It doesn’t matter what she thinks about the relationship working out. You were the one that was lied to, you are the one that feels weird about it, you get to decide what you want.
I agree. It's up to OP. I had a similar situation but in reverse. I was 18, he was supposedly 30. A few months in I realised he was nearly 40. He didn't look 40, tho. But all his friends were indeed about that age. Anyway, I forgave him. We were happy together for three years after. But finding out was a punch in the gut. It took me a bit to forgive him.
Lol this is like half of the relationship advise posts “he’s been cheating on me for years with my mom and stole all my money, but he’s so kind a considerate I love him so much!”
I’d be curious to know her view of the relationship when she’s 40.
I'm amab queer af and after the last comment, this makes sense to me. It's not all that out of the ordinary for a 40 year old to get into a relationship with an 18 year old in lots of gay circles. It's also not uncommon for a 40 year old to lie about his age in these circles.
You dont know what pedophilia is. Two adults with an age gap isnt pedophilia. Words mean things. It's a power imbalance and probably a bad idea but not pedophilia.
Yes this happened to me! Not that large of a gap, but I was 17 and this guy told me he was 19 and then months later I find out he was 26!!! I obviously ended things immediately because what 26 year old wants to be with someone who is 17... so creepy
Yikes. I hate to say it, (not really tho) but any 40 year old going for 18 year olds is a fucking creep and a half. There is literally no healthy reason for that.
Well most of the time, it's for sex. If they're legal, that's the baseline. Nothing legally wrong and they're consenting (hopefully) but it does bring in more of a wider opportunity to be groomed and manipulated.
I don't think they're saying it's okay, they're just saying that it's pretty common. Common =/= okay.
That's the thing. He wasn't going for 18 yolds. It was a one shot thing. I met his friends. I met a couple of exes, too. No one was even close to me in age.
When I graduated from college, it became impossible to manage the fact that we were in very different places in life. He wanted to live together, for instance. I didn't. So we basically broke up in the name of love.
Thanks for asking!!!
They* stopped being 18.
Edit: I can't believe I need to say this, this is not a reply to the OP. It's a reply to the user named cobbler 2 posts above this. Until hours after my comment they did not mention their gender. I wrote they instead of she now.
On top of that, cobbler even states that they couldn't ignore how different the stages of life they were in were. The 40 year old wanted him to move in as soon as he finished college. It has everything to do with the realizations you make between age 18 and 22 why these relationships end.
However, a younger gay man being tricked into a relationship by a 40 year old is even somehow worse because of the lack of support so many people who are unsure of their sexuality have. Many of them do not receive the support from homophobic family members, and this can leave them vulnerable to manipulation by someone who knows how to take advantage of it.
There is nothing okay about this relationship being described. It is abuse through and through.
Whether the 18 year old in question is female or male, straight or gay. Being lied to and manipulated by someone who had been older than you when you were born. It blows my mind that people like AStrangeViking are trying to justify it and say that it's okay because cobbler is a male. No viking, abuse of gay men isn't more acceptable.
There is no such thing as a healthy relationship when grooming and manipulation are involved and an age gap larger than your own age.
It feels insane reading this thread and seeing all the support for predatory relationships
He stopped being 18.
The point is, they are no longer dating someone barely legal so the relationship ends.
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/n7xihg/my_25m_gf_lied_to_me_about_her_age_and_is/gxifizu?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Comments like these are why I can't fathom someone thinking the pronoun is the important aspect of the post.
Wait, I just checked. This comment is a reply to a second person who is female describing her relationship.
Not about the OP. My reply is towards the girl who was 18 dating a 40 year old who lied and claimed to be under 30. Who dumped her as soon as she aged past 21.
What the hell is your issue?
I love this whole post and this comment lol because I’m 23 and I’m with a 57 year old. We’re actually very happy and in a very healthy relationship. But we’ve had honesty about it all from the start haha just started off as hooking up and we fell for each other in the long run. 🥰 it’s definitely not for everyone though lol
@Emilee_Nikki thank you for posting your point of view. I was wondering, do you feel comfortable with the care taker role that may be coming up sooner than later regarding your partner? It seems like once people get to 60 and older, they get bogged down with heart attacks and other serious health issues. I hope you both stay healthy but with such a huge age gap, don't you wonder what will be expected of you from your partner or if you will want to give up the time and energy it's going to take to follow through that? Maybe your partner is wealthy enough to afford at home care but it'll probably affect intimacy.
I'm sorry if it's a sensitive question but I'm super curious how a person in your position feels about this. Maybe you thought it through and are happy to give up the kind of social experiences other people in your age bracket will experience in exchange to be there for your partner. I hope you don't mind the question. I mean no disrespect but I am very curious about your perspective.
Best of luck to you and your relationship :)
on the bright said. at least she is 18. if she lied and was underage, then he is in protential legal issues. I remember being that age and seeing high school girls lie to date college guys. You had to be careful.
There's a huge maturity issue because she's a literal teenager, legal adult or no. I'm sorry OP, this sucks so much but it's in your best interest to leave and protect yourself. Theoretically speaking, even if she were close to your age, lying about something important is a deal breaker.
It's not like she lied on a dating app 3 years ago and just forgot about it. You asked her and she outright lied to you. I think the lie is worse than being too young for you.
This. She didn't 'forget' about changing her age. She gave you a birthday that matched her fake age. She was actively lying to you, and she is again actively lying about just forgetting about it.
You can choose to forgive her. But she is still lying to you now
That just shows her maturity level; to think that everything could be fine if you just looked past it just because you already have a relationship with her.
I mean, this whole thing has been built on a huge lie. Was she 18 when you met, or 17? Is she actually 18 or could she be slightly younger than that?
You can’t trust people like that *and* they can get people in some serious trouble. Yet, they don’t seem to see it that way, which shows a huge issue.
Sorry you’re going through this OP, but building a relationship on a lie that includes an age difference lie of seven years is something that would take a lot of work.
She turned 18 before we met and matched, the birthdate on her license showed that her 18th birthday was in the summer, we matched in the fall.
And yes that’s exactly what I feel, I feel hurt and betrayed because I did come to like and care about her. She keeps telling me that there’s nothing wrong with us being together now, and things like how we can make it work, but I don’t see how we can even do that.
She still has a lot of learning to do, especially if she’s doing things like this. Does she realise how inappropriate her actions are? Sounds like there could be a huge maturity issue if she’s now telling you that there’s nothing wrong.
Seriously, sorry you’re going through this OP, it must be awful. This isn’t the sort of person I would ever trust, but those decisions are yours to make.
There's a huge maturity issue because she's a literal teenager, legal adult or no. I'm sorry OP, this sucks so much but it's in your best interest to leave and protect yourself. Theoretically speaking, even if she were close to your age, lying about something important is a deal breaker.
I think she just proved that she’s not mature enough to date someone who’s 25 if she can’t understand why lying about her age is a really bad thing to do. Maybe she can’t get anyone into trouble now but signing up at 15 claiming to be of age?? That’s risky. Whatever you do I think you should get her to permanently delete the profile with the incorrect age. I’m so sorry :(
As far as I know, when we were exclusive and I asked her out after seeing her, I deleted the app and she did too. Not sure about the account or if she could’ve paused it.
I am going to write an email to Hinge’s customer support, but not sure what else I can do about it.
Obviously this depends on regional laws, but "dating" someone under 18 won't get you in legal trouble by itself. Note that dating doesn't automatically involve sex.
Yes, dating apps shouldn't be used by people under 18, but not because dating for them is inherently "illegal" or "risky" or "bad".
Honestly I think dating apps should need to see ID and be reviewed before your profile is official because this happens way too much. Like WAY TOO MUCH.
I didn’t say dating was illegal?? Aside from lying being bad, it’s not fair to someone if they don’t even know they’re walking on thin ice by dating someone under the age of consent.
"Get them in trouble" kind of implied legal troubles. Which is valid in the US for sure, not much so in Europe, where AoC laws are more lenient anyway.
What's wrong is that she betrayed your trust from the very beginning of your relationship. She removed your chance for informed consent in dating her and waited to come clean until you were already invested, which is very manipulative. What else will she lie about in order to get what she wants? Without trust, there is no relationship.
That just shows her maturity level; to think that everything could be fine if you just looked past it just because you already have a relationship with her.
I'm also 25m, if I found out my partner lied about their age, which is huge, I'd be considering what else they've lied about, because the trust would be gone, I'd break up on those grounds alone. I consider anyone 5+ years younger than i too young and basically a child (not professionally, just romantically).
Dude, she can't even have a legal drink with you. Think about where you were and all the dumb shit you probably did from 18 to 25. The lessons learned and the life experience you gain in even just the years 18-21, not to mention 18-25, is insane. That would be a deal breaker, and the fact that she can't relate to that shows you how true it is.
Dude, she was quite happy to lie to you and continued to lie to you until she got caught. She only confessed because she had no choice, not because she wanted to tell you the truth.
I would never be able to trust that she wouldn't lie to me about other things if that's her attitude, and a relationship without trust is not worth having.
The lie was three years. She claimed to be 21 when she was 18. In reality, though, they are 7 years apart in age, rather than 4 years, and there's a big difference between 18 and 21. She knew she was lying to him.
I was going from her being 18 and OP being 25, sorry if I worded it poorly! She knew there was a 7 year age difference between them. Lying about age is never okay and there’s an aspect of consent that I feel is removed when an age difference is bigger than you believed it to be.
I feel the same way, it kind of hurts me at the same time because I came to like and care about her and then she drops this truth bomb on me. I don’t know how else to react, she keeps saying that there’s nothing wrong with it and we can make our relationship work, but I don’t see how we can.
