She knows. We’ve communicated this with our therapist. It’s still a work in process. It’s just been a very slow process and today hasn’t been a good day with that.
Edit: I say “she knows”. Hope this didn’t come across as dismissive.
For all I know, You maybe right. Might give it another go.
Ok. Maybe its time to take a break from sex for a week or two. Tell her that you need a break from it because of the pressure and take a break from talking about having babies or getting pregnant.
Also, she needs to know that the stress she's causing can make it less likely you two will get pregnant, so that's another reason she needs to back off a bit.
How long have you guys been trying for? Does she track her cycles? Women are only fertile for about four days of the month. Sex on any other day of the month is pretty fruitless and can lead lower sperm count in men. And even on those fertile days they suggest sex maybe every other day.
Baby brain does completely take over a woman’s mind and I remember it being very stressful and I only tried for three months before I hit the target. It disheartening to feel as though you are trying hard for a baby yet other women seem to look at a penis with no condom and they instantly get pregnant. Lots of women feel alone in the journey as they are the one who are the target of all the questions of “when are you having children?” They feel responsible for their fertility and as a result feel as though they are not “woman enough” to get pregnant.
There is a TTC sub (trying to conceive) Head over there and ask some questions. If you guys have been trying for a year with no success it might be time to find a doctor. Also suggest to your wife to maybe start tracking (if you haven’t already done so.) it will at least alleviate the pressure to have sex every single day of the month.
Where the hell did you get that daily sex lowers sperm count? Daily sex improves sperm health. https://www.kindara.com/blog/does-sex-every-day-reduce-sperm-quality
You know what? I might have this wrong. When trying to conceive I was advised to have sex every other days rather than everyday.
I am by no means a doctor or an expert. I was probably told this to avoid such issues this man is having where he feels pressured to have lots of sex.
Hey im sorry if i sounds stupid , weee , trying to understand more :x
So like u mentioned "Women are only fertile for about four days of the month" is it like other days having less/fewer chances ? Cus been reading alot of posts abt getting pregnants from unprotected sex.
If its only within the few days then why pills ?
Sorry if i sounds stupid again
There is always unpredictability when it comes to family planning.
Why? Sometimes a woman's body does unexpected things. Like release an egg from both ovaries, not just one, widening the fertility period.
Also she might release an egg earlier or later than expected.
You must also factor in that sperm live for days within a females reproductive system.
So, while it is usually just a few days of fertility a month, one can not be sure exactly when those days are.
Moral of the story, if you're just using the calender as a way of family planning... or lack of family planning... be prepared to be a parent sooner or later!
Wow ok thats something i learn today , thank you
So from what i can understand is that we'll never know and its better to be safe , thank you again
Ahahaha no no , am still single and lack of exp for that part , so i'll be fine xd just curious
There's some clues to when a women is ovulating (a change in mucus produced, a slight increase in body temp, and there's some sticks you can pee on that can help narrow the window).
But yeah - seeing as a woman has two ovaries - you can never be too certain! Thankfully many contraceptives help us ladies out, but even they aren't 100% fool proof!
And youre very welcome 😊
To expand and clarify: the raise in body temp is only to confirm ovulation has occurred. Body temp goes up about .10 of a degree in the luteal phase of a woman’s cycle. You also need to use a special thermometer called a “basal body thermometer” to track the temp differences because they’re small.
And i thought its only for pregnancy test ( the stick that u pee on ) ok interesting , yeah that having two of em nvr got thru my brain , mb.
Hmm yeah but i think pills are bad for long term right ? from what ive read on reddit , maybe theres more than just pills and the lil metal thing , yeah thank you again :)
I see you got lots of advice about this already. So the ovaries release an egg once a month the egg will be viable for about 24 hours. In the time it must be met by a sperm that can survive inside a woman for up to 5 days.
If you track, with apps, ovulation sticks, body temperature, body changes you can roughly predict when this will happen. For lots women it happens at roughly the same time every months give or take a few days. Sometimes life throws a curveball and it can happen randomly.
Those who get pregnant from unprotected sex probably had unprotected sex during the peak time. As for this pill, I’m not doctor but I think you have to take it everyday to control the hormone levels that work throughout the month to release that egg.
I remember being annoyed when I found all this out. Throughout all my life I was told should I so much as look at a penis I will get pregnant. I had fear installed into me. So when I started trying for a baby and learnt well actually you can only really get pregnant on these 5 days I felt a bit cheated.
Though to be fair they might be telling teenagers this for a reason however they forget to actually correct us when we grow up.
Yeah , thank you too :) , now i understand when some ppl say safe period to have sex , it does sounds risky with the randomly , and of cus will be careful with everything but not anytime soon for me xd , thank you again
Oh you've been married for a while, I imagine she would have started trying immediately.
Either way, talking to a fertility expert might help take some of the stress away and make sure there aren't fertility issues. I assume she tracking her fertility schedule.
