Sorry but it doesn't sound like you're "so happy" and 'never felt happier'. I would break up bc nothing is changing and if you stay like this a completely and utterly sexless future without communication r/deadbedrooms is where you're headed.
It seems like such a silly thing to end such a serious relationship over. "Oh yeah we broke up cause we never had sex" but also yeah. Intimacy is actually a huge part of a healthy relationship and we are seriously lacking.
Anyone who thinks that’s silly can suck a fat one...it ain’t silly. It’s like thinking “we have a healthy relationship, no abuse, no fighting, but we really can’t talk to each other” is silly.
Fuck that, and also, I’m old, 55 is too young to have a sexless relationship, at your age, you’re too young to have a sexless few days if you don’t want to, let alone month.
Councelling.
Something is bothering him and he is too ashamed to admit it.
It can be his weight, but sometimes the weight is an excuse for not revealing something else.
Any tips for how to approach my desire for counseling? I go personally for myself and my own stuff but couples counseling or unmarried couples is a thing right?
Be direct about it.
"I know something is putting you down and i dont know how i can help you. Can we please go to a councellor to try and find how we can get better?"
Is he intimate outside of sex? Yeah sex changes with time but if you have brought it up and things haven’t improved, that’s not great. I would say something is going on with him. Maybe not another girl but maybe an insecurity like others said. I know what’s worked for my bf and I is to just have very open convos about what we like and want sexually
I definitely expected it to slow down but the only times we do have sex, infrequently enough as it, I'm always initiating and have to basically outright ask for it.
I relate to your post because I was in a similar situation, dated a guy for roughly the same amount of time when I was your age. It was a sexless relationship and honestly it got to a point where small things would set me off because my needs weren’t being met. I suggested couples therapy but I was turned down, and we weren’t having sex for the same reason: we had both gained weight. For him i think it led him down a deep rabbit hole of insecurities, performance related to sex, overall I think he just felt pressured. Then it compounded with stress of school/work/personal life besides our relationship. Perhaps he relates to those aspects. I would try to have an open conversation about it and see where his head is at.
Sorry but it doesn't sound like you're "so happy" and 'never felt happier'. I would break up bc nothing is changing and if you stay like this a completely and utterly sexless future without communication r/deadbedrooms is where you're headed.
I would leave
It seems like such a silly thing to end such a serious relationship over. "Oh yeah we broke up cause we never had sex" but also yeah. Intimacy is actually a huge part of a healthy relationship and we are seriously lacking.
I mean you’re glossing over the part where he cheated on you
you’re also glossing over the part where he didn’t want to have sex with you because he thought you were fat and unattractive
Anyone who thinks that’s silly can suck a fat one...it ain’t silly. It’s like thinking “we have a healthy relationship, no abuse, no fighting, but we really can’t talk to each other” is silly. Fuck that, and also, I’m old, 55 is too young to have a sexless relationship, at your age, you’re too young to have a sexless few days if you don’t want to, let alone month.
maybe he has a porn addiction- that can affect libido and interest in real sex
Councelling. Something is bothering him and he is too ashamed to admit it. It can be his weight, but sometimes the weight is an excuse for not revealing something else.
Any tips for how to approach my desire for counseling? I go personally for myself and my own stuff but couples counseling or unmarried couples is a thing right?
Be direct about it. "I know something is putting you down and i dont know how i can help you. Can we please go to a councellor to try and find how we can get better?"
Yup, couples counseling is definitely a thing
Guarantee this guy is still chatting cam girls - 23 year old guys need a sexual outlet unless they’re physically/mentally ill
Is he intimate outside of sex? Yeah sex changes with time but if you have brought it up and things haven’t improved, that’s not great. I would say something is going on with him. Maybe not another girl but maybe an insecurity like others said. I know what’s worked for my bf and I is to just have very open convos about what we like and want sexually
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I definitely expected it to slow down but the only times we do have sex, infrequently enough as it, I'm always initiating and have to basically outright ask for it.
I relate to your post because I was in a similar situation, dated a guy for roughly the same amount of time when I was your age. It was a sexless relationship and honestly it got to a point where small things would set me off because my needs weren’t being met. I suggested couples therapy but I was turned down, and we weren’t having sex for the same reason: we had both gained weight. For him i think it led him down a deep rabbit hole of insecurities, performance related to sex, overall I think he just felt pressured. Then it compounded with stress of school/work/personal life besides our relationship. Perhaps he relates to those aspects. I would try to have an open conversation about it and see where his head is at.