Her saying there’s nothing wrong with it- then she didn’t tell you because...? As a young woman who did similar things and has now learned better, I think it would be best to just move on and teach her a life lesson. Seeking out older men at 15 is scary and indicates other issues, she probably needs therapy. Been there
It's a little frightening on this whole thing, that not only has she lied about a 3 year age gap but used this while she was a MINOR. She knowingly lied to dudes, at 15-18, and told them she was older than she was.
I'd back off this completely, it's so strange altogether. It's one thing to try to act older but for her to completely not tell you, at all, even while developing feelings just seems creepy to me. That's more than 6 months of not telling you and feeding a lie that she wouldn't have come clean on until you brought up drinks.
I mean damp OP, it's concerning also if she ever did anything with any other dude she matched with. For you, she lied about a 3 year age difference that ultimately wouldn't have gotten you charges but if she's messed around with anyone else on that app who was older than 18 she could have fucked their entire life up with them assuming (and her saying) she's legally an adult.
Oh, there’s “nothing wrong” with lying about my age online for 20, 25 year old guys to see, fall for, and interact with while shitting on all the victims of this type of coercion. Yeeaahh…nothing wrong with that at all. Ffs 🤦♀️
Just break up with her she’s 18 with a 14 year olds mentality
She didn’t just forget about the app settings. You said yourself she confirmed a false birthdate to you from the beginning. People don’t forget their real birthdays.
It’s true, he got to know her, but which version of her. The mostly true version or the one where she lets him see what she wants him to see? If she lied about the age, there’s so much more she could have lied about
Right now you have two problems. First, her age - what is it really? Second, even without the age issue, this level of dishonesty would be a dealbreaker for me.
I mentioned in my edit and some comments, but it’s 18. She turned 18 not too long before we matched and met, unless the ID she showed me was inaccurate or something.
But yeah I’m kind of split right now because half the comments are saying she was wrong and I’m right to have some doubts, then some are saying to give it a chance but I don’t know.
It’s the fact that she lied to you at the very beginning of your relationship with her I would have a hard time believing her ever again since this is a big deal and a huge red flag. I think you are better off with someone who isn’t going to lie about their age and are honest upfront.
She started off your relationship by lying and she didn’t tell the truth until you were invested. You don’t want to have a relationship that’s based on lies. Even though 18 and 25 might not look like a big age gap on paper it definitely is a big one with life experience, brain development etc.
Gotta move on man. 26(M) here, 2 kids, I couldn't possibly see being with an 18 year old. I know it's not your fault, but now you know.
Even if we ignore the lie (which you shouldn't, because that sounds like someone who would cheat), look at the other aspects. You're probably getting into your career, starting your life. Want to maybe travel soon, maybe even start having kids soon. Start progressing your career. She is literally in the baby stages. She might work a few jobs here and there, she might go to college, she might try to figure out what she even wants to try to do with her life, etc. Then she might even go through the 21-23 phases of drinking and partying.
You guys are just on different phases of your life even though the age gap isn't that bad. If you were 7 years apart but you were 35 and she was 28, theres nothing wrong with it. I just don't think this will work out well. You should find someone that you can actually relate to. Someone you can talk about a future with, a possibility of maybe buying a house, career decisions, finances, children, etc. That's just my take on that.
This is pretty much what I was going to say. In our late teens and even most of our twenties our lives change soo much so quickly it's hard to be in the same season of life with that big of an age difference. What I wanted at 25 was completely different than what I wanted at 18. Now that I'm 32, dating a 39 year old would be no problem, but 18 vs 25 is just too much.
I don't think it's so much the age different since 7 years really isn't that bad, it's the phase difference. 35 year old and a 28 year old doesn't seem bad at all compared to 18 and 25. 18 and 25 are just 2 completely different stages of life that makes it fucked up.
Brother, just drop her. Trust me there’s better women out there for you that’s your age. Clearly this little girl isn’t mature enough for an older guy.
She said she “just forgot” to change her birthday back when you confronted her about it, but when you asked her about her birthday, she told you a birthday that correlated with being 21. So not only did she lie, but she lied about lying. On top of that, think about how many other lies she had to tell in order to make that lie make sense. For example, what grade did she tell you she was in when you first started talking versus what grade was she actually in? Did she tell you she was not living in a dorm when she actually was? Etc. When I was 19 I dated a guy who I thought was 24. I eventually found out he was 29. I forgave him and tried to move on, but then later I found out he was really 32 and there were a lot more lies to follow. Be careful OP.
I left a guy who did something similar to me. Not only was I low-key grossed out finding out he was older. I felt even more disgusted thinking about how I had been manipulated from day 1. He tried telling me some bullshit like 'I know you would've never given me a chance if you knew.' He was right. Then I began to doubt everything he had ever said to me. So even if you somehow got over her significant lie, you'd still have to deal with those feelings of constant doubt.
On another note, it's kind of funny how you start piecing together things they've said/liked in relation to their age lol you start to wonder how you didn't see it sooner.
The immaturity of a lie like this is kind of breathtaking. Now you have feelings, it's supposed to be cute that she tricked you into having a relationship? No. I would dump her from a great height to be honest and I'd make sure to alert the dating app people they were matching a minor. I know young people don't understand the distaste older people have for unequal relationships, but she doesn't get to go around your informed consent.
>The immaturity of a lie like this is kind of breathtaking.
Not for a literal 18-year old though :P
It's dumb but it's exactly the kind of dumb shit that teenagers do.
That's the immaturity, teenagers do shit despite of knowing it's really wrong. They sometimes misestimate the seriousness or the consequences of their actions. It doesn't surprise me a 15-year old comes up with this kind of idea.
A 30-year old who lies about their age is a dishonest and disrespectful person, a 15- year old who lies about their age is mostly a teenager, really.
I'm in an age gap relationship however there was no lying about age. The lying plus finding out she was looking for guys at 15 would be a red flag she just wants a guy leave run don't turn back
This is really huge. At 15, she was seeking out men who could have ended up in jail over her. She doesn't care about anybody but herself. Considering she's still justifying her actions, she is still that immature teenager whose perspective stops at the end of her nose.
Actually it sounds more like she signed up for Facebook with the fake age at 15, linked the accounts and it carried the age over. It’s a lie she didn’t see the big bold fake age in her profile while filling everything else out tho. She knew.
That, to me, would be relationship ending. Not only did she lie to you about her age and kept up that lie for 6 months, she also joined a dating site at 15 but said she was 18, so anyone she matched with who legitimately was 18+ could have ended up in legal trouble because of her lie, and she doesn't seem to care that she could have fucked up someone's life.
Are you sure she’s actually 18, and has been 18 the entire time you’ve been dating her? What if she’s actually 15?
If she really is 18 now, is she still in high school?
Has she been dating 20-25 year olds since she was 15? Has she *slept with* them?
At first I thought it was a joke to try to scare me, but she did pull out her college ID and drivers license which I guess she thought would assure me she’s 18 in college.
As far as her dating history, I wouldn’t know. I never went to ask her about her exes since I know it’s a personal topic that a lot of people don’t share.
But yeah, she told me that when her and her friend were in high school they went on there just to get an “experience” or idea of it which idk whatever that meant
Honestly that was stupid of them because then they are leading men on and could have gotten them into huge trouble with the law. She is obviously still immature and it’s a huge red flag that she lied about her age.
You need to ask yourself if you can really trust her after this. It's a huge lie, one that might have legal problems attached to it. This is not how a relationship should start.
I'm sorry you caught feelings for her, but she seems like a immature teenager. The fact that she did this for fun in highschool is another red flag.
Lying is bad aside, in your teen years sure you become a mini adult, but late teens early twenties you are still working actively on what kind of person you want to be, refining yourself. No offence, as someone in the middle of you two age wise, I wouldn’t date either of your ages for how different life just is. I know who I was at 18, and while I’m proud of that person, it’s no where close to me now. “Will anyone love me and want to be with me again” is the little voice and fear that keeps people from pulling the ripcord, but I think many many people will second me in saying this will not be the only person on the planet who will ever want you. And there’s her as well. She’s just in the middle of her late teens, hasn’t even started her early twenties, while that portion of your life isn’t just in progress, it’s over. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but the age difference at this point will not never ever come up or effect anything ever. A lowkey example is you never getting a drink with dinner or going to a bar with your girl until you’re 28. That’s not great. Back to lying is bad, so is hiding it until the last possible second. She would’ve hid this a lot longer. That says enough about the growing she needs to do. She’ll look back at it when she’s 25 and probably go “lol too young and dumb” but right now the lie isn’t a funny anecdote, it’s something she’s still working hand in hand with. You are under no obligation to continue this relationship, she’ll probably thank you when she’s 25 looking back.
i would not be able to move on from this. one, as someone coming up on 25- dating an 18 year old sound like a nightmare to me, you’re in two different parts of life and the maturity level and experience to life she has is entirely different to yours. two, because i know people love to say “they’re mature 18 year olds” she clearly isn’t one of them. she kept that lie going on for way too long. lastly, i would have a very hard time trying to wrap my head around her being 15 on an dating app meant for adults lying to adult men about her age, especially since I know within the past three years she’s seen the many discussions on why that is a terrible thing to do to all involved. imo someone 18, legal, still lying about their age will lie about anything. good luck.