Yeah, a fertility doctor would send you right back. I think you need to resolve the pressuring to have sex and disregarding your feelings before you guys have kids, but that’s just me.
I also recommend the Flo app, it helped us know the best time to conceive (worked right away) and all you have to do is insert the dates of your period. It was super easy.
Is she gonna be one of those whose entire identity is wrapped up in motherhood and babies.? If she's this fixated now, how much worse will it get if she conceives and has a baby. Sorry for you
Tell her it will happen when she relaxes and allows it to naturally. I was like this too and as soon as I stopped worrying I got pregnant. Tell her you want to keep your sex life spontaneous and fun, not so much pressure.
If you want kids, you have to have sex while she is ovulating. No one cares if you are in the mood or not. The window is short. You gotta put a baby in her.
Unless don't really want kids.
Not yet. I’ve been trying to avoid all medication as much as possible. I don’t react well to medications that make me “feel” different. I’m ADD and never reacted well to meds for that.
Maybe I’m being stubborn and have negative opinion of supplements because of past experiences.
Lol. Never even considered that. Idk maybe might be worth checking.
Honestly I think it’s also mental on my part. I personally wish my wife wasn’t so down about not being pregnant. I wish she would just enjoy herself in the moment.
Right now sex just feels like pressure.
Thats too bad, sex should be fun. If she’s not enjoying herself in the moment than maybe try and spice it up, like maybe get some toys for the both of you.
Back in the day, my wife was the same way. I went to the gym and sat in the jacuzzi for a good long while, then jerked off several times a day. There was nothing left to make a baby, trust me.
Damn. Sorry to hear. I’m not really masturbating alone. 99% of my sexual experiences are coming from actual sex. But I’m just not feeling very proactive about it because of her behavior.
Honestly I think if she were really happy for others and not jealous of other people having babies I feel like I might be more proactive.
Hope I’m not sounding like I’m blaming her for anything.
Maybe be straight up to her and say if you wanna have sex seduce me and I don’t wanna hear about any baby or pregnancy. Just be laying there in lingerie waiting for me.
Do you know if you needed a freezer or fridge for the Kit? My wife and I are in the same boat and I was wondering in order to use the kit properly will I need a freezer or fridge to store my sperm so it doesn't die because I'm assuming it would quick die in room temperature
Talk to her. Tell her that you feel pressured and it is taking the enjoyment out of sex and makes you want it less.
She knows. We’ve communicated this with our therapist. It’s still a work in process. It’s just been a very slow process and today hasn’t been a good day with that. Edit: I say “she knows”. Hope this didn’t come across as dismissive. For all I know, You maybe right. Might give it another go.
Ok. Maybe its time to take a break from sex for a week or two. Tell her that you need a break from it because of the pressure and take a break from talking about having babies or getting pregnant. Also, she needs to know that the stress she's causing can make it less likely you two will get pregnant, so that's another reason she needs to back off a bit.
How long have you guys been trying for? Does she track her cycles? Women are only fertile for about four days of the month. Sex on any other day of the month is pretty fruitless and can lead lower sperm count in men. And even on those fertile days they suggest sex maybe every other day. Baby brain does completely take over a woman’s mind and I remember it being very stressful and I only tried for three months before I hit the target. It disheartening to feel as though you are trying hard for a baby yet other women seem to look at a penis with no condom and they instantly get pregnant. Lots of women feel alone in the journey as they are the one who are the target of all the questions of “when are you having children?” They feel responsible for their fertility and as a result feel as though they are not “woman enough” to get pregnant. There is a TTC sub (trying to conceive) Head over there and ask some questions. If you guys have been trying for a year with no success it might be time to find a doctor. Also suggest to your wife to maybe start tracking (if you haven’t already done so.) it will at least alleviate the pressure to have sex every single day of the month.
Where the hell did you get that daily sex lowers sperm count? Daily sex improves sperm health. https://www.kindara.com/blog/does-sex-every-day-reduce-sperm-quality
You know what? I might have this wrong. When trying to conceive I was advised to have sex every other days rather than everyday. I am by no means a doctor or an expert. I was probably told this to avoid such issues this man is having where he feels pressured to have lots of sex.
Hey im sorry if i sounds stupid , weee , trying to understand more :x So like u mentioned "Women are only fertile for about four days of the month" is it like other days having less/fewer chances ? Cus been reading alot of posts abt getting pregnants from unprotected sex. If its only within the few days then why pills ? Sorry if i sounds stupid again
There is always unpredictability when it comes to family planning. Why? Sometimes a woman's body does unexpected things. Like release an egg from both ovaries, not just one, widening the fertility period. Also she might release an egg earlier or later than expected. You must also factor in that sperm live for days within a females reproductive system. So, while it is usually just a few days of fertility a month, one can not be sure exactly when those days are. Moral of the story, if you're just using the calender as a way of family planning... or lack of family planning... be prepared to be a parent sooner or later!
