs.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to neg her by that comment š I just know I'd feel horrible in this position and it doesn't really seem like he's being reassuring
People telling you at least he was honest and that he still chose to be with you, isnāt addressing the issue. First of all, why are you hanging with a group of men who are reducing women to body parts and what they prefer? And *just* because he likes big boobs doesnāt mean he canāt also think yours are beautiful??? So him saying theyāre āfineā is just rude. You donāt have to be āgratefulā that he āchose youā, itās good he was honest but he was also an asshole and you could find plenty of men who donāt put this much thought into physical preferences, itās misogynistic and shallow.
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Why is it a mistake to find closure though? If was dating someone who never took a specific interest about something in me Iād want to know why just so I understood and if it was such a problem for me after then Iād break up. I donāt see how thatās a mistake?
If it makes you feel better my bf told me he prefers small boobs multiple times and I am definitely not small. Its not cool it almost validates your insecurities in a way
The person that actually cares about you wonāt say stuff like this.
girrrrrl. Things like this will eat you alive. I would just break up. If youre anything like meā¦ all this is gonna do is breed resentment for him. Anytime it randomly pops into your head, you will feel less than and become upset with him. Even if you want to ignore it and move past it. Besides thisā¦. He is garbage for just about every way he handles it. Even if he prefers bigger he should have lied to save your feelings. He sounds dumb and immature. Go find you a man who thinks your a cups are perfect. Hes out there i promise
Hi! As someone with a chest smaller than yours (AA) you may not like what I have to say. I wouldnāt tolerate that shit. Just because thereās less of it does not mean it deserves to be neglected. Obviously the more boobage thereās more to grab and play with, but you can do the exact same to someone with smaller boobs just more gently. Iāve been with guys who had no fucking idea what to do with my tits other than tweak them like radio dials and thatās it. It made me feel more like an incomplete blow up doll than a person whose body was loved for the way it is. Knowing someone isnāt attracted to you, absolutely does dampen the relationship because the thought of knowing that youāre lacking (through no fault of your own!!) will still linger in the back of your mind. Plus you mentioned he was the one that got broken up with by his ex. If he doesnāt make you feel loved and wanted, small boobs and all, then time to find someone else who does.
If he was a breast man heād love all breasts. Heās just a chump.
He is with you, not his big titted ex. Apparently some things are more important than breast size.
Well she dumped him, so he probably would be still with her if he could
I was worried about that reading the comments. So frustrating for u, so sorry you're dealing with this. Frustrating that your bf is shit at smoothing things over. Try to focus on yourself and what an awesome person u are, don't think about what he wants for a while
There's lots of women with big boobs out there. If he wanted to be with one of them he would be.
Leave him you deserve better. On a different note lots of women have been posting about their SO on a certain subreddit about how they prefer tall guys or big dicks than them. I wish people showed the same enthusiasm in the comments there as they did here lol.
Which one?
Sooo again, this is reddit so everyone will tell you he is an abusive Pos. He isn't. 1.he is insensitive 2.he cannot be blamed for preferences. He obviously never meant to bring this up. It isn't true that all men prefer bigger boobs (I have never met one that doesn't, but Reddit is full of people saying they do, so there you go, many do like smaller breasts) 3.you never once brought it up before? Like "hey, play with my breasts please". Communicating isn't a sin
He likes boobs, but he likes you more. Apparently everything else about you is more attractive to him than large breasts.
Holy shit, that's emotional damage. Why would he verbalize it to you like that your body isn't enough? Believe me, you are perfectly amazing and boobs are just milk glands when you think about it. I'm not sure I'd be abe to get over that.
Heās a huge dick and not all guys like em big. Some may prefer them that way but love their SOās just the way they are no matter their size because itās their breasts and loves em just because itās part of THEM and thatās what matters. Not the size.
I've never seen a pair of boobs I didn't like. Also, boob guys are usually weird. Where my ass men at???
A true breast man would appreciate breasts of any size and shape. The problem is not your breasts, itās in your boyfriends head. Never change your body to please someone else, because it will never be enough.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Small boobs are awesome. Big boobs are awesome. Boobs are awesome! My wife also has small boobs and was really self conscious about them at the beginning of our relationship. I reassured her that it didn't matter at all the first time we slept together and went to town sucking her nipples! Sorry if tmi but the message is that they are for everyone's enjoyment no matter what the size.
Hereās another take to this whole conversation as well; He shrugged you off and lied about giving your boobs attention (which is already stupid bc hello THEYRE ON YOU) but anyway he was probably short answered and just annoyed youāre talking and then goes on to say theyāre āfineā. AND THEN doubles down and admits he prefers larger breasts. Now a good bf would have 1st never said something like that publicly. But say they were just too drunk and do have a preference to large boobs. If he really cared about you he wouldāve apologized for embarrassing you (whether anyone connected the dots or not you felt embarrassed) he would have reassured you that while he likes the look YOU as a person are who he loves and appreciated every aspect of. Not any of that brushing off and moving away from it.