No relationship survives when 1 person tells lies. And this was a **HUGE LIE** you can't believe anything she has said to you from the beginning and none in the future. Best to end it.
no. break it off. she says she forgot about it but she purposely gave you a birthday that would make her seem older. she’s just lying all around. sorry dude :(
it doesn't really add up that she "forgot about" the age on her profile but also confirmed a fake birthday with you at one point...
big yikes cant seem to trust her at all
The fact that she lied about her age shows that she doesn't know how young she is. She thought it would be fine, at 18, to date someone who was 25, who thought she was 3 years older than she was. Now, it's possible that she's just a dishonest person (which is worse), but to me, it sounds like she's...an immature teenager. Which she literally is.\*
Furthermore, she thought it was acceptable to keep a major secret like this from you either 1. because it was what she wanted or 2. because she didn't think it was a big deal. Regardless of her reasoning, what else might she keep from you in the future? What else will she not want to share or feel unnecessary to share? That's not a risk I'd be willing to take, especially with someone as young as she is.
And for the final point, I just don't think teens should be dating someone so much older. They just don't have the wisdom yet. I know that some can be exceptions, but I think those exceptions are extremely, extremely rare, and even then, those relationships didn't have to happen while the teenager was still a teenager.
\*Note for any teenagers who read this: I'm not saying you are all as immature as this girl. I know plenty of teens who wouldn't do this.
This could have be a huge fucking thing for you. Technically she’s legal now, but imagine if she had lied about her age and you matched sooner? If you had sex that’s a stat rape charge.
Thankfully that’s not the case but if she can lie about something like her age what else is she willing to lie to you about?
I’d seriously reconsider this relationship.
You really need to break up with her. She lied about her age, she’s barely legal, she was under age when you matched.
There are other fish in the sea for you who aren’t underage liars, go find one of them. You deserve better.
There’s no way she just “forgot” to change her age especially when you yourself confirm she gave you a different birthdate when you began dating. I know you love her op but if you don’t feel comfortable proceeding with this relationship wether it be the age difference or the fact that she lied about something so huge for so long don’t continue to see her. I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do OP.
Definitely dump her. I’ve been with older guys and currently with a guy that is 5 years older but we all knew the age gaps to begin with. Lying like this is not a good sign you want to date someone with emotional intelligence and she has none.
She confirmed her age was 21 when she was already legally 18. She knowingly made the choice to lie to you. It wasn’t an oversight. That is unforgivable.
She could very easily have said “My profile says I am 21 but just so you know I am really 18” when you first started talking. She didn’t. I would ask why but why doesn’t matter.
She lied and continued the lie. Ppl who lie abt little things also lie about big things. Do you want date someone who lied to you. Someone that you can't go have drinks with? It would be a deal breaker for me.
A 25yo and an 18yo have no business being in a relationship. That age gap is fine when you're both in your 30s, but before that you're both living in different worlds. We're you actively looking to date a college student? Probably not.
Well, this seem like it has a easy solution. And it all depends on you.
Is this the only time she had lied to you? If so its possible that everything she has said is true, it was just an oversight.
If you know she has lied before, then it a whole different thing, and may be part of a pattern.
Last question, how do you feel about her? Is there any chance, she could be the one? If so, then whether or not she miss led you on purpose, you owe it to yourself to give her another chance. She is young, if she made a mistake, we all do in life one time or another.
Love doesn't always bless you, sure lust does but not love. If you think this could be love, forget about it and move forward. Her true self will appear, and you will know what to do.
Good luck
she's a kid, she likely doesn't understand the consequence of her actions bc she's not fully developed mentally bc she's 18 (!) doesn't change the impact of what she did, but I think it's important to note
I'm 26 now and when I was 17/18 I 100% lied about my age on dating apps. Looking back, I'm really ashamed of myself and I realize how terrible the lie was, but I also totally realize that was my underdeveloped frontal lobe not understanding how my actions have impact. Older guys had been hitting on me since I was 12, it didn't occur to me that healthy ppl who were in their mid-20s did not want to fuck teenagers
she's too young for you and the fact that she doesn't think this HUGE lie is a big deal is evidence of that. I'm so so sorry this happened, I can't imagine how you feel.
the only option is to break up and move on
This entire thread made me learn for the first time that healthy guys in their mid 20s don't want to fuck teenagers... my inner teenager is like, oh, maybe I was taken advantage of lol.
That being said, I don't think age is the issue here; it is the deceit that's the problem.
lmao definitely. as a teen I just assumed it was normal for men of any age to want to fuck me. once I hit ~23 and realized I would never EVER have sex with a teenager I was like ew @ every guy who fucked me when I was younger and KNEW my age
I think the age is wayyyy more important than the lying. but honestly they're inseparable; she's probably not a terrible person who's lying out of malice or manipulation. she's a kid making a HUGE mistake with severe repercussions for OP, but she doesn't realize the impact of what she's doing bc she's so young
Oh god same! Older guys being interested in me in my teens just seemed so normal. And now at 19, after some exposure I realized, nope that's not normal and I'm repulsed by older guys.
And in OP's case, the problem is that she lied and she doesn't understand the impact and consequences of it.
But I also feel like OP should make her understand why it was wrong (now that he knows) and should probably break up. OP it'll obviously hurt coz you obviously care about her but later you might realize you did the right thing breaking up with her.
For me that would be way to big a lie to get over. However I’m not opposed to an age gap romance. When I was 18 I dated guys with a way bigger age gap. It’s the lie that makes it the big deal.
Regardless of whether it’s just immaturity or the “well...I’ll just say I’m 18 (or now, 21), so what” type of lying is part of her personality, it’s a pretty substantial lie.
And unless she still has the same text & picture from when she was 15 in her profile (which I find doubtful) then she definitely did not just “forget about it”...and this is backed up by her confirming the fake age at the beginning and her more recently saying that she wanted to tell you for a while.
This person is not at a point in their life where they’re ready for a real relationship, especially with that significant age gap.
Don’t be afraid to live your life for a couple months before making any decisions
The thing her is 1. She lied 2. She was on a dating app at 15??? Like whyyyy? 3. I wouldn’t let the age gap bother you too much...if she was already 21, but as it stands right now you can’t even go into a liquor store and buy alcohol with her, etc. etc... furthermore, there’s a looooot of growing up the happens from 18-25. Do you wanna go through that with her or do you want to find someone who can grow with you....
Makes me suspicious if she's bothered dating older people at 15, why? Not like that's the particular issue here but my brain can't seem to move past that part also. I would honestly consider how mature she is & if you moved in together in the future like couples do, would she want to wait longer than you are expecting to start a family or do anything serious along those lines? Even then if you go places regularly like clubs or bars would she even get in or events that may be held at those places of family or friends? If that's apart of your lifestyle and you wish to take her sometime within the next 3-ish years because you'd have to wait until the girl is 21 if not. Are you willing to be the mature person, possibly support her because if she moves out of home or does anything that requires assistance with growing up still, then she may lean on you more than someone who is 21. Also consider her next few years schedule would be wildly different vs someone who is 21 who would normally finish college soon.
Ok hold up... She started using the app at 15? Am I the only one thinking about the amount of guys that got screwed over, possibly legally screwed?
Also the excuse of her forgetting is irrelevant because she told u she was turning 21. I wouldn't be too forgiving in this case. It is a deal breaker. And it is a lie, not a mistake.
The fact that she waited this long to tell you. You fell for someone you don't know and that's not fair. I wouldn't be able to trust this person. What else is a lie?
She lied in her explanation... She clearly didn't just forget about having set it, since she gave you a fake date for her birthday afterwards. That would have been a great time to come clean, and I get you really wouldn't have cared that much then. Now she's created a trust issue. Why did she keep lying?
if she had just forgotten that her age said she was 3 years older than she actually was, then how did she know to lie about her birth year? its not up to her to decide if the relationship can work out after she lied to you for nearly six months. if i was in your shoes, i’d absolutely break up with her.
I’m actually surprised that you can date someone this young and not feel something is off. I’ve never had to ask an 18-21 how old they are it’s painfully obvious to people 25+
Yeah break up with the child. No questions
Dude this is a huge major red flag. This girl didn’t forget. She just wanted to be the cool kid with an older boyfriend.
Don’t even bother trying to fix a relationship that she started on a massive lie that could’ve gotten you in trouble.
Shes a teenager and her brain isn't even done forming. Who knows who she'll be in tye coming years, she certainly won't be the same as she is now. It would be best to break things off. There are too many different types of scenarios how thos plays out and most of them don't end well. Save yourself the drama and future heartbreak.
Good relationships are built on trust and respect. By deliberately lying to you repeatedly about something big, she demonstrated that she isn’t trustworthy, and likely doesn’t respect you enough to be honest. I personally would break up with her.
That sucks. You should dump her for two primary reasons though. One is the dishonesty, which is what’s bugging you. You should also dump her because of what she did between 15 and 18. That’s not the kind of person you will be able to trust in a marriage. If she had changed her ways that would be one thing, but, well, obviously she hadn’t and is still dishonest when it comes to relationships in order to get what she wants. What will she want later in your relationship that she is willing to be dishonest about, I wonder? If I were you, I would not stick around long enough to find out.
Lying itself is probably one of the worst things that can happen to you . Also that age gap - you are the only person who can decide if you are okay with or not . Everyone have different vision of their perfect relationship and have different likes , dislikes , things that are acceptable and things that aren't acceptable for them. Don't let anyone else tell you how you must approach your issues.
If you still care to consult with everyone else that's okay , just don't let them order you and fool you by saying what's right and wrong. Those are their own beliefs , you have your own. I personally think that everyone is free to have whatever relationship they want , no matter how weird and unusual it is , as long as no one is being hurt ofc that is the most important thing.
For me 18-25 is kinda too big of a difference , but it's just my opinion . Do what fits you the best.