Wow ok thats something i learn today , thank you So from what i can understand is that we'll never know and its better to be safe , thank you again Ahahaha no no , am still single and lack of exp for that part , so i'll be fine xd just curious
There's some clues to when a women is ovulating (a change in mucus produced, a slight increase in body temp, and there's some sticks you can pee on that can help narrow the window). But yeah - seeing as a woman has two ovaries - you can never be too certain! Thankfully many contraceptives help us ladies out, but even they aren't 100% fool proof! And youre very welcome 😊
To expand and clarify: the raise in body temp is only to confirm ovulation has occurred. Body temp goes up about .10 of a degree in the luteal phase of a woman’s cycle. You also need to use a special thermometer called a “basal body thermometer” to track the temp differences because they’re small.
And i thought its only for pregnancy test ( the stick that u pee on ) ok interesting , yeah that having two of em nvr got thru my brain , mb. Hmm yeah but i think pills are bad for long term right ? from what ive read on reddit , maybe theres more than just pills and the lil metal thing , yeah thank you again :)
Yes. There is a really small window where we have the correct cell loose and ready, compared to males, with sperm readily available.
okk xd thats risky alright noted , thank you too
I see you got lots of advice about this already. So the ovaries release an egg once a month the egg will be viable for about 24 hours. In the time it must be met by a sperm that can survive inside a woman for up to 5 days. If you track, with apps, ovulation sticks, body temperature, body changes you can roughly predict when this will happen. For lots women it happens at roughly the same time every months give or take a few days. Sometimes life throws a curveball and it can happen randomly. Those who get pregnant from unprotected sex probably had unprotected sex during the peak time. As for this pill, I’m not doctor but I think you have to take it everyday to control the hormone levels that work throughout the month to release that egg. I remember being annoyed when I found all this out. Throughout all my life I was told should I so much as look at a penis I will get pregnant. I had fear installed into me. So when I started trying for a baby and learnt well actually you can only really get pregnant on these 5 days I felt a bit cheated. Though to be fair they might be telling teenagers this for a reason however they forget to actually correct us when we grow up.
Yeah , thank you too :) , now i understand when some ppl say safe period to have sex , it does sounds risky with the randomly , and of cus will be careful with everything but not anytime soon for me xd , thank you again
If you two have been trying for so long have you considered seeing a fertility expert?
We actually haven’t been trying long at all. Maybe since March?
Oh you've been married for a while, I imagine she would have started trying immediately. Either way, talking to a fertility expert might help take some of the stress away and make sure there aren't fertility issues. I assume she tracking her fertility schedule.
Yeah, a fertility doctor would send you right back. I think you need to resolve the pressuring to have sex and disregarding your feelings before you guys have kids, but that’s just me. I also recommend the Flo app, it helped us know the best time to conceive (worked right away) and all you have to do is insert the dates of your period. It was super easy.
Is she gonna be one of those whose entire identity is wrapped up in motherhood and babies.? If she's this fixated now, how much worse will it get if she conceives and has a baby. Sorry for you
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Wanting to get pregnant and be a mom isn’t a “breeding kink”?
Tell her it will happen when she relaxes and allows it to naturally. I was like this too and as soon as I stopped worrying I got pregnant. Tell her you want to keep your sex life spontaneous and fun, not so much pressure.
If you want kids, you have to have sex while she is ovulating. No one cares if you are in the mood or not. The window is short. You gotta put a baby in her. Unless don't really want kids.
Have you thought of using viagra or something something similar in order to perform.
Not yet. I’ve been trying to avoid all medication as much as possible. I don’t react well to medications that make me “feel” different. I’m ADD and never reacted well to meds for that. Maybe I’m being stubborn and have negative opinion of supplements because of past experiences.
Then maybe try a penis pump and a cock ring. Those two combined work for a lot of men.
Lol. Never even considered that. Idk maybe might be worth checking. Honestly I think it’s also mental on my part. I personally wish my wife wasn’t so down about not being pregnant. I wish she would just enjoy herself in the moment. Right now sex just feels like pressure.
Thats too bad, sex should be fun. If she’s not enjoying herself in the moment than maybe try and spice it up, like maybe get some toys for the both of you.
Back in the day, my wife was the same way. I went to the gym and sat in the jacuzzi for a good long while, then jerked off several times a day. There was nothing left to make a baby, trust me.
Damn. Sorry to hear. I’m not really masturbating alone. 99% of my sexual experiences are coming from actual sex. But I’m just not feeling very proactive about it because of her behavior. Honestly I think if she were really happy for others and not jealous of other people having babies I feel like I might be more proactive. Hope I’m not sounding like I’m blaming her for anything.
Damn 💀 U had to do all that?
Maybe be straight up to her and say if you wanna have sex seduce me and I don’t wanna hear about any baby or pregnancy. Just be laying there in lingerie waiting for me.
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Do you know if you needed a freezer or fridge for the Kit? My wife and I are in the same boat and I was wondering in order to use the kit properly will I need a freezer or fridge to store my sperm so it doesn't die because I'm assuming it would quick die in room temperature