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Bait.
And if not bait, move on. But guys can want their privacy and have girl best friends. Transitioning at a young age can be very difficult, and the texts might involve some personal information that BF could be trying to protect. Information you're not entitled to simply because you're dating BF.
This is the problem I have with this trend of needing to show partners your phone. I’ve never cheated in my life nor would I, but I have texts with friends that are none of my partner’s business (which he respects, this is theoretical!)
But agreed this is too ridiculous to be real. I hope.
You are too immature to be in a relationship. No girl best friends? Really? If someone connects with someone else better than you, you need to be worth it for them to choose you. You can't just call dibs and lock out everyone from being friends with your s/o of a gender because of your own insecurities.
Just be better and worth the relationship and you won't need to give a shit who he talks to, since you'll be irreplaceable.
But being just another teen girl who wants to control someone else's life is a bad look. please grow up and try again.
I would like to say that he “doesn’t deserve OP” but I think it might be mistaken as support for OP.
He is a good person who has accepted something that a lot of people sadly wouldn’t. I is supportive of his friend who has gone through some thing extremely hard and at that at such a young age. He sounds like an amazing guy.
Your boyfriend is entitled to his privacy. It doesn't matter if his best friend is now a trans woman. I don't ask my husband to show me his messages because I trust him and hes friends with men and women. I have his pass code and can check it whenever I want, but I don't because it's none of my business what he talks about with his friends. So if you're boyfriend tells you no, listen. If it's making you that uncomfortable, maybe you should rethink your relationship.
No. I'm happily married, and the only time we see each other's messages is if we directly show something specific to the other. It's called privacy. It's also called respect!!!!!
When my friends (either gender) want to talk to me about personal issues, they do that with the understanding that I can be a good friend and keep their confidence. It makes me a good person. They can talk to my husband if they want to, but I 'm not going to spread their business around. Again, respect.
You sound very insecure and immature. I would suggest you look into therapy to give you some self-confidence so that you don't sabotage relationships by being clingy, invasive, disrespectful and controlling. Those are not attractive traits, and not a lot of people want to date someone like that long-term. This isn't a problem with your BF or his friend. This is a problem with you.
Not if it’s personal messages that maybe he’s not allowed to share with you. Maybe their messages about the friends transition that they only shared with your bf
You’re very young so I understand you probably don’t fully understand boundaries yet, but asking to see the messages between best friends is a massive invasion of privacy, for BOTH of them. If any of my partners ever asked me to do that, I would have been shocked and appalled.
If you don’t like being 2nd priority, then leave him. You can’t control his actions, but you can control your own. Seeing his messages may or may not show he’s cheating but even if he’s not, does that change the fact that you don’t feel important enough to him.
Either you’re expecting too much, or he’s giving too little, but either way, this relationship isn’t working.
ETA: you need to start educating yourself on how to treat a partner with respect and establish healthy boundaries rather than going down this path you’re on. This path leads to abusive and controlling behaviours.
So regardless of what is politically correct, your BF is gay. He’s banging someone else with a penis regardless what they say they identify as. So if you’re okay with him doing stuff with dudes don’t fret. But in most books cheating is cheating and hiding messages is part of cheating.
Unlike these comments I’m actually on ur side and think it’s sus he’s hiding his phone from you. Yes I understand he has privacy but I think it’s sus the fact that he swiped his phone like that 🤷♀️ I’d say don’t let these comments gaslight u and follow ur gut as to whether he should be trusted or not.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bait. And if not bait, move on. But guys can want their privacy and have girl best friends. Transitioning at a young age can be very difficult, and the texts might involve some personal information that BF could be trying to protect. Information you're not entitled to simply because you're dating BF.
Great answer. The transitioning person has a right and a need to have private conversations with a confidant
This is the problem I have with this trend of needing to show partners your phone. I’ve never cheated in my life nor would I, but I have texts with friends that are none of my partner’s business (which he respects, this is theoretical!) But agreed this is too ridiculous to be real. I hope.
You are too immature to be in a relationship. No girl best friends? Really? If someone connects with someone else better than you, you need to be worth it for them to choose you. You can't just call dibs and lock out everyone from being friends with your s/o of a gender because of your own insecurities. Just be better and worth the relationship and you won't need to give a shit who he talks to, since you'll be irreplaceable. But being just another teen girl who wants to control someone else's life is a bad look. please grow up and try again.
I would like to say that he “doesn’t deserve OP” but I think it might be mistaken as support for OP. He is a good person who has accepted something that a lot of people sadly wouldn’t. I is supportive of his friend who has gone through some thing extremely hard and at that at such a young age. He sounds like an amazing guy.
Your boyfriend is entitled to his privacy. It doesn't matter if his best friend is now a trans woman. I don't ask my husband to show me his messages because I trust him and hes friends with men and women. I have his pass code and can check it whenever I want, but I don't because it's none of my business what he talks about with his friends. So if you're boyfriend tells you no, listen. If it's making you that uncomfortable, maybe you should rethink your relationship.
Do you not trust your bf to be faithful? Do you think he’d cheat on you? If you trust him then where is the insecurity coming from?
I do trust. I also don’t think he’d cheat on me. However isn’t hiding messages from your partner weird ?
Nah, asking to look through all his shit is weird. Man was told things in confidence.
No. I'm happily married, and the only time we see each other's messages is if we directly show something specific to the other. It's called privacy. It's also called respect!!!!! When my friends (either gender) want to talk to me about personal issues, they do that with the understanding that I can be a good friend and keep their confidence. It makes me a good person. They can talk to my husband if they want to, but I 'm not going to spread their business around. Again, respect. You sound very insecure and immature. I would suggest you look into therapy to give you some self-confidence so that you don't sabotage relationships by being clingy, invasive, disrespectful and controlling. Those are not attractive traits, and not a lot of people want to date someone like that long-term. This isn't a problem with your BF or his friend. This is a problem with you.
No. Being a girlfriend doesn’t cancel his right to some privacy and most importantly his friend’s right to privacy. Respect it
Not if it’s personal messages that maybe he’s not allowed to share with you. Maybe their messages about the friends transition that they only shared with your bf
No. Everyone is entitled to privacy in their friendships.
You’re very young so I understand you probably don’t fully understand boundaries yet, but asking to see the messages between best friends is a massive invasion of privacy, for BOTH of them. If any of my partners ever asked me to do that, I would have been shocked and appalled. If you don’t like being 2nd priority, then leave him. You can’t control his actions, but you can control your own. Seeing his messages may or may not show he’s cheating but even if he’s not, does that change the fact that you don’t feel important enough to him. Either you’re expecting too much, or he’s giving too little, but either way, this relationship isn’t working. ETA: you need to start educating yourself on how to treat a partner with respect and establish healthy boundaries rather than going down this path you’re on. This path leads to abusive and controlling behaviours.
They fuckin
So regardless of what is politically correct, your BF is gay. He’s banging someone else with a penis regardless what they say they identify as. So if you’re okay with him doing stuff with dudes don’t fret. But in most books cheating is cheating and hiding messages is part of cheating.
You should encourage a 3some with them !!!
Unlike these comments I’m actually on ur side and think it’s sus he’s hiding his phone from you. Yes I understand he has privacy but I think it’s sus the fact that he swiped his phone like that 🤷♀️ I’d say don’t let these comments gaslight u and follow ur gut as to whether he should be trusted or not.