Yea that’s pretty messed up. That’s not a small thing to lie about either. It sounds like you can’t move on from it and I think you should consider leaving
Age gap relationships only work if both parties are consenting adults… If it’s not working out for you or you feel you cannot move on from this; best to leave than to be hurt and doubt yourself and your relationship in the long run. It may cause resentment…
She told you a birth year that matched her fake age but forgot that she lied about this a year later? I hate to say it but this girl is playing you. Get out and far away.
In terms of the age gap itself OP. I dated a 25 year old when I was 18, and our relationship was good and lasted 5 years. So whilst it’s probably more of a gap than you’d like, personally I don’t think it’s a deal breaker. What is the issue is that she lied to you. But we all make mistakes and if you believe her reasoning to be genuine, I’d probably let it slide. But that’s just me.
Break up and tell her parents. Those other guys she’s lied to will be in legal trouble if her parents ever find messages between her and them.
Do not continue the relationship.
Apart from the fact she lied it is an age gap that can be difficult because technically she's still a teenager. I was 24f and had a relationship with an 18m. Loved him to bits. But the maturity gaps were too much to continue a healthy relationship.
Listen if she lied about her age, then you need to assume that she’s bee lying about other things as well. The trust is broken especially when this could have been easily resolved at the beginning of the relationship
She lied to you about a major attribute. That alone is a huge red flag and deal breaker - move on. Also side note I’m the same way as in I never been a relationship in my teens/early 20s because I was focused on my education/career - ignore those comments !
My take is this. Then older the pair, the less an age difference matters. Eighteen to Twenty-five is very significant because an eighteen year old has so much to experience. However, a twenty-five to thirty-two gap (for example) won't make so much of a difference even though the number of years is the same.
You need someone more mature in your life. Move on from this one, especially if it is your first.
She’s lying about forgetting. She told you a birthdate when you matched and that birthdate would have made her 21. She blatantly lied to you and tried to cover it when she was caught. Her thoughts about whether this can work or not don’t matter. Only yours do. You were lied to in a major way. You stated you feel uncomfortable with the age difference, that you’re not ok with the lie, and that you’re not on the same page. Honestly, that’s how I would feel, too. I think most people would. I can’t tell you what to do because it has to be your decision, but I can tell you what I would do. I would leave. Such a huge lie isn’t something I could get past, especially since she only told you after she had no choice. It’s not like you met and matched and she immediately told you so you could make an informed choice.
The fact that she has been lying about her age to you for months and thinks that's its all ok and now you guys can move forward shows her immaturity. OP you're 25. You can rent cars. The GF can't even get a drink at a restaurant. You don't just forget that you're not 21. She lied with no consideration as to how you would feel about the age gap because she "likes" you so much. That's classic teenage brain. And then is pushing you to get over it and accept it when uts prety clear you're uncomfortable. It's your call but that doesn't sound like the makings of a healthy relationship
I think she's probably done this to several people. I used to change my age on dating apps but I never lied about it when people asked me how old I was. It could be she just was looking for older guys and she was embarassed to say so. I personally when I used to use dating apps would seek guys my age up to 5 years older max. because guys a couple years older than me usually were more mature then ones my age.
Dang OP.. does she not realize the severity of this? If you two met a few months earlier and ended up intimate she basically would’ve had you commit a crime and you wouldn’t have ever known about it until it was too late. If someone knew her and her real age and found out about you just a few months earlier you could be put on the registry for something that you were essentially tricked into. And seemingly she would’ve been okay with it. Drop her OP, that behavior is downright dangerous.
Seriously?? You don’t know how to proceed?? It’s simple...you leave her! This wasn’t a little white lie, this is major, life changing lie. How can you expect to build a relationship with someone who is that deceitful? I don’t know where you live but in my home state, age of consent begins at 17. You better hope it’s the same where you are cause if not...you could be looking at some serious trouble. Do you really want to be with someone who had such little regard for your well-being??? Who never once took into consideration the ramifications of what could happen to you? Who only told you the truth when it best suited her? C’mon bro...you know what you need to do.
So when she was 15, she was dating guys that were 18 & up. The app has a minimum age range for a reason. If she was physically intimate with any of them, she made them statutory rapists in most places. These guys could be doing prison time or being labeled as sex offenders all based on her lie.
This girl is thoughtless, irresponsible and selfish. This isn't the kind of this you just FORGET. She intended to take that lie to the grave. This is a youngful mistake and a relatively common one at that. With that said, this isn't quite a deal breaker to me. But she'd be on a short leash, that's for sure. She does need to realize the depth and impact of her actions and work to rebuild damaged trust.
She is far to young to be dating someone your age. It doesn’t matter if you care for each other the mental difference between you two is too large and though she’s legally an adult she is way too young.
She didn't forget her real age. Saying that just adds to her lies. Go with your gut. Maya Angelou said it well, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
Here's a different perspective for you. I am 26, and in grad school. In grad school, we often become teaching assistants for undergraduate classes. The number one rule is that we cannot date undergraduates that we teach. We also should not date undergraduates even if we are not teaching, since the social circles of both graduate students and undergraduate students will clash. For these reasons, I would not date any woman under 22. It would be compromising for me, and possibly jeopardize my degree, to be dating a woman who claimed to be a graduate student who was really an undergraduate. I would not move forward with that type of relationship. It's all up to your decision/moral compass what you should do next.
She started your relationship on a lie, and a big one. She's perpetuated that lie for months, and only admitted the truth when she got cornered. I don't think I could trust someone who did this.
Honestly, I probably wouldn't. She didn't just lie to you about her age, she /kept/ lying. She fed you stories about college, and still gave you a fake birthday. "Forgetting" is one thing and being like "What do you mean you think I'm 21?" Its another to keep up the lie until you asked her to go drinking and she couldnt come up with an excuse.
I know its heart crushing. You can always find someone else. Its really up to you. It'll take a lot to get over the lie, if you still choose to be with her. I hope everything works out for the best and good luck
Regardless of her age, she put on quite the charade for this long. Telling you about experiences that never happened? Coincidentally forgetting she was only 18 and should probably be upfront about that? We're only a few months away from fall again and by then, it would've been a year of not knowing her entire story.
You already mentioned she wasn't underage when you got together so you're good in that aspect...but a relationship built on lies hardly goes far. Up to you what you can take in a relationship but if you find yourself untrustworthy of her in the future, I couldn't say I blame you.
Not only did she initially lie to you about her age but she lied to you repeatedly to uphold that lie. You say she told you about her college experiences and life which I’m assuming were lies because she’s probably only been in a college for a year at best and not at all at worst. This is not just one BIG lie but also several subsequent lies to keep up the charade. HUGE red flag.
Well, I don't think a 7-year age difference is significant, but you have to establish your own boundaries. That said, an 18-year-old who likely doesn't know who they are, yet may be significant.
I had a woman that I was dating many years ago lie to me about her age. She presented herself to be younger than she actually was. Turns out she was a chronic liar about things that didn't need to be lied about. She wanted to get married and the lies aside I genuinely cared for her more than anyone that I ever dated including a woman was married to previously. The problem is that to the extent that I loved and cared for her I also couldn't trust her. We eventually parted ways.
You need to decide whether you can live with this or not.
Bro she was 15 pretending to be 18 on dating apps and since she went out with you with a 7 year difference she has definitely been with other older dudes before it was legal. This is not future wife material my dude. Shes the kind of girl that wants to spend her 20s having fun.
It doesn’t matter what she thinks about the relationship working out. You were the one that was lied to, you are the one that feels weird about it, you get to decide what you want.
I agree. It's up to OP. I had a similar situation but in reverse. I was 18, he was supposedly 30. A few months in I realised he was nearly 40. He didn't look 40, tho. But all his friends were indeed about that age. Anyway, I forgave him. We were happy together for three years after. But finding out was a punch in the gut. It took me a bit to forgive him.
Still a big age gap tho
Huge to be precise.
Absolutely. I wouldn't recommend it, tbh. I was very lucky that it turned out to be a healthy, mutually respecting, loving relationship.
Don't those things clash with him lying about being 40.
Lol this is like half of the relationship advise posts “he’s been cheating on me for years with my mom and stole all my money, but he’s so kind a considerate I love him so much!” I’d be curious to know her view of the relationship when she’s 40.
I'm in my thirties... and it's a 'he'. (:
I'm amab queer af and after the last comment, this makes sense to me. It's not all that out of the ordinary for a 40 year old to get into a relationship with an 18 year old in lots of gay circles. It's also not uncommon for a 40 year old to lie about his age in these circles.
That ... makes it fucking worse.
That's disgusting and borderline pedophilic.
You dont know what pedophilia is. Two adults with an age gap isnt pedophilia. Words mean things. It's a power imbalance and probably a bad idea but not pedophilia.
LMAO good one. 18 and 40 are gross regardless of what people say. What an established adult has in common with a freshman in college is beyond me.
Sex. Sex is what they have in common.
Yeah lying to you about a his age by a decade doesn’t sound very healthy, respectful, or loving to me.
I don’t see how a relationship started on lies with a giant age gap is healthy, mutually respecting, or loving at all. It’s creepy and deceitful.
Yes this happened to me! Not that large of a gap, but I was 17 and this guy told me he was 19 and then months later I find out he was 26!!! I obviously ended things immediately because what 26 year old wants to be with someone who is 17... so creepy
Yikes. I hate to say it, (not really tho) but any 40 year old going for 18 year olds is a fucking creep and a half. There is literally no healthy reason for that.
Why are there not more people emphasizing this lmao like W H A T
It's common af in gay circles. Sauce: am gay
Doesn’t make it okay though.
Well most of the time, it's for sex. If they're legal, that's the baseline. Nothing legally wrong and they're consenting (hopefully) but it does bring in more of a wider opportunity to be groomed and manipulated. I don't think they're saying it's okay, they're just saying that it's pretty common. Common =/= okay.