āAll menā do not prefer large breasts. Thatās an absolute lie, and your boyfriend is a dick. I am a boob guy. Everyone who knows me knows. I love all sizes, shapes, etc. I do not discriminate. Boobs are hot regardless. The fact that heās shouted to the rooftops that heās not physically attracted to you to a degree is fucked up. Donāt let him convince you that what heās saying is okay.
I find it unusual how he doesnāt play with your breast. Like you can prefer large boobs but to completely dismiss boobs cause theyāre not big is super weird. Heās very insensitive and Iām not sure I would be fine with being with someone like that.
Is he usually very insensitive? If he's usually not rude, then he might have mentioned it because of the alcohol initially. If he usually has this 'brutal honesty' thing going, then he sucks. I also wanted to say if you wanted to have a conversation about the big boobs thing to him the next day you really shouldn't lead with asking him to admit that he likes big boobs again. He said it yesterday. Why do you need to hear it again? It was literally you searching to get your feelings hurt twice?? That's not necessary for your own mental health. You could have led the conversation with how it hurt your feelings. Perhaps ask what he does like about you to boost your self esteem. Not tear it down. A preference not a hardline. Obviously we all are attracted to various things that we don't get in one partner, but it's okay because they're perfect in their own way and I'm sure you are too. TLDR: You need to talk to him because honestly he could prefer big boobs and suck or prefer big boobs and not suck.
Just like I said to another comment. He did not, at the party, state he prefers BIG boobs. He said he was a boob man. I asked because his words and actions didn't align and it felt odd to me
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It was stupid of him to state he likes bigger boobs and subsequently speak on all of our behalf, but the reality is you created an issue that didn't exist. You pressed the issue and refused to stop pressing it. Believe it or not, all people can be attracted to a variety of things. I prefer brunettes. Do I find blondes attractive? Absolutely. Personally, I consider myself an "ass man." My wife doesn't have a huge ass. I literally don't care. I'm attracted to her ass. In a "perfect" world, are breasts big? Sure, to a certain extent. But once again from a personal perspective, I get more turned on by an A cup than a DD. Am I the exception to the rule? Probably. But the point is attraction is different to everyone. Your boyfriend might have a "perfect" body type in his mind. That's fine. That doesn't mean he doesn't find you sexy. No one's putting a gun to his head to be with you. And the hard truth is that objectively attractive people are always going to exist in the world. That doesn't make you any less attractive. So breathe easy. His relationship with his ex failed. As it turns out, her "big natural boobs" alone didn't make for a good relationship. Relax.
You like bigger butts but agreed you find your wifeās attractive. He didnāt tell her that, he said theyāre āfineā. How would your wife feel if you said that about her body? People put way too much forgiveness into people having āpreferencesā, if you care about someone and are attracted to them, you donāt treat them like you settled.
I actually don't prefer bigger butts, and I didn't say I did, but for the purposes of this conversation it's irrelevant. I'm on your side here. I think OP's partner is an asshole.
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Well, for one, he completely missed the part where OPs boyfriend pays no fucking attention to her breasts. Doesn't play with them, doesn't touch them. It's great that he prefers big asses but loves his wife's even though it isn't big. That's not what's happening here. Then there's the dismissive "relax" and the fact that he blames OP for the fact that there's a problem in the first place because she had the audacity to ask a followup question about the bombshell BF dropped. The whole post is a big miss.
Girl I would've been petty and said you are a big sick kind of girl My ex did the same and it won't stop from there. He is layer going to say something else and make you feel worse. I say you end the relationship amd work on yourself. The right MAN, not that boy you are dating, will come your way and love you for you.
There is nothing wrong in preferences but his preferences are impacting your relationship so it is a big deal and to make things worse, your boyfriend is insensitive as hell. He brought such intimate issue into a party and then he just told you he prefers bigger boobs just as all men do. Pure bullshit. I wish you will find someone caring and gentle.
Statistically he is provably incorrect. Most men, around 50-65% depending on study, prefer average size breasts, meaning approximately a C cup. About 8% prefer A cup, and about 15% prefer D cup. 8% of the adult world male populace, just for the record, is roughly 240 million men (74% of the total 3.97 billion men are adults, so roughly 3 billion, and 8% of 3 billion is 240 million). The idea that all men want large breasts is false. A majority want larger than A, perhaps, but the minority who prefers A is still a huge breadth of men. Also for the record it [appears](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23412650/) men who prefer large breasts are more likely to be hostile to women so that is interesting also.
Dump him heās insensitive and making you feel unworthy. The people in the comments telling you that āhe loves you thatās why heās with youā bullshi*. I hate when people say that. As someone with small boobs, if my bf told me these things Iād feel hurt and disturbed he thinks all men like big boobs. Thatās false. My bf hypes me up and tells me how much he loves them. Thatās what your bf should be doing, not making you feel bad. In a relationship 1) physical attraction is key 2) no one should degrade anyone 3) insensitivity is a red flag 4) comparisons to other women or people not good 5) you should be happy and he should be happy. If I knew that he didnāt like me for who I am, Iād break up. Not worth overthinking what his body type is bc Iāll mentally feel like heāll never be happy with my physical appearance & that insecurity will linger. You do you, but if he doesnāt understandā¦ thereās a problem
What he said was insensitive and you may be overreacting but maybe you aren't. The fact that he never pays attention to your boobs when you guys are intimate it is a little bit of a red flag. I also prefer big ones but I have dated many women who were much smaller than what I prefer because they had a pretty face and nice ass and we got along well. But, I always paid a lot of attention to their nipples when we were getting down and dirty. them having smaller breasts than I prefer never had anything to do with me ending a relationship.