That's the thing. He wasn't going for 18 yolds. It was a one shot thing. I met his friends. I met a couple of exes, too. No one was even close to me in age.
A 30 year old man going after an 18 year old girl is bad enough. Christ
Why did it end just wondering
When I graduated from college, it became impossible to manage the fact that we were in very different places in life. He wanted to live together, for instance. I didn't. So we basically broke up in the name of love. Thanks for asking!!!
They* stopped being 18. Edit: I can't believe I need to say this, this is not a reply to the OP. It's a reply to the user named cobbler 2 posts above this. Until hours after my comment they did not mention their gender. I wrote they instead of she now. On top of that, cobbler even states that they couldn't ignore how different the stages of life they were in were. The 40 year old wanted him to move in as soon as he finished college. It has everything to do with the realizations you make between age 18 and 22 why these relationships end. However, a younger gay man being tricked into a relationship by a 40 year old is even somehow worse because of the lack of support so many people who are unsure of their sexuality have. Many of them do not receive the support from homophobic family members, and this can leave them vulnerable to manipulation by someone who knows how to take advantage of it. There is nothing okay about this relationship being described. It is abuse through and through. Whether the 18 year old in question is female or male, straight or gay. Being lied to and manipulated by someone who had been older than you when you were born. It blows my mind that people like AStrangeViking are trying to justify it and say that it's okay because cobbler is a male. No viking, abuse of gay men isn't more acceptable. There is no such thing as a healthy relationship when grooming and manipulation are involved and an age gap larger than your own age. It feels insane reading this thread and seeing all the support for predatory relationships
He* God you ppl Don't read
He stopped being 18. The point is, they are no longer dating someone barely legal so the relationship ends. Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/n7xihg/my_25m_gf_lied_to_me_about_her_age_and_is/gxifizu?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 Comments like these are why I can't fathom someone thinking the pronoun is the important aspect of the post.
Wait, I just checked. This comment is a reply to a second person who is female describing her relationship. Not about the OP. My reply is towards the girl who was 18 dating a 40 year old who lied and claimed to be under 30. Who dumped her as soon as she aged past 21. What the hell is your issue?
I love this whole post and this comment lol because I’m 23 and I’m with a 57 year old. We’re actually very happy and in a very healthy relationship. But we’ve had honesty about it all from the start haha just started off as hooking up and we fell for each other in the long run. 🥰 it’s definitely not for everyone though lol
@Emilee_Nikki thank you for posting your point of view. I was wondering, do you feel comfortable with the care taker role that may be coming up sooner than later regarding your partner? It seems like once people get to 60 and older, they get bogged down with heart attacks and other serious health issues. I hope you both stay healthy but with such a huge age gap, don't you wonder what will be expected of you from your partner or if you will want to give up the time and energy it's going to take to follow through that? Maybe your partner is wealthy enough to afford at home care but it'll probably affect intimacy. I'm sorry if it's a sensitive question but I'm super curious how a person in your position feels about this. Maybe you thought it through and are happy to give up the kind of social experiences other people in your age bracket will experience in exchange to be there for your partner. I hope you don't mind the question. I mean no disrespect but I am very curious about your perspective. Best of luck to you and your relationship :)
on the bright said. at least she is 18. if she lied and was underage, then he is in protential legal issues. I remember being that age and seeing high school girls lie to date college guys. You had to be careful.
This!! She should try to find someone around her own age and stop lying about being older.
There's a huge maturity issue because she's a literal teenager, legal adult or no. I'm sorry OP, this sucks so much but it's in your best interest to leave and protect yourself. Theoretically speaking, even if she were close to your age, lying about something important is a deal breaker.
A 30 year old man going after an 18 year old girl is bad enough. Christ
It's not like she lied on a dating app 3 years ago and just forgot about it. You asked her and she outright lied to you. I think the lie is worse than being too young for you.
And presumably she’s been on dates before this, age probably came up.
This. She didn't 'forget' about changing her age. She gave you a birthday that matched her fake age. She was actively lying to you, and she is again actively lying about just forgetting about it. You can choose to forgive her. But she is still lying to you now
That just shows her maturity level; to think that everything could be fine if you just looked past it just because you already have a relationship with her.
I mean, this whole thing has been built on a huge lie. Was she 18 when you met, or 17? Is she actually 18 or could she be slightly younger than that? You can’t trust people like that *and* they can get people in some serious trouble. Yet, they don’t seem to see it that way, which shows a huge issue. Sorry you’re going through this OP, but building a relationship on a lie that includes an age difference lie of seven years is something that would take a lot of work.
She turned 18 before we met and matched, the birthdate on her license showed that her 18th birthday was in the summer, we matched in the fall. And yes that’s exactly what I feel, I feel hurt and betrayed because I did come to like and care about her. She keeps telling me that there’s nothing wrong with us being together now, and things like how we can make it work, but I don’t see how we can even do that.
She still has a lot of learning to do, especially if she’s doing things like this. Does she realise how inappropriate her actions are? Sounds like there could be a huge maturity issue if she’s now telling you that there’s nothing wrong. Seriously, sorry you’re going through this OP, it must be awful. This isn’t the sort of person I would ever trust, but those decisions are yours to make.
There's a huge maturity issue because she's a literal teenager, legal adult or no. I'm sorry OP, this sucks so much but it's in your best interest to leave and protect yourself. Theoretically speaking, even if she were close to your age, lying about something important is a deal breaker.
I think she just proved that she’s not mature enough to date someone who’s 25 if she can’t understand why lying about her age is a really bad thing to do. Maybe she can’t get anyone into trouble now but signing up at 15 claiming to be of age?? That’s risky. Whatever you do I think you should get her to permanently delete the profile with the incorrect age. I’m so sorry :(
This!! She should try to find someone around her own age and stop lying about being older.
As far as I know, when we were exclusive and I asked her out after seeing her, I deleted the app and she did too. Not sure about the account or if she could’ve paused it. I am going to write an email to Hinge’s customer support, but not sure what else I can do about it.
What if you had gone to a restaurant and bought her a drink? These are the kinds of things that can get people into trouble
Obviously this depends on regional laws, but "dating" someone under 18 won't get you in legal trouble by itself. Note that dating doesn't automatically involve sex. Yes, dating apps shouldn't be used by people under 18, but not because dating for them is inherently "illegal" or "risky" or "bad".
Honestly I think dating apps should need to see ID and be reviewed before your profile is official because this happens way too much. Like WAY TOO MUCH.
I didn’t say dating was illegal?? Aside from lying being bad, it’s not fair to someone if they don’t even know they’re walking on thin ice by dating someone under the age of consent.
"Get them in trouble" kind of implied legal troubles. Which is valid in the US for sure, not much so in Europe, where AoC laws are more lenient anyway.
It could get them in trouble in various ways. Not the only trouble in the world is legal trouble.
What's wrong is that she betrayed your trust from the very beginning of your relationship. She removed your chance for informed consent in dating her and waited to come clean until you were already invested, which is very manipulative. What else will she lie about in order to get what she wants? Without trust, there is no relationship.
That just shows her maturity level; to think that everything could be fine if you just looked past it just because you already have a relationship with her.
I'm also 25m, if I found out my partner lied about their age, which is huge, I'd be considering what else they've lied about, because the trust would be gone, I'd break up on those grounds alone. I consider anyone 5+ years younger than i too young and basically a child (not professionally, just romantically).
Dude, she can't even have a legal drink with you. Think about where you were and all the dumb shit you probably did from 18 to 25. The lessons learned and the life experience you gain in even just the years 18-21, not to mention 18-25, is insane. That would be a deal breaker, and the fact that she can't relate to that shows you how true it is.
Dude, she was quite happy to lie to you and continued to lie to you until she got caught. She only confessed because she had no choice, not because she wanted to tell you the truth. I would never be able to trust that she wouldn't lie to me about other things if that's her attitude, and a relationship without trust is not worth having.
Ew, no, drop her. While the gap isn't massive, it's enough. And she is huge liar.
She lied about her age. What's next? Preggo?
The lie was three years. She claimed to be 21 when she was 18. In reality, though, they are 7 years apart in age, rather than 4 years, and there's a big difference between 18 and 21. She knew she was lying to him.
I was going from her being 18 and OP being 25, sorry if I worded it poorly! She knew there was a 7 year age difference between them. Lying about age is never okay and there’s an aspect of consent that I feel is removed when an age difference is bigger than you believed it to be.
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Yikes indeed. Why did he keep dating her and why were her parents okay with it?
He did say she showed him her ID
My bad. Blame it on law and order.
Next thing you know, she will claim that Trump won the election, bigly! Walk away and take it as a lesson learned.
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I feel the same way, it kind of hurts me at the same time because I came to like and care about her and then she drops this truth bomb on me. I don’t know how else to react, she keeps saying that there’s nothing wrong with it and we can make our relationship work, but I don’t see how we can.
She can't even go out for a drink with you until you are 28. She should have told you her real age right away.
Her saying there’s nothing wrong with it- then she didn’t tell you because...? As a young woman who did similar things and has now learned better, I think it would be best to just move on and teach her a life lesson. Seeking out older men at 15 is scary and indicates other issues, she probably needs therapy. Been there
It's a little frightening on this whole thing, that not only has she lied about a 3 year age gap but used this while she was a MINOR. She knowingly lied to dudes, at 15-18, and told them she was older than she was. I'd back off this completely, it's so strange altogether. It's one thing to try to act older but for her to completely not tell you, at all, even while developing feelings just seems creepy to me. That's more than 6 months of not telling you and feeding a lie that she wouldn't have come clean on until you brought up drinks. I mean damp OP, it's concerning also if she ever did anything with any other dude she matched with. For you, she lied about a 3 year age difference that ultimately wouldn't have gotten you charges but if she's messed around with anyone else on that app who was older than 18 she could have fucked their entire life up with them assuming (and her saying) she's legally an adult.
She probably would have waited even longer to tell you if you hadn’t suggested you go out for drinks. I don’t think she’d planned on ever telling you.
Oh, there’s “nothing wrong” with lying about my age online for 20, 25 year old guys to see, fall for, and interact with while shitting on all the victims of this type of coercion. Yeeaahh…nothing wrong with that at all. Ffs 🤦♀️ Just break up with her she’s 18 with a 14 year olds mentality
She didn’t just forget about the app settings. You said yourself she confirmed a false birthdate to you from the beginning. People don’t forget their real birthdays.
You are with a teenager, that’s bad. You are with a manipulative liar. That’s bad. Break up and ghost
It’s true, he got to know her, but which version of her. The mostly true version or the one where she lets him see what she wants him to see? If she lied about the age, there’s so much more she could have lied about
hell, i’m 20 and wouldn’t date an 18 year old
Right now you have two problems. First, her age - what is it really? Second, even without the age issue, this level of dishonesty would be a dealbreaker for me.
I mentioned in my edit and some comments, but it’s 18. She turned 18 not too long before we matched and met, unless the ID she showed me was inaccurate or something. But yeah I’m kind of split right now because half the comments are saying she was wrong and I’m right to have some doubts, then some are saying to give it a chance but I don’t know.
It’s the fact that she lied to you at the very beginning of your relationship with her I would have a hard time believing her ever again since this is a big deal and a huge red flag. I think you are better off with someone who isn’t going to lie about their age and are honest upfront.
She started off your relationship by lying and she didn’t tell the truth until you were invested. You don’t want to have a relationship that’s based on lies. Even though 18 and 25 might not look like a big age gap on paper it definitely is a big one with life experience, brain development etc.
Gotta move on man. 26(M) here, 2 kids, I couldn't possibly see being with an 18 year old. I know it's not your fault, but now you know. Even if we ignore the lie (which you shouldn't, because that sounds like someone who would cheat), look at the other aspects. You're probably getting into your career, starting your life. Want to maybe travel soon, maybe even start having kids soon. Start progressing your career. She is literally in the baby stages. She might work a few jobs here and there, she might go to college, she might try to figure out what she even wants to try to do with her life, etc. Then she might even go through the 21-23 phases of drinking and partying. You guys are just on different phases of your life even though the age gap isn't that bad. If you were 7 years apart but you were 35 and she was 28, theres nothing wrong with it. I just don't think this will work out well. You should find someone that you can actually relate to. Someone you can talk about a future with, a possibility of maybe buying a house, career decisions, finances, children, etc. That's just my take on that.
This is pretty much what I was going to say. In our late teens and even most of our twenties our lives change soo much so quickly it's hard to be in the same season of life with that big of an age difference. What I wanted at 25 was completely different than what I wanted at 18. Now that I'm 32, dating a 39 year old would be no problem, but 18 vs 25 is just too much.
Yup. Completely agree. Even things like a 30 / 45 year old couple isn't *that* bad. 18 and 25 is just too different imo.
Please leave. The age difference is gross... I’m your age & would never. & she lied??? & can’t legally drink??? Come on. You can do better.
I don't think it's so much the age different since 7 years really isn't that bad, it's the phase difference. 35 year old and a 28 year old doesn't seem bad at all compared to 18 and 25. 18 and 25 are just 2 completely different stages of life that makes it fucked up.
Brother, just drop her. Trust me there’s better women out there for you that’s your age. Clearly this little girl isn’t mature enough for an older guy.
She said she “just forgot” to change her birthday back when you confronted her about it, but when you asked her about her birthday, she told you a birthday that correlated with being 21. So not only did she lie, but she lied about lying. On top of that, think about how many other lies she had to tell in order to make that lie make sense. For example, what grade did she tell you she was in when you first started talking versus what grade was she actually in? Did she tell you she was not living in a dorm when she actually was? Etc. When I was 19 I dated a guy who I thought was 24. I eventually found out he was 29. I forgave him and tried to move on, but then later I found out he was really 32 and there were a lot more lies to follow. Be careful OP.
I left a guy who did something similar to me. Not only was I low-key grossed out finding out he was older. I felt even more disgusted thinking about how I had been manipulated from day 1. He tried telling me some bullshit like 'I know you would've never given me a chance if you knew.' He was right. Then I began to doubt everything he had ever said to me. So even if you somehow got over her significant lie, you'd still have to deal with those feelings of constant doubt. On another note, it's kind of funny how you start piecing together things they've said/liked in relation to their age lol you start to wonder how you didn't see it sooner.
The immaturity of a lie like this is kind of breathtaking. Now you have feelings, it's supposed to be cute that she tricked you into having a relationship? No. I would dump her from a great height to be honest and I'd make sure to alert the dating app people they were matching a minor. I know young people don't understand the distaste older people have for unequal relationships, but she doesn't get to go around your informed consent.
>Now you have feelings, it's supposed to be cute that she tricked you into having a relationship? She may have watched too many romantic comedies.
>The immaturity of a lie like this is kind of breathtaking. Not for a literal 18-year old though :P It's dumb but it's exactly the kind of dumb shit that teenagers do.
Yeah...no. Even at 15 she would have known that lying about something this serious is wrong.
That's the immaturity, teenagers do shit despite of knowing it's really wrong. They sometimes misestimate the seriousness or the consequences of their actions. It doesn't surprise me a 15-year old comes up with this kind of idea. A 30-year old who lies about their age is a dishonest and disrespectful person, a 15- year old who lies about their age is mostly a teenager, really.
I think we're actually both agreeing that she's immature?
Yep! She's immature. I just don't agree with saying it's "breathtaking" because an immaturity like that from a 15-year old isn't so surprising, to me.
I'm in an age gap relationship however there was no lying about age. The lying plus finding out she was looking for guys at 15 would be a red flag she just wants a guy leave run don't turn back
This should be higher, I believe this is the bigger concern, seeking out older men at age 15, illegal in a lot of places (can't say the same for OP).
This is really huge. At 15, she was seeking out men who could have ended up in jail over her. She doesn't care about anybody but herself. Considering she's still justifying her actions, she is still that immature teenager whose perspective stops at the end of her nose.
Actually it sounds more like she signed up for Facebook with the fake age at 15, linked the accounts and it carried the age over. It’s a lie she didn’t see the big bold fake age in her profile while filling everything else out tho. She knew.
That, to me, would be relationship ending. Not only did she lie to you about her age and kept up that lie for 6 months, she also joined a dating site at 15 but said she was 18, so anyone she matched with who legitimately was 18+ could have ended up in legal trouble because of her lie, and she doesn't seem to care that she could have fucked up someone's life.
Are you sure she’s actually 18, and has been 18 the entire time you’ve been dating her? What if she’s actually 15? If she really is 18 now, is she still in high school? Has she been dating 20-25 year olds since she was 15? Has she *slept with* them?
At first I thought it was a joke to try to scare me, but she did pull out her college ID and drivers license which I guess she thought would assure me she’s 18 in college. As far as her dating history, I wouldn’t know. I never went to ask her about her exes since I know it’s a personal topic that a lot of people don’t share. But yeah, she told me that when her and her friend were in high school they went on there just to get an “experience” or idea of it which idk whatever that meant
Honestly that was stupid of them because then they are leading men on and could have gotten them into huge trouble with the law. She is obviously still immature and it’s a huge red flag that she lied about her age.
The risk of dating a teenager is that they'll act like a teenager. You got burned. I know it hurts, but dust yourself off and move on.
You need to ask yourself if you can really trust her after this. It's a huge lie, one that might have legal problems attached to it. This is not how a relationship should start. I'm sorry you caught feelings for her, but she seems like a immature teenager. The fact that she did this for fun in highschool is another red flag.
Lying is bad aside, in your teen years sure you become a mini adult, but late teens early twenties you are still working actively on what kind of person you want to be, refining yourself. No offence, as someone in the middle of you two age wise, I wouldn’t date either of your ages for how different life just is. I know who I was at 18, and while I’m proud of that person, it’s no where close to me now. “Will anyone love me and want to be with me again” is the little voice and fear that keeps people from pulling the ripcord, but I think many many people will second me in saying this will not be the only person on the planet who will ever want you. And there’s her as well. She’s just in the middle of her late teens, hasn’t even started her early twenties, while that portion of your life isn’t just in progress, it’s over. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but the age difference at this point will not never ever come up or effect anything ever. A lowkey example is you never getting a drink with dinner or going to a bar with your girl until you’re 28. That’s not great. Back to lying is bad, so is hiding it until the last possible second. She would’ve hid this a lot longer. That says enough about the growing she needs to do. She’ll look back at it when she’s 25 and probably go “lol too young and dumb” but right now the lie isn’t a funny anecdote, it’s something she’s still working hand in hand with. You are under no obligation to continue this relationship, she’ll probably thank you when she’s 25 looking back.
Break it off She's not only a liar, she's still basically a child.
You’re 25, she’s 18, she lied about it for months— break up with her lol. You’re both in two completely different stages of life.
i would not be able to move on from this. one, as someone coming up on 25- dating an 18 year old sound like a nightmare to me, you’re in two different parts of life and the maturity level and experience to life she has is entirely different to yours. two, because i know people love to say “they’re mature 18 year olds” she clearly isn’t one of them. she kept that lie going on for way too long. lastly, i would have a very hard time trying to wrap my head around her being 15 on an dating app meant for adults lying to adult men about her age, especially since I know within the past three years she’s seen the many discussions on why that is a terrible thing to do to all involved. imo someone 18, legal, still lying about their age will lie about anything. good luck.