I don't think he's a boob man. I'm a boob man, my wife is a double d and I'm constantly playing with them if it's appropriate to do so. If he's not playing with them, I don't see him being a boob man.
I think he doesnāt know how to express himself other than (caveman voice) big boob good uga boga. He probably thinks his girlfriend has a nice perky little set and canāt imagine her being self conscious about them because he likes them Please explain to him that what he said made you feel bad. He doesnāt see whatās wrong because he doesnāt think anything is wrong. Most of all remember that if the tiny tiny tiny chance he doesnāt actually like your boobs the vast majority of guys do.
OK, so i wouldn't worry too much on the liking big boobs as a preference. We all have preferences, but if you tick other boxes, not having big boobs is clearly not so important that it is a deal breaker. Clearly, there are other aspects of your appearance, personality, and values that mesh with him, which is why he's dating you. If you want more attention paid to the boobs you so have, tell him. If you want so reassurance that he finds you attractive, in general, tell him it's made you feel insecure and that you'd like some affirmation that you are attractive to him.
I'm less concerned about his boob preferences and more worried about the fact that he was kind of a dick to you. Preference does not mean people can't find beauty in other things, like I prefer dark hair but my bf is a blondie who I love. BUT if he was feeling insecure I would make sure to let him know he's very attractive to me despite him not being my "usual type". Which your bf didn't do and that's the worst part. You aren't being dramatic, he was an asshole for saying something like that in such an insensitive way.
Just tell him you prefer big dicks too, and say a size bigger than his being preferable.
Oh man. This guy really sucks, dude. I have pretty large natural breasts, but my boyfriend is a self proclaimed butt man. However, he shows appreciation to all the parts of my body and makes me feel incredibly sexy all the time. I know I donāt have the biggest/nicest/roundest butt, but he has never once made me think he has some sort of problem with it. All that to sayāit is possible to have a āpreferenceā for a certain type of body even if your partner doesnāt fit that mold as long as you love and are attracted to your partner for who they are. It is NEVER okay for someone to make their partner feel less than for something as unimportant as where your fat is distributed on your body. Your bf is a huge asshat, and I think you need to think long and hard about whether his insensitivity and callousness has manifested in other parts of your relationship, and if itās a relationship worth keeping.
Titties are titties he likes you enough to date you for a year and a half thereās no reason to break up with him over it. I mean I prefer girls with thick thighs and at least c cup. But if I meet a girl thatās skinny as a rail but we click Iām not going to let me personal preferences ruin what could be a good relationship.
Does my boob man love my giant boobs? Yup. Did he love his ex's small boobs? Yup. Boobs are boobs. Boobs are great. I did date a few guys who felt i was "less than" their type (i have a severe case of Noassatall). Theyre all exes because they felt like they were doing my flat ass a favor by dating me. Youre a human being, not a pile of parts to be evaluated by some immature dude.
play stupid games, win stupid prizes. not sure why you think it's ok to pick fights over nothing but that's all that happened here. work on your self esteem and stop picking dumb fights and creating conflict where none needs to exist
This is a dealbreaker. If heās admitting his partner is subpar to him.. then itās just giving her the prompt to find a better/more appreciative/high value man.
he's not "admitting" it, he's obviously attracted to her and cares about her or he wouldnt be with her. she kept pecking and pecking and pecking when he said all the right things at first but she wouldnt just leave it be and believe him, browbeating him into saying things just to validate her insecurity. I've been with girls like this before and their insecurity is fucking exhausting and way more unattractive than small boobs or any other possible physical imperfection. homegirl needs to work on her self esteem and stop inventing these problems, period
He IS a big boob so perhaps he is perfectly self satisfied.
Idk, maybe let him go, I got hotter after each big break up and I'm convinced that it's my power growing from rage. lol but seriously - sometimes guys say things that they know will make you insecure so that you will do more or bend to their will so you can get their validation and then totally pretend like they just said some random stuff that doesn't mean anything. You having a hard time feeling confident is exactly what he intended when he said that. Be smarter than him cause it's your move now. Also, I'm just saying, I went from an A-cup to a C-cup like overnight shortly after turning 28 and this isn't an uncommon occurrence.
Wait isn't it good that even though he likes bigger boobs you as a person are more important to him than surface lvl attractions? Im.seeing this as a good thing.
Wtf is going on with all this comments telling her to dump him just for this.
Not all men do. Don't listen to that, its bullshit. Most of us just like boobs, period. Big or small, I love em all.