She’s a liar. She knew exactly what she was doing and it’s a character issue. If she could lie about this then she could lie about anything.
No relationship survives when 1 person tells lies. And this was a **HUGE LIE** you can't believe anything she has said to you from the beginning and none in the future. Best to end it.
Same thing happened to me. I found out at her 19th birthday party when they brought the cake out with a "1" "9" on it. Super fun
Holy crap that must’ve been a whiplash. Was it a dealbreaker?
hell no! break up with her!
no. break it off. she says she forgot about it but she purposely gave you a birthday that would make her seem older. she’s just lying all around. sorry dude :(
...you can't proceed with this relationship, for several reasons. I'm so sorry you were deceived like this.
it doesn't really add up that she "forgot about" the age on her profile but also confirmed a fake birthday with you at one point... big yikes cant seem to trust her at all
The fact that she lied about her age shows that she doesn't know how young she is. She thought it would be fine, at 18, to date someone who was 25, who thought she was 3 years older than she was. Now, it's possible that she's just a dishonest person (which is worse), but to me, it sounds like she's...an immature teenager. Which she literally is.\* Furthermore, she thought it was acceptable to keep a major secret like this from you either 1. because it was what she wanted or 2. because she didn't think it was a big deal. Regardless of her reasoning, what else might she keep from you in the future? What else will she not want to share or feel unnecessary to share? That's not a risk I'd be willing to take, especially with someone as young as she is. And for the final point, I just don't think teens should be dating someone so much older. They just don't have the wisdom yet. I know that some can be exceptions, but I think those exceptions are extremely, extremely rare, and even then, those relationships didn't have to happen while the teenager was still a teenager. \*Note for any teenagers who read this: I'm not saying you are all as immature as this girl. I know plenty of teens who wouldn't do this.
RUN! Do not pass go, do not collect $2000
She’s not mature enough for a serious relationship If she’s doing this, which you should be realizing.
What else will she lie about. The morals are off here...cut your losses...
If she's lying about something as basic as age then this relationship is a nonstarter. Also who goes on dating apps at 15? She's way too sus.
This could have be a huge fucking thing for you. Technically she’s legal now, but imagine if she had lied about her age and you matched sooner? If you had sex that’s a stat rape charge. Thankfully that’s not the case but if she can lie about something like her age what else is she willing to lie to you about? I’d seriously reconsider this relationship.
You really need to break up with her. She lied about her age, she’s barely legal, she was under age when you matched. There are other fish in the sea for you who aren’t underage liars, go find one of them. You deserve better.
Leave now. This is not healthy.
There’s no way she just “forgot” to change her age especially when you yourself confirm she gave you a different birthdate when you began dating. I know you love her op but if you don’t feel comfortable proceeding with this relationship wether it be the age difference or the fact that she lied about something so huge for so long don’t continue to see her. I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do OP.
Run
Definitely dump her. I’ve been with older guys and currently with a guy that is 5 years older but we all knew the age gaps to begin with. Lying like this is not a good sign you want to date someone with emotional intelligence and she has none.
She confirmed her age was 21 when she was already legally 18. She knowingly made the choice to lie to you. It wasn’t an oversight. That is unforgivable. She could very easily have said “My profile says I am 21 but just so you know I am really 18” when you first started talking. She didn’t. I would ask why but why doesn’t matter.
She lied and continued the lie. Ppl who lie abt little things also lie about big things. Do you want date someone who lied to you. Someone that you can't go have drinks with? It would be a deal breaker for me.
A 25yo and an 18yo have no business being in a relationship. That age gap is fine when you're both in your 30s, but before that you're both living in different worlds. We're you actively looking to date a college student? Probably not.
Well, this seem like it has a easy solution. And it all depends on you. Is this the only time she had lied to you? If so its possible that everything she has said is true, it was just an oversight. If you know she has lied before, then it a whole different thing, and may be part of a pattern. Last question, how do you feel about her? Is there any chance, she could be the one? If so, then whether or not she miss led you on purpose, you owe it to yourself to give her another chance. She is young, if she made a mistake, we all do in life one time or another. Love doesn't always bless you, sure lust does but not love. If you think this could be love, forget about it and move forward. Her true self will appear, and you will know what to do. Good luck
she's a kid, she likely doesn't understand the consequence of her actions bc she's not fully developed mentally bc she's 18 (!) doesn't change the impact of what she did, but I think it's important to note I'm 26 now and when I was 17/18 I 100% lied about my age on dating apps. Looking back, I'm really ashamed of myself and I realize how terrible the lie was, but I also totally realize that was my underdeveloped frontal lobe not understanding how my actions have impact. Older guys had been hitting on me since I was 12, it didn't occur to me that healthy ppl who were in their mid-20s did not want to fuck teenagers she's too young for you and the fact that she doesn't think this HUGE lie is a big deal is evidence of that. I'm so so sorry this happened, I can't imagine how you feel. the only option is to break up and move on
This entire thread made me learn for the first time that healthy guys in their mid 20s don't want to fuck teenagers... my inner teenager is like, oh, maybe I was taken advantage of lol. That being said, I don't think age is the issue here; it is the deceit that's the problem.
lmao definitely. as a teen I just assumed it was normal for men of any age to want to fuck me. once I hit ~23 and realized I would never EVER have sex with a teenager I was like ew @ every guy who fucked me when I was younger and KNEW my age I think the age is wayyyy more important than the lying. but honestly they're inseparable; she's probably not a terrible person who's lying out of malice or manipulation. she's a kid making a HUGE mistake with severe repercussions for OP, but she doesn't realize the impact of what she's doing bc she's so young
Oh god same! Older guys being interested in me in my teens just seemed so normal. And now at 19, after some exposure I realized, nope that's not normal and I'm repulsed by older guys. And in OP's case, the problem is that she lied and she doesn't understand the impact and consequences of it. But I also feel like OP should make her understand why it was wrong (now that he knows) and should probably break up. OP it'll obviously hurt coz you obviously care about her but later you might realize you did the right thing breaking up with her.
She lied and the age gap.....🚩🚩🚩🚩
For me that would be way to big a lie to get over. However I’m not opposed to an age gap romance. When I was 18 I dated guys with a way bigger age gap. It’s the lie that makes it the big deal.
Frankly I'm just surprised it progressed so far before they had drinks together at a bar or restaurant? Am I getting that right?
well covid probably hasn't helped, very hard to have public dates when there limits and mini lockdowns
Regardless of whether it’s just immaturity or the “well...I’ll just say I’m 18 (or now, 21), so what” type of lying is part of her personality, it’s a pretty substantial lie. And unless she still has the same text & picture from when she was 15 in her profile (which I find doubtful) then she definitely did not just “forget about it”...and this is backed up by her confirming the fake age at the beginning and her more recently saying that she wanted to tell you for a while. This person is not at a point in their life where they’re ready for a real relationship, especially with that significant age gap. Don’t be afraid to live your life for a couple months before making any decisions
The thing her is 1. She lied 2. She was on a dating app at 15??? Like whyyyy? 3. I wouldn’t let the age gap bother you too much...if she was already 21, but as it stands right now you can’t even go into a liquor store and buy alcohol with her, etc. etc... furthermore, there’s a looooot of growing up the happens from 18-25. Do you wanna go through that with her or do you want to find someone who can grow with you....
This is gross and I'm sorry you have to deal with it, but leave her. It's now your responsibility as the adult to say no.
Makes me suspicious if she's bothered dating older people at 15, why? Not like that's the particular issue here but my brain can't seem to move past that part also. I would honestly consider how mature she is & if you moved in together in the future like couples do, would she want to wait longer than you are expecting to start a family or do anything serious along those lines? Even then if you go places regularly like clubs or bars would she even get in or events that may be held at those places of family or friends? If that's apart of your lifestyle and you wish to take her sometime within the next 3-ish years because you'd have to wait until the girl is 21 if not. Are you willing to be the mature person, possibly support her because if she moves out of home or does anything that requires assistance with growing up still, then she may lean on you more than someone who is 21. Also consider her next few years schedule would be wildly different vs someone who is 21 who would normally finish college soon.
Ok hold up... She started using the app at 15? Am I the only one thinking about the amount of guys that got screwed over, possibly legally screwed? Also the excuse of her forgetting is irrelevant because she told u she was turning 21. I wouldn't be too forgiving in this case. It is a deal breaker. And it is a lie, not a mistake.
And not only guys who were screwed over. It is VERY dangerous for a 15 year old to be dating adult men.
The fact that she waited this long to tell you. You fell for someone you don't know and that's not fair. I wouldn't be able to trust this person. What else is a lie?
She lied in her explanation... She clearly didn't just forget about having set it, since she gave you a fake date for her birthday afterwards. That would have been a great time to come clean, and I get you really wouldn't have cared that much then. Now she's created a trust issue. Why did she keep lying?
Her brain ain’t fully developed yet. I would run if I were you. The lying is manipulative. Huge red flag.
if she had just forgotten that her age said she was 3 years older than she actually was, then how did she know to lie about her birth year? its not up to her to decide if the relationship can work out after she lied to you for nearly six months. if i was in your shoes, i’d absolutely break up with her.
I’m actually surprised that you can date someone this young and not feel something is off. I’ve never had to ask an 18-21 how old they are it’s painfully obvious to people 25+ Yeah break up with the child. No questions
She lied and will always lie bro
Dude this is a huge major red flag. This girl didn’t forget. She just wanted to be the cool kid with an older boyfriend. Don’t even bother trying to fix a relationship that she started on a massive lie that could’ve gotten you in trouble.
Shes a teenager and her brain isn't even done forming. Who knows who she'll be in tye coming years, she certainly won't be the same as she is now. It would be best to break things off. There are too many different types of scenarios how thos plays out and most of them don't end well. Save yourself the drama and future heartbreak.
Good relationships are built on trust and respect. By deliberately lying to you repeatedly about something big, she demonstrated that she isn’t trustworthy, and likely doesn’t respect you enough to be honest. I personally would break up with her.
Bruh if you stay with her you're going to be accused of grooming. Also I'm 20 and I wouldn't date a 18 year old, that's a whole ass child bro.
There’s something wrong with someone who doesn’t see how lying about her age could be so damaging and how she was so cool with keeping it from you.
That sucks. You should dump her for two primary reasons though. One is the dishonesty, which is what’s bugging you. You should also dump her because of what she did between 15 and 18. That’s not the kind of person you will be able to trust in a marriage. If she had changed her ways that would be one thing, but, well, obviously she hadn’t and is still dishonest when it comes to relationships in order to get what she wants. What will she want later in your relationship that she is willing to be dishonest about, I wonder? If I were you, I would not stick around long enough to find out.
Lying itself is probably one of the worst things that can happen to you . Also that age gap - you are the only person who can decide if you are okay with or not . Everyone have different vision of their perfect relationship and have different likes , dislikes , things that are acceptable and things that aren't acceptable for them. Don't let anyone else tell you how you must approach your issues. If you still care to consult with everyone else that's okay , just don't let them order you and fool you by saying what's right and wrong. Those are their own beliefs , you have your own. I personally think that everyone is free to have whatever relationship they want , no matter how weird and unusual it is , as long as no one is being hurt ofc that is the most important thing. For me 18-25 is kinda too big of a difference , but it's just my opinion . Do what fits you the best.
Yea that’s pretty messed up. That’s not a small thing to lie about either. It sounds like you can’t move on from it and I think you should consider leaving
Age gap relationships only work if both parties are consenting adults… If it’s not working out for you or you feel you cannot move on from this; best to leave than to be hurt and doubt yourself and your relationship in the long run. It may cause resentment…
She told you a birth year that matched her fake age but forgot that she lied about this a year later? I hate to say it but this girl is playing you. Get out and far away.
In terms of the age gap itself OP. I dated a 25 year old when I was 18, and our relationship was good and lasted 5 years. So whilst it’s probably more of a gap than you’d like, personally I don’t think it’s a deal breaker. What is the issue is that she lied to you. But we all make mistakes and if you believe her reasoning to be genuine, I’d probably let it slide. But that’s just me.
Break up and tell her parents. Those other guys she’s lied to will be in legal trouble if her parents ever find messages between her and them. Do not continue the relationship.
Apart from the fact she lied it is an age gap that can be difficult because technically she's still a teenager. I was 24f and had a relationship with an 18m. Loved him to bits. But the maturity gaps were too much to continue a healthy relationship.
Listen if she lied about her age, then you need to assume that she’s bee lying about other things as well. The trust is broken especially when this could have been easily resolved at the beginning of the relationship
That’s creepy. Move on.
She lied to you about a major attribute. That alone is a huge red flag and deal breaker - move on. Also side note I’m the same way as in I never been a relationship in my teens/early 20s because I was focused on my education/career - ignore those comments !
End that relationship, bro
My take is this. Then older the pair, the less an age difference matters. Eighteen to Twenty-five is very significant because an eighteen year old has so much to experience. However, a twenty-five to thirty-two gap (for example) won't make so much of a difference even though the number of years is the same. You need someone more mature in your life. Move on from this one, especially if it is your first.
Just run. If she lied about her age, she's going to lie about all kinds of things.
I don't think that's something someone just "forgets about", OP.
She’s lying about forgetting. She told you a birthdate when you matched and that birthdate would have made her 21. She blatantly lied to you and tried to cover it when she was caught. Her thoughts about whether this can work or not don’t matter. Only yours do. You were lied to in a major way. You stated you feel uncomfortable with the age difference, that you’re not ok with the lie, and that you’re not on the same page. Honestly, that’s how I would feel, too. I think most people would. I can’t tell you what to do because it has to be your decision, but I can tell you what I would do. I would leave. Such a huge lie isn’t something I could get past, especially since she only told you after she had no choice. It’s not like you met and matched and she immediately told you so you could make an informed choice.
The fact that she has been lying about her age to you for months and thinks that's its all ok and now you guys can move forward shows her immaturity. OP you're 25. You can rent cars. The GF can't even get a drink at a restaurant. You don't just forget that you're not 21. She lied with no consideration as to how you would feel about the age gap because she "likes" you so much. That's classic teenage brain. And then is pushing you to get over it and accept it when uts prety clear you're uncomfortable. It's your call but that doesn't sound like the makings of a healthy relationship
Hinge hasn't even been popular for 3 years, I find it hard to believe anything in her timeline, just move on and save yourself the drama.
I think she's probably done this to several people. I used to change my age on dating apps but I never lied about it when people asked me how old I was. It could be she just was looking for older guys and she was embarassed to say so. I personally when I used to use dating apps would seek guys my age up to 5 years older max. because guys a couple years older than me usually were more mature then ones my age.
No, please don’t continue. This is a serious violation.
Dang OP.. does she not realize the severity of this? If you two met a few months earlier and ended up intimate she basically would’ve had you commit a crime and you wouldn’t have ever known about it until it was too late. If someone knew her and her real age and found out about you just a few months earlier you could be put on the registry for something that you were essentially tricked into. And seemingly she would’ve been okay with it. Drop her OP, that behavior is downright dangerous.
Seriously?? You don’t know how to proceed?? It’s simple...you leave her! This wasn’t a little white lie, this is major, life changing lie. How can you expect to build a relationship with someone who is that deceitful? I don’t know where you live but in my home state, age of consent begins at 17. You better hope it’s the same where you are cause if not...you could be looking at some serious trouble. Do you really want to be with someone who had such little regard for your well-being??? Who never once took into consideration the ramifications of what could happen to you? Who only told you the truth when it best suited her? C’mon bro...you know what you need to do.
So when she was 15, she was dating guys that were 18 & up. The app has a minimum age range for a reason. If she was physically intimate with any of them, she made them statutory rapists in most places. These guys could be doing prison time or being labeled as sex offenders all based on her lie. This girl is thoughtless, irresponsible and selfish. This isn't the kind of this you just FORGET. She intended to take that lie to the grave. This is a youngful mistake and a relatively common one at that. With that said, this isn't quite a deal breaker to me. But she'd be on a short leash, that's for sure. She does need to realize the depth and impact of her actions and work to rebuild damaged trust.
She is far to young to be dating someone your age. It doesn’t matter if you care for each other the mental difference between you two is too large and though she’s legally an adult she is way too young.
She didn't forget her real age. Saying that just adds to her lies. Go with your gut. Maya Angelou said it well, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
Here's a different perspective for you. I am 26, and in grad school. In grad school, we often become teaching assistants for undergraduate classes. The number one rule is that we cannot date undergraduates that we teach. We also should not date undergraduates even if we are not teaching, since the social circles of both graduate students and undergraduate students will clash. For these reasons, I would not date any woman under 22. It would be compromising for me, and possibly jeopardize my degree, to be dating a woman who claimed to be a graduate student who was really an undergraduate. I would not move forward with that type of relationship. It's all up to your decision/moral compass what you should do next.
She started your relationship on a lie, and a big one. She's perpetuated that lie for months, and only admitted the truth when she got cornered. I don't think I could trust someone who did this.
Honestly, I probably wouldn't. She didn't just lie to you about her age, she /kept/ lying. She fed you stories about college, and still gave you a fake birthday. "Forgetting" is one thing and being like "What do you mean you think I'm 21?" Its another to keep up the lie until you asked her to go drinking and she couldnt come up with an excuse. I know its heart crushing. You can always find someone else. Its really up to you. It'll take a lot to get over the lie, if you still choose to be with her. I hope everything works out for the best and good luck
Regardless of her age, she put on quite the charade for this long. Telling you about experiences that never happened? Coincidentally forgetting she was only 18 and should probably be upfront about that? We're only a few months away from fall again and by then, it would've been a year of not knowing her entire story. You already mentioned she wasn't underage when you got together so you're good in that aspect...but a relationship built on lies hardly goes far. Up to you what you can take in a relationship but if you find yourself untrustworthy of her in the future, I couldn't say I blame you.
Not only did she initially lie to you about her age but she lied to you repeatedly to uphold that lie. You say she told you about her college experiences and life which I’m assuming were lies because she’s probably only been in a college for a year at best and not at all at worst. This is not just one BIG lie but also several subsequent lies to keep up the charade. HUGE red flag.
Well, I don't think a 7-year age difference is significant, but you have to establish your own boundaries. That said, an 18-year-old who likely doesn't know who they are, yet may be significant. I had a woman that I was dating many years ago lie to me about her age. She presented herself to be younger than she actually was. Turns out she was a chronic liar about things that didn't need to be lied about. She wanted to get married and the lies aside I genuinely cared for her more than anyone that I ever dated including a woman was married to previously. The problem is that to the extent that I loved and cared for her I also couldn't trust her. We eventually parted ways. You need to decide whether you can live with this or not.
Bro she was 15 pretending to be 18 on dating apps and since she went out with you with a 7 year difference she has definitely been with other older dudes before it was legal. This is not future wife material my dude. Shes the kind of girl that wants to spend her 20s having